**Shopping shopping shopping
Bought BM a jacket for $15 at Target. Wasn't my choice, but he really liked it. Looked like it would last 5 minutes. (I don't buy adult clothes there generally, but the kids' stuff usually holds up well enough for the rock bottom prices - all their $4/$5 shirts, shorts, pants). Anyway, I will keep my eye out for something better. This one will do for now.
Kohls - had no jackets (we had gone there first), but I had expiring coupons. One was $5 off. So, I bought some earrings. Full price $16 - I paid $4. I LOVE them.
My ears are sensitive so I usually get silver earrings, or apply nail polish to them. I try to avoid the cheapies, that said. BUT, those cheap earrings I got at Payless have been very nice. No ear irritation, etc. Go figure!
Kohls - one final shopping trip. After first track practice. I felt dumb about how unprepared we were (since we signed up ages ago). Went to look for some sweats or more appropriate track wear. Plus look at the shoe sizing there (didn't expect to find wides or half sizes, but was able to get a better idea how the Nike shoes fit BM - the zappos order was way too small).
Got the info and ordered up a full size from zappos again - will see. IT was $10 more, same shoes. IF these fit, I will call and ask to treat it as an exchange - can maybe get $10 back.
Anyway, we scored gold at Kohls, this round. Track pants on sale for $4. I got about 4 pairs (LM wanted one too - whatever for $4). Got a couple of pairs of shorts that were reasonable, and the kids wanted these matching t-shirts. I chose Kohls because I had a store credit from a gift exchange. So, was feeling generous.
Full price for everything was $120-ish. (I know - who pays that???). I had a $45 gift card and ended up paying about $5. I could have used a 15% off coupon, too, If I had planned ahead better. Didn't have it with me. Oh well.
Once we get track shoes, BM will be SET.
**Track? I think track will be great for BM. They were torturing him yesterday by going around the track with the slowest person in the lead. BM Was second and I wouldn't be surprised if there was pushing and shoving. He ALWAYS has to be first. I was thinking, that was genius - he needs to learn some patience. That said, I think they will quickly see he can easily outrun his age group. He was pretty bored because they were mostly walking, but I told him he had to stick with his team and work together to get everyone's stamina up. So, will be interesting. He liked Monday much better since he was able to run a mile full speed. Whoever was in front the second half was a little faster, anyway.
Likewise, one of his school friends was there. They are probably both the top of their class - nerdiest of their age group. I was kind of surprised. What is it about track that attracts the nerds? That said, I liked the parents a lot more than the soccer parents. Track is a thinking person's sport? Who knew? The school librarian was there too (her daughter) so people were reading instead of yacking on their cell phones and talking about all their stuff. A VERY different dynamic. Hopefully BM likes track. Seems right up his alley - he loves to go to the track and time laps, so I think he will enjoy it. That is why I signed him up. I liked that I could read my book without appearing extraordinarily anti-social.
**Had a thyroid blood test and everything came back normal. Absolutely no surprise (I feel great - better than before), but is nice to have the solid numbers. I personally think my thyroid is functioning better than before. From the second I had surgery my body acted like, "Good Riddance!" So any feelings about surgery being way overly aggressive have gone out the window.
I suppose "normal" thyroid levels are very subjective. I've had hormonal issues since 2006 (last baby), so wonder if I have had this growth since then. When my body kind of went whacked. As such, I may feel better than I have in 5 years. I didn't feel bad before, and most of that had worked out, but I definitely seem to have slightly more energy. I also believe my metabolism has sped up a bit.
I may come into a little money this month.
Close relative insists on paying me $300 for tax help. For the most part, EASY money. Will just put to savings. Dh and I discussed it - will somehow get it back to this person or use it for family stuff.
MIL insists on paying for the kids' piano lessons. She had mentioned it before, BUT FIL is retiring this year and she has been kind of wishy washy about this kind of stuff. I think dh and I feel more weird accepting this kind of help with our parents not working. IT's one thing when they are working and have all this disposable income. But, particularly with my parents (unexpected early retirement), I feel weird when they offer to pay for this or that. I suppose dh's family had a little more planned retirement. But, they will take a large income hit - that they have been open about.
