Just had to say if I am not around much, it is a crazy week. I think I paid all the bills for the month and it is kind of slow here on out. Until I see where the credit card lands on the 3rd. Then I'll do the big bad net worth thing - see where we land. Anything can happen. I think since so little of our net worth growth this year is in stocks it doesn't affect my goals too much.

But yeah we have what feels like a million things planned this week. It has been rather slow around here, phew. But this week is crazy. Not a lot of money stuff. We may be providing dinner here tomorrow (which won't be a biggie) and I am taking BM to a kiddie amusement park next Monday, but I set aside the cash a couple of months ago. Not a lot of costly stuff planned this month, but the unplanned stuff is what gets you.

Dh and I are also both driving to San Jose next weekend so the gas thing isn't good... I was excited my niece's birthday party landed on Sunday as BM and I were going to be there anyway. But dh has other plans over the weekend and doesn't want to stay until Monday so we are driving separate. Figures. But we have been doing good on gas so shouldn't really affect the budget.

I also just realized that the next 3 weeks are 4-day work weeks for me. Could be good I guess but I have way too much to do. I really wanted to take a week day off and had made that a priority for BM, but hadn't really thought that the following weekend was Labor Day Weekend. I'll probably just work that Saturday to make up the time and get a little more caught up. I just am happy to have a day off when there aren't a lot of crowds. Holidays off become less appealing with time. We don't have any plans Labor Day Weekend but the thought just occurred to me that is the last weekend our pool is open too. Lord don't ask me why, it will be warm well through September here. We will have to go take advantage the next couple of weeks while we can.

Where the heck did summer go???

Oh I have Friday off for a seminar. I don't think I mentioned among my boring and usual stuff I snuck in a mutual fund seminar, paid for by my boss and all. Wasn't sure if he'd go for it, but he didn't seem to care. That one, and most the rest, are not until November though. My Friday seminar will be a yawn. They make us take the same class over and over every year for our license. I think it would be more beneficial to broaden our horizons, but I guess that is asking too much. Instead I have to spend x hours every year becoming a fraud expert and audit expert though neither apply to my particular job. *yawn* If I hadn't already of taken this class 10 times I would be more interested.

I also realize if I put these plane tickets on my card we should get another $250 cash back from Chase around October. (We just got $250 in June). How sweet. I will set that money aside for vacation money. We'll need it. All these "free" trips are great but none of them will be free. So the timing will good on that. A little extra cash to help.

For Japan we are staying for 6 days and traveling for 2 days. Woohoo. Sounded much better than the original 4 days as we try to work around my sister's schedule. She agreed to take another day off work and catch some red-eyes as she is meeting us from the east coast. So we'll see...

I just don't use cash.

I think I have said a few times that I don't use cash much and therefore don't really get a lot of the cash/coin savings. It may make more sense if you use a lot of cash and probably is somewhat psychological. But I always say I find it easier just not to take the money out of the bank in the first place so there is little cash out of the bank to save.

I was just curious after looking at LuckyRobin's Post and peeked in my Quicken. I was curious just how much cash we had used this year.

It's hard to say because we receive a lot of cash (focus groups, other income, parental gifts - they like to give us cash here and there all the time).

But from the ATM we have only taken out $350 the entire year (including the $60 I just pulled and should last us through September easy).

Comes out to an average of $39/month or $20 each to dh and I monthly. I can tell you exactly where my money goes. $10/month to eating out (exact change - I can squeeze two $1 meals a week) and $10/month generally to Bunco - or maybe a lunch out with the girls other months.

Lord knows where dh puts his money. I probably tend to spend a little more since most months I do bunco and a couple of lunches out with the girls. But I have been sticking to meeting for sodas lately and not been spending much. Dh rarely spends his cash for the most part.

The interesting thing is I have deposited around $600 cash in the bank this year and I have been pretty good about tracking it. If my mom gives me a $20 to reimburse us for something I have generally been putting it in Quicken (as a plus and a minus) just so I can track where all our money goes. Something I had never done in the past. But we mostly don't deal with cash and there is not a lot there. I have saved almost twice as much cash as we have spent this year.

For us this is really where the savings comes in. We used to consider all this cash just extra and would enjoy it on extras. I still feel somewhat that way on some of this money. But for the most part the new general rule is, unless it is going to save us a trip to the ATM anyway, all cash we get goes to the bank. We may earmark it to something fun but I guess we are trying to track everything more and stray even less from the cash. The less we use cash in general the more we know where all our money is going (just try to put it all through Quicken for a snapshot).

If I think about it - bunco and a split lunch is about the only places we NEED cash. Maybe the occasional toll and parking fees as well (Which I find more for work than dh would use).

Which means we have saved $600 this year, thus far, that we usually wouldn't.

So I guess that is how it works for this mostly cashless household.

Heck I put the kids $5 birthday cash in their investment accounts too.

So yes, it is a mindset to saving cash and I see the benefit.

I just will never get taking more cash out than I am going to use, putting it back in, and getting excited about savings. LOL.

Oooooh - to my credit I pulled out $100 this year for on hand emergency cash so that means we have only pulled $250 in cash this year for spending. Wow. Averaging $28/month. That's probably all me. Poor dh. LOL. Then again he just uses his card for everything so no biggie.

----------------------------------------

In other news dh has utterly confused me. He LOVES music more than nothing else (Well except movies) and he talked about getting a smaller more portable MP3 player for the gym. He was going to go cheap. I told him just to get something nice. I mean cheap is like $40 but nice is $100. What difference does it really make if the nice one last twice as long? So then he told me he didn't want to buy a MP3 player because he didn't want to be "in debt" with his allowance. I know some of you are wary of my dh but he really and truly is extremely anti-debt and would never buy something he couldn't pay cash for. So much that this thinking carries over to his allowance - LOL. Which I find funny. As long as he doesn't spend more than his annual allotment, I could really care less. It's more just to give us a guideline what we can spend, the cash is there.

So we were at the gym the other day and I could not believe he did not have an MP3 player. He can't go to sleep without listening to music. HE can hardly breathe without listening to music, but here he is in the gym listening to the crappy gym music. My god!

I should have figured he would cave. He finally bought one. He is all pissed because it cost $10 more than if he just bought it originally when he was looking. But oh well. I think it was $120 with tax, and used the rest of the Target gift card.

All I have is like 70 cents on my Target gift card. Well, it was fun while it lasted (Credit card rewards).

But yeah it's the kind of purchase I don't mind. & now he'll stop using MY MP3 player. It would be one thing if we could share but I generally go to the gym straight from work so it is easier this way, since I generally just carry all my gym stuff around with me. Since his is fancier I might be borrowing his a little more often though.

Of course dh is very good on keeping on top of sales so he says he will probably return this one as he keeps an eye for an internet sale. We'll see. He'll probably shave off $10 eventually.

I have to agree with some of the other sentiments that all the mortgage is hype is getting kind of old (particularly in the area where I live). I have to go back to dh and I sitting around and talking about it for years, so I guess we are kind of bored by the topic. Though we realize this will have a pretty broad impact on the economy as a whole (& am a little frightened by that. you can't just ignore it...).

But all the same I read some interesting things yesterday.

1 - Countrywide says they could have never seen this coming. ???????? Countrywide has only 30% of its loans as "traditional fixed rate mortgages." Are they serious? If they couldn't see this coming than they have serious issues. What they couldn't see coming was that they would be the ones left holding the bag.

2 - I saw some very interesting in-depth article that was explaining why Europe was so impacted by all this. I skimmed through it and didn't really figure out the whole Europe part but it left me thinking how crazy our world has become that the idiots in California can so horribly effect the economy in Europe. I feel the need to study global events more.

In the same article they were talking a little about the subprime events and was reading that so many of these loans were defaulting in the first through 3rd months that whoever was buying these mortgages stopped buying them. First, put a 3-month waiting period (to weed out the obvious defaults) and then eventually stopped buying. So this is how places like Countrywide, who intended to pass the buck, got left holding the bag. Common sense - all of it - but I didn't realize so many of these loans were defaulting in the first 3 months. WOW!!!! The mortgage companies were lucky to pass off most of the ARMs. Those will reset and start defaulting as well (most of them. I don't know anyone who has an ARM and has a plan other than to refinance or move - which both look unlikely lately). I also hardly know anyone that doesn't have an ARM, out here.

3 - I had read that this october around $4 billion in ARMs are going to reset - the most ARMs to reset ever in history.

I thought this was a very scary statistic and wasn't holding my breath on the economy going into much of a recovery mode in the near future. Feels like the beginning of a long slide if you ask me.

But I did read yesterday that most of the subprime loans and ARMs were taken out in 2004 & 2005. Makes sense as that was when property values were at a heightened frenzy out here. Which means 2009-2010 are going to be ugly years for the most common 5-year ARMs, as all of those reset.

I am reading predictions that the market won't bottom out until 2012, and frankly that makes sense. I've been reading the paper for months wondering what the hell they are smoking in press land, oh yeah this is just a little dip. I am thinking, um, hardly any ARMs have reset yet - I think it is going to get much worse. & it seems like it will have a snowball effect - more reset ARMS - unable to sell - more foreclosures - dropping home values... I just didn't really have any idea when or what the time frame was. I think I have a better idea. From now until 2012 or so is going to be REALLY ugly most likely.

I mentioned before that this area was particularly hit by the dot com bust as we were living in Silicon Valley at the time and that is where most of it occured. Pretty much everyone we know lost a job in the 2001 - 2004 era. I mean it is about how it felt. Everyone we know was affected. I am not sure dh would have agreed to stay home but his high-tech employer made the choice for him. & with the stocks since then everyone is so cautious - what goes up must come down...

It is more of the same here. It will affect here more than almost anywhere else. I am not sure why the same people can look at the dot com bust and realize there was some insane bubble (in hindsight) and not realize that it is just that with housing too - an insane bubble.

Yeah, what a shock!

It was probably a lot harder to see though because housing had already appreciated 1000% in the prior 20 years in the area. But I think the whole ARM thing made it terribly obvious that people were buying more than they could afford. People have been buying homes with 50%-75% of their income out here for decades. IT's a way of life. But when you do that with an uncertain payment like an ARM? You can pretty much figure out what is going to happen. You don't have a lot of wiggle room when you are already tying up most of your income in your mortgage. So the writing on the wall was rather obvious as a whole.

In Sacramento we were actually looking at buying investment property in 2005. I remember the realtor we were working with handed us some pamphlet with a graph. Since obviously the realtor wanted us to buy I think it was s'posed to be a sales tool. But it showed a graph of the home purchase cycle over the last few decades or something and it was up/down/up/down in a nice little pretty curve and skyrocketed off the chart from the last down cycle (90s) well into 2005. Off the charts! All I can imagine is realtors were handing this out as look - you have to buy - the graph is going off the charts! One look at that and it freaked me out. We decided right away it made little sense to buy. For Sacramento homes had never appreciated like that, and though I knew that with tele-commuting and Bay Area transplants Sacramento could have a long way to go, it just made little financial sense to buy property in 2005.

I think about 2 months later the market tanked.

I also found some charts online about San Diego but the same can apply here. Housing prices had grown on average from 5-6 times household income (more the norm in recent years since it is a pricey area) to something like the average home price was 12 times the average household income in 2005.

Does it really take rocket science to figure out that can't be sustained over the long-term?

I still keep going back to that 0-3 month default thing though. The lenders were getting so out of control that they were giving these loans to people who didn't have enough cash to make the first payment. Just... Wow...

I was amazed at our grocery budget last month but I forgot one important thing.

Kids are all on the same milk now (No more whole milk since LM turned 2) which makes it much easier to buy milk on sale (We can now buy 2 gallons of the same milk every time for the discount).

Plus the kids just naturally drink less milk with time.

I think it probably explains A LOT. Once we are done with diapers I imagine we will save $70 or so a month. ($50 diaper service and around $20 paper diapers).

Plus once he starts to get near potty training we will probably switch to pull ups which are much cheaper anyway.

Oh that will be NICE to be done with diapers.

& then one out of preschool next year?

Oh yeah I will do the happy dance with Paulette when I no longer have to pay a zillion dollars just to leave the kids somewhere for a few hours. Even with not relying on daycare it will just make all the difference when the kids start school. Means it won't be cost prohibitive for dh to get a job. Now that will be so nice...

