Keeping an eye on the credit card bill...

It's not a tight budget month, not at all. Quite the contrary. So, trying to squeeze out the $400+ cost of LM's new mattress, out of the budget, without touching savings. Which would go a long way towards "crazy TV purchase of 2010." Dh is now set on a $1500 model. Oy vey. (I did convince him to "wait a few weeks." Which means, I might not need to touch savings for that either - if I can earn any decent overtime).

I find it hard to balance the "prepare for the worst" with the "chill out and enjoy" when it comes to this TV. I think because it's the only thing dh splurges "recklessly" on. Maybe because it is something I would never buy. I was looking at our savings and thinking maybe it wasn't a biggie. But then again, we haven't had a great time lately as far as Murphy - and there is certainly a lot more that can go wrong. But in the end, maybe I should just chill out.

On the flip side, my large purchases are always pushed back into eternity, while he gets constant instant gratification. While I am the one working my butt off for a paycheck. Yes, I told him how I felt about that. I told him my fears for the future and my stress at always putting my needs aside, for his. It is certainly a communication thing. I don't feel my needs are as pressing, and so they just stay in the back of my mind, while he is very vocal about these things. So I spilled my guts and it is what it is.

He told me he envisioned working again in 2 years. I don't really want to push him to work anytime soon. Kinder will be a large transition for us all. I don't think LM will take to it all quite as easy as BM. (Though by 1st grade, I am sure he will be okay with after school care, on occasion, if need be - I think all day Kinder will be enough of an adjustment for this year). BUT, I certainly feel more economic pressure this year than I have in a long while, and appreciate dh being on board. We discussed that he would probably focus on volunteer opportunities once LM starts school in August. He has looked for jobs this last decade - and had applied for MANY. Before the economy had gone bad. Though our cost of living is cheap, and my wage is good, employment has been hard (impossible?) for him to find since moving here (whether it be in his field or a minimum wage job - either has been very elusive - I can't imagine how hard it would be now to find anything). BUT, he wants to put more face time at the public TV station (more weekday time with employees, anyway) and we both had thought that volunteering more at Scholastic (more time to) could possibly lead to a warehouse job there. I don't want him to focus too much on menial jobs, BUT he feels he needs SOMETHING on his resume, and references, etc. Volunteering will certainly yield references, at the least. He had talked to the TV station about jobs many years ago - they just didn't have anything part-time. Now, he probably has to wait out the economy a bit.

The other thing about the TV station is he has met so many people in the film industry, anyway. Another good angle - could get a lead at another job. But the thing about the TV station is it would be his "dream job" in a sense. Maybe not 100% - but it is for a good cause, deals with his favorite subject (TV) and the commute would be stellar (about a mile each way!). He worries about the income, but as long as we don't divorce (no plans to) the income would be just fine as a second income. We got ample life/disability insurance to cover my wage if something happened to me. I thing being happy is worth more than pushing for the big bucks. The thing is my dh is also great at working from the bottom up. Like he won't be running the place in a decade anyway... That's how he has been at any job - started out low and worked his way to the top very rapidly. He just doesn't look good on paper! I am quite confident he can get a decent wage if he just puts the effort into what he loves. The thing is he doesn't need a ridiculously high wage to support his family - as long as I am making the big bucks doing what I love. $20k income sounds DIVINE to me, about now! But I know he can work up to $40k-$50k income, easy. Pursuing what he loves... Which is plenty for us to live on, anyway.

Even if he scores a minimum wage job, the money would be great as a second income, and could mean paying cash for some college training. References and something to put on a resume, are all good outcomes too. I think for once, he has a really good plan. He has just been floundering since graduating college, for the most part. Mostly because he feels he has to do something he hates for big bucks. Volunteering, is a move in quite a different direction. But he has had a chance to show off his smarts and work ethics to some good employers, in the process. That's how he needs to get his foot in the door.

Come to think of it, Scholastic is a good commute too - it's not any farther than a mile, either. It's not like he will have large commuting costs. Another perk!

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Economic forces? In this economy, my pay is not keeping up with medical costs. (We were blessed it had kept up - the last decade - with skyrocketing costs).

Our plan originally, was to get some modest second job with good benefits. BUT, with the events of the last year, I have decided two things. 1 - We want to keep our HMO, if at all possible. No longer willing to settle for less, to save a few bucks. 2 - Considering my parents' melodrama more than our own - I no longer think relying on an employer for benefits is anything more than short-term thinking. Lose your job, get a pre-existing condition = be screwed. Nevermind that.

We have a rather sudden mindshift that our private insurance is worth keeping, indefinitely. A second low paying job would easily cover it - so it's not a huge biggie. (Not going to go bankrupt over it or anything).

The other economic force at play is losing my retirement benefits. Though I expected a temporary reduction in this economy, and a permanent reduction, in the future, I thought I had a little more time, all the same. I had been trying to bulk up other savings in the meantime - but really needed at least another year to get there!

The combination of both these factors mean quite the storm. (Committing 20% of my income to our health, for the long run, and losing 10% of my compensation - ouch).

I suppose on the health insurance - at least we have gotten our money's worth. Would be different to pay a bazillion and never use it.

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Anyway, I got the preschool bill yesterday, and there was mention of spring break in April.

April???

It hit me that we only have to pay this dang bill for about 3 more months. Holy cow!!! I should have been counting down the months.

It's very hard to believe that both kids will be in elementary school come late summer. & that dh is talking about returning to the workforce, now that it won't cost an arm and a leg. (& also because the kids wouldn't even notice if he was working).

The preschool savings is nothing huge, but will be about $150/month. Phew! Enough to make a substantial difference to our savings, all the same.

I can just hardly believe it. Where is the time going?

I was evaluating my overtime and deciding how much I could realistically work the next 6 weeks. I think I will just throw myself into my work. (Dh is doing great this week!). I can't believe that is only 6 more weeks of tax season, as well. The time will FLY - it has been so hectic. That's the thing - I work my butt off this time of year - but the time FLIES and the rest of the year is so slow and leisurely, really. Anyway, I am putting a big weekend in and work, and so should get to it!

Just in my inbox:

"California refunds could be delayed (02-24-10)
The state budget crisis is not yet fixed, and the state's cash flow is dismal. It's too early to tell, but you can't rule out the State Controller delaying income tax refunds or issuing IOUs if California lawmakers don't resolve the budget crisis.
"

The rumblings are starting later than last year, though. & it is still only speculation, at this point.

As for me, I am not owed a refund. In fact, paid in the minimum I had to - just for this reason. But, figured I'd pass along since I have seen the questions around here - about state refunds this year.

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Feeling relieved today. Took the kids for dental cleanings. BM seems extremely cavity prone. So, basically, I hold my breath every time we go to the dentist. Not only for BM, but wondering if LM will develop the same cavity-proneness.

It turns out BM did not have any cavities, and the plaque they had been monitoring had desisted, so no X-rays next time either. (Not sure I agree with this - give the boy X Rays! Beats a surprise of an army of cavities festering all year). But, was all good news, yes.

However, his baby teeth had been falling out, out of order, and as a preventitive measure, they did want to pull a tooth, in an effort to get the teeth growing in the right place. I exclaimed it was already loose, as of a few days - more for BM's sake. I have had teeth removed - baby teeth are easy - and loose ones must be easier. Dentist thought I was fighting her and said, "well, if it come out on its own in a couple weeks." Pfffft. That is not going to happen. Told her I was just glad it was already loose - we will come in for the extraction.

Full price is $200. 10% cash discount. 25% off that for tax deduction. In the end $135 for a little prevention, is no biggie. Not that I really think it will matter. The kids inherited my teeth - so we are screwed. I have been saving for orthodnotia since before they were even born.

I suppose this is why a tooth extraction doesn't bother me as much. Those are given, with my genes!

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I couldn't fit another dentist appointment in BM's or my schedule for another 2 weeks. (To be fair - trying to work around school more than anything!) Lord I hope dh is up to taking him next time. He should feel mighty fine by then.

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Found out my friend's child has a benign brain tumor. THey have been spending the last couple of weeks ruling out cancer. I feel extra grateful we didn't have to go down that route. (They have been meeting with oncologists and getting biopsies in the time frame we were already interviewing surgeons - dh's tumor was so obviously not cancerous).

But yeah, it's like there is something in the water. Yeesh.

As for us, I can't believe we may be putting this chapter behind us, in just a few days. Dh went out for a hair trim yesterday, and his hair is back to all one length. Can still see the scar, but it will be covered up completely in no time. (If he had darker hair - it would probably no longer be visible). His next MRI is in a few days. Hopefully, his final MRI!

**Got to go on a bike ride Sunday. First bike ride of the year! Unfortunately, probably too wet and cold, for a while now, to do again soon. But, it was nice. Extra nice since no one else was out and about. VERY peaceful.

LM is also getting better on his bike. Will be SO nice when LM can ride his bike to school and we can ride bikes to pick up the kids, etc. For now, he still struggles with curb to street/street to curb. BUT was able to ride with him around the block, which was a great improvement. Nice not to run after him all the way - nice to ride alongside. The bike was a bit big for him when we got it, but he grew plenty over the winter - so he is doing better on it. PRobably should raise the seats on both the kids' bikes.

Of course, though dh has been happy with his ancient bike (found in his parents' garage) I think he may be next in line for a "new" bike, soon. Probably new, since Craigslist has had such slim pickings...

**BM went back to school this week, and so commences "crazy." The last couple of days have been okay. By the time I have made him luch and everything, I haven't made it to school early to use the daycare. Maybe later this week. (I can drop him off 1/2 hour early for free - which is what I have been doing). We still have about 15 hours prepaid. Wondering if we will even use it, this year. Though I could really stand to get to work earlier, the truth is I was the one who slept in today. I have been running myself ragged taking care of my family on top of the craziness at work.

**Finally broke out the food processor that we got for dh's birthday. It arrived on the day of his surgery, and has sat in a box, since!

So far, impressed with it. We made some hummus (YUM) and I used it to slice some onions for dinner.

Anyway, dh seems pleased. So that is good. & I have got a chance to try it our - more than usual - since I am the chef in the house, for now.

**We got a hospital bill yesterday. I was scared to look, but it was a whopping $100 for lab work the day before dh's surgery.

The bills will probably dribble in, for eternity. This is just the beginning. But they seem extraordinarily slow on anything over $500. (I'm talking, YEARS). Of course they sent us a bill for lab work - pfffft. & here I am holding my breath for $100-ish bills. Gah.

I told myself that I would take today off. Something I haven't gotten in many weeks...

Then I remember:

1 - We were going to buy an apple tree - and plant it!
2 - I have some spots to clean off the carpet (procrastination has already been done there)
3 - I was going to make dinner
4 - I was going to go to work for a few hours

& on and on and on...

Geez!

In the end, decided to skip work.

Though maybe we will do morning chores and call it a day. I am also thinking of putting off the apple tree purchase another year. February is the month to plant it. This year is just way too crazy though. We haven't removed the stump on our old tree (though small and may be simple). & I really rather do that when dh can help. I don't mind the work - I have issues with the SPIDERS. This is why I do not do yard work!

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All that said, today should be pretty low key, compared to the rest of the week, and I have gotten some time with the kids.

Yesterday I took them to Chuck E Cheese hell - for a birthday party.

You may recall that my kids had their party there. BUT, it was a WEEK NIGHT. It was a very pleasant experience.

We went to a party there one weekend a year or 2 ago, and I would describe it as hell. There was nothing redeeming about it. So, I promised to take them yesterday - hoping to get in and out as fast as possible. It was worse than I remembered. This time was an actual "reserved and "official" party. They churn them out like a factory. They cram you in like sardines. & then they kick you out to make room for the next batch.

Who in their right mind would do this to their poor children?

The best part? We had to buy our own tokens.

Yeah.

Because they wanted us to wait a half hour.

Anyway, I had thought ahead and brought some "just in case." From home. Really did not expect to need them. Thank goodness! Saved me cash or making my kids stand around and do nothing for a 1/2 hour.

I came home and told dh he could take them next time. This monkey mama is never going to Chuck E Cheese on a weekend. Again. Ever.

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When we got home, the weather was gorgeous and the kids were quite upset we left early. I let them play outside though. We put air in the bike tires and LM practiced on the scooter. (We are convinced BM learned how to balance on his bike by learning to balance on his scooter). So, was encouraging very timid LM to TRY the scooter. He runs hot/cold on the bike, but was open to it yesterday.

Today, I need to get air in my tires (they've been sitting in the garage all winter) and BM and I may go for a ride. Though it is a bit cold for my taste. But, it's getting better. It's either that or the gym, for me, today. I haven't gotten to the gym or anything, all week.

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Last night I went grocery shopping with BM. I am not sure I have ever bought so many groceries, in my life! I was telling him how I have never shopped for a whole family before. Strange territory. The timing was good. The place was pretty empty (6pm-ish Saturday).

I had quite a list and called dh about 10 times for directions. (Which ones? Where are they???). But I luckily scored quite a few sale items, and hope I did semi well. Dh is the grocery MASTER.