So, I was pretty surprised about this.
Again, will just put to savings. For the short run, will build up future piano lesson savings. One of the reasons I resisted the idea initially is I don't want to turn off piano lessons if something happens to their finances. If I signed up the kids I wanted to commit to it. So, I think it is best saved for future years when MIL may not be so generous. In addition, I told dh that maybe we should save it for travel with MIL, since she always wants to travel everywhere and we can never justify the expense. Then she insists on paying, and it can get a little weird.
So, all in all, another $1300-ish to savings this year that I didn't expect. I presume MIL will just give us a $1k check. She knows we manage our money well. Getting a monthly check wouldn't be my choice, but will see. Beggars can't be choosers...
A lot of this comes from the fact that MIL and GIL babysit SIL's kids for free. So MIL feels a strong need to make this more fair and give us money. Which always has annoyed dh and I. It's like, "You don't need to give us money because SIL can't afford her own daycare. We don't want that kind of charity and would never ask that of you." But, it is what it is. In past years she would sometimes mumble under her breath that dh should get a job. Particularly when we couldn't afford a last-minute Florida vacation. Interestingly, that was before SHE retired and took over most of the SIL daycare. I think she has come to prefer that we don't ask for free daycare, over the years.
Likewise, $1k here and there wouldn't come anywhere near the cost of full-time daycare. But it makes her feel better, so, lucky us.
Viewing the 'health' Category
**Shopping shopping shopping
I got the news that my thyroid nodule was benign!
To celebrate, we went out for a way overly expensive dinner.
It was good though.
We took the kids, because a $5 kids menu item was cheaper than childcare.
My mom was appalled and tried to talk me into a date night with dh. I have been sitting home with dh for 2 weeks and we have a dinner out planned next week (fundraiser - no kids). I thought it was appropriate to celebrate with the whole family, anyway.
I can assure you we didn't need a *date night.*
Reminds me, all of my friends are mourning my return to work. Especially the clueless SAHPs who think I never see my kids. Yes, I will lose that 4:00-5:00 hour with my kids. I don't think anyone will notice or care. They spend most their hours at school.
Beyond that, I can not wait to get back to work. Tax season is not my favorite time of year, but beyond that, I am grateful to like my job and HAPPY to go back!
I had already committed increased mortgage payment for January, before I got the news. I can't help but feel the timing was to be. February is a short month and so I figure if dinner put us over budget for this month that we can probably make it up in February. Mortgage payments will stay, as is. No spending money left for January (though probably plenty for groceries and gas).
I dipped my toes in at work. I don't even know where to begin, and I know today I have the potential to be bombarded (I return full-time today - and today is when my clients expect my return - probably LOTS of phone calls).
But, for the most part, it has been much better than expected.
I also got my Continuing Ed. materials, so will either knock that out this weekend or next. Office is closed next weekend so no overtime earned this week or next, but I feel just fine. Probably for the best - a couple of more weeks before I jump in to 50-hour weeks.
At home I have been completely useless, for the most part.
I need to:
*Get taxes done this weekend
*Do my continuing Ed. at some point
*Thank you notes - I put off the whole of the last 2 weeks though I have mostly felt fine
& finally, dh really doesn't do much housework, so the house is a disaster. I haven't lifted a finger, while recovering. I probably could have done a little more.
I could feel more overwhelmed, but am gratetful that I do not have to work next weekend!
I finally got in to a Doctor for the lump on my throat/thyroid.
He really thinks it is nothing. I have an ultrasound Wednesday to look closer, and he is considering if I should get a MRI or a Cat Scan, too. (I guess Cat Scans are better for the thyroid, but do expose you to radiation. No wonder MRIs are the "go to " scan in this day and age).
It's funny because there are a lot of HDHP horror stories out there. For example, my dad's friend called an ambulance once (for a fall? turned out to be nothing?) and they got some huge bill.
