Monkey Mama*s Monkey Money Blog

Knock on wood, but the year is going well so far. More peace and quiet than I remember in *forever*.

I can't tell you what I am doing with this latest reset. Crossing my fingers that the tornado around me loses some steam? I'm trying to be more assertive with work hours? But... this only works when everyone isn't out with some emergency or other.

{I can't imagine what else I could possibly do within my realm of control. Which is why I am just at the point of crossing my fingers}.

MH has the month off, so I expect this is contributing to the peace.

I did "fire" one of my side clients. The feeling is mutual and it is all good. This leaves me with one remaining client. I am more than ready to move on and will be rid of them soon. But the workload is just about an hour a month, so I can give it a little more time. 12/31 is my hard deadline, not wanting to drag any more red tape into 2021.

Of course, *the* most exciting thing is that I am enjoying my first tax season off in 20 years. 🎈🎉🎈 I always worked several jobs in my teen/college years. Post college I have always had a busy/OT season. So... I have started semi-semi-retirement? Was a step down that I wasn't particularly planning or expecting.

A couple of weekends ago MH went to the Bay Area to help his parents with some things. I was not up to it whatsoever.

Last weekend we hosted a game night. In the spirit of trying to get out of "reactive" mode (just reacting to everything that is going on), this was our attempt to do something more proactive. When talking about it, we were pretty set on just setting a time every month with "no excuses". So when it turned out that MH already had a commitment on our first game night, I told him not to worry about it. & then I remembered why I never invite any adults anywhere, because they have to plan 90 days in advance or whatever. 🙄 Then MM(16) wasn't feeling well. But DL(14) pulled it through. He's definitely the most social and has always had a big group of friends. The played a lively game of Diplomacy. (I really didn't think anyone would play that with him. But the art school kids seem to embrace some of this stuff from a more theatrical standpoint). All I did was cook and clean all day Saturday (so behind on the house, and MH wasn't here to even run to the grocery store for me). But it was most definitely worth it. I enjoyed taking all that "work" energy of decades past (usually working Saturdays) and channeling it into my family and friends.

This weekend has been more of the same. I had an opportunity to do some unique charity work, so that was my big commitment this weekend. It was exhausting, but very rewarding. We also hosted all of our parents Friday night; DL(14) had another band concert. I am enjoying having the time for different things.

MH and I are going to Napa on another weekend. It sounds absolutely divine. It's such a short drive and we usually keep it very low key. Will probably do one nice dinner out and a hike. But MH's birthday is this month and I usually take off a weekend for that. So that will be more in the realm of our normal. I suppose it will be nice not having to cram and worry if I can really manage a Saturday off.

I do have a mountain of bad news, but it's sad to say that it doesn't feel like much because the pace has slowed considerably. Phew! I even made some comment a couple of days ago that 2020 was off to a much better start and MH looked at me like I was crazy. Fair enough, but these things are relative. His Grandma is very sick and we are worried about her. My Dad is going in for a biopsy next month. Etc., etc.

Edited to add: Things took a turn, back to emergency mode. We are rushing off to the Bay Area today because MH is so concerned about his Grandma. I am horrified by the idea of bothering her or bringing more germs, but it's what he needs to do so I will support him. (The kids and I will let her rest). I am still very grateful we had two weeks of calm and peace, before diving into the latest emergency. I think she will probably be fine. Her attitude has always been, "My arm is falling off? It's just a flesh wound." After hearing from "always completely hysterical in a medical situation" MIL we did skype GMIL and we both felt immensely better. She is clearly fine and shrugging it off. But we are being cautious because she is a 95yo with pneumonia.

I know I have shared in the past that I don't use the shopping carts at Target. Nor the baskets, most the time. If I can't hold it in my hands I don't need it. (Unless it's a very specific trip for more items or something larger). I have sometimes looked ridiculous and been asked if I need a basket, but it was worth not being tempted to spend more money.

So I felt, "Exactly!" when I saw this article yesterday:

2019 TALLY:

$550 Gift Cards (Citi, Moi)
$150 Bank Bonus
$ 70 Amazon Gift card (Amazon Prime, MH)
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$770 TOTAL *ONE-TIME REWARDS*

Other Rewards:
$ 29 Citi Price rewinds (RIP)

Ongoing rewards:

+$320 AmExRewards (6% cash back groceries/streaming services)

+$83 Target rewards (5% discount Target purchases; mostly groceries)

+$177 Visa Rewards (3% cash back fuel/restaurants)
Ended up also using for groceries in Q4 (3% cash back)

+$887 Citi 2% card (2% back everywhere - health insurance/medical is the big expenses that we charge, is more than our mortgage payments)

Grand Total = $2,266

I just want to add that historical figures below do also include bank bonuses. They just don't generally work very well for us so I do not utilize as much. (We did -0- bank bonuses in 2017/2018).

Year 2011 = $4,164
Year 2012 = $2,782
Year 2013 = $2,623
Year 2014 = $3,128
Year 2015 = $2,585
Year 2016 = $1,906
Year 2017 = $3,578
Year 2018 = $2,096
Year 2019 = $2,266

Total 9 Years = $25,128
***Mostly Tax-Free Income***

MM(16) also earned a $150 sign up bonus, a $10 credit for switching to paperless statements, and 5% back on gas for one quarter.

Note: I have been tracking since 2011 because that's when the rewards got CRAZY. We have always utilized cash back on credit cards. It's just been extra rewarding during the past decade.

***CAVEAT - I absolutely do not recommend utilizing credit card rewards in this manner, unless you are in full control of your credit card spending. We treat our credit cards like debit cards; only charging if we have the cash on hand already. We've never paid a cent of late fees or interest.***

It's time... It's past time. Turning off the allowance for MM(16).

First I wanted to back up a bit. We started giving our kids a $2/week allowance at age 5, with the intention of them starting to learn about money. From that point on, if the kids wanted to buy something, most of the time it was, "You have the money, you figure it out." It's valuable to start learning these lessons long before you start having a bigger income to manage. Waiting until they got a job and started making $15/hour (a lot of money for a teenager) would be too late, in my opinion. Could be worse, but you miss a lot of learning opportunity if you wait that long.

I've posted before, but I really expected the $2/week allowance to increase over time. But my kids have been so frugal and careful with their money it never came up until DL was maybe 13 or 14 and recently asked for an allowance raise. (He hasn't spent any of it honestly, but he asked and I thought it was reasonable).

Both MH and I worked pretty steadily since age 15 and so I just always presumed we'd turn off these allowances once the kids turned 15 or 16 and got a job. The allowances have served their purpose. They are making 10 or 20 or 30 times as much with summer jobs.

In the end I had a miscommunication with MH. I could swear he was not down with turning off the allowance when MM got a job and when he turned 16? It's too small for me to care either way at this point. But... I don't even remember what conversation we had after that. But I put it on my calendar January 1 to turn off his allowance. (Lord knows I can't remember a single thing in the chaos of the last few years. No room whatsoever in my brain). I don't remember anything or why or when I even put this on my calendar. But I do remember clearing it up with MH that was not at all what he said or meant. He is now very much, "Why does he still have an allowance!?" I don't know, because I thought you wanted him to? So I am going to turn off that auto transfer today, saving us $3 per week.

I expect we discussed with MM(16) at some point but gave him a little notice. I put it in my calendar because I knew I would forget.

I suppose this makes the official cutoff age 16.5. It's worth noting if we want to be consistent with DL. (And... I put that on the calendar).

I skipped the last couple of years, but will revisit our Top 5 and Lowest 5 expenses for 2019.

{I keep track of all our spending/accounts using software, so I still have meticulous records even if I have mostly put it on ignore the past couple of years}.



2016 Commentary:
I highlighted the vacation spending because we aren't big vacation spenders and these are very one-off type expenses. Our annual budget is only $2,000 for vacation, and is more in the realm of what I foresee spending the next several years.

On the mortgage, we made an extra payment (or two?) versus last year. We should be under the $7,000 mark on mortgage interest in the future. This is one of those expenses that is snowballing downward very rapidly.

Auto expenses include repairs/maintenance, insurance, registration, fuel. (We pay cash for cars; no car payments).

{I do have details on the autos, and I also track expenses per vehicle. For 2016: $1944 fuel, $1800 insurance, $278 registration, $803 repairs/maintenance}.

Medical expenses are insane, but our insurance has covered almost seven figures in medical procedures for my husband (before age 40). So, at least I know we get our money's worth, and it's very important for us to have high quality insurance. I am sure given different circumstances we would have just gone "cheap". It's been our biggest expense for several years, so is nothing new. It's been our biggest challenge with *one income* living, but we live so far below our means that we have been able to deal with it. But I know it's so glaring that I should address.

**I have not included income taxes because is not a large expense for us.**

The interesting thing about our lowest expenses is that it tends to be our more luxury spending. I am sure I have said it a million times before, but will say it again. We don't do without. We just are careful and rein in costs, and shop around. & prioritize what is the most important. So most of our "luxury" type spending ends up towards the bottom.

I expect our total expenses to be about the same for the next couple of years. We have some home maintenance ($$$$) to tend to. Starting to talk braces for both kids. So stuff like that will probably replace our recent vacation spending. These are things we also want to take care of while our income is high and before our kids start college.

2019 Commentary:
Not much has changed but we did bump "Vacation" off of our list, as expected. Travel is not something we highly value and I don't expect it to be a priority in the near future (if ever). I can't even imagine why we'd spend $9k on vacation. 2016 was a ridiculous year of over-paying for just a couple of domestic trips to D.C. Very one-off.

Medical tops the list as always, but was bumped up with the Orthodontia expenses. (It's a medical tax deduction, so I lumped ortho with our other medical expenses).

Groceries bumped up significantly with MM(16) doing track this school year. So that bump up is mostly adding track for 6 months, though may include a couple of years of increasing appetites (in between). 2020 will be interesting with the full year of track. I had bumped up my grocery budget to $850 monthly ($10k annually) in 2020 but I wouldn't be surprised if I have to bump it up more mid-year.

I think where we are at with this is we give up and only have to feed that kid for another 18 months at home. There was some talk of revisiting Costco at some point, but we keep coming back to that it's just not convenient whatsoever. (It doesn't help that everyone we know personally who raves about Costco spends a bajillion dollars on food). We would probably be smart to ask our parents to pick up a few things here and there. We had some $9 pizza on Christmas and I wouldn't mind having a few of those around, but then again we don't have any freezer space and we just don't feel like re-inventing the wheel for 18 months. Meh.

P.S. We did offer MM(16) to reimburse him 50% (in cash) of any "employee discount" grocery savings he can earn us if he can get a job at the grocery store we frequent. It's actually walking distance from our house and a very strong job contender. Depends how many hours he can get there. If he wasn't doing track, it would probably be a done deal.

Mortgage interest is snowballing downwards, as expected.

Without any big vacation expenses, Auto takes it place back at #5. It was our first year with three cars.

Haircuts bumped up because my kids are interested in hair cuts now. MM(16) actually took himself for a haircut the other day. & I don't have to drag DL(14) kicking and screaming any more. Phew!

We mostly make it a rule not to buy any subscriptions and are pretty conscience about refusing to be nickel and dimed for anything. (Man those little things add up!) But... MH needed to sign up for a newspaper subscription (online for $20?) in order to continue to participate in the newspaper rewards program. He always gets free movie tickets and show tickets. This was $20 well spent. He won several movie and concert tickets in 2019 and he won another Kindle Fire? He easily won $500 worth of prizes last year. Sadly, they ended their rewards program (last month?) so there is no more of that. He did not renew this subscription, accordingly.

