This one was technically MH's photo.  He has more zoom on his camera.  & he might have just been focused on the bird, but I like the way the photo came out.

Oh yeah, and we saw a Great Blue Heron.  A little too far away to get a useful photo or a really good look at it.  It was an unexpected surprise at the end of our walk.

I did take pictures through the end of the month, but then time got away from me.  Today I am going out of town and tomorrow I have an 8-hour class.  So I don't expect much down time this week.

My takeaway is that sharing a photo is a much smaller time commitment than blogging.  & it was also enjoyable, so I will infuse my blog with more photos.  Once a week is probably more realistic, though I don't have any reason to stick to that.

Oh yeah, and October 2025 was the most calm month I remember in the past 8 years.  Phew!!  

We did go to a local college arboretum this past weekend.  I think it's a 4 mile loop when you walk the whole way through.  We usually go in the spring, but figured we'd go during a different season.

$0 spent.  Sometimes we also get lucky and get a free car charge.  But no suck luck this time.  Which means we probably spent about $1 on electric fuel.  It was a bit of a drive.

& then this website wouldn't support all my pictures in one post, so I broke this out into two posts.

Oct 25

I did not take a single picture on Saturday.  So I pulled this one from Friday.

I developed a sudden intolerance to avocado in recent years.  😭 A couple of years after developing a banana intolerance.  Apparently these are related.

Anyway, my employer buys lunch every Friday.  I quickly realized that most sushi has avocado.  *sigh*  But I finally found something I like on this particular menu.  Mango sushi.  It's a vegetarian sushi with fried sweet potatoes.  Yum.

Oct 26

Sunset picture on Sunday night.  Picture taken through a windshield (with some window reflection).

More eating out...  I went through a drive thru.  

I initially offered to pay for dinner if DL(20) went out to pick up something.  I just wasn't feeling it and hadn't gone to the grocery store over the weekend (we had too much food in the house, even though MH was out of town for 5 days).  DL(20) said he wasn't hungry.  So my plan B was to just grab a fast food burger.  But then that enticed DL.  Which somewhat surprised me because my kids are food snobs.  They'd usually turn up their nose at fast food.  But I guess I go DL(20) hooked on the chicken fries.  & then he asked me, "Do they have shakes?"  So he seem pleased with his meal.  Since I am the only one in this house who would actually go through a fast food drive thru (in the house of food snobs), I just went.  I mean, I was pretty much out the door on my way to get myself a burger.

Oct 24

I went for a morning walk on Friday and at first I noticed some dew on the plants and thought I might get an interesting photo during a different time of day.  But then the birds were very loud and so I tried to snap a picture.  They were mostly too small and I was surprised this came out at all.  He stood still just long enough...

Oct 23

On Thursday I just got lucky.  I don't think I took any other pictures.  But happened to catch this sunset when we went out to dinner.

I've only recently figured out this hack.  If I take my kid out to dinner, he will talk to me for 3+ hours.  It's not like it never happens, re: kid living at home.  & I am sure there are more frugal hacks.  But it's a new thing I am experimenting with this year.

MH is not as big of a fan of this buffet we go to.  So I took DL(20) a few times this year when MH was busy or out of town.  I think it kind of started as a, "Well if MH doesn't come too, this is much more affordable."  But then it turned into really good quality time with my son.

This time I made the mistake of giving him a heads up and letting him pick a day.  I told him I figured we'd eat out one night while MH is in Austin.  So we settled on Thursday.  Then mid-day on Thursday he texted me if he could bring his friend.  His bff friend.  I *sighed* (thinking this sounds expensive and not what I had in mind) but I just let it go.  He was *very* excited.  Then it turns out his friend has never been to this buffet.  What!?  So it was cute watching her geek out over the entire experience.  

The meal itself was not as fun, for me.  But then we came home and had a deep talk for a few hours.  The topic is always something completely different.  

Oct 22

I had some Kohl's cash and so I picked up some clothing for DL(20).  He definitely gets a 'free clothes' boost re: living at home.  

I had gone to Kohl's to return some shoes the prior week.  They already had Christmas stuff filling up the front of the store but I hadn't bothered to grab a picture at that time.  I snuck a pictue this time, but it was only a small fraction of the display.

I guess we are skipping Halloween and going straight to Christmas.

Note:  We spend $0 on Christmas materialism.  So it always seems a little extra weird to me.  More 'I grew up on a different planet' feelings. 

Oct 17

A California Scrub Jay (the blue jays of the west)

Picture taken on a mid-day walk.  I really like how it turned out with the blue sky.

He flew up on a branch (I startled him) and I figured I'd try to take a picture.  Very pleased by how the picture turned out.  Not much bird detail, but the composition and the blue sky turned out neat.

Edited to add:  My desktop monitor showed the picture as much darker, mostly the blue sky contrasted against black.  I showed MH the picture and was surprised he could tell it was a blue bird.  & now I am on a different monitor where I can see all the colors of the trees and leaves.

Towards the end of my walk, I saw several squirrels.  Two in particular, were having a snack on the lawn (and didn't scatter when I walked by).

He was adorable, and I suppose I should make up for not having a photo yesterday.

Oct 15

I bought a new desk at the end of last year.  & I set up a little side table for some extra space.  I expected my cat to maybe sit or nap more on the side table, but he doesn't seem too interested.

On Wednesday night I was working late and my cat was annoyed.  He usually jumps on my desk, when he's had enough.  Usually after a full work day.  But on this day he just jumped on my side table and looked somewhat annoyed.  (Maybe more annoyed, when I started taking photos of him).

Oct 16

No photos on the 16th.  It was foggy in the morning and I tried to take some pictures, but they just didn't come out the way I expected.  Nothing worth sharing.