I have tried to explain that our deductible is only $3k, and we save more than $3k in premiums, so it we come out ahead, regardless. Until dh's brain tumor, we never hit our deductible, anyway. So we are WAY ahead.
Our out-of-pocket increased this year and I figured that was how they would stick us - this has all been "too good to be true" on some level. Don't get me wrong - we still pay a fortune for insurance, but so much less than we would be if we had no HDHP options.
In the end, once we hit our deductible, they REALLY racheted down what they have been charging us. I could still get a surprise bill down the road (timeliness is not their strong suit). But reading all the fine print, it did seem we wouldn't get charged much beyond the deductible, and that seems to be standing true.
Under the insurance that cost a small fortune, we were charged much more heavily for things like emergency and overnight stays (maybe $500 vs. the $50 we are paying now. That's pretty substantial).
So, overall, I am still happy with our HDHP, all things considered. I feel like we are still ahead, even with a very heavy hospital/doctor usage year.
Doctor visits have been $0 (& I have had a pile), $10 for blood draws, $10 for ultrasounds, and $50 for MRIs. We maxed our deductible in January with dh's surgery, so this is all we have had to pay for, since.
Before the deductible, MRIs cost $1500. So, $50 sounds like a steal, to me. Since we will have 3-4 MRIs between the 2 of us this year. Phew!!
The good is that the Doctor does not think dh's tumor has grown at all.
The bad is he wants to do another MRI in 6 months (because he is not sure). Which just means more $$$$$$$
Overall, it's good!
He is going in for an MRI tomorrow. (He did finally set that up!)
IT would be a miracle, but I am hoping his tumor shrunk/died/disappeared.
It looks like the odds are that either it is growing again, or it stopped growing. So, realistically, I can only hope for no growth.
We probably won't know any results until the following week.
I am so glad we waited 6 months to bring this whole thing up again. It is still very likely that his doctor will recommend radiation. (cyber knife - small amounts of radiation directed only at the tumor - much safer than other radiation. A VERY simple procedure).
We just couldn't handle all this immediately after his surgery recovery. But, I think we feel ready to open that discussion and tackle it, if need be. So, I am kind of bracing myself for round 2 - which may be brought up even if there is no growth.
Just in my inbox:
"California refunds could be delayed (02-24-10)
The state budget crisis is not yet fixed, and the state's cash flow is dismal. It's too early to tell, but you can't rule out the State Controller delaying income tax refunds or issuing IOUs if California lawmakers don't resolve the budget crisis.
The rumblings are starting later than last year, though. & it is still only speculation, at this point.
As for me, I am not owed a refund. In fact, paid in the minimum I had to - just for this reason. But, figured I'd pass along since I have seen the questions around here - about state refunds this year.
Feeling relieved today. Took the kids for dental cleanings. BM seems extremely cavity prone. So, basically, I hold my breath every time we go to the dentist. Not only for BM, but wondering if LM will develop the same cavity-proneness.
It turns out BM did not have any cavities, and the plaque they had been monitoring had desisted, so no X-rays next time either. (Not sure I agree with this - give the boy X Rays! Beats a surprise of an army of cavities festering all year). But, was all good news, yes.
However, his baby teeth had been falling out, out of order, and as a preventitive measure, they did want to pull a tooth, in an effort to get the teeth growing in the right place. I exclaimed it was already loose, as of a few days - more for BM's sake. I have had teeth removed - baby teeth are easy - and loose ones must be easier. Dentist thought I was fighting her and said, "well, if it come out on its own in a couple weeks." Pfffft. That is not going to happen. Told her I was just glad it was already loose - we will come in for the extraction.
Full price is $200. 10% cash discount. 25% off that for tax deduction. In the end $135 for a little prevention, is no biggie. Not that I really think it will matter. The kids inherited my teeth - so we are screwed. I have been saving for orthodnotia since before they were even born.
I suppose this is why a tooth extraction doesn't bother me as much. Those are given, with my genes!
