Just a 47-year-old mom of 2 in Northern California. My kids are Monkey Monkey(MM) and Drama Llama (DL). I am married to Monkey Hubby (MH). I only have one word for this week - CRAZY!
I am actually at work 3 days, but it is filled with meetings and such. I am starting to feel "behind." Ugh. Maybe next week will be normal, though I may take a day off to meet with the Bay Area surgeon, with dh.
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My mom's health has been going downhill a bit.
I am not sure how much of this I can take. Both my folks, and dh.
My mom called me yesterday, sounding somber. I asked, "Who is it now?" I figure someone was in the hospital or something. Why not? Why not make it one more person to worry about?
In the end, she had her own rough week, and I wouldn't be surprised if she was holding back since she knows what I time I am having.
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I mentioned earlier, this whole trial has been life-affirming on some level.
For all the negative, I am just glad dh can look back so positively on his life. & like I said, he is expected to live, but still, it gets you thinking. Many deep discussions around here of late.
I feel moreso than ever, that we made the best financial choices we could, to move here. I have considered opening a HELOC, if it comes to borrowing money for surgery outside of our insured options. The thing is, we have that option. Back home, we would both be working, and could perhaps have over double the mortgage. (Or just be paying 2-3 times as much to rent). We likely would have much younger children, if any. Putting more important things on hold, for insane cost of living. Are we more glad than ever, that we thought outside the box in that regard.
On the flip side, it has been important to be close to family. We have needed each other a LOT this year. Since we had talked so much about moving out of state, I am glad in the end, we stayed. & yet, moving to our low-cost haven gives us so much more flexibility and financial options, as we face crisis.
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My birthday came and went, and I was spoiled rotten.
I also got to see dh's MRI - and it was hard to see. Just, wow! His tumor is quite large.
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I have greatly welcomed the chance to return to work and to have other distractions. Phew!!!!! Maybe the timing of all this is a blessing in some regard. Work will keep me busy!
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**In financial news, I got our new bank account, in Trust, all set up and funded. Getting 2% on our cash, now.
**I am not sure what our HELOC options are, if so needed. Thing is, it goes against every fiber of our being. But I suppose I could consider up to $250k in loans against our home, to save dh's brain. (Thing is, we never take ANY debt lightly). Leaves us about $40k to borrow ($250 was just the max we said we would ever borrow for a home - we ended up closer to $230k when we bought this house). I am not sure we have the equity to borrow that much though. Lord knows - the market is so wacky here. The thing about this year is just nothing has sold. Nothing has particularly sold less than $300k. But, who knows.
**Last I looked, my perspective was that the school daycare was EXPENSIVE.
I guess perspective changes? It is $6/hour, $24 max a day (holidays and such), AND full-time is about $330 per month. I won't stress about it - easy/convenient/affordable/good option.
These are the kinds of things I am looking at. I guess, trying to prepare for the worst. I hope none of this stuff is really needed, of course.
We've been told that dh could "recover" in 2 weeks. Or he may have balance issues and be unable to drive, for many months. So many unknowns at this point. I am just trying to think ahead and be prepared as possible.
Roller Coaster Week
December 3rd, 2009 at 03:13 pm
December 3rd, 2009 at 03:22 pm 1259853779
(hugs) is all I can say. I think you are amazingly equipped to deal with things!
December 3rd, 2009 at 04:00 pm 1259856000
December 3rd, 2009 at 04:06 pm 1259856389
December 3rd, 2009 at 04:44 pm 1259858673
December 3rd, 2009 at 05:12 pm 1259860330
Sending you my best wishes for it to soon get better for your dh and your family.
December 3rd, 2009 at 05:56 pm 1259863007
I think this whole experience will leave me feeling like I am getting my money's worth, and feeling that it was smart to stick with private insurance, all along. My employer's insurance cost MORE, has benefit limits, and some ugly annual deductible (like $20k). This would be a nightmare if I settled for the status qou, yes. (For perspective, I know a brain tumor can cost millions to treat).
As is, the $6k out-of-pocket we are looking at, seems like a "big whoop." Dh and I haven't looked outside out HMO yet - that's a MIL thing. Meaning, I highly doubt we will go the "surgeon out of pocket" route anyway. Dh and I are happy with our options.
December 3rd, 2009 at 07:40 pm 1259869232
{{{{hugs}}}}
December 3rd, 2009 at 08:06 pm 1259870774
It's funny. I worry a lot about success and accomplishing things and my hubby always has to remind me that those things aren't the most important things, that we should just enjoy each other and our children and live more in the moment. He is right, and you are reminding me again of that.
December 4th, 2009 at 05:07 pm 1259946459
December 7th, 2009 at 05:08 pm 1260205701
It's often helpful to have a spouse as a balancing force.