July 9 

$9 Lunch Out

I ate out and redeemed my free soda.

TM(21) requested homecooked chicken and dumplings (birthday dinner).  A newer recipe of MH's, that is more of a chicken soup gravy with biscuits.

The cake did not last long. 

July 10

$20 Groceries 

Another chaotic day.  My employer will be out of the country next week and so was pushy about needing certain things done.  While also having planned a work event.  & then I will be out of town taking care of my mom for a few days.

So we did some cooking thing (summer work event).  Much like the cake, the food was not pretty but it turned out pretty well.  I brought home tons of food for the kids, which is kind of usual anyway.  I am always saving food from the trash, but will have to let it go when I no longer live with human garbage disposals.

I just worked from home for a couple of hours, drove to the event (closer to my house than the office) and we finished up very early (2:00?)  Which was a relief because I had some packing to do.  Hadn't anticipated working after the event, so was over it and ready to switch to other stressful life things.

I am more of an off peak early bird but didn't think I'd have time in the morning to grocery shop.  I tried 8pm grocery shopping which was really very nice (more empty than 8am).  I spent $20 on cat food, ketchup and potatoes.  The last time I was with my parents their ketchup looked scary and was way expired.  I figured I would just bring my own.  (Ended up getting stuck with scary expired PB & mayo, this time.  I get it.  It's not so easy when you don't live with growing boys.)  I was going to pack some ground beef from our freezer, but for whatever reason it came up and my Dad told me he had beef I could use.  So that saved me some $$$.  I packed up some dinner leftovers and bread (about to expire) and figured I would be good for a few days. I also packed up a can of tuna, some veggies, and crackers.  

Before I forget, I am switching DL's name to TM.  From Drama Llama to Teacher Monkey.  He's more had an evolving identity over the years.  I think Musical Monkey or something like that would also suit him (more of his long term personality) but MM is already taken.  

July 8 

$3 McDonalds - coffee for cake

$16 rental liability insurance

TM(21) is the only one in the house who likes coffee at all.  I ordered him a cake (with coffee) last year but he did not care for it.  So I saved a chocolate coffee flavored cake recipe at some point.  I reasoned that I never drink the work coffee and I should probably just borrow a cup of brewed coffee (would be far less than my fair share).  But I was not in the office this day and thought maybe I should check the McDs app.  I could have gotten a free coffee, but I think I could only do one deal at a time and I decided to get some free french fries (+$1 soda).  Which means the coffee was $2. 

The coffee was more than I needed, so I took a sip.  I realized that A - my taste buds have chilled out over the decades and it's no longer the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted.  & B - I think my Starbucks generation (1990s high school) peers who practically shoved coffee down my throat, telling me I just wasn't doing it right, maybe went the wrong way with all the sugar and cream.  I am now thinking they would maybe could have won me over going the other way.  While I still disklike 'coffee flavoring' in general, this bitter hot drink didn't bother me as much and I can see it being an acquired taste.  I never minded beer.  So maybe bitter black coffee is more my thing. 

I made DL's cake.  It was a double decker, a first time for me.  I think I over baked the cake.  I checked 10 minutes early, noting another favorite cake recipe of mine bakes up 10 minutes faster in our current oven.  It was already well baked.  & it ended up sticking to the pan more than I anticipated.  In the end, the cake was ugly but it was divine.  The coffee taste was very subtle but everyone liked it.  & I mean, I pulled it off well enough.  I just refused to move the cake after I iced it.

TM(21) does like beer but he is wary of addictive substances (alcohol and coffee and whatever else) and so he has zero interest in any of that.  My friend had just been telling me she took her kid gambling on his 21st birthday.  So I asked if he thought about gambling.  TM's response was very, "Hells no." The one thing I know that he will enjoy is being able to go to a concert or a jazz club, without worrying about if it's a 21 & over show.

Oh yeah, MM(22) got home at 2am the night before, so everything about this day was chaos.  He likes to drive home late at night.  MH was kind of, "So you are coming home early so that you can unpack your car?"  MM(22) replies, "Nope.  Can I park in the garage?"  So we did that.  He once again packed his car very well.  Brought home all his big furniture and kitchen supplies.  Don't ask me how.  I should have taken a picture when everything was vomited all over his room, but he quickly went into 'organization' mode and I didn't get any pictures that captured the full crazy. 

I suppose we've only ever tossed old appliances and mattresses when we replaced them.  But MM(23) still has my old high school mattress.  Obviously time to move on, but seemed silly for a bed he uses a week or two out of the year.  He took apart the old bed (it's also not salvageable, probably because he is a monkey).  So we will have the junk hauled.  Apparently we get two free junk hauls a year, but this will be the first time using that in 25 years.  Or it sounds like MM(23) can drive it to the dump with a coupon (that I generally keep track of but I think one just arrived in the mail this week).  I think he would enjoy that and clearly he can make it fit in his car.  Will leave it to his preference.  We bought him a much nicer queen size bed for college, which he set up this day.  & he took apart my old desk (from 2000) that I don't think is salvageable.  Just an old cheapie thing that has been moved once already.  That might go in the junk pile.  He picked up a nicer/newer desk at the college (free).

My next project will be some serious decluttering.  My 'hoard everything the kids could use later' plan is going to evolve a bit.  I wouldn't keep the old mattress and no one wanted the old desk.  I will go through the chairs soon, see what the kids want.  (We clearly have extras).  & no one wants an electric skillet that MM brought home from college. I will be busy freecycling items.  I think the old bed headboard might be salvageable, but I am not sure (if it would work as a standalone).  I also have boxes of stuff from FIL's hoarder garage.  (Don't ask me.  MH thought MM might like some free stuff.  & also MIL was very pushy about giving us her junk.)  I just keep putting off, but I can see it's time to clear some things out.  

I spent $16 for one more month of rental liability insurance, because MM(23) is still on his lease for another few weeks.  Will cancel at the end of the month.

Anyway, the day was pretty chaotic between cake making and MM(23) moving.  & tearing apart old furniture, and so on.  I did several loads of laundry for MM(23), don't ask me why.  Bedding.  Probably because it's an easy chore and he was very busy.  We laughed and laughed about some mystery comforter pocket? he acquired.  I followed the washing instructions and didn't look inside until it got all jumbled up in the dryer.  I recognized the comforter I bought for his bed, inside this comforter cover of some sort?  MM(23) was so confused, remembering the comforter (that's where that went!) but not the bright orange cover he (or someone else) encased it in.  Maybe we were also a little silly with exhaustion, at that point. 

MH got his last paycheck for a while.  There was ~$400 left in the checkbook after that (I run the checkbook to $0.  It's just where money comes in and out.  I don't keep any money in there).  So it's easy to visualize excess.  Which isn't really a thing (having excess, re: our tendency to over-save and run things very lean).  But I figured I'd wait and see what MH's paycheck was and maybe just leave it in there to make life a little easier this summer.  In the end, I will need it for MIL's milestone birthday celebration this month.  I have no idea if this will cover it, but it will make a dent.  Not something we particularly planned for.  But I would never skimp on this re: my in-laws' generosity.  It's just unfortunate we spent their last big cash gift in one week in February (the emergency week from hell).  & MH is off work for summer, and our other cash reserves are lower than I would prefer.  So the timing is not ideal, but we will survive.

July 7

$2 Lunch Out 

$8 Groceries

$10 DL Birthday Gift (chips & salsa)

$33 Dinner Out

$50 savemooncamp.org

I've always been surprised by the 'rewards to spending' ratio when it comes to loyalty accounts and apps.  Historically not much of an eater outer, this means Round Table rains free pizza on us, though we might average one pizza every 8 weeks.  & then I signed up for the McDonald's app when it was clearly easier for their employees.  (Hindsight 20/20, they have the best app, re: my limited fast food use).  So now they give me infinite free french fries. 

I don't remember if the fridge was empty or I slept in or what, but I was thinking I'd check my rewards, for lunch.  I got a free burger and fries.  I was kind of joking with my coworker that Taco Bell never gave me anything.  But I got my first reward!  (Checking on a whim).  Free soda.  I decided to redeem at a future date.

Oh yeah, I had to buy a $1 soda to get the free fries.  I didn't want a soda and so I offered to a coworker.  I thought all McDs sodas were $1, but I guess that changed at some point.  I didn't know what she wanted and already committed to a large.  I figured I would survive re: $2 lunch ($2 for a large soda).  I just like their fries and fountain sodas (which happens to be their infinite reward).  I got the free burger from Burger King.