I couldn't fit another dentist appointment in BM's or my schedule for another 2 weeks. (To be fair - trying to work around school more than anything!) Lord I hope dh is up to taking him next time. He should feel mighty fine by then.
Found out my friend's child has a benign brain tumor. THey have been spending the last couple of weeks ruling out cancer. I feel extra grateful we didn't have to go down that route. (They have been meeting with oncologists and getting biopsies in the time frame we were already interviewing surgeons - dh's tumor was so obviously not cancerous).
But yeah, it's like there is something in the water. Yeesh.
As for us, I can't believe we may be putting this chapter behind us, in just a few days. Dh went out for a hair trim yesterday, and his hair is back to all one length. Can still see the scar, but it will be covered up completely in no time. (If he had darker hair - it would probably no longer be visible). His next MRI is in a few days. Hopefully, his final MRI!
It felt like this day would never arrive, as we have been anxiously waiting.
Surgery went better than expected. Can we call my dh "miracle boy," or what?
Wednesday was a whirlwind of medical appointments and tests. We met briefly with the surgeon, who told us that he may leave up to 50% of the tumor, in a futile attempt to save dh's stereo hearing. He said he had never saved hearing with such a large tumor before (ever), BUT that it is extremely rare that any one with this type tumor has much hearing to begin with. The fact that dh lost his hearing only temporarily twice, is no less than miracle. Usually, once it's gone, it's gone.
Oh yes - let me back up - the weather here is CRAZY. It is also a miracle we made it to the Bay Area in one piece. Egads, what a week it has been. We drove through some terrible rain, saw some amazing rainbows, and somehow managed to miss every lightning storm with all our driving. We also have sat in a lot of homes without electricity. The hotel and the hospital have been a nice change of pace, with electricity and all.
So, back to surgery (it's been a LONG day!!!)
It was a whole day affair, though the actual cutting and stitching was about 6 hours. Was at the hospital over 12 hours, though.
We were all stunned when the surgeon walked out and said that 95% of the tumor had been removed. Too early to tell, I suppose, but he said that radiation may not be necessary after all. That, I never expected. He said his hearing seemed okay, but they never know. The truth is it would be a miracle.
Dh was pretty insistent when he woke up, that he see me. The first thing he told me was that he couldn't hear (out of one side). I told him 95% of the tumor was gone, and he seemed relieved. I think we had more second thoughts at the last minute. Truth is, how would he feel with 50% of the tumor still in there, and no hearing? Which in the end was a likely scenario. I am so relieved we don't have to live with that. It was never raised as an option that we would skip radiation. It is amazing.
I do admit, that I hold some hope on the hearing. He's got it back before. What about when all the swelling goes down? Even a little bit means a simple hearing aid as opposed to more expensive hearing procedures/devices. Will see...
Facial paralysis was another biggie. Doctor said the tumor was most entwined with the facial sensory nerve. Which had really been his only symptom (numb face) besides hearing that came and went. In the end, he asked if his face was droopy. It looked a tad droopy, though I don't think I would have noticed otherwise. He has a beard which I think hides it. His eyes and cheeks seems fine, we only really noticed his lips being a little lax. Regardless, the surgeon felt his facial nerve was fine, and temporary facial weakness is expected. Paralysis is pretty rare. Not a lot of worries there. Clearly he wasn't paralyzed...
Dh looked amazing! Everyone warned me about how terrible he would look, etc.
Is that it? But for the bandaging, you'd never guess he had brain surgery. He was obviously doing quite well.
All along they told us he would get a private room, probably. Which surprised me as we were in an old hospital. In the end, they were wrong. I was rather relieved. The nurse said she would be in the room all night, waking him every hour to check his vitals, etc. I was so relieved to come to my hotel and rest. I couldn't stay over since he didn't have a private room. (Bummer - not?) He won't remember anything. Well, so they say. He seemed amazingly alert. Not "too" loopy? Though admittedly, loopy!
