Monkey Mama*s Monkey Money Blog

It's been way too busy to catch up around here.

So I hope everyone is doing well.

I have been researching dental insurance options and they all suck.

It might not be the worst time to keep an eye out for orthodontia options. But I did pull out some of the plans we have available to us, thinking my mind may change with recent events.

Nah, they all suck. They are expensive, they don't cover anything, and they don't cover any of the trusted dentists that are so hard to find. Etc., etc., etc.

It's just maddening.

It's one of those things I mostly chalk up to being useless if you have cash. When I run the numbers, none of it makes any sense. I thought it would make more sense considering my child had a mouthful of cavities. But it makes even less sense. So I could pay $1k/year for them to only cover $1k, and only reimburse 20% of the costs anyway (which would never add up to $1k). !!!

But I did mention how last time my dentist apologetically handed me a quote for $200/each for X-rays, next time. If we think we can swing it...

Yeah, I think we will survive.

I know, I know 99% of the people out there are completely broke or something.

For us, self insurance is still the obvious choice. Though I am wondering where those great dental plans are? Where do you have to work to get those? How great are they really? Inquiring minds want to know. If my spouse needs to work at a specific company for the orthodontia years, let me know. Seriously!

Of course all my friends here pity me. They get paid 50% (of what I do) by the state and yes they do have STELLAR benefits. But they just don't get I rather have the CASH. IT covers the private benefits (& lack of benefits) and then some. Of course now is not a time to brag about working for the state of California. What a mess... So I think I will survive.

But yeah, I wonder how many people run the numbers. I am just way too "big picture" to get caught up in the small picture of things.

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As far as potential $1k-$3k dental bills, we will tap the medical fund as much as we can, and pray we don't hit our medical deductible this year. We've spent about $1k (of $3k max), but have some routine appointments coming up and still no ambulance bill. Their slowness helps in this situation. But it would figure if it came now and drained our deductible. It's still so up in the air - no idea what it will be even.

We also have $3k set aside for more longer term expenses. Hoping not to tap too much of it. We'll see.

I wanted to save $5k per year in that fund (for work around the house and next car purchases, orthodontia in the future, etc.). BUT we have some catching up to do. Since we started with $0 in that fund this year, after getting our efund up to snuff last year.

Boy, we will just have MORE catching up to do.

OF course, times like this we always throw out the words, "second job." I think we are quite unusual that it seems like the norm is to kind of hit rock bottom (read, be in tons of debt) before considering how to dig out.

I just get nervous when all of our future plans don't add up.

I know we can buy a decent car for $1k if anything happened to dh's car and all that. But the house needs some work. We need to save up cash for an outside paint job (The builder did a crappy job and the HOA has much sway over enforcing repainting. Though I notice no one has taken the initiative to paint - I think everyone is too broke. Every house on the block needs it - sad to say). WE also need to replace our fence. Surprised none of our neighbors have approached us. Our line of action is to figure it out if they approach us, but to save the cash in the meantime. Crappy builder fence. House is 7 years old. I think our neighbors are waiting for the wind to blow it down. Likely this winter - it just gets so windy. Blew down some portions last winter, both adjoining neighbors. We've just been lucky to this point. Surprised it lasted this long honestly. But part of the point is to get a nice fence and not go cheap, anyway. So, saving pennies.

Anyway, throw in we have really no savings after all this (outside the efund which I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. These are not emergencies). & dh's car is getting pretty darn old.

Yeah, I am ready to wave the red flag.

Another job?

I don't know. As usual we have excuses. BM is starting school, and tax season (soon to follow) is always a terrible time. My dh has applied for a million minimum wage seasonal christmas jobs in the past, to no avail. Something like that would help immensely. But they apparently don't want educated workers in those kinds of jobs. It's always been frustrating to me, we picked those jobs up by the handful in college, but these days they won't give us the time of day. I don't expect this year to be any better, with the economy.

I saw UPS jobs for $400/month take-home with benefits (15 hours/week) BUT dh can make as much on Craigslist/ebay anyway. I think we will continue that route, enjoy having a child out of preschool, and see if we can work our way ahead.

In the meantime we'll have a lean rest of the year and I will consider diverting any/all raises to cash, instead of retirement, until we get on better footing.

Other times I wonder if I just panic too much anyway. But I much rather panic now then when I Was broke, all the same.

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Oh well, as far as living lean, here it goes.

I took BM swimming after work yesterday and he is doing REALLY well. I was quite surprised. Was a very nice "free" evening.