I have lived in my current city for 24 years.  And...  The dense fog still surprises me.  I forgot that is part of the local weather patterns.  

Oct 14

Picture taken on a work break walk.  I was surprised how quickly the scenery turned to fall.  We just had a couple of days of cooler temps and rain.

Which reminds me, I turned on the heat today.  Wanted to make sure everything was working, before we really *need* it.  The temp inside the house dropped by 11 degrees, over the last few days.  

I made a fajita casserole for dinner tonight.   I was just taking pictures of colorful food, undecided which picture I would settle on today.  I now wish I had just taken a picture of the red bell pepper.  I didn't *see* in until looking through my pictures.  I was so focused on the melding of the colors (while cooking and planning to combine ingredients).  But the red really popped in my photos.

So I am making it a 2-picture day.

Oct 12

I've only just discovered chicken noodle soup.  & minestrone.  It's just nothing my parents ever made.  & MH never makes.  So it took almost 50 years to get it into the rotation.  I mean, I discovered 4 months ago.

Because it's a new thing, the thought didn't cross my mind (or MH's mind) when he was sick.  It took me a minute.  But I thought about it last week and made some soup over the weekend. 

Around the same time I attempted chicken noodle soup, DL(20) got into making minestrone.  I told him he needs to make some minestrone this month.  Maybe one soup a week.  & it's time for butternut squash soup, our more longstanding fall tradition.  

Oct 13

A picture taken during a work break walk.

Oct 11

MH & I attended an event at a historic theater in our city.  The theater was built in 1912.

It was a selection of short films from local film makers.  There's always a handful of people (usually actors) who dress like they are going to the Oscars.   In addition to some unique characters.  Definitely an artistic group.

Oct 9

I just looked out my bathroom window in the morning, and the combo of the clouds and the (tiny) moon was interesting.  I was surprised this turned out through my very small and dirty window.  😁

Oct 10

The weather cooperated (and life cooperated), and so I did well on walks this week.  

This was a sunset walk in my neighborhood.

Oct 8

Today I ventured out into the world, to get a flu shot. 

This is a unique building, on the other side of the river.  

Oct 6

I hadn't ventured outside this month.  I am really thrown off kilter re: vacation (catching up at work), MH's travels (covering at home), MH coming home sick (which means more covering at home), etc.  But I did make it outside for a walk in the middle of the work day.

This is an area between my work building and the work building where MM(22) interned a few summers ago.  I presume it's the in-between office that puts out bowls of water in the summer and keeps the bird feeders full.  They also set up a little bench/umbrella for the animals.

Note:  It's just a completely random thing that MM(22) ended up with a job in the same parking lot as my employer.  We did not carpool because he was mostly out in the field, working at construction sites.

Oct 5

I really love this corn salsa, but no one else in my household cares for it.  I will give half to my coworker.

I took a picture because it is so colorful.

MH would say I was bougie, buying lemons and limes.  Versus just using whatever juice he has in the fridge.  It was $1.28 for the lime and lemon.

There has never been a time in our lives where we couldn't afford the extra $1.28.  I always say we are backwards because we started out with the dual income in high cost region.  (It's only been down from there.  Less income.) But I respect that MH considered it his job to keep grocery spending very low during our one-income years.  I just roll my eyes at him more now that we make 3x as much as lowest one-income years.  

I run to the store once or twice a week, these days.  To grab my own things.  Sometimes I plan ahead and add to MH's grocery list.  But today I just went to the store.  

On my drive home, I noticed 3 kids (around age 8 or 9) riding scooters and carrying long fishing rides.  I was too slow.  It took me a few too many seconds to realize, "Now that is a picture."  Like the squirrel, they were too fast for me.  They were headed to the lake.  

Oct 3

I've got two photos today.  The clouds were beautiful again today, against the blue sky.

& this squirrel was very busy.  He posed briefly on a log and I tried to take a picture, but he was too busy to pose for long.  I noticed when I looked closer that he was carrying food in his mouth and burying it in the dirt.  I noticed him run past my window several times in the morning, sometimes catching glimpse of some bright colored food in his mouth.

I've seen the squirrels hiding food around before, but I had never noticed one running back and forth for hours. 

I asked MH about some credit card charge and it sounds like he had to pay ~$75 to attend the film festival?  He came home sick from the festival and I haven't been in the same room with him for long.  I will ask him more about that later.  I feel like generally that's covered when they show your film.  But anyway, I have to revise the spending for his Arizona trip.  It was more like $250.  & I am still very happy with the cost/benefit aspect of this trip.

Oct 2

I was trying to get a picture of the clouds.  But after looking through my photos later, I was somewhat intrigued by this one.  Yes, I captured clouds.  But there's the birds on the light pole, the shadows on the ground, the old truck being towed (I didn't notice in the moment), etc. 

Edited to add:  I somehow got a cursor in the clouds.  I zoomed in; that is an accidental post edit. 

Oct 1

This is the view from my office.  I probably haven't seen very many clouds for roughly 4 months.  So I was enjoying the show and the contrast of all the different cloud colors. 

PatientSaver mentioned she was considering a 'photo a day' project in 2026.  I decided that sounded fun and would try in October.  The past couple of Octobers I have done daily spending tracking.  I find that diving into the minutiae makes for a lot to talk about and share (when I have no idea where to begin).  But actually sharing every purchase does become overwhelming.  & that was during low spend times (in the grand scheme of things).  Maybe a picture is easier.  A picture does not require words.  & if anyone else wants to join in, I think it would be fun. 

MH's Arizona trip was *amazing*.  He had the time of his life.  The film festival there was clearly A+ when we went together some years ago.  Very small and not much turnout, but the small size was nice and we had a blast.  It sounds like word is getting out a little more, so MH met some bigger names this time.  They also had a tour on the last day, touring some of the places where bigger movies have been shot.  MH showed me pictures of where they filmed some scenes from Three Amigos.  The National Parks there make for dramatic movie backdrops.