Yeah, there is still hope for more budget busting in the next year or so.

Praying for a Focus Group - and it has arrived.

Dh has a $60 focus group next week - woohoo.

I hate to jinx it but word is the movie he worked on may be selling too(he gets a commission). We discuss using the money for video upgrades for future projects (some days I get the feeling this means we will make little on any video work ever - LOL. But I have to admit he doesn't have much time now and he has always worked to pay for that crap so whatever. I can probably talk him into putting 50% or so into retirement. We'll see, guess no point discussing until we know what it is AND it arrives but we are assuming $2k now. (If it is more than $20k though it is totally going to screw up my ROTH conversions. I guess there could be worse things. But for the most part I highly doubt it. Maybe I should hope my ROTH conversion gets screwed up - hehe).

So things are looking up.

On the flip side, I feel a little like BA. I feel like we have been doing really well and suddenly we are starting to slip backwards. Like we can feel we can afford more. But can we really? I am not sure yet.

Then again it is the 17th and the only thing we really splurged on all month is a $20 play and a meal at Subway.

I can sit home and not spend money until the cows come home but the big stuff will always get me.

Looks like we will just put LM in preschool 2 days a week. Money money. Temporary. But then I wonder when the "temporary" will end. We have been in a "temporary" state since 2002.

We went to that play and it was just awesome. They put on quite a production. I think they have 5 casts. I have no idea how they do it. They even work around my tax season (no plays in winter/early spring). They must have a CPA in charge in there somewhere - LOL. The play was darling and the cast was like 50-60 kids. I kid you not. I was just amazed at how well it was done - how do they organize all those kids?

Means we will shell out $100 for BM to take classes in the fall and be in the fall play. I don't think it will be a big deal. There may be a minimal costume fee and pizza fee, and the place is a bit of a drive. But for the most part it is not much. We have knocked our gas bill on its butt lately so we have some wiggle room.

Oh yeah, I will probably have to take a couple of unpaid days off for Japan too. Which matters little since the trip will cost me little. But it will cost me something as will dh's Florida trip. I feel like I am putting too much off to - "oh - we'll get Christmas money for it." I haven't locked in the efund yet because my goal is still $12k by 12/31. I think we'll still make it. But more precarious as more and more comes up. Then again I just need to work more overtime... Not that hard...

On the plus side I am feeling a little more caught up at work. My office looks less like a disaster area. But I hesitate to say that too...

Not to worry - still PLENTY overtime to be had!

To the discussion about propetry taxes - why not pay your bill in dollars and coins? Hehe.

http://www.webcpa.com/article.cfm?articleid=25092

I know the property tax discussion was hot and figured that article would be appreciated.

-----------------------------------------

ETA: On another note, for a "debate" on another blog I Was just looking up some statistics on income and housing in San Jose (where I am from).

I think I have said a few times that our parents' home have garnered a 1000%+ return since the 80s.

I just saw it in writing. 936% rise in average home prices in San Jose from 1976 - 2001. Wow.

The median household income in 2000 was about $75k. THat's the median. 1/2 the households make more. 1/2 less.

CNN reports median income of $85k in 2005.

But what do I care, I don't have to live there any more (thank goodness!!!).

Considering the strong appreciation since the 70s though I am really curious where the market as a whole goes. I don't think it is set in stone that places like San Jose will drop like a rock. (Though don't ask me how much has appreciated since 2001 - like 60%?. A lot of those gains may be erased, but would still be the land of insanely expensive).

My dad has a point - little has changed since 1980. He was just telling me like 75% of their income went to mortgage because interest rates were insane (15%+?) - in the early 80s. So today interest rates are in the 6% range but as a percentage of income little has changed when it comes to mortgages in the area.

The Bay Area is just such an unusual beast. Time will tell I guess...

I guess why I am interested too is because the economy here is GREATLY affected by the Bay. If the Bay home prices drop like a rock, millions of people won't be relocating to Sacramento any more. So I guess in a way it all matters to me.

Then again things settling down here wouldn't really be the worst. IT's still craziness here.

But yeah, just going over that 1000% price increase in my head over the last 20 years or so. I keep reading articles about people (in California nonetheless) who have been renters for 20 years and made the "right" choice. I just cringe. I will never see it that way. But maybe now you understand a little why. There are probably many areas in the country that renting makes sense. Out here it historically has made little sense. I mean for example, housing prices have gone up 1000% in 20 years, and I am sure rents have gone up more. In that time frame (2001 at the peak of that statistic) it cost more to rent than to buy. So you buy a house for $50k in 1976 or you rent. Fast forward to today, you have to pay $36k/year (or probably more) to rent that same house. You can settle for a really crummy no-bedroom apartment for $12000/year. If you owned your house is paid off and your property taxes are a few hundred dollars a year (another factor that property taxes don't rise crazy on you out here - with current law anyway - I admit things can change). Plus you have a $1 million asset to fall back on if you need it. Since this is such a long-term trend (not just in recent years with the appreciation) renting in the area never really made any sense to me, except with roommates to save a ton of dough, through college and to save for a down payment on a home. Even then dh thought I was crazy and just lived at home and saved most his money. He had a point but there is more to life than money for me - LOL. I mean I could have stayed home and saved up a lot of money but sacrificed my independence. & heck, my parents would have kicked me out anyway - hehe.

I admit the house we may never tap financially (not part of our financial plan) but I just can't imagine being a renter and not having that safety net (asset), all the same. & if nothing else it means our family builds wealth. I just realized the other day that odds are my better off grandparents' will have a decent home to pass on to my parents (if nothing else) and odds are looking like our parents will have their homes to pass on ($2 mil between the 2 little modest homes today), and this is mostly how wealth will accumulate in our family. Plus where we are compared to where are parents were at 30 - there is no comparison. We will have more opportunity to build up cash wealth in our lives. But owning property just speeds up the process, maybe more for our kids than us, but that's okay. Sounds good to me. It's nice to know if something happened to us today the means are there for them to be well cared for.

I know I have to keep in mind my perspective is extremely unique. Few can probably say the same. I have to remember the rent vs. buy is not always so cut and dry (particularly in this direction). But why I myself will always lean towards the "buying builds wealth" mentality.

Ironic.

I was just listening to all the gloom and doom on the radio today and shrugging it off.

I guess I sit extra pretty because the whole subprime/ARM thing was scaring the crap out of me last fall and some economic experts were starting to speak out about the tumble that the economy would take. Like I said before, being out in California maybe it is a lot easier to see the writing on the wall. I hardly know anyone who isn't over their head in debt - subprimes/ARMs/houses uses as ATMs, etc.

So I locked in some CDs in the last year at some really decent rates, and while I wondered if I got out of the market too soon, those fears are somewhat erased today (plus I am still squarely in the market where it counts - long-term retirement).

But anyway, so today with all the fear and doom and gloom I Was kind of just shrugging my shoulders and thinking to myself that we are in a good spot. We refused to play the debt game, didn't see the point, thought long-term, and today we have little worries. I was even thinking if this was 2001 when we first bought our home and had no market equity (or became upside down), I have to say we felt the same. For one we put 20% cash down. We found a way to lower our cost of living considerably and were just stoked by that. I ran around saying back then I didn't care if our hosue plummeted to a value of $0 - the move made our life SO MUCH easier. So I don't think we would have little care of this is 2001. & far less care with a good $300k+ equity still left today. I find it hard to believe our house will plummet below the $200k or so we owe on it. Very hard to believe. & even if it does, our mortgage is far cheaper than rent in the area (though I guess that could change if markets plummeted). But either way you slice it we took on a mortgage we were very comfortable with, and we are miles ahead of renting. I have no whoas today.

I am also lucky to have a rather recession proof job. I want to be realistic and know anything can happen. But the tech crash hit California hard and I was one of the few left standing. Since our business is mostly healthcare and 75% CPAs are in the process of retiring (I can work in any industry really) I have little worries. IT's a good place to be.

& most importantly we don't RELY on debt for anything. Our mortgage may be an exception, but it is a strange exception that makes life way more affordable for us than otherwise. & for now it has a long way to go before we could possibly be upside down, so I don't feel much "reliance" on it.

OF course I popped on free money finance today (always something interesting over there)

http://www.freemoneyfinance.com/

& the guy had a pretty similar post. I think he feels the same as me pretty much except he had to take a "Dave ramsey" stab and say: "6. Why are the "keep your debt and invest instead" advocates silent lately? And those who thought zero-interest loans and all the other wicked forms of debt are pretty quiet too. What happened to their boldness? :-)"

Hehe. Whatever.

I replied that I Was not an idiot and did not put my 0% financing proceeds in the market and though I choose to invest rather than prepay my mortgage, I am in for the long haul, so this matters little.

Frankly I have been thinking with markets down we may have more opportunity to buy at a discount. Being in for the long haul it always feels better to invest when markets are down as opposed to up.

I am not at the point where I have enough invested to pay off my mortgage if need be, but I am just starting. I should be there in a few years. Over the long run I expect the market to fare much better.

We'll see.

I am happier to have cash and investments to fall back on in tough times than a paid off house. For sure. Our monthly mortgage is pretty small beans (we could both work minimum wage and stay afloat) but the entire $200k balance is a little overwhleming for us. Hell maybe dh could go to work and we could neglect our retirement and get that sucker paid in our 30s, but what's the point? So we could lose everything in a flood? So we could never see our kids? I guess like I have said with so much equity and such insane housing prices out here, diversifying outside of our house feels pretty key to financial security. I just can't put all my eggs in one basket, and investing will buy us much greater financial security over the long haul. I want to live life now and my mortgage seems a small price to pay to enjoy the time I am here (which may be short, you never know).

I also saw an interesting point in one of my debates in a blog the other day that you save the most money when you buy a house, not when you sell. I guess that is pretty much how I feel. We bought low and inflation makes our payment easier with time.

A few of our neighbors on the other hand paid upwards of $600k on their homes. Who knows if they even had any cash to put down. Don't compare them to me - there is no comparison. You can't just lump everyone who has a mortgage into the debt happy category. They've been upside down about since they bought. Ouch. We have a LONG way to go before we would feel a pinch. When dh and I were married we pretty much drew the line at a $200k mortgage, even when we made six figures. Because we never wanted to rely on that big income. Few around here drew that line and most are in trouble.

No comparison...

I guess the point of this long blab is yes, it is good to be debt free overall and to prepare financially. I was just thinking about it today... But I have a LONG ways to go to eat crow over my "using debt for good like 0% returns and investing for the long term instead of prepaying my mortgage" stance. Still don't see why I can't use debt for good... It's all in how you play the game.

$650 RT to Tokyo - United.

Non-stop.

O.M.G.

Of course the catch is the fees/taxes are like $250.

I almost fell over when I saw the $650.

Sale ends today.

I mean it's not my money but the fees and taxes seem worthy of a big airline and a non-stop flight.

We'll see...

Maybe able to do better, but the way I usually get discounts is buy WAY in advance so nice to see some decent prices so close to the date...

http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=172969,00.html

IRS has a good article on Savers' credit (good reminder...)

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I just had an epithany about how when this credit has been mentioned in the past (here, forums, real life discussions) as the genral concensus is usually, "no one can make that little and save" or something like that. (Well I have managed to and I wouldn't consider a $45k income, "little."

I was just thinking about that as I hesitated to post it, in terms of the recent reaming I got for making $30k out of school in the most expensive area out of the country. How combined with our measly $30k wages, dh and I made more than the average american household, just out of school. (Even though you can't buy a home for less than 1/2 mil and few understand how freaking daunting that is even with a six figure income. Was never able to reconcile those home prices to financially sound living; that is why we moved.).

So, um you can't have it both ways. $60k is insanely rich but $45k is insanely poor.

Which is it? LOL.

I guess I just right now realized the duality of it all, and the fact that you just can't win.

It also could be an apples to oranges comparison. $45k is a household average and the credit for singles is much less (can't have income more than $25k for single filers). So the single filers have to be a lot poorer than the married filers to qualify. Though in both situations often there is just one wage earner. On the flip side $60k probably sounds like a darn decent wage to most young single people, though it isn't that hard to attain with two wages. So maybe that is where the juxtaposition comes from. I have always said life was financially easier having a partner...

