🤪

This pretty much sums up life right now.  There's an element of "no idea where to begin," every time I have some peace and inclination to blog.  

I have mixed feelings about work.  At least I am not juggling craziness on top of the busy season.  But I don't know why everything has to implode every May 1.  It feels like I can never catch a break on the work front. 

We had to reschedule a few times, but finally circled back to that last hike we did.  I wanted to try it out with hiking boots.  With stretching and proper shoes, it was easy peasy.  

We left home on 8am Saturday and we were shocked how crowded it was already.  But because it was cooler and early enough, we did get the river bank to ourselves.  We hiked down to a swimming hole that had been more crowded on our last afternoon hike.  

This last one just happens to be called a monkey flower.

I wanted to note the time.  We might try 7:30 next time.  Just to play it safe.  I don't know if the holiday weekend was a factor.

When trying to figure out the archaic payment system last time, I saw that the library had stake (lol) state park passes to borrow.  I couldn't really find details about that either (like how long we could borrow the pass) and so I just reserved a park pass and tried it out.  It probably took about 10 days to get a pass.  We can borrow for 3 weeks, same as books.   I will just plan to keep a pass checked out all summer because the kids will also use. 

Money stuff has been pretty quiet but won't be quiet for long.  Just got a $2,000 MRI bill.  College expenses are just a 'second half of the year' thing.   At this point I guess, while most of MM(20)'s college savings are being pulled from other savings buckets.  & I think for DL(18) the timing worked out that I get a refund of first semester financial aid around the time the second semester is due. 

I expect MH and I have been way too relaxed and spending way too much money.  We have both been frittering money away on smaller things, which has never been our thing.  But that MRI bill is stressing me out and now I am realizing that college will be a big money outflow the second half of the year.  I've already told MH we will have to rein it in this summer when he is off work.  He is well aware of excess spending.  He seems kind of down on movie travel plans this year and has already seemed to decide he rather relax more and enjoy some smaller spending, and is willing to let go of some of the larger spending plans.  It's different, but it's interesting we both subconscionsly seem to have ended up in the same place. 

It just so happens that we have not had any 'big' expenses the first 4 months of the year.  (Other than travel plans, paid for with gift money).  I pulled money from savings the first time (this year) in May, when I purchased a new cell phone.   I expect this is why MH and I have been more relaxed about money. 

I need to add taxes to our expense tracking.  I have not bothered during these ~$0 tax years with kids.  But even just the payroll taxes, we are probably making $40K more than when I first took this job in 2018.  It's now $950/month payroll taxes.  & our income taxes will be about the same when kids are done with college (though we aren't paying much in the interim). Payroll and income taxes will suddenly become our two largest expenses.  

When looking how much we are in the black the past few months, I can see it's exaggerated without the taxes reducing income.  It's time to start tracking taxes and mentally preparing for when that is our #1 expense.   I may have also just left these off (payroll taxes specifically) so that I didn't have a heart attack during lowest one-income years.  But it's 22 years later now and things change.  

We did the traditional ‘after busy season time off and hike’.  But this time was a little different.  For the first time in 7? years I didn’t just look up the easiest hike I could find. I mean, the hike was labeled “easy”, I guess because of not a *lot* of elevation gain.  But after about a mile uphill, it did kick my butt.  MH’s job is way more physical and he seemed less bothered by it.  But he very heartily disagreed with the “easy” assessment.  It was a 4 mile hike with a lot of uphill.  And…  It was just perfect.  It is exactly what I needed.  I like that it was a bit more of a challenge, while being relatively easy.  & I probably would not have been up to that during several years of recent ‘survival mode'.

This morning I bought some hiking shoes, which should help.  I’d like to go back and redo with some better footwear.  & I am over this “once per year” hike schedule. I’ve decided that at a minimum we need to be doing a hike at least once every month.   

We do really need to take more advantage while our fuel costs pennies.  Not sure how long that will last.  Thinking to hitting more Bay Area and Tahoe hikes.  Last year I realized that we had extra freedom with MH done with the whole 'driving the kids to school' thing.  In addition to that, I do work from home one day per week.  I'd like to maybe once or twice a month hit an afternoon hike.  If it's easier for me to leave at 2 or 3.  I think we left closer to 3:00 for this hike and I was surprised how empty the parking lot was (both before and after our hike).  I expected more of an 'after work' crowd.

Here are some pictures from our hike yesterday.  This is only 30 minutes from our house.

I’ve done a good mix of relaxing and crossing things off my to do list, this week off work.  I feel I have both the physical and the mental energy to get things done.  While my time has skewed maybe 80% - 90% towards just relaxing.  It’s been a good balance.  

In other news...  I was not supposed to know this but MM(20) is engagement ring shopping.  MH and I got engaged when we were both 19, which was weird in our day.  Have got a lot of questions why we bothered to get engaged if we didn't plan to get married until after college.  (& it was just plain weird to get married in our early 20s). I presumed that MM(20) and his girlfriend are not in any rush.  They are certainly taking their sweet time.  I am not surprised at all that they plan to eventually get married.  But it is a big surprise that they are ring shopping.

The only reason I know is because the GF is going halvsies on the ring and she gave a chunk of money to MM(20).  I thought it was rent/utility related.  I am just trying to figure out how much I owe the kid for utilities.  So I asked him about it.  He got really uncomfortable and I thought, "Ugh, I don't want to know."  So I started to tell him, nevermind.  But by the time I changed course, he had already admitted it was for an engagement ring.  

What!?

Kudos to the girlfriend for getting MM to buy a $1,200 ring!  (This is what I presume, re: her $600 contribution).  She thinks it's cute that he is an extreme cheapskate.  It is not cute, and it will get old.  So I am relieved he can at least spend money on important things.  Not that I think a ring is important.  But you know, people first.  Then money, then things.  It's the "people first" part that I think he's wise to oblige. 