Glad he hasn't forgotten all we learn. The pool closes after Memorial Day weekend so only 2-3 more weekends to enjoy. (Kind of silly how little it is open - but we have grandma's pool to practice in a bit for September).

My nieces birthday is TODAY!! But no invite, so I think we may have a San Jose-free month. Some gas savings, phew.

The CSA we joined has a farm tour in a couple of weekends, but I think we will skip this round. There's always next time. Would be a lot of gas.

Dh got 2 free movie tickets in some trade, so we may have a date in September. Skipping this month. Will be cheap, for sure, when we go.

BM was invited camping with Grandpa. Last weekend August. I bowed out because I camped near here once in 100+ degree weather and no, you couldn't pay me to do that again. MISERABLE. As soon as my dad said, "Not too far from Sacramento" and "August" - I said, "No Thanks!!" He tried to tell me there was a lake. I Said - "Didn't help last time." LOL.

But dh may end up going with them after all. We'll see. Not sure there will be any expenses there. We paid for my dad's Yosemite trip, so he may cover any expenses. Not sure if there are any/much.

But this weekend, no plans. Will hit FairyTale Town perhaps (free with membership) and maybe the local parks and maybe the pool. But that is how our next couple of weekends look.

We also have quite a pile for Craigslist. IF only my other stuff would sell. One thing at a time...

All I sold was my lava lamp. Yeesh. Relisting with lower prices today. I do admit, I started high. But I got so much interest in one stroller I hung tight to $20. Didn't pay off. Will take $15 next time I am offered.

Lots of flakes this round too. I mean I think 5 people e-mailed me they would take it for $20. Just frustrating.

I am throwing quite a pile into the Goodwill/Freecycle pile. I thought I'd try to sell first. It's just so hit and miss sometimes. Now is not the time to sell weird stuff.

Trying to sell:

*Baby room decor (will sell with lower prices I am sure)
*Strollers

I don't even remember what else.

Next batch is a booster seat for the dinner table and LOTS of baby proof stuff. IT came up because I spotted baby spoons yesterday. I mentioned we didn't need those (freecycle probably) and dh said we didn't need any of our baby proofing. True. We have some we never installed.

I think we are making progress. The clutter seems to be decreasing a tad.

When the weather cools down I really want to hit the garage. We have some furniture in there, for one. We don't have a ton of stuff in there (We park both cars in it), and no overhead storage or anything, but I've got the de-clutter bug. I just want to clean it out!!!

I don't think of August as a crazed month. At all. But August 2008 is just CRAZY.

So, here's a rundown of yesterday.

*****Dental quote of $2500 to fill 11 cavities for BM.

Yes, ELEVEN.

Worst part of it? 2 molars in each quadrant (where is teeth are so close together - both teeth touching have cavities). Plus some on his top front teeth. MEans FIVE visits.

& as somewhat naturalists I am not terribly pleased he needs to get injected with novacaine or whatever, FIVE times. Egads.

He just turned FIVE a couple of weeks back.

Cause - dh's genes. I blame him. Grrrrrrrr.

Of course, as such, would not be a fan of knocking him out. But part of you wonders if that would be better. I know, probably not. But just, poor kid.

Hopefully flossing will prevent future cavities. The kid could not eat any better.

The plus on all this? There are some pluses. Charged for consult but free x-rays. (Phew). Were very nice. The plus is Dr. said we caught early. There is a fine line between cavity and root canal in children - their enamel is just so thin. He was scaring the hell out of me. I am grateful for my dentist catching them. They didn't tell me anything my trusted dentist didn't already, really. My dentist said his mouth was full of cavities and the course of action was fillings. They agreed.

Other plus is they guess only 7 cavities. But quoted me 11. His teeth are so close together (which is the cause of the cavities) that they can't really tell if they will need to fill them all, until they start drilling the worse ones and looking at the neighboring teeth at that point.

Ugh.

So final cost will be in the range of $1k - $3k (they may find more, though at least that is doubtful). & even if they only fill 7 now, there are a few of his more long-term molars to keep an eye on.

His 2 front bottom teeth. Clearly on the way out, from his x-rays. They are like the only ones with NO cavities. Figures...

***Chuck E Cheese!!! The Chuck E Cheese by our house is horrid and run down and we avoid it like the plague.

BUT the kids really wanted to go. For BM's birthday - that was his choice.

We finally got around to it last night. Feeling bad for his dental plight and all.

Coupon for a large 2-topping pizza, 4 sodas, and 50 tokens, for $24.99.

!!

The place was empty on a week night (no doubt with the economy as well). & it was clean. Nothing was broken. They even had new stuff.

No way!!

So we actually had a pleasant time and could see going back.