Tomorrow night he may get a private room, and that may be nice. When he gets out of ICU. He may go home Saturday or Sunday - is that absurd?
Anyway, I suppose we already knew, but there is nothing more important than friends and family. Times like these you just kind of get that kick in the butt. This week has been made bearable by the love of friends and family.
I know MIL was set on this clinic in LA, but I think being so close to our family has been FAR more important. & let's face it, the doctor we decided on kicked butt! I can't tell you how relieved we are today that we didn't fall for the LA hype. I had reservations all along about the logistics of all that. It wasn't a sole reason to not go there, but I have to kind of say, "I was right!" I was so annoyed that MIL was writing off places like Stanford, for LA. I couldn't understand why looking in our own backyard (with AMAZING medical facilities) wouldn't be a priority. All we have heard all week is how our HMO has the best neurosurgery facility in Northern California, and how our surgeon is one of the best in the world. & we have been justifying our choice all along. What sweet revenge today was. Though maybe the best thing is that all our family is here, too. It just is kind of the icing on the cake. I never imagined that today could "fly by," but it kind of did with all the support we had.
Anyway, this is really just the beginning, on some level. But, I think it's a good start. I am wishing dh a very speedy recovery!
Dh got his surgery date - it's in about 3 weeks.
Yesterday we freaked out a bit. I don't know if it is more real, or if we are just so panicked because it ended up much sooner than expected. We were expecting a February date.
I am relieved we haven't had to get our affairs in order. Long said and done. It's not like he was in an accident and we have minutes to decide. We have had weeks. But it's nice to know that our life insurance and wills and all that are well squared away. I don't know if dh is as insurable any more, so another sigh of relief there. He's well covered for the rest of his life - with the extremely low cost life insurance we bought in our 20s.
Lots of daycare arrangements are to be made in the next 2 weeks!!!
Anyway, to the doctors, this is no big deal. It would be like a 1-night hospital stay if he could get up and walk out. Since they are severing his balance nerve on one side, they want him to regain some balance before he leaves. 3 days in the hospital if all goes well. There has been no talk of risk of death or brain damage, because the odds of anything like that are SO slim.
& yet, they are operating on his BRAIN. It's just hard to accept that it will be so easy peasy.
I assume we will be a bit of a wreck the next few weeks. I will feel so relieved once this surgery is over with.
His pre-op appointment is early, the day after his birthday. So we will go to San Jose the night before and have a BIG birthday celebration, I am sure.
He assumed I would work hard to catch up at work the next few weekends. I asked him if he was crazy - I am spending some good quality time with him while he is well! Though he may make some plans to get together with friends.
So yeah, we decided to take the kids down with us and we will have a leisurely day before his surgery. Will get a hotel a couple of nights, since we have to be at the hospital at dawn, for surgery. I figure I wanted to be close to the hospital the first night - and it will be nice to have a place to rest if the surgery runs super long.
If all goes well he will have surgery Thursday, and be home by Sunday.
We decided to get a nice family portrait before his surgery. Compliments of my dad. Something I'd be willing to pay for, but I know we can get something real nice, for free. There is a possibility his face will be paralyzed, so he wants to get some pictures of his "perfect face" before surgery.
I am with the others in the West. Brrrrrrr. We've got snow, and a freeze warning. Both which happen, never? Living in the valley, I don't think we got snow (certainly nothing that stuck). But a lot of my co-workers live at slightly higher elevations (500-1000 feet?), and all woke up to snow today. Color me jealous! Nothing more than a light dusting, of course.
I don't see any more snow in the forecast - just freezing temps. Like anyone here knows what to do with that.
It's a bummer that it will probably be too stormy this weekend to drive up to the cabin and see all the snow up there. BUT, will keep an eye on the weather, just in case. If the weather clears, we will have an impromptu snow weekend.
My basil plant may be a casualty, from last night. Will bring it inside tonight, just in case it is still alive.
The heat will work extra hard the next couple of days!