I swear I put eggs on the grocery list but MH swears they weren't on the list.  So he ran out to the store again.  He bought eggs and bread.

I met up with a friend for dinner, at my favorite Mexican restaurant.  She ordered some to go food for her son?  I briefly considered ordering some chips and salsa for DL(20).  He loves them so much that I picked some up on Christmas Eve for him.  I was more leaning against it, but then I remembered it was his birthday in two days.  He *loved* the pre birthday gift.

Two financial things of note that came from dinner.

My friend (mid to late 50s) casually mentioned she bought a home.  The post housing bubble burst has led to a generation of 55yos taking on 30 year mortgages.  Maybe that was always the case, but it's a little more 'starting over from zero' versus to when I think of the 'infinitely buying up' among my parents' peers.  Most our local peers (and somewhat older) lost their homes to foreclosure and have been re-buying in the past few years.  In this case, my friend was pretty smart with her money but lost her home to divorce. 

Completely random change of subject, but I have been keeping an eye on MM(22) expenses, as he graduates college and becomes an adult.  I think pretty much we cover the big stuff (room/board/healthcare) and off the top of my head we pay $15/month for his cell phone and $30/month for dental care.  & he covers most the middle stuff.  The only other thing I have come up with is I realized I also pay $20 to e-file his state taxes.

Talking to my friend, my Target credit card came up and I thought, "Oh yeah!  MM has my credit card!"  He is an authorized user, but I don't think he's used the card for a couple of years, and I completely forgot about it.  I did ask MM about it later and he told me he forgot the PIN #.  I told him if he wasn't using it anyway, we should retire the card.  But I will leave him as an authorized user.  There seems to be no downside to just leaving him on there.  Both my kids have 780+ credit scores, because of this one credit card.  Most the rest of my open credit was 'zero length of time' in recent years; I've never bothered with keeping old cards opened. In addition to refinancing mortgage periodically as rates dropped (paying off old loans and starting over).  So my kids benefited (credit score boost) re: the 15yo credit card.   I think this Target card is nearing the end of its life cycle.  MH refuses to shop there, but I keep using the card mostly because it's the only place I buy cat food in bulk.  I've switched to mostly buying toiletries and non-grocery items at the grocery store.  It's convenient.  But every once in a while the price of something (like granola bars) is still, "Hells no."

If you follow the Big Bear Bald Eagles (live cam), developers are trying to buy nearby land (partof the eagle territory).  They've raised $4.4 Mil of $10 Mil to block the deal and to preserve the land.  I wanted to donate a little more with the new month.  savemooncamp.org

July 5

$22 Movies

$31 Groceries

$57 Target

MH & went to the movies today.  I had sticker shock.  $14 for a 9am matinee?  Something like that.  We saw the new Minions movie.  (I very rarely buy a movie ticket, so in my mind a matinee is still $6 or something?  I don't know).  MH has his unlimited movie pass, and I bought a snack.

The most amazing cheesesteak place *was* by my new office, and then it went out of business quickly.  😞 So I told MH I would go to the movies if we could get cheesesteaks (right next to the theater), which are honestly kind of 'meh' (in contrast).  But it's all I got now.

I glanced at the cheesesteak hours as we walked by in the morning but completely missed the 'closed for the holiday weekend' sign.

So we went to the grocery store.  I wanted a couple of items like bread, and told MH I'd prefer the 'ready to eat' section over eating out.  Wasn't sure if I would buy anything, but my second choice was probably a pound of beef (which is very expensive these days, though would have lasted longer).  So I picked up a take and bake pizza not knowing what the price would be.  I think it was $11, and the kids devoured it. 

The GF broke one of my favorite little 10 oz glasses.  I popped online to buy more, but of course I can't find the ones I bought last time.  *Sigh*  I had already bought a couple of sets, but can't find them now.  In the end, I love the new ones I ended up with.  $30-ish.

I mentioned recently that I no longer deny myself things, within reason.  While shopping online at Target, I found a few pretty notebooks.  & then I remembered the granola bars are often 50% - 75% cheaper than they are anywhere else we frequent.

July 6

$17 Lunch out

$148 Groceries

MH did a grocery run.  

On whim, I tried another (highly rated) cheesesteak place by my work.  It did not win me over.

July 3

$31 Dinner Take Out (x2)

MH wasn't feeling great Friday and of course he would have eventually figured it out, but his smart watch ended up telling him his skin was a little hot, late at night or when he woke up the next morning.  So he took his temperature and he had a fever, a reaction from the shingles vaccine.

There's a local burger place we have never tried and MH was in a "Whatever, nothing sounds good" mood.  I treated myself to a milk shake and it was divine.

July 4

$86 DL(20) Birthday Gift

MH, the gift buyer (and insister on buying material things for holidays and birthdays), asks me if I planned to buy anything for DL's birthday.  No?

I guess DL(20) had just played this card game and it was amazing.  & asked if we could buy it and play it on his birthday. I presume MH bought some expansion packs and that kind of thing (re: the cost).

I thought I was going to entirely give up re: hectic week.  Nothing new or unusual, but it's a big birthday month, plus a few outings thrown into the mix.  It doesn't take much to throw off our minimalist preferences (usually reflected by a lot more downtime and a not crowded calendar).

Anyway, Wednesday is always more of a breather, and I suppose I will have a lot of downtime while I am caring for my mom later this week.  So I will soldier on.  

July 1

$86 salt/pepper shakers

I replaced a broken salt/pepper shaker set recently and MH does not care for the new ones.  I told him to get his own then.  I figured it was going to be a 'different strokes for different folks' thing.  He prefers to meet in the middle (and have less stuff).  I prefer to just use what I actually like (and have two of some things).

He figured it out.  I think we would both be happy with the much higher end salt and pepper shakers.  So while it is unlike him to spend this kind of money, I can see that's what he was excited about.  Just having one set that we both like.

MH received a $500 gift for his 50th birthday (6 months ago).  I think he might have been more on the fence, but I told him he still had some gift money left.  Usually he doesn't want to spend and I'd just invest.  But I told him this year, I was going to set it aside.  & not like he usually gets that much for his birthday!  But just talking about random money in general, when it falls out of the sky.  

There's probably a week or two (late June through early July) where I am spending down similar buckets of money.  I am extra appreciative of our slow burn through unexpected or set aside money (some of it I have been saving for years), during this murphy year from hell.  It's allowing some more luxury spending when we could not otherwise justify.

MH still has $250 of his gift money.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

July 2

$103 Dinner Out (x4)

This was MH's last work day before his seasonal summer break.

He had his second shingles vaccine after work.   When I got home MH was over it.  Long day, and he was tired. We briefly thought we could sneak out and enjoy a quiet dinner for two.  (We do not always invited the kids because that is far outside our budget).  & of course, we had just talked about how we really needed to rein it in this summer.  Because I will likely need to touch our emergency funds, if anything else big breaks while MH is not working.  & we just have less money to spend, in general.  But usually we just muddle through.  It will be a harder muddle this year.

So of course, we go out for a big dinner.  

We did discuss DL(20)'s birthday plans (over dinner) and he told us he did not want to eat out for his birthday.  So in the end, I consider this a very planned (financially) pre-birthday dinner.  Cheaper than planned, because MM(22) was out of town.

Money well spent.  The food is always amazing at this Thai restaurant.

It's probably ambitious during a busy month, but I figured I'd dive into 'spending tracking'.  Just as a way to jump back into blogging.

Unlike in the past, will be focusing on my own spending (versus other household spending).  & maybe weekly, or 'every few day' updates.  & I mean, I can share grocery (household spending) but that is depressing right now.  😁 With a 5-person household.  MM(22) devoured all of our food for a couple of weeks, and then he left town for a couple of weeks (wrapping up stuff in college town; cleaning out rental).  We will definitely have to take some breaths and re-evaluate meal planning.

July will include 3 birthday celebrations, and a few days out of town caring for my mom.  

MH & I did our big dinner out, to celebrate MM(22)'s graduation.  MH's head was mostly where I expected it to be.  The one thing that was confusing to me was he seemed eager to push MM(22) out of the nest but I recalled MH had lived at home (free room/board) for 18 months?  It was just 6 months, I was confusing years.  So it does make more sense now. 

After that conversation, I ran into DL(20) and was asking him some questions about the GF's plans.  It turns out her rental situation fell through and so she plans to start paying us rent in a couple of months.  More things to figure out and talk about.  We might have a a couple of tenants paying rent in 2027. 