We also had a coupon for 100 tokens for $15. I Could see going back for that. Skip the food. Though we were surprised though the pizza wasn't really that bad, we just expected it to be worse. But yeah, we can skip the food next time. Still a great place to go.

I know, last thing BM needed was that soda...

Of course, I see why they do it that way. Try to get you to buy more food and more tokens and all that. We didn't spend a penny over $25.

The kids won some cheap prizes, and we went on our merry way.

With the coupons I could see going back monthly. Entertainment these days hardly gets cheaper/better than that.

I am so relieved they fixed the place up a bit.

***CEC was over by Mervyn's so I stopped by because I REALLY need new pants. I mean, they are fading and they have these professional pants that fit so well.

I went over and couldn't find the pants, but found a gorgeous dress for $25. I was on the fence, but when a dress fits (rare) I buy it.

I can't decide if it is appropriate for work. Will work for casual/night out kind of thing. I likey.

I made a mental note of some stuff I need but just couldn't find anything. I need to hit a thrift shop. I really haven't bought much in the way of clothes this year.

You could argue if I could justify this purchase. We have much to save for this month. But, well, it was a nice treat.

I was thinking maybe I could look online for the pants. *sigh*

Tops are easy to find, which I guess is good, to easily spice up a wardrobe. But pants and dresses are my arch-nemesis or something. Bah. I've just been avoiding it... Just one more thing I NEED.

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Anyway, as far as the dentist... We have the cash and we will survive. It just really took the wind out of my sails yesterday. Not something I would have predicted in a million years. That my child has 11 cavities. Ugh!

*Received a $10 off at Kohls in the mail - no strings attached. LOVE these. Though they usually have the intended effect - buy more than I would anyway.

I am thinking of buying underwear. Something I needed. Now it will be free.

I can't say I will be able to resist the clothes... Could always use clothes... But I will try.

If I am lucky my mom will send me her $10 too. (She did last time).

*I was VERY stressed looking at the credit card once I subtracted out the new computer purchase and airfare to Denver. As I voiced my stress out loud to dh and thought about it it seemed there was a good $300 void there. He asked me if I had considered the fridge repair. Doh.

Nope, forgot. That makes much more sense. Leaves about $600 for gas and groceries and ideally nothing else, for the rest of the month. Almost half way through the month and enough food to feed the army, and no long driving plans. !!!! We'll see. The less we spend of the $600 left, the less we will have to pull out of savings for all this other stuff.

I wouldn't get too excited. BM has a dental consult today. For all his cavities. Ugh. My savings is vanishing before my eyes with all this stuff. Nope, didn't budget for numerous cavities for a 4-year-old. Likewise, my dentist was nice enough to take him (he is CHEAP) but now we have to have a consult with the ped. At least I already have one we had a good experience with (with LM). Reminds me I need to take my checkbook so we can get 10% cash discount. !! That's something. So consult today and fillings to come... Kind of double charged in a sense since we already did a consult. But that's how it works out. I think we will switch the kids to the ped dentist. The ped dentist is local - that is good. My dentist just wants nothing to do with kids. But we tried... I realize now if he is just going to send them to the ped when anything is wrong, we just have to make that leap.

*Dh's computer stands at $700 today. We'll see. He is building it himself and so though I am not sure this is cheapest in the end (original quote was more like $300 from him) I think he is getting 10 times the computer he expected so figured might as well get what he wants and what will last and be useful for a long while. & hopefully won't die in 4 years.

BM is really enjoying watching the whole thing - he loves figuring out how things work, so this is just fascinating to him.

I'll ask dh what he thinks the whole system would retail for, for comparison. I can't say he is saving much, but that he sees much advantage to a self built machine.

In the past he pushed this method for cost savings, but can't say I am convinced this round.

ETA: Dh assured me his system would be $1k brand new, and of lesser quality. We are up to about $775, or $700 after rebates. So I guess there is cost savings there. We'll see when all is said and done. The last $75 was unexpected - needed a new power supply after all. (I imagine there could be more unexpected purchases as he works on it).

I am still frustrated this is not the top dog computer. That one will need to be upgraded one of these days as well - more for his work. But things are not where he wants them to be right now - he wants blu-ray for one - on his computer. So holding out.

We usually only upgrade that computer and hand down the rest. IF we replace it every 5-10 years, it's just not a big expense for everyone in the house to have a computer. Our *system* is just way *off* since the NEWEST computer bit the dust. *sigh* Now "top dog" is like 6 years old and "second-tier" will be brand new. & one hand-me-down computer bit the dust. We have just never had a computer completely die before. I am still quite annoyed about the whole thing! Though obviously we will survive. The kids still have a computer, "ancient computer" and dh will probably hand down "top dog" in a couple of years.