I think most of the time we are all comparing apples to oranges though, everyone's situation has its own nuances.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB118687812752495256.html

Kind of an interesting article.

I see the point.

Can you have too big an efund? Hell yeah. I guess I have seen the other side on that one too. You can have too much.

Savings is savings, that is what is important.

I have to have the caveat that I really don't think you can save too much. Well, you probably can, but rather unlikely. LOL. But you can have way too much in liquid funds not working for you (especially when interest rates are like 2%). Been there, done that.

I laugh at the idea of being a risk taker because I am trying to maximize my returns and rather max out my IRAs than keep 6 or 12 months liquid cash in my e-fund. I guess that is the ironic thing because I am SO not a risk taker. But the odds I would ever need that 6 months cash? Pretty slim. So I am going to max out my IRAs, and if that slim chance comes, at least my butt is covered. It's savings, I can use it, the world would not end.

The odds are I'll come out ahead. That's what is important. IT's an odds game.

So I read his article with interest. He has a point.

Well, I am going to Tokyo but don't ask me where yet!

My dad put me in charge of airfare - lord knows why - I'll see what I can scrounge up this weekend.

& to the comments on my blog - it's good to hear the weather will be nice. My dad was scaring me how beautiful it was in the spring and how he didn't know about October. Early enough in October too, so not that far from summer I guess...

Just had an interesting story to share.

When the debate comes up if you are wealthier when you "give" I think most of the logic is a load of crap. I guess I know too many people who give what they really don't have to give, but are stuck in poverty with that belief. & too many people who do quite well but don't give a dime. I think those who give of themselves are probably happier as a whole. But for one, in my immediate family there is not a lot of cash giving going on. But everyone is pretty happy and well off. I think they are giving people in general though & probably why I find myself justifying that I just bend over backwards to help my friends and family and we have always been very big on volunteering, etc. Which to me is more important/rewarding than giving a ton of cash.

Which reminds me the amazing has happened. When dh lost his job I tried to get him to do some volunteer work to keep occupied, as waited for our first child to be born. Volunteering is not something his family ever had him do and he had no experience in, at all. I am not sure he was very game, but he was going a little stir crazy. Finally he found a gig at the public TV station. Originally he ran the cameras and stuff, and with time they let him do less (bummer) - just the way it is - volunteers can only do more menial things I guess - ??? But he told me the other day he was thinking he wanted to give $1k to the TV station. I almost fell over. Who is this guy? LOL. He has also been devoting TONS of time to the station as back to my last post it seems they have been having a lot of flakes, and dh seems to be the first they call when there is a no-show volunteer (since he lives close and will actually show up). So he has been logging in the hours. Oh well, when you feel passionate about something... We aren't going to, but he said he had thought about it next time we get a windfall or something. I am not even sure if I am so keen, but I am touched by his generosity. (Well either that or he has been working WAY too many pledge breaks - they are getting to him).

But anyway, I got off track a bit.

My mom however has taken to paying the bridge toll for those behind her when she drives up to visit us. She does this on occassion, and I liked the idea so much I have thought about it on a couple of occasions. Every time (rare) I come over the same bridge there is no one behind me. LOL. Figures. It kind of loses its meaning when you can't get a "thank you" wave.

But the last 2 time my mom came to visit she said each time her toll was paid for her by the car ahead of her. Isn't that sweet? Funny how sometimes what goes around will literally come around. She said no one had EVER paid her toll before.

I guess there could be something to it.

Well, if you want to make someone's day - pay their toll for them.

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In other news, um, I think I am going to Japan in a couple of months! Well, apparently my dad and sister are going in October, no one told me, and well I do have my passport from the cruise (that I never got to use since it arrived after the cruise). My mom just mentioned today and I said "HUH?" She said I could go (expenses paid) but I have to talk to my dad first. He went there when LM was quite little (a few months old) and I am sure he invited me and he had such a wonderful trip I hoped I would be able to go along some time. I wasn't going to travel with an infant OR leave him either at the time, so I declined. I figured there would be ample opportunity in the future (figured I'd be invited). I should be peeved I wasn't invited, but I think he got sick of asking me with babies because I kept saying no. He could have realized I may be a little more free now though...

IT works out perfect because dh's family is taking him and the kids to Florida in October and I could not (& didn't want to) go. So we both get our own family trips. Japan sounds far more exciting. Never been to Asia. I can't believe I might be going in just 2 months.

My dad has been to Asia many times for business and has a friend out there. I am not even sure where in Japan (how pathetic). But he was just out here for a week and so I was extra shocked, I had no idea they were going back there this year as well.

I don't think dh is too jealous either because he has been to Asia many times. Last was to MAlaysia for a month for work (he worked for a Malaysian company). I don't think he had a good time. He also had an aunt who lived in China many years (nun/missionary). It's always a really fun game to take the white lady out and have her start talking Cantonese in the Chinese restaurants and such. Always gets quite a response - LOL. Well, dh says knock myself out. He is not much of a traveler. I am not sure I am, but I have much more sense of adventure.

Though I do have to rethink this a bit. Rooming with my sister a week. Oh we might just KILL each other. Small price to pay I guess. (We're okay as long as we don't have to be in the same room or city or town - she is just one of those people it is IMPOSSIBLE to get along with).

We'll see...

I give up.

I am tired of trying to plan things with friends and groups and being stood up. Every playdate and night out I have planned in the last 2 months has been canceled with less than 24 hours notice (more like 1 hour if I was lucky - for most of them).

I am just FED UP with the human race.

Whatever.

The mommy politics don't help. With friends like these who needs enemies.

I am extra frustrated today because a good friend I have seen little of since she moved across town, well this is the second weekend in a row I got stood up. She asked if I wanted to try next weekend? You mean rearrange my whole schedule a 3rd weekend in a row to be stood up again? Blech.

I think the kicker is I just joined a new Moms' group through meetup because I was just beyond peeved with my old group with things recently, and I just popped in today to see they had planned a BBQ for 20 people or so and only one family showed up. ???? I now realize a new group won't really solve the problem. People are just idiots. No consideration in the least. I think they said something like 10 no-shows. Bloody hell.

It doesn't seem like it that would be that hard to get along with the human race, but for me it really is. Good thing I have a swell family I guess.

So is this a common thing or just a rude California-er thing. ?????

Oh yeah I am saving tons of money because I never get out any more...

I was going to take BM to a play too but he decided not to nap 3 days in a row. I decided going to a play at 7pm with no nap was NOT a good idea. LOL. I try to plan anything fun lately and that is about how it goes...

I think a lot of it can boil down to everyone over-extending themselves. I am sick of cracking out the calendar and planning things months in advance. As un-spontaneous I am I just like more laidback friendships. Pop by for a bit one night or whatever. A spontaneous night out... This planning months in advance and getting stood up anyway just gets really old.

Call me a dork.

I have reading all about this balanced billing for utilities and thinking, eh, what's the point?

But anyway, I guess maybe my bias was that I like getting the $10/$20 bills here and there. The higher end bills I expect and anticipate, but I think I enjoy those little bills too much. Our gas bill is often $10 in the summer and our electric bill is often $20 in the winter.

But we got the big July electric bill and with the a/c it wasn't pretty. Since I am budgeting my paycheck down to the penny it seems, I think it probably would help with the budget. If I think about it, all of our bills are pretty fixed except for the gas/electric. Gas varies, but it kind of sucks as a triple whammy when you get the auto gas, electric, and water bills in August - just nasty all around - gas prices is high, water usage is up so the lawn doesn't fry, and the A/C works hard to protect us from the 100 degree heat.

So it is one thing to do to lessen the load in August. The water we are just in the process of switching to metered, but it only varies at most $20 here and there. Our electric and gas bill can vary by $130 from month to month.

It's funny to me how the better we are with our money the more those little fluctuations seem to matter. Bizarre... I guess since we weren't investing our money as efficiently as before. & it is far easier to budget with set amounts...

So I guess I am converted.

I checked and it looks like both our electric and gas company offer programs. I looked in Quicken and our average gas bill over the last year was $35 and our average electric bill was $45. I think we can swing $80/month... (I think in the lowest months we tend to pay $50 combined so it doesn't sound bad at all).

I looked at our budget for the month and if I just pay our minimums for the rest of the year (balance transfers) and transfer nothing over to savings, we will meet our efund goal. So I am going with that. It's around $300/month to efund (by paying balance transfers out of checking and letting the savings grow since we'll owe less back in the end). & around $100/month in interest. (Plus I got $100/month going to investments). I expect enough christmas and OT money to cover my next IRS installment. We'll see. But if we're only at $11k on 12/31, the world won't end either. I think being above the $10k mark just feels darn good. We had dropped to $5k for a few months and I just did not like it.

I still need to sell some things around the house. As well as freecycle really. Could use a little cash. I think all the bills are covered but I feel like I have no money to go to the ATM. It's not the worst... The less cash I have the less I spend it.

I was talking to my mom and her electric bill was about $400. They just got a/c in the last couple of years. I say buy a new house. She said with the house paid off she'll take the utility bill. It really sucks though, but having an older house can REALLY be a financial drain if you ask me. That's my bias I guess. They are obviously better off staying put with the house paid and all... (The property taxes would slay them if they made a lateral move - would be more than my mortgage). But I mean it is smaller than our house and they just get GOUGED. I know it is amazing how running a 4-person household with more space can be so much cheaper when it comes to utilities. Technology has come a long way. Maybe there is some hope for the environment. We have been here 5 years. Sometimes I wonder how long before all the stuff we have here becomes obsolete and we have to upgrade. But it was really part of our plan that we didn't want to spend a lot on repairs and upgrades early in our home-owning lives. & the electric bill is one of the perks of going new!

Oh I just wanted to say first that Amazon credited us the $4 or so for shipping on the Potter book - dh had already called to complain and they didn't do much but credit for the book and resend it. But then when they got the first book back - sent back for no reason - they credited us for shipping - so book was FREE.

I am still confused by dh's parents - even moreso - but I guess I understand a little better in the name of parental fairness.

Dh talked to his mom yesterday and I don't think she is so keen on the LM going to preschool thing - she really wants to send BM more. Which is fine - her perogative - but I am starting to rethink the whole thing. It is just 4 months or $400. A little less actually since vacation is in there and such. The only way I would regret this is if I didn't get any overtime or a decent raise January. I already have earned enough OT to pay this though, and well if I don't get a raise my boss is insane. It's just pretty much expected. So maybe we'll swing it anyway. I don't know. Like I have said before it is at most only one year the 2 kids would both be in preschool. If this was it, it would be a no-brainer. But I notice as we are catching up financially suddenly we are getting a little too lax. The $400 here and there is starting to add up. So have to think on it more... I could also put off adding to the kids' college money to 2008. That one I struggle with too. I finally gave in and admitted that power of compounding is worth throwing in a token. But the $50/month would go a long way towards this instead. Does it really matter of I start in 2008 (or will I find more excuses). Part of me just wants to stick with it and move on - I set up automatic transfers to start in September.

But dh was talking to his mom about it and for one she really thinks BM should got to school more to prepare for Kinder. I admit I am a little concerned that Kinder is all day (what are people thinking around here? I am sure working parents are in charge of this *great* idea). We have kind of gone round and round on it ourselves. But for the most part the preschool he goes to is more to play. We chose it wasn't very "schooly" which is more what our brainy kids need. I like they get really messy and play with other kids because dh isn't great about being social OR worse, letting the kids get messy. They need that. So dh and I are kind of like, eh, is a 3rd day of "play" really going to prepare him better? Lord knows we don't want to drive all the way over there 3 days a week. & Friday nonetheless (oh traffic is so horrid Friday). We have been feeling opposite. We have been saying lately how this is the last "lazy" year for us before the kids have to go to school and all that. As much as we have looked forward to the kids going to school and working not being so cost prohibitive for dh - we have SO looked forward to this. But even so, as the time it approaches it is a little saddening. Once the kids start school, these most carefree years of theirs will be over. We have been talking about how much we should do and enjoy with their 100% flexible schedules. That certainly won't last forever!!!!