The bigger news is that DL(20) is talking about moving out, to help the GF with rent. (Not necessarily right away, but maybe when he finishes his degree next spring.)  I didn't *see* it because DL has been so insistent on living at home and saving money, and is so much like MH in that regard.  But MH called it.  We talked about it the other day and MH told me, "I just thought I would have done the same thing if you needed help with your rent."  Which honestly, I did need help with my rent at the same age, but I was more self sufficient and more quiet about it, I suppose. 

I wouldn't be surprised if all 3 of them move out at the same time, sharing an apartment to save money.

That reminds me, please send some good vibes.  The GF had a job interview this weekend for a job that she will enjoy (very much like the job she left on the east coast; it's a sister company).  The job market here is abysmal, like it always has been.  Both her and DL have been overly confident about this job, while I wouldn't personally hold my breath.  

I don't usually pay much attention to numbers other than an annual review.  But I figured I'd check in re: Emergency/Murphy year from hell.

First 6 months 2025:  In the black every month (earned more than spent), except for June when I had a $4,500 college bill.

First 6 months 2026: In the red February through May.  I have no idea how I ended up in the black in June.  We had several big expenditures, including more home repairs. 

Second half of 2026: I suppose that MM(22) could get a job tomorrow and our expenses could decrease drastically at that point.  But the only known at this point is that I no longer will have MM's college expenses.  

2025 vs 2026 spending: We've spent $19,000 more this half year, more than we spent last January through June.  

Details:

$6,000 College (more college expenses re: MM Year 5, but this is gone now)

$4,000 Home Repairs 

$4,000 Medical

$6,500 Emergency Vet

--------

$20,500 - Obvious reasons for increase in spending

This does not include things like paying an extra $3,000 in taxes (more FICA paid with raise; withholding more taxes re: loss of college tax credits)

I am grateful that this all happened this year.  We had so much going on last year and opportunities we were able to take advantage of.  The early year emergencies gave us the memo that there won't be much fun spending this year.  It set the expectation early.

I was cutting back retirement savings, intending to spend and enjoy more.  🙄 *This* is not what I had in mind.  But I have to admit it's one more reason I am probably stressing a lot less than I would be otherwise.  We will try again next year, re: more fun spending.

After all that, we somehow ended June with $2,400 in cash (above emergency funds).  It feels like a miracle we haven't had to dip into our emergency funds.  Will see what the rest of the year brings.

Side note:  By far not an all inclusive list of murphy year from hell, but it's the big/expensive stuff. 

Big picture: Net worth is up $50K.  

Details:

-$10,000 Cash (Medical Emergencies)

-$10,000 Investments (College Expenses)

+$ 5,000 Mortgage Decrease

+$65,000 Retirement 

It's always hard to sweat the smaller stuff when wealth is growing faster than we can spend.

I had a post the other day that I personally messed up and didn't save correctly.  *sigh*  I always do a cut and paste, but then I inadvertently cut and paste another post.  

So I tried to do a meaningful update and that is what happened.

Starting in the right here and right now...  This was the chaos of today.

Not shown:  2 bikes, 2 guitars, a big fan, a desktop computer/monitor, other furniture and infinite bags.  I have no idea how MM fit all that in his car.  He will make another trip for his bed, and to spend some time wrapping up things and cleaning up his space.  It sounds we might send a second car to grab the last of his things.  (He can fit his bed in his car but it's probably all that will fit.)

Side note:  MM's laptop made it through 5 years of heavy use and lots of travel on a bike (I think it just got very beat up re: constant travel).  Phew!  I thought MM(22) was cutting it a little close when the screen started going black towards the end.  Didn't want him to miss a final or something important, but he had backup plans and it worked enough through the end.

The chaos is compounded with the kids planning a big backpacking trip this week.  So there's also backpacking supplies strewn about.  They are currently taking stock of what we have (not much), what they've borrowed, and what they still need to buy.

I also share this picture because this is just how I expect life to be this summer.  The house is full.  Not that the entire year hasn't already been chaos, but now it's just different chaos.

Chaos aside, it is exciting that MM(22) is done with college! 

Edited to add:

Three days later and still haven't posted this...  I just happen to be taking stock of MM's finances.

MM(22) graduates college with a ~$25,000 net worth.

+$15,000 Cash

+$10,000 ROTH IRA

Give or take a few thousand dollars.  His ROTH might be up a few thousand more this week.  

& I personally view $10K of that as a (well needed) car replacement fund.  Not sure he agrees, but is what we have talked about over the years.  He has a 23yo car, so he needs a plan.

MH & I are going to plan an extravagant dinner out (just the two of us) to celebrate the next chapter.  It will be a good time to talk about our financial expectations for MM, which we need to figure out and then communicate to him at some point.  I think we are both good with letting things ride for the rest of 2026.  I think that's the only thing we've really said out loud to each other.  Free room/board for the rest of 2026, while he figures out the next steps.  But I don't think either of us is interested in supporting our kids past college.  But it's also kind of moot right now.  The house is already full of people, so what's one more?

I was looking up something in my blog and came across this post from 2016.  It was in regards to MH refusing to toss any of his professional clothing from the early aughts (that he was obviously never going to wear again).

A snippet from that post:

I doubt the kids will have any use for ties, but I suppose maybe they could divide the ties between the three of them.  Just so that they have a tie in a pinch.

Anyway, I totally forgot that was where we landed.  I can tell you now that MH won't go for it.  While he might agree we have reached financial independence and it's pretty official that he won't have to suck it up and take a tie-wearing job in the future...  He's also very reluctant to give up his stuff.  So I can hear it now.   What if he has some big business meeting for his movie?

Will probably put a pin in this for another couple of years.

In 2016 the kids were pretty young.  I do think that MM(22) has since taken custody of MH's nice shoes.  (He's had a handful of job interviews over the years, and more formal college events to attend.) Who knows, MM(22) might find some of these clothes useful for upcoming job interviews.

MM(22) Mar 2026 'Gifted College Fund': $1,347 (+$5K ROTH)

MM(22) Apr 2026 'Gifted College Fund': $115 (+$5K ROTH)

MM(22) May 2026 'Gifted College Fund': -$0- (+$5K ROTH)

Rent is paid through 6/30.  

I don't anticipate any other college expenses (like tuition or fees), but the lease runs for another month.

MM(22) got me utility numbers for the past 9 months.  I just pulled that from DL's 'college rent fund'.  Because emergency spending has been so crazy this year, I don't want to pull another $1K here or there from our cash (which was Plan A).  My current plan is just to pull from other 'college' savings.  We will dip down below the $12K I wanted to keep for DL.  I may just make it a goal to replenish that at some point this year.  Last I did a calculation, will probably draw that fund down to $11K.  Then I can work on adding $1K back at some point.  Or might just let it go.  I am more viewing that as a 'home maintenance' fund because DL(20) has no interest in moving out during college years.  It's not that I feel he really *needs* the $12K.  It's more that I want to put a plug the money drain.

Graduation will be here in a blink.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I did pay DL(20)'s tuition but I just don't care enough to do an update.  It's kind of meaningless I suppose, until we figure out financial aid.  By the time we get state grant numbers, I suppose I will know how much will be left in his (gifted) college fund when he graduates.  Then it will be a more interesting update.

White Cloud Poppy

I just got my annual 401K statement.  While I could easily calculate my balance down to the penny, I recall going with a more conservative estimate for my 12/31 numbers.  I was short by $6,000.  (Oops, didn't mean to be quite that conservative). So I adjusted my sidebar today.

I surpassed my first six figures on 12/31/24.  2025 contributions were $6,400.  Employer matched $5,000.  Market gains were $18,000.  It's crazy to me, that I put in the bare minimum of $6,400 (bare minimum to get the full match) and that the other $23,000 was pretty much gravy.  Even if it wasn't a super high stock market return year, there still would be a lot more than just what I put in.

I think this sums up 'efficiency' pretty well.  Also, starting young.  Not this particular account, which I started in my 40s.  But you can imagine how my 'started in my 20s' accounts are doing.

This is the first 401K statement that blew my mind.  But it's the longest I've had an employer retirement plan.  I can see the numbers get more interesting after the first $100K. 

I had a very relaxing week off of work.  

I did not do much of anything, other than a day trip to the coast.  I was planning to visit a more popular stretch of coast but realized at the last minute that the roads were pretty windy and it would probably take 3 hours just to get to our destination (though it's probably just a few miles from where we ended up).  So I went to Plan B.  Which was Sausalito (just north of San Francisco).  We had just been to the hike that I love over there, so I picked out another hike (just a few miles further south).  It wasn't challenging or as long but it was a unique experience.  We went through a one way to tunnel to get to this beach.  There was some WWII installations (we saw abandoned concrete structures).