*Dh has a $100 focus group today. Yay! He'll probably cough up another $200-$300 for the computer and the rest can probably be covered from this month's budget. If we're lucky we won't have to touch savings for the computer. Phew. Lm will be at school and I will lunch with BM and take him to the dentist. Just works out. Tempted to drop him off at preschool, but just want that $100 to be PURE profit! I can take a couple of hours off work instead.

*Send my in-laws good vibes/prayers. Dh's grandma owns a vacation home in the Sierras, and after something like 50 years, Allstate suddenly dropped her. So as of October or something she has no insurance on the home. She is meeting with a new insurance agent today to see if they will take her on. (They are dropping fire coverage to all homeowners in the area).

I mentioned in a post earlier I was rather loyal to my insurance company (mostly because they always have been the cheapest. But I don't feel it's worth it to jump ship for a very few dollars). But this is a wonderful reminder of how not loyal the insurance companies are to you. BAH to Allstate. (Not my company or I would probably drop them in protest).

Anyway, they dropped by for dinner last night on their way to the house for a couple of days.

*As far as my retirement accounts go, they are holding steady. I keep saying I am lucky in that I am young enough I just don't have that much to lose. I seem to be adding money in as fast as it goes down, so the balance is rather steady. I've already been through worse so I know this is just the game. (2001 was right off the bat for me - out of college - and we lost some money we will never recover - tech stocks). So this round is faring much better. Just dollar cost averaging in, and I know when the economy improves, my balances will rise.

I was talking to my dad last night about the economy and such and he admitted the same. He said he was putting so much in that his balances were holding steady. (Even as he probably nears the million mark).

I had never thought that much about it. Though I am quite sure it will be harder to stomach the market gyrations at those levels, I hadn't thought as much that with time we will probably contribute more. So if nothing else, less likely to slide backwards.

My dad is probably putting $40k/year into savings. But then again, they have gotten a lot of inheritances and stuff lately, so probably much more. They seem to be doing well enough.

My dad admitted last night he would consider retiring if not for healthcare. He is 57.

I think I will send him the private insurance rates for our insurance. They really aren't horrid. Not for someone in their position. Plus, my dad is one of those types who will never stop working.

I do know he is holding out for some vesting in his start up, and maybe even they will get bought out and make it big. So I know he is holding out for some of that as well. But I was kind of surprised to hear his analysis. It's not cheap, but would get him through to medicare age. They have the money. I just wonder if he had even priced it.

We have always been privately insured so I never entirely understood COBRA (when it is more expensive than better/private insurance) and loyalty to employment for measly benefits. I think just so few people even shop around. The primary reason I have never taken employment benefits is they sucked and were more expensive. The same held true when I worked for a giant int'l corporation and now that I work for the small mom/pop.

So I was rather surprised when my dad told me the only thing holding him back from retirement was health benefits. I wonder if I could convince him otherwise. (Truth is he will probably consult enough on the side to cover insurance and then some, anyway).

*My boss is flying back today and I will stop being the top of the totem pole.

Thank Goodness!!!!! LOL.

I know today is not over, but aside from the alarm going off, the week has been rather calm. Knock on wood. I will be glad to shed this role though and actually have some time to get my real work done.

Tonight my boss will be back on alarm duty - so phew.

So, schools these days just keep you longer and you come out learning less, huh?

I read yesterday that the traditional track schools started yesterday.

HUH???

We have a lot of year-round school tracks in our district, so not many started. But I was amazed that my kid could have easily started school yesterday.

Anyway, I wondered if they got out way early or something, so I checked the calendar and summer is only 2 months. (Looks rather year-round to me).

Holy cow.

I think it is the one thing that annoys me about the shift to a 2-income-family society. Most parents love this. I HATE it. Who wants to go to school 10 months out of the year? Blech.

& all day school for the Kinders, etc.

Anyway, our school does not start until next week. Though they largely follow the same schedule (lots of vacations and days off so summer break is rather short).

So we are enjoying the last week of FREEDOM. Since having kids we really just haven't had much of a schedule.

All that changes next week. Ugh!

For one, I don't remember the last time I set an alarm clock. My job is largely flexible. The kids' school is largely flexible. I mean it's not a school; it's daycare. As long as we pay we can bring them whenever we want.

So this whole getting to school at 8:30 sharp thing (& being organized to pack a lunch, etc.) is going to be rather weird.