This last item didn't make the Bottom 5 list but is worth mentioning. MH signed up for a movie pass type deal with a regional theater (the one closest to our home) and pays $20/month for unlimited movies. Truly unlimited. Talk about luxury spending (what is a very high priority for him) taking up very little of our budget. That's been awesome. Just like movie pass, he is still running up reward points with every movies he sees, so this deal also comes with a lot of free movie passes so I can tag along (about as often as I would want to, which is not a lot).

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Some 2018 versus 2019 notes:

Car expenses went down by $1,200, though we added a third car. Some of it was MM(16) taking over the "third car" expenses when he turned 16 (mid-year). Most of it is switching to electric vehicle/fuel for my new/longer commute. & of course, we no longer have to pay for all that fuel to shuttle MM(16) around, so we had some cost savings there.

Grocery spending +$1,300 over last year.

Medical +$7,500 (+orthodontia) - clearly a one-off expense.

Professional Dues -$2,000. My employer (very unexpectedly) offered to pay and also reimbursed me for some 2018 expenses.

Misc. -$3,000
Not entirely sure what that is about, but we did consciously scale back on the show tickets and so on with my job change and salary reduction. Then again, I was making so much side income we had some "what the heck?" moments.

In 2018 we did replace our cell phones (ahead of expected job change and salary reduction) and bought a new washer and dryer. We did also buy a charger for the new car (an auto expense, I suppose). We did spend $2,300 on concerts and events: A few symphony shows, Iron Maiden, Weird Al, Sketchfest, Robot Wars, a musical, a book signing, and various smaller concerts and events.

In 2019 we did buy a (used) elliptical for almost $1,000 and a new TV and sound bar. But... LOL, we spent $70 on concerts and events. I suppose we took that very seriously that was the thing to go with my pay cut. I am actually surprised because I feel like we were pretty lax with all the side income I Was earning. This is also not completely fair because we spent $200 but it's offset by a $120 reimbursement from MH's friend for some concert tickets we bought (the year before).😁 We clearly had less bigger purchases and significantly cut down on the concert/event spending. It's just nothing I would have remembered, without seeing it in such glaring black and white.

I don't know that anything will change in 2020. My budget is pretty tight by the time I factored our actual grocery spending, tax increases, health insurance increases, etc. If we had some extra money I would like to go to the Symphony more, but the Symphony is expensive. It might be mostly on hold until our kids are done with college. Our art museum does some pretty amazing concerts for $10 or $20, so we will be creative and figure it out. We also do go to a lot of concerts and musicals (professional level) at the art school which is maybe why I don't *feel* much difference between the two years. & duh, we probably bought a lot of tickets in 2018 that we used in 2019.

2019 Goals

**Financial**

[X]$12,000 to IRAs 2019 (MAX)
...($12,000 @ 12/31/19)
...Not entirely sure how we will fund this. Because my salary decreased by $12,000 this year, this was the obvious thing to give. It will have to come from gifts, MH's income, my bonus, and/or shifting money from taxable investments. Funding our IRAs is always our first priority, but just will not be funded from my salary.
UPDATE: For 2019, ended up funding with second job and MH's income.

[X]$7,000 to savings
...($7,175 @ 12/31/19)
...$550/month, plus interest.
...Topping off with snowballs
UPDATE: Goal Met. Even when I subtracted out major expenses paid with cash, extra to mortgage, etc., we somehow ended up meeting our savings goal. I definitely over shot. Some "over preparing" on our part.

[X]$1,500 to investments
...($2,033 @ 12/31/19)
...Funded with snowflakes
UPDATE: Goal Met. Did better than expected, but did it with the snowflakes.

[X]9% of my full-time income to work retirement plan
...This is the minimum for the match; I'd otherwise rather fund IRAs.
Note: Maxing out IRAs is additional 15% to retirement. This is very deja vu to lower income years. The last time we saved 20%+ to retirement was during our lowest income years. This is due to substantial tax savings and employer contributions (how I am funding the entire 9%). Plus, if we max out IRAs regardless, it's a bigger percentage of a smaller income.

STRETCH GOAL:

[/]$6,000 to mortgage
...($3,370 @ 12/31/19)
...$3k per year to pay off in 20 years (from last refi); also ensures that we pay more principal than interest
...In years past I had funded with OT, but am no longer working at a job with OT. This is a placeholder because we skipped 2018. If we have a windfall of any sort, I'd like to pay down $3,000 for 2018 and $3,000 for 2019. For now, this is our lowest financial priority (expect to fund some home improvements instead during 2019, and tend to other expensive cash flow items first).
...2020 & Forward, our much bigger priorities will be college and down payment for next home ($$$$$). I don't expect to have any future mortgage goals (but to pay off when we sell in a few years).
UPDATE: 1/2 Goal Met. I ended up putting +$3k (2018 placeholder) as a stretch goal for 2020, and will be adding $100/month mortgage in lieu 15-year/lower interest refi. If MM(16) gets accepted to and chooses private college (likely), we will probably really and truly abandon future mortgage goals. For now, have more cash/income than we expected.

Some commentary from my original 2019 Goal Post:
Money that was going to taxable investments before, is now going to 401k. From a net worth standpoint, it's all well and good, but I am not thrilled because I feel like I need a bajillion dollars cash (teen drivers x2, braces x2, home repairs, etc., all in the very near future). "College savings" is accordingly on the back burner again, but I am okay with earmarking ROTH money (for college) during years we contribute 20%+ to retirement. Otherwise, it wouldn't make any sense to be so retirement heavy, at the expense of the rest of our finances, but everything is so "hell if I know," I'd rather err with piling up ROTHs.

I do also expect some side income in 2019, but will just be hoarding up cash to fund IRAs and to pay for big planned expenses.

All of the above is still true. It feels good to knock out braces ($$$$$) and is mostly why I worked second job 1/2 of the year. We don't borrow for things, we've always been creative and/or just make more money as needed.

College is still complete limbo, "Heck if I know." Somewhere between -$0- and six figures. Should be more clear in another 12 months. I could see just doing the 9% to retirement (work retirement plans with matches) if MM(16) ends up at private school. But it's too likely he will end up at our "cost pennies" alma mater, so I don't see the point of changing anything at this point. Could be drastic changes next year when we get out of limbo land.

+$105,000!

Wow, what a year! My money worked harder than I did this year, for sure.

{We've many times had six figure real estate increases in a single year, but have never had these kind of stock market gains}.

It was a good year to have this win. I had taken a pay cut and we had some significant expenses. Which makes it all the more incredible how the year turned out.

I was just excited and wanted to make sure to crunch numbers first thing to see where we landed.

We paid down the mortgage by $9,000 and the rest was stock market contributions and gains. (If you are wondering why I'd rather invest than pay down my mortgage more rapidly, this is probably a good illustration. Maybe especially considering that we have also had many $100k+ gains with a mortgaged home).

Today we could pay off our mortgage and still have $340,000 cash/investments. For the first time, we could do this with only cashing out about 1/2 our ROTH IRA and all of our taxable investments. It's the first time we could leave everything else intact (emergency fund, kids' college, rest of retirement, etc.). I am not tempted yet, but honestly, if I had an additional $50k in investments, we could pay off our mortgage AND leave six figures in our ROTH IRA. At that point, I would probably be tempted. Especially with just cashing out at a peak. Taking the money and running. I've always said there is a tipping point. I just have never been so close to the tipping point. If my stocks go up $100k next year, I wouldn't rule it out. (We seriously considered doing this with our house in 2005, but we just missed the boat. We had literally decided to move and cash out our house, doing a second "moving to a significantly lower cost region" move, but the market started to tank before we executed the move. We clearly weren't the only ones who had this idea). I am afraid we are probably in "will just miss the boat territory" this time too. Will see...

P.S. I'd honestly rather the market go down and be able to buy stocks cheaper. While it's fun to see big numbers on the balance sheet, I don't think of this huge stock market run up during my prime working years as being terribly useful to my long-term wealth.

We need our net worth to continue to increase (on average) $50k per year to reach our Financial Independence goal at age 50.

Estimate Net Worth Change for 2020:
Mortgage: Paydown $7,000
Investments: Contribute $4,000
Retirement: Contribute $21,000
Investment Returns: $18,000 (would need 4% gain)
TOTAL INCREASE: $50,000

Our net worth changes never look anything like our estimate (it's rare any asset class actually has an average year). But, I go through this exercise just to make sure my goal is realistic and doable.

P.S. We will likely hit the $1 mil mark with our assets this year. Just $30k to go... That will be a very exciting milestone.

P.S.S. Good Riddance to 2019! I wish I was more optimistic about 2020, but it's shaping up to be very difficult. I can only hope for some space whatsoever to breathe and process anything that is happening.

Received $60 bank interest for the month of December.

Snowflakes to Investments:
--Redeemed $0 credit card rewards (cash back) from our grocery card (maxed out 2019 grocery rewards).
--Redeemed $83 cash back on Citi card.
--Redeemed $33 cash back on dining/gas card; used for grocery rewards this month

Other snowflakes to Investments:
+ $231 Re-Invest Dividends
+ $ 8 Savings from Target Red Card (grocery purchases)

TOTAL: $355 snowflakes to investments

401k Contributions/Match:
+$1,400

Snowball to Savings:
+$1,100 MH Income
+$ 500 Bonus
-$ 250 Charity

Savings (From my paycheck):
+$ 550 to cash (mid-term savings)

Short-Term Savings (for non-monthly expenses within the year):
+$1,400 to cash
-$ 482 Flood Insurance
-$ 195 AAA
-$ 160 Vacation Expense
-$ 125 Yearbooks (2)
-$ 100 School Concert

TOTAL: $4,053 Deposited to Cash and Investments

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Vacation expense was $100 fuel and $60 eating out, MH's LA trip. We planned to spend a wee bit more on that trip, but I ended up sick at home instead. We canceled the one hotel night we were going to pay for, he used his parents' timeshare for two nights.

$100 school concert ~ $60 to buy tickets for us and all the grandparents. We also ended up spending $40 to feed everyone the night of the concert. This is the art school we pay -0- to, so I am always happy to contribute monies. I save a bajillion dollars with all the free/public art classes.

I guess MM(16) was sick that night (before he gave me his awful flu). Always someone can't make it last minute and I give away the $9 tickets. It always makes someone so happy. So when we got there I went up to the box office and told the lady buying tickets I had an extra student ticket if she wanted it. She didn't even look at me or say Thank You. I told MH, "Wow, that was really unsatisfying." Usually the response is more like, "Really????!!! Thank You!!" She looked so stressed out buying those tickets, I'd like to think I made her life a little easier.

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So... I am completely dumbfounded by this update. This was our level of savings when I was working second job. But I guess that it comes down to getting my raise and getting that $800/month back. I wouldn't have thought it was going to be a particularly lucrative month, was more just our typical savings kind of month.

But... This probably sums up pretty well how I ended up with an extra $3,000 that I felt comfortable throwing at the mortgage. I decided quite unexpectedly and last minute to knock that goal out. Sidebar is updated. (Had $3k+ cash left over after setting aside $12k for IRAs; we also have a 12-month emergency fund).

401k was a little extra this month because I received a 3rd paycheck 12/31 (my small business employers always advance the last paycheck of the year for tax purposes). I did also receive a bonus, which bumped up my 401k contribution.