Grand Total: $187 (4.5 Days)

$20 hotel (tip), $30 Uber ride (from airport), $137 food

Hotel & airfare paid for with credit card rewards

Mental note to self:  Never discourage MH from doing this trip.  Everything was very last minute re: short notice.  As the charges started to roll in on the credit card, I recalled how low cost Tucson is.  The lower cost was astounding (to me) when we traveled there together some years ago.  I just didn't think about this time, until I started to see the credit card charges.  

The view from our hotel room.  We had a clear sky and an amazing view of the stars on our first night.

The beach was filled with clams.  Which was apparenty unusual (per social media chatter) but never saw a definitive answer as to why there were so many clams.  The birds (and some people) were enjoying the clam bounty. 

On Day 3 we went to the Elfin Forest, which we had to ourselves.  Lots of animals and amazing views (the surrounding hills, the salt marsh, sand dunes, and Morro Rock).

On Day 4 we hiked a preserve that was behind our hotel.   I've been to the hotel several times over the past ~40 years but I don't believe we have ever done this hike.  It's amazing how much forest and shade is hiding behind the brown (summer) hills.  We might have walked 6 miles on this day.  We had some calories to burn off (re: too much good food).

I shared a photo in my last post (from this hike) of a higher up view of Pismo Beach.

On Day 5 we stopped by a little cafe for dinner.  The food was unique.  

On Day 7 we went to Solvang, a little Danish town.  We have been there before, but this time wanted to be there at night and to see the lights.  When we got there the place was packed.  They had some sort of festival going on.  But thankfully it thinned out quickly.  The place is pretty quiet at night.  They had a free concert.  We ate at a great pub with a perfect view of the sunset and then enjoyed some of the music and people watching.

After staying in idyllic beachfront hotels most of the week, we mostly used Santa Barbara as a point to travel from.  So on our last (mostly travel) day we decided we should at least go down to the beach (4 miles from the hotel) and see the beauty of Santa Barbara.  

I didn't know that the beach there was right next to a slough and wetlands.  We were just squeezing in an early morning walk before we left, but saw some incredible birds.

*Not* my picture, but this is an elegant tern.  We saw them dive bombing into the water.  We also saw a heron that we could not ID (too far away).  But it looked like it might have been a great blue heron.  Which is a bird we have abundantly near our house (we live in the wetlands) but that I don't see very often.  This experience tells me that I need to up my bird watching game.  It would take very little effort.

& after that crazy whirlwind of a month...  It's back to reality.

'Big Splurge' Anniversary trip was a success!

It was fairly low key.  The only spending was fuel, hotel, and food.  100% just nature and the great outdoors, otherwise.  But the hotels were expensive.

This trip really narrowed down my focus.  I had wanted to travel and explore the central coast more.  It's always been my happy place.  So...  We expanded and explored a bit.  & nope.  This is the place.  If we redid the same trip over again, I would have just stayed in Pismo for the week.  I do have a renewed appreciation for how special it is. 

We had about 20 miles of coastline completely to ourselves.  Unreal.  

Our trip (distance) was cut a little short re: Highway 1 closure that cut off a lot of our access to Big Sur.  We can save the windy/steep coastline road for a future trip.  I guess the road has been washed out for about 3 years (according to the northern most hotel that we stayed at).  I am sure we have driven that stretch before but we had wanted to stop and do more camping (further north) this trip.  It just wasn't worth the extra time and drive to go all the way around.

Too far north (absolutely gorgeous but no wifi or cell service):

Too far south:

Pismo Beach:

I paid for the trip when the hotel charges posted to the credit card. I sent $1,200 to the restaurant/fuel card.  (We ate *very* well).  & sent $2,500 to the travel card to pay for the hotels.  That should cover it. 

That reminds me, we did expand our horizons and try some new food places in Pismo.  Realized why we always go to the one place.  (Which is somewhat a cost thing because the cost is unreal/low, in addition to the amazing food).  But we tried some things.  & then we just ended up focusing on all the best places we always go to.  (Lots of amazing Italian food.)

So yes, we seemed to fail on all fronts, as to trying new things.  But hey, at least we tried.   I suppose that's not totally fair.  We enjoyed the northern notel we stayed at, and discovered we had the coastline to ourselves.

Grand Total:  $3,700

Note:  We took out MM(22) for a handful of extravagant meals, so it wasn't just the two of us.  We spent most of the week just a few miles from his college campus.

This was probably our biggest 2-person domestic splurge.   We came in slightly under our 2017 Europe trip (that we did soley because it was an incredible deal).  & I mean, the $3,850 Europe trip was far more extravagant as to how many places we went and things we did.  The non-stop flights were unreal (something like $500) and the exhange rate was very favorable at the time.  I paid for all the tours (different cities/countries) with credit card points.

The obvious thing I would do to redo this trip is camp on the weekend to save $800.  I mean trading out a very ho hum (but the most expensive) hotel in more out of the way city and trade it for camping in a cabin with a full bath and kitchen, on a lake.  We had planned to do that anyway but it was a 2-night minimum.  & I didn't want to stay that long. Hindsight 20/20, I'd make that switch.  I'd also eat out a lot less and just eat more leftovers.  

This year has been a real slog.  MH's movie premiers have been the exception.  Ohio trip was amazing.  MM(21) had spring break and was able to join us for a few days.  I don't remember the last time our flights went so smooth, etc.  It was a very nice and peaceful 5 days during an otherwise not peaceful year.  Then we had the west coast premier at the IMAX a few weeks after the Ohio premier.  It went really well.  