I pack my lunch for work, but I usually just grab something on my way out the door. I think I will have to be a little more organized too. So all that is ready and we make it out the door in time, every day.

I almost laugh to myself because I am a VERY on the ball person. Growing up I certainly was. I would never be one to worry about running late, etc. But we have really settled into a very relaxed way of life. So yeah, it will take some adjusting. We will have to be organized because no way I want to be a crazed mom running out the door every day.

We've also been discussing who has BM drop off duty. During non-tax-season I will probably drop him off and go into the office a little later. But during tax season I would prefer to get to work earlier. We'll see. The boys will get lots of walking done. He'll mostly walk except when I drop him off on the way to work.

All that being said, I was home alone with BM Sunday and he was bouncing off the walls. He's been out of preschool a few weeks, and I think he has had enough. He is certainly one kid who is VERY ready. So that is the good. I am excited for him and don't expect much trauma and tears. LM has really enjoyed going to preschool without BM so I even expect him to take it rather well. (Though he is a bit jealous and wants to go to K too. We'll see how the first few days go. I hear the little ones take it hard, and he is an emotional one).

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Anyway, in other news, I can finally praise the new cell phone law. July 1 a new law went into effect in Cali - no cell phones as a driver unless using a hands-free device.

We have griped much about it. The comedians have made fun of how much more dangerous it is to hook up a hands-free device while driving or how texting is still quite legal while driving.

I think the whole thing is rather ridiculous really. Because apparently you can drive with one hand unless you are talking on a cell phone. It's just rather narrow and kind of silly. All other distractions just 100% legal.

Though the headset thing I don't mind so much, it's just when you are driving and you get a call and so you set it on speaker on your lap, and it falls under your feet. You know, stuff like that. So I have been grumbling how my driving is maybe 10 times dangerous. (I will give you I try to avoid the phone in the car now - which I guess is the true point of the law).

Anyway, no more grumbling from me.

Yesterday I was driving and talking to my mom yesterday, when I came upon my exit. It is another freeway and sometimes gets really crowded. I just wasn't in the mood to fight my way over - too many cars, so I just went on to the next exit. It's rare I do this, but I do.

I wish more people would do this!

So I was driving along when I looked to my left and saw a bright purple car. My mom has a purple car. I REALLY noticed it because it was purple, otherwise can't say I would take any notice.

At that point, purple car decides they want to take the exit I am passing up and they start swerving into my car. They aren't even really past me AT ALL. I was just stunned. I pretty much swerved and slammed on the breaks all at once and I watched as they zoomed across the white lines onto their exit. I glance in my rearview mirror and no one is behind me at all. Thank God. (Can't say if anyone had swerved around us, I Was too focused on the idiot purple car).

So anyway, I am not a confrontational person at all but I was just FUMING. I laid on the horn and gave the car the evilest eye I could muster. Lady didn't even look like she had a clue I was honking at her. Just toodled along without a glance. If she looked at me I might have giver her the finger.

Anyway, after all that, I gave my mom the run down and she said, "Aren't you glad you had both hands on the wheel?"

I thought about it and said, "Yeah. You're right. If not I think I would have hit her. I mean, she would have hit me. We would have hit each other." Or I was thinking I probably would have swerved anyway but I was on the verge of losing control of the car. VERY scary.

So no more complaints from me.

I feel very lucky the idiot in the purple car did not slam into me yesterday. I had LM and she was plowing right into our side of the car. About the closest call I remember in a long time.

I tell you if the car wasn't purple though, I think there would have been accident. It just really caught my eye so I saw the second she started to come into my lane. I Was thinking, "What on earth is she doing?" & it wasn't until she went off onto the other freeway I realized she had to risk life and limb not to miss her exit. Whereas I had decided a mile back to not even bother with it.

Yeesh!!!!!!!

My mom even asked if I was in the subcompact. I'm like, um, no I am in the MINIVAN. She was totally blind or something.

So yeah, I know my dh is not pleased, but I told him I wasn't going to gripe anymore. He lost his griping partner on that issue.

I do feel really lucky that my car is in one piece still. Phew. & us people too. I think since everything has been falling apart I was kind of thinking, "Thank goodness my car is still in one piece." But we were traveling around 65mph, so who knows what could have happened. I guess I should feel lucky that LM and I are both in one piece too.

http://dvice.com/archives/2008/03/windup_key_for.php



Teehee. Saw one of these on the road today.

I had to do a double take.

We were toying with the idea of trying our favorite Indian Restaurant (AGAIN - failed 3 times already) and taking advantage of only paying for one child for childcare.

Anyway, on the flip side, this month is crazy and I felt like we had about $0 to spare on something so decadent.