The bonus is a new thing I have never had before. I didn't blog about it because it was not too exciting. I mean, it's EXCITING. But... I didn't pay any taxes in whatsoever for my self-employment income this year, so I put most of my bonus to taxes. It was a choice that I made. (This had been my plan all along, but I had expected a summer bonus to cover it). It's nothing like it sounds. My tax rate only ended up being about 10% on all that side income. Because I ended up with $8k orthodontist expenses to offset my income. I know there is definitely a huge element of financial savvy and strategy that comes with my tax knowledge. Like knowing I can just withhold my SE taxes from my paycheck, and it's all the same in the end. (Which I felt was prudent because I had no idea where on earth my taxes would land this year, until I got confirmation of bonus this month). But... Honestly 90% of the time it is just being in the right place at the right time. I had $10k of write-offs I wouldn't have had in prior years, between the ortho and tax law changes. So I made out pretty well.

I still had $500 left over (from bonus) after that, which I threw at savings.

Edited to add: We did our "gift from in-laws to Charity" thing over the weekend. I ended up making all of our donations Sunday night, and realized I was about $250 short of what I Wanted to do. Which makes sense, because we used to allocate my old Christmas bonus ($250) every year to charity. {I guess I consider that more of a "Christmas Gift" than a "Bonus". My bonus this year was a few thousand dollars, which is the very new and different part. I have absolutely never before had an employer give me extra money "just because". To clarify why I said I hadn't received a bonus before}. I ended up subtracting $250 from bonus above and updating numbers.

I just put this as part of my comment in the forums. But I had wanted to share, so will just copy and paste.

How Christmas went this year:

1 - We did NOTHING for Christmas this year. Just dealing with a lot of personal crap and didn't have the time or inclination. We are always pretty mellow about the Holidays (buying the kids maybe one $20 gift each, something they could really use or enjoy). I would have thought doing nothing was more of an extreme/bah humbug kind of direction, but also not a big change from our usual. But... It was amazing! It forced us to be more thoughtful and creative and we had the best Holiday. (Including, my son made a sculpture for my other son. It was absolutely unexpected and hilarious). Other than that, we baked for each other and had some extra quality family time.

2 - My in-laws started a charity tradition a few years back. What we had said many times was, "We don't want anything, we'd rather help the less fortunate" and was more what we had been doing with our kids. So the first year (that MIL agreed to do this) my MIL bought a billion gifts AND gave us some money to give to charity. I've felt very many times, "She's not getting it". It's nice and I like the change, but there was lack of *getting* it. Until this year. This year there was a very noticeable shift. The gifts were very reasonable. If I was happy with it, this must have been extreme 180 for my MIL. (I got *one* material gift and a couple of gift cards. About the same for my kids). We focused far more talking about all of our charity choices ($250 per person to spend) and all the good causes we were excited about. We were able to donate $3,000 (as an extended family), and it was really neat.

Slowly but surely... (It took 12 years. I distinctly remember doing "contributions to charity in lieu of gifts" when my kids were in daycare and the only person in my circles that balked at that was my MIL. She has come a very long way).

I was actually completely dreading our Christmas celebration with the in-laws, because MIL had been on a particularly toxic/insane rampage this year. So... Having such a pleasant day with them was really unexpected. Phew!

Unfortunately, we got some really bad news over the Holiday. It looks like MH also has a parent with failing health who needs a lot of time from him. *sigh* So now we are potentially facing with both of our parents. I felt like the rug was yanked out from under us. Like, at least I could deal with all this insanity if at least MH's parents are perfectly healthy (which we thought they were). But... it does explain some things and allows us to be more proactive than reactive. We had both been getting pissy with how much his parents lean on him. There may be more to it (we know now), BUT a lot of it is my MIL doesn't comprehend that MH has a job now, that he has other commitments and is busy. (In her mind, he just eats bon bons all day??). So this was why we were getting so irritated. But it's different if you realize some of the underlying reasons they need so much help these days. Okay so, maybe something else has to give and MH needs to set aside one weekend per month to spend with his parents. Something like that. I am hoping this pushes us a little more out of "constantly putting out fires" mode.

I've been vague because I don't really feel comfortable getting into it, because have mostly not discussed with our families at all. But I think we both potentially have a parent with dementia. 😞

2019 TALLY:

$550 Gift Cards (Citi, Moi)
$150 Bank Bonus
$ 70 Amazon Gift card (Amazon Prime, MH)
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$770 TOTAL *ONE-TIME REWARDS*

Other Rewards:
$ 29 Citi Price rewinds (RIP)

Ongoing rewards (through 11/30):

+$320 AmExRewards (6% cash back groceries/streaming services)

+$70 Target rewards (5% discount Target purchases; mostly groceries)

+$144 Visa Rewards (3% cash back fuel/restaurants)

+$804 Citi 2% card (2% back everywhere - health insurance/medical is the big expenses that we charge, is more than our mortgage payments)

Grand Total = $2,137

I am just doing an update because I did another reward.

I am so insulated from consumerism (average middle class consumerism, it's not like we don't buy anything...). But I sometimes feel so insulated that I am exposed to it more on SA than anywhere. Every once in a while someone will mention something I haven't heard of, or something that sounds really cool.

Well, it happened. $150 happened. There as some mention in the forums of electronic gadgets. Most of them I hadn't even heard of and I marveled a bit since we clearly like our electronics. But I guess more "useful to our needs and wants" electronics, versus "what everyone else has" electronics. My husband did buy some expensive bone conducting headphones earlier in the year but I considered that more of a disability purchase. (He only has hearing in one ear, can't reasonably wear one ear bud and hear anything going on around him). I was dumbfounded when he told me he was not able to listen to anything at his job and he felt it would make his low-skill job more bearable. I was completely horrified, like yes you have to buy this yesterday! He's been listening to books on tape and I think makes the work day much more bearable.

But... I didn't think anything beyond that until I saw a conversation on SA about the same headphones. Yeah, I don't have any headphones and I could probably use some. But I have never liked ear buds. So I had my light bulb moment and asked MH to buy me some. It looked like they were on sale significantly from what we paid, but he did choose the premium ones. I told him, knock on wood, honestly I never lose or break my things and I just wanted to get the premium ones too. (He had bought some in the past he did not like and didn't keep. So there was definitely a huge step up in quality with the higher end ones that were worth the money).

He was looking on Amazon a couple of days ago, but it would be like $80 instead of $150 if we signed up for the Amazon Prime card. IT's not a card we have ever had, so it was a no brainer. MH was kind of, "Really?! I thought you wanted to slow down on the rewards. I thought you wouldn't do these things for less than $200." Pffffft. It doesn't get any easier than signing up for a credit card to instantly get $70. I don't need to do anything. We didn't even need to put the charge on the credit card. I could probably cancel it tomorrow and be done.

It's most likely I will just cancel the card very quickly. It does come with 5% back on Amazon purchases, but we already have a 4-card system and it's becoming more of a 5-card system if we are going to use MM's credit card to max out our grocery rewards. I don't want a 6-card system. We don't shop enough at Amazon to bother.

{How I manage is I set all my cards on a monthly cycle and just pay them all off the first of every month. No tracking statements whatsoever. I also use Quicken/transaction downloads so I have all our charges/balances compiled in one place. & I pay them all out of my bank bill pay, so just one place to track and one place to make all the payments every month. Still, I don't want a 6th card}.

I am sure I could have saved more money (I later saw the Amazon store card was $100-off sign up bonus). I am sure I could have strategized or planned better. But in the "this will take a couple of minutes of my life and save me $70 right now" category, it works for me.

I will have to update our December rewards next week, but will probably end up at $2,300 for the year.

Edited to add: Amazing purchase! I thought I would just use for listening to podcasts on my phone (keeping up with Top 100 movies podcast), but I have been loving the hands-free phone calls. Makes my cell phone generally more usable (for calls). I was talking to my friend the other day while running around doing other things. I might be able to use at the gym but I have to make room for music on my phone. I don't have any other bluetooth devices so will need to use a cell phone to listen to music on new headphones. (In the past I've been more of a "cell phone for emergency" cell user, but I am slowly using more phone functionality. I've absolutely never played any music on my phone before, so I need to figure that out).

***CAVEAT - I absolutely do not recommend utilizing credit card rewards in this manner, unless you are in full control of your credit card spending. We treat our credit cards like debit cards; only charging if we have the cash on hand already. We've never paid a cent of late fees or interest.***

I did get my raise (two months ago). I received a 10% raise. I did some financial/tax planning and revised the budget. I've just been muddling through in the meantime, keeping our savings goals as our #1 priority. We've had enough side income to make do. Unfortunately, raise is all going to the budget. I increased grocery budget by about $200/month which is more realistic. +$200/month for significant tax increase next year, due to tax law changes (maybe not by dollars, but very significant increase by percentage). $150/month for a couple of years of health insurance increases. I also added +$100/month to short-term savings AKA "non-monthly bills" (a lot of small increases for various bills).

That's about it, except I added $100/month to our mortgage. Last I ran refi numbers, it actually didn't make sense to lose another 1% of interest. Is because we only plan to be in our home another 5-ish years. The savings has always been significant with 1% drop, on a 30-year mortgage. But not on a "5-year" mortgage. Anyway, we have never felt comfortable with a 15-year mortgage in current city with the economic uncertainty, and also because our health insurance is so expensive (far more than our mortgage). But we've paid down enough that a 15-year mortgage will now only add $100/month to our current mortgage payment. That, I can do. Is not a long-term commitment or an extra $400/month, which is what it was in the past. So we will just make an informal commitment to pay down our mortgage in 15 years. While well employed. I am relieved to be able to skip the red tape of another refi.

Even though I had initially lost $1,000/month (salary) with this job, it wasn't apples to apples. I lost $1,000 net salary every month but I gained +$600/month retirement benefit. Which was more what I had posted before, that I only had about $4,000 per year to make up. This raise puts me at -$600/month cash but +$700/month retirement benefit (compared to my salary at prior job). So I am up $100/month and am happy with that. I really did not expect to get up to my old compensation so quickly. My new job is significantly easier than my last job. It feels very win-win.

We will have to fund our IRAs with MH's income. That puts us way too "retirement heavy" or "retirement poor", but makes more sense than adding to taxable investments. I only feel comfortable doing this because we can access ROTHs any time. More win-win.

Since it's so relevant to this post, here is where my 2020 goals will end up. I am pretty much back to where I was in 2017 or 2018. The funding details are just re-arranged a bit (I used to fund IRAs with my salary, but I didn't have a work retirement plan).

2020 Goals

[ ]$7,000 to savings
...($0 @ 1/1/20)
...$550/month, plus interest.
...Topping off with snowballs

[ ]$1,500 to investments
...($0 @ 1/1/20)
...Funded with snowflakes

[ ]$1,200 to mortgage
...($0 @ 1/1/20)
...$100/month
...It was cheaper to just add $100/month (15-year payoff) than to refi down another 1%. We will just commit to the extra $100/month pay off while well-employed. Our plan is otherwise to just pay off when we sell in a few years.
STRETCH GOAL: $3,000 to mortgage
...I am moving 2018 mortgage goal here, to make up in 2020. Will see how I feel in 2020, but right now I feel is doable. It will also depend how college choices start to shake out end of 2020. Definitely a 12/31 kind of decision.

[/]9% of my full-time income to work retirement plan
...This is the minimum for the match; I'd otherwise rather fund IRAs.

[ ]$12,000 to IRAs 2019 (MAX)
...($0 @ 1/1/20)
...Will fund with MH's income

This puts our overall savings rate at 32%; 30%+ is generally what we aim for.

Edited to add: I changed the mortgage goal after cash (bonus/gifts) settled end of 2019. I added the stretch goal.

I am skipping Christmas this year. After another year from hell, capped off with a few weeks sick in bed. Just can't bring myself to care. We don't do much for Christmas in the first place, but I don't know that I've ever literally done nothing for Christmas before.

Our kids are content and don't want anything, so is not an issue.

MH has been so buried with everything that we didn't even put the tree up. We discussed light decorating at some point, but it hasn't been done so I think the boat has been missed.