Admittedly, there could be a YOLO aspect re: girlfriend's recent health problems.  I presume they won't get married until after college, but who knows.  The girlfriend is *amazing* and a very welcome addition to the family. 

Here's a few pictures from MM's rose float.

After making it through work hell month (December) and jetting off for a few days...  My plan is to sleep all day today.  I have like 10 blog posts in my head (re: end of year tallies and so on) but this might be all I eke out.

At least I usually have New Years day to regroup, or a long weekend.  So I am feeling really behind and off kilter. 

Edited to add:  All of MM(20)'s winter break lodging was covered by the college, and most of the food was covered.  I think alumni take turns bringing meals to the kids, stuff like that.  He drove home for Christmas with a rose float van.  He was given the van and a gas card, in exchange for being in charge of a carpool.

We are back from our New Year's trip to Pasadena. 

The trip was mixed.  MM(20) was too busy and basically only had five minutes for us.  We had brought him some stuff from home, and so we met him at his hotel, just as he was taking off.  He did invited us to lunch with him and the group of students he was driving back to the college, but some of them had COVID and others were sick with whatever else.  We declined lunch with the sick people.

We didn't do the parade, but we went to the float showcase afterwards.  The downside is that for the most part there weren't any animations (the float operators were long gone).  But we did see one of the floats operating.  The plus side is you can get up so close and see the floats from all sides.  

I have lots of pictures to share, but will just start with a few.

MH and I had a nice dinner in a pub on New Year's eve.  We had found a free charger for the car and so just took our time.  As we thought ahead to the New Year, all I could figure was that it's going to suck.  That's my take on 2024.  Mostly thinking to health issues of various loved ones.  😔

I can see the theme is that it will be a challenging year on the health front.  This is the most obvious.  But I also think it's going to be a crazy bucket list year.  Some mix of low lows and high highs, probably.  The Pasadena New Year's thing was a magical 'once in a lifetime' way to start out the year.  Next month MH should be getting his movie made.  Those are the biggies.  But if we have any time and money left after that, we had been planning to make it to the Grand Canyon this year.  I think it's ridiculous we still have not made that work after 2013 canceled trip.  & it may very likely get pushed to the side *again*.  

On the challenging side...  GMIL's health is starting to slide.  Both our parents with cognitive decline seem to be worsening significanly in recent months. & I am probably the most beside myself about the girlfriend.  She's so young.  It sounds pretty unlikely that she can return to school this month.  The pandemic really slowed down our parents' cognitive declines.  So I have been bracing myself for some obviously rougher years, but I think this is it.  2024 is obviously going to be rough. My BIL is also still battling some mystery illness.

Fingers crossed, but I think I am out of the medical loop.  It's all been 'abundance of caution' that has never turned out to be anything.  But I had my first mammogram (ever) that was all clear the first round.  Phew!   I am shocked.  I was sure I'd have to go back this week.  Because I always do.

It was crazy for a while in 2018-2019 with all the medical appointments.  It has definitely been a step down from that.  But it's nice to take it down a step further and have the "all clear" re: everything medical.  I might have acheived this once in recent years but it did not last very long.  Fingers crossed.

This weekend was perfect and magical.  I really viewed it as more of a chore weekend, going into it.  Mostly driving down to the college to deliver a few things to MM(20).  

We drove 735 miles.  The first car charge was free, but apparently it was just a fluke.  We thought we were going to get free charging all weekend.  (Electrify America is often free on Holiday weekends.)

We spent $234 on the hotel and tickets.  I am guessing $400 with food and fuel and everything.  Probably not quite that much.  We didn't do any big meals.  But I am guessing $400-ish for the weekend.  Will tally it all up later. 

It was fleet week and we saw some jets doing a show.  Could see from the freeway on the drive down.  

I guess with DL(18) having a driver license and being more independent.  We are actually getting through some of these things we thought we would do while MM(20) was living on the central coast.

We went to this art installation.  Wasn't sure if it was going to be over hyped or what.  It was beautiful.  & we picked the perfect day to go.  The weather was absolutely perfect.   The sky was so dark (no moon) that the stars were amazing.  I saw a shooting star!

I thought it would be nice to get there before sunset.  This ended up being perfect.  It was gorgeous in the light too.  We walked the property during (a great) sunset and then we went inside to eat dinner.  Then we came out and walked more thoroughly through the lights.  We stopped a couple of times just to sit and enjoy, the view and the stars.

The next morning we headed to the beach.  There's still chatter of whales online, though clearly that all peaked the last time we were there.  (It was a day trip, I didn't know until we left, and we wouldn't have had time anyway).  So we tried, but no whales.  But we did see lots of dolphins.   

& we saw a very fast and good foil surfer.  I mean, I could watch the surfers all day.  But I barely noticed the surfers on this trip.  The dolphins stole the show.  & then MH and MM pointed out this foil surfer.  Just google it, it's the craziest thing.  It's hard to describe.  Even most the videos I found were "meh" compared to the guy we were watching.  He was just flying all over the place.  It took us a while to figure out what the heck we were even seeing. 

We took MM(20) with us to the beach and his girlfriend met us for lunch. 

MM(20) has some leadership position re: the rose float this year.  He was really eyeing these flowers at the restaurant.  I guess he has been trying to track them down.  So we learned a lot about that whole process.  I guess the school grows a lot of the flowers.  & I am sure they just have to buy some of what they need.  But this particular flower is the perfect shade for what they need and more difficult to find.  (Would take more than a season to grow).   & I guess that dyeing flowers is frowned upon.   The GF has these same flowers outside her on campus house, so they were in deep negotiations about how much MM could get away with "borrowing" flowers from her house.