The birds were just coasting by on the wind.  It was very serene to watch the floating birds.  We mostly had the place to ourselves.  

& we saw the velella velella on the beach.  Another thing I thought was more of a So Cal thing (and have seen lots of pictures of).  But I guess they also wash up on the north shores, in the spring and fall, when the wind patterns change.  The poor guys (related to jellyfish) get stranded on the beach.

It was the first time I had seen in person, but I immediately knew what it was when I saw all the blue glistening in the sand.

We topped off our day with a fancy dinner on the Bay.  The food was okay (not bad) but I felt the pricey dinner was worth it for the view.  

Total cost:  $150 for a splurge-y dinner and $7 parking.  The drive is a little over 90 minutes but somehow we don't have to cross any bridges or pay any tolls.  

Last time we were here on a week day, everything closed up super early.  So we were surprised how much was still open later on a Thursday night.  We originally thought we'd have dinner in Napa, on the way home.

Today is a little more back to reality.  All else being equal, I'd probably just veg out another day or two.  But after delaying many times, DL(20)'s girlfriend is moving in this weekend.  !!  Now the self-imposed 'crazy' can commence.  More immediately, will just by tidying the house (my least favorite thing).  & over the next few weeks I will be assisting the GF with car shopping and with financial things. 

I'll be in chore mode for a couple of days, but I have a spring hike planned for Sunday.

It wasn't until I cropped this photo that I noticed his little white patch showed up in this picture.  I was looking through photos (with his white patch) and had given up.  

He's still got some wild kitten energy.  I found him the other day making a game out of the toilet bowl.  He would drop his toys into the toilet and then fish them out.  *sigh*  

I'd say that we had a couple of weeks of peace on the home/emergency front.  Not on the work/emergency front.  My assistant was out on bereavement leave.  Which happens, but it's like the millionth time.  I suppose I haven't had any peace, but at least it was a couple of weeks of reprieve from big emergency spending.  

But last weekend was quite dramatic.  We had a roof leak.  Which maybe we wouldn't even know!  But the water was funneling into one of our smoke alarms.  So this set off all (7) of our smoke alarms (wired).  It's been panic inducing at times when they all chirp re: low batteries.  The sound is so loud and piercing.  But this was Level 11, with all of them blaring.  

When all was said and done, I feel quite lucky that we were home.  I wouldn't be surprised if no one was home (for a long period of time) and my cat had a heart attack, or was irreversibly pyshcologically scarred.  Also, it was a spare room in our house (mostly unused), so I have no idea when we ever would have noticed the leak otherwise. 

While the roofer was kind of *shrugs*, roof tiles shift over time, or maybe the builder didn't do the best job securing all of the tiles...  I did think back to that extreme wind storm a few years ago.  That timeline makes sense.  We weren't home, but a large amount of fences and trees blew down, and I guess the storm was pretty wild (heard about it secondhand).  If it takes a few years for the water to seep through the other layers of the roof (that get damaged with constant exposure to sun and elements).  

I have never given the roof a thought because we bought new.  & probably our overall mild weather is a factor.  I got the memo that at the least we should probably inspect the roof (or at least do a drone fly over) after more extreme storm events.  & is probably more important as our roof is aging, though I don't think storms discriminate.

The fix was fast, and thankfully not a large emergency expense.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I am adding thousands to the 'emergency spending' this year.  But the amount seems to be dropping down, with each emergency.  & that could have easily been a lot more expensive.

P.S.  This is reason number 1,052 why I want to downsize our home, when the nest empties.  (MM's room is a second room that is empty about 95% of the time.  A leak in any of these rooms could have gone undetected for a long time. More rooms will empty...)

Done with everyone's taxes (relatives), so I should be getting some time back.  I finished before last weekend, but there was nothing relaxing about last weekend.  & work *should* settle down now, but it never seems to.  At some point there has to be some payoff re: everything I have taken off my plate during the last year.  The last 5 months have been a little extra.

MM(22) Feb 2026 'Gifted College Fund': $2,600 (+$5K ROTH)

MM(22) Mar 2026 'Gifted College Fund': $1,347 (+$5K ROTH)

Rent is paid through 4/30.

There are ample funds to pay May rent.  & I am feeling pretty *shrugs* about June rent.  I've accumulated ~$500 interest in DL's 'college rent fund' (that he currently has no plans to use).  So I will put the $500 and remaining funds to MM(20)'s June rent.  I think his returned deposit will cover July.  Or maybe a gift from MIL (she mentioned recently she will do one more annual $1K college gift for MM).  <---Not sure if she will give it to him or me, but I will probably insist it goes to his rent.  I've let him use for college spending money the last few years but that's no longer a thing.  By the time he gets that gift, he will be done with college. 

& then updating this post, was a reminder that I will owe him a year of utilities.  (He has yet to give me numbers.)

I don't know how MIL is going to play it.  The gift was $1K every year, from birth until 23rd birthday (in MM's case).  I presume she will keep giving the kids gift money every year but will just stop calling it 'college' money and will give directly to them.

Whatever is left, I will probably pull from the DL(20) rent fund.  I might just lower that from $15K to $12K.  I can offer $12K (or a full year of rent) for his teaching credential year.  If he changes his mind about moving out.  This is just money I have loosely earmarked for college expenses.  It does not belong to the kids.  ($12K would buy him a single room in a 2-bedroom apartment.  So, basically a mansion.  That's just my Bay Area frame of reference.  Massive, and it cost pennies.)

I'd have to look up MM(22)'s last day of school.  But it must be roughly 2 months away.  🤯

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I did pay a graduation fee to DL(20)'s college.  It was minimal and will be offset by interest.  (I just pulled from his gifted college fund).  Not enough to bother looking up numbers and doing a full update.

Pet loss, and grief, go hand in hand with crazy Murphy years from hell.  In this household.  Sure, a bad few weeks happen.  But given past history, I am bracing myself.  2026 so far is some crazy combo of 2013 & 2018.  I think 2018 was more absurd, but 2013 was more general Murphy and very expensive.  

Thank goodness for that cash gift from my in-laws.  The $10K is long gone, re: emergency ER spending (human and pet).  I am of course grateful.  But I am also frustrated because we didn't do the boring thing.  We didn't put it mostly to retirement or the mortgage.  We didn't put it to planned spending.  I am trying to decrease our savings and spend more (on something fun or things we want).  It's just not happening.  

I do appreciate it is early in the year.  We get the memo, there is nothing fun happening this year.

Anyway, like most of the past decade, I give up on filling in any details.  Just picking back up in the here and now.  

In addition to unexpected chaos and a lot of Murphy...  I questioned my life choices for a bit when we got a new fur baby.  He started out way extreme scared and then he had some steam to blow off (so he was very wild for a time).  I think he is settling into a happy medium.

Note:  He ripped off the felt covering on this ball.  *sigh*

He does have a little patch of white fur on his chest.  So at least I can tell him apart from my last black cat (in some pictures, anyway).  My last black cat was regal.  This one is a silly boy.

MH was drawn to him because he sounded like some middle ground between our last two cats.  He is more of a snuggly lap cat.  & I mean, he appeared to be more shy/timid like my regal girl.  But I don't think he is shy.  Like our Siamese, he is very brave and friendly.  He was just scared.  His family could no longer care for him.  😔

We decided early on that he is probably 1.25.  Not 2.25.  He is very kitten-y.  There are typos all over his paperwork.  In fact, I cleaned up my email yesterday and there was an entirely different birth date given to the microchip company.  What!?  So he is either 1.5 (that matches the microchip info), 2.25, 1.25, or 11.  We were going with 1.25 (he shared my birth day and month) but I now we have two different sources that say he is 1.5.  That is probably the most accurate.  Probably his last family adopted him when he was 3 months old.

MH pressured me the weekend we picked up this cat.  It is what it is.  The following weekend it would have been over.  I had my eye on an adorable Snowshoe.  I lurv him!  But it was way too soon.  (I can't believe no one has adopted him yet).  That rescue is a little extreme.  I get it.  They never want these cats to go through this again.  But they pretty much want your firstborn child, before you can even meet the cat.  I just presumed it was way too soon and he would be adopted quickly.  In the end, the extreme rescue showcased several cats in public the following weekend.  You could meet that cat without filling out a 10-page application first.   The more chill rescue that we did adopt from, the following week they had a Tortie/Siamese mix.  If I had just waited one week I probably would have ended up with another blue eyed beauty.  So yes, MH definitely pressured me.  But he knew it was just a matter of time.  & was tired about hearing all the homeless cats I didn't want quite yet.