Oh yeah, and DL(14) told me he disliked giving and receiving material gifts, so was not participating this year. He is doing some baking instead (the gift of consumable food; costs him -$0- to use our kitchen and ingredients).

In other randomness, MM(16)'s auto insurance came due. I was quoted $1,000 per year at some point and that is exactly what it ended up being for the next 12 months. MM actually hasn't had any expenses since he last paid insurance. He did a credit card reward that will cover about 5 months of gas. He's still churning through that reward. But he threw the $500 insurance on his credit card and will have to pay off next month.

For some reason, I was looking at his auto renewal and I noticed it was for 10,000 per year miles or something that is far beyond what he is driving. We had been reporting our miles and getting discounts for several years, but I guess that specific program ended in the past few months. I quickly changed his annual miles estimate (online) and was very generous in my estimate, presuming he may have a summer job and drive to more places than just school. (With track, he has mostly been driving to school because they bus them everywhere they need to be and he has no time for anything else). He's been driving about 2,500 miles and so I estimated 5,000 for the year. I didn't expect much because I figured about 99% of the cost of his insurance is "teen male driver".

So I was stunned when I received a $125 refund (for 6 months premium he just paid). I just saved him 25% with that catch. WOW!

So... I decided to just wrap the refund in a big box and to surprise him with that on Christmas Day. He will be very surprised and also very happy with that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Really, the only thing going on here is WORK. Work work work. I am digging out after missing a few weeks of work (bad flu season), and also digging out on the home front.

It doesn't matter what I do. I changed jobs. I dropped second job. I hired someone to do like 80% of my work at new job.

So I left work super late some night last week and was griping to MH (when I called him to tell him I'd be home late). I told him, "First world problems". Have experienced way too much unemployment/job uncertainty in my life to take the work for granted. So... First world problems. Well, he had the same story. After being told that Friday (12/20) would be his last day (he always has a long winter break). After that, they were starting to say he would get zero time off. UGH! & they were trying to appeal to whoever they were selling this to, so were saying it would be great he could pay his bills. 🙄 You know, this is a very part-time job so he can mostly be home with kids and fatten our retirement accounts. I don't know, but they sorted it out before he could tell him he didn't really want the work. The latest news is that he is working through this next week (which has become typical in recent years) but probably has most of January off (also typical). Phew! I am happy because *we* need a break. He is happy because he is getting paid for two Holidays next week. Kind of, "If they want to pay me 5 days to work 3 days, whatever."

My work situation should improve. I am only signed up for the one 9-5 job and will get to sit out my first tax season in 20-ish years. So it's all good. Like I said, I've done absolutely everything in my power. Just waiting for the Universe to cooperate with me.

I was doing some financial chores this morning and was looking at our total expenses for 2019.

One thing that stood out was our decreased car spending. I am long overdue for an update.

We purchased a plug-in hybrid in Fall 2019 when I changed jobs. Was a purchase we were probably going to do anyway, but the math changed substantially when I doubled my commute. I expect most of our "it's cheaper just to keep the old minivan we don't want" was due to how little we drove in the first place. I was scheming for many many years to replace. First, just doing a lateral change, and later wanting to buy an electric car. At the end it was 13-years-old and it was time to move on. But the math just never made any sense, and then suddenly it did make sense.

Which reminds me, we are comparing 8 months of gas minivan versus 12 months of hybrid car. I wasn't even thinking of that at first. Makes the numbers more astounding.

2019: $370 Electric fuel for hybrid
This pretty much covers my commute and small weekend trips. + any small errands in the evenings. Rounds out to $30/month. My commute is 200 miles per week.

The same commute would have cost $2,000 per year in minivan fuel. The savings is no small beans.

{We try to do *any* city driving in this car, because the fuel costs pennies in stop-and-go. This is why we also use this car for most night and weekend driving}.

2019: $270 Gas fuel for hybrid
This would just be Bay Area trips. Presume we did 20 trips, that would be about $13.50 per trip. Also substantial savings here. We can do part of the trip on electric, and the car gets about 45mpg on the gas engine.

2018 (8 months): $900 fuel spent on minivan

So I saved $260. Big whoop? Saved $700 when you adjust for a full year of minivan fuel.

Nope. Actually, we drove the minivan as little as possible. It was *mostly* my commute vehicle, but lord knows I drove our gas sipper whenever I could. The few months MH doesn't work, whenever I had to drive somewhere else during the day or needed to park in a small parking lot, etc.

2018 Gas sipper Fuel: $1,563
2019 Gas sipper Fuel: $ 820

Saved $743 on that car too. So we are back to *substantial* gas savings. Even though I *doubled* my commute. Did I mention that part?

Total fuel savings: $1,443, or $120 per month.

The hard part that is hard to carve out of this is MM(16)'s driving. We did pay for his fuel the first half of 2019 and added $166 fuel to our expenses for third car (plus I am sure he drove our cars a lot while he was still learning). But anyway, he was on his own the second half of 2019 and I am sure that also decreased our fuel costs somewhat.

Conclusion: Teen Driver + electric car = significantly reduced fuel costs.

Oh, and the other thing. MH only does city driving during the week, his commute and taking kids to school. So his car is only getting 25mpg or something horrific right now. UGH! I can no longer call that car the "gas sipper". It seems silly that I ever called it that. It does get 40mpg on the freeway and is why I called it that.

Which leads to the next couple of things.

REPAIRS
We had a lucky year on the car repair front. Very Very lucky. It was or first year as a 3-car family and we probably had a record year for car repairs (almost nothing).

Hybrid car is supposed to be very very low maintenance. Night and day compared to a large gas powered vehicle. It's also a much newer vehicle and will be under warranty for a while.

2019 Repairs: -$0-
BONUS: Oil change only once every 2 years; not due for another 9 months.

MM(16) is driving his car about 200 miles per month. Thought it's a 17-year-old car, low-miles driving keeps the costs down.

2019 Repairs: -$0-
BONUS: Mechanic told us to skip 6-month oil change this year because car was driven so little. (Basically, refused to change the oil when we took it in, because did not need). He may have an oil change this month.

MH car 2019 Repairs: $385
New battery, charge A/C, oil changes, replace windshield wipers, replace brake lights.

I had actually decided to just leave our "forever car repair" budget of $1,500 per year, even though we added a third car. Didn't have any room to increase that in the first place. But just let it go because I figured 2 new cars + one really old car would even out. Most years it's been a little more lopsided where we might have a 5yo car and a 15yo car. Now we have a couple of newer cars (don't expect much in repairs first 10 years) and we have a really old car. This year clearly worked out very well, but I feel like we were also just lucky. There is always something. Even on newer cars, tired need replacing, etc.

& finally, our plan to buy a second hybrid car...

Wish list: Want to buy a second Volt. We are *that* happy with the car. Somewhat of a lateral trade, with MH's vehicle. Actually, 100% lateral trade, if you factor the money we have saved (for 5 years) to eventually replace his car. Would be more short term cash outflow, but big picture/long-term wouldn't be spending more money than we would otherwise. The only thing I can come up with is we pay extra sales tax with more frequent car trading. Which would be very easily offset by fuel savings in this situation. So maybe some of why it feels so *shrugs* financially.

Last we discussed, we are considering a second Volt or an all-electric Bolt. We haven't test drove the Bolt yet, but it seems nearly identical in many respects.

For the short run, the all-electric Bolt is a no brainer. It would more than cover all of MH's city driving and save us a bajillion (more) dollars in fuel. It also has a decent enough range for our frequent trips to Bay Area. My only hesitation is that it would be such a short term purchase. MH has been looking for work (who knows where he may end up commuting to). DL(14) only needs a ride to school for 1.5 years at this point?

We last left it that we should wait one more year. It may make more sense to gift or sell MH's old car to MM(16) if he needs it for college. That is the other big question mark right now. No idea if he will need a car for college or not. (The car he has now is shared with his brother, so it stays here when he goes off to college).

It seems moot. We spent so much of our cash on this first Volt. In this case, we are looking in the $15k range (what we had spent on our last few vehicles). The Bolts seem to be losing value faster and more in our price range. The longer we wait the cheaper this car will be. I also still have hesitation about owning two identical cars. If any problems do crop up then it's problems x2. It's just so against my nature to put all our eggs in one basket so it weirds me out a bit. For these reasons, we may go all-electric. Get a slightly different vehicle, even if it is mostly the same. For MH's commute (a few miles per day, 8 months of the year) it would really cost pennies to run that car. It won't be anywhere near the $30/month I am spending on electric fuel. The all-electric is also even more low maintenance. I really do expect to significantly decrease our fuel costs for the long run.

If MM(16) does end up needing our car and we just give it to him, I suppose this also significantly increases the amount of cash we need to come up with to buy this newer vehicle. It should be a lot more clear next fall and that gives us time to save up the cash.

Just tracking my gift cards. Usually I have more credit card rewards, but not so much this time.


GIFTS:
------
$ 20 x 6 Target


MOVIES:
--------
$100 Regal
$ 25 AMC


RESTAURANTS:
------------
$50 Cracker Barrel
$50 Olive Garden
$ 25 x 2 Jamba Juice (Birthday Gift)


RETAIL:
---------
$50 Kohls (Christmas Gift)
$ 50 x 4 Target

Note: Edited over time to remove used gift cards.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We never ended up using any of the restaurant gift cards last summer, as planned. I think we are just not "eating out" people, but is probably compounded by "kids busy with their own things."

Will get through these eventually, but may not be tempted to get more restaurant gift cards any time soon.

I did pick up $300 worth of Target gift cards today, 10% off. For several reasons, I never did the full $300 before. But today I just bit the bullet. I always keep a stack of $20 gift cards to keep on hand for last-minute gifts. The rest, will use towards grocery purchases. (Still have one $20 card left over from last year, there were some others from last year that we used this month. I kept the one because it was a "happy birthday" theme).

Edited to add: Received a $25 AMC gift card. Strange gift since we have no AMCs in our region. Will add to the re-gift pile with most of the gifts I have received to-date. We decided most likely we will hold for FIL's birthday after Christmas, so I wanted to make sure I wrote it down and did not forget.

Received $60 bank interest for the month of November.

Snowflakes to Investments:
--Redeemed $0 credit card rewards (cash back) from our grocery card (maxed out 2019 grocery rewards).
--Redeemed $59 cash back on Citi card.
--Redeemed $30 cash back on dining/gas card; used for grocery rewards this month

Other snowflakes to Investments:
+$100 Birthday Cash**
+ $30 Surprise gift from credit union
+ $ 6 Savings from Target Red Card (grocery purchases)
- $95 Annual Fee on grocery card

TOTAL: $130 snowflakes to investments

401k Contributions/Match:
+$775

Snowball to Savings:
+$1,100 MH Income
+$ 215 Self-employment income

Savings (From my paycheck):
+$ 550 to cash (mid-term savings)

Short-Term Savings (for non-monthly expenses within the year):
+$1,400 to cash
-$5,750 Property Taxes
-$ 432 Disability Insurance
-$ 227 Car Registration
-$ 85 Museum Membership
-$ 50 Medical Expenses

TOTAL: -$2,314 Net
(Invested +$905, -$3,219 from cash)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**I decided to add my birthday cash to investments. Otherwise, I'd only have a $30 deposit, which is probably below the minimum that I can add to investments. There is absolutely nothing I want or need, so is probably the best use of Birthday money.

I was just going through the kids' accounts and saw that they also both received $10 from our credit union. Nice for them!

November was another month from hell. I was so sick that I missed work for 2+ weeks.