I took a staycation a few weeks ago.  I did pretty much nothing for 7 days, which was a well needed rest.  We did do one day trip to Sausalito, 90 miles from our home.  I'd call it an elevated San Francisco.  The store fronts were closed by 7pm and most the restaurants were closed by 8pm.  But the view across the Bay was amazing (San Francisco & Angel Island).  Before that, we had driven 3 miles west to the ocean side.

We hiked for two hours and enjoyed having the bluff to ourselves for an hour. 

The kids are busy with travel plans and they both have summer jobs lined up.  DL(19) is half way done with college!  & MM(21) is just wrapping up year 4.  Which is hard to believe, but he has one more year.

Edited to add:  MM(21) did a long car camping road trip Memorial Day weekend.  🙄  You know, we gave him the older car (when the kids got a second car and no longer had to share) because it was mostly going to sit in his garage.  & then he drove it 3,000 miles in one weekend.  I don't know why this car is always the road trip car (with his friends).  But probably because it is a little roomier. 

I am dealing with a shoulder problem that is apparently a menopause thing?  O.M.G.  Just adding this to the crazy list of 'weird and annoying' health things in my 40s.  The physical therapist told me that I had the most mild case she had ever seen.  What!?  She made it sound like this was an 80yo thing, because most people just completely give up moving their arm (too painful).   But then she tells me it's a 'common 50yo woman' thing.   It's been 9 months.  I mostly ignored the first 7 months (sounds like there is nothing I could have done, specifically given my high tolerance for pain & low tolerance for meds).  But then I started losing range of motion, and finally went in to the doctor.  I have corrected pretty much everything that had been bothering me, with just one week of PT.  The last 5%-10% range of motion will come back when my shoulder is good and ready.  It could be another year or two.  At this point, it's more just mildly annoying, and am definitely over the hump. 

In other news, a distribution deal has been signed for MH's movie.  It's plausible that some money will come in from this.  Wouldn't hold my breath, but it is possible.  No idea when it will actually hit the streaming platforms, but I will share when it does.  

I saw a meme that said something like, "I've tried the 10 day trial and I'd like to cancel my subscription" re: the year 2025.  That pretty much sums it up.  

January was a whirlwind of out of town trips.  One big last minute emergency trip, a weekend caring for my parents (my Dad had a medical procedure) and then we did 4 trips to San Francisco (annual Sketchfest).  I was more assertive about number of shows and picky about venues this year, but of course I didn't know the month would be completely insane when we bought the tickets in November.  & then I went to a 4th show when MH's friend canceled last minute due to illness.  

The theme of this year has kind of settled into "Big money drains everywhere.  Nevermind."  Which is maybe just an extension of recent years of roller coaster.  One minute it's drama and the next minute it's nothing.  Medical stuff, dental stuff, vet stuff, etc.  (Nothing has come of any of this, but for a time I thought all of these things might cost thousands of dollars.  Vet and dental stuff was the same week.)  Oh yeah, and MM(21) is losing a roommate mid-year.  Again!  So far the roommate is still paying the lease.  Will we or won't we be on the hook for an extra few thousand dollars?  Who knows... 

The year started out really rough, but we have since had some good news.

January started out with some film festival rejections (MH's full length movie, filmed one year ago).  But then we got the great news that the film was accepted into a local film festival.  The film festival is excellent (lots of press, big audience, large IMAX screen.  & the people who run the festival are amazing.)  This is also great news because we expected we would have a local screening or premier.  We will happily buy up a large amount of tickets, in lieu of having to plan and pay for our own screening.  

The movie is not completed yet but it sounds like it's 99% of the way there.  They just need to lock it in.  I think it will be good to have a hard deadline.  

Oh yeah, and we celebrated GMIL's 100th birthday.  

Edited later to add:

The theme this year is going to be chaos. 

MH just found out that the Ohio film festival that rejected him, they un-rejected the movie.  ???  I don't why, I don't know anything.  It's causing much drama (re: planned world premier in our city).  Now we are scrambling to plan a last minute trip.  The airfare was reasonable but the hotels are sold out. 

I suppose this puts even more pressure for them to lock in the final movie cut ASAP.  Ohio (where movie was filmed) will be the world premier, this month.  Then we will have the west coast premier in April.

I am happy to report that today was very relaxing.  I can't quite put my finger on it, but maybe no last minute emergencies or dramas.  & didn't have to drive for 4-5 hours.  (I just looked it up and it was 8 out of town trips during the last 8 weeks.) We went to a local college arboretum.  It was a little early.  Didn't see so many baby turtles and baby ducks, like we usually do.  & didn't see the poppy explosion that we usually see in April.  Will have to go back next month.

🤪

This pretty much sums up life right now.  There's an element of "no idea where to begin," every time I have some peace and inclination to blog.  

I have mixed feelings about work.  At least I am not juggling craziness on top of the busy season.  But I don't know why everything has to implode every May 1.  It feels like I can never catch a break on the work front. 

We had to reschedule a few times, but finally circled back to that last hike we did.  I wanted to try it out with hiking boots.  With stretching and proper shoes, it was easy peasy.  

We left home on 8am Saturday and we were shocked how crowded it was already.  But because it was cooler and early enough, we did get the river bank to ourselves.  We hiked down to a swimming hole that had been more crowded on our last afternoon hike.  

This last one just happens to be called a monkey flower.

I wanted to note the time.  We might try 7:30 next time.  Just to play it safe.  I don't know if the holiday weekend was a factor.

When trying to figure out the archaic payment system last time, I saw that the library had stake (lol) state park passes to borrow.  I couldn't really find details about that either (like how long we could borrow the pass) and so I just reserved a park pass and tried it out.  It probably took about 10 days to get a pass.  We can borrow for 3 weeks, same as books.   I will just plan to keep a pass checked out all summer because the kids will also use. 