We have also looked at the community center preschool. The only reason we did not go that route before was that the ages were a lot higher (like 4?). & we wanted to start him much sooner. We have talked about taking him to get him used to going to school every day. He could go T/Th for 2-3 hours and it is more structured. But more importantly he will meet more local kids who will go to his school probably. It's an idea, but then you go back to: why push it? It's bad enough Kinder is all day, do we really need to take him to preschool every day of the week? I think it is something we will consider the last few months before school starts, just to gear him up for it. But starting now just doesn't make sense. We certainly want to enjoy not having to shuttle him around and make him sit at a desk a good part of the day. He is only 4.

Anyway, MIL did shed some light on stuff though. My SIL works and dh's family baby sits for her for free. HEr 80-year-old grandma was babysitting "for 1 year" when their first was born. Dh and I thought it was a little tacky but whatever. 1 year has turned into 3 years - even tackier. But though we looked on in annoyance, believe me we were NEVER jealous of this scenario. Oh yeah jealous they can't even figure out how to take care of their own kids without relying heavily on poor Grandma...

Anyway, in their defense they bought a very small modest fixxer-upper that was $700k. There is only so much they can do - not like they are just lazy mooches. But I still can't believe with a baby due any day now that grandma is still it. I am amazed how well she keeps up - for sure. But I guess MIL has decided she and her mom have done so much babysitting for them that it is not fair to us. So she wanted to give us a large sum of money to make it up (like all the preschool daycare we ever paid - or maybe all we never paid). Pffffft. It's bad enough to look on and cringe and what they are doing, but to have them feel like they owe us something because of it? Are they crazy?

I go through the same thing with my parents. My mom will send my sister money and every once in a while she'll send me some and say "it's only fair. I gave money to your sister and I have to give some to you." It just annoys me. YEah my sister is a dolt who can not take care of herself. I Was just telling dh yesterday - I said we have built a life 10 times more luxurious than when my parents were my age. Why in the hell do they feel the need to give me money? Are they crazy? It's bad enough my sister is a leech- I just don't want to be one either. I guess they expect us to be jealous that our sisters need so much help. But the truth is we really aren't at all - LOL. They have probably sensed our annoyances with them, but jealousy is not the word.

But I guess that's how it goes with parents - when they are intent on being "fair."

So, I don't know, who knows where this will lead...

Am I really going to do the same thing to my kids? Probably I guess. I guess we just have to embrace it. Save all that money for when one of our kids turn into a dolt? LOL.

The worst is that MIL has been babysitting our kids like crazy this last year. I am sure we have gotten more than our fair share. Hell, for us they have to drive so far, I am pretty sure it evens out. I think they are just feeling more burned out on the constant obligation on that end.

Got the balance transfer statement for dh. They are only asking 2% so woohoo. when does this 4% thing go into effect (minimum balance?)? Plus I assume since it is based on averages that must be why they only asked for about 1% of the balance for this month. Making more money.

As far as subprime loans and all that menutia, I am at a loss to where the surprised was in all this. I though I learned a lesson in market timing as I locked in some CDs last fall, but these days not feeling so bad about that either. Rates are falling and I got about $20k locked in 5.5-5.7%. Some for a long while. I guess it can pan out bad, but latest I heard was October was a big rate adjustment month for ARMs. If people think the worst is over, ugh. IT seems to me it is just beginning. I keep reading articles that "only" 1 million people will lose their homes. "Only" 7 million... Since when do we live in a vacuum? I don't know, for a while I thought I moved too soon, I believed too much the sky was falling... These days I realize I have to give myself some credit. I guess dh said the Mad Money guy was freaking out on TV today. Where is the big surprise??? People getting too caught up in the ride up? I don't know... Dh and I have been sitting around talking about how all these credit and ARMs were going to mean a bad fall for the economy one of these days - talking about this for years. I think it was 2 years ago my broke friends started getting approved for these crazy subprime mortgages and you are like - what in the heck????? At least the ARM people stand a chance compared to them. Oh yeah - they are all going to be rich next year so it won't matter... *roll eyes*

I have $50 going to my new ROTH account tomorrow I believe. I just checked to see if it got purchased today - that would have been too perfect - to buy at a low. We'll see how the market hangs tomorrow. got money in stocks, but feel confident it is well diversified - all long-term retirement stuff. We were really going to jump in heavily come January. The timing might be good. Going back to income averaging too - it helps. Makes it all less volatile as a help. We'll see...

Oh I got our electric bill. I got an e-mail but I didn't look at it - it was $130. I think that is pretty nasty for us. Dh and I have been having a debate as I swear we always leave the air on 80 and he insists 78. (78????). Since he usually insists on 68 in the winter and I insist on 70, I didn't argue too much. We are obviously 2 degrees off - LOL. I have been switching it to 79 when I come home myself. If he doesn't notice he can't complain. & well - it is a compromise. But I think he forgot how we used to set it honestly - I don't remember keeping the house 78 at all. & the bill shows it - yeesh. august is usually our worst month so it isn't looking good, but when I told dh he got scared off and the house was 84 when I got home. That seems a bit extreme. Oh well. Well, good thing my minimum payment is only 1% this month. It helps. My efund sits at a square $12k with that payment (just transferred $150 from the BT column to the efund column - paid it out of checking). So essentially that money moves from the BT category (to be repaid) to the E-fund category. Woot.

I am about $100 under on my savings this month, but screw it. I need to sell some stuff or write or something this month. I need to save $1k more to keep my efund at $12k for the year. (Just $300/month and I have been aiming for $450?). HEck, with all the interest I only need to save 1/2, if that. So I am not going to sweat it. Some days I wonder how well I will do on this automatic saving thing. I just never really had to do it like this before... We'll see. For now I fail miserably it seems. But I have had enough windfalls to get by. I am expecting another $1k check to cover the rest of my IRS bill and also some overtime (maybe in the range of $1k - to retirement). So eh. I am bracing myself next year because when I set up automatic payments of $400/month to our IRAs there is not much I can do when one month is short. Well there is, cut back on other stuff. For now I am too used to too much savings to fall back on. Good or bad but we haven't been doing as well on retirement as we should.

On the other hand I started putting $800/month away this year for more short-term things and that has been easy peasy. I know a couple of more raises and I won't even notice. A few more thousand in cash to fall back on and it won't matter. But it will be a bit of an adjustment for a while. I am used to having more cash I guess so it is an adjustment to sock it all away in retirement (though smarter - investment returns and all). I am considering setting my goals a bit lower next year. Then again I think that is my problem. I set REALLY high goals this year, all is well, and I lose motivation. I have been REALLY relaxed all of a sudden. I guess that's good. But then again I don't want to relax the rest of the year and make it harder to get back into the swing come January. Maybe my goals just weren't aggressive enough? Or should I relax just because I Received a windfall? I don't know...

I guess it doesn't matter going forward. The balance transfers will be a good $350/month going forward and the kids will be $50 and my retirement is now set to $50 so it is all automatic. Not much I can do. The budget will have to fit all that - my entire $450 earmark for savings - every month for the rest of the year. Better slow down and breathe this month in preparation I guess. I may be bad at the automatic saving thing right now but one thing I sure as hell won't do is take money out of savings to pay my bills. So maybe there is hope for me the rest of the year.

Well, just got the gas bill - it was just under $12.

I checked when I turned down the water heater - it was exactly mid-cycle. & our gas was down over $5. That was a 30% decrease in our bill just turning the water heater down mid-month.

WOW!

What is it going to be next month? $5?

Little things do pay off apparently. Lord knows why I didn't think of this one sooner. The water can still get pretty hot too - it's just no longer scalding. I turned it way down to "warm" on this particular water heater, but it is still plenty HOT. We will turn it up in the winter, but what a way to save money in the summer. I might save like $10/month...

The interesting thing is we cook almost every day (gas stove) and we do do laundry almost every day (hot water). I could have sworn our dryer was gas too. But all of these energy efficient appliances REALLY pay off.

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I mentioned in another blog about how some people have made it in high COL areas buying homes. I mentioned how combined dh and I made $60k out of school and saved like 70% of it. I got reamed over there for being like a rich princess or something. LOL. I actually mentioned how timing was everything and I did not envy people today (a bow to how we lucked out getting in when we did. Luck certainly plays a HUGE part in our current financial situation). Someone got on a high horse and set timing had nothing to do with it - I picked a very high paying job and a spouse too - like we are going to ride off in the sunset on $200k/year or something. Then on and on how we made more than the average homewoner, etc. Totally blowing by the point how expensive homes are in the Bay Area. So yes I have to beat the dead horse again. Some other guy popped on about how he doesn't buy new cars or carry debt, blahblah blah and that's how he saved. I am like, well, I thought that was pretty self-explanatory when I Said we saved 70% of our income. You don't do that without cutting some corners. Yeesh!

Anyway, I was just peeved and rather than ruin that guy's blog with a debate that will probably fall on dead ears, let's do a math lesson.

#1 - When dh and I both made $30k/year out of school these were NOT big wages. If you want to say we were lucky to have 2 incomes - sure - I have always said it made saving VERY easy to have 2 incomes. IT certainly doesn't cost twice as much for 2 of us to live. There is tremendous benefit. However, I probably could have walked into Wal-Mart and got paid more back then. The point is the area is insanely expensive but I took a low-paying job as it was a stepping stone for my career. Honestly I think I was paid $32k and dh was $28k. I absolutely laugh at the idea of $28k as a high paying job. Teehee. We don't live in KAnsas anyway!!! Plenty of relatives who do live in Kansas, NC, etc., and I know they haven't got a clue what it is like out here - they get mesmerized by the "high wages" as well.

Secondly, let's do the math. Dh and I made $99k combined one year before we moved out of the Bay. Again, not high paying jobs. I could have made more as an administrative assistant myself, at the time.

But you say that and people assume you are filthy rich and homeownership is easy as pie.

Well, if we wanted to buy a $600k (2-bedroom major fixxer upper) say we scrounged the 20% down (what is that like $120k?).

Say, sure we waited a few more years and maneged.

$100k income - $30k taxes leaves $70k to play with (but people don't realize bigger wages mean BIGGER taxes!!!).

Minus $40k for mortgage interest (who knows what the principal would be), property taxes, and insurance. This would not even include earthquake insurance.

Leaves $30k to live on. Might sound nice, but you have a major fixxer upper to fix up in this case. Plus this is a house you probably don't want to live in the rest of your life - you will want to strive to move up to say a 3-bedroom if you have kids. (YEah I know too many people cramming 6-person families in these houses with little choice though). & also since the city is expensive and WalMart pays $30k/year to its employees, then you know EVERYTHING is expensive.

Then there is savings and retirement too.

So no, making $60k/year is not filthy rich, nor is $100k. Quite the opposite.

Rents were even worse. You couldn't live without at least $12k annual rent (& that would be a pretty crap studio apartment). But I guess that brings the point that I lived with roommates in a nice house and only paid $400/month rent through college and such, and did a lot of house sitting (free rent!). Only way I could survive on so little as we saved for a down payment. You just have to think outside the box in these situations.

Timing is everything to us. It means we could live on like 1/2 as much money, we can stay close to our family, we don't have to work so hard the rest of our life. We were able to start our family younger, etc. We couldn't have done any of this without our luck and timing. Our wage has nothing to do with it. But anyway, I guess I Was annoyed to be painted as a 2-yuppy household because that is SO not us. I admit I am going for that high-wage job but the whole point is I like it and it means I can work part-time and have most of the benefits of most full-time jobs. The point isn't because I want to hoarde a ton of money - work/life balance is very important to me. As far as my spouse, the idea of him being some upper class yuppie makes me laugh - hehe. I did not marry someone who was going to take care of me, for sure. He hasn't worked in years...

Oh well, just had to vent, and do some math. I guess it annoys me too to post how you did the impossible and just get shot down. For every argument they had against me I know someone who did it their way, but if they didn't want to hear the solution, why do they ask??? Dh has 2 cousin singles who bought homes in the Bay Area, one was a school teacher and one doesn't even have a college degree. If you put your heart and soul to it it CAN be done. It didn't require 2 wages and a fancy job, I would have bought a home in the land of expensive regardless of my situation. But why are all of us (related) buying homes when none of our peers can figure it out? Because we were raised with financial sense. IT makes all the difference...

Well, I already said the other day that with like $400k equity and six figure job I still have no idea how we could even afford a house 1/2 the size back there. The income taxes and the property taxes will eat you alive! I guess what more do I need to say - that speaks volumes!

Flat Tire #4 for the year.