My brain is in 2010. Since any bill I get going forward can be pushed to 2010 (put on credit and paid in 2010), 2009 is mostly over for me. Though I will wait for 12/31 for investment values and such, to determine my 12/31 net worth.
So I still have a little financial housekeeping to do, for 2009. But for the most part, I am thinking to 2010.
I updated my sidebar, in light of this.
Last year I thought long and hard about my goals. It was a good year, I am happy, and so I don't have much to add this year. On the flip side, I think with all that is going on, simplicity is best. We won't have a lot of money to spare. & we will probably focus a lot of energy on dh's health rather than other things.
Thus, my financial goal is rather simplstic:
$0 to ROTH.
Re-evaluate once we pay all the medical bills.
Instead of saving in various buckets, my only real bucket this year, is "cash." Though I would be happy to divert some of that to retirement, if the year goes better than expected. (Efund and medical fund are fully funded, as of 1/1. So other cash is really my only other savings goal. Cash for car replacements, orthodontia, house repairs and the like. I can't seem to make any progress there since I seem to get a pile of unexpected expenses every year. $2k here, $2k there. Medical, dental, smashed cars, etc. Feels like I Am spinning my wheels a bit, and why I am happy to hit cash hard this year).
I also had a long-term goal to put 15% into retirement. I am putting that on hold, for 2010. Until all this mess clears. 10%. Of course, I still don't know what my compensation is. By some miracle, I could get a raise and keep 15% to retirement. Just not exactly counting on that one. I am assuming no raise, or something very minimal, considering the economy and everything. I also don't expect I will be able to do big on overtime this year - though some overtime is calculated into my $15k savings goal. I can probably only save $12k, otherwise.
My HOUSE goals mostly remain the same. I thought I would have enough cash this year to implement a lot of put-off purchases. Probably not, in the end, so may push them off. But we did make some progress on some inexpensive repairs, and have more to do in 2010.
My PERSONAL goals mostly remain the same:
[ ] Read a book a month
[ ]2 weekends away, with just dh
[ ]1 camping trip
[ ]1 trip to the snow
[ ]More trips to the cabin
[ ]More biking & hiking
[ ]Season passes to Raging Waters
I feel like I should add "survive" to the top of my list, and I would be happy with that.
BUT, 2009 was very fulfilling as we focused on things that were important to us. We want to make sure we make fun things a priority for our family. Most the things on the list were very frugal too, but fulfilling. IF we do all that, I don't think anyone in my house cares if we can't afford a bigger vacation this year. (We've really only had room for more "vacation" the last couple of years, and as such, are used to extremely frugal weekend getaways and such. Of course the whole thing point is that long/far vacations are not our priority. We like making use of what we have here - and did excellent with that in 2009. I suppose we didn't particularly "vacation" in 2009 if I think about it. Though we did pay for a few more hotel stays than we usually would. Coud live without...).
I did add a new item to the list: To read at least one book a month. I have been staying with that pace, since about October. Before then, "what's a book?" But putting it in writing, as a goal, really makes it more of a priority.
I suppose I don't care if a lot of this part of the list gets put to the side, with dh's health issues. I just don't want to forget these things, for when he is better.
The theme for Christmas this year, is decidedly "kitchen."
I was just telling dh that I was probably going to get my dad a smoothie blender, and didn't have much else to buy. I also had confirmed that the spoiled cousins (our children and their cousins - with the Grandma gift hog) were not exchanging gifts.
Dh and I never exchange gifts, so I clarified that. I guess the rule is since BM has an allowance, that he has to buy gifts for us. Dh told me they had bought me a $25 gift. Ugh. (BM contributed like 1/3 of it).
I was wondering when I would have time to shop, and annoyed at wasting money on useless items, when I remembered dh wanted a larger food processor (we have a mini one). Not what he had in mind I am sure, but heck if I am going to waste $20 on something he will never use.
In the end, I perused amazon a bit and it worked out. I found a mandolin slicer with rave reviews, for about $20. We had been talking about that. Bonus was it came with a knife sharpener, for about $5, which would make it eligible for free shipping (amazon). Might as well take the sharpener.