We had to cancel our LA trip. Well, MH went for a couple of days and MM(16) stayed home to take care of me. I feel pretty *shrugs* about it because we were maybe going to go twice in the first half of next year. I mean, it's a bummer and I had been really looking forward to the adults-only trip, but we may get a redo soon enough.

I've got a lot of friends and family going through some very tough stuff, so that is the stuff I need to tend to when I feel a little better. On top of everything else (which has been way too much), GMIL had a stroke on Thanksgiving. (I think she will be fine). There were other worse things that happened...

On the flip side of the coin, net worth is up $90k+ for the year. Finances just keep swimming along in the background. It will be interesting to see where things land 12/31.

2019 TALLY:

$550 Gift Cards (Citi, Moi)
$150 Bank Bonus
-----------
$700 TOTAL *ONE-TIME REWARDS*

Other Rewards:
$ 29 Citi Price rewinds (RIP)

Ongoing rewards (through 11/30):

+$320 AmExRewards (6% cash back groceries/streaming services)

+$70 Target rewards (5% discount Target purchases; mostly groceries)

+$144 Visa Rewards (3% cash back fuel/restaurants)

+$804 Citi 2% card (2% back everywhere - health insurance/medical is the big expenses that we charge, is more than our mortgage payments)

Grand Total = $2,067

I usually do a tally in November because I have my Target card year-to-date and it might disappear before I look at it again. Since it's a discount, it's harder to track than the cash back rewards.

It looks like 2019 rewards will be about the same as 2018.

***CAVEAT - I absolutely do not recommend utilizing credit card rewards in this manner, unless you are in full control of your credit card spending. We treat our credit cards like debit cards; only charging if we have the cash on hand already. We've never paid a cent of late fees or interest.***

Trying this again. Hoping for a slightly calmer month? Absolutely not holding my breath.

I spent most of September trying to make headway on the household/chore front, digging out of a very big hole. October I got caught up on my professional education. Phew! I was more motivated on the work/professional front, so am circling back to household chores. Plus, I suppose this one reason I despise housework. You just get to do it all over again.

My initial plan was to have a very light load in November/December, and is why I hit things so hard the last 2 months. Will see... "Very light" was clearly way too optimistic, but relatively it will be nice not to have 1,000 things To-Do + 1,000 things I am behind on. I am getting more caught up on the "life" front, in general.

The last big nasty chore on my list is to go to the DMV this week. Ugh! Maybe I will feel much better after that.

Yesterday we made butternut squash soup. Yum!

MH and MM(16) went to the movies to see JoJo Rabbit. They said it was great. It's $7 per ticket for first showings at the arthouse cinema. So they spent $14 there.

I mostly alternated between napping, major house chores, and crossing seemingly infinite little things off my list.

In other news, I asked for a 16% raise and got an okay, *shrugs*. 😁 I am so relieved that we are on the same page. It's not official/final or anything like that so I will hold off on a bigger post about it when I have more details. But I have never in my life (before) gone 13 months without a raise. Though my employer clearly compensates very generously... They skipped mid-year-bonuses, never gave me the mid-year raise we discussed last year, etc. I was starting to get really frustrated wondering if I was crazy or what. But I had my performance review and it was stellar. I had absolutely never discussed my prior salary before, so it was clearly now or never. I expected far more negotiation and just led with my prior salary. (Certainly not expecting that, as this is a much easier position, and I also have some other new compensation besides salary). My "head honcho" boss didn't skip a beat and said, "We will take care of you." & I know he takes care of his employees, so that was all I needed to hear. I feel like I am mostly out of limbo and relieved that we are all on the same page.

I am sure I could have pushed farther for a more immediate raise, but I am clearly much more concerned about the long-term than the short-term. They are also very generous with bonuses (something I have never even had before) so I get the sense that I probably created some first world problems for myself. If I potentially just turned 2019 from a "lower income year" into the "highest income year" (with all the side work I did this year to make up lost income). Will have some financial/tax planning to do when this sorts out. It will sort out this month.

Received $70 bank interest for the month of October.

Snowflakes:
--Redeemed $39 credit card rewards (cash back) from our gas/grocery card.
--Redeemed $133 cash back on Citi card.
--Redeemed $18 cash back on dining/gas/grocery card.

Other snowflakes:
$ 5 Savings from Target Red Card (grocery purchases)

{Note: Did not put snowflakes to investments this month,applied to large expenditure}

401k Contributions/Match:
+$750

Snowball to Savings:
+$ 900 MH Paychecks
+$ 100 MH Focus Group
+$ 265 Self-employment income

TOTAL: $1,265 snowballs to savings

Savings (From my paycheck):
+$ 550 to cash (mid-term savings)

Mid-Term Savings (cash saved for non-annual expenses/emergency):
-$ 3,700 Orthodontist**

Short-Term Savings (for non-monthly expenses within the year):
+$1,400 to cash
-$ 460 Car Insurance
-$ 260 Electricity^ (for prior year, electric car)
-$ 190 Misc.
-$ 120 Prepay school lunch

TOTAL: -$695 Net
(Invested +$750, -$1,445 from cash)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

^Electricity expenditure ~ we have balanced billing and so though we added an electric car to our household we haven't really been paying for it. Had a $260 accumulation I could have spread over next 12 months, but I just wanted to pay it off and be done. I didn't want to spend the next 12 months paying for the last 12 months of car charging.

Prediction from last month:
October should be a good money month.

Things went as predicted. We would have had +$3,000 to savings/investments if it wasn't for another orthodontist surprise. (More Below). & to be clear, I am in "significantly reduced salary" mode.

Unfortunately, November will not be any prettier. I just pulled $5,500-ish out of savings so that I can get property taxes covered for the next year. I am paying a little early and pre-paying. This goes in the "simplicity" category. Don't want to think about it for another 12 months.

**Most of the Citi card reward was due to charging some orthodontist expenses to a credit card. It was very out of nowhere, so I immediately pulled from savings and just paid it off. (This is what we had decided to do for LM, but MH just presumed we'd come to the same conclusion with kid #2. He didn't even talk to me about it! Just came home to, "I spent $4,000 today.") MM went in for a consult and he was recommended a similar treatment plan to his brother. I think it's probably where we would have ended up but I was just dumbfounded that MH didn't discuss with me. (I think this is just a side effect of us both being so run down by life at the moment). On the flip side, he was in such a hurry to pay, he whipped out the credit card. That's good because I got about $75 cash back to offset the cost. Wish I had known for DL's braces. All their fine print was that there was a fee for credit card. Just another reminder that it never hurts to ask! I swear, fine print is usually optional, from my experience. When it comes to bigger purchases.

I had been planning to spend around $12,000 on braces this year (expected scenario) and we are up to about $8,000 so far. So, it was kind of *shrugs* in the end. It probably helped that I was being very cognizant this was precisely why we had so much extra cash and everything has been pretty zen lately. We over-prepared, as we tend to do.

I just threw all the credit card rewards (this month) to offset the ortho costs.

October was some crazy month from hell, as they all are any more. So honestly, this was probably the most boring thing that happened. In fact, that was a "calm" week. I remember thinking it was sad that waiting for MH's MRI results and getting a surprise $4,000 bill is what I consider calm.

& there is more. Now, MM(16) is being referred to jaw surgery. The saving grace is I have two boys. The surgery I had at 16, they don't do until 20s for boys. Because they are still growing. DL(14) has my same jaw and was referred to surgery at age 23? That is very grey area with "cosmetic surgery for medical reasons" and not sure how that will shake out. I don't know what the heck MM(16)'s deal is but it's not the same. I believe they said age 26 for MM. But, the Ortho did happen to mention that our insurance had never turned down covering this particular surgery (if he referred). So that was a nice heads up. Regardless, both cans are getting kicked *way* down the road. It really really sucks that they both have to deal with this, but I don't have any room whatsoever in my brain (right now) for "things that may or may not happen in another 10 years."

I did an Amazon return at Kohls the other day. I had never done that before. They gave me a 25%-off coupon for Kohls, for one transaction in-store. I was going to look around anyway so I used it.

I don't know any of the details, if you can only return certain things to Kohls or what. But it sure makes it easier to shop on Amazon.

Today I paid a handful of annual bills. When I went to pay to renew the registration on MH's car, they were trying to charge a $5 fee for using credit card. UGH. Apparently this was a change that only went into effect during the last week or so. Bummer, that I didn't pay sooner and squeak that one through. We've been spoiled. I don't remember them charging any credit card fees during the past decade or so. I haven't decided how I will pay that bill. I don't know if some of the other government agencies have followed suit and if I will find more surprises.

I honestly don't know how I am going to pay this bill now. I declined paying by echeck, but I know logically (and from personal experience) that mailing a check is far less secure. *sigh* I set it aside to flip a coin later.

MH and I are planning a somewhat impromptu getaway. We are going to LA for 2 nights (just before Thanksgiving) and then we want to stop by Hearst Castle on the way back. I suppose we can make this somewhat a "Top 100 Movie" field trip as we have been talking about it more after watching Citizen Kane. The original plan was one night in LA, but we are staying two nights for free (minimum stay with MIL's timeshare). The third night we will stay in Pismo Beach, and then we can see Hearst Castle on the way back. The extra night makes it a more slow/relaxing trip. The cost will mostly be gas and food (and one hotel night). I will probably just earmark one of MH's paychecks next month since we already maxed out our vacation budget for the year.

We will probably do a somewhat repeat trip for Spring Break, since we want to check out the one college in LA. But that trip will be with kids.

Received $73 bank interest for the month of September.

Snowflakes to Investments:
--Redeemed $53 credit card rewards (cash back) from our gas/grocery card.
--Redeemed $56 cash back on Citi card.
--Redeemed $8 cash back on dining/gas card.

Other snowflakes to investments:
$ 3 Savings from Target Red Card (grocery purchases)
$ 20 Citi Price Rewind
$150 Dividend

TOTAL: $290 snowflakes to investments

401k Contributions/Match:
+$700

Savings (From my paycheck):
+$ 550 to cash (mid-term savings)

Short-Term Savings (for non-monthly expenses within the year):
+$1,400 to cash
-$ 210 Car Maintenance (new battery/oil change)
-$ 160 Misc. Purchase MH (disability related)
-$ 70 Misc. Purchase MH

TOTAL: $2,573 deposited to cash and investments

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I don't think that things could be any more financially mellow. I am experiencing the reward of working my butt off earlier in the year. Phew!

October should be a good money month. MH received a 12%+ raise (minimum wage increase) and was asked to work more hours. It's becoming more obvious that we should just use his income to fund our IRAs. But 2019 is well covered so we will probably start that in 2020. I also have about $500 in side work to bill, so we will have a few snowballs to add to savings.

Anyway, I can tell you that money has been entirely in the background through all of this, but it's just even moreso right now. We had a lot of big expenses earlier in the year, but it's just a little slice of quiet and calm right now.

Trying to jot down the grocery rewards plan because I completely lost that post.

Our American Express card caps grocery rewards at the $6,000 per year spending level. It looks like they are calculating this from January 1 of every new year.

In the end, we hit $5,950 already for this year. We are switching to our credit union card (3% cash back on groceries) for the rest of the calendar year.

I do buy $5 here and there, and actually spent about $30 today at the grocery store. So I will keep the American Express in my wallet and will see if the cutoff happens where I think it will. If I am off by some $5 purchase it's not as a huge of a deal as losing rewards on a $150 purchase.

Plan for 2019:

**Switch to credit union card (3% cash back groceries) for rest of year.

Will just pull the American Express cards out of our wallets.

Plan for 2020:

**Use Chase Freedom for 5% grocery quarter

It looks like the Chase Freedom card has 5% back one quarter per year. I was going to do this anyway, but it just works out that apparently we need the reward for exactly one quarter.