Of course, the down side to this is I don't know when we will see MM(20) the rest of this year.  I actually gave him a camping mattress when we initially thought his bed would arrive some nights after he moved into his apartment.  It's only because of this that I know he has camping plans after New Years.  🙄  He mentioned it to me re: the camping mattress.  We will have to get him a round trip flight from LA for Christmas (he will only have a couple of days off).  & then I guess technically he should be free January 1st or 2nd?  But if he goes camping, we aren't going to see him much.

I really need to buckle down and make Pasadena plans.  I am very mellow about it because MM(20) stayed at the timeshare by Disneyland last year.  That was rather last minute.  I know we can find some lodging.  & I am sure we have missed the boat as to anything very convenient. But I am committing to figuring things out this weekend.  Ideally, we want to see all the floats before or after the parade.  I just don't want to deal with the peak crowd.  We briefly discussed and MM(20) insisted it's all free the night before, to see the floats up close.  I am not 100% sure if that's true, if he has access we won't have, etc.  But it's only $20 to go see all the floats afterwards.  (I just figured this out). I will be buying tickets soon, to have that insurance.   

Side note:  MM(20) will have free lodging near Pasadena.  Because he is staying and working until the parade, he will have free lodging.  Last year he left early and just went back to watch the parade.

Other than that, I am exhausted and would be happy to go *nowhere* the rest of this year.  But I have been really looking forward to the behind-the-scenes rose parade experience.  Financially, will probably be a 2024 expense.  Heck, even if I charge any of that in December, won't be paying for it until January.  Definitely a 2024 expense.  Except for these $20 tickets that I want to buy now.  

Success!

Not only did I have a peaceful week.  But was able to finally redo jinxed LA trip.  Third time was the charm.  Had planned this trip originally in 2019.  Was initially supposed to be Hearst Castle, Solvang, LA.  (We skipped Solvang this time, but we made it at some point.) 

If money were no object, the central CA coast is where I would live.  It has always been my favorite place.  It's more complicated than that.  Living close to family is more important, among other things.  I don't foresee ever moving to the central coast.  But maybe some extended (weeks long) vacations during early retirement, is probably how it would realistically translate.

Writing down before I forget: Ventura was beautiful.  Never noticed it before, but it was stunning when we drove though last week. 

This was the view from our hotel room.  It's our 'forever hotel' near the college.  The price was has quintupled on the weekends, in recent years.  But weeknights can still be reasonable.

This part of the trip was particularly magical.  The sky was so clear and the moonlight was so pretty.  As we were wrapping up packing the next morning, I looked outside and just happened to spot 2 dolphins swimming by!  

My niece is working at the college this summer.  She's pre-vet, and stayed there to take care of the animals.  After Hearst castle, we met up with her.  We got to meet the kittens she was fostering (OMG) and the baby goats she is taking care of.  

Not much to say about the rest of the trip.  I holed up in the LA hotel for 3 days while MH attended the film festival.  It was over in a blink.  I guess that's how time is any more.  But I did relax and enjoyed the peace.  

We were not able to charge at the hotel and I thought that would be more challenging.  But we ended up in so much LA traffic that it added a lot of range to the car.  (Braking generates electricity.)  Because of that, we drove about 60 miles (from last charger) and ended up with 20 more miles (range) than we started with.  Got the battery up to 85%?

I still thought we'd do a quick stop on the way out (once the battery drained enough; charging is much faster on an emptier battery).  But once we guaged the traffic (hit more on the way out of LA) and re-assessed once we got out of the madness, it was an easy 2-stop drive home.  I think last time our second stop had been much shorter.   That was probably the difference with being able to start out with a full charge. 

I think the trip will end up being about $1,750.  Most of that is hotels.  About $400 for food and $70 at chargers.  1,000 miles driven.  I am not used to paying for hotels.  So, ugh.  The trip feels quite extravagant in that regard.  But we better get used to it.  MIL has been flip flopping about her timeshare (that we just want to get rid of).  So it initially sounded like maybe we could use the rest of the year.  But last MH brought it up, he said they had gone back to getting rid of it ASAP.  Which is really all good and for the best.   I want to go back to LA for New Year's (rose parade) and so it's just going to be one of those years.  I think we spent our vacation budget on the last LA trip.  

I am earmarking future gift/bonus money to offset the whole 'loss of free timeshare' thing.  I am also not interested in traveling with my kids in the future.  (Those timeshares were the best for bigger family trips.)  Just winging it for now.  Will be able to plan better with the heads up in future years.  & I just expect a completely revamped budget at some point in the future.  But with two kids in college, it's not in our plans to actually increase our vacation budget.  It's all been far more extravagant than anything I envisioned during these college years.  I really thought we'd just be more homebodies, but there's just been so many opportunities and we have the cash to take advantage.  This is the only year I can realistically get to the rose parade (re: work schedule).  While MM(20) is building rose floats.  So it's at least a 3x LA year.  

Thankfully, MH went back to work Tuesday.  & he was actually busy.  (It usually starts out pretty slow, after summer break).  & the LA hotel was slow to show up on the credit card.  So I am probably going to kick that can down the road a month and let MH's income cover that.  It's all the same in the end (as MH would roll his eyes and tell me) but I personally like slowing the money drain.  I am looking at August and I've just got the new tires and $1,000 of vacation expenses to pay off in September.  Was able to kick off medical bills and the LA hotel to be paid for in October (charged in September).  & MH's October income might cover those extras.

Spending will slow, as everyone settles back to school and work. 

Enjoying a nice bout of cooler weather.  & the clouds/sunsets that come with the cooler weather.

I got some more firm college numbers for DL(18).  Woohoo!