I am beginning to rue the van.

My last car was a "nail in the tire" magnet and the van too. How did I get 2 in a row????

The Saturn - last car - well - it had a flat every darn week it seemed. NAils, nails and more nails. I have no idea where they come from.

The van on the other hand has picked up 2 bolts which led to some new tires and a multitude of nails. I had noticed one tire had a nail but seems okay. Had been keeping an eye on it. It was diverting my attention from the flattening tire with 2 nails in it. Ugh! at least this time we have been completely surrounded by construction and makes a little more sense. Caught it before it was a total flat at least.

In other news I drive dh's car almost every day lately (saving gas) and I am not sure if that thing has ever had a flat. How do cars do that? Evil!

I would probably come to the conclusion that the van's tires (perhaps original?) were pure crap. I even looked up reviews wondering after so many flats so early in the year. Then again, you figure would any tire really withstand all this abuse? I think I am just unlucky when it comes to tires for whatever reason. No flats in 2006 either - so weird.

Dh took care of it for me - that is the swell part.

Here's to no more flat tires in 2007. 4 is plenty.

Now that I think about it I think dh did have a flat this year too. They will be doing construction by our home for a while so maybe we should just get used to it. Makes it 5 already then, combined. The nails aren't nearly so bad and costly as those nasty bolts.

Seriously, who has this many flat tires though? When we moved here our entire street was under construction and the entire neighborhood for years but we didn't get flats like this. Bah.

http://www.thestreet.com/s/save-now-and-your-life-may-be-non...

Maybe you have all seen this.

It has probably been reamed all over the internet 10 times over already. But I just have to chime in.

Huh????

IS it really that impossible to save $4k of a $40k paycheck?

Um, would you rather live with roommates in your 20s or for the rest of your life, because I didn't really mind it when I was first out of college. I was used to it, I Was young, and yeah I had to suffer the discomfort another year or so before we could buy a home. But it was so WELL worth it. It is like a little sacrifice for more later. If i had to do it for a few years, so be it.

I just roll my eyes that single unattached 20s can't possibly save 10% of their income.

I do have to admit that I did not put a huge priority on saving for my retirement in my 20s. Sometimes I regret it a bit, sometimes not. But I guess we lucked out saving all of our money to a house which was our best investment like ever. Just has bought us tremendous financial freedom. But yeah, driving the old clunkers, living with roommates, eating ramen noddles, etc. is far more suited to a single unattached 20-year-old than a family of 4 or someone of middle-age. I mean come on.

I guess I just don't get the whole instant gratification thing as I find not falling it for it has been far more rewarding in my own life. IT means you don't live up to your income, you have more time for your money to compound, you pay less to debts, etc. These are all of the benefits of saving young.

Maybe I could agree with this guy a bit. I really never saw the point of saving money while I was in college and I don't regret it a bit. But this is more of an anti-debt thing. I felt my energies were far more productive to getting good grades in school and avoiding debt than to building up cash that I didn't have. The whole point was to take a risk and lay the foundation for the rest of my life.

So anyway, maybe I could agree to some point where I can say I was successful not saving money from really early on. As long as I hit it gangbusters right out of college it really made no difference in the end. So maybe I could kind of sort of see his point. But I am still at a loss why $40k is such an impossible wage to save money on. I know plenty people living in San francisco making less and saving more. It's one thing to make an excuse not to save when you are trying to pay for college (for the whole point of a bigger wage) and pay for rent in an insanely expensive area. It's quite another to make excuses when you are out in the real world, because then really when are the excuses going to end? IF you're not worried about paying for college and having enough time and energy to keep up your grades, what the hell are you doing. I guess I am also a big believer in saving as much as I can while I am young and healthy in case something happens to me and I can no longer work. I don't exactly take it as given that I will be able to work in this capacity forever. You just can't.

OF course someone who doesn't believe in saving in their 20s and doesn't see how they can live a comfortable lifestyle on $40k/year (yes I realize it is NY but my hood is actually more expensive) well, they will have problems. If I could find some decent benefits for healthcare (like one of the abundant government jobs around here) I could support my family of 4 on $40k easy peasy. We could live QUITE well actually. I mean, is this guy for real? Um, the reason is because I Saved so much in my 20s - even more ironic. It means I didn't buy a ton of crap I didn't need, live up to a lifestyle I couldn't afford, or rack up any consumer debt. I am not sure driving older cars and living with hand-me-downs will ruin my life in comparison to the tremendous financial freedom we share compared to most of our peers. But you know putting up with less in our 20s means we no longer have to. Plus, gosh, the most ironic part is I agree with his philosophy. You do need balance in your life. sometimes it is good to enjoy now while you are young and healthy. I guess that is the whole point for my financial goals right now - I want to work less while I am young. That sounds far more pleasing than retiring fully at 65. So far we were significantly able to pull that off at 25 because we did some crazy saving in our young 20s. I mean neither of us has really worked very much the last 5 years since we decided to have kids. I am just ramping up again, focusing on retirement and such.

I guess the big thing where I have to draw the line or disagree is that money will buy you happiness. Like my kids care if we walk down to the park and go down to the public pool every day or if we spend our days at Chuck E Cheese. Does it matter if I drive a $20k car or a $1k car? Does it matter if I have all new items in my house or mostly used? Does it matter that we eat home cooked meals every day instead of eating out? Does any of this have an impact of the quality of my life? Not at all... Once you realize that savings in your 20s is not a big deal at all, and you will find your 20s FAR more pleasant. Then it should just get easier from there.

But hey, what do I know?

He says, "If you really believe you can get through your 20s like that and not be absolutely miserable later in life, be my guest."

Um yeah, I think for MANY of us here saving while we were young (going that extra mile when we were young) really made life easier later in life. I guess it is frustrating to see how he has it all backwards. It is easiest to clamp down on your finances when you are single, in your 20s and completely unencumbered. You should have more youth on your side to work more and live in more difficult situations. Plus you won't be letting your debt compound for years AND your savings will also be compounding for YEARS. win-win-win.

Gosh, sometimes you just have to rant.

$21,000... 7 cards...

New running balance. Got 2 more cards in the mail today (plus some I was expecting). One was a jewelry store. Surprise surprise.

Fraud departments closed AND no live people to speak to either card. So at least it was fast and easy to close the cards (automated). But I will have to call back Monday to get this taken care of.

I think this is going to be way more massive than I first suspected.

On the bright side, all this places are on EST time and I usually awaken from 5-6. At least I don't have to spend my days at work straightening this crap out. A plus to being on the west coast. However, significantly cuts into some of my only free time and writing time.

I am just scared to know what else is out there. I got something in the mail from a bank and was like, oh lord! But it was the bank who issues Lowes cards - a form about the fraud investigation - phew...

All I can say is thank goodness this did not happen during tax season. I would probably just flip out from the stress.

It's almost a bane and a curse that they are using my address, since all of this is caught before it hits my credit it isn't a bump on my credit BUT it makes it that much more easy for them to get credit. I REALLY hope the fraud alert and/or credit freeze helps... I have to assume these were open before I found out about this whole mess...

-----------------------------------

On the plus side I have more energy today than I have had for MONTHS!!!!! I am REALLY feeling good about this whole gym thing. It is helping my mood and stress tremendously. I am just surprised how fast, but I have been going to aerobics for a while though, so I guess I just had to kick it up a notch.

Um okay. I feel like a dolt for being so cheap when it comes to the gym. On top of the foundation I have been laying with aerobics I have been shaping up fast. I feel like my waistline is already improving.

Thursday night dh and I had a little date at the gym.

He got a break from the kids during the week at the gym.

We both really needed some alone time and "alone" together time so just so awesome.

But last night was the kicker. You know I am obviously terribly busy and when the kids wake up all hours of the night and we are both just exhausted there is not much time for romance. But yesterday dh just smelled DIVINE. I finally asked him - are you wearing some new deoderant or something? He has not smelled so good since the day we met - LOL. I was feeling some extra chemistry there. Even funnier he said no but he was about to ask me the same thing. I'll have to do a web search. But we both concluded maybe our phermones were being upped by all the exercise. I mean sure we have both been sweating more, but it is not a smell good sweat in general - LOL. So I don't know. I also fine I have more energy, etc. I think I could go on all day about the benefits of exercise, but beyond the benefits I already knew I think this could be good for our marriage - hehe.

Anyway, today I am ambitious. Aerobics in the a.m. but we are going to proceed with our morning date at the gym. Don't worry I will take it easy. I was actually not sore yesterday and kind of in the mood to hit the gym last night. But no time. But I'll probably hit it tomorrow too - just no daycare tomorrow so we if we want a little date we have to go today - in the morning.

Oh I also tried the elliptical for the first time. Those are GREAT. I love running but have an old leg injury and am pretty cautious about only walking. We'll see if I can get by with this and not aggravate my leg. I am not sure if it is the motion or the impact - probably a little of both as too much walking really aggravates it. We spend a good amount of time stretching in aerobics which helps. So one reason I want to stick with it. Second my leg starts bothering me I am screwed. I have to spend so much time stretching there is just not enough hours in the day. Hoping I can work past it. Probably one reason I dropped the gym so long ago. So we'll see.

Dh bought some software (kid computer games) at the store - free after rebate. Woohoo. ($10 in the meantime).

Work is crazy. But I got an article out, had some quality time with dh, hit the gym. It is all helping my stress level a bit. I even arranged a play date with the kids this weekend. I have been so bad about that. I had a friend who moved though way across the county so it has been forever. BM doesn't even remember them - we'll see how it goes. I need to be better about being social. Sometimes I feel all I have time for is my family, which is mostly fine. I think too lately I figure kids start school soon and will be meeting more local people. But this is my favorite person I met in Sacramento. You know when everyone I knew was whining they couldn't take maternity leave because they employer didn't pay them (as if mine did? Save up some money - duh!!!). Anyway, one day we were sitting and chatting about my impending maternity leave with LM and she said in Texas there was no state disability and so she saved up x% from her check every week so she could stay home a few months. I almost fell over. Her and her husband neither have college degrees and they had their first child very young (16?) but they bend over backwards to raise their 3 kids and be there for them, etc. They whine less about their finances than most people making 6 figures. They do a lot of bartering and take on a lot of odd jobs. Really an inspiration. I think she makes a decent wage in graphic design and they are both very talented in different things so I hope one day they finish their degrees and can make some money. Just a breath of fresh air after hanging around a bunch of moms talking about their McMansions, six figures, new cars, $3k vacations and how jealous they are that I could stay home. Whatever!!!! Anyway, I have been on a lot of online communities and met a lot of moms around here. All of them were always insanely jealous when I took my maternity leaves. I mean yeah, I had it easy, we got disability which was almost $3k a month. Frankly it paid all of our bills. & even then I took some unpaid time off but I had saved up a load of cash for the event. I mean I'd be an idiot not to. What if I had been put on bed rest at week 12? That is what I was terrified of more than anything. But yeah the general concensus was if someone else didn't pay for it, they weren't going to bother (entitlement). For the people online they all assumed the state of CA was the only reason I could swing it. (IT certainly helped but I would have swung it regardless). For people here, the story is the same. The best yet was some teacher whining she didn't have state disability. Well she's an idiot then. She chose not to have it. IT's a CHOICE! When you choose not to take it you also don't have a few hundred withheld from your check every year so you can go buy private insurance if you think you are going to have kids. Or you can save some money. I mean the scary thing is these are 2nd wages!!! Can't live without a second wage for a month? Scary!

So yeah, breath of fresh air...

Oh - I almost forgot!!!

We're going to Vegas.

Vegas is the epitome of cheap vacation for us. Hardly paid more than $50 to fly or more than $30/night. Just the land of cheap vacation, and helps to live close enough to drive too. Though I am not sure I have ever had to myself with airfare deals.

Anyway, we went to one of those timeshare presentations one time in Vegas and it was just like, whatever. We were staying at the Hilton for $30/night (no real special promo - just the rate for that time) and we are just like WHY would we pay $15k for a timeshare when the Hilton is $30/night. ????? Timeshare in Vegas? Ha! Whose bright idea was that? Oh I guess they sucker people in anywhere, but obviously the whole thing was ENTIRELY lost on us. They begged us to take the thing for like $5k but in the end we walked away with $50 in poker chips. I remember we both walked off thinking who would buy a timeshare in Vegas? Just doesn't make sense. You go for the casinos (or at least somewhere on the strip!) and you can get pretty cheap/nice accomodations pretty easily.