Since my total was $120, I wasn't feeling thrilled, but dh assured me that I did good. He skimmed the receipt and oohed and aaahed over some of the sales I had scored. I suppose I did okay. BM told me even daddy never buys so much food at once. LOL. Though I do not think this is true.

I did score a quarter off per gallon for my vehicle - haven't had one since dh has been out of commission. Have to spend $100 for that holy grail coupon. Usually dh plans the groceries just so, so we never pay full price for the van's gas.

I had to stock up on a lot of stuff, like tuna and yogurt. Bread, juice, salad.

The menu for the next week (or 2):

**Texas Burgers and seasoned corn (new recipe to try)

**Spaghetti and meat + garlic bread (easy and makes lots of leftovers)

**Burritos (easy and makes lots of leftovers).

**Hummus (we need to try the new food processor - haven't opened it yet).

I also bought some eggs, and would like to make an egg salad. Haven't chosen a recipe yet.

We still have about 4 frozen meals in our fridge, as well. SO, this should carry us through the end of the month. & then some...

Anyway, it feels good to have a PLAN. It's been so hectic and I have been waiting for the weekend to plan some meals, etc. I picked meals I could easily cook after work, but dh said he may be up to helping too. He probably is. He helped us fill tires yesterday and stuff like that. He seems totally fine as long as he doesn't leave the house. Which is awesome that he is feeling as good as he is!

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I snapped my own pictures of spring:





Though, looks like the cold is returning - I ran the heat a bit last night. & the forecast calls for endless rain again.

It was nice to glimpse spring for a bit...

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ETA: Sun came out, its warm, and the little boys and I did a lot of bike riding today. Yay!

**Filed our taxes. Phew! When my $800 Fed refund arrives, I will send it over to the state. Won't bother waiting until 4/15, like usual. Just want it done!

Still have to fund $1080 into a new regular IRA. Goodie goodie - maybe will do when the refund arrives. A chore for March. Don't want to wait too last minute...

**I do admit that all my early bird clients are the ones with the big refunds. They can't wait! Though the refunds have been absurd ($5k-$15k).

I admit a twinge of jealousy.

Then I knocked myself back to reality. I transfer $1200 to my savings every payday. I could let the IRS hold that money for me all year, and forego the 2% interest on my savings account. Sometimes it is easy to be jealous when you focus on a small piece of the pie. The big picture is I'll take my money now, thanks!

**Kids are home and we are back to self sufficiency. Feels kind of good. Though definitely, exhausting!

Though I know most of my friends (SAHM/working mom/every mom) thinks my boss chains me to my desk and my dh never lifts a finger - I am definitely experiencing this reality right now. All I can say is, it sucks! Biggest sacrifice? "Me Time"? Um, no. QUALITY time with my KIDS. I am hoping to spare some time with them this Sunday.

All the same, I can hang for 2 more months. Until work settles down. & I can be thankful that this is only a temporary reality!

It's not just that dh is laid up, or that work is crazy. IT's the combo of the 2!

**Dh is doing pretty good. He is doing good at home, and is doing more than I expect. (He refuses to send the kids to daycare, and I caught him doing dishes last night). He has also cooked a bit. BUT, he is still pretty exhausted when it comes to driving and going out.

I think next week will be good. He will walk BM home from school (if he feels up to it) and will drive a short drive to pick up LM from school (if he feels up to it). I think a regular schedule will help build up his strength. HE did both of these with his mom already, so I know he is up to it.

He does fine with the kids, though MUCH easier with BM in school all day - next week should be better. LEss refereeing, with only one child. & LM is the type who can play quietly for 8 hours. So, he will be fine.

For the long run, I Expect I will be doing a lot of driving, grocery shopping, and errands. Though I guess in 2 more weeks time, he may build a lot of strength. It has still only been 4 weeks.

**A week from Monday is his next MRI and follow up. I can hardly believe it! Right around the corner. Crossing our fingers for some good news. No follow up radiation, would be the best news.

I did some shopping last night. All I need is the internet to do financial damage. Credit card info - memorized!

Anyway, to make a long story short, we tried to hit a few mattress sales this weekend, and failed. I suppose, in this day and age, the true deals are online. (It probably doesn't help that 10,000 small businesses closed in our county, in 2009). You know - those hole in the wall places are impossible to find any more. Our favorite furniture discounter is long gone, etc.

I would like to see and feel a mattress before I buy it. But I haven't seen anything halfway decent for under $1k. I don't think my standards are that high either - just looking for a Twin mattress for my youngest. With the "best sales of the year" winding down, I started looking online, out of frustration.

I struck gold with Overstock.com

$1200-ish mattresses on sale for $450-ish. Big name brands. $2.95 shipping. Unexpected perk - no sales tax. (Though technically, California can come after us for the sales tax - might as well report it - but I have a year to pay that). I also found a $10-off coupon. I stared at the total in disbelief before I clicked "finalize purchase."

So, that whole thing isn't over. Will see when it arrives. BUT, the mattress had excellent reviews, as did Overstock for their mattress selling/shipping. Well, okay then. At this point, I am desparate!

There were a couple of catches. BEsides not getting to see and feel it. (& I suppose if I wasn't so sick of the mattress stores, I could have gone out and looked for one in person, to see, before I committed). Anyway, the mattress did only have a 5-year warranty. Which, actually surprised me. Because we saw some really cheap crap with 3-year-warranties. This mattress appeared to be much higher quality. Anyway, with out eldest, our philosophy was to buy him a "forever" bed. (He actually just has my old "forever" mattress). The thing is, he is a rambuctious boy, and I think we are lucky he hasn't broken it yet!!

So, yeah, I am totally happy, with current cashflow, to go a little cheaper. Maybe LM will get his *forever bed* in a few more years... I am still assuming he gets at least 10 years out of this mattress, all the same.

The other thing is that I know we will just buy a platform bed of some type, eventually. I really just wanted the mattress. But this one came with the boxspring.

I think it works out, because dh has been really against throwing the mattress on the floor. I really wanted to buy a mattress LAST year and to buy a bed this year. With the box spring, maybe he won't freak out too much about LM not sleeping on a REAL bed. Will look more bed-like?

That being said, since we are no longer shopping "forever bed," I am sure we will find something quite frugal in the next few months. I suppose we will shop for a bed and desk set. But if what we want is on the pricey side, we can wait another year or so to get him an actual bed frame.

I suppose we can sell the old toddler bed for $50. That is how much we paid for it used - though it came with a crappy mattress that we switched out for our nice crib mattress.

Good mattresses are so important! So I am crossing my fingers that I didn't make a terrible purchase.

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I shopped around but only bought him a mattress pad, last night. Amazon? Ours is pretty sad (has holes and everything) and found one for $20-ish, so replaced it too.

Will take him shopping for some bedding, though I know we can make do with that too, for now. I REALLY liked a comforter set online for $99. A little pricey for my taste, but maybe I should just get it - since the mattress was a steal. Will wait and see if the mattress is good, and will consider it. (Or wait and see if it goes on sale???) Mattress should arrive in 1-6 weeks!

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I also bought a nice pair of workout shoes at Zappos. It's the only place I can find shoes that fit. Without spending DAYS roaming the stores. I had picked this month to buy since it is a long put off purchase. HAd been waiting for a slow month. Not that this month is ending up a low spend month, but the mattress will come from savings (for much less than I expected), and I've still got room in the budget for shoes. If they fit well, I will immediately buy a second pair. I replace them so slowly, every time I find a good pair, the go out of production buy the time I want to buy them again. I hate that! I have been shoe hoarding of late. It's a perk to having more wiggle room in the budget. Phew! It may be YEARS before I have to shoe shop again.

Don't stone me!

The sun has come out, and it was absolutely "warm" this weekend. I HATE winter, with a passion, and spent most of it wrapped up with dh's medical issues. As things calm down, so has the cold/wet weather. Which is nice. If I could spare 5 minutes to enjoy the outdoors, anyway.

I didn't flip on the heat yesterday because the kids were gone and I figured dh could turn on the heat when he felt like it. He likes it colder than I. To my surprise, the heat was *off* when I Came home for lunch, but the thermostat read 68 (what we usually set it to). I asked him if he had turned on the heat at all, and he said, "IT's not on???"

I forget that we rarely run the heat with the sun out. IT had been gone for so long... But, the nights have been warmer too. I am sure we will have another cold spell before spring, but this is nice. As long as we have sun, no more heat for the house. The energy efficiency takes over & harnesses the sun's warmth.

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I am having a real love/hate relationship with Facebook. I love getting in touch with old friends and having a central place to keep in contact with people. For that, it is worth it.

Everything else is uber obnoxious! Like, if I turned down adding your page to my favorites, 1 million times before, why do you keep sending me a request every day? OMG! (My #1 pet peeve...)

BUT, I appreciated it last night. A good friend that I have grown apart from announced that her young child has a brain tumor. Geez louise! They don't really know much at this point, and the symptoms sound different from what dh had - so probably a different type tumor. But, I am very saddened to see a young child going through all this. & I couldn't help but thing I Wouldn't know this was going on, otherwise. I am hoping it is beningn, and curable without surgery!

My neighbor keeps telling me she knows what we are going through because they have had so many serious medical issues with their son (since birth). Oy vey - it is so much easier dealing with this with a spouse than a child. I just can not imagine having a child going through any of this. I keep telling dh, "no offense - but it's not the same. I'd be a 100% wreck if it was one of the kids." I've only been 50% of a wreck, with dh.

So yeah, my heart is really going out to my friend right now.

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Still feeling a little bad since I had *promised* dh a TV, I asked him why we just do not consider something smaller.

Thing is, the 50-inchers have been at an amazing price point, and why we considered them. But, with flaws in various models, the low price point has vanished. Dh even told me the $1400 one had a *flaw* that he didn't think he was too picky for. (I find that hard to believe - we already have a perfectly great 50-inch that he would be happy to be rid of because of some "invisible flaw."). He did say he wanted to SEE that one before he decided for sure, at least.

BUT, anyway, he tells me, that I confuse him. Because last time *he* suggested to go smaller, I told him not to bother. "Go Big or Go Home." LOL. YEah - last time we were talking about a $200 price difference - might as well get what you want. Since then, finances have changed, and now we are talking a much bigger price gap.

Anyway, I'd rather wait a year and get what we really want, but it's a compromise I can deal with. IT would still be a huge upgrade from our current 32-inch analog TV. & he just can't wait another WEEK even!!!

I am not thrilled to "Settle" for a few hundred dollars, even. But if he goes back to work next year, he can buy whatever the hell he wants, at that point.

Anyway, in the end, if he has to wait 5 minutes, then he can wait a year. No difference to him. (I did say his brain goes out the window when it comes to TV).

So, the new models coming out are much cheaper, and dh wants to wait for the reviews, etc. I think the thing overall is the price point has been low, but so has the quality. I am relieved he is willing to wait, and not settle. I think this is the only thing he is impulsive about. & getting the *right* TV should remove that impuslivity for MANY years. I didn't even ask him to wait very long. I asked, one year? few months? 3 WEEKS???

Well, if he has to wait 3 weeks, might as well salivate over the new models?

But literally, I told him we could go look around at some of the smaller models last might, and in the end he passed. HE is salvating over newer and better, now. & I am grateful for this? LOL. They aren't out in the stores yet, so yeah, peace for me.

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I haven't particularly cared for the Wii, for working out.

But, dh scored a few games that he asked me to try out before he sells. (Came with the Wiis' we bought for our parents).

The boxing one sounds fun, and was a good workout. But, don't think I will see myself using it much.

(Sorry, forget the names!)

The personal trainer one has some potential. That one is pricey and came with all sorts of accessories. Since it came with the Wii and a pile of other games and accessories, was essentially *free.*

The other funny thing is I had kind of written off the Wii as *fad.* I don't know if it's the weather, or dh's surgery, but we have been playing that thing almost every single day lately. We did get a lot of games for Christmas, too. I think they are large improvements over the old ones. (The new games our parents all excited for Wiis, too). Don't get me wrong - the kids play it all the time. But *I* hadn't done any activity games on the Wii, in ages. I suppose it is a good winter toy!

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Last night, dh broke out the frozen brocolli chicken dinner, and so I grabbed hamburger at the store.

To be fair - I tried a bite of the chicken. Blech. He can have it (he knew the kids wouldn't like it either).

I spotted a 1/2 onion leftover in the fridge and so decided at the last minute to spice up my meat. I loosely followed a meatloaf recipe we have. Skipped the eggs and breadcrumbs, but tossed in about 1/4 onion, parsley, salt/pepper, and about 1/8 cup of horseradish. All added to my 1 lb of beef. YUM. Dh took a hamburger when I Wasn't looking - I made them too tasty! I wondered aloud that it was probably too spicy for the kids, but then remembered that they like the meatloaf recipe. I think this is my new "hamburger" recipe.