If we wanted to go the frugal route we could have waited a few more weeks.  The shelter was empty early on but starting to fill up more.  Kitten season is just starting.  Last time we lost our pet in March? & adopted end of April.  Everyone was always asking me if my Siamese was a purebred (he probably was).  I have no idea, I don't know anything about him but that he was dumped at the shelter.  We got him for $5 because the shelter was full and no one wanted him.  I know those $5 or even free adoptions are coming up in another 5 weeks or so.  But we were probably less price sensitive this time around.  & even with all the 2026 chaos, I probably had a lot more bandwith.  I don't have small kids and I am not working every Saturday, like I did the last time we lost a cat this time of year.  Because of that, I think it would have been a lot harder to wait.  I don't have so many distractions, this time around.   (& I have many many distractions.)

I didn't even ask what the adoption fee was (it was not a factor) but it was $100 at the more chill rescue.  I think the shelter has a $125 adoption fee.

MM(22) Dec 2025 'Gifted College Fund': $7,900 (+$5K ROTH)

MM(22) Feb 2026 'Gifted College Fund': $2,600 (+$5K ROTH)

Rent is paid through 3/31.

Final tuition payment - Done!

There's enough money left to pay rent through May.  MM's annual utilities (he still hasn't gotten me any numbers) and his June/July rent are to be sorted out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DL(20) Nov 2025 'Gifted College Fund': $20,587 (+$5K ROTH)

DL(20) Feb 2026 'Gifted College Fund': $22,800 (+$5K ROTH)

Financial aid refund received for Spring. 

2025-2026 school year is done and paid for (financially).

I don't think I have another tuition payment until June.

Today I have good news to share.  I got the bill for MM(23)'s last quarter of tuition.  I am transferring funds now and will make the final payment tomorrow.

Take it with a grain of salt because life be cray cray.  He's having problems getting a couple of classes that he needs.  I don't think it's necessarily a big problem.  He was just running down some red tape for two classes he couldn't simply register for.

I am just being realistic re: if everything doesn't go to plan...  I've had front row seats (for 5 years) of nothing going to plan for his fiance (and also her sister).  Both went away to college healthy but have had massive health issues and lots of school quarters missed.   & MM(23) was in the ER last week, so there is also that.

'Only if everything goes right' aside...  Here's the final numbers. 

MM's FINAL net college costs:

$43,242 Tuition/fees** (4 Years)

+$11,589 5th Year Tuition/Fees 

-11,000  Tax credits (Estimate)

-19,642  CA middle class grants 

-  7,500  Scholarships

---------

$16,689 Net Tuition cost  

**Includes $1K for one summer school class

****Side note: MM(23) only got that 4th year middle class grant because he added a double major and extended another year.  Net tuition costs would have been about the same, for 4 or 5 college years.

MH and I will go out for a nice dinner at some point, to celebrate.  & will have to celebrate again when we make the last rent payment. (He should be graduated at that point.  His lease runs into July).

MM(23) is the only one in our household that 'went away' to college.  It's such an unneccesary expense (moving away) in my opinion, that it was never my focus as we planned for the college years.  But...  As we near the end, MM(23)'s big college expense was housing.  Fair enough.  It hasn't been my focus but it is clearly a necessary expense for MM(23) to attend this particular college.  I will do a final wrap up of all college costs when he crosses the finish line.  Quicken tells me we spent $57,000 on housing, so far.  We have a few more months of rent to pay.  

Housing costs will end up being about $12,000 per year.   I don't know what you think about that, but it's dirt cheap compared to any point of comparison that I have.  My housing set point is sky high.  

I have to give the housing credit to MM(23).  He did the work and kept costs down.  I don't know that he personally benefitted much from that (if we are paying the rent).  But he is very frugal at heart and did very well managing costs. 

For now, I am just so happy to be done with keeping track of these extra 3 tuition due dates every year.  Going forward, just the two due dates for DL(20)'s semester college.  Everything about DL(20)'s college is so much more simple.  Just living at home, and all that.  Counting down the days until our lives get a lot more simple.

Before I forget, we had one small win.  MH ended up replacing his theater chair mechanism for $15 (the cost of the replacement part). 

I briefly thought that maybe we were continuing the trend of 'constant emergencies that cost $0 or very little' trend.  Which was most of 2025.  Maybe this ER vet stuff was just a blip.

HA!

Emergency spending was $11,000 during the past 2 weeks.  The last 8 days or so were completely absurd.  If I can have 5 minutes of peace I will share more.  Car break downs, road rage, out-of-network ER visit (college kid), etc.  *sigh* 

I had such high hopes for things looking up in 2026.  😭

My cat didn't make it.

It's never easy but this one is really hard.  It was so completely out of left field.  He had so much energy and life when we dropped him off.  His liver numbers never improved.  Within 24 hours he went from 'appearing very healthy' to 'it's time to put him out of his misery'.  

He was 14.   

Hell froze over and life relented.  In what world do I get to grieve my cat in peace for 3 whole days or process *any* grief.  What!?  Life has not let up during my 40s.  It feels like such an incredible luxury to just sit with my feelings.  I haven't had any time or space to grieve anything the last decade.  It's always on to the next emergency, before I can process anything.  While it's not fun, I recognize that it's very healthy (to actually grieve) and it's a luxury I have not had in a very long time.

I took a nap Friday around 4pm.  I had some peaceful time where I felt I should rip off the band aid and tend to a few things.  Let his primary vet know.  & I transferred money from savings to pay off the vet bill.  I could not even begin to imagine having to think about this financially for another X months or years.  I thought, "I will transfer the money now but clearly can't do much until Tuesday."  Ally is pretty fast to transfer and my CU always gives me funds 1-2 days early.  But *never* have I been able to set up a transfer around 4pm and get the money in my account in a couple of hours.  Not even if I set up the transfer at 7am.  So I took my nap.  Woke up and saw my paycheck hit my bank account already (4 days early re: weekend and holiday).  & the Ally transfer I had just started was there.  What!?  Felt like divine intervention.  I told MH it was a small thing.  I expect the grief to still be very fresh on Tuesday.  I could have handled making the credit card payment on Tuesday and being done with it.  But the money part is done and life moves on.  & I appreciate closing that chapter.

We talked about running away to Pismo Beach.  There was one room left (at our forever hotel, the only place I would stay) and the cost was within the realm of reason somehow.  Even with the Holiday weekend (it hasn't been reasonable on the weekends, in recent years).  I told MH I would see how I felt after my nap.  I actually felt pretty terrible after my nap and changed my mind.  Looked up a few hotels closer to home (that didn't involve 10 hours in the car, roundtrip).  Things are pretty booked up for the holidays, and expensive in prime destinations.  I told MH, "You know what?  I like sleeping in my own bed, and saving a bajillion dollars." 

We did go to the coast for the day (Saturday) and I think it was a perfect 'denial stage' activity.  

My cat had a big personality.  I know it will be very quiet, and that part will be hard.  But it helps as we share the infinite memories of all his quirks and antics.  💞  

I got a fog picture.  

The light is a street lamp.  It just looked cool in the fog but I was surprised you can't even see the street lamp (the rest of it) in the picture.   & then it just looked cool with the tree and the dirty car windshield.

It's been a weird couple of months of extreme fog.  Including a white knuckle drive home from San Francisco a few weekends back, with the thickest fog I've probably ever driven through.

In other news, I am really enjoying the $500 chair.  The fancier/electric powered chair will take some time to get used to.  I think at the end of the day I prefer being able to manually adjust how I am sitting. 

I suppose it might be a spendy furniture year.  On MH's birthday, the mechanism broke (recliner) on his movie theater seating.  In the middle chair that he uses the most.  I am not sure if this will be a 'we just were looking at reclining loveseats and should just buy that' thing, if we will buy something similar (theater seating), or if it will be an easy fix.  This could easily go the way of the 2025 theme of we just need to fix or replace the mechanism.  It could end up being a small thing.  Things to figure out later.  Just living with it for now. 

I doubt we'd buy new theater seating because our longer term plan is to just have a short throw projector, and to not have a dedicated movie theater room.  Not that we necessarily have long term use for a reclining love seat.  But it would be a little less specific and easier to hand down or pass on.

January was very spendy.  But we were able to save about $2,300+ (I updated sidebar) re: December windfalls.  There were no big bills left to pay in January.  January spending (Credit card charges) will sort out in February.  Don't expect to be saving much in February, accordingly.