Anyway, yesterday I was listening to the radio and was just half-listening but was getting all sucked in by the anemities at this fancy resort in Vegas. They said first few callers would get 3 free nights. I figure odds were slim OR there'd be a huge catch, but what the hell. I have to say very weird and out of character for me.

So I called and immediately found out the catch - the place is a timeshare. LOL. But I listened to the spiel and for a $100 deposit we can go any time in the next few months.

I honestly thought though we would get to stay at this resort and this is where I was fooled. IT was "a major hotel/casino on the strip" as the e-mail states. Well darn. I did get a little fooled.

But when they said it was a timeshare I was relieved - well I KNOW what the catch is!!!!!

The deposit is refundable once we sit through their stupid presentation. I will be interested to report how low they beg us to take this one for. It's Vegas, they can't be getting many bites...

Plus our schedule is pretty flexible so since we can go any time pretty much I figured what the hell. If this was mid-tax-season I'd feel different. I guess we'll see how easy it is to get a weekend date, but we'll roll with it.

Anyway, I probably would have not done it, but it was Vegas and I figured ifnothing else we could drive. Not like it has to be expensive. What's wrong with 3 free nights??? They help pay for travel too... I have quite a few months to find an airfare deal too - which I just might! I think we'll aim for December...

I am excited!

I told dh I bet a million bucks were staying at the Saraha. We usually stay there because it is CHEAP!!!! (Sometimes even Motel 6). So anyway, if we stay anywhere else it will probably be a step up. Low expectations and these things are a steal - hehe!!!!

I have been more committed to getting in some overtime (took me a while to give in after dreams of a lazy summer, but the pay is motivating I must admit).

So I earned around $260 last couple of weeks and will probably work 5 hours today (& earn around $130). Puts me up to almost $400 (this is all after-tax). Boss will pay it in a bonus, lord knows when. If nothing else will get it 12/31 and hopefully can put it to IRA. Though I must admit I may find other uses for it. We'll see...

Grandma also gives us $1k every Christmas. Ever since we had the kids anyway. Last year I put it to short-term savings as I was just starting to get that under control. I was looking forward to just putting it to our IRAs this year. Just gravy savings - retirement. Unfortunately, I think I may end up using that for the IRS - for my last ROTH conversion. It's awesome to have it to fall back on and all, but I really want to get to the point where all these kinds of windfalls go straight to our IRAs or investments. I am not sure if I will get there this year, but if I make a goal to earn $1k from OT maybe I can use that for the IRS and put grandma's check in the bank. We'll see. Next year I want to put BOTH to dh's IRA which could mean we would only have to come up with $200/month more to max out his IRA. It's an interesting idea. $200/month sounds much easier to stomach than $400. I guess it is still a distinct possibility that we will max out both IRAs next year. But I think it would have to be a good year with little unexpected. What are the odds of that???

Then again I don't want to have to work OT all year either... We'll see. The nice thing is I get paid well.

I cleaned up my office Friday and it helps me to see straight. I think I realized part of the reason I have been so stressed out is that I have so many piles of undone tasks. IT is VERY frustrating. In the past I did not have so much responsibility so I guess it is still being in this adjustment phase. I made a deal with myself to try to spend 1 hour a day doing the crap that has no deadline and sits piling up in the corner. IT stressed me out so much just to have so much hanging over my head. It doesn't help that someone just quit and all the menial tasks I have been giving her fall back on my lap. So I will try. 1 hour a day to menial/non-deadline/non-chargeable items. To know that I will get to take home $26 for each of those hours I think will help. I'll feel better, make some progress, and make some money.

I foresee working 2 more Saturdays/weekends as well. After this weekend. I am not sure if it is entirely necessary but I have PLENTY to do and I can't relax until I feel more caught up. So we'll see. I am hoping I get to a point where I don't feel like I am drowning, and that I can take a couple of days off.

In other news we went to the gym yesterday and LM flipped out. Unfortunately the downfall was when I heard a child screaming over the whir of the machines and thought it was him. Dh went to check. It turns out it wasn't him, but when he saw dh he flipped out and demanded to go home. We tried to leave him a while longer but that was it. IT was kind of nice the way the daycare was that it was open so you could hear what was going on, easy to peak in if you went to get some water or use the bathroom. & if you just worked out towards the door you can keep an eye and make sure no one walks out with your kid. It was a good setup. I am not sure how good the security was in there, but the place is small enough you will know if your kid is unhappy or see if they tried to run out the door. So overall I was pleased with it. BM is still with grandma and so though unfortunately we trauamatized LM, hopefully he will not mind going back with BM. I figure next time I might have to sit in there with them for a while until he acclimates and just sneak out or something. He gets trauamatized easily so maybe it was a bad move to attempt it without BM. I don't know. I assume once he gets more familiar with the place and realizes it isn't so bad, and we are right there, that he will calm down and be able to go alone. But we'll see. Dh was griping that he thinks he will only go during the days to get out of the house with the kids, and this may ruin it. But frankly he will be kidless one day a week and BM only goes one other day a week. He could technically go 4 days a week if he can get LM to calm down with BM's presence. We'll see how it works out...

I will probably go work out today. I am pleased - think it is rather convenient. Could be a 10 minute drive with lights but I can pretty much just pop in and out and get a 30-minute workout every morning. I still haven't decided what schedule to take there.

It was funny - I have not been in a gym in about 6-7 years. I felt like a kid in a candy store. Fancy. It's just amazing how all the equipment has come. They also have TVs on much of the equipment and stuff which makes it a little more interesting. I got my MP3 player - I would really like to get some books or podcasts on it though. I think my music selection will get boring after a while. We'll see.

I got a bill in the mail for my disability. I just upped it to $4k/month benefit, which is AWESOME!!!! I think $4k would pretty much cover all of our bills but not preschool and some of the extras. Oh well. The coverage is really cheap (& good) through my professional association but they limit it to x percent of pay. I forget the percent, but I just bumped it up from $3500 to $4k and I feel much better about it. I need to check how long that pays out. If for life, we are well covered. If not, it wouldn't exactly cover retirement. But I think if I was disabled we could cut back our lifestyle all the same. Of course it is good to check the terms of the policy and exactly what it entails. I knew at one time but I don't remember now.

The bill was $15 for the increase (for the year). Not bad. I'll keep upping it as I can... It costs me maybe $200/year. Well worth it.

I have a professional dues bill to pay. It's for like $160 but my boss will reimburse right away. I'll throw it on the card for the cash back and just pay it with the next bill (prepay) so I don't get tempted to spend it. Or forget why I have another $160 in my checking - which happens sometimes. LOL.

THe hard part is they always ask for x dollars for political action committees and y dollars for scholarships and on and on and on. In past years I have mostly ignored them as I have spent a lot of time not working. But I have to decide how much to contribute. I think all of the things are important. Believe it or not much of the political action stuff is SIMPLIFYING the tax code. Well needed... Which reminds me I have been reading how all the presidential candidates say they want to change the tax code and it makes me cringe. I have had enough - LOL. Gah. It makes it frustrating to plan anything around taxes - you realize how futile the endeavor really is. Tax planning... Oxymoron.

I have to pay the diaper service and the phone bills - throw them on the card. I think then I'll be done for the month. Overall was a good month.

Oh yes and the gym opened today. We are going to go tomorrow and check out the daycare with LM. We'll see how that goes. HE is still small enough I am not sure how I feel. Particularly since his brother won't be with him. Grandma kidnapped him for most of the week... We'll get him back Sunday. The kids together I'll worry less. Hopefully they like it and we can drop them off often!

The stock market is ugly, but I am rather unmoved. I noticed the thread about the 1987 stock market. I can't say I know much about it as a whole (how bad it was how it affected the economy, etc.) since I was only 10. BUT 2001 was pretty ugly around here. I remember it well. IT was a good lesson. But then again the world didn't end. I was thinking today though that the dot com crash and all that was particularly bad in this area with the whole high tech thing and living in Silicon Valley at the time. I hardly know anyone who wasn't out of work at that time. (Except me - which gives me confidence that my job is rather recession proof). & we lost a LOT of money in stocks, and it was just ugly all around. Dh's employer was high tech and at least they did lots of unpaid time off rather than outright lay him off. But since we moved to Sacramento he was the first one eventually cut by a lay off from there.

Anyway, with the whole subprime/foreclosure thing it of course affects this area more than most areas of the country. So once again it will probably hit harder here. Which is interesting. I guess it makes sense though where so much of the wealth congregates, on the flip side so does so much volatility. It's interesting so many people seemed to have not learned anything around here since 2001... I can't exactly say I haven't seen the writing on the wall with this whole mortgage thing for a LONG while myself.

Anyway, this time, we have played our cards different (lots of diversification), and we have recovered enough from last time to know life goes on. But on the other side we really don't have that much in stocks. Not a large percentage of our assets as a whole. We were actually going to start contributing heavily next year and the more the market goes down, the better for us to jump in. I imagine though with youth and time on my side, and LITTLE in stocks, it is a lot easier to stomach. I am thinking ahead to the future. I think in the middle, when we start to build some decent investments, but are nowhere near retiring or millionaires, I imagine I will have a harder time riding out some of these waves. IT will be interesting to see I guess. It seems on the bottom end of the spectrum we don't have much to lose and on the high end, well the same thing. Not as much to lose... For now my insanely conservative side helps - I will always have more in cash than we probably should. But it helps us ride this wave too...

Yeesh.

Was just seeing some discussion on another forum about some guy moving to the most expensive city in th US (which he appeared to be well aware of this fact - talking about San Francisco) and was asking for advice on rent ranges. But it was funny because he demanded all sorts of fancy stuff that I would never dream of affording in San Francisco. He asked if a 4 bedroom for $1500 was reasonable (he had seen an ad). ?????? Where in hell is he looking? Of course someone obviously from the area mentioned that a studio apartment would run a good $1k (not luxury by any means either) and 1-2 bedrooms would probably be in the $2k range. Um yeah, in San Jose our condo would have rented for $3k/month but luxury - hardly. I thought SF was more expensive (though not by much). HArdwood floors, granite countertops, and washer/dryer??? Is he for real? I have never seen apartments like these since most people my age were renting hell holes in the $1k range. & our condo though a decent size had nothing in the realm of that. So I would guess what he is looking for will cost him a good $3k-$5k/month. He didn't say how many bedrooms he needed but it was clear that the thought of a studio hadn't crossed his mind.

But hey, he heard the wages were good. WHo cares that the rent is $50k a year if you can get a 10% raise?

He then came back later whining he only had to pay $800 or something for a luxury apartment where he lives now. ???? He said so himself he heard it was expensive. SO why is he surprised that it is REALLY expensive?

I suggested he come look at some apartments and jobs before he decides to move cross country for these "bigger wages."

I don't know, it just annoys me. We have $400k equity in our house and I could probably get a $20k-$30k annual raise easy to move back to the Bay Area, now that I have more experience under my belt. I still have to say I have no idea how we could afford a house even 1/2 the size of ours down there, even with all that to boot. I honestly feel bad about these people getting sucked in. But then you wonder, have they done ANY research?

Oh he was also saying he demanded A/C which went over my head. Someone else pointed that one out. There is no, nor there needs to be no AC in SF. Gah. Is he going to show up in shorts and tanks? because he might just freeze his ass off.

Oh, I am sorry to rant on and ream the guy. I guess mostly I Don't understand how people can make such a rash decision to move across the country with such little info. & with little regard that maybe the most expensive city is more expensive than you imagined. I don't get what is so shocking about the rents. Has he heard of NY? DC? There are plenty of cities that rival SF, unforunately.

I probably mentioned before but we had all sorts of accountants moving in from other states to SF and surrounding area for a $35k wage because it was so grand compared to back home ($30k back home???). They never lasted very long. They always said, "We heard it was expensive but we had no idea." After a while you wonder why the HR is even bothering with them. A giant revolving door. Wasn't the kind of industry that brings significant more wages, not at that level anyway - fresh out of college and all... ANother $20k-$30k/year at this level hardly does much once you pay uncle sam and property taxes - forget about the mortgage...