I've been following actual CSU college numbers (over the decades) and planning for $30K (sticker price) degrees for my kids. 

Actual cost = $30,400 at DL's specific college.  It looks like it will be closer to $32K with parking permits (over 4 years).  I am considering that as part of tuition/fees, since the parking is kind of necessary to be able to commute to the college. 

Up until this afternoon, that's all the info I had.  $32,000 degree minus $10,000 college tax credits = $22K max I expect to pay for this degree.  

It sounded likely the kids would have similar state middle class grants, but I was second guessing because I recently read it depend on the college.  & for all I know, DL(18) didn't get the paperwork in.  I don't know!  I had this number in April? when MM applied to college, but I didn't know if I'd get this number (for DL) until after I paid for DL's first year of college.  Or like 9 months later.  🙄 

But I saw the topic come up in the college parent group (MM's college) today and it looked people had real numbers.  What!?  

DL(18) got a $4K grant!   (I was able to log into his state grant account).  I am so relieved that everything went through. 

The best part is these grants are increasing every year.  Was more like $2K MM's first year.  Then $3K.  Then $4K.  

DL's expected net college costs:

$32,000 Tuition/fees

-10,000  tax credits

-16,000  CA middle class grants

---------

$6,000 Net cost

Probably minus some increased middle class grants in the future, which could easily net out this cost to $0.  

Of course, it's not quite so simple.  The tax credit thing gets complicated.  If middle class grants increase any further, then the tax credits will decrease.  & I mean, we won't even get the full $2,500 tax credit this first year.  But I feel pretty confident saying that DL will probably pay no more than $5K for his degree (if he can finish in 4 years).  

It sounds like most likely I won't get any refunds from DL's school until next year.  His tuition (full sticker price) and parking permit will be $4,000 for the spring semester.  Due end of December maybe?  Early January?  But the school will owe me this $4,000 (grant) refund, so that should be a wash.  Because of this, I've checked off DL's freshman year as done and paid for.  In my sidebar.  The $4K cash already paid should be all I need to come up with for the next 11 months.  Phew!  Feeling relieved because the money drain was pretty crazy in August/September.  Paid college x2, medical bills, last minute vacation and so on.  

The planner in me is very happy.  We plan to just cash flow DL's college expenses (with income).  I didn't think it would amount to much more than $1,500 per year.  But it's nice to have firm numbers and a more firm plan.

DL(18) is just living at home, so no other college expenses to figure out.  I mean, he's got a bigger commute now, but he is covering those expenses.

We went to a local college arboretum last weekend.  The pictures don't do it justice but I've never seen such vibrant poppies anywhere else. 

As to everything else, I wouldn't know where to begin.  I touched on some of it in my monthly wrap up.

Work is a spiraling vortex of insanity. 

My employee is leaving me.  😭😭😭

This is forseeable because she has wanted to move out of state and have babies, probably the entire time she has worked at this job.  (I brought her over from my last job).  But after all the talks about giving as much heads up as possible...  Basically got a one-week notice because she gave notice on my week off.  But her husband wanted to give *zero* notice, and so here we are.  & overall, just sad, because I have worked with her for 10 years and she is an amazing human.  😭  She is moving out of state.

Of course, most of my burnout is just the "everything out of my control is completely absurd" factor.  But because this was foreseeable I hired our last two admin assistants with this in mind.  It's paying off for me right now.   We promoted an employee to fill her position.  So patting myself on the back a bit.  Phew!  It's adding to the chaos though, because we are training two positions now.  But is probably the only reason I am not totally freaking out.  

The "planning ahead" is helping my sanity, but what a week!  On Monday we tried to offer the open admin assistant position to a candidate and ended up rescinding the offer.  (It got weird, and I think we dodged a bullet).  If that's not enough drama for one day, my boss ended up firing someone.  I think it will be a good change for the long term, but it's just very chaotic right now.   

May has been very quiet on the home front.  June will be busy, in contrast.  Picking up MM(19) from college, annual camp trip, etc.  DL(17) high school graduation.  

DL(17) got a job.  The job market is rough and he has been looking for a year.  I am not even sure if MM(19) will be able to get an internship this summer.  As a freshman?  Easy peasy.  But now everyone is pulling back hiring.  & for reference, I just put up an entry level job ad and got 200 applications in a few days.  I told DL(17) I wouldn't hold my breath about it being easier when he turns 18.

So DL(17) was feeling desperate and he applied at the summer camp we go to every year.  They were the only employer to ever call him back.  & he got the job!  It sounds like it was close though.  They went from severely understaffed to, "I am not sure there's enough room in the boys' dorm for one more person."  

I don't know if he will make it all summer.  I don't expect him to be mentally healthy enough to live in a dorm all summer.  (He's moody enough at home, and is very noise sensitive.  This is with 3 bedrooms entirely to himself; sharing 2600 square feet with two other people).  But we can help, with the EV.  It's $4 fuel for the 200 miles roundtrip.  If we have to rescue him on his breaks, will support him as much as we can.   & while I am skeptical, I am proud of him for giving it a try.  

I was just focusing on his mental health and the tight living quarters.  I expect he'd also be homesick.  It's going to be rough.

DL will mostly be paid in room and board, which is not the most useful.   That, and $2,400.  The rough math is that it probably works out to $6 per hour.  (I am not sure how many hours he will be expected to work.)  Of course, if we have any food savings, I will give that money to him.  The $2,400 will cover his car expenses for a year and will give him some spending money.  It's sufficient for his needs.

I haven't been sweating it because when he applied for jobs in person no one wanted to deal with work permits.  (He won't need a work permit after high school, even though he will be 17 for a while). & It should be easier when he turns 18 this summer.  I figured worst case, he could get a campus job in the fall.  I think that will be more his speed, working something like 10 hours a week year round.  

