Just a 48-year-old mom of 2 in Northern California. My kids are Monkey Monkey(MM) and Drama Llama (DL). I am married to Monkey Hubby (MH). My cat didn't make it.
It's never easy but this one is really hard. It was so completely out of left field. He had so much energy and life when we dropped him off. His liver numbers never improved. Within 24 hours he went from 'appearing very healthy' to 'it's time to put him out of his misery'.
He was 14.
Hell froze over and life relented. In what world do I get to grieve my cat in peace for 3 whole days or process *any* grief. What!? Life has not let up during my 40s. It feels like such an incredible luxury to just sit with my feelings. I haven't had any time or space to grieve anything the last decade. It's always on to the next emergency, before I can process anything. While it's not fun, I recognize that it's very healthy (to actually grieve) and it's a luxury I have not had in a very long time.
I took a nap Friday around 4pm. I had some peaceful time where I felt I should rip off the band aid and tend to a few things. Let his primary vet know. & I transferred money from savings to pay off the vet bill. I could not even begin to imagine having to think about this financially for another X months or years. I thought, "I will transfer the money now but clearly can't do much until Tuesday." Ally is pretty fast to transfer and my CU always gives me funds 1-2 days early. But *never* have I been able to set up a transfer around 4pm and get the money in my account in a couple of hours. Not even if I set up the transfer at 7am. So I took my nap. Woke up and saw my paycheck hit my bank account already (4 days early re: weekend and holiday). & the Ally transfer I had just started was there. What!? Felt like divine intervention. I told MH it was a small thing. I expect the grief to still be very fresh on Tuesday. I could have handled making the credit card payment on Tuesday and being done with it. But the money part is done and life moves on. & I appreciate closing that chapter.
We talked about running away to Pismo Beach. There was one room left (at our forever hotel, the only place I would stay) and the cost was within the realm of reason somehow. Even with the Holiday weekend (it hasn't been reasonable on the weekends, in recent years). I told MH I would see how I felt after my nap. I actually felt pretty terrible after my nap and changed my mind. Looked up a few hotels closer to home (that didn't involve 10 hours in the car, roundtrip). Things are pretty booked up for the holidays, and expensive in prime destinations. I told MH, "You know what? I like sleeping in my own bed, and saving a bajillion dollars."
We did go to the coast for the day (Saturday) and I think it was a perfect 'denial stage' activity.
My cat had a big personality. I know it will be very quiet, and that part will be hard. But it helps as we share the infinite memories of all his quirks and antics. 💞
February 16th, 2026 at 06:15 pm 1771265755
I'm glad you have some time to process, and that the money gods aligned so that you could pay off the bills and get that part taken care of right away.
Virtual hugs.
February 16th, 2026 at 11:13 pm 1771283622
Also, I too am a fan of staycations, just saying.
February 17th, 2026 at 03:12 am 1771297947
February 17th, 2026 at 01:15 pm 1771334116
February 18th, 2026 at 11:16 am 1771413406
February 19th, 2026 at 09:41 pm 1771537313
February 22nd, 2026 at 09:00 pm 1771794043