I had gotten the Chase card intending it to be a card just for MM(16). But it is what it is. I have the card and might as well use the grocery benefit.

Note re: Teen Credit Card

When looking up some other grocery rewards or strategies I noticed that there are a lot of new cards that offer 3%? cash back for the first year. The catch is that these cards don't offer a sign up bonus. I wanted to remember this because it might be a good strategy to apply for one of these cards for MM around his next birthday. Then he can just use it for one year and he should be able to more easily get his own credit card when he turns 18. (I am personally not going to sign up for a higher reward if it expires after just one year, but just makes more sense for someone who was going to change cards in one year anyway).

Note re: American Express

While typing all this out, I remembered that I got rejected for an American Express card that I tried to apply for, re: grocery rewards. American Express changed their terms to some very loose "can deny rewards at any time for any reason" language. I will be cautious doing any new rewards cards with them, but I guess it's somewhat moot if they are just going to reject me.

I took ceejay's advice and grabbed the posts from this year that I wanted to keep. (Thanks Ceejay!)

{Sorry for so many posts at once.}

I think the monthly savings posts are a good snapshot. & there was *so much* going on with MM(16) this year, with driving, first credit card, college, etc. I know I lost a couple, but I was able to find the first few that I thought of. Phew!

I can't find the grocery rewards card thing that I just posted with some notes to self. But I may look again this weekend (or can just jot down some notes).

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In other news, there was another very serious accident in the family last week. & more (accidents) in our circles this week. *sigh*

As to this website, it's just kind of *shrugs*, what isn't a disaster at this point...

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Minutiae:

MH won tickets to see "Dial M for Murder" at the movie theater last night. It was really fun. I don't know when we'd ever pay full price for a movie, but in this case I noticed it would have been $21. So it was nice to *win* $21. We are going another night this month (okay, so we were going to pay full price, this will help with the sticker shock I would have experienced). They are playing a bunch of Hitchcock films at a more artsy theater (MH doesn't have a membership and we don't have any gift cards). But we were going to go back later this month to watch one of the Top 100 movies.

I find it hard to believe, but we made it through the first 50 movies. I was pretty non-committal, even before everything went totally insane. So now that we made it through the first 50, I am more confident that we will actually make it through the rest. Many weeks we have watched 0 movies, sometimes we have watched 2-3 movies. The podcast we are following is going at a "one movie per week" pace. It took us 18 months to get through the first 50.

EDITED TO ADD: NO JOKE - ANOTHER ACCIDENT TODAY. UGH!

I was going to say something like, "Things have been going along pretty well," but then that seems silly because they are not well at all. I think I've just reached a point of relativism. Sadly, facing some of life's biggest challenges is a point of peace and calmness for me, right now. Because that's just how life has been. Everything else has settled down a wee bit and I have any mental space whatsoever to deal with anything.

So... everything else has settled down significantly and I have been able to catch my breath. The first couple of weeks of this new state of things, I did not do much at all. & then Labor Day was a huge blessing and I was able to get caught up on some house chores. Last weekend, Saturday was dealing with very heavy family stuff. Sunday was collapsing due to mental and emotional exhaustion. But I still had Monday, and Monday ended up being quite productive. I have chores that haven't been done for YEARS at this point. So I started to tackle some of those.

I guess this gave me some good momentum. I am hitting the house chores hard this weekend. I think there is largely a feeling of, "it's now or never".

I think 16yo getting driver's license is a huge reason for this shift and a little calmness in my life. If I had to drive him everywhere he needs to be, last weekend would have been insane. MH and I actually left the kids two weekends - two weekend in a row? - to go take care of our parents. This is just something we couldn't do before, not with 16yo sports schedule. & we wouldn't have left our kids to go out of town. In this situation, maybe, but it's easier to do with a self-sufficient driver and both kids being high school age.

I am mostly of the, "I should be working and digging out, I should NOT be blogging" mode. Except it's a weekend morning, everyone is asleep, and this is usually my quiet/brain dump time. But I could probably work on some minutiae posting, going forward. I know I just also feel buried on the blog front, as with everything else. I completely give up and I realize this blog is probably going to just be a black hole void for most of 2018/2019. I really wish I could share more of what has happened, but there's just not enough hours in the day. I've not had time to process most of it, much less blog about it (which does help me process). It is what it is. A side effect of that is having no idea where to begin, as I try to jump back in.

I am already being thrown head first into the next chapter of my life. I feel like I've barely started this chapter. But the next chapter is taking on more of the parental role with my parents. Both my parents are not doing well. I think it's a little bit, "The calm before the storm." The storm has already started and has been pretty nasty at times. But I guess the best analogy I have is that I am in storm prep mode and just trying to get my life in order and take a few deep breaths so I can deal with this whatsoever.

It's been a shift in our relationship, for a while now. I remember very distinctly feeling that I worried more about my mother (the way a parent worries about a child) more than I worry about my own kids any more. This was about a year ago, in regards to my mom's physical health. I couldn't remember the exact moment, because that was just one drop in the ocean of insanity last year. But I did see in my blog that I mentioned worrying about her after she had a fall, and then my dad jetted off somewhere. That was probably it. & it seems very small right now, compared to current medical issues both my parents are having. So I am being tossed into that caregiver role in a way I hadn't really anticipated, certainly not *right now*, particularly with married/living parents.

I don't really have any answers or clarity, but will try to blog when I do. Unless I am taking care of my parents 100 miles away. You might understand why this might just fall in the black hole void.

2019 TALLY:

$550 Gift Cards (Citi, Moi)
$150 Bank Bonus
-----------
$700 TOTAL *ONE-TIME REWARDS*

Other Rewards:
$ 29 Citi Price rewinds (RIP)

**In addition, various monthly rewards that I will tally at 12/31.

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I posted earlier that I was reminded to do some price rewinds, when price matching a wedding gift. Citi had a "Price Rewind" where you could just enter a purchase and they would check 60 days for lower prices. It was *awesome*. Unfortunately, today is the last day they are offering this perk.

We had a few big purchases during the last few months. I always put bigger purchases in because you never know when a price will drop, and it's the biggest bang for your buck.

In the end, we didn't get any money back on the big purchases (no surprise) but I found a smaller purchase that had been done (in a time of chaos) and that I knew was ridiculous. So I will get $20 back. In addition, we had received $9 back when we bought our washer/dryer earlier this year, so I need to add that to my year-to-date tally. Total $29 in price rewinds for the year. There won't be any more because this reward is dead.

MM(16) also should be getting a $150 bonus for the credit card I signed him up for. He has not gotten the reward yet because he spent -$0- during the last billing cycle. But he has since gotten gas and hit the spending level for the bonus. I presume that he will probably have his gas covered for the next 4 or 5 months. I am not adding this reward to my tally because he is using it for his own spending/bills.

I don't foresee doing any other one-time bonuses this year. But... you never know when an irresistible deal might pop up.

***CAVEAT - I absolutely do not recommend utilizing credit card rewards in this manner, unless you are in full control of your credit card spending. We treat our credit cards like debit cards; only charging if we have the cash on hand already. We've never paid a cent of late fees or interest.***

Received $75 bank interest for the month of July.

Snowflakes to Mortgage:
--Redeemed $47 credit card rewards (cash back) from our gas/grocery card.
--Redeemed $66 cash back on Citi card.
--Redeemed $15 cash back on dining/gas card.

Other snowflakes to Mortgage:
$ 3 Savings from Target Red Card (grocery purchases)
$39 rounded up mortgage payment

TOTAL: $170 snowflakes to mortgage

401k Contributions/Match:
+$600

Snowball to Savings:
-0- {No side income this month}

Savings (From my paycheck):
+$ 550 to cash (mid-term savings)

Mid-Term Savings (cash saved for non-annual expenses/emergency):
-0-

Short-Term Savings (for non-monthly expenses within the year):
+$1,400 to cash
-$ 280 Car Stereo for MM(16)
-$ 265 Car Insurance for MM(16)
-$ 220 Vacation Expense (brought friend to camp)
-$ 130 Amazon Prime
-$ 120 Dentist

TOTAL: $1,780 deposited to cash and investments

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This is more of a June sum up (on the spending side), since we mostly charge everything and pay off the following month.

From last month:
June went pretty well. It was a very low spend month. Without all the stress and extra income, we just fell back on our old habits (which is living on a shoestring). It's an easy default for us.

It was the first month of my new salary reality ($1,000 less per month), without any side income or additional income. June went very well and we were still able to hit aggressive savings goals. I wish I could say July went so well, but I sat down and went through the books for July today (I always pay everything the first of the month) and July was pretty ugly. It was a "death by a thousand cuts" month, though I think we did pretty well considering. Just not sure if I will have anything to add to (cash) savings next month. It will be a bit of a breakeven month. I expect August (spending) to be more like June. Maybe more low key since the kids will be back at school for the entire month. We are also done with vacations, birthdays, etc.

Our dining out rewards were also clearly insane. I had about $200 in spending (kids' birthdays) that were reimbursed by other people. Plus a lot of vacation eating out, etc. Our grocery bill was actually quite reasonable. (Probably not reasonable enough, considering MM was mostly gone for 8 days. But was much better than other summer months. Phew!)

401k contributions dropped a bit since it was just my income/contributions this month.

Short-term spending was very kid-centric. We paid final expenses on car (before handing it over to MM on his birthday). As a birthday present, we got him a new car stereo with bluetooth. We also paid for DL to invite a friend along to camp. (Which is no big deal because most years MIL insists on paying for us. Just paying it forward).

I did decide to throw all my snowflakes to the mortgage this month. I expect this may likely be the "last hoorah" with our mortgage. I had been paying down an extra $3k per month (OT money) to keep payoff within 30 years of original mortgage. (We've refied several times as interest rates drop, but never felt comfortable with a shorter mortgage term with the volatile economy in our lower-cost locale). I am no longer getting paid OT and so don't have that extra money to throw at the mortgage. MH's income will probably fund IRAs this year (bigger priority). I put a placeholder on my sidebar, but as more time passes and there's no windfall to cover it, it seems less likely I will pay any extra on our mortgage again. So, why the extra payment today? Completely psychological. It's a year or two later than I expected, but we finally dropped below the $150k mark. I had to throw the extra $170 this month to get there. It feels good. Having a $14X,XXX mortgage, feels extraordinary for this California girl.

We've absolutely never hit our mortgage hard. Never more than $20 here or there, or the "extra $3k per year after I cut the monthly payments down by $7,500 per year" kind of thing. Still paying far less than when we started (at 8%). So throwing the extra $3k per year was throwing it a bone, and making sure we don't have a mortgage for more than 30 years But it all seems pretty moot at this point. We are only planning to stay in our home 5-ish more years. We will never pay off before we sell. & we plan to downsize into a home we can pay cash for. Our bigger goal right now is to save up a down payment for our next home. It would be our preference to buy our next home before we sell this one. It just keeps things more flexible and will allow us to jump when we find the right home.

This is also compounded by this whole "kid starting college in 2 years" thing. There will also be cash hoarding in prep for that. I don't know how much I can succeed on either of these fronts (down payment, college costs) with my salary, but MH is looking for full-time work to that end. If he starts bringing home $2k-$3k every single month, we are just going to start hoarding cash. We will never live up to a second income. We will use it to buy a house (again) or pay for a temporary expense like college.

Anyway, I feel much better about this after having reached this psychological milestone. It's easier to just let it go. Will be happy to have an under $150k mortgage for a few years, and then will be done with the only debt we have ever had.