The ideal was to have the kids picked up and dropped off, fed and cared for by the family all week, and me to work as many hours, for overtime cash, as possible! Talk about a frugal week! (BM has the week off school).

Too good to be true, I suppose. Generosity has run out...

Instead, extended family is still all sick from us (4 weeks ago) and MIL took on another job in the interim. Though she could watch the kids M/T, I wasn't too enthused about the germ exposure, all the same.

Dh watched the kids all day Saturday and has been about 99%. I originally just wanted to cancel the whole thing. But dh was so looking forward to a quiet week. The generosity/care he has received is just not enough. He needs a week to himself, while feeling good. PRetty selfish, in my opinion.

My folks are mostly better, but didn't want to push it by visiting us this weekend and picking up the kids. Against my better judgement, I agreed to take the kids down for M/T, as it is the *end of the world* according to all sides, if the kids can't go down for a few days. Oy vey. I suppose it is the path of least resistance. But I draw the line at making the rest of the family scramble to cover for MIL, while they are still recovering from illness, etc. They may have time to make up at work, etc., too. I know I certainly do.

I could have met MIL halfway, but haven't seen my parents in forever, it feels like. So left around noon, spent a few hours with them, dropped off the kids, and was home by 9pm. What a day...

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I wrinkled up my nose at getting out the frozen meals, with the kids gone, and me perfectly capable of cooking. But, I am starting to think maybe we should just dig in. I could prolong "real grocery shopping" for perhaps another week. Though I think for the most part, those frozen meals will be more useful next week. I told dh I would do a lot of chores and kid chauffering NEXT week, with the kids home and busy with school. But, after that, after his doctor appointment, after the 6-week mark, he is going to have to step it up so I can earn some overtime. I don't mind cutting him some slack, for now. But I know he is capable of watching the kids W/Th/F/Sat. & we can utilize daycare also, so he doesn't push it too much. Might not be the cheapest route, but nice to be able to take care of ourselves, all the same. & to not rely on so much generosity.

So, dh is fat dumb and happy with no responsibilities for 2 days. He is feeling just fine, though not up to a lot of errands/driving.

I would be perfectly happy with daycare options this week, but dh really hates to pay for daycare. I will have to make sure he rests enough and isn't just being *cheap.* It's just his hang up.

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In the meantime, dh is driving me nuts!

Today it's a $1400 TV, and he couldn't possibly wait a couple of weeks to buy it. (Though I promised him a $1k TV - as enticement to fast recovery - I didn't expect our HMO to bill so much so fast. Part of the reason was I thought I could leverage our gift until the bill materialized months/years later. Still may be possible for the balance. But there goes the gift money... We also agreed to a $1k TV. We are rapidly approaching $2k territory with sales taxes and a stand, etc.)

Dh was pissy and exclaimed, "I thought we were saving up for these things!" My reply? Um, I took a possible 10% pay cut by my boss saying he is cutting our retirement benefits - maybe, my overtime bonus is up in the air due to dealing with this and the economy, our medical deductible doubled and we will no doubt use it up all year, and dh just talked me into a major cable/internet upgrade - before all this. HELLO!

So yeah - that's the short version. He is driving me a little nuts.

Dh is ultra conservative and responsible. But in his world, he has always saved 100% of his income. There is some barrier to reality that drives me a little nuts, ever since he has not worked. Though this stuff is a drop in the bucket when mommy pays all of your bills, or when you live on 2 incomes, it's a whole different world on one income. I am frustrated he doesn't seem to *get it,* 8 years later. I don't know how someone so conervative and good with money could be so clueless on some level. But, he has never had to live on a tight budget. It really comes down to that. You could learn it all, and still just be spoiled rotten, on some level.

Anyway, once I laid it out for him, he dropped it. It will be the end of that. I should consider myself lucky. BUT, I just don't understand why I have to lay it out for him, all the same. The medical bills and lost retirement benefit weren't a clue that a $2k purchase would stress me out a bit???

Something about TV, and his brain goes out the window! Egads.

Is it absurd that I feel like I am filing insanely late? I usually have my taxes done before January 31, and file sometime around Feb. 1.

But, life has gotten in the way, and this is my first opportunity to sit down and finalize everything.

I will hold off pushing "send" since I think that I have more charity receipts laying around.

I also need to open a regular IRA to roll my work retirement into. My boss is closing the plan. I just have no idea what I want to invest in. Ugh. But if I open a regular IRA with $1080, this got my taxes down to $0. ($800 refund Feds; $800 due to state). & makes our retirement contributions about 17% for the year. Woohoo. I am contributing for 2009 to get the immediate tax break. That, and I don't need a tax break for 2010 - I have medical bills galore for that...

So, I will just file my taxes with that figure, and pretty much means I should just open a Vanguard fund - since I can invest as little as $1k. I can always change my mind and roll things around, later. I think it's time for me to open a Vanguard account!

I will probably invest this money a tad more conservatively, which I suppose makes sense, since it gets taxed on the back end. LEt all the aggressive stuff be in the ROTHs? Since it shouldn't be taxed again? Will have to ponder it. This will put our ROTHs and regular IRAs at about 50/50. It's been that way for a while, but I haven't had any control over my work retirement before. So, now I have to think about it all a lot harder. It's overwhelming to suddenly be in charge of such a large chunk of change!

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I've got to whip out the kids' returns now. I think part of the reason I like the UGMA accounts for them, is they are well under any taxable limit for now, and I can easily report their (non-taxable) dividends on my tax return.

BUT, their balances grew enough in 2009 that I was able to move them over to some mutual funds with bigger minimums. So, sold their old funds, and triggered capital gains or losses. Not sure which - I haven't looked. Probably losses, after the storm of 2008. So, now I have to file 2 more tax returns. Ugh!

Note to self: Don't trade their mutual funds willy nilly!

I actually just put them in some "Retirement fund" that gets more conservative with time. Putting the target date when they turn 18, or something along those lines. So, I don't foresee a lot of trading anyway.

I think I didn't want to be reponsible for messing up their investments. I just set it to "easy." It's one thing to mess up my own retirement, but their mutual funds are about 99% funded by gifts. I am just playing those safe!

Anyway, all our investments are tax-deferred, or in cash. Their taxes are more complicated. Lucky them!

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In other news, we got the house back to ourselves! It was kind of nice yesterday.

I figured I would work all morning and go check on them at lunch. Considering the last few days, I am sure they will be fine. Though the kids would probably love a trip to the drop-in daycare place, all the same. May do that for dh. I think the gameplan is to try not to expect much of anything from him for 2 more weeks. Next week will be easy with the kids gone. I told him the week after I would drop off BM at before-school daycare to give him a break in the mornings. But, at the 6 week mark, I won't be so nice. I think it is crossing the line to our usual "he is not a morning person" thing. Whereas, I can't work near the overtime if I am getting kids ready and busing them to school, etc. So, I told him I would do everything until his doctor appointment March 1, and then he is going to have to start getting BM to school. He always gripes about it anyway, so I think at this point he is just milking it. But if he is supposed to take it easy for 6 weeks. I won't be so nice once March rolls around and work gets extra crazy!

Details:

FICO - 780

Credit Utilization - 9% - Grade A

On-Time Payments - 100% - Grade A

Average Age of Open Accounts - 3 years - Grade D

Total Accounts - 4 Open/9 closed - Grade D
(1 mortgage + 3 credit cards - soon to be 2 credit cards...)

Hard Credit Inquiries - 1 - Grade B
(Mortgage refi inquiry)

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I only share to re-iterate my griping about credit card myths. (Or, over-simplification of the rules). Dh and I both had scores well over 800 for a time, but this was due to having a traditional auto loan (for one month - but our scores spiked upwards due to that one month loan) and I think also because we had much older mortgages. With the refi, our scores are back to the high 700s. Our current mortgage is only one year old.

Anyway, considering there is no difference between a 780 score or a 850 score, I prefer to just keep things simple and only keep 2 credit cards open at a time. PArticularly after my ID theft. I don't like the idea of more cards open that can be breached - and that I might not even notice...

Anyway, I share to say that obviously, length of credit and number/type of accounts, are really the lowest part of your credit score. Have you ever applied for a loan with a credit score over 750? Lenders salivate over that.

I also can not find the answer to this anywhere - but recently learned that good credit stays on your credit report for 10 years. I did not know this, but makes sense since absolutely nothing has dropped off my credit report, ever. Some of my first credit lines were closed a decade ago though. Our very first mortgage ever will drop off soon, too. I just wonder if that info factors into your score somehow. The reality is that I have almost 17 years of good credit reporting on my actual credit report. I can't find anything that says whether that counts toward your FICO or not. Maybe, no one knows for sure. But I Don't see why it wouldn't. I mean, can you really get an excellent FICO rating with only "3 years of credit history"? Hmmmm.

Anyway, I know credit card companies are going to be re-introducing annual fees, people will be asking in the forums if they should keep their cards, and everyone will say, "YEs - you have to for a good FICO score." That just drives me nuts!

More rain here. Though overall, looks like our nice sunny weather is starting to return. I saw lots of sun in the forecast. Thank goodness!

We do need rain, but considering how full all the rivers and resorviors are, well, we don't need it all at once!

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I got an e-mail from another parent with a list of names of children in BM's classroom and a reminder to give everyone a valentine card. Ugh! Just what I need.

Funny thing is when I got home, MIL told me that I had already bought some. "Huh?" BM and dh both told her. I saw them sitting out later and realized what they were talking about. We had bought the really flashy ones on sale after Valentines, last year. I forgot, but BM remembered? Just, funny.

So, the kids are set. Grandma can help them put them together tomorrow.

AND, I suppose I should go stock up on some more after Valentines Day, again.

More, making it look like I spent a fortune when I didn't...

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Funny conversation on the radio about Valnetine's Day. A debate how all women really want flowers and gifts and are lying if they say they don't. Hell, V-Day could have come and went without me noticing, but for the kids.

I think the thing for me, is that it is nice when dh surprises me with a gift, yes. Which is kind of why I am not into the "giving a gift" to each other every flipping holiday. It's nicer when it's just a random surprise. Those are nice. But feeling obligated to "buy something" 12 times a year is just ridiculous. We aren't big consumers, so it just isn't our thing.

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This week is an easy no-spend week. Gased up the cars and stocked up on food and cooked over the weekend. SO, I don't foresee any spending for another week. Even the V-Day cards are taken care of...

I haven't had the urge to eat out, one little teeny tiny bit. I think with all the frozen meals given to us, we just have such a wide variety of food to choose from at home. More than usual. Coupled with the fact that dh is mostly bed ridden still... I suppose I could get the urge to take the kids out, but I have been working so much, I rather spend some time with dh then ditch him for some greasy food.

Since MIL has refused to cook anything we have ingredients for (I Don't quite get), I did end up cooking everything up this weekend. I am exhausted, but still appreciate her help, regardless. Some things have been a little frustrating, but it's hard to complain about someone who has dropped everything for 3 weeks to take care of dh and the kids. Anyway, dh seems to have perked up a bit to have some "Real food." The good home cooking he is used to! Which I suppose is the other thing - dh rather have a nice 15-minute meal at home than some take out. IT's not really that inconvenient. In the end I only spent about 2 hours cooking (4 meals) this weekend. I am just trying to get dh well - so eating in 100%, it is.

I suppose if dh returns to work that we will be more likely to employ this method - to cook all the meals for the week on Sunday night. I was able to squeeze it all in the fridge. A couple of hours of cooking was no biggie. We could certainly all chip in when dh is well, too. (& in the end, most of the stuff we cook is pretty easy and fast). I just often wonder how committed we will be to home cooking if we both worked. I am starting to think it's not that big of a deal - has become habit over the last decade.

I am exhausted, indeed, but I am playing much more "single mom" than "2-income household" with dh unable to help with anything.

What a Day!

Been on go-go-go mode all day, but for an hour of quiet time I demanded from 2-3 pm today.

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This morning I took dh's car with the intent to fill it up with gas. Was going to hit the regular gas station on the way home, but had a 1/2 hour to kill between when aerobics ended and when the bread store opened. Decided to get gas.

Bad idea!!!

I didn't want to drive to far, but utilized the GPS to find something. Not much I recognized, but for a 76. Decided to go thinking maybe that was a cheaper gas station. Price was $3.05, but lord knows the last time I got any gas (it's been weeks). I thought, "yuck," but figured that was the going rate.

To my dismay, I drove past a Chevron later with the price of $2.93. Usually Chevron is the worst, so I wasn't too happy about that. I also found a Valero closer to the bread store. To remember for next time...

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I took the van shopping later and filled it up too. The gas light turned on both the vehicles, just as I approached the gas station. How's that for timing?

I felt that dh's car has been getting terrible gas mileage, but he doesn't agree. !!! Will see... I have never had to fill it up below 300 miles (10 gallon tank). But now it is twice in a row around 270. I suppose it's not a huge difference. This time bothered me more because I have only been driving freeway with it. We can push it 400 miles on the freeway. Ugh. Not that I drove it that much freeway - getting 400 miles form one tank only happens with big trips. But I am not thrilled to see the gas mileage drop either. I have no idea what that could signify (maybe someone has an idea of what would cause reduced mileage?). We had a service in between the 2 bad runs, so I can't say it's anything simple like oil or air filter - it didn't make any difference.