I expect February (Feb charges paid in March) to be a lot more quiet and frugal.  & it's a short month.  Will see.  

My office moved last week and it seemed to go pretty smooth.  I think my only real complaint is the crowded parking lot.  It looked larger and more spacious, initially.  But anyway, the last couple of smaller office buildings I have been in, they both probably had 20 spots for 5 people.  I just feel like it's infinitely more likely to get into some kind of fender bender in the parking lot.  & it's hard to see much when backing out of spaces re: dense mass of cars. 

What's great and exciting about this move is I think I will be saving an hour a week on commuting.  What!?  I had started out with an estimate of 10 minutes a day, or 40 minutes a week.  & was happy to put up with any downsides of the move (mostly, losing the beautiful grounds) in exchange for more time.  But then I saved 20 minutes on Monday.  I now think that the time savings will be more substantial.  We just moved about a mile up the street.  But the new office is right by the freeway, which is what I am more used to.  (I am spoiled, always having otherwise lived or worked right next to a freeway entrance).  The worst of the old commute was the long 2.5-mile slog to the freeway in afternoon traffic.  My 30-minute drive would turn into a 45-minute drive home, just because of that stretch of city street.  Anyway, now it's more of a 25-minute commute both ways.  

It will be a month or two of sorting out infinite address changes (we have ~30 entities we get mail for).  But I am viewing this move as the last big hurdle of a very trying few months.  Phew!  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HA!

This week has been a week from hell.  Many things going on, but the latest is that my cat is in the Kitty ICU.  Should find out more what is going on today. 

The only thing I know for sure is $$$$$$.   Not thrilled about that.  But also definitely an appreciation through trying times like these that we are not normal.  That we can *Shrugs* when random $10K bills fall out of the sky.  

It could be we have run out of luck with him eating plastic around the house.  He's acting like he is poisoined, so we got grilled a lot about anything he might have gotten into.  Haven't figured it out yet and could be something more serious and underlying.  But I do feel like it's a miracle I have never had to take him to the vet re: all the weird and random stuff he eats.  Heck, this is the first ER vet visit I've ever had for a pet.  

Oh yeah, and MH is a big sofite.  Logically, he's pushed back in the past, at the idea of spending this kind of money on a cat.  But he folded like a wet noodle when the rubber hit the road.  Heck, do I have to be the voice of reason??  He actually had a strong reaction to the DNR question.  I was just, "Wait, what!?"  We have a 14yo old man cat.  

The vet called him spicy because 4 people had to hold him down to draw his blood.   It sounded like an excorcism happening on the other side of the wall.  That's my demon cat.  Anyway, the vets all seem to think the odds are in his favor.  He's not acting like a 14yo cat in an ICU.  So all of this was kind of a no brainer.  Also, I'd like him to not turn into a demon cat at home.  Our vet did give us a $500 option to treat him at home.  I don't think the ER would have agreed that was doable.  So it might all be for the best. My nerves are far less shot, knowing he is in the best hands.

I received MM(22)'s college tax form and confirmed that they treated his summer income as a 'tuition reduction'.  Which is not doing us any favors.  Would have been tax-free to him if they just treated it like income.  It was technically wages, that I of course let him keep (and did not apply against his tuition).  

I thought this seemed to be the case when they paid him in one lump sum, the same way they refund financial aid.  On the plus side, MM wasn't planning to do any ROTH IRA contributions** and it seemed obvious enough to me (after he was paid), so I was mentally prepared to pay another $900 tax ($4,500 x 20% tax credit lost).  Was just waiting to see how they reported on tax forms.

**I believe he has $0 'wages' this year so would not be able to do an IRA contribution if he wanted to. 

& literally, he would have paid $0 tax on that money if it was reported as wages.  The weirdest W-2 I have ever seen was the quarter he worked as a TA for the college.  The only box completed on his W-2 was 'taxable wages'.  Not subject to FICA or any other taxes.  His income is well below the standard deduction. 

I also just happened to get our investment 1099s (a couple of weeks ago, when I received the tuition tax form).  Which is the only reason I can't finalize our tax return on January 1.  I've got everything else dialed down the last day of the year.  But I don't know what's a qualified dividend or not.  That's the only tax form I really need.

So our taxes are pretty much done.  At some point I will sit down and make sure all of our tax forms match my records.

I thought we did really good in January (savings) but it will all end up going to taxes and IRA contributions, probably.

I double checked if we literally could contribute $0 to tax deductible IRAs, how that landed.  We can do $1,120.  I will do that, to save $336 (30%).  That's a no brainer.

Mostly I wanted to make a note to myself to remember to do the IRA contributions. 

I did a 2026 tax projection and so was able to finalize my net pay and 2026 goals.

My entire raise will go to taxes and healthcare.  😒 I had wanted to eke out some extra money from bigger raise, to cover expected tax increases in near future.  I couldn't cover any of that, so I made a note in my budget spreadsheet.  I need to come up with an extra $400/month (taxes) at some point in the near future.  The obvious solution is to just move it over from the grocery budget, when I am no longer feeding kids.  I wanted to get ahead of that curve, but I don't think it's going to happen. 

Pay cash for college 

Just one more tuition payment left for MM(22).  & then there will be one...

$10K to Savings 

The Usual

$7,500 to Investments 

I am only going to be able to save ~$5,000 from my paycheck and credit card rewards.  But there's always other snowballs (like MH's income) and snowflakes.  So I will try to be a little more aggressive on this goal this year.  It should also be easier, having less college expenses.

$1,500 to mortgage 

This is the amount we need to pay to keep on our '$10K per year paydown' trajectory.  This number is going to drop down for a couple of years (as regular principal payments increase).

We've been pretty set on not tying up any more money into the mortgage (than this) while we have two kids in college.  & I think we are leaning more towards a 'mortgage payoff' fund at this point. (Piling up money to pay off eventually, with one final lump sum.)  I was just doing the math if we front loaded this goal.  It would save us a whole whopping $50.  There's many reasons for the 'mortgage payoff' fund but definitely there's just not a lot of interest to be saved with pre-payments at this point, with low-balance/low-interest mortgage.

9% Income to Work Retirement Plans 

MH and I both contribute the minimum for 401k match.  The 9% includes employer contributions.

$0 to IRAs 2026

**Stretch Goal = $17,200 (MAX) to IRAs**

Hitting Coast mode, while strangely not getting as much tax benefit from (smaller) retirement contributions.  Which I personally think is *amazing* and makes it easier to cut back on retirement contributions. 

Leaving the stretch goal for the 'unexpected money' factor. 

& to be clear, I consider MH's income to be a snowball.  So the snowballs I need for other goals are very expected.  The stretch goal is more about if money just falls from the sky.

SUMMARY

This is also an odd year where we may have some major expense decreases mid-year, with a college graduate.   (e.g. a significant reduction in healthcare and food costs.)  We may shift these amounts to building up investments, and bumping up goals.  Will see how the year goes.

Edited to add:  It's going to be a weird year of flux.  Since I started this post, I now think we will be a 4-person household early in the year.  I don't anticipate the extra houseguest to change our goals or numbers.

MM(22) Nov 2025 'Gifted College Fund': $9,115 (+$5K ROTH)

MM(22) Dec 2025 'Gifted College Fund': $7,900 (+$5K ROTH)

Rent is paid through 1/31.

Nothing much to report.  Will pay MM's final tuition payment in February.

& I have some extra cash set aside to cover MM's last month or so of rent in college town.  Didn't have much of a plan before, but I officially told MM(22) not to worry about it.   I just did some rough math and it's still crazy how we might have just enough 'gifted college money' to cover his last month of expenses.  But too many reimbursements flying around and moving parts.  (He just got 1/3 of reimbursements owed to him from 24-25 roommates.  This was money I already gave him so he technically owes back to the college fund.  Just to make this more impossible to calculate.)  Will see.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I won't have another DL(20) update until I get his financial aid refund, in a couple of months.

O.M.G.

Disaster company sale did not go through last Friday.  😭  I just couldn't even with that.

Of course the final chapter of disaster company was a total disaster.

The buyers planned to pay cash.  But they don't understand how money works?  I was fed juicy tidbits from multiple people along the way.  The whole thing is just bonkers.

I was still optimistic we could make this work.  I think in most cases this would be a major red flag or just wasn't going to happen.  But I felt like it would work out, eventually.  Given the details.  

So last Friday they told us the wire had been sent, but it never came through.  & then they kind of went radio silent as they scrambled to figure out their crap.