Money stuff has been pretty quiet but won't be quiet for long.  Just got a $2,000 MRI bill.  College expenses are just a 'second half of the year' thing.   At this point I guess, while most of MM(20)'s college savings are being pulled from other savings buckets.  & I think for DL(18) the timing worked out that I get a refund of first semester financial aid around the time the second semester is due. 

I expect MH and I have been way too relaxed and spending way too much money.  We have both been frittering money away on smaller things, which has never been our thing.  But that MRI bill is stressing me out and now I am realizing that college will be a big money outflow the second half of the year.  I've already told MH we will have to rein it in this summer when he is off work.  He is well aware of excess spending.  He seems kind of down on movie travel plans this year and has already seemed to decide he rather relax more and enjoy some smaller spending, and is willing to let go of some of the larger spending plans.  It's different, but it's interesting we both subconscionsly seem to have ended up in the same place. 

It just so happens that we have not had any 'big' expenses the first 4 months of the year.  (Other than travel plans, paid for with gift money).  I pulled money from savings the first time (this year) in May, when I purchased a new cell phone.   I expect this is why MH and I have been more relaxed about money. 

I need to add taxes to our expense tracking.  I have not bothered during these ~$0 tax years with kids.  But even just the payroll taxes, we are probably making $40K more than when I first took this job in 2018.  It's now $950/month payroll taxes.  & our income taxes will be about the same when kids are done with college (though we aren't paying much in the interim). Payroll and income taxes will suddenly become our two largest expenses.  

When looking how much we are in the black the past few months, I can see it's exaggerated without the taxes reducing income.  It's time to start tracking taxes and mentally preparing for when that is our #1 expense.   I may have also just left these off (payroll taxes specifically) so that I didn't have a heart attack during lowest one-income years.  But it's 22 years later now and things change.  

We did the traditional ‘after busy season time off and hike’.  But this time was a little different.  For the first time in 7? years I didn’t just look up the easiest hike I could find. I mean, the hike was labeled “easy”, I guess because of not a *lot* of elevation gain.  But after about a mile uphill, it did kick my butt.  MH’s job is way more physical and he seemed less bothered by it.  But he very heartily disagreed with the “easy” assessment.  It was a 4 mile hike with a lot of uphill.  And…  It was just perfect.  It is exactly what I needed.  I like that it was a bit more of a challenge, while being relatively easy.  & I probably would not have been up to that during several years of recent ‘survival mode'.

This morning I bought some hiking shoes, which should help.  I’d like to go back and redo with some better footwear.  & I am over this “once per year” hike schedule. I’ve decided that at a minimum we need to be doing a hike at least once every month.   

We do really need to take more advantage while our fuel costs pennies.  Not sure how long that will last.  Thinking to hitting more Bay Area and Tahoe hikes.  Last year I realized that we had extra freedom with MH done with the whole 'driving the kids to school' thing.  In addition to that, I do work from home one day per week.  I'd like to maybe once or twice a month hit an afternoon hike.  If it's easier for me to leave at 2 or 3.  I think we left closer to 3:00 for this hike and I was surprised how empty the parking lot was (both before and after our hike).  I expected more of an 'after work' crowd.

Here are some pictures from our hike yesterday.  This is only 30 minutes from our house.

I’ve done a good mix of relaxing and crossing things off my to do list, this week off work.  I feel I have both the physical and the mental energy to get things done.  While my time has skewed maybe 80% - 90% towards just relaxing.  It’s been a good balance.  

In other news...  I was not supposed to know this but MM(20) is engagement ring shopping.  MH and I got engaged when we were both 19, which was weird in our day.  Have got a lot of questions why we bothered to get engaged if we didn't plan to get married until after college.  (& it was just plain weird to get married in our early 20s). I presumed that MM(20) and his girlfriend are not in any rush.  They are certainly taking their sweet time.  I am not surprised at all that they plan to eventually get married.  But it is a big surprise that they are ring shopping.

The only reason I know is because the GF is going halvsies on the ring and she gave a chunk of money to MM(20).  I thought it was rent/utility related.  I am just trying to figure out how much I owe the kid for utilities.  So I asked him about it.  He got really uncomfortable and I thought, "Ugh, I don't want to know."  So I started to tell him, nevermind.  But by the time I changed course, he had already admitted it was for an engagement ring.  

What!?

Kudos to the girlfriend for getting MM to buy a $1,200 ring!  (This is what I presume, re: her $600 contribution).  She thinks it's cute that he is an extreme cheapskate.  It is not cute, and it will get old.  So I am relieved he can at least spend money on important things.  Not that I think a ring is important.  But you know, people first.  Then money, then things.  It's the "people first" part that I think he's wise to oblige. 

Admittedly, there could be a YOLO aspect re: girlfriend's recent health problems.  I presume they won't get married until after college, but who knows.  The girlfriend is *amazing* and a very welcome addition to the family. 

Here's a few pictures from MM's rose float.

After making it through work hell month (December) and jetting off for a few days...  My plan is to sleep all day today.  I have like 10 blog posts in my head (re: end of year tallies and so on) but this might be all I eke out.

At least I usually have New Years day to regroup, or a long weekend.  So I am feeling really behind and off kilter. 

Edited to add:  All of MM(20)'s winter break lodging was covered by the college, and most of the food was covered.  I think alumni take turns bringing meals to the kids, stuff like that.  He drove home for Christmas with a rose float van.  He was given the van and a gas card, in exchange for being in charge of a carpool.

We are back from our New Year's trip to Pasadena. 

The trip was mixed.  MM(20) was too busy and basically only had five minutes for us.  We had brought him some stuff from home, and so we met him at his hotel, just as he was taking off.  He did invited us to lunch with him and the group of students he was driving back to the college, but some of them had COVID and others were sick with whatever else.  We declined lunch with the sick people.