Anyway, used up our last grocery coupon - so filled the van with $2.60 per gallon. Phew!

We won't spend enough on groceries any time soon to get another gas coupon, but we haven't been driving much anyway. When dh is up to driving he will be up to bigger grocery runs. Need to spend $50 or $100 for the grocery store's gas coupons. I suppose it will work out. Heck, I'd have one more coupon but he gave it to his mom. Fair enough.

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Later in the day I took the kids shopping.

At Target I got toothpaste with a $1.50-off coupon. I also stocked up on some pepsi, and bought a toy for the birthday boy. We had bought 3 of these pirate ships for like 75% off from Amazon a while back, and debated giving one of them to our neighbor at his party today. BUT, was already earmarked for other people, so I finally decided to go find something.

Struck gold with a super hero transformer toy thing. $30 full price - but on clearance for 1/2 off. Feel like we are on a roll. I love buying gifts that look way more expensive than they are.

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WE also picked up some groceries. Not all the thought, planning, and couponing that dh always puts into it. But I did go for the "old meat" that was 50 cents off (I am cooking it all this weekend anyway) and lucked out with a few sales. Phew.

I mostly got tomato sauce and meat. We didn't really need much - and I already stocked up on bread today...

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I suppose my only frugal failure was that expensive gas. Ugh. Live and learn.

Today was a Hallelujah day.

Since no work this weekend, I decided to run to aerobics early in the morning. Dh felt up to giving it a try. (& when I got home, still seemed okay - kids didn't push him too hard). Hallelujah!

Oh - was going to run to the store, but his mom offered. I said, "okay," since I was so tired, anyway. Didn't think twice about it. Came home to some weird hamburger buns! Ugh. In the end, they didn't taste so bad, but the kids whined the whole time, and then dh whined when she left. Oy vey.

SO, I told dh *I* would do all the grocery shopping from now on. LOL. I didn't think about it at the time - lord knows why. I already told you about her interesting grocery choices.

SO, I told dh I was going to run out and get some normal bread, since she bought the god awful sandwich bread again (not quite sure what it is - but it tastes terrible!).

& dh, being well rested, asked why I didn't just run to the bread store. Doh!

I suppose it works out that the bread store is by my aerobics class. I hadn't been there in ages, and I only stock up on the bread (& cookies and donuts) when I am working out.

They were clearing out some Holiday cookies, so grabbed some of those, and some donuts, for work. Seems to be a good compromise. I can eat one or 2 cookies or donuts, but don't get stuck with the whole thing. For a buck a piece, it creates much fellow employee goodwill.

Of course, then I spotted the iced oatmeal cookies. YUM!

Then, got some tortillas for a buck, and some free bread. I am up to "2 free items" again.

So, was nice to get some "normal food," and I feel so much more relaxed having been able to go to aerobics/yoga. I snuck off to the gym once this week too (with the kids), so has been a good week. There is no gym daycare tomorrow, but may drop the kids off at the drop-in childcare place for a bit so that I can go to the gym. They better get used to it anyway.

I did so much walking at the hospital that I figure I really only had one week of NO EXERCISE. The week I was sick anyway. Phew... Feels good to get back into the swing of things - it really helps my stress level. Most people may hit the gym to lose weight or stay fit - but I do it to stay SANE!

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I am planning to cook 3-4 meals this weekend, so I better get cooking...

Because it's not challenging? I will eat in 28 days, easy, this month. So again, not really playing along. (Not tracking things that I would do regardless - no real benefit for me).

But I didn't post this just to be snotty. I did want to say that I think Fern's challenges are GREAT! & I do look forward to see what is next. I think it's realistic to try to set a new frugal goal every month (or every few months, or year, etc., etc). Once you master one frugal habit, it is time to acquire another. This is what I like about the challenge - focusing on some new frugal habits every month.

I am just a very "one at a time" person. So the approach appeals to me. I can only make one life altering change at a time, personally. Not like I can make 20 goals in one year and do well at any of them. I'd rather just set one new goal every year - slow and steady wins the race.

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I redeemed another $250 from Chase. I suppose this means I will remain a Chase customer for a while longer.

Sad thing is with all the medical bills this month, I am almost a quarter of a way to another $250, already. Yikes!

Dh already sold off $50 in Wii accessories, so between the 2 windfalls, that recoups the $300 Wii we bought for his mom. (He's got another $50 or so of unwanted games to sell, too, from the purchase).

I was going to use the $250 reward check for taxes, but since I am opening a regular IRA in the end (for work reasons), I whittled my tax liability down to $0.

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This weekend I need to gas up the cars (haven't for weeks?), get some groceries, and buy a birthday present. I rarely buy anything, and since dh is laid up, it has been a long no-spend record.

His mom has been driving the kids to/fro school (& has been picking up things like milk/bread/fruit). I suppose dh does more driving than I realize - since I find it unreal I haven't gotten gas in so long!

& I don't need much from the store - some toothpaste and some salad? Dh already bought food (in January) for 4 meals I need to cook this weekend.

I suppose it is possible that we will save a large chunk on groceries and gas this month. Then again - will probably end up going to childcare. So maybe it will even out. But the expenses have been much more manageable than I imagined. Phew. I suppose March may shift the other way. Will see...

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Oh yeah - don't remember why but applied for some Transunion Settlement about 2 years ago??????? I saw my receipt rather recently and rolled my eyes about how I never heard anything.

Anyway, today I was able to redeem the settlement - 9 months of credit monitoring. OF course, due to the ID Theft Alert on my credit, they have to mail me some code.

In the interim, I had actually signed up for Credit Karma. It is free and gives me enough information to know if something isn't quite right. (Has a FAKO score, and tells you how many accounts you have, inquiries, etc. Any change to these numbers and they send me an alert. Which is better than nothing - and much better than waiting to check once every 4 months). So, I have enjoyed that free service. I keep forgetting to mention.

I had signed up dh for the settlement too (& Credit Karma), but I think we have switched e-mails so many times since, not sure he will be able to redeem his so easily. I just got an e-mail notification to an old e-mail I still use. I'll have to tell him to keep an eye out for it, and that it is legit.

I suppose it's been a bit busy, though I am still recovering more than anything. No infection. I did tell dh that I have sympathy ear pains (I can't hear out my right ear most days - same as his bad right ear). He doesn't like that though. I suppose since mine is just temporary. But really, what are the odds?

Doctor said that I may be like this a few weeks. Goodie!

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MIL and I have not killed each other yet. In fact, the weeks have been flying by - even when I was home sick most of last week. This week faster I suppose, as I try to dig myself out of this hole at work. Ugh!!! I can't work this weekend since the office is being cleaned. I certainly don't mind, but am a little frustrated since my weekend childcare may dry up after this point. MIL has been here the last 2 weekends, but last weekend I Was sick, etc., so didn't work. On the flip side, it's been nice to rest and get over this evil virus.

I did take the kids to the drop-in place Sunday, so I could get more rest (& MIL too). I was relieved to see it was open. Heck, it was hopping. Lucky they didn't turn us away. Dh and I were discussing, and I can maybe pay for 4 hours care, and then bring them home and let them watch a movie or do something low key for a couple of hours. The daycare is expensive, but the overtime should more than cover it. Will be nice to have options, though we have had daycare offers, and I will take those too. (Mostly people apologetic that they can only help on the weekends. Um, I will take it??? That's when I really need help, with busy season and all).

The reason MIL and I haven't killed each other though, is she has been sleeping at a hotel room. I think the space has made it bearable. For me, anyway. I am not home all the time, like the rest of them...

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I haven't offered MIL any money for gas or food (she has done some grocery runs) because I know she would refust. Trust me, she'd REFUSE.

BUT, dh ended up buying a Wii for her the other day. She was going to reimburse us. Paid $300, but expects $100 back from selling off games and accessories. IT cost more than my mom's, but MIL Wanted a balance board.

We had gifted my mom's since it was closer to $150-ish in the end. We don't do many big gifts for them. They certainly treat us well enough.

So, I told dh last night to just give the thing to his mom. I think it works out. Might be an even trade with gas and groceries and EVERYTHING for her 4 weeks helping us. We have certainly saved tons more with her help and not having to hire more help.

& now the kids are ultra spoiled. Wii at both grandparent's house!!!!!

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I may luck out and get my $250 Chase Freedom rewards, another time. The day to redeem should be tomorrow. Woohoo! I told dh that we could just use the check to pay for the Wii.

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I suppose I have a huge *to do* list for the weekend. Besides tons of cooking, I need to get our taxes finalized. Since the kids had some mutual fund sales, I think I have to file their taxes separate. Blech. I probably won't get a chance to file until the following weekend. (At work, but not on work time - why the weekend will have to do). But I need to print out all the final numbers for our deductions, from Quicken, etc.

I need to open a regular IRA for my retirement rollover, and stuff like that.

& maybe I will get around to posting my January numbers. January was kind of *normal* with some extra gas, hotel, and HUGE medical expenses thrown in. I think February will be kind of low key and non-spendy since it's a short month and we only have full charge of the kids for one week.

Since our HMO historically has taken many years to bill things (if ever getting around to it - still some outstanding bills from years back) then I think our cash position will get pretty strong this year. Phew! Cash is doing good right now. Childcare will cut into my overtime pretty severely this year ( & even moreso - lack of doing overtime due to home duties). BUT, I can't help but wonder if it would be a lean overtime year this year, anyway. Seems the economy is affecting my boss a bit this year. Maybe this is a good year to cut back. May find out on April 15th there is no overtime bonus. Who knows...

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I suppose I didn't say specifically - but dh is still recovering very rapidly. He's doing great!

I popped some advil and went back to sleep last night. Wouldn't you know, my ear feels fine now? BUT, I do have a doctor appointment late in the day. Guess they were slammed - lucky to get in at all. Would just figure if it's all cleared up by then. Either that - or should I call advil the miracle cure? I assumed it would help with both the pain and swelling. I suppose they say like 25% of all infections are viral anyway. If all I have to do is sleep sitting up... I have been fine since getting up this morning.

Will see what the doc says. I am wearing a face mask to the doctor's office - that is for sure. & will wash my hands thoroughly on my way out. Sometimes it feels like a vicous cycle. I always seem to pick up something at the hospital, etc.

That being said, I haven't seen my doctor since 2005. I remember because I thought I had a bladder infection right after giving birth. I remember not liking the doctor, and I never switched. I am stuck with him today. He was fine - just an older male, hard to understand. Wanted a female at the least. I will put that on my to do list, and feel lucky to see any doctor, today.

I will laugh if it is a false alarm - since last time was. I generally don't get infections, period. If I feel one coming gone, it's gone by the time I get to the doctor. Was last time, anyway. Feels the same this time.

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I peeked at the credit card. Ugh! Not sure why it was so high. Then I thought through all the stocking up that dh did these last weeks.

Then again, lots of medical charges too. Pretty much all there was since the weekend. Pharmacy, pharmacy, pharmacy. Doctor appointment, doctor appointment, doctor appointment. Repeat repeat repeat.

I decided that by the time I transferred all the medical portion from "medical savings" I Was about breakeven for the month. I do have 5 more days until my credit card closes, but the cars are gassed up and the house is FILLED with food. & we all feel too crappy to do anything but stay home. I see an easy No-Spend-Week ahead.

I suppose that has been another cost savings - with MIL driving the kids around and such. Being home sick from work too - means no gas being bought.

I do have to run and get some normal bread while I am out. MIL has been torturing the kids with some god awful whole wheat bread. They don't mind wheat bread - just not the really intense wheat stuff. I had heard children don't digest it as well. So, will get them (& me) some normal bread. As I choked down the bread yesterday I decided I had bigger things to worry about. Had to suck it up. But I look forward to filling the house back up with normal food... In the end, this may be my biggest complaint about MIL. We are just kind of middle of the road/moderation types. & the fact is, compared to the average American, we eat EXTREMELY well. MIL is a health nut/health fad type. So it's kind of scary to see our cabinets filling up with her weird crap. I must save the children! LOL. I mean - if I could sum up her philosophy - "if it doesn't taste like sand, it's not good for you." That's how I would qualify it. Plus, not a fan of artificial sweeteners, artificial butter, and stuff like that. I'd rather just have a conservative helping of the real stuff. Yeah, that's where I draw the line. At least we have plenty of BUTTER. LOL. Reminds me, I should buy some mayo while I am out. Ugh, last time she bought me mayo it was awful. We suffered through it rather than toss it. I can't do that again... This time will send her home with her nasty food.

& really, it's one thing if she thinks the adults should eat like this. But the kids have extremely high metabolisms. I mean - they need some fat in their diet!!! & Some sugar??? Though I got to hand it to them - the kids are good sports...