Edited to add:
I suppose I officially reached cash savings goal for 2019. It's not that exciting, because it depends on what comes up the rest of the year (that might drain cash) and I still need to come up with IRA money. I mean, I have $12k cash for our 2019 IRAs, but that was all saved from second income. I need to start meaningfully saving for 2020 and forward. Trying to get ahead of the curve as much as possible, until we get our income back to where it was.

Received $60 bank interest for the month of May.

Snowflakes to Investments:
--Redeemed $36 credit card rewards (cash back) from our gas/grocery card.
--Redeemed $88 cash back on Citi card.
--Redeemed $10 cash back on dining/gas card.

Other snowflakes to investments:
$ 10 Savings from Target Red Card (grocery purchases)

TOTAL: $144 snowflakes to investments

401k Contributions/Match:
+$700

Snowball to Savings:
+$1,000 MH Paychecks
+$3,200 April/May self-employment income

TOTAL: $4,200 snowballs to savings

Savings (From my paycheck):
+$ 550 to cash (mid-term savings)

Mid-Term Savings (cash saved for non-annual expenses/emergency):
-$ 4,000 Orthodontist (*fingers crossed, this is it?)
-$ 260 Summer college tour for MM (school trip)

Short-Term Savings (for non-monthly expenses within the year):
+$1,400 to cash
-$1,000 Beach Vacation
-$ 555 Dentist/Medical
-$ 70 Misc.

TOTAL: $1,169 deposited to cash and investments

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We paid cash for school trip this summer, 4 days/3 nights touring several colleges. $260 is an incredible deal. (The school is also covering all the costs of AP, ACT, SAT tests, etc., which I mentioned recently. I am feeling very spoiled on this front right now).

That reminds me too, MM can also take community college classes for free the next two years (junior/senior year of high school).

*As to Ortho costs, that's still another post for another day. It's almost comical how many canceled ortho appointments we had before we had this quote. Yeesh! We had one ortho decide to retire after booking a consult appointment. I think we majorly dodged a bullet! The good news is that though DL(13) completely inherited my mess, he was only recommended 18 months of ortho, versus the 5+ years or whatever hell I was put through. I never in a million years expected him to end up on the lower end of time/cost. MM(15) was told his situation is just cosmetic but no other reasons to have braces; he is not interested. I was planning for the worst case, which I thought was very likely. (To be fair, we already invested $3k-ish in preventative ortho work for MM, when he was very young. It seems to have paid off).

It's not quite so simple. No cause to overly celebrate yet. MM(15) is being monitored for a new problem and may need (relatively minor?) surgery.

We were told up front that DL(13) need major jaw surgery, which I had already assumed. I was not surprised and is one reason why we chose this ortho. He was very up front about it. I had the same surgery at 16. We didn't discuss the reasons for waiting but I think it's because boys stop growing several years later than girls. We are looking at age 20 for him, or 7 years down the road. They are going to do the braces in an attempt to prevent surgery. I am not holding my breath, but appreciate the effort. It's either this or "wear braces forever" so it's not a purely cosmetic surgery, but I doubt it will be covered by insurance. Overall, I could see that one coming from a mile away and don't feel much financial stress about it. But kicking the can down the road for 7 years sounds nice, of course. So that's a quick sum up of everything ortho. We decided to just pay cash (for braces) due to the short treatment, the smaller dollar amount (much smaller than we were expecting for two kids), and probably mostly because of the significant tax break we get for paying cash this year, in addition to cash discount. I am relieved, because it was my very strong preference to pay cash up front.

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June 1 is it. I've managed to kick the can down the road for 8 months, but it's time to accept my lower salary. Unfortunately, the timing hits with MH's summer off work.

June savings update will be similarly nasty, but without all the extra income. I have a $5,000 credit card bill (May charges) that I paid off the first of June. There was probably about $1,000 that ended up being reimbursed by employer (phew) and most the rest was vacation expenses. Plus some medical bills, school lunches for several months, and DMV/insurance on the kids' car.

I did not save all of our side income this month. Well, I suppose I did in a sense. But mostly I was doing a major reset on all things financial. No more, "I have an extra $2,000 coming in this month, and I am completely exhausted, so who cares about $50 here and there."

Where we are at:

Still have 12 months of expenses liquid. Which is very easy peasy with three jobs, but will be more of a challenge with just the one.

I have about $10,000 set aside for 2019 IRAs. Just depends what other big expenses come up this year. Not adding to savings in any long-term meaningful away. Is more "keep afloat level" at this point. I am speaking to just my salary. I realize that I probably have to shift back to letting MH fund IRAs. Which is probably okay with combo of pay cut and work retirement plan (I am able to contribute about 10%, even with reduced salary). Funding IRAs is a very stubborn "live far below our means" goal, and I think is still pretty doable. In the short run, I probably have 2019/2020 covered. In the long run, I am due bonuses/raises (soon) and MH will be looking for more work.

I left enough side income in the checkbook to zero out our checking balance (no projected negative). Mortgage is technically pre-paid by two months. When things are not tight at all, I pay before the end of the month. In addition, am paid ahead one full month. (Other than that, I one million times more rather pay down principal, but I like the buffer of being one month ahead). I am going into June 1 with all bills paid far ahead (still have built-in 6 week emergency fund in that regard). Mortgage paid two months ahead. Credit card balances all zero (as they always are the first of every month). It was mostly knocking the mortgage back to "before the end of the month" to get us started this summer with as much buffer as possible. It would be my preference not to use any of this buffer this summer, but we will have drastically reduced income from what we have gotten used to the past few years. & I have absolutely no plans whatsoever to reduce our savings goals. Will see how it goes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am so late getting to this post. So... How is June going so far?

Dining out is at $20 for the month, with the month 1/3 over. I suppose we have done well with the reset. Gas should go down significantly without work/school (MH kids). I think we may be able to rein in adult grocery spending a bit (without all the stress spending). The big splurge so far this month was $4 at Home Depot to get a couple of house keys made for the kids. MM(15) needed a key, and I just made a copy for when DL needs a key eventually. June should be pretty easy as we will be out of town a few days with all expenses covered.

Life is good. I've been "busy", but the vast majority of it has been family time and self care.

Received $72 bank interest for the month of April.

Snowflakes to Investments:
--Redeemed $42 credit card rewards (cash back) from our gas/grocery card.
--Redeemed $33 cash back on Citi card.
--Redeemed $12 cash back on dining/gas card.

Other snowflakes to investments:
$ 12 Savings from Target Red Card (grocery purchases)
$ 1 Rounded Up

TOTAL: $100 snowflakes to investments

401k Contributions/Match:
+$700

Snowball to Savings:
+$ 800 MH Paychecks
+$2,000 March self-employment income (received April)

TOTAL: $2,800 snowballs to savings

Savings (From my paycheck):
+$ 550 to cash (mid-term savings)

Mid-Term Savings (cash saved for non-annual expenses/emergency):
-$ 2,365 Medical Expenses
-$11,000 Fund IRAs 2018

Short-Term Savings (for non-monthly expenses within the year):
+$1,400 to cash
-$ 720 Auto Insurance
-$ 500 Life Insurance
-$ 300 Dentist
-$ 294 DMV (Auto Registration)

TOTAL: $1,443 deposited to cash and investments

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Last month's commentary:

Still just hoarding cash. Second job is winding down (I hope). I have $3k medical bills coming up, want to pay cash for braces this year (x2), have to cover all my professional expenses going forward, etc., etc. Just hoarding cash for all that, and preparing for a big income drop this summer.

Second job is definitely winding down. I am hoping to deposit another $3,000-ish in the next couple of months. But I am only working two more weeks for old/forever employer. I am cramming on deadlines this weekend and then it's just running up as much hours as I can to pay for braces. The work is there, since their workload is far beyond their capacity at this point. It just depends on my motivation. Which has mostly been wavering, but I have a dollar figure for braces. I am paying cash up front this week. So this is my renewed motivation. Is another post for another day, but it feels good to have more clarity on that situation and to cross a large financial goal off my list.

Last net worth update:
Net worth is up about $40,000 for the year. Or about 2/3 of our annual goal. Most of that is stock market recovery from end of last year.

Net worth is up $60,000 for the year, which is my goal. I am feeling pretty good about dropping second income at this point.

The reduced salary at my new job has little to do with our forward financial progress and is more shifting things around. I've traded $11,500 cash (used to fund IRAs) for $7,500 in retirement benefits. I only need to come up with $4,000 net to be whole. So while I am bracing for significantly less cash in June, I don't expect any change to big picture goals.

Where we have been at with the college thing is that my oldest son has all the tech genes that completely skipped us. So, not only is he interested in the shortest and most practical route from Point A to Point B (typical engineer), but he also lives exactly where he needs to be to go to college. Not exactly where we live, but it's all pretty much in our backyard.

So while I am open to just about anything (within reason), MM(16) has a gazillion A+ colleges to choose from that cost pennies.

So that's mostly where I am at with things (and where I have always been).

On the flip side... MM(16) has always been an extreme outlier. When he was younger, I thought it might mean he was cut out for Ivy League. I always felt very *shrugs* about this because no one in our family (parents/us/siblings) had ever spent any significant dollars on college. & our parents have done *very well* financially over the long term. So, if one out of every 10 of us is an outlier, we have the cash to help them. For us, MH could take on a full-time job to pay cash for college. & in addition to that, our parents would be willing to help. & there's scholarships. MM has nothing but options.

MM(16) went on a tour of several colleges, a couple of weeks ago. We were curiously waiting to see how that shook out. Before that time, he had only toured our alma mater (which has been his #1 choice).

There was one obscure private college that I was glad they were going to hit on the tour. I had a friend (very similar personality) who went there, and so was just curious. I then read it is the "most expensive college in the U.S." So, of course, MM came back with this school as top contender. *sigh*

Honestly and truly, I feel pretty zen about it. If it's meant to be, we have the means to make it work. I think this sums it up pretty well. MH was worried maybe everyone was getting a little too emotional about it. I said last night, "I have the feeling MM will end up at this school, he can get it in, and it will work out. But it's not like we are going to lose any sleep over it if he doesn't get accepted." I think we all feel pretty *shrugs* about it. I just have a very good feeling about it. But you know, *boohoo* if we get to save a billion dollars and he can go to school at any of the top engineering schools in the Bay Area? Pretty much, he can't go wrong. Nothing feels very much at stake here. In fact, I don't even know if MM will choose this private school over more affordable options, if he does get accepted. He's just too logical and practical. We've already discussed that the location isn't particularly ideal. Sure, everyone there gets Bay Area internships. How useful is that when you go to school 6 hours away?

So, that is where we are at with things. It's clear as mud. Flip a coin. Our alma mater is absolutely impossible to beat as far as cost/benefit. So, does he go to school at a school that cost pennies or does he choose one of the most expensive schools? Talk about black and white! Will see...

It's been kind of funny because my husband has accused me often of being close-minded when we talk about college. ??? I always tell him I am open to anything, but come on, there's a 90%+ chance MM just goes to our alma mater. Why would we consider anything else? I guess I know my kid, his talents are the same as many in our family, and I am familiar with most the relevant schools. Even so, I am surprised how much I called it. He's interested in the all of the colleges I would have expected him to be. Some of the other colleges I didn't know much about and he wasn't interested in. So pretty much nothing new came out of this trip, except him being particularly enamored with the one school. It doesn't surprise me at all, but I also wouldn't have been surprised if he decided that was a racket and impractical.

MH has never heard of this school before, and feels kind of like the train left the station without him. We left him in the dust. I finally said, "Do you believe me now? I've always said I am open to absolutely anything." Yeesh! He believes me now. & I admit if I had never heard of the school, I'd probably not be too thrilled with this turn of events. IT's funny how the tables have turned. But for such a small school, they sure have a lot of tours. So we are loosely planning to go tour the college in the spring. We need to get MH up to speed, and lord knows I know very little about the school. We need to see it for ourselves, and ask a lot of questions.