We didn't do the parade, but we went to the float showcase afterwards.  The downside is that for the most part there weren't any animations (the float operators were long gone).  But we did see one of the floats operating.  The plus side is you can get up so close and see the floats from all sides.  

I have lots of pictures to share, but will just start with a few.

MH and I had a nice dinner in a pub on New Year's eve.  We had found a free charger for the car and so just took our time.  As we thought ahead to the New Year, all I could figure was that it's going to suck.  That's my take on 2024.  Mostly thinking to health issues of various loved ones.  😔

I can see the theme is that it will be a challenging year on the health front.  This is the most obvious.  But I also think it's going to be a crazy bucket list year.  Some mix of low lows and high highs, probably.  The Pasadena New Year's thing was a magical 'once in a lifetime' way to start out the year.  Next month MH should be getting his movie made.  Those are the biggies.  But if we have any time and money left after that, we had been planning to make it to the Grand Canyon this year.  I think it's ridiculous we still have not made that work after 2013 canceled trip.  & it may very likely get pushed to the side *again*.  

On the challenging side...  GMIL's health is starting to slide.  Both our parents with cognitive decline seem to be worsening significanly in recent months. & I am probably the most beside myself about the girlfriend.  She's so young.  It sounds pretty unlikely that she can return to school this month.  The pandemic really slowed down our parents' cognitive declines.  So I have been bracing myself for some obviously rougher years, but I think this is it.  2024 is obviously going to be rough. My BIL is also still battling some mystery illness.

Fingers crossed, but I think I am out of the medical loop.  It's all been 'abundance of caution' that has never turned out to be anything.  But I had my first mammogram (ever) that was all clear the first round.  Phew!   I am shocked.  I was sure I'd have to go back this week.  Because I always do.

It was crazy for a while in 2018-2019 with all the medical appointments.  It has definitely been a step down from that.  But it's nice to take it down a step further and have the "all clear" re: everything medical.  I might have acheived this once in recent years but it did not last very long.  Fingers crossed.

This weekend was perfect and magical.  I really viewed it as more of a chore weekend, going into it.  Mostly driving down to the college to deliver a few things to MM(20).  

We drove 735 miles.  The first car charge was free, but apparently it was just a fluke.  We thought we were going to get free charging all weekend.  (Electrify America is often free on Holiday weekends.)

We spent $234 on the hotel and tickets.  I am guessing $400 with food and fuel and everything.  Probably not quite that much.  We didn't do any big meals.  But I am guessing $400-ish for the weekend.  Will tally it all up later. 

It was fleet week and we saw some jets doing a show.  Could see from the freeway on the drive down.  

I guess with DL(18) having a driver license and being more independent.  We are actually getting through some of these things we thought we would do while MM(20) was living on the central coast.

We went to this art installation.  Wasn't sure if it was going to be over hyped or what.  It was beautiful.  & we picked the perfect day to go.  The weather was absolutely perfect.   The sky was so dark (no moon) that the stars were amazing.  I saw a shooting star!

I thought it would be nice to get there before sunset.  This ended up being perfect.  It was gorgeous in the light too.  We walked the property during (a great) sunset and then we went inside to eat dinner.  Then we came out and walked more thoroughly through the lights.  We stopped a couple of times just to sit and enjoy, the view and the stars.

The next morning we headed to the beach.  There's still chatter of whales online, though clearly that all peaked the last time we were there.  (It was a day trip, I didn't know until we left, and we wouldn't have had time anyway).  So we tried, but no whales.  But we did see lots of dolphins.   

& we saw a very fast and good foil surfer.  I mean, I could watch the surfers all day.  But I barely noticed the surfers on this trip.  The dolphins stole the show.  & then MH and MM pointed out this foil surfer.  Just google it, it's the craziest thing.  It's hard to describe.  Even most the videos I found were "meh" compared to the guy we were watching.  He was just flying all over the place.  It took us a while to figure out what the heck we were even seeing. 

We took MM(20) with us to the beach and his girlfriend met us for lunch. 

MM(20) has some leadership position re: the rose float this year.  He was really eyeing these flowers at the restaurant.  I guess he has been trying to track them down.  So we learned a lot about that whole process.  I guess the school grows a lot of the flowers.  & I am sure they just have to buy some of what they need.  But this particular flower is the perfect shade for what they need and more difficult to find.  (Would take more than a season to grow).   & I guess that dyeing flowers is frowned upon.   The GF has these same flowers outside her on campus house, so they were in deep negotiations about how much MM could get away with "borrowing" flowers from her house.

Of course, the down side to this is I don't know when we will see MM(20) the rest of this year.  I actually gave him a camping mattress when we initially thought his bed would arrive some nights after he moved into his apartment.  It's only because of this that I know he has camping plans after New Years.  🙄  He mentioned it to me re: the camping mattress.  We will have to get him a round trip flight from LA for Christmas (he will only have a couple of days off).  & then I guess technically he should be free January 1st or 2nd?  But if he goes camping, we aren't going to see him much.

I really need to buckle down and make Pasadena plans.  I am very mellow about it because MM(20) stayed at the timeshare by Disneyland last year.  That was rather last minute.  I know we can find some lodging.  & I am sure we have missed the boat as to anything very convenient. But I am committing to figuring things out this weekend.  Ideally, we want to see all the floats before or after the parade.  I just don't want to deal with the peak crowd.  We briefly discussed and MM(20) insisted it's all free the night before, to see the floats up close.  I am not 100% sure if that's true, if he has access we won't have, etc.  But it's only $20 to go see all the floats afterwards.  (I just figured this out). I will be buying tickets soon, to have that insurance.   