You may think I disappeared because life is crazy, but really I am just sicker than a dog. The "life is crazy" part is not helping though. I went into work this morning because I had pressing deadlines. I'm not good at asking for help, generally, but have been good these last weeks. Still, some of it needed to be directed by me. I delegated the rest. In the end, it felt good to be up and about. I may go to work tomorrow for 4 hours, even if I feel like hell still. Was good medicine.

I walked BM home from school yesterday thinking the exercise would help. Instead, I think the unusual cold made me worse. Was freezing... (I had noticed, fresh air walks to/fro the car helped my sinuses while at the hospital. I guess not so much with longer walks to school in cooler weather...)

Today I did see some sun, and not so much rain. Was nice!!

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How is this for money karma? Received $2k for medical bills. Mostly from MIL who thinks we are "hard up" on some insane level. BUT, the fam did pool their resources for a nice gift. It is what I suggested since a couple of other relatives did want to spend $400-ish on a gift that wouldn't have been used. I did tell her we need cash more than anything. (If they refused to buy the more modest gifts I suggested, anyway). Though entertainment for the hospital was a nice gesture, he wouldn't have been up to it - he was mostly a lifeless lump.

So - came home - and found a $2k charge on my card, from the hospital. Money karma in action! I deposited the check today and will send it to the card when it clears. (It was the first time they put a hold on a deposit - was kind of odd - but whatever).

The truth is I expect to pay our $6k out-of-pocket this year. It just may take some years to bill. If the past is any indication...

Ironically, I swear the hospital told us the deposit would be $300, and they asked us if we would need help paying for it, etc. To be fair, dh heard, "$300 per day." Regardless, neither of those figures added up to anywhere near $2k. I love how they just charged the card without telling us what it was going to be. I suppose I should have asked upon release. But why do you ask someone if they can afford $300? & then charge them $2k? !!

Since we already have the medical cash, will probably put $1k to open a regular IRA (need one to roll my profit sharing into) and will probably invest in a bed for LM. Dh wants the TV, of course, but I think that may be on hold due to his medical status.

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As somewhat expected, it also hasn't been very spendy here. My parents and in-laws fed me most the time dh was in the hospital. I did spend a LOT on gas and all. But, food has been well taken care of here. I will offer MIL cash for the next grocery run (she shopped today) but not sure she will take it. I'd give her a check if I thought she would cash it...

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Yesterday, I had some time to look up some of dh's issues, and was disappointed to see some of it could be permanent. The double vision is common, but could be an issue forever. I am fretting a bit if he will be able to drive again, for a long time. The nurses/docs, just said it would get better. Though that will most likely improve, a lot of people say they have double vision YEARS later, with fatigue, too much computer time, lots of reading, etc. Will have to discuss his options with the doctor. He is wearing an eye patch for now, but don't think that is a safe way to drive. Anyway, overall, maybe months to a couple of years. Yikes!

Also, was disappointed to see that his mouth/jaw numbness may also last months/years, and will very likely be permanent. !!! Being a bit of a foodie, I can hardly imagine anything worse. Though I am sure he will adjust.

For now, he doesn't know any better, and tells me both are improving a little each day. I will cross my fingers for that. In the interim, he escaped from so many other bad outcomes, but it's still hard to accept that this may be what he is left with. *sigh*

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The MIL situation is okay. She drove me a little nuts, and is the reason I am sick again (unnecessary stress). But, overall, since she has been home with us, she has chilled out a bit. So, all I can say is, Phew! Until the next drama, anyway.

That's all I have time to say for now. But it feels GOOD to be home!

Enjoying a little peace before the kids and MIL arrive. Any minute...

I already went grocery shopping (for soft food) and made some soup. Getting very domestic!

& the kids have pink eye... I am so sick of hospitals. I have spent about 2 hours sitting in 3 different pharmacies the last couple of days. Of course the hospital where dh was didn't have an open pharmacy (for the kids' prescriptions).

& um, it hasn't stopped raining all week, pretty much. Not sure I have ever seen the rivers so full, etc. Hopefully the rain stops soon... Relieved to see our house above ground (& not under water!), when we got home. Hope it stays that way!

P.S. He is definitely deaf in the one ear. But, no surprise. He is lucky that is really the only sacrifice for the surgery...

It felt like this day would never arrive, as we have been anxiously waiting.

Surgery went better than expected. Can we call my dh "miracle boy," or what?

Wednesday was a whirlwind of medical appointments and tests. We met briefly with the surgeon, who told us that he may leave up to 50% of the tumor, in a futile attempt to save dh's stereo hearing. He said he had never saved hearing with such a large tumor before (ever), BUT that it is extremely rare that any one with this type tumor has much hearing to begin with. The fact that dh lost his hearing only temporarily twice, is no less than miracle. Usually, once it's gone, it's gone.

Oh yes - let me back up - the weather here is CRAZY. It is also a miracle we made it to the Bay Area in one piece. Egads, what a week it has been. We drove through some terrible rain, saw some amazing rainbows, and somehow managed to miss every lightning storm with all our driving. We also have sat in a lot of homes without electricity. The hotel and the hospital have been a nice change of pace, with electricity and all.

So, back to surgery (it's been a LONG day!!!)

It was a whole day affair, though the actual cutting and stitching was about 6 hours. Was at the hospital over 12 hours, though.

We were all stunned when the surgeon walked out and said that 95% of the tumor had been removed. Too early to tell, I suppose, but he said that radiation may not be necessary after all. That, I never expected. He said his hearing seemed okay, but they never know. The truth is it would be a miracle.

Dh was pretty insistent when he woke up, that he see me. The first thing he told me was that he couldn't hear (out of one side). I told him 95% of the tumor was gone, and he seemed relieved. I think we had more second thoughts at the last minute. Truth is, how would he feel with 50% of the tumor still in there, and no hearing? Which in the end was a likely scenario. I am so relieved we don't have to live with that. It was never raised as an option that we would skip radiation. It is amazing.

I do admit, that I hold some hope on the hearing. He's got it back before. What about when all the swelling goes down? Even a little bit means a simple hearing aid as opposed to more expensive hearing procedures/devices. Will see...

Facial paralysis was another biggie. Doctor said the tumor was most entwined with the facial sensory nerve. Which had really been his only symptom (numb face) besides hearing that came and went. In the end, he asked if his face was droopy. It looked a tad droopy, though I don't think I would have noticed otherwise. He has a beard which I think hides it. His eyes and cheeks seems fine, we only really noticed his lips being a little lax. Regardless, the surgeon felt his facial nerve was fine, and temporary facial weakness is expected. Paralysis is pretty rare. Not a lot of worries there. Clearly he wasn't paralyzed...

Dh looked amazing! Everyone warned me about how terrible he would look, etc.

Is that it? But for the bandaging, you'd never guess he had brain surgery. He was obviously doing quite well.

All along they told us he would get a private room, probably. Which surprised me as we were in an old hospital. In the end, they were wrong. I was rather relieved. The nurse said she would be in the room all night, waking him every hour to check his vitals, etc. I was so relieved to come to my hotel and rest. I couldn't stay over since he didn't have a private room. (Bummer - not?) He won't remember anything. Well, so they say. He seemed amazingly alert. Not "too" loopy? Though admittedly, loopy!

Tomorrow night he may get a private room, and that may be nice. When he gets out of ICU. He may go home Saturday or Sunday - is that absurd?

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Anyway, I suppose we already knew, but there is nothing more important than friends and family. Times like these you just kind of get that kick in the butt. This week has been made bearable by the love of friends and family.

I know MIL was set on this clinic in LA, but I think being so close to our family has been FAR more important. & let's face it, the doctor we decided on kicked butt! I can't tell you how relieved we are today that we didn't fall for the LA hype. I had reservations all along about the logistics of all that. It wasn't a sole reason to not go there, but I have to kind of say, "I was right!" I was so annoyed that MIL was writing off places like Stanford, for LA. I couldn't understand why looking in our own backyard (with AMAZING medical facilities) wouldn't be a priority. All we have heard all week is how our HMO has the best neurosurgery facility in Northern California, and how our surgeon is one of the best in the world. & we have been justifying our choice all along. What sweet revenge today was. Though maybe the best thing is that all our family is here, too. It just is kind of the icing on the cake. I never imagined that today could "fly by," but it kind of did with all the support we had.

Anyway, this is really just the beginning, on some level. But, I think it's a good start. I am wishing dh a very speedy recovery!

I am SO procrastinating here.

If you scroll to my last post, I had some thoughts on home ownership. FYI to anyone interested.

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Anyway, dh's family is very dramatic. I heard rumor that a very close relative is convinced he will die! (While, a VERY religous relative, and a psychic, had visions he would be just fine!). Anyway, when I heard this, I did tell dh. Just as a heads up. For this particular relative, seemed more than a fear than anything. (They didn't tell me why he had this fear. If there was a "vision" - no one told me about that part). So anyway, dh and I discussed how driving to the surgery would probably be more dangerous.

I only share for the back story... (We all know that we have a ball of crazy to deal with there).

Um, I wasn't tempting fate or anything with that sentiment!

BUT, yesterday, my mom tells me some crazy storm is coming in all week, and to bring my umbrella, etc. SO, I look up the weather, and see that it will be really stormy all next week, the WORST of it being the night we drive down to the Bay Area. Plus, it's no small trek from the family's houses to the hospital, anyway. Will be doing lots of driving in the rain.

But anyway, driving in some torrential rain storm, in the dark, doesn't sound appealing. I will keep an eye on it, but I think I will bust my butt at work tomorrow, in case we decide to cut out early and get some daylight driving in. Hell, we might have to pull BM out of school. Maybe just get all packed up and leave at 3:30. Should get there by dark?

Regardless, will monitor it all. The forecast is never right on, anyway. IDeally the worst will pass before we hit the road. Just one more thing. Like we need one more thing!

(Just read - worst storm in a decade. Great!)

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Yesterday I was pretty lazy. I filed some statements away, because MIL is nosy. Kind of just put away things I didn't want her to see laying around.

I did make fudge for dh, on a whim. (For me and dh, I should say). HE seemed to like it so much last time - that took a whopping 5 minutes.

Finished a movie I had fallen asleep during...

Took out some trash.

I suppose I wasn't totally useless, but in the end, kind of hit a wall. Didn't help that dh and the kids were JUST starting to pick up when I got home from work. Not very helpful. I had expected them to do more while I was gone. But, what else is new?

Dh did get his oil changed (turned out, was due - we had a good coupon), and picked up some more groceries.

Oh - and we did clear out the freezer. I threw away a lot of frozen fruits for smoothies. They may have been okay, but we needed to clear some room out for frozen dinners and such. The freezer wasn't too bad otherwise - I had a lot of nuts in there - lord knows how old. Threw those away too.

At the least, I want to vacuum the floors and scrub the toilets. I suppose that will be my task for today. I also want to clean the cat litter box. I rarely just empty it out and scrub it down. It is LONG overdue. So, it's not really necessary at all, but as I look critically at the house, it just nags at me a bit. On some level, probably not something that should be put off longer. NEcessary in that sense. If it doesn't get done now...

I am probably going to come up with a chore list. As structured/organized as I am when it comes to finances, I am the complete opposite when it comes to housework. I just don't care that much about most housework? BUT, I don't want to wake up Thursday morning and have no clean underwear. Or forget to change the cat litter in all the fray. Stuff like that. I figured I better make a list. Not that I have to stick to the list, but to break things out by day and have a little "reminder list." Like a reminder to check the laundry status mid-week, and the grocery status, etc., etc. This is just stuff I would never think of otherwise. & the usual - "wait until the weekend to do it all," probably won't fly so well!

Having graduated college in 1999, it's been interesting. I'd consider myself an adult long before that, but only since 1999 have I been investing in real estate and the stock market. Thus, my only experience in those things is during the "lost decade." & what a decade it was!

I guess it's extra interesting since the dot com bust was in my backyard, as was one of the biggest housing bubbles in the country. I have always had a lot of extra insight to all this as I watched it unfold before my very eyes. (I know a lot of people in the world weren't quite aware of all the insane borrowing going on around here, etc. & in the end both collapses had worldwide effects).

Anyway, as our 10-year anniversary of home ownership passes, I was reflecting a bit on it.

The wisest advice I can give people is to not give into the hype. It's kind of funny, but everything I hear about housing TODAY is everything I have been hearing the last decade. Nothing really changes. We have had the luck to be homeowners in a most volatile real estate market decade. In 1999 people were saying the exact same things as they are today. Mainly, "If I don't buy now, I will never be able to!!!!" Irony is that I have heard the same frantic statement every year for the last decade. On the way up and on the way down - it's all the same.

I suppose it's a lot like the stock market. You can't time the market. You just have to buy when it makes sense for you. & make it a fiscal decision, not an emotional one. What's the point of "buying now because it's my last chance," if you can't afford it and end in foreclosure.