Anyway, was scared to go since the first 3 times ended in a broken down car, closed daycare, and closed restaurant. Dare we try again? Not sure our cars needed that jinx. Like enough hasn't fallen apart this month.

Right or wrong, we decided to go but to just take BM with us. We could eat but skip the childcare. (Though earlier we had told him he could go play and that would have only been $8-$16. We probably made the backwards choice! Should have dropped him off to play, and stayed home).

Anyway, we took him and though he does fine in most restaurants, we did feel rather out of place in such a place of fine dining. We went a little on the early side as such, but I was acutely aware of his inability to sit still.

He did well enough. But probably not something I would do very soon again. Glad we only had one kid. The 2 to well enough in a loud, noisy place, but maybe not so much in a quiet, elegant place.

The restaurant had changed ownership and we were sorely disappointed, $50 later.

We usually can only justify the splurge once or twice a year - and we usually spend $50 for the 2 of us - so it wasn't horrid considering BM ate a fair amount (& leftovers as well).

Anyway, the plus from the whole thing is I doubt we will return. We have a decent Indian cafe now, much closer to home, and so, no, don't think we will return for the overpriced so-so food.

What a bummer though!

We may brave their lunch buffet on another occasion and see what we think. A new addition. (I assume a bit more on the affordable side). But beyond that, we just did not have a good experience. All of the sides were good, but the main dishes flopped.

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Anyway, this restaurant is downtown and while there everyone was talking about "Second Saturday." Had heard about it but have never partook. Many art galleries are open for the evening, for free, and I guess the music scene is exploding along with that (had not heard much about the music). So on our way out the hostess asked if we were downtown for Second Saturday. "Um, no," we said as we walked out the door. But hearing the music in the distance we decided it was a look see to see if anyone else had a kids in tow. (Didn't think it was particularly a family event - more a grown up thing). So we ended up having a very pleasant walk. The grounds by the State Capitol are just beautiful - I always take advantage of a walk there, and we followed the sound to some of the live bands playing.

It was REALLY crowded and saw a lot of dressed up adults, and wasn't quite sure where we would go anyway, so we turned around and walked back to the car. But we had a pleasant walk and exposed BM to a little culture. It was also nice just looking at the Victorians and old architecture. As much as I have explained how partial I am to new construction, as far as our home, I can't say I enjoy the cookie cutter look of suburbia. For whatever reason, just really enjoyed the walk downtown. (Plus we found the secret, if willing to walk a few blocks - plenty of free parking).

& yes, the weather was divine. Just so perfect for an August night (usually would be much hotter). So we just had a very pleasant walk.

Dh and I made a mental note to return downtown on some other second saturday and check out the art galleries. Would be a very pleasant date night.

Read an article today as well how the music scene was exploding along with the art walk. So that is something WE would really enjoy. (More into music than art, but both are enjoyable). I just had no idea.

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When we got home last night I realized we had not turned the air on all day.

An August day with no A/C?????

No Way!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was short lived. It was hot upstairs so I opened the windows to cool off the upstairs. Worked better in the front than the back.

I fell asleep with the fan on and window open, but dh closed the window. So when I woke up I was melting. It was like 2am and the fan was on. I wondered how much energy we were really saving since the fan had been on 4 hours (Assumed dh would have turned it off when I fell asleep). Plus, it was still a million degrees. So I flipped on the A/c for a good half hour and cooled off.

I think, since I am unwilling to leave the windows open all night (just too unsafe) that the A/C probably is the best bet. We usually flip it on for like half hour before bed and it keeps it cool enough for the night.

I was trying to be more energy conscious, but I think my plan backfired.

It was one of those days where it didn't start to swelter inside until it had completely cooled outside and we were able to prolong the A/C until bedtime. So if we can work on that, it's something.

The house itself usually stays cool enough that we generally don't flip on the A/C until dinner time. When you start cooking you suddenly notice how hot it is getting. So we flip it on downstairs for a couple of hours. Then before bed we flip it on upstairs for a good half hour to cool it off. As the air cools off outside it usually stays comfortable through the night. Except for really horrible nights where sometimes I flip in the air when I wake up melting at 2am. I think last night was that night simply because we had not turned on the air at all. It was a rather cool night otherwise.

When everyone wonders why we don't have $500 summer electric bills, that is why. Because the AC runs only a couple of hours a day. The house keeps cool through many other means besides the air, for sure. It's rare that there is a day/week so hot that we have to crank the A/C on for hours at a time.

We just haven't been getting out much for whatever reason.