Side note:  MM(20) will have free lodging near Pasadena.  Because he is staying and working until the parade, he will have free lodging.  Last year he left early and just went back to watch the parade.

Other than that, I am exhausted and would be happy to go *nowhere* the rest of this year.  But I have been really looking forward to the behind-the-scenes rose parade experience.  Financially, will probably be a 2024 expense.  Heck, even if I charge any of that in December, won't be paying for it until January.  Definitely a 2024 expense.  Except for these $20 tickets that I want to buy now.  

Success!

Not only did I have a peaceful week.  But was able to finally redo jinxed LA trip.  Third time was the charm.  Had planned this trip originally in 2019.  Was initially supposed to be Hearst Castle, Solvang, LA.  (We skipped Solvang this time, but we made it at some point.) 

If money were no object, the central CA coast is where I would live.  It has always been my favorite place.  It's more complicated than that.  Living close to family is more important, among other things.  I don't foresee ever moving to the central coast.  But maybe some extended (weeks long) vacations during early retirement, is probably how it would realistically translate.

Writing down before I forget: Ventura was beautiful.  Never noticed it before, but it was stunning when we drove though last week. 

This was the view from our hotel room.  It's our 'forever hotel' near the college.  The price was has quintupled on the weekends, in recent years.  But weeknights can still be reasonable.

This part of the trip was particularly magical.  The sky was so clear and the moonlight was so pretty.  As we were wrapping up packing the next morning, I looked outside and just happened to spot 2 dolphins swimming by!  

My niece is working at the college this summer.  She's pre-vet, and stayed there to take care of the animals.  After Hearst castle, we met up with her.  We got to meet the kittens she was fostering (OMG) and the baby goats she is taking care of.  

Not much to say about the rest of the trip.  I holed up in the LA hotel for 3 days while MH attended the film festival.  It was over in a blink.  I guess that's how time is any more.  But I did relax and enjoyed the peace.  

We were not able to charge at the hotel and I thought that would be more challenging.  But we ended up in so much LA traffic that it added a lot of range to the car.  (Braking generates electricity.)  Because of that, we drove about 60 miles (from last charger) and ended up with 20 more miles (range) than we started with.  Got the battery up to 85%?

I still thought we'd do a quick stop on the way out (once the battery drained enough; charging is much faster on an emptier battery).  But once we guaged the traffic (hit more on the way out of LA) and re-assessed once we got out of the madness, it was an easy 2-stop drive home.  I think last time our second stop had been much shorter.   That was probably the difference with being able to start out with a full charge. 

I think the trip will end up being about $1,750.  Most of that is hotels.  About $400 for food and $70 at chargers.  1,000 miles driven.  I am not used to paying for hotels.  So, ugh.  The trip feels quite extravagant in that regard.  But we better get used to it.  MIL has been flip flopping about her timeshare (that we just want to get rid of).  So it initially sounded like maybe we could use the rest of the year.  But last MH brought it up, he said they had gone back to getting rid of it ASAP.  Which is really all good and for the best.   I want to go back to LA for New Year's (rose parade) and so it's just going to be one of those years.  I think we spent our vacation budget on the last LA trip.  

I am earmarking future gift/bonus money to offset the whole 'loss of free timeshare' thing.  I am also not interested in traveling with my kids in the future.  (Those timeshares were the best for bigger family trips.)  Just winging it for now.  Will be able to plan better with the heads up in future years.  & I just expect a completely revamped budget at some point in the future.  But with two kids in college, it's not in our plans to actually increase our vacation budget.  It's all been far more extravagant than anything I envisioned during these college years.  I really thought we'd just be more homebodies, but there's just been so many opportunities and we have the cash to take advantage.  This is the only year I can realistically get to the rose parade (re: work schedule).  While MM(20) is building rose floats.  So it's at least a 3x LA year.  

Thankfully, MH went back to work Tuesday.  & he was actually busy.  (It usually starts out pretty slow, after summer break).  & the LA hotel was slow to show up on the credit card.  So I am probably going to kick that can down the road a month and let MH's income cover that.  It's all the same in the end (as MH would roll his eyes and tell me) but I personally like slowing the money drain.  I am looking at August and I've just got the new tires and $1,000 of vacation expenses to pay off in September.  Was able to kick off medical bills and the LA hotel to be paid for in October (charged in September).  & MH's October income might cover those extras.

Spending will slow, as everyone settles back to school and work. 

Enjoying a nice bout of cooler weather.  & the clouds/sunsets that come with the cooler weather.

I got some more firm college numbers for DL(18).  Woohoo!

I've been following actual CSU college numbers (over the decades) and planning for $30K (sticker price) degrees for my kids. 

Actual cost = $30,400 at DL's specific college.  It looks like it will be closer to $32K with parking permits (over 4 years).  I am considering that as part of tuition/fees, since the parking is kind of necessary to be able to commute to the college. 

Up until this afternoon, that's all the info I had.  $32,000 degree minus $10,000 college tax credits = $22K max I expect to pay for this degree.  

It sounded likely the kids would have similar state middle class grants, but I was second guessing because I recently read it depend on the college.  & for all I know, DL(18) didn't get the paperwork in.  I don't know!  I had this number in April? when MM applied to college, but I didn't know if I'd get this number (for DL) until after I paid for DL's first year of college.  Or like 9 months later.  🙄 

But I saw the topic come up in the college parent group (MM's college) today and it looked people had real numbers.  What!?  

DL(18) got a $4K grant!   (I was able to log into his state grant account).  I am so relieved that everything went through. 

The best part is these grants are increasing every year.  Was more like $2K MM's first year.  Then $3K.  Then $4K.  

DL's expected net college costs:

$32,000 Tuition/fees

-10,000  tax credits

-16,000  CA middle class grants

---------

$6,000 Net cost

Probably minus some increased middle class grants in the future, which could easily net out this cost to $0.  