Another juicy tidbit I heard up until 2008, I suppose, was that it was stupid to pay down our house. (Told to me by people with multiple homes and ARMs, who eventually lost all their houses to foreclosure. Not surprisingly!). As our house value falls to about the price we paid for it, I am relieved it has another $90k to go before we hit "upside down." & though we put a fair amount down, I understand the sentiment not to put too much into your house early on. I understand inflation and all that. BUT I am talking people who thought have a fixed rate mortgage was stupid. (Not even getting into large down payments, 15-year loans and extra principle payments). I remember people telling me I was stupid, and me wondering what planet THEY were from! (Stupid because I want to pay off my house some day? BEcause I am locking in the lowest mortgage rates of the century?)

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Anyway, when I think back it is kind of funny since dh and I were so young and naive when we bought our first home. Some smarts and good financial advice helped us through though.

As was the entire last decade, we decided to buy in an extremely volatile market. I would have never bought a home if not for dh. Living near San francisco the prices of homes were absurd in 1999. It was somewhere near the end of college that dh told me he didn't want to get married until we bought a home. I had actually been waiting 4 years, to finish college, to turn my engagement ring into a wedding ring. When he first told me this, I thought he was stalling. I REALLY thought he was insane. Who can own a flipping home here, right out of college? What is he thinking?

In the end, it wasn't a stall tactic. Since my family had come from more reasonably priced areas, we had never really heard of the "start with a condo and move up to house" strategy. So dh told me we should buy a condo. At first, still thought he was crazy. But I did my homework. At the time, the cheapest house we could probably find was about $500k, whereas nice condos were to be had for as little as $150k. & when we did the math, it made sense. I Was renting a room (had roommates) for $400/month. Dh was living at home. Thing was, we couldn't get our own place for less than $1k per month. PRobably would cost more if we wanted anything safe and decent. When you run the numbers, condos were far cheaper. & this is somewhere we grew up and intended to stay forever. No doubt about it.

There was just one problem. Though the asking prices looked okay, all condos were selling in minutes with up to 6-figure over-bids. Condos and town houses were appreciating FASTER than houses, which was a selling point to me (my parents were wary if we wanted to invest in a condo, but the region was unique enough to make sense). So yeah, honestly, I didn't think we would be buying a condo anytime soon. I had heard the horror stories from the trenches.

The next part of my story is why I would never do a real estate transaction without a GOOD realtor. A relative referred a realtor who was worth her weight in gold. She had a lot of insights into some of the better neighborhoods, and some of the inside info that no casual buyer would have. (i.e. she told us not to buy in the complex next to where we ended up, because there were construction defects, etc.). Anyway, and I suppose this is how we stumbled upon our home buying MO. Find a TERRIBLE selling realtor - the rest is in the bag. Not a conscious decision at all, but over the years we have stumbled onto homes worth farm more than ever advertised. Way underpriced, etc., etc. I suppose "no realtor" is better than a bad one. But I would personally never buy or sell, without a good realtor on my side.

So, that's how we did it. We wanted 2 or 3 bedrooms, though were sure we would probably end up with 2. We were only shopping end units. I didn't want to share all our walls with neighbors. So, we come across this 3-bedroom condo, remodeled to the hilt, that had been sitting on the market for 6 months. At which point, I swear to you, we just about turned and ran the other way. It was impossible that anything semi-decent was on the market for 6 months!!! (I still think to this day - what if we didn't give it a try). We walked in, and we fell in love. (In the end? Problem was terrible selling realtor. SO penny wise and pound foolish for the sellers - I can't even tell you how much so. We were relieved to narrow down the problem and know the place was just fine. It was a GEM!)

I suppose some of our friends or family thought it was a bit much to take on 3-bedrooms. Dh and I were always looking for the long term. Though we hoped to ride the equity wave up to a house, we wanted somewhere where we could have kids, etc., if it didn't work out. We weren't sure if we could ever afford a house. Let's face it - this might be our "forever home." & we were happy with that!

Anyway, the condo was at the top of our price range, and they immediately accepted our full price offer. (Bad realtor had said they had lower offers and would accept nothing less. Can you believe our relief that we didn't have to get into a bidding war with 100 people? Full price it is!)

The financial advice I got from my parents at the time was to:

1 - put 20% down
2 - get a fixed rate mortgage
3 - No pre-payment penalties
4 - Don't escrow taxes/insurance

They didn't really give advice on how much to borrow, but I presume if we bought a $500k house, they would have said something. At the time, lenders were still pretty conservative (1999). I mean, our lender was trying to talk us into ARMs, and 0% down, of course. But beyond that, the income guidelines were pretty strict even then.

So, we put 20% down ($52k), and financed the rest ($208k) at about 8%. At the time, we borrowed a fair amount - PITI was probably 36%-ish of income. We didn't really care about that so much. The place was dirt cheap when it came to renting anything similar, and with the homeowner tax breaks, would not cost us much more than renting a studio apartment, anyway. So, we did think hard through the finances and were happy.

Dh and I both got a $10k raise within the year, and with dropping interest rates, refied to a 15-year with a much lower interest rate, soon after.

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The thing about San Jose, is that the place was *nothing* in the 70s. It was just a little farming comunity, and by the 90s, its housing prices rivaled Manhattan.

Most of the people I know want to buy there because that is where they grew up. BUT, a lot of them seem to think they will make their riches in housing, like all our parents did. Dh and I have always felt it was a little insane. Um, that ship has SAILED? How do prices appreciate from "most expensive in the country" to twice as much, overnight? It's not going to happen. It's like chasing stock market returns. You have to find the good values. The "Manhattans of the future."

Considering dh and I didn't want to work into eternity, to buy a HOUSE (or to afford rent), we pretty quickly decided just to leave the area. Our condo appreciated $100k overnight, but houses went up $200k. IT started to feel pretty futile. Couldn't save fast enough, if you tried. Even with equity to help us along.

At the time, most of our friends with kids were moving to Sacramento. But we had a few single friends who made the move, to. Why pay $500k for a house, when you can get the same thing for $100k, in Sacramento?

We weren't exposed to much real estate crazy in San Jose. I mean - the people who were buying, were buying before they were "priced out forever." I would put dh and I in that category. (Which in the end, was over dramatic).

BUT, the real real estate crazy was in Sacramento. We bought a beautiful home for the same price our condo had been, and with no condo HOA fees, and lower interest rates, it was actually cheaper in the end - for us. Hell, our utilities are lower here - all the energy efficiency.

The people I met locally, never understood. We were labeled as "rich" or "crazy" to have such a nice home. Or we came with buttloads of equity. (Truth is - $0 equity - by the time we sold the condo). To us, it was just a matter of perspective. These prices were a dream!

But as people moved here from more expensive areas (LA, San Francisco), in droves, prices got pretty sky high. Then the locals started getting sucked in and paying $400k-$600k for homes, before they were "priced out forever."

I had been trying to talk my dad to invest in real estate, forever. Sacramento was going to be HOT! In 2004, he actually became open to the idea. I remember one of us came across a graph of the local real estate market, for like decades. The usual market was a series of hills and valleys, but the current cycle was a hill with no end in sight. It took just one look and we both said, "Now is not the time to buy." You know, we could wait for a valley...

So, you fast forward to today. What are my friends saying? The ones "who would never buy a house!" in particular. They are running out and snatching up houses before this "low" disappears forever. You know what the irony is? I have local relatives here, and when we bought this house, in 2001, they thought we were INSANE. Because they just didn't grasp how expensive our home town was. I remember precisely, one relative was in the process of selling his investment real estate. He had a good run, and as far as he was concerned, it was over. I always thought *he* was the foolish one, honestly. Seeing the potential for the market, from my eyes. & so - you fast forward to 2009/2010. What the locals thought was an "insane high" in 2001, is not an "insane low" in 2010? I suppose you realize through all this, how short-term people's minds think, sometime. I think that is what struck dh and I the most through all this. We are VERY long-term thinkers. Which is why I commented quite a few times, we do have friends/relatives who thought we were insane all along, who are now running out to snatch up houses for the same prices today, with little thought. In fact, they brag to us how they waited (& mostly paid more for the same thing). Because their memory ain't too good. It's like they try to rub it in our face that THEY Waited for the low of the low. & we go, "huh?" I thought this was the high of the high? Make up your mind? (I suppose that was before housing doubled overnight and all that).

Anyway, which is the final chapter in all this. Interest rates! Interest rates are the low of the low. No doubt. BUT, if you can not afford said house if the rate went up 1%, um, can you really afford it???? This is what drives me crazy about people these days. I know we are young, but we bought before most of our peers did. As such, we started out with a 8% interest rate. I don't know if people really grasp how that even with a fixed rate loan, they could be forced to refi, in death or divorce, etc., etc. IF you can afford 4.5%, but not 5.5%, I think I would step back and think it through a little more. For us, being able to refi down to 4.875% has been super awesome for our finances. But fact is, we could easily afford our house payment if we had to reset it at 8% for any reason. Even 10%. In the era of low interest rates - the advice I would add to my father's, is, "Don't let affordability be dictated by interest rates." Just consider it a nice bonus. I know we do!!!

I think the low interest rates are a big driver in the "crazy" in the real estate market here. The thing is, that good properties are getting snatched up in bidding wars here, today. In the end, it falls very deja vu. In the bubble, in the bust, always the bidding wars and the "if I don't buy it today, I never will!"

I've actually got home-owning friends with NO CASH who are buying investment real estate with $0 down in this "time of opportunity." (Um, did they know the vacancy rate on houses was sky high? Not sure who they will rent to). I just cringe as I watch it all unfold. On some level I wonder what is to stop another bubble from forming fast and furiously.

Anyway, typing all this out makes me curious about the insights of people who have been home owners for many more decades than I. You know, my parents have told us about the days of 13% interest rates (when they bought their house!), etc. & I appreciate having an intelligent, long-term perspective, when it came to the whole subject. It helped us from doing anything too stupid!

I know this is LONG, but these are all some thoughts I had been wanting to put out there, for a while!

**Dh did some serious grocery shopping this week! He bought stuff for 4 meals (mostly non-perishable items) to cook the week after next. 4 big meals + plenty of leftovers. (Most of next week will be out of town for surgery). BEtween that and frozen meals filling our fridge, we may have enough to eat for months!

The grocery bill will be ugly, but will probably offset, next month. (Besides the above - he stocked up on just about EVERYTHING!)

**We have seemed to make some progress on neighbor's nanny, arrangements. I don't know if we will even use her, but boy it is nice to have options!!! We haven't finalized price, but what we have discussed is very workable.

**The rest of the weekend will be so busy getting the house in order.

Work should be crazy, and is certainly busy, but mostly seems under control. Which is a big relief!

The "prepare for the worst" in me needs to remember to bring dh's medical directive and power of attorney, etc., etc.

Though I suppose it is good to keep busy, I am kind of annoyed with myself. I was going to spend the evenings doing some chores. Figured I better get used to it (since my evenings will be BUSY for a while - cooking meals, help with homework, and such). Thing is my gas tank runs out about 5pm. I can sometimes muster energy for the gym - it's very relaxing to me. BUT, has anything gotten done around the house? Um, no??? I know I will be fine in survival mode. I just haven't gotten there yet. More like, "I better enjoy some relaxing evenings while I Can..."

So I am annoyed that I feel so rushed to get so much stuff done this weekend.

It's always WAY less overwhelming when we all chip in. I asked dh and the kids to work on the house today. Will see if they listened. (Last time they didn't! But I think dh knows better, this weekend. ). Maybe we can all work together tonight, get 'er done, and just RELAX tomorrow. I can dream!

I am in the midst of a financial firestorm.

When it rains, it pours...

Got news that my compensation is taking a HUGE hit for 2010. Maybe, but who knows. YEah...

So, anyway, I don't think it has a lot to do with the economy (though it could). It has more to do with my boss winding down the business. HE is closing our profit sharing, which is not all bad. I can roll my balance to an IRA, take full control, and now my family can inherit 100% if something happens to me (couldn't before). I think I am more upset about the writing on the wall. My boss is cleaning things up as he prepares for retirement. HE would love to take on a partner or sell the business, but no takers. So, makes me fret about that more. I'd LOVE to work here forever like so many of my co-workers have. Alas, too young!

He hasn't really committed to the decrease - says, "will see," as he may open a SEP IRA instead - far less administration. I suppose I have 15 months to fund my IRAs for 2010, which is good, because I will need it. In the back of my mind I wonder why my boss is giving up a $50k per year tax break. IT doesn't make a whole lot of sense... In a SEP, if he contributed 25%, he would have to give us all 25%, I believe. So obviously he is happy to give up the GIANT, LUCRATIVE tax break. Which stresses me out a bit as to why that would be. What's the next announcement? Closing up shop?

I will also have to decide if I should contribute to a regular IRA then. I don't think I can put enough away, otherwise. Without the tax break. Then I wonder if 8% to a ROTH is the same as 10% to a regular IRA, in the end, since there are no taxes on the back end. Lots to think about there.

I have to put is aside for now. Timing is TERRIBLE. I can't think about it too much.

I have to focus on dh getting well, and we will have to sit down and work on the budget once all this medical stuff shakes out.