So basically, I spent 5 minutes shopping for dh - and am done! (Will consider the food processor for his birthday. Better yet - will suggest that one to his mom).
I suppose I should have included BM in the process, but I know he will really like the idea. We will have to talk about it later. I'll ask him what he thinks and steer him in that direction. & if he HATES the idea, I suppose he can buy some stupid trinket for dh. I suppose it is the thought that counts!
I only have one word for this week - CRAZY!
I am actually at work 3 days, but it is filled with meetings and such. I am starting to feel "behind." Ugh. Maybe next week will be normal, though I may take a day off to meet with the Bay Area surgeon, with dh.
My mom's health has been going downhill a bit.
I am not sure how much of this I can take. Both my folks, and dh.
My mom called me yesterday, sounding somber. I asked, "Who is it now?" I figure someone was in the hospital or something. Why not? Why not make it one more person to worry about?
In the end, she had her own rough week, and I wouldn't be surprised if she was holding back since she knows what I time I am having.
I mentioned earlier, this whole trial has been life-affirming on some level.
For all the negative, I am just glad dh can look back so positively on his life. & like I said, he is expected to live, but still, it gets you thinking. Many deep discussions around here of late.
I feel moreso than ever, that we made the best financial choices we could, to move here. I have considered opening a HELOC, if it comes to borrowing money for surgery outside of our insured options. The thing is, we have that option. Back home, we would both be working, and could perhaps have over double the mortgage. (Or just be paying 2-3 times as much to rent). We likely would have much younger children, if any. Putting more important things on hold, for insane cost of living. Are we more glad than ever, that we thought outside the box in that regard.
On the flip side, it has been important to be close to family. We have needed each other a LOT this year. Since we had talked so much about moving out of state, I am glad in the end, we stayed. & yet, moving to our low-cost haven gives us so much more flexibility and financial options, as we face crisis.
My birthday came and went, and I was spoiled rotten.
I also got to see dh's MRI - and it was hard to see. Just, wow! His tumor is quite large.
I have greatly welcomed the chance to return to work and to have other distractions. Phew!!!!! Maybe the timing of all this is a blessing in some regard. Work will keep me busy!
**In financial news, I got our new bank account, in Trust, all set up and funded. Getting 2% on our cash, now.
**I am not sure what our HELOC options are, if so needed. Thing is, it goes against every fiber of our being. But I suppose I could consider up to $250k in loans against our home, to save dh's brain. (Thing is, we never take ANY debt lightly). Leaves us about $40k to borrow ($250 was just the max we said we would ever borrow for a home - we ended up closer to $230k when we bought this house). I am not sure we have the equity to borrow that much though. Lord knows - the market is so wacky here. The thing about this year is just nothing has sold. Nothing has particularly sold less than $300k. But, who knows.
**Last I looked, my perspective was that the school daycare was EXPENSIVE.
I guess perspective changes? It is $6/hour, $24 max a day (holidays and such), AND full-time is about $330 per month. I won't stress about it - easy/convenient/affordable/good option.
These are the kinds of things I am looking at. I guess, trying to prepare for the worst. I hope none of this stuff is really needed, of course.
We've been told that dh could "recover" in 2 weeks. Or he may have balance issues and be unable to drive, for many months. So many unknowns at this point. I am just trying to think ahead and be prepared as possible.
I haven't read the comments on my last blog yet - it's going to be a crazy week.
YEsterday we actually had a pleasant time with MIL. So goes the rollercoaster. I know better than to hand her over our medical record #s, but she may be helpful in the end.
So is today - will see about tomorrow.
I am highly skeptical of the surgeon she wants to do the job. I know he is highly regarded, and was trained by the BEST, etc., etc., etc.
What's the catch? HE seems very EAGER! She has made a billion calls and said he could get in to surgery at our HMO for $10k.
Huh? That's it? I actually had an outside surgeon do a procedure at the same HMO when I was 17. I said, that sounds awfully cheap (for a brain surgeon) as mine cost $10k about 15 years ago, for a jaw surgeon.