I had a week off work with absolutely nothing planned.  My expectations were pretty low (that it would be peaceful).  It ended up being a mix of some peaceful days and some challenging days.  & a bomb was dropped on me re: work.  Ugh.  Another post for another day.

I did make it to my other happy place (above).  This was a neighborhood in San Francisco, where my friend lived during our college years.  Another little slice of paradise. 

I hadn't even realized until my week off, but...  MH could take some time off with me!  What a difference it makes, to not have to wait until 4:00 until the kids are chauffered.  It was a "the kid has a driver license" benefit I hadn't realized.  So we did do one day in San Francisco.  We went to an art museum, ate at a fancy restaurant with a beach view (enjoyed watching the kite surfers) and went for a sunset hike. 

We had bought a more premium museum membership in 2020, to help out the museum during the pandemic.  & figured we'd maybe get more use out of that during these college years (expecting to be more frugal/pinched).  The premium membership has reciprocal membership with other museums.  This was the first time we had used our local museum membership for free admittance to another museum.  But I don't expect much the rest of this year.  We have too many plans already for this year.

I expect the whole "kid driver license" thing is why we have had so many weekend trips already this year.  It's just easier to say yes to things.  I hadn't really thought about it before, but clearly we are enjoying the extra freedom.

Waiting, waiting, waiting...  Feels like absolutely anything and everything is delayed.  RA decisions were delayed, because of course.  All of these film festivals keep delaying...  & then I was thinking that I hope financial aid isn't delayed for several months again, this year.   Last year MM's internship took forever to sort out.  I am stressed about college housing (the longer we delay the harder it will be) and it would be nice to have any clue what financial aid situation is before...  January?  The rest is just annoying.  But it's a *lot* of annoying.  MH was literally just telling me some film thing was delayed 2 months.  He's waiting to hear for the last? film festival, but they've already delayed several times.  I don't know why all these organizations keep pushing back 1-2 weeks, and then doing that like 10 times.  They are driving me crazy!  

We did do our first big road trip in the EV, to LA.  950 miles roundtrip.  This trip was easy peasy.  It was only 160 miles from our hotel (near college town) to LA hotel.  Which made our first *big* drive very *shrugs*.  We've done the 600 mile college roundtrip several times already.  We took our time on the way down and spent 3 days.  Every morning we were able to start with a full charge (hotel chargers). 500 miles down the 101.  We took I-5 back (Sunday) which was more direct (only 400 miles).  But there are far less EA and EVGo charging options on the I-5.  Still, we didn't look for any other chargers and it worked out.  (No extra stops required.  We were able to charge to 100% at our hotel for free, for the big drive home.  We just stopped to charge while we ate and took one charge/pit stop.) Out of curiosity, I just looked up other chargers.  As I expected, there's some gas station chargers along the route.  & we missed a free rest stop charger.  It's another post for another day.  

The trip went as smooth as possible.  Phew!  I really appreciate it.  Because life has been a whirlwind of crazy lately.  And also, the last couple of LA trips I had planned were canceled.  So I feel like it was a miracle we even made it.  Even moreso that it was such a peaceful trip.  But we did have one snafu.  MH's car fob battery died without any warning.  I did not bother to bring my keys, but he did have both our car keys.  So we just switched out the batteries.  Problem solved.  Phew!  

& the drive was absolutely spectacular.  After all the storms, everything is so green and vibrant.  & the beginning of the superblooms, etc.  

The picture above is from a beach near MM's college.  It is one of my happy places.  I had been there several times before, but we hiked in a different direction towards the wildflowers this time.  The landscape was otherwordly at many of these beaches.

Work is...  Ugh!  I don't even know where to begin with that.  This week should have been the hump.  Done with all the tax deadlines and should be quiet the rest of the year.  But I can't get any peace and so I couldn't even get a relaxing weekend before the next very large obstacle.  Another post for another day.  I am more irritated about the timing than anything.  The whole situation is forseeable and overall I feel more prepared now than I ever would have in the past.  So I can appreciate that.  Lord knows *why* the bomb couldn't have just been dropped on my *after* my quiet week off.  Or... why couldn't it just wait another month?  Give me one quiet month before it all goes to heck!? 

{I am taking this week off work.  Because it's the first week I could reasonably do so, ideally without coming back to a mess.}

In other news, MM(19) did not get the RA position.  Decisions came out late, as I mentioned.  It's terrible, as I imagined it would be.  When we visited MM(19) last Friday it sounded like he had a few housing options.  But none of those have panned out.  On the flip side, I had to figure this out alone during my college years (no adults helping me) and so I know it will work out.  I have backup plans for the backup plans.  I mean, I didn't go to school in a college town.  That part is particularly challenging.  But I know worst case, he has to buy a car and will find something further off campus.  (Is not ideal for his school situation, but is what I did and the rent is significantly cheaper this way.)  The RA applicant (parents) have been getting advice from other parents that it will work out, it just won't be ideal.  I *feel* this very much right now, after a week of apartment hunting.  I suppose our other advantage is having money to throw at the problem.  This is just the most out of my comfort zone and wheelhouse, of everything going on right now.  

And...  It's down to the wire with taxes.  I am breaking this out into two posts and will do my more financial post next.  & will get into why I did our taxes so late this year.  But then there's everyone else's taxes.  GMIL's taxes are complicated and terrible.  Because of her scammy brokerage situation.  So I have to wait a long time to make sure I have everything (her 1000 pages of investment 1099s), and then we went to LA last weekend.  & I've been putting out fires every night this week.  So here we are.  I procrastinated most of yesterday but it wasn't as terrible as I remember.  Maybe even finished in a few hours.  Phew!  Have to help her get her taxes paid, but at least her taxes are filed.