I think this is also a bit of a kick in the butt. I knew my compensation was awesome before, and I appreciated a mostly low-stress, highly flexible job, with small kids. BUT, I think I will feel out the market a bit this year and see what else is out there. Not really ready to jump ship. But I think I Would feel less stressed about it all if I knew what my options were. & for the long run, I may need a bargaining chip. I will consider it a trial run/covert option to see what kind of salary other firms are willing to pay me.

In other news, I should get a raise Monday, so I am trying to hold off panic. I kind of get the feeling most people don't really care that much about money being put away for retirement. To me, this is a HUGE hit. I have really relied on it, though I knew this day would come. Anyway, I do not expect a salary adjustment (to make up for lack of profit sharing), because my boss was very vague and clearly wasn't sure what he would do.

I discussed it with dh yesterday, and told him, "We will worry about all this when you recover." I've got other things to deal with right now!

Our insurances have gone up about $4k this year, for various reasons, so this is not helping the UGLY.

2009 was really prosperous for us. I am bummed that 2010 is starting out so freaking opposite!

I've heard and seen some interesting opinions and attitudes over the years - when it comes to a male stay-at-home-parent.

I can conclude from many a conversation that most people think men are incapable of housework, cooking, and child rearing. EVEN if it has been their full-time job for many years. (I have had women snidely tell me that they would NEVER leave their kids in the care of their husband. Um, and this is something to brag about? Good for you - you married a moron? Or that you are that much of a control freak?)

I have gathered that most people I know think that I am happy to fill in the role of "do it all mom," while my husband sits at home and does nothing. I mean, he may pick up the kids from school, and care for them while I am at work. But obviously I do everything else. (& it's a miracle the house hasn't burned down, and the kids haven't starved, in the meantime!)

???

So, anyway. It will be interesting to fill in the role of "do it all mom." Not looking forward to it in the least. But I suppose I will fill the role that everyone expects I already have. Or which most moms I know already fill. Which means - I suppose I will get little sympathy.

But honestly, I am just EXHAUSTED thinking about it. Beyond the chauffering, cooking, cleaning, errands, staying home with sick kid days, etc., etc. it is so much more than that. There is the discipline and the refereeing, and the "eat your dinner if you want dessert" and all that stuff that dh usually takes on. He has always taken that on, because he is way better at all that stuff than I.

For our kids' sake, I hope dh's recovery is speedy.

His surgery is in just one week!

**Noticed just yesterday that the hotel never charged our credit card, for our insanely low "advanced purchase" rate.

I called today to verify. Reservation is in the system and they seem surprised I hadn't been charged. BUT, said they would just charge us on checkout. Well, okay then! I just wanted to make sure the reservation was still there!

**Tried to make a school lunch deposit - which was an exercise in futility. Did I ever mention that I HATE PayPal??? Ugh. They switched to PayPal, which was a real PITA. I also don't understand why I Couldn't put it ALL on my card. Dh is in the middle of a few sales, and they pulled most of it from the PayPal balance, which was also annoying. Why do I want it on my card? For cash rewards!!!

Stupid PayPal! Which also costs more - of course.

On the flip side, the new system is much nicer, overall. BM really has not been buying much lunch. But it's insanely cheap for the well rounded meals. & he will eat the fruits/veggies. I assume he may be buying more with dh laid up in bed.

**Today I dropped off BM at before-school care. I hadn't really tried it because it meant getting up even earlier to get him all ready and such. BUT, dh hadn't communicated to me that he couldn't take him to school today. So I dropped him off for 15 minutes. IT seemed silly, but there were a lot more people dropping kids off after I. I suppose it's how it will go. It only takes me 10 minutes to drive to work, but allows me to drop him off at school and get to work on time - even just those 10 minutes. I can't drop him off at school until 8:00 otherwise, when I should be at work! Though, during tax season I will probably drop him off closer to 7 once in a while. He's an early bird, so no biggie. & he LOVES it.

**Cable update. So, DISH has finally grown on us, I suppose. Not thrilled with it, but let's face it, it's the cheapest thing out there. WE got a new DVR at some point, which has had a lot less issues. So I have toned down my negativity on Dish.

Anyway, we have had a free trial with Surewest for MONTHS (haven't used it) because they kept insisting we have to try their new DVR when it comes out. We briefly tried the old one, and it sucked. Dh has heard really good things about the new one, so he figured he could wait and try. We hate Dish anyway.

So it's been forever, but the new DVR has finally arrived! Thing is they told him the monthly charge would be $90/month. Something like that. Just for TV!

Ugh. I told dh that since DISH was $65 - taxes and all - that I wasn't really happy about this. I pretty much said - if you want the TV that bad, then we need to get a slower internet speed. HEck - that is just a promotional rate, though I presume so is our DISH rate.

The thing is, Dish is far more expensive than our old cable company (which was bought out by Comcast). I suppose I should just appreciate that we had such dirt cheap cable for so many years. *sigh*

Honetly, whenever I read that you have to cut out things like cable, to be debt free... I just roll my eyes. I often think cable gets a really bad rap. To us, it has always been cheap entertainment (compared to say - going to the movies???). & for dh - it's just a priority for him. Though when we were broke, we never wasted our money on cable. I just don't see why it is so bad to put less than 1% of our income to cable, as we have more means, etc. (Even dh would never pay for cable if he were in debt).

BUT. IF these are the going rates for mid-range cable? I suppose I *get* the sentiment a little more. I Wasn't quite aware in my "mom and pop cable" bubble.

I will probably let it be while dh has surgery and everything. But we will have some serious talks about this in the near future. I tried to get dh to consider dropping the gardener when we signed up for the super high speed internet. I kind of feel like something can give.

On the flip side, LM will be done with preschool in just a few months. & another $50 to internet/cable, still means a big bump in our overall savings. So, will see. I suppose I just want to make sure dh REALLY Wants this and there is really nothing else that can give. & he is going to have to realize that it will be a long time before I let him upgrade this stuff, again!

For now dh told me, that he agrees it is insane, so he is just hoping he hates it. But he has to TRY it!!! I suppose if it is far superior to Dish, that I could maybe talk him into cutting the internet bill a bit. Will see! But yeah - it better be REALLY GOOD!

What an exhausting weekend!!

Dh may never take us to the snow again. I would say we planned it perfect, but it was so warm that the unkempt driveways were slushy and the van got stuck. Poor dh. Other than that - perfect trip. (Might bring a shovel next time - to be sure).

Our GPS saved us a ton of money - thank goodness!!!!

We were in search of some elusive sno park (public snow area) that we could not find. We found one, and pulled off to look at it. Could be the usual - or could be due to budget cuts, but the driveway was just filled with snow. Blech. (I remember it being cleared last time). Made for some interesting driving. In the end, wasn't really anywhere to sled. & though I knew it would cost the SAME to stop at the ski resort right there ($5), we figured it would be more crowded for our taste - and knew they closed at 4:00. It was getting to be almost 2:00, so we moved on. Dh thought at first that was the one we went to last time (5 years ago?????). I told him the next one was about 30 miles away in Tahoe and I remember driving really far - must be it. Had some good sledding. So we moved on. With the GPS we decided we'd just try some public parks along the way. Might be something. In Tahoe we decided to turn around - it was REALLY far! We were not 100% sure it was the one we envisioned. We stopped by a place along the way. Dh ran in and it was $10 per PERSON to sled. LOL. No thanks. We saw some good sledding on the side of the road, but couldn't figure out how to get to any parking (or how to get in there in the first place). So, it's getting late and we just go back to the sno park. Once there for the SECOND time, only then do we see that we have to pay somewhere else. Ugh!!!!!! The kids and I got out of the car to get bundled up, and dh took the GPS to the list of locations for "permits" and figured out the closest one was 8 miles away - back in Tahoe. So he went out - which worked out perfect. But for getting stuck in slush. Some nice person helped him out. We learned a lot, that is for sure. Though to his credit, he said even the sno pros had a hard time getting it unstuck.

That was the other thing. Everywhere we went, elderly people were chatting it up with dh. Not just elderly, but older than us. Um, he just shaved his head into a mohawk. Kind of taking charge of his head before surgery. Every time I turned around someone was striking up a conversation with him. (Even in Sacramento - not just a friendlier town or anything). We joked that his mohawk makes him more approachable? LOL. Okay then!

Anyway, back to the snow. The sledding wasn't great, but the place we ended up was FANTASTIC otherwise. The kids had a blast.

On the way there we passed a sledding spot we couldn't see going the opposite direction. Dh said - "Oh yeah - that's where I used to go as a kid." Now we know - for next time. Doh!

The weather was divine. It was HOT and we were shedding layers. Beautiful and sunny. Out of curiosity I peaked, and the weather said 38 degrees. Maybe in the shade? LOL. It was pretty warm.

Not a lot of traffic. In the end - a perfect snow day.

It was cold and dreary here in the valley, and so beautiful up in the mountains, yesterday.







On the way up we stopped at Taco Bell for lunch. Went to the family cabin and stocked up on snow clothing & sleds. Was a bit of a bust since I thought we had bought some needed things, but in the end, BM didn't have boots that fit well. (Made a new list of things to buy!). Dh and I could hardly find anything - not sure what happened to all the adult clothes. I had everything but boots and snow pants, but found some to make do. Dh could only find boots, but it was hot anyway. Worked out. I suppose we will buy some snow clothes for next winter.

On the way home, it was much later than planned, after the aimless driving, so we decided to search the GPS for Hometown Buffet (a favorite of ours in San Jose). We found one in Sacramento, in the end. (It was a little run down and not as good as I expected - but was okay - certainly lots of food!) I cringed when I saw the weekend dinner prices - over $11 for adults. BUT, they only charged us 99 cents each, for the kids. Holy Cow!!! Don't know if that was a Sunday thing, or what? Considering the kids eat more than I, it turned out to be an awesome deal. So, unintended splurge on dinner out - but for $25 for all that food - I think it worked out. We were hungry after such an active day!

**We are due for another Chase reward ($250 cash). I read about 6 months ago that they were completely phasing out Chase Freedom rewards. I thought I was lucky to redeem my $250 LAST time! Anyway, I have to wait until Februay 4th to redeem it (with next billing cycle). Crossing my fingers.

Along the same lines, I could care less what the cards change my limits and terms to. I use credit cards for convenience and don't expect the perks to be around forever. BUT, I have yet to have a card change their credit limit on me (or dh).

Now I will knock on wood!

I actually got a new credit card with my credit union a while back thinking I might phase out my old State Farm card. In the end, I am just kind of waiting for Chase to make their move. They can take away my rewards, but if so I will close my Chase card and move on. Back to cards with the little guys - where I started. I'd boycott Chase, but the rewards are too good. I earn more on my purchases than I do on my SAVINGS!

Anyway, if I get the $250 - it will cover my income tax bill for 2009. Which means I may just file and pay as soon as I get the reward check. & be done with it!

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I got another Burger King coupon book in the mail. Just in time for tax season! A lot of "Buy 1 Get 1 Free." The chicken sandwhiches hold up well - and there are 3-4 of those coupons. I bought 2 for $4 yesterday. Ate one for lunch - saved one for today. Not sure if the burgers will hold up so well overnight, but I will try.

(I've got bananas, oranges, and apple sauce, and WATER at the office).

Though honestly, I probably could eat half a chicken sandwhich and make that a meal for most of the week. I really should do that next time. 2 sanwiches = 4 lunches? The trick is to keep these things in a plastic bag - to preserve freshness.

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Today I will probably busy myself printing reports. I need to print my year-to-date reports from Quicken, and such. Make sure I have copies of all my investment statements for 2009, etc., etc. I try to make hard copies once a year, just in case my software crashes or something. I should probably do it more often...

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Next weekend I am torn with working and spending time with my family. I suppose I will leave it up to dh. I could work all weekend and avoid using up vacation time for dh's surgery. (Which may be smart in case I need to take time during his recovery).

BUT, for his last weekend pre-surgery, if he wants me to stay home - I can totally understand, and oblige. Thing is I am taking the day before, off work. So we will have that day together.

For today I am the only one sucker enough to work. But considering I am taking 3 days off in the height of busy season, I need to get some work done!!! (I suppose everyone else is taking a last hoorah - didn't realize I'd be the only one working today!)

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Oh yeah. Almost forgot - Wii Sports Resort was the hit Christmas gift at my house. (Not sure if we ever had Wii Sports - the original?).

Anyway, the bowling is phenomenal (100-pin bowling being a favorite).

I whined how we couldn't play against each other on most the games, and dh said we could buy accessories too. As I envisioned expensive accessories, I said, "eh." BUT, in the end he bought them new for $20-ish. Well worth it!!! (I suppose they were hard to find use - we don't own anything new generally, when it comes to the Wii).

So yeah - tried it out last night. Even better than before! I suppose for bowling, it is nice to not have to pass the one controller around, too.