So anyway, being bitter that I can not figure out how to live in the city I grew up, without great financial risk anyway, I get extra annoyed when people get all excited about the prospect of the wages. It pretty much makes me sick. If you are in the tech industry, you just might make it. But you ain't going to start out in a luxury apartment - for sure. You're gonna live somewhere pretty supbpar and it is still going to be insanely expensive.

Still sound appealing?

IT was funny when we moved here because we always got a lot of questions why we moved. I had a friend who asks me over and over like she doesn't remember. She has been to my parents' home. One day she was asking me again why we moved here. In her head it is expensive HERE so she just doesn't get it. I finally said one day, "um, my parent's house is a million dollar home." You can tell she didn't believe me. "Your parent's house????" That old, little thing??? When she realized I was serious I think her eyes were about going to pop out of her head. I also had a coworker tell me if his wife got a job offer at Stanford they would so move to Palo Alto. He didn't understand why we would ever leave. I asked him how he was going to aford the $1 million starter home? He looked at me blankly. Not to mention he had something like 10 kids. Yeah - a whopping 20% raise is worth paying an extra $800k for a home 1/2 the size???? Did you figure property taxes would be $10k/year or so? People just don't GET IT! Like they figure anyone who doesn't see the joy in the Bay Area is a raving lunatic. We couldn't know what we are talking about. It couldn't be that expensive! Guess you gotta see to believe it or something...

Since I can't comment on my last blog I had to say this in reply to BA who said: "All my friends from all walks of life have had this belief that jobs equated to self worth." The thing about my husband is he feels that way too. So when he gets dejected from that first job he looked at he retreats in the corner and sulks. That is the part I will NEVER understand. My family is so opposite of that. We brush ourselves off and try try again. Anything is possible.

I just had to say he does take care of me and does so much for me non-financially so I don't want to be too 1-sided. But when I am frustrated of course that is the only side I see or need to rant about. But yeah he told me if I wanted to quit or cut my hours he would support me. But Fern guessed right, I am too cautious to do anything like that until he gets a job, and I know I will have a LONG wait.

I was pondering this today though because like I said it is important for me not to raise my sons the same way. Mommy always took care of him so though he has a good work ethic, and once he lands a job he could be a great asset. We actually met working together and I Really admired him because he became management right away. He is no lazy slob. But he just has no skills whatsoever in how to get a job. & you are right he hasn't had to learn. Mommy took care of him until I did. He never had to take care of himself. I cringe because MIL is very take-charge, and frankly if I am honest with myself, MUCH like me. (We really butt heads as such since we're so alike). Then again my parents always expected me to take care of myself, and I plan to raise my boys the same. I don't want to be caring for them like they are still babies, when they are 20... So there is hope for them. Somehow I turned out more like my dad than my mom...

The thing is it is what I signed up for and what I wanted. It bugged me he was persuing a career he hated because his "mommy wanted him to" so all I have been telling him for the last decade is quit working. LOL. Now he quits working and I am bugging him the other way I guess. He probably feels like he can't win.

I was pondering this too today because my parents are much the same, genders reversed. My mom just could not take care of herself. But my dad has always taken good care of her. But she provides so much to him by keeping up the house and such so he doesn't have to worry about the mundane things so much. It goes much the same with my spouse. I could go on and on all day for all the things he does for me. I mean I don't remember the last time I had to go grocery shopping or cook a meal. & I do LOVE that. He does all the laundry and takes such wonderful care of the kids. So I have to defend him a little bit lest I paint him to be a lazy slob or anything. I am the one more likely to come home from work beaten down and tired and go lay on the couch all evening, go to bed early, and ask him to get the kids in the middle of the night. & he won't complain about it, most of the time. I could hardly imagine anything worse than being home all day with the kids. I would just go batty and he does that for me. Even though it hurts his pride somewhat that he can not support his family (well he believes he can't).

Well mostly I swear he ain't so bad and truly I enjoy taking care of him 99% of the time. I think things will change a lot in the next year. I think if we are still going round and round on this when the kids are in school, then we'll have issues. But he is really limited on what he can do right now with my work schedule. Hopefully he finds it easier to step up to the plate more when he has more free time during the week. He may be able to do some temp work or substitute teaching. Stuff he can't do without the money, and even less so the inclination, to put LM in daycare, today. I can hang in another year and see. I am not going to give up hope or anything. If he never works another day in his life, then I may have some issues though. For now it is rather complicated. Of course the only thing worse than him never working again is settling for some crap job he hates. So we may just go round and round on this forever. He still really hasn't gotten the courage to put himself out there and do what he truly wants to do. & that may just frustrate me forever. I am not sure what more I can do. Have tried pushing him, supporting him, leaving him alone to do his own thing because the last thing he needs is another "mom." Nothing seems to make much difference. HE was working on that movie and I was happy for him, but things seem to have fizzled, that whole waiting for stuff to fall in his lap thing because maybe this one isn't working out.

Looks like I will make about $80 interest for July. Received a $40 credit today from MM and my CD will be up $40 in a few days. Plus a few pennies here and there from my other accounts. My big BT was only in the account for a few days. So next month will be the most lucrative BT month - expecting more like $120 interest. woohoo!!!

Well my expense reducing streak is done for the moment. Insurance down, water down. But the last sewer bill had a 8% rate increase. We used to pay $60 every other month, and now it is $65.

The $200 sign-up charge for the gym hit our credit card (as well as the HP book refund. Oh after many calls our book finally arrived yesterday - much drama. We had both finished reading it before it arrived - borrowing 2 diferent books - but was good and will keep for our library). Anyway, gym... Hmmmmm. We have been so good at saving first and living on a tighter budget I am for once at a loss where to come up with $200. I have been really lazy on the ebay/craigslist selling so I have a few weeks to cough up the money. Will hit it from that angle. Sell sell sell. we have $200 to sell easy. Regardless where it comes from I feel it was a very important investment and I knew we could cough up the cash. Don't worry, I am not going to make a habit of buying things outside the budget. Eagerly waiting for christmas to cough up the $200 for unlimited childcare for "life" which will make the gym THAT much more appealing. We'll try it out first, hope the kids do okay with it.

Other than that I just feel BLAH lately. I am sick of working full-time. I want to speed up my part-time time table by about a decade. LOL. I just have to hang tight. Slow and steady wins the race. I think mostly I was so looking forward to an easy summer. Since it has been anything but, I am in a funk. Dh isn't helping. I allowed him to buy his stupid TV if he would cough up the money because it was a really stupid thing to do really. But as usual he applies for one job, doesn't get it, and the world might as well end. I think I am just peeved with him lately, or taking it out on him. Both probably. I am still sick of bringing in so much side money on top of my FT job and his inability to bring in a dime. I am kind of at a loss with him because he always worked many jobs through college and save save saved. Looking back he was always working where his friends got him jobs. He used to make fun of me "wasting all that time" in professional sororities in clubs. Whatever, all I have to do is pick up a phone to get a job with all the contacts I have made. I had 5 job offers the day I graduated college. Yeah, what a waste of time *rolls eyes*. All his friends still work for minimum wage. The only silver lining is the whole TV subject came up again last night. I had mentioned before that Dave Ramsey always mentions delivering pizzas as a great part-time job for paying debts, etc. Told him to go get a job for a couple of months and then be done. If it isn't so bad he could keep it to fund his ROTH going forward. Anyway, some days he says he will do anything (even fast food) to help but his actions speak louder than words. Don't see him putting a lot of effort in a job search. But when we were talking last night he mentioned his cousin who is out of the work (much the same - a lot of brains but unable to find a job for whatever reason - no college degree to boot in his case - lord I hope my sons don't end up like these guys please...). But anyway, he is doing pizza delivery in Sacramento 2 nights a week and dh said he found with his GPS he could make more money because he could deliver more in shorter time. I could see the wheels turning like maybe he realizes it isn't the craziest idea after all (well duh). But then again I get the feeling if he gets a job like that he will want to buy a GPS first. Which mostly defeats the purpose. LOL. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. Yeesh!!!!

Seriously, I am not sure I know 2 people smarter than him and his cousin really but they are just about dead end jobs for the most part while all the women in the family (most in their 20s) make close to six figures. It is a little bizarre. My frustration with dh is he applies for 1 job and gives up. Lord help him some day when he NEEDS a job. Waiting for jobs to fall into your lap just doesn't cut it, and he never seemed to have got the memo.

Anyway, if he could help me a bit I Think I could go to part-time now, or within the year, but I just don't have much faith in any help. So that is putting me in a funk too. Lord knows he is not happy being home full-time and it would help both of us if he could find some work. But whatever. We had a talk about it today. I don't expect much to come of it. He knows how I feels. IT's up to him.

I was starting to see a silver lining at work and maybe feel caught up, but someone quit yesterday. It's dismal here... Back to square one. IF people would just stop quitting AND there were qualified candidates it wouldn't be so dismal. It's a catch 22. Pay is good but stress is high. Maybe in a few years we'll get more CPAs/accountants. YEesh. In 2000 we were offered bonuses of 1/3 our annual salary to find qualified candidates. These days I get paid twice as much and I bet that bonus is much more - who knew it would get so bad. I thought it was bad then! Now they are saying 75% of CPAs in the country will be of retirement age in the next decade. Just a little crazy.

Sure I picked the right career, if I wanted to work ALL the time. I value work/life balance too much but struggle with everything my family demands of me for now. I think with things as the way they are though I will probably get a few more raises and will be able to take a much lesser job or cut back my hours significanly for good pay, in just a few years. I think that is the other reason dh and I have been butting heads. He wants much more materialism out of life than I do. Not a ton, but I would be happy to cut back my hours today and downsize our house. He would think I Was insane to suggest it. *sigh* Then again I keep telling myself what if I coul have all this and a part-time job at 35. It may be possible. How many people can say that?

In the meantime the overtime pay is sweet. I like my job enough I don't mind coming in on a saturday. Miss the kids, but don't mind the work. Hanging in there and saving that overtime for now!

But just a glimpse into all the thoughts running through my head of late.

What I find interesting is there is a huge woman demographic when it comes to CPAs. As they pay more, more women are just happy to work less and spend more time with their kids. Every woman (but I) in this office works part-time while all the men are FT management. I am somewhere in the middle since my spouse doesn't work I guess. But it is not a pure gender gap/discrimination thing. The woman are happy to work part-time. They want to. They demand it. Some days I wonder how much Full-time CPAs will be paid to encourage them to work full-time. Or maybe they'll have to pay less to draw in more full-time workers. A strange dynamic where mostly I don't find I will be hitting any pay ceiling in the near future. The pay is still not enough to draw people in so I will probably get another few 10% raises and expect six figures without any management duties. When I graduated college in 1999 you wouldn't make more than $40k at a job like this. It's a little insane. I keep seeing bookeeper jobs listed in Craigslist for $65k. Strangely appealing to me (very low stress!!!!). $65k ain't no chump change!!!! I am blessed to have so many options. Then again some days you figure this can't last forever (we will draw in more talent at these wages) and I should make as much as I can while I am young and jobs are so easy to come by... IT's a strange/mostly good dynamic for now. But I don't want to be forced working into long hours forever either, feeling there is little choice because it is impossible to find or retain employees. An interesting catch 22. I am trying to focus on the good for now. If it wasn't so crazy I Wouldn't be paid so well, so I do have to keep that in mind. IT may speed me to earlier semi-retirement which I am aiming for at 40...

On other days though when I don't see my kids for most of the week it is hard to not get peeved with the whole current work/life balance situation. Just have to look at the big picture I guess...

Well, we have quite the Harry Potter saga over here. But in the end our book is free (minus shipping I guess - a few bucks?).

Dh stayed home all day yesterday to accept delivery of his book.

In the meantime his mom passed through Friday on the way to their cabin near Tahoe because her sister had some thing to go to. She is a nun who lives in So Cal for now so they drive her around to these things (conferences?). & the kids LOVE her so they had fun. She handed dh a $20 bill and asked him to go run to Target in the morning and pick up the HP book since she wouldn't be near any stores. However, she called him around 8 and said nevermind because the wal-mart closest to them opened at 7am and they decided they couldn't wait. But she wanted to babysit LM for a few days and will be babysitting my 3yo niece as well, until Wednesday. They stopped by yesterday morning so we could have LM back for the day though and dropped off her book - said to enjoy - she just wants it back Wednesday when we trade off kids. She doesn't imagine she'll have much time to read with the 2 little ones in the meantime...