This leads me to revelation #2. So, I am looking into other school tours. We obviously have to hit Berkeley and Stanford. Close to home, easy to tour whenever. Anyway, I am truly open to anything. I am always thrown off when "being open to living at home" or "being open to community college" is taken as the polar opposite. I've gotten so many lectures about this stuff when I've actually never seriously considered that MM would live at home for college anyway. ??? I think that is because of his tech leanings and us being generally underwhelmed by college options in our lower cost haven. Meh. Honestly, I wouldn't even send him to community college here. I think the odds that he will live at home for college are at about 0%. So... I had to laugh at myself when thinking about college tours, I didn't even think of anything local?? & then we went on a drive to Yosemite last week and we passed a billion (so it felt like) colleges I didn't know much about. It's like, "Oh yeah, there's that college and that college and that college..." & then I got home and started thinking about all these other big name tech-y colleges (that I had forgotten about when making initial list). UGH! So, I asked MH if he wanted to tour a couple of the local schools. He did, so I will add them to the list. But I told him that other than that, I Was done. If he heard of some other college that really struck his fancy, to let me know. But I think we can officially check off that we did our job as parents, if we take him on an additional 2-4 tours.

I share, because I think this illustrates why we haven't seriously considered any out-of-state colleges. We are pretty much drowning in affordable/excellent public options. This has always been a very clear trade-off to higher housing costs. I had always planned to take advantage (and we certainly did so with our own degrees too).

I guess #1, this is where we are at currently with all things college. But #2, I have to throw it out there in case I do eventually announce that my son is going to some crazy expensive private college. Because if I don't share this post, it might seem like that is coming way out of nowhere. Like with my husband, I know I have always said I am open to absolutely anything (within reason). But he didn't *get it* until last weekend. I expect it's the same in my blog.

As a refresher, these are our parameters re: college, from prior blog post:

We both agree that we expect the kids to work significantly during high school and college, that our own financial health comes first, and that we don't want to borrow a penny for college. We don't want them to graduate with any student loan debt. We are willing to help our kids in any way we can as long as we are within these parameters.

It always strikes me kind of silly as people get really bogged down with the details. If I had a dollar for every person who told me just how their kid will go to college (where, how they will or won't work, if they will live at home or in the dorms, etc.) from like the day their child was born. This has always struck me as completely insane. Heck if I know! Depends depends depends. I've never focused on the details. It's the parameters I mentioned above that matter to me. Not mortgaging my future (or encouraging my kids to mortgage their future), and it has to make any sense whatsoever. But beyond that, I couldn't tell you any of the details. Even 2 years out, still feel very much, "It depends how it all shakes out". & of course, more opportunities always arise when you keep your options open. The second we start locking things down and being inflexible, the less options we will have. Which is why we are going to wait until it all shakes out.

In addition to that, it's been very important for us to have our kids work and save money now, because I don't know how college will shake out. It's very likely my "extreme outlier" child will not be able to work during college. Obscure private college heavily encourages summer work and internships. That would be very much in line with our values. But it's pretty clear that he probably couldn't work during the school year, at that college. I wanted to clarify because I did put "work" in there. I've never taken it for granted that our kids could work as much as we did during college. That was more, "Our kids aren't going to sit on their butts and do nothing during the summers," if nothing else. There will be always be some way to work and contribute.

Edited to add: To be clear, our "expected contribution" at private college is literally 10 times as much as sticker price at any public college. Unless he does very well on the academic/sports scholarship side of things, the cost of this private college will be ridiculous. It's a decision that is impossible to make until we have college acceptances and scholarships in hand. Until then, it's going to be clear as mud. Will plan for both extremes.

I mentioned in my last post that we got MM(16) a credit card for the convenience factor.

I was just so behind and so much I wanted to touch on, but I did want to elaborate on this today, now that I think about it a little more.

Firstly, I didn't particularly have a discussion with MM about this. The discussions have already been had, long ago. I remember my kids being genuinely horrified, when they were 8 or 10, when they learned how most people use their credit cards. I am guessing that is mostly genetic. We both come from a long line of extreme savers. I just don't think it needs to be said out loud. MM in particular is a math whiz. I don't need to explain to him why it doesn't make any sense to carry a balance on a card with a 15% interest rate.

I did tell him that I set all my cards on a monthly cycle (1st through 30th) and that I pay them off the first of every month. & suggested he get in that habit. You know, in the old days we waited for the bill to come in the mail. But this is the internet age. I told him to put it on his calendar and just be done the first of every month. It will be a good habit for him to start.

The other thing that came up is that this credit card has a 0% interest rate for 18 months? MM asked me why he didn't just borrow against the card and leverage his savings account. I told him he could do whatever he wants. But I kind of felt we were starting with the training wheels and I'd like to take them off more slowly. I think MH and I both talked some sense into him. But that's my kid. I am trying to start at A and he's already jumping ahead to Z. (I did tell him that the catch is you have to pay off within that 18 months, or they will backcharge the interest probably).

It will be the same for my other kid. MM was literally born "0 going on 5" and you throw in the math whiz factor, and that's where he is. (So he's now "16 going on 25.") My other kid? He is way way way into economics. I have often said, "I don't know if he's going to be an actor or a hedge fund manager." Literally. He's the one who was always trading his lunches for something better. It blew his mind when he realized the high value of chocolate milk in the lunch room. So he'd start trading for milk first, and then trade for something more substantial. I actually would have more expected him to leap on the 0% leverage. Is just how his mind works. So though they are very different in their underlying personalities, I think the end result is about the same.

So much going on, will try to pop out a few posts today.

MM(16) got his driver's license. Phew!

So. Much. Time. This frees up for us adults.

MM(16) is as charmed as always. The in-laws came up a week before his birthday, to celebrate DL's birthday. We took two cars out to eat and I said, "MM, why don't you drive?" His car was already in the street, so was just the easiest. We had a lovely dinner, but when we came out, the coolant had emptied out into the parking lot. UGH! MIL had told us when she gave us the car, she'd pay for any repairs before MM's birthday. Which was just a few days away at this point. That is clearly ridiculous. I wasn't going to have them pay for repairs on a FREE car. But, when I saw the coolant, my first thought was, "Yeah, maybe they could pay for that." It clearly wasn't going to be cheap. It's moot because they were there and they clearly insisted on paying for it.

So that is MM's luck. His first major car repair is with *4* adults and a second car. I mean, don't get me wrong, it was a huge PITA. But it certainly could have been much worse. That, and he gets a free repair.

I mentioned in my last post that we got MM a new stereo system with bluetooth. In our teens/20s we bought older cars, but always upgraded the stereo. I guess that's what is important to us. But yeah, I am also remembering all my friends and family who like rubberband their cell phone to their visor. Um, NOPE. New teen driver can have a proper bluetooth setup; will keep his hands on the wheel.

MM(16) passed his driver's test a few days after his birthday, and all is well. I gassed up the car and ran it through the car wash before officially handing it over.

I did also get a credit card for MM(16). We had planned to get him a secured card at our credit union. But as his birthday approached and I started thinking about it more, it sounded like an extraordinary PITA. So I veered at the last minute and just applied for some new card (in my name) and made him an authorized user. We settled on the Chase Freedom. It just hit all the marks. He gets 5% back on gas (this quarter). 1% back on everything else? $150 sign up bonus. I suppose this also helps his credit (if reported to the credit bureaus) but at this point "convenience" is our primary motivation. He has all of college (age 18+) to start building up his credit. He will be the only one using that card.

{Side Tangent: & that reminds me, I of course lowered the credit limit, because it started at some ridiculous $30k or something like that. This is just a side tangent, but most of what I saw online was NEVER lower your credit limit *sigh* I lowered it significantly, but still room to keep a good utilization ratio. Is better than being on the hook for $30k down the road, in some bizarrely unforeseeable circumstance. People get a little crazed in their "one size fits all" credit score advice. This is not the first time I've ignored the advice}.

I've only been getting cash (ever) for MM's gymnastics, so I told him he could be in charge of his own cash from now on. One more thing to make my life easier. (I will just reimburse him if he ever goes to the ATM; we still intend to pay).

MM(16) was telling me yesterday he needed some deoderant and shampoo, something like that. I told him I did too, so will go this weekend. But he made a comment at some point, "I guess I can take myself." Good point!

I was thinking about it today and thinking it would be easier to just put him on my Target card so that I didn't have to keep track of "his versus ours" expenses (of course I will pay for his shampoo and deoderant) and he could still get the 5% off. So I went ahead and added him to our Target card today.

I did also add him to our AAA account. & got him insured on his car. I am not sure how that will shake out. I think the bill is sitting in our mailbox right now. Will figure it out tonight. I had told him it would be around $1k per year, and is totally his responsibility. But I already paid $250 in June (for 6 months) and he gets a $150 bonus with this credit card. So I told him it would probably be more like $100, the balance due, for 6 months. I think the bill I got was $250 (sitting in mailbox), so seems rather spot on. I presume that's for another 6 months (July - January). I will see the dates when I get the paperwork. So after prepping for a $500 bill, we knocked it down to around $100. I asked MH if he was okay with just giving him credit for what we already paid. He was fine with that. Is just easier that way, and less accounting.

MM(16) did just wrap up work at my job, school starts next week. He's got about $3,500 cash I believe. He should be good for a while. The car is his only expense at this point. (He doesn't spend money, very much like his father). I do not believe he will work at all the rest of the year. Cross country is 2 hours every day, plus weekends. (He quit before because it was too time consuming, but seems to be going for it this year). Will see how he feels when practice resumes mid-day in the middle of summer. But he's been falling asleep every time I drive him home from work (he's been working with me). He is somewhat super human, but I think he has a very full plate. Especially if he wants to run 2 hours every day AND do gymnastics. MH was kind of, "What about a job?" Ahem. MH, who made bank only working summers. All through college. I told MM that it may be a seasonal job will be more his thing. He will probably want to work more hours next summer, finding something more seasonal but full-time. I also mentioned there is a lot of seasonal work around the Holidays. He's clearly got enough money to last through next summer.

All that reminds me, back to the car. So, we learned our lesson. The in-laws had the car all fixed up and checked out and detailed and everything, before they handed it over in December. It's always been very loud and rattly, but we recently replaced two old and rattly cars that our mechanics said were just old and loud. So we didn't think too much about it. (Our 2001 & 2005. This other car is a 2004). So... We had the car towed to the shop and the second they turned it on they said, "That's the water pump." The car is VERY quiet now. Lesson learned. Always get a second opinion. Yeesh! The coolant was unrelated. Looks like a rock or something hit the coolant tank and caused the leak. So it was two repairs. The mechanic just raved on and on about the car, but I think they were just impressed we found an old car in such good condition. I don't know that we are that impressed, because that's how we buy cars. It's an old car with 200k miles. Yeah sure, we know our parents take good care of their cars. (Admittedly, I've never bought or kept a car with that many miles. I'd expect any car to last that long, with our mild weather and driving habits, but we just don't drive that much. It would take us 20 years to get to 200k miles). It may be the odometer they were mostly impressed with, I don't know. If it's not a "rattly" car, I suppose that impresses me too. So while I am a little bit perplexed why on earth their mechanic couldn't diagnose the very loud water pump (that ours could diagnose with just the sound alone, in about 5 seconds), it sounds like they otherwise knew what they were doing. I think they also had been using our mechanic (back home, AMAZING) who passed away a few years ago. He maybe gets most the credit for the good repair of this car.