Anyway, dh is also now Wii shopping for my mom. I just find it funny. She is totally sucked in by the bowling. He thinks he can get the whole package for $150-ish (Wii, controllers, games, etc.), and I Would like it to be a gift if they would accept.

I was personally kind of dissapointed in Wii Fit, and hadn't really been into it lately (believe me - the kids and dh USE the Wii). But guess I am sucked back in!

**MIL is coming around a bit. Though in the past we tend to never get anywhere when it comes to certain boundary issues, it seems that she has at least retained some sanity, and respected dh's wishes, in this case. Honestly, it may be a FIRST! (In the past certain things have come to a head and just have never been resolved...)

I know - sounds too good to be true. Will see how it pans out. But his family seems to think he is intelligent, after all, and seems to be supporting him. No doubt this outpouring of support came from MIL telling them about their conversation. But I think it signals that she is listening. The opposite would be some sort of intervention of sorts, for his terrible choices, which is what we were more expecting. The fact that he got so much encouragement/support after their "showdown," seems to signal that it was instigated by her. At last - Sanity!

**BM is in total heaven because he got to go to "after school care" this week. "It's about time!" would be his words. He is the sole extrovert of our immediate family. Oy vey. Though we would have gladly sent him off earlier, it's not exactly cheap. In the end, we didn't really have any reason to sign up before, but I think long after all this, it will come in handy. I suppose he will be attending more. (At $6/hour or $24/day, or $330 per month, it's not TERRIBLY expensive, either. Certainly not for the convenience factor).

If only LM were so easy! *sigh*

I suppose what it comes down to, is BM will go to school like always, and I will go to work like always. & though LM is not the easiest to please, and the clingiest, his is the little world that will be turned upside down. It's not quite so dramatic - I know he will be fine. But, I think it will be easier on BM and I since not too much will change for us.

Anyway, BM is trying out the school care on an afternoon next week (short school day) and then we will just use it as needed, once dh has surgery. I think we could largely live without it, but may utilize it to keep some normalcy, for BM. Will see...

Still working on some trial runs for LM with the neighbor's nanny. (Cloaking it as play time with his friends - which he will be a little more open to). Again - even in the best of times - more drop-in options are always good when it comes to daycare. You just never know when something will happen...

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I suppose I lied to myself. As the weekend approaches, I Feel like I should be getting as much overtime as possible. Decided to work most of Saturday.

If the weather co-operates, we may take the kids to the snow Sunday. IT's long overdue. We made it last year, but just stayed at the cabin where it was pretty icey. We will drive up to the *real* snow, this time. The snow parks here are $5 to park - with sleds and snow clothing kept at the family cabin. We bought some new stuff to take up anyway - to add our contribution. So we will stop by the cabin, check on it for Grandma, and borrow some snow stuff for the day. But for gas and $5 - and maybe a meal out - will be an overall frugal outing.

We are happy not to *do* snow, but to visit it once every year (or few!)

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**It all reminds me when I was on maternity leave with my first, and we barely touched all the savings we had piled up for the event. I am starting to think that it is possible that we will save money rather than lose money on all this surgery stuff.

For one - dh is going to be too out of it to shop. & this time of year we don't tend to spend much anyway (we live/eat/breathe work, it seems).

I am so overwhelmed with daycare and food offers (in a good way) that I wonder if my grocery bill will be nil, instead, for February.

I can only hope, right? Well, it will be interesting to see how this all pans out.

Even the medicals bills may take YEARS to materialize (if the past is any indication).

& I may work record overtime, so MIL doesn't drive me insane!

Maybe 2010 won't be so bad, financially, after all?

Phew!

Credit card closed on our spendy month. I am going to get gas this a.m., and book the hotel, as mentioned.

Actually, both our cars need gas. But as such, I can't leave that for dh to take care of - I need some gas to get to work.

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I've decided that our GPS will be completely invaluable with dh in the hospital. The kids will be staying with 3 or 4 relatives where I always get lost because I am not quite as familiar with their city. (Problem is I think I know where I am - then I drive around in circles). The hospital is in a completely unknown area, etc.

I was thinking if I should get a hotel for longer, but eventually decided against it. The fact is I will be doing a LOT of driving though. BUT, I figure if I could find the nearest library (which dh pointed out will probably have wifi - woohoo), the nearest Taco Bell (cheap food), and the nearest Borders type store (a cushy chair to read in) that I would probably do okay. I am not a fan of coffee shops. Over-priced drinks that I don't like anyway. I'll be going for the library instead! (I suppose our library has cushy chairs, too. So maybe that will be my hangout of choice).

& I also realized if I need to leave, I should probably be with my kids. So, driving it is. Lots of driving back and forth. (I had forgotten about the kids!!)

The GPS will allow me to find all this stuff on a whim. & keep me efficient as I drive all over tarnation.

It never would occur to me that their was "medical rates" for hotel rooms. Particularly ones so close to the hospital. I did see that mentioned by the hospital as well. I doubt if the rates will be much better than my AAA discount and such, BUT I will of course ask before I finalize anything. (Thanks everyone for the tip!!)

Someone asked if I use Hotwire. I actually use Cheaptickets (this was the most awesome travel deal website in the 90s). BUT, in the end, I usually search rates and book the hotel directly. In this day and age, I find the best deals are by calling up and asking. & by booking directly (cut out the middle man!) & in an extreme example, the last hotel we stayed at cost about THREE times as much through all the travel websites. As far as I can tell, those websites are all the same really. I am just loyal to cheaptickets. Though the catch is you do have to prepay. Then again, I haven't actually booked a room through them in a few years. It's just a jumping off point, for me. I have also tried Priceline or whatever, where you don't get to pick your hotel, and had a HORRID experience. I know with a ton of effort, you can work it to your advantage (& get an idea what your hotel will be). But the experience really turned me off. I will just pick my hotel room, thanks!

ETA: Oh Hotwire is one of those where you don't get to choose the hotel. Nope - not going there... Will be in the same area that I had the terrible experience with. Too much "good area" mixed in with "bad."

I've chosen the hotel, so I just need to call and see if I can get a cheaper medical rate. In this case cheaptickets = booking directly (price wise). So I will just book directly... Then I don't have to prepay the room.

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In an effort to cheer myself up, since I know 2010 will be a mess financially...

It occurred to me that I am further along on my cash goals, than imagined. When I look at my year-end cash balances for older years (years that I am striving to live up to), I just get my 12/31 statements and look at my cash balances.

I was just thinking about it, because I have $5k sitting in my checkbook today. For net worth and measuring progress, I don't count my checkbook. That money is earmarked to be spent the second it hits my checkbook. Whatever is not to be spent immediately, is transferred to savings, the second I get it. So, for net worth, I don't count my checking. Nor my credit card balance, which do tend to cancel each other out a bit.

So, I thought about it today. If I look at it that way, I can add $5k to my cash balance and be that much closer to my goal. I know it doesn't change anything about where I am at now. But it does change the fact that this elusive goal of $30k cash, is much closer than I realized.

I am not changing my goal, but once I have $25k or so, I Am going to pat myself on the back for making it to a DINK cash level.

$30k is still an extremely worthy minimum cash savings goal. We are living on one-income, we own a house, and we have kids. We NEED a lot more cash than we needed as DINKS. But there is something warm and fuzzy about saving as much as we were before kids. I think we are closer than we realized.

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Speaking of which. I did update my net worth on 12/31.

Official Result: Net worth DOWN $2300.

Culprit? House! Did awesome on the retirement savings this year. But the house continued on it's backward slide. We start 2010 with the house worth what we paid. I expect 2010 to be ugly, but since we've paid down about 30%, I won't lose sleep over it...

*Cash was about $20k
*The kids are up to about $10k in college money
*Retirement is up to $80k
*we have about $75k in home equity (From $450k at the PEAK!)

I think 2010 will be rather stagnant, in comparison. I don't expect the stock market to be on fire, I don't expect to save as much (with so many large impending bills). & well, I do expect the house value to slide considerably. It's just ugly around here - I don't feel like we have neared the rock bottom on house prices. (Though for the long run, I am not too worried about it - just the short run is pretty ugly!)

O.M.G.

I wouldn't even know where to begin, but dh's family is insane. INSANE.

(Content removed after VENTING!)

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In the end, dh wants to go down next weekend to visit his family. His sister wants to give him a mohawk, in honor of surgery. HE figured we better get used to the shaved head - make it an easier adjustment for the kids and such. HE also knew the mohawk would be a good lead-in to acquaintances about how he is going in for surgery. Kind of ingenious.

Anyway, so then we talked of going to a museum we have long wanted to visit in San Francisco. Kind of a what the heck because who knows when we will feel up to it again.

I suppose this will be a good opportunity to test out the family and see it they can truly support dh. I just don't know if I am emotionally up for more *battle.*

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So, yeah. I am just not dealing well with all the emotions. I was mostly over my virus, but awoke today with a scratchy throat. No surprise since the night before, I spent all night talking this through with dh. Who needs rest, right???

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Well, switching gears to the financial.

I was productive and put away a lot of paperwork FRiday.

I was kind of surprised to note that we drove 25k miles in 2009. You know - since my commute is very small and dh does not work and all. Though overall, it's pretty consistent where we have been. About 10k miles on the van, and 15k on the gas sipper.

Overall, the number surprises me though. Most of our driving is that I have tended to come at lunch far more often with lower gas prices (lower than insane) AND we tend to travel so much around the state.

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My dad took some nice photos of us yesterday. We can check that one off the list. Dh wanted some pictures, in case he ends up with facial weakness or paralysis. No doubt, in the back of the mind, we should get a nice family picture in case something happens - now matter how remote the possibility.

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My parents came over yesterday and we did Christmas dinner. (Postponed due to illness). It was nothing fancy - just the crockpot meal we had planned. Though the bread had gone bad and we didn't get to try our bread appetizer recipe thing. We may just try it today.

I also finally got around to making fudge. I usually make it for *me.* IT was funny - no idea dh loved it so much. He really asked a lot about it the last few days - otherwise I may have forgotten!

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I ended up returning my gift (before all the drama). I made out well. I exchanged the towel warmer for some glass cannisters (to replace some cheap ones I never liked - for sugar/flour and such), a microwave plate cover (been meaning to get for ages - still usually use paper towels to prevent splatters), AND a nice cake/cupcake storage/carrying case. Dang thing was $30. Which seems crazy to me. BUT, will be nice. We usually just cover with foil. I suppose these purchases were in an effort to reduce waste - but will also be a little more convenient.

Those were all a pretty even exchange. All things I had been wanting for a LONG while. So that was nice.

While at the store, I saw the nicest cutting board for about $15. So I got that for dh, for his birthday. I am still not sure if we will spend $100 on a food processor or not. I just gave it to him so he can enjoy the next few weeks. It had a bit of a curved handle so it is easy to pick up and scoop into a cooking pan, etc.

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Though MIL tried her best to ruin these plans, I think it was still a success. Dh finally got around to taking BM rock climbing (indoors). Thing is his friend works at the place, and so invited them after hours.

As expected, BM The monkey, ran to the top in mere seconds. Since the wall is made for adults, they were super impressed. I am not surprised, since he climbs to the top of everything he comes across. With ease!

So, he was in his element.

That was like the only think on dh's bucket list. He felt bad he had put off taking BM rock climbing. What a way to make it up to him though. I suppose they will probably get a membership to the local place, after dh recovers from surgery. BM was in his element. Though they also can visit the Bay Area one, any time, for free. Which may be good enough for us. Will see!

When we lived in the Bay Area we knew so many people who worked for places like TIVO, Adobe, 3M? (palm pilots) - we always got free or extremely cheap gadgets. These days - it's free rock climbing. It's always nice to have friends in high places.

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For today, not much in the plans. The house is pretty picked up. The financial chores are done. I believe I will scrub showers and do some deep cleaning since I expect a lot of guests during dh's recovery. Just kind of get that stuff out of the way for now. I want to enjoy and relax our next couple of weeks - not spend the weekends doing chores!!!

It was funny though. I filed papers and cleaned up my desk last night. Since my move to laptop, I rarely use my desk. It looked ugly, but once I cleared all the trash and junk, there really wasn't much to it. (The filing was lightning fast since I barely get any statements by mail any more). That was kind of how the whole house was. I wouldn't say I have spent more time than usual being organized or clean. But I suppose we seem to be keeping up a little better with the kids being a little more older and independent. All I can say is - Phew!!! What I thought would be endless chores, went lightning fast. Yay!

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Anyway, I no longer feel like I need good thoughts for dh's surgery. I know TONS of people for praying for him.

I need good thoughts and prayers that his family gets a CLUE!!! I just DREAD how these next few weeks will play out... For dh's sake, his family needs to get a freaking clue. It's hard enough making such a hard decision without your loved ones second-guessing you, every step of the way.

The fact of the matter that the outcomes are expected to mostly be the same, whether we go with our choice or MIL's choice for treatment/surgeon. We have no idea where all the craziness is coming from. *sigh* As my mom says, "MIL just isn't used to not getting *her* way." I just have no idea why her way is so devoid of logic!