Thank goodness for this!!!!!

In the meantime no book had arrived and so dh got a head start with her book.

Around 4pm his impatience probably paid off as he called UPS and they told him "we just couriered the books from amazon to USPS - we are not going to deliver them."

What the foo???? Our mail had already arrived so obviously we were not getting our copy yesterday.

We had bought the last 3-4 books through amazon this way and they always arrive first thing in the morning on the day of release, through UPS. I mean, that is the whole point of the pre-order - so it gets delivered to your doorstep on Day 1! & we have been VERY pleased with Amazon in the past.

Dh was livid and he scours his old e-mails for confirmation when he reserved this book MONTHS ago. In fact the original email read it would be shipped UPS and that if it did not arrive on the day of release that we would be entitled to a full refund.

HE had already sent an angry e-mail about the whole UPS debacle before he found the delivery date guarantee.

Amazon pretty much wrote back right away that they were refunding the $18 (We still pay $5 shipping). But they pretty much sent a from letter stating, "Are you sure that your neighbor didn't take your book off your doorstep?" LOL. THey did not acknowledge in the least that they actually did not use UPS - for our shipment anyway. What the foo is that about anyway? Since when do you pay for UPS delivery and get US mail????

They also asked if we were sure the book was not misplaced or stolen that we could request another copy. Don't really see the point unless it never shows. IT will be interesting to see if, and how, it arrives Monday. IF it arrives US mail I am not sure why we have to pay $5 for shipping. Bah.

But we get a "free" book out of the deal and it matters little since MIL's book is here. I have read 200 pages so far... I skimmed the end so I have an idea what happens. But it's kind of no fun because I can't discuss it with anyone. I am a fast reader so though I am time crunched I think I will finish it by next weekend. Since LM is off with granmda I intend to work quite a few hours today and will probably find a few hours of reading too - though dh and I are fighting over the book today. I hope he finishes it tomorrow since he will be kidless for the day... So I can just take it to work and read a few chapters through lunch.

I think my tune has changed since yesterday. I was kind of "eh" on the whole thing, but then of course I had to pick it up and now I can't put it down.

It's a little bittersweet because the last 2 books came out around the week both my children were born. It's weird to be reading Harry Potter without an infant in one arm - LOL. Of course along the same lines, I don't remember much in the details at all - past books. You know the whole no sleep with infants thing probably explains a lot. Maybe I'll remember this one a little more. LOL.

Patience is a virtue, but unfortunately not a virtue my husband has. Lord I hope my kids don't get that from him!!!

Today life revolves around Harry Potter because we couldn't possible wait a day, a week, a month, or a year for the book.

Did I tell you that my husband sat in line for weeks/days to watch several Star Wars movies. Don't ask. He HAS to be the first one to see the new movie, to read the new book, to buy the new PS3. Etc., etc. You don't know what a miracle it was he held off on the PS3 until April this year, but good lord, we got some extra cash and he ran out the next day. HE almost missed the $100 price reduction because he had no patience - LOL.

Anyway, he pre-ordered it ages ago but I just saw the $22 hit my credit card yesterday. I was trying to plan a fun family day but dh is going to sleep by the front door until it arrives. I guess you have to be here to accept delivery.

So I guess I am part of the madness.

I think for past books I have been a little more eager. But this one, well it's the last one. I am not even sure I really want to read it right now - then it means the END! *sob* But then again, I kind of just want to whip it out this weekend so no one else spoils it for me. we were joking we really can't turn on the radio, internet or TV, or talk to anyone for that matter, until the book is done. so spoilers!!!

Grandma whisked off the kids for the week. Well LM For 1/2 the week and then BM for the rest of the week. So we may actually get some time to read.

Overall I think we can get used to this. MIL is a school teacher and retiring after next year. Sometimes we have boundary issues with her and I have been kind of dreading it. BUT this is probably where living farther out has paid off in a sense. All the gas and driving is worth personal boundaries - all I have to say... Anyway, next year she is not teaching a class so she has an immeasurable free time. No spending all summer preparing for next year. So she keeps taking the kids because she is bored. When they are older I can see maybe taking more issue, wanting more notice, not wanting the kids gone all the time, etc. But for now, OMG. LM had a horrible few nights and all of a sudden we get 4 or 5 nights to get a good night sleep? Woohoo!!!

Anyway, we're getting spoiled but she'll be working a bit next year. Then again her sisters and her mother do not work and she will only be working part-time so I wouldn't be surprised if she took the kids more, and the kids will get more time with cousins. All good. By next summer maybe she will take both kids together more often. But I guess she is watching my niece all week and so the boys will have a blast getting to much time with her.

I will not have to pay to take LM to preschool next week after all so she saved me $25. will make it up in gas this week easy - will have to drive 6 hours to pick up kids this week. But most certainly worth the break!!!!

Plus I was packing up a bag for LM last night and it just took a few minutes. I love they are getting to an age where you don't have to pack everything but the kitchen sink to leave the house - hehe.

Well I spoiled BM and took him to McDonalds this last week. I had invited his friend to meet up in the evening as a birthday thing, but then Sunday he really wanted to go on his birthday - forget the friend. Hadn't heard anything so whatever. But then his friend was game Wednesday so we just went again. That day they spent more time on the video games than the playland - figures. we both commented how they were like their dads. Video games video games video games. Boys & video games...

But we got a free book. My friend had received a duplicate of a book so gave it to us - was cute.

Today is Wacky Water Day. There is a cute little place called Fairytale Town and they have little waterways through the park they usually don't use. But once a year they fill them with water and bring out a bunch of sprinklers. We went last year on like a 110 degree day and with the COLD water and the shade it was quite pleasant. BM and I went and just had a BLAST. This year they are doing it 3 times (guess it has been pretty successful). We were sick for the June one and I Was really bummed so I am SO excited today. Plus this time I get to take LM (he is coming home for the day before the fam shanghais him for a few more days). I wish dh could go too - hopefully his book arrives early. I know if he just goes once he will be hooked.

Oh & this time we are meeting up with some friends too - woohoo.

We have membership to the park, and believe me we use it, so today is "free." We often go every weekend in the more mild months. Kids just love the place.

I had actually intended to work today and hadn't reconciled the 2 in my head. Instead I will go to aerobics and then take the kids to get wet. Tomorrow will be a good day to work since LM will be gone anyway. I can get a good night sleep, wake up early, get a ton of work done by noon. Will just work from home. Is a plan.

Hmmm, what else has been going on? Yesterday I went to Target to get some Draino. I tried some home remedies but it was just too late. I think we will be a little more vigilant on keeping hair out of the shower and try more things when the clog first starts instead of waiting until it is horrid. I Cringe at pouring that stuff down the drain. Dh and I were just saying we probably really never cleaned out the hair though and that is an issue. Live and learn. I also read to pour boiling water down the drain every week to reduce build up. An interesting idea...

Anyway, I took my $50 gift card (Credit card reward) and picked up a few things like razors, shampoo, thank you cards, etc. I perused the purses but didn't see anything I liked. But I spotted a black tote bag with white snakeskin handles that had my name all over it. I glanced at it and thought. "That is so cool!!!!!" LOL. Much cooler than the bag I had picked up on sale a while back to lug diapers and stuff around. This one looked a little more beachy and will be perfect for water day today. I did not think of buying it, was really just admiring it, but it was on clearance for $8 - it was sitting on the clearance rack - OMG. (Originally priced $30?). I have to say I would not have spent $30, but $8 for such a cool bag? You bet! Hardly a dip in my allowance. I am not even sure I need to include it because it was free!!! I spent $$49.xx so I have something like 70 cents left on my gift card. Dh asked why I didn't buy a pack of gum or something and max it? LOL. I just wanted to buy what I needed. so I have 70 cents left - I'll use it - not to worry! Not gonna waste it on something I don't want or need.

In other news, we are all signed up for the gym but it is not opening until August. We'll see when it opens - I guess they have pushed back the date a few times already. I have aerobics until then. I had just paid $30 for another 12 classes or so.

Kids - Oh who cares how expensive they are, they are so FUN - LOL.



I just had to say that this morning LM looked at me and said, "You use your eyes?????" He was VERY excited about this because I didn't have on my glasses. I assured him yes my eyes work fine. I tried to explain how I need my glasses to see far, but that went over his head. He was just fascinated that my eyes work after all.

He had a blast at preschool and all the kids were impressed with his social skills. Dh & I are a little underwhelmed I guess because all I know is boy genius BM. Ms. Preschool said she was very impressed and he talks on the level of a 3.5 year old. I was stunned. I said, if he talks like a 3.5 year old then BM was talking like a 5 year old at this age. It's probably good for the wake up call because LM does get overshadowed. I know he is bright but I really lose sight as I rarely see him with kids his own age.

It was at this exact same age (age 2) that BM became a big brother. I am not sure I would have remembered exactly where he was at any stage of development except everyone's favorite story in the fam is when he told them that "Mommy had to go to the hospital to get the baby out of her belly." Having only had 1 child I didn't exactly realize this was an extraordinary sentence for a kid who hadn't even turned 2 yet (was a week before his 2nd birthday). THat's just how my kids talk. I always looked at wonder at the kids at Toddler Time who used 2-words sentences. I don't think my kids ever did!

Inetrestingly, I have taken issue with the anti-TV bashing of late but hadn't got around to posting much about it. I am sure cutting TV out of yoru life is fine and worthy. I am not a huge TV person and don't think you are are missing a ton without it. But my husband is a big TV person and we do a lot of family time with the TV. Ms. Preschool keeps asking me questions about why my kids are so good verbally and frankly I couldn't tell you why. Dh and I are intorverts and we don't get out a lot. I think some of it has to do with the TV. As with anything you can put your kids in front of the TV in another room and ignore then and let them watch violence and absolutely harm them. But there are also smart ways to watch TV. The kids love educational TV and I think it may play a role as some more studies are showing TV is not all bad for pre-schoolers (if done right!).

Of course for us TV is a small piece - we are big on teaching the kids about the world and reading lots of books too.

We also talke to our kids like adults which may be even more the key. I remember when I Took LM to Gymboree I was absolutely astounded all the baby talk. I think he was about 1 at the time. I would cringe to go in there, could hardly take all the high voices and baby talk. That is probably a clue that we just talk to our kids like adults and expect them to talk like adults too - LOL. IT's not like I never play with my kids or never did the goo goo gah gah thing, but good lord, I felt they were insulting my baby's intelligence - LOL.

Beyond that I think most of it has to do with dh being so involved with the kids. Men approach kids very differently. Interestingly I have a few friends with SAHDs as well and all of their kids are just exceptionally bright. It has a lot to do with it. I notice I lean more towards nurturing and dh leans more towards making just everything a learning experience and so that probably explains a lot.

As far as BM, yeah I kind of brace myself for the challenges ahead of raising a bright boy. I feel we have an edge as dh and I both were bright kids and know clearly what our parents did right and wrong, so I hope we have an edge to help him. We were both challenged very differently - dh not enough - me I feel too much - so we want to try to strike a balance. But sometimes I am just at a loss. Yesterday he told me that "Trees breathe in carbon dioxide and breathe out oxygen, but people breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide." I think my eyes just about popped out of my head. OMG. I had to actually stop and think if he got it right. Wait a minute. The interesting thing is that the reason he apparently remembers this (probably from TV) is that he is utterly fascinated by the dynamic of the plants and people - how we work together to survive.

Anyways, he has been 4 all of a week. I think I had the realization, when he said that, that I have no clue what to do with him. I had the first glimpse that my own child is probably going to outsmart me by the time he is 10, if not sooner. IT's such a delicate balance keeping a kid like that challenged and yet not wanting to suck all the fun out of life either. Just challenging times ahead for us as parents. I guess we are both open to the challenge though. IT's a little scary, but I think we may be good for the kids. Neither dh or I want to have one of those kids who graduates college at 10 or something. Dh has some relatives who are VERY bright, one who did graduate college very early, and they both really struggle emotionally and socially. So for us it is important to make life as normal as possible for them. But sometimes you realize it isn't as easy as it sounds. When he spits out stuff like that sometimes I am amazed he can even relate to kids his own age at all.