She says - oh no - it's a nonprofit organization and blahdeblahdeblah.
I told her that we were not sure our surgeon would do much but supervise. For $10k, is he really going to do anything but watch. Our his stats as good in an unfamiliar environment?
As I tried to ponder why the "best" would be so "affordable" in the end, it all comes back to the economy. Everyone I have seen who openly discussed their experiences online, paid $100k-ish for the shole shebang at THEIR Office. Hospitalization, staff, and everything. Obviously, in the boom, people afforded this with home equity and such.
I can't help but wonder if in this economy, they are a little more desparate for patients with that kind of cash - searching out reasonable options.
So, I couldn't help but feel that now is a good time for brain surgery, in that regard. To us, $10k is nothing. For dh's brain? We've got the cash.
I just found the whole thing interesting.
Anyway, as we are talking in the realm of reasonability, and I can tell MIL about my own experience, we found some middle ground.
Dh is leaning in another direction than we prefer (more risky surgery at small chance of hearing preservation). BUT, it's up to him, I ain't going to push him either way. I suppose I will support him and help keep his mom off his back.
It's ironic, that in all this mess, we are the ones that are being logical and making MIL think through some of her bizarre assertions. But then again, as a mom, I'd probably be overly emotional too.
Which reminds me, a co-worker praised me as being tough and getting through this. She said, "You're not like those other girls we have who cry all the time." LOL. Not sure I agree, but I suppose I can be tough when I need to. IT just struck me as funny. Other people's perceptions can always be interesting.
I have found myself worrying about something like a mile down the road, and keep telling myself to stop it. One day at a time really. IT's the only way to go. That is such a dh thing - he worries about stupid stuff way in the future that will never come to be - constantly. I am glad that in times of crisis, he seems to have put that aside.
I think his personal opinions on treatment will lead him to our covered surgeon anyway. Will see! If so, he can fight it out with his mom.
BTW, by some miracle, when I had surgery, the surgeon ended up doing the entire surgery AND our HMO paid his bill. I don't think we even asked - I think his office asked for reimbursement and got it, by some fluke.
I always figured if I got stuck with some $10k medical bill, I Wouldn't sweat it. Or what are the odds I could be so lucky again? Though I am still a little skeptical about this doc's eagerness, the $10k figure is almost like a "sign" in some regards.
Dh woke up with hearing loss, again, this morning. Ugh!
His appointment was Monday, but I could not make it. We postponed until Tuesday. Regretting that a bit - did not expect he would have issues since it had been 3 years in between his first and last episode. (He lost and regained most hearing, twice). We are starting to wonder if surgery will be rushed to try to preserve hearing. I am not sure how early they could possibly do the surgery. Tuesday seems a million years away.
His family is intent on cashing out retirement to send him to the world-renowned place I mentioned. Ugh, on that.
We did discuss it and I said I could see borrowing the money, because he could return to work and pay it off in a few years' time. Could be worth it. Though, we both are leaning towards sticking close to home and sticking with what is covered. Just thinking to if we are not impressed with our covered options. Of course, the risk is that dh could become disabled, and could not ever work again. Then we are just stuck with a six figure medical bill. I just gotta hope our HMO has good options. I don't really see why they wouldn't...
Of course, MIL said she already talked with this surgeon and he would come up here. This is not anything I have read, and sounded odd to me. I had to wonder if the economy had less people cashing out their savings and left with less equity to borrow with, for this type surgery. (Everything I read was that everyone who could, went for this surgery there. Seems there would be a waiting list of sorts?). If we lived down south it is reasonable we could be referred there. But since we live up North, if we are referred "outside" our HMO, I am sure it would be somewhere up here. Which I think we would prefer anyway.
Just to say, we have gone down the "six figure medical bill" road a bit. Obviously I hope we feel extremely warm and fuzzy about our covered options. Would be a lot easier.
On the flip side, it may be more important to save money to