& then doing the in-laws' taxes.  This is new this year.  Thankfully, their taxes are easy peasy.  I appreciate that, especially because they have the same scammy broker situation.  But apparently most of that is in IRAs.  Phew!  I am doing their taxes because FIL can no longer handle (dementia).  I really thought I'd put them on extension and never in a million years expected I'd have everything.  But I seem to have everything, by some miracle.  (I think the first time FIL handed me the tax file, it had absolutely no paperwork for 2022 taxes.  & I've been too busy to look at it since whenever he actually gave me the 2022 file.)  It was a lot more work for the first time set up, but these will be easy peasy taxes in the future.

I am waiting to hear back from the in-laws before I finalize.  So unfortunately all this tax stuff is bleeding into my vacation time.  But I can appreciate that 99% of the work is done. 

Edited to add:  Taxes done.  Yay!  I was just feeling cranky about spending Saturday and half of Sunday wrapping up everyone else's taxes.  But I under-estimated how good it would feel to get that done and have literally nothing on my plate for a half day.  Everything else is on "ignore".  I am enjoying vacation mode.

I think that the storms are over. The reward was this sunset.

I was sad to see that this plant had toppled over.   

(Picture is from summer 2021) 

Between all the storms, and also having a class (online) Weds/Thurs, I didn't venture out until my dentist appointment on Friday.   I left our newer neighborhood 'small tree' bubble.  I was driving on a road that had a large park on one side and an older neighborhood on the right side.   O.M.G.  It just looked like such a disaster zone.  Tree limbs and tree stumps and cut up trees just filled yards and lined up streets.  The park had a lot of fallen trees that were clearly low priority because they weren't blocking roads.  & I mean, I just drove by and saw a small glimpse of a very large park.  This was 6 days after the big wind storm.  There's still a lot of work to do.

I saw an estimation that 1,000+ trees fell in the city. 

Saturday we had a big rain deluge.  It didn't last long but caused a lot of street flooding.  I am grateful it was short. 

On New Year's I heard that was the biggest storm in 30 years, or during the time we have lived here.  That just feels like "nothing" at this point, after all these mega storms the last couple of weeks. 

Now it's on to sunny skies.  Phew!

Note:  Still storms elsewhere and a lot of snow expected in the mountains.  But it sounds like the last storm or two will pass us by.

We got MM(19) moved into his college apartment.

He is back to paradise...

A pretty scene on the drive home:

I have to back up and say that I went to get my last free ~100 mile charge by the shelter, the weekend prior.  Was maybe going to justify one more to help offset this drive, but otherwise DL(17) needs to practice this drive in the gas car and will be driving himself soon.  So...  I pulled up to the charger (happy as a lark) and...  it asked me for my credit card?  Alas, it is no longer free.  Couldn't even get that one last free charge.  (It looks like they just move the free chargers around.  Another charger in the same network is free now.  Nothing very practical but I just need to keep it in mind if something comes up in that neighborhood, and keep checking).

It's moot because...  We pulled up to the first charger on the college trip and...  It was free!  

Total miles driven: 820

Total free miles: ~500

The plan was to go very practical this trip and just to charge while we were stopped anyway.  But the free charging quickly changed that scenario.  Stayed a little longer for free charging.  Also, we got new tires.  Between that and the car being so loaded down, the range was absolutely terrible on the drive down.  So between that and the free charging...  Was still just one stop each way, but longer than we initially planned.  & we made a lot more charge stops than planned.  For example, we went to Target and the chargers were free, so of course we took advantage.  

Electrify America ended up being free all 3 days.  Apparently because they are updating their network.  I don't know.  At first we weren't sure if it was just our first stop.  Or just the weekend.  But it ended up being free for the whole trip.  Woohoo!

Our first charge stop was interesting.  South of the Bay Area we stopped at the outlet mall on a Saturday.  Probably busier than we have seen it.  Had been more stopping there on off days.  We saw *3* electric Mustangs.  Never seen them before.  They are cute.  & we saw an Amazon prime truck charging. The Outlets have 8? EA chargers, have the Tesla chargers, the EV Go chargers, and some of the gas stations have chargers.  There is no lack of chargers here.  I was fascinated though because several people came and went quickly.  I texted my Dad at some point and he asked if we had to wait (clearly it sounded very busy).  I told him no, it was all the rich people with their super fast charging cars.  We saw another Mustang charging at the hotel later, which makes me think that is the most popular electric car right now (aside from Tesla).  But then I didn't see any after that.  Saw some giant pickup trucks charging too, the first day.  Rivian (which is a more local company, So Cal?)   We stopped the same place on Monday and it was much quieter.  But I saw a Porsche and two Ioniqs.  Other cars probably came and went, while we went for a walk.  (The first day I stayed in the car because we had it loaded with college stuff.  So I watched everyone come and go).  Ioniq ~ I think that's the Hyundai, they charge crazy fast.  MH talked to the Ioniq guy next to us.  He had just driven from So Cal to British Columbia and was heading back home.  (Their 2023? model will have a 380 mile range.)

It's fascinating to me how quickly it all changes.  Past road trips were all just older/retired people.  Usually men.  Everyone wants to talk about their cars.  How fast does your car charge?  What's the range?  (Our car might charge slow, but have talked to a lot of people with crazy low ranges, trying to do longer road trips.)   Generally no two cars were the same. This time was markedly differently.  Lots of family cars and kids.  No one's standing around and talking because their cars charge fast.  They are running to the bathroom and/or the store and grabbing a quick charge.

I suppose I have to back up more.  We had never loaded the EV up with stuff before.  I think the difference in the size of our cars is negligible but MH was worried it would be too small.  So we made sure to charge up both cars and were ready to take what was more practical.  In the end, I think the EV had more cargo space.  MH brought more stuff and there was more room.  Phew! 