Of course, it's not quite so simple.  The tax credit thing gets complicated.  If middle class grants increase any further, then the tax credits will decrease.  & I mean, we won't even get the full $2,500 tax credit this first year.  But I feel pretty confident saying that DL will probably pay no more than $5K for his degree (if he can finish in 4 years).  

It sounds like most likely I won't get any refunds from DL's school until next year.  His tuition (full sticker price) and parking permit will be $4,000 for the spring semester.  Due end of December maybe?  Early January?  But the school will owe me this $4,000 (grant) refund, so that should be a wash.  Because of this, I've checked off DL's freshman year as done and paid for.  In my sidebar.  The $4K cash already paid should be all I need to come up with for the next 11 months.  Phew!  Feeling relieved because the money drain was pretty crazy in August/September.  Paid college x2, medical bills, last minute vacation and so on.  

The planner in me is very happy.  We plan to just cash flow DL's college expenses (with income).  I didn't think it would amount to much more than $1,500 per year.  But it's nice to have firm numbers and a more firm plan.

DL(18) is just living at home, so no other college expenses to figure out.  I mean, he's got a bigger commute now, but he is covering those expenses.

We went to a local college arboretum last weekend.  The pictures don't do it justice but I've never seen such vibrant poppies anywhere else. 

As to everything else, I wouldn't know where to begin.  I touched on some of it in my monthly wrap up.

Work is a spiraling vortex of insanity. 

My employee is leaving me.  😭😭😭

This is forseeable because she has wanted to move out of state and have babies, probably the entire time she has worked at this job.  (I brought her over from my last job).  But after all the talks about giving as much heads up as possible...  Basically got a one-week notice because she gave notice on my week off.  But her husband wanted to give *zero* notice, and so here we are.  & overall, just sad, because I have worked with her for 10 years and she is an amazing human.  😭  She is moving out of state.

Of course, most of my burnout is just the "everything out of my control is completely absurd" factor.  But because this was foreseeable I hired our last two admin assistants with this in mind.  It's paying off for me right now.   We promoted an employee to fill her position.  So patting myself on the back a bit.  Phew!  It's adding to the chaos though, because we are training two positions now.  But is probably the only reason I am not totally freaking out.  

The "planning ahead" is helping my sanity, but what a week!  On Monday we tried to offer the open admin assistant position to a candidate and ended up rescinding the offer.  (It got weird, and I think we dodged a bullet).  If that's not enough drama for one day, my boss ended up firing someone.  I think it will be a good change for the long term, but it's just very chaotic right now.   

May has been very quiet on the home front.  June will be busy, in contrast.  Picking up MM(19) from college, annual camp trip, etc.  DL(17) high school graduation.  

DL(17) got a job.  The job market is rough and he has been looking for a year.  I am not even sure if MM(19) will be able to get an internship this summer.  As a freshman?  Easy peasy.  But now everyone is pulling back hiring.  & for reference, I just put up an entry level job ad and got 200 applications in a few days.  I told DL(17) I wouldn't hold my breath about it being easier when he turns 18.

So DL(17) was feeling desperate and he applied at the summer camp we go to every year.  They were the only employer to ever call him back.  & he got the job!  It sounds like it was close though.  They went from severely understaffed to, "I am not sure there's enough room in the boys' dorm for one more person."  

I don't know if he will make it all summer.  I don't expect him to be mentally healthy enough to live in a dorm all summer.  (He's moody enough at home, and is very noise sensitive.  This is with 3 bedrooms entirely to himself; sharing 2600 square feet with two other people).  But we can help, with the EV.  It's $4 fuel for the 200 miles roundtrip.  If we have to rescue him on his breaks, will support him as much as we can.   & while I am skeptical, I am proud of him for giving it a try.  

I was just focusing on his mental health and the tight living quarters.  I expect he'd also be homesick.  It's going to be rough.

DL will mostly be paid in room and board, which is not the most useful.   That, and $2,400.  The rough math is that it probably works out to $6 per hour.  (I am not sure how many hours he will be expected to work.)  Of course, if we have any food savings, I will give that money to him.  The $2,400 will cover his car expenses for a year and will give him some spending money.  It's sufficient for his needs.

I haven't been sweating it because when he applied for jobs in person no one wanted to deal with work permits.  (He won't need a work permit after high school, even though he will be 17 for a while). & It should be easier when he turns 18 this summer.  I figured worst case, he could get a campus job in the fall.  I think that will be more his speed, working something like 10 hours a week year round.  

I had a week off work with absolutely nothing planned.  My expectations were pretty low (that it would be peaceful).  It ended up being a mix of some peaceful days and some challenging days.  & a bomb was dropped on me re: work.  Ugh.  Another post for another day.

I did make it to my other happy place (above).  This was a neighborhood in San Francisco, where my friend lived during our college years.  Another little slice of paradise. 

I hadn't even realized until my week off, but...  MH could take some time off with me!  What a difference it makes, to not have to wait until 4:00 until the kids are chauffered.  It was a "the kid has a driver license" benefit I hadn't realized.  So we did do one day in San Francisco.  We went to an art museum, ate at a fancy restaurant with a beach view (enjoyed watching the kite surfers) and went for a sunset hike. 

We had bought a more premium museum membership in 2020, to help out the museum during the pandemic.  & figured we'd maybe get more use out of that during these college years (expecting to be more frugal/pinched).  The premium membership has reciprocal membership with other museums.  This was the first time we had used our local museum membership for free admittance to another museum.  But I don't expect much the rest of this year.  We have too many plans already for this year.

I expect the whole "kid driver license" thing is why we have had so many weekend trips already this year.  It's just easier to say yes to things.  I hadn't really thought about it before, but clearly we are enjoying the extra freedom.