I guess they came up with an acceptable down payment on Thursday.  So I get this call in the afternoon that they need the wire info because they are heading to the bank.  What!?  (This was after almost a week of crickets.  My employer is just trying to leave us off the roller coaster, like that is really possible.  & the buyers were also pretty quiet while they scrambled.)  So that was very out of the blue.  I got the wire paperwork and it all looked good.  Surely the bank agrees the money is there, and they got all the account info correct.  But it was after 2pm when they called me.  So I knew this would be a Friday thing.

When the wire money wasn't there by noon Friday (they thought it was sent) I was really losing my mind.  I. can't. even. with. this.  

The wire did eventually came through.  I later told my employer, "You know, you never told me the amount we are accepting."  LOL.  For all I know, he demanded $500K and they only sent $400K.  (While he was trying to leave us off the roller coaster ride, he hadn't told me anything about the new agreement.  I had just seen the paperwork at some point while they were negotiating.) They had sent the agreed amount.

I have so much work to do to wrap this up.  The week delay and distracted week of limbo is not helping things.  But I am so happy how ongoing operations, payroll, and employee issues are no longer my problem.  Instead of doing 50 + 15 employee's payroll every week, I will just be doing our company (15 employees).   & I think our payroll is a lot simpler (mostly salaried) and will be easier to get my assistant independent on. 

I don't know why. everything. has. to. be. a. roller. coaster.  2026 definitely is starting off with the exact same vibe of 2025.  (When I didn't even blog for 2 months, because everything was so crazy).  

Current mood:  Exhausted and numb.  I think I am mostly in disbelief.  & the reality quickly set in as we jumped directly from that roller coaster to all the nitty gritty of moving things over.  

On the home front, there's also a lot of big things going on.  The most dramatic is that DL(20)'s girlfriend will be moving here soon.  She needs a place to land on her feet.  I expect she will live here for a while and that I will have to cosign her lease.  I am kind of, whatever.  If just minding my own business creates this much drama, what if I actually did something wild and crazy?  🤷🏻‍♀️  What difference does it make at this point?  I think cosigning a lease (so that she can get on her own two feet) is actually pretty boring and would have zero impact on our finances.  The stakes seem pretty low re: dirt cheap housing in our lower cost region (compared to any frame of reference I have).  & with two young 20-somethings that could use an apartment (if she abandons it).  I will give it some thought and won't rush into anything.  But it sounds pretty boring, in the grand scheme of things.  

I am really proud of both DL and his girlfriend.  They both have very good heads on their shoulders.  I very much relate to her situation.  She has no debt.  When it came to my own lack of debt, this was always viewed through a middle class lense as a big accomplishment.  No, you don't understand.  I couldn't have afforded one penny of debt.  The interest rates are usurious when you are 20 and on your own financially.  Being in a mega high cost city, I couldn't have personally afforded $100/month for a car loan or a credit card payment.  There was just no money to entertain debt.  I personally view it as a good thing that the GF is not going to college.  She felt like she didn't have a choice.  But she easily could have made the choice to go deep into debt for a degree.  Or she could have chosen the debt spiral (re: payday loans, car loans, credit cards, etc.) simply because she didn't know any better.

Her timeline is speeding up because wages are so much higher and labor laws are so much better in our state.  I think she will be able to save money.  & then she can go the free community college route, once she establishes her residency.  The smallest kindness will change the course of her life significantly for the better. 

I just remembered the other day that we were encouaraging my niece (who also graduates college this year) to move up here.  It's going to be a year of flux, on the household front.  Might have a household size of 3-6.  I think 6 is unlikely, but the offer is out there.  Both the niece and MM graduate this summer.

DL(20) did tell me that his plan is to live at home for 2.5 more (college) years.  Piling up the money.  He is such a mini-me of his father.  

This reminds me...  One of MM(22)'s roommates last year was *drama* and had a falling out with their parents before they signed the lease?  Their GF's parents came through and agreed to pay their rent *and* co-sign a second $4K-$5K/month property.  (You know, because they already had a college kid living in another house.) I remember at the time saying, "it must be nice!"  So I feel like life has come full circle as I consider pretty much doing the same thing.  Just 18 months later. Well, let's be clear.  I did not offer to pay the rent.  It's just a similar thing.  For one $1,600/lease.  This is more my pay grade.

Edited to clarify:  In college town, cosignors have to cosign for the entire property.  I presume it will be the same for this 1-bedroom apartment though it will be split 2-3 ways. 

This is what I started to write re: 2026 Financial Goals.

I am trying to minimize IRA contributions.  But I think we will need to contribute $5K to IRAs, in order to avoid the next tax bracket (22%).  Which feels pretty steep after paying ~$0 taxes for two decades.  & also factoring how complicated taxes are and how this means an effective tax rate of 35%+.

I ended up preparing our 2025 tax return this week (state software isn't ready but I have good IRS numbers).  And...  Our income level means we lose the ability to deduct Traditional IRA contributions.  What!?  So anyway, this is pointless and I have to plan ahead re: larger 401K contributions instead (if I want to reduce MAGI, or if I want to lower our taxable income.)

It gets even more weird.  I just reduced income by $10K (in tax software) to get a sense of what our effective tax rate is (trying to figure out if I should up 401K contributions to manage taxes) and our effective tax rate (on just this $10K) is only 22% for Federal.  😮 I was envisioning more like 40%, given how wonky our effective tax rate was for every extra dollar of income, when we had more tax breaks.  That's crazy!  I've never just paid a flat tax rate without losing all sorts of other deductions because we had more income. 

It's good because it no longer sounds horrifying to skip Traditional IRAs. 

A - I can't deduct those contributions anyway. 

B - A 22% tax hit is pretty small (compared to years past).  If we are used to 25%+ tax hits when we were in the 10% or 12% tax bracket.  & now 22% just means 22%.  

After all that, I don't have any reason to contribute any money to IRAs.  It was a windy road to get here (as I noticed more and more tax consequences of higher income), but I feel a lot more confident about dialing down retirement contributions.

The other piece of this equation is that we are no longer subject to 0% long term capital gains tax.  Which is some of why lowering our income (with retirement contributions) used to lower our tax rate so dramatically.  

There will have to be more thought and planning re: tax efficiency in the future.  For example, I never gave a flip about tax efficient mutual funds, when our investment tax rate was 0%.  It's a topic I might have a wee bit more interest in now.

Edited to add:  I got state tax software/update so was able to run through state numbers.  Definitely feeling the middle class squeeze here.  The tax rate moves pretty quickly from 4% to 9.30%.  Our marginal tax rate will be 8% for state, this year.  Bringing our total marginal tax rate to 30% (22% + 8%).  It will be a very simple tax calculation when it comes to my bonus this year.  (30% is kind of *shrugs* because that's the true marginal rate we were used to already.  It's been ~30% for a long time.  Just was a lot more complicated re: losing other tax breaks when we had extra dollars.)  Which is why I used my tax software for rough estimates (after losing professional work tax software).  Our taxes in 2026 can easily be done with some rough napkin math, in contrast.  There's not 5 different tax deductions/credits/rates/phase-outs interacting with each other.

Pay cash for college ✔

Just one more tuition payment left for MM(22).  Crazy!

$10K to Savings ✔

Final tally was $13,185. 

Saved at the last minute, by a cash gift.  Which made up for a wild spending year.

$7,500 to Investments ✔➕

Final tally: $7,900

Was able to surpass the stretch goal with my bonus.

$1,700 to mortgage ✔

Mortgage goal is non-negotiable.  I will not have a mortgage for more than 30 years on this house (while healthy and well employed). 

9% Income to Work Retirement Plans ✔

MH and I both contribute the minimum for 401k match.  The 9% includes employer contributions.

$6,000 to IRAs 2025❓

Decided to pass on this goal. $0 to IRAs.  

I put 30% to retirement last year, and wanted to focus on other goals.  This decision was before the cash gift.  But I think it's important to stay the course.  

We contributed 20% average (to retirement) during 2024/2025.  This is probably the #1 reason we are putting IRAs on ignore.  Will contribute $0.  The other reason I suppose is because we hit a big retirement milestone.  & the stock market is high.  I am sure there's many reasons.  I'd be more inclined to take advantage if we could get in some cheaper buys.

The twist: Just noticed that we are about $7,000 into the 22% tax bracket for 2025.  Ouch!  When our taxes were otherwise ~$0, our effective tax rate was 25%+ (on IRA contributions).  Because taxes are complicated.  So I can only imagine that we are talking about paying 35%+ for every dollar we don't put into retirement (with the 10% tax bump).  I guess this goal is on hold and I will very likely put at least $6K to our IRAs if we get a third of that money back.  I am really trying to back off retirement contributions but it's just not happening.  This is the flip side of efficiency and all those years I pointed out my friends and coworkers with 2x or even 3x our household income were netting the same.  I am feeling the middle class squeeze.  The cost of spending more is...  A 33% tax penalty?  Maybe I just need to let it go. I have 4 months to ponder.  