(If we had taken my car, we never would have known we would have missed all that free charging.  My car is not compatible with the fast chargers.)

Spending:

$394 Hotel (saved a bajillion dollars, found a hotel 30 miles from the college.)

$242 Dining Out

That's probably all I am going to put to the 'vacation' category.  This puts us to $870 of our $2000 vacation budget.    I think the $1,130 remaining is reasonable for Arizona trip.  (We have a free hotel for 4 nights).

We are getting a ~$1,000 inflation payment from our state.  Probably next month?  I am just going to throw at vacation dollars.  It will give us a little breathing room for Arizona.  (Food or gas will likely put us over).  & then leaves any money left over if we want to visit MM(19) this calendar year.  Or if any other festivals come up.

Food spending on this trip was mixed.  Treated niece/MM/MM's girlfriend to a big dinner on Saturday night.  But we only spent $10 on the drive home (fast food).  First day we fed MM(19) for lunch but then MH and I went to our cheapie/good place by the beach for dinner.  We've always gone there because it's *amazing*.  Only found out recently they have $4 pizza slices.  We spent ~$20 on that, beer and gelato.  Saturday we actually ended up having a big mexican lunch (YUM) and so MH and I just split an entree when we took out the kids. 

We went to Home Depot, Target, and did a grocery run (will absorb in grocery budget).  I don't think we will do a grocery run at home, this week.  MH made chili for DL(17) as requested.  So that he wouldn't have to cook while we were gone.  Then he forgot and didn't eat it.  It's to the point I will be giving food away at work this week.   We have so much food!  With the *big eater* gone...

Fuel: $22

Fuel detail: $5 to charge at home, $4 for EA monthly pass (for discounts we apparently didn't need/use). Hotel had a slow charger that was on the expensive side.  Not the most practical but is most of what we spent.  That was $13 for 114 miles.  

If we spent any more on fuel, I'd add it to the vacation budget.  But it ended up being so inexpensive, I will just absorb the cost in our monthly budget.

The next few weeks are busy busy busy with film festivals.

First, I just want to say that the theme here is OMG, life is crazy but money things are very very good.  This is just getting magnified (the money part).  This week was so busy I feel like I am 10 posts behind on getting caught up.  (& I am determined to get caught up, on some level.  Especially because of all the money stuff.  If I blog about nothing else, will get to the money stuff). 

Money stuff to follow in future posts...

We got MM(18) back from college.  Woohoo!  

My last post:

MM(18) is not spending any money on campus.  He is enjoying the all-inclusive lifestyle.  He's traveling to LA some weekends to work on a joint project with another college.  So he does spend some money on food on the road.  I expect he also has to contribute some to gas.  I've seen a couple of ATM and venmo withdrawals but haven't asked him about those in any detail.  I know he had some club dues to pay, and I just presume he is contributing gas when he gets rides to LA.

We get him home for Thanksgiving break, so we are excited about that. 

In the end MM(18) told me he had more cash now than when he started.  ???  I guess Grandma slipped him $40 when she visited and maybe gave him $30 for Halloween.   He had $80 of club dues to pay, but hasn't really spent any money otherwise.  (Because he withdrew the club money from the ATM, he now has all this extra/new cash).

& that reminds me, his books cost 97% less than when we were in college.  😱  For his degree, they mostly don't use books.  To be honest, the '97% less' was "this is chaos, just order new books at the book store your first quarter and we will pay for them."  That was 97% cheaper.  (MH and I didn't move out of town for college and we found it very overwhelming, getting him moved into dorms, moving 5 hours away, etc.). MH initially didn't agree that he should buy his own books, but he quickly came around, when he realized it will cost pennies.  MM(18)'s problem to figure out in the future.  He is frugal and will figure it out.  He only had to buy books for an english class.  He probably won't need to buy any for his all-science load this next quarter.  The science/math profs just give them pdfs of what they need.

I have the week off.  I was more than happy to drive to paradise to pick MM(18) up and to do the same next weekend to drop him off.  😁  

As to forgetting to refuel...  LOL.  

MH's car is still on recall (it will be a while) and isn't a useful roadtrip car in the short run.  So we are driving the hybrid on longer trips (this is pretty much our only "long trip").  We had the nicest day yesterday.  We stopped by the beach and ate lunch at our favorite little cheapie place by the beach.  The weather was perfect.  We had planned to get gas while eating but didn't pass the gas station on the way in to town.  All *3* of us promptly forgot.  MH and I 99% of the time just plug in our cars overnight to fuel (we've gone 100% electric, except for "long trips during recall").  It's no wonder we forgot.

Fast forward a few hours later and thankfully my car beeped at me and flashed the low fuel warning. !! Thank you newer/fancy car!  My first thought was literally, "But we just got fuel!"  Then quickly, "Oh....  Crap, we were going to but we didn't!"  We were about 30 miles from the next gas.  Which took a while to figure out because we had no cell service.  What I don't like about the newer cars is they just switch to "low fuel" and no longer give you an estimate.  But at that point I had about 30 miles left on gas (& surely an extra gallon of reserve above that).  & I had about 20 miles on electric left.  I had wanted to conserve it for some of the bigger hills but we let it go.  Figured it was better not to run out of gas.  😉  (The car is desgined to be driven with no electric fuel, but I think it needs *some* gas to function.  We erred on draining the electricity first).

That just added a little fun and excitement to our day.  It's been so long since I've had a gas car (er, regularly used gas), that it didn't even cross my mind that we obviously have some gas reserve.  Until I just typed this out right now!  