Can't blame the weather - the weather has been nice. This is the first summer since we have lived here that I don't hate every day. Dh was just telling me today I am just getting used to it. True, getting used to it, but only 2 weeks over 100 degrees is some new record if you ask me. I think the weather has been more average this summer (local average). But it has been terribly hot the last few years.

Our electric bill shows it too. Down, down, down.

& July was actually rather pleasant!!!!!

------------------------

We went out to the track (BM ran a few laps - like a kid on Christmas day) and stopped by the park. It was actually rather cold. !!

------------------------

After all that running BM Was starved when we got home, but he hadn't eaten much dinner and so dh told him that was it. We don't make our kids eat what they don't like, but if they don't eat dinner they get little else (why they are good eaters overall).

So dh had lectured BM when he didn't eat his dinner, but he was ravenous of course later.

I looked in the fridge and decided I would cave for some of the fresh veggies we had.

I pulled out the lemon cucumbers. Had never tried them but heard they were good.

Divine!!!!

We cut them up, salted them, and I actually liked them.

There is something to this fresh food thing, for sure.

We devoured our 2 lemon cucumbers rather quickly, so we hit the peaches. I am also not a huge peach fan, but these are good.

The pears are long gone.

We still got some eggplant, squash, peppers and cucumbers.

We should have sliced up the peppers and added them to our potatoes the other night. !

Anyway, so far so good. If nothing else, getting me to try and commit to some new foods. Variety in the diet...

-----------------------------

Today was a sad day. I sold my lava lamp.

Actually, it's my first Craigslist sell all month (yeesh!!!). But I s'posedly have 2 people coming over tomorrow to look at a couple of things.

Anyway, I bought it when I Was a teen and has gathered dust mostly since. I decided to be rid of it since it is kind of a fire hazard anyway. (& never gets used. But makes me nervous to use it, all the same).

Some guy picked it up in a motorcycle. "Good Luck with That," I thought. LOL. Wonder if it made it in one piece.

Dh sold a game system today. Was offered $15 less than the "higher" price he posted (we always start high and see what we can get). But also gave him 2 movie tickets. Yay!

(Probably would have taken the offer regardless. But was a nice touch).

He has been offered some really weird trades though. Just desparate cashless people. (Desparate for Wiis and such). But this was a good trade.

LM is with grandma for a couple of days and so we figure we might take advantage of paying much less for a babysitter, and having a free movie to watch.

If only there were any we wanted to see (can't see a new release with these tix - only catch).

Oh yes, and BTW, HATED Dark Knight. So not sure I want to waste another 2 hours of my life. Wasted 2 hours last weekend.

Blah.

------------------------

We haven't really firmed up any plans for the weekend. But I will probably go to aerobics in the a.m. tomorrow.

There is a fundraiser tomorrow morning as well because some nearby playground has been burned down to the ground twice (rebuilt once). They are having a pancake breakfast we will try to make (if not, will just donate).

What is wrong with people??????

Glad the residents aren't putting up with it. Rebuild rebuild rebuild (& hopefully cameras installed this time). Never been to the playground, don't know where it is. Am just PEEVED.

For lunch we have a BBQ to go for BM's new school.

Dh figured we'd take a date in the afternoon since we'd only have to pay for 1 at childcare. We may just enjoy peace and quiet at home. Maybe a free movie.

I hadn't thought much about it but just occurred to me we should go on a hike since we don't have LM. !! Just been in such a penny pinching mode (As everything falls apart around us) to think much about leisure. But we will try to go on a hike on Sunday. But for the gas, it shouldn't really cost much. (Not that gas is cheap!).

Then dh has to drive and pick up LM.

We have been doing the half way thing and no gas cash this round. Which is kind of a bummer because I honestly rather not be driving the kids all over tarnation - and the weekends is generally MY time with them. But whatever. Dh was running a bit late today when his mom called and said she was running even later. So he said he just slowed down and drove 55-60 with the trucks (drafting a bit) all the way to drop off LM at noon.

His car usually gets about 40mpg on these big freeway trips so not sure why he'd bother, but hey, kudos for him.

He peeved me last time we drove from San Jose. It just seemed to be taking forever and I didn't realize until the end he was driving on the slower end. Speed limit is 70mph. & I didn't want to spend another 20 minutes on the road I didn't have to. But when I am not in the car - kudos I guess.

Most people would say I am extremely patient. But no, I do not have the patience to drive 1-2 hours at 55-60. No way!!! Not much of a speeder, but when the speed limit is 70, I ain't going 65. For sure.