Edited to add:  Then I ran tax projections and I think it will be a $0 IRA year.  But I will just leave this as a question mark until April 15th.

SUMMARY

Retirement goals will start to decrease as we enter financial independence 'coast' mode.  The 'saving for retirement' part is over and now it's about letting that money compound.  & with that, we can start to enjoy our money more.  I don't see the point on keeping the petal to the metal for the next 10 or 15 years.  We are starting pre-retirement and enjoying our money.

2026 Goals

TBD

I need to run tax projections and figure out what my actual net paycheck will be.  From there, I can set my taxable investment goal.  

Bigger Picture

The bigger picture is that we are probably going to move our longer term savings % down from 30% to 20%.  We've personally never felt comfortable putting less than 30% to savings/investments.  We are starting to experiment with 20%, which I am well aware is still higher than average.  But for us, it feels very lax.

It's probably more precise to say that we are moving retirement savings down from 20% to 10%.  Will see how the rest shakes out.  

Our net worth increased by $120K in 2025.  This works out to $14K retirement contributions & a $101K increase in stocks.  Cash/investments down $5,000 (re: college costs).  Mortgage was paid down by $10K.  Home values remain steady.

Re: my sidebar big picture goal, the goal has been surpassed.  Still have two more years to reach goal so will leave it there.  Will see how future stock market fluctuations shake out.  It's my 'financial independence' goal, which doesn't mean anything until my kids are done with college and our mortgage is paid off (only then can we live comfortably on a lot less.)  So that's one more reason to let the next two years shake out before evaluating progress on this goal.

I suppose if the 'financial independence' goal is surpassed, there's really no need to track any further.  Future net worth gains should be about 99% stock market and real estate gains.  It would not be necessary to add to our investments.  But I will make an estimate of where I expect things to land in 2026.  There's just no specific goal that would need to be hit. 

Historically, we had a goal to increase net worth by $60K per year.  & of course, I'd expect this number to go down if we are no longer aggressively saving for retirement.

Estimate Net Worth Change for 2026:

Mortgage: Paydown $10,000  <---Regular payments + $1,500

Retirement: Contribute $14,000  <---Minimum for employer match

Investment Gains: $30,000  <---Investments doing the hard work for us

TOTAL INCREASE: $54,000

Our net worth changes never look anything like our estimate (it's rare any asset class actually has an average year). But, I go through this exercise just to make sure my goal is realistic and doable.  Or in this case, just to see what we can expect this year.

I am just presuming that other savings/investing and college spending will mostly be a wash.

Note:  Current net worth is $1.4 Mil.  Enough to give us a $1 Mil nest egg and paid-for home. 

Edited to add:  I just noticed that if we cashed out everything but retirement and $30K emergency fund, we could pay off our mortgage.  So tempting!  It's not going to happen because I have college bills to pay and some of this money technically belongs to my kids.  It just makes me wonder how much longer until we just write the check and move on from mortgage life.  It might be in 2-3 years.

& to be clear, no way on earth we'd have $1 Mil, if we paid off our mortgage sooner.  It's been a financial/strategic decision to keep to this point.  & you can also argue that keeping the mortgage longer helped us to not borrow money for college (or for anything else).  But as we hit our financial independence goal and the final college stretch...  There is no longer any reason to have a mortgage.  

I just saw that the final judging video was posted on the YouTube channel.  It shows a lot of the details.

You can copy and paste the link:

https://youtu.be/2AHWPHzncww?si=3dBnxI40zR1tn0kx

One more sleep until my Christmas dreams come true...  😁

On 12/31, disaster company got served with a lawsuit.  🙄  We knew it was coming and I expect they probably heard about the company sale and wanted to slip this through.  It was just icing on the cake of a trying week.  But we had a heads up (some months ago) and everyone seems pretty *Shrugs* about it. We will be financially responsible for anything of this nature pre-2026.  It was a disgruntled employee.  (& to be clear, doesn't matter when served.  The complaint is a pre-2026 complaint.)

Today is also the last day before DL(22)'s girlfriend flies home.  The trip was a success.  I took them out to dinner last night.  I was nervous if she would like it here and could see living here.  Because if not, who knows where they end up.  (She is unhappy in her current situation.)  So I took them out to dinner in the 'this seems to open up a lot of conversation' vein.  She looked horrified when DL(20) brought up she had a plan to move here this summer.  But it answered my question and I told her that was not unexpected. I think she was horrified that DL told us any of this, because it was more the seed of an idea.  But DL(20) was already hoping for this possibility (at some point).  & a couple of his friends want to hook her up with housing and a job.

MM(22) is inside the rose float again this year, on parade day, for his college.  I worry if he got any sleep last night, in the cold and the rain.  They sleep in the float, they have to stay near for whatever reasons.  I mean, most likely so the parade will go off without a hitch (no MIA float operators) but also probably in case of emergency and if they need to move floats for any reason.  & I am worried about him because he was sick.  He might be able to sleep most of today.  He can't afford to miss any classes because it's a new quarter on Monday.  Last year there was a much bigger gap between Jan 1 and classes starting.  & he had to stay with the float for 4 days?  Meaning, he can't go back to his college for a few more days.  The schedule will have to be a little different this year, with the time crunch.  

Oh yeah, and their float won the grand prize!  It's the first time they have won, after 75 years of participating.  So that is pretty exciting!  It's been a rough year of infinite mechanical problems that he was involved with.  I swear he told us 3 or 4 times (some months ago) that he would be over the hump.  But they ended up having several engine problems.  It just seemed to never end.  But the engine worked well enough for judging and getting through the start of the parade.  I suppose that's the most important part.  

If I have one word for 2025, it's that it was EXHAUSTING.  I am so exhausted.

The tenor of the year changed a bit.  It was a little less constant dire news and a lot less '10 bad things happening all at once.'  Because of the tone change, and some really good things that happened, I think 2025 is going to stand out as an overall good year (head and shoulders above the rest of my 40s).  But...  Man it was an exhausting year, and it started out pretty rough.  Most of the rest of my 40s is a blur of, "I don't have time to deal with and process *any* of this."  I'd say that 2025 was less overwhelming, overall. It was a weird no-cost Murphy year.  It felt like the problems were non-stop but on the money front it was one of our lower years as far as unexpected expenses and emergency spending.  It's crazy how many bigger things happened that were $0-$50 fixes.  The perfect example is I thought my cat was dying (he was very sickly and lethargic) and it turns out he was just eating plastic.  He loves plastic, but it seems to be getting worse with age.  So what stressed me out very much was an easy fix.  (I realized when he puked up some plastic before I took him to the vet.)  I feel like this sums up 2025 pretty well.  It captures the stress and drama of all the things that ended up being "nothing" or cheap fixes.  

Some pretty amazing things happened in 2025.  

**We hit some long-term/big financial goals and ended the year with a lot of good money news.

**MH got his movie made and out into the world. 

**DL(20) figured out what he wants to do with his life.  & he found his person.  Both are major life wins.

**Our 25th Anniversary trip was pretty amazing.

I am feeling very hopeful about 2026.  

On the work front, trying very hard re: everything we can actually control.  So excited to lose a chunk of workload (eventually) if this company sale goes through.  We also replaced a $20/hour employee with two $60K+ employees.  *Fingers crossed*  

I still know that we have some very trying years in our nearer future, re: aging parents.  2025 was a pretty good year on that front, and I am just overall feeling in a more hopeful space.  So it's weighing less on my mind.  But practically, we are well aware we have some very difficult years ahead of us, sooner rather than later. 

2023 & 2024 were a lot more difficult, in contrast.  You don't expect to have a significantly easier year when you have two parents going through mental declines.  But 2025 was a weirdly peaceful/easy year on this front. 

Looking ahead to 2026:

**MM(22) graduates college!  That's pretty exciting and feels along the same lines of recent retirement savings accomplishments.  Watching the work of the last 20+ years come to fruition.  

**MH is making another movie.  This has the potential to be very stressful.  But it's the big thing that is in the works for 2026.  More on this later.

MH got some good news on the movie front today.  We found out that MM's float won a big award.  & I am hoping that tomorrow is a really good news day re: selling that company.  So I'd say that 2026 is off to a strong start.