{Actually, now I am second guessing that last thought.  If it says "low fuel", is that the extra gallon of reserve?  I think it is, with newer cars.  I just looked it up and it's a 8.9 gallon tank.  We used 8.4 gallons.  So we were running as low on gas as we thought we were.  In the old cars, they'd go down to "empty" and you'd still have a gallon.}

In the end, we found cheaper gas anyway.  In the middle of nowhere.  It all worked out. 

We've got MM(18) all moved in at his college.  Phew!  The first week was pretty much a vacation for him.  Orientation week, with some practical orientation stuff but also a bajillion activities.  Some highlights were crawdad fishing and beach bonfires.  Classes started last week.  All my fingers and toes are crossed that the kids can stay on campus this year.  

MM(18) had never gone back to school after the pandemic started, so I can't even imagine the stimulation overload he is experiencing. 

I am personally very zen about the emptier nest.  Probably for many reasons.  MM(18) is very independent and will be just fine.  My bff attended this college and I spent many a weekend there during my college years.  So it helps that it's very familiar to me.  Also, my parents never really took us anywhere, *but* for this incredible deal of a beachfront hotel they found in the 1980s, that's about 10 minutes from this campus.  I think the whole thing would have been a lot harder if we didn't have such a familiar place to go to that first night.  We gave MM(18) about 24 hours to get settled, before we left.

I am planning a trip in a couple of weeks.  Ideally will be taking DL(16) with me.  He has never been to the college/town and would be good for him to see where his brother is living.  He asked to stay at the usual hotel and so I obliged.  But that necessitated a mid-week stay at $200+ per night versus a weekend stay at $400+ per night.  (Yeah, it's not the insane deal that it once was).  In the future we will be finding other places to stay.  In fact, MH wants to be cheap and not stay at a hotel at all (during move-in, when we visit, etc.)  I told him we were too old and well off to make that a day trip (10 hours round trip, just for the drive).  I said something like, "We aren't 18 any more."   😉  But we could probably stay with our parents for a night and make a day trip of it.  I basically set the college travel budget to -$0- once MM(18) accepted at this college.  The costs are very minimal (especially with the electric car) and can be absorbed in our regular vacation budget.  

I may be zen, but MH Is not zen at all.  He was the one home with kids, and both MM and MH have been home together mostly 24/7 the prior 18 months.  On top of that, MH just had a really rough week.  His coping clearly improved after a couple of days, even as things continued to go to heck.  *sigh*

Oh yeah, and MH was called back to work a couple of weeks ago but then that got postponed indefinitely.

I guess it's just a lot of limbo at this point.  Considering October a bit of a limbo month.  

One of the big things is figuring out the food situation in our household.  I would have guessed that MM(18) was about 50% of our household grocery spending.  I am not quite so sure now.  Besides DL(16) being picky and looking starved...  Any extra junky food I brought home has disappeared in a flash.  So I am thinking that DL(16) is just more of a stealthy eater.  Still, he is pickier with dinners.  We clearly no longer have to make dinner every night *and* double batch everything.  It's been more cooking every other night.  We are probably going to do some major revamping of our meals.  I mean if DL(16) seriously won't eat what we cook, then we will drastically change our cooking.  Feeding two middle aged people is entirely different from feeding "5,000 calories per day teenager athlete."  We don't need all the calories and so we just have a lot to figure out.  Maybe starting to mix in our future empty nest diet with "still have a very high calorie teenager" diet.  Alternating days. 

I am just waiting to see how October shakes out.  How MM's spending shakes out at college, how our grocery spending shakes out here.  If we notice any difference in our utilities, etc.  Once this starts to sort out then I can make sense of our budget going forward.

MM(18) is pretty much on his own, financially.  & I mean, we are covering tuition/room/board/medical.  I just mean anything above and beyond that.  But on the flip side, his job fell through last month and he ended the summer with about $3,000 less than we expected.  So that is why I am anxious to see how much spending he ends up doing and what he needs to cover.  Also, still trying to decide if we help him with groceries and stuff like that.  It just depends how much he is spending and how much we are saving.  If our grocery spending literally goes down by half, I could probably send him some grocery money.  It is our preference that he does not work this first quarter.  Something else to just re-evaluate mid-year.  

MM's first impressions are that he can remain uber frugal.  He's already told us he won't need a bike and that he doesn't see any reason to spend money.  It will be interesting if this still stands in another month or two.

MM has been okay with the food so far, but he also started up long distance running.  I honestly don't know if he will have enough food for that.  At home, he'd eat 5 large meals a day.  I guess that's the other thing we will have to figure out.  See if he has enough dining dollars (I already bought the biggest plan and am doubtful it will be enough).  There will be lots of tweaking everything "food" in the next few months.

& then of course, figuring out what the heck is going on with MH's job.  It is not surprising at all that is up in the air (with the pandemic) but the timing (and indecision of his employer) just sucked.  He was looking forward to going back to work and having the distraction.  

Will see how next week goes but if MH is still unemployed as of October 1, I guess we will also be going back to one-income mode.  & some of that might be shifting more financial responsibility to MM(18).  I don't know how it's all going to shake out. 

As always, the work situation is complicated.  I'd say that MH will be pretty picky until the pandemic eases and DL(16) gets his driver's license. The bottom of the barrel jobs are opening up yes, but then there's just more competition for better jobs.  His job is worth waiting out the month of October for.  If they are still delaying indefinitely or telling him nevermind, once October is ending, then it will be back to the drawing board.  Which may likely just be taking another year off.  I don't know.  I am probably more of the "screw this, just retire" mentality.  MH thinks the grass is greener and idealizes full-time work to help him deal with the emptier nest and the impending empty nest.  He is also extremely financially conservative and so wants to be working while we are paying for college.  Because of this I am sure my blog is confusing as we vacillate between these two extremes (retire or work full-time).