I also would probably see my life flash before my eyes (with the crazy drivers). I didn't quite understand until dh mentioned he just drove with the trucks. I was thinking, "How do you drive 55 and not get killed?"

Which is its own issue. In his little subcompact, I honestly try to stay the hell away from the semis. They are rather intimidating. I prefer to be in another lane.

But if it works for him...

We argued semantics because he said he wasn't drafting because he stayed back. But as I recall, the benefits of drafting were still there, even if you hung back a bit. I figured if he was in the "truck" lane, he got some pretty decent gas mileage. We'll see!

(Just wanted to clarify he wasn't tailgating trucks. )

The credit card is already up to $1200 and it is only the 5th day of the fiscal month.

!!!!!

Just charged $200 for old medical expenses, $300 for the fridge repair, and $300 for computer parts.

Oh yes, and $400 for airfare (to be reimbursed). I forgot about that - is something.

Anyway, I guess the good is we haven't bought anything else. !!

Only $27 of groceries are showing through. (Have bought some gas and groceries since - just hasn't recorded yet).

It's going to be a LONG month.

----------------------------

However, dh got called in for a $100 focus group next week. !!!!!

Yay!!!!!!!!!

$50/hour - is not half bad.

It's during the day, but we'll make it work. Even daycare would make it worthwhile.

Now that I think about it, LM will be at daycare and BM is at an age he can sit quietly while I work. Just bring his games - so I may try something like that. & it is also during the lunch hour.

Anyway, dh said he had about $300 cash he was willing to give up from his used game "business." Would give him some cash to keep.

& now this $100.

So he's come up with $400 for the computer.

I don't think he will spend more than $700. So $300 from the budget, at most.

He's bought a few parts with some rebates as well. So hopefully when the rebates come, we can replenish savings a bit.

I may drain my mid-term savings to $2500. Kind of sucks, but could be SO much worse.

Also, we will hit our $250 credit card reward much sooner. We have been racking up more rewards with shifting so much of our medical expenses to the card (with the HDHP).

So that is kind of nice too.

IT's not the greatest year thus far, and I feel like we have a lot of catching up to do.

But I can't help but think as I read the forums AND talk to people around me in foreclosure-ville that there is not much to stress about here. With no debt and a decent amount of savings, this is a small blip we will move past quickly.

I don't say it to brag. I say it to be motivating to those who are struggling. It can be much better. Save, save, save those pennies! & knock those ugly debts on their heads! You can do it!

I could feel sorry for myself and my move backwards, but it is hard to get too upset looking around me. That is for sure.

Last night around 9pm (thankfully it was only 9pm), the alarm went off at my office.

Which is just fine and dandy, except EVERYONE is on vacation and I am the highest one on the totem pole. (How sad!!!!).

So they call me and say alarm is ringing and police have been notified. Great.

It took about 15-20 minutes to pack up the fam and get over there. (Terrible area, would never go alone, and never thought I would get called - I am so low on the list).

The police never showed up and I wonder if they had even called. Or if they had checked the place and left. The alarm had been reset remotely it appeared, by the company.

So I expected a little more excitement.

But was relieved not to see any damage, etc. !!! I checked the place the best I could in the dark. All the important rooms were locked and secured. No obvious broken windows (though it was too dark to really check out the back - I didn't have a key for the back, etc. anyway - doh).

But the alarm was on and everything looked fine. We returned home and I prayed we didn't get another call.

My boss lives a few blocks from the place so I told dh I had never heard anyone mention answering a false alarm, etc. BUT my boss maybe has answered a few and not made a big deal about it.

It bugs me that I have no idea what set it off, though I believe in the past people and animals on the roof have set it off. That's all I can hope - that something was on the roof.

There's a lot of transients in the area that have broken in a few times, so I just kind of expected something like that - broken windows and such.

---------------------------------

Anyway, last night dh was on a cooking spree.

We made eggplant curry soup. YUM. When I got home the garage smelled like curry. LOL. It was strong...

http://www.farmfreshtoyou.com/recipes/eggplantsoup-9810.shtml

Not for the faint of heart. (VERY spicy).

Dh also made chicken strips, more for leftovers I guess - ?

& finally, bacon-cheddar-stuffed-potatoes.

Yum!

Don't have the recipe handy, but they were going to have a bake potato bar on the last day of camp and I was so bummed we missed it because LM fell ill and we decided to leave early in the morning. So dh told me he would make it up to me.

Indeed he did. I am sure it was a million calories but it was so good. It was actually a mostly microwave recipe. But SO good.

My body is probably in shock - all those fruits and veggies? It's in shock.

We'll see how much I can keep it up I guess.

Not much else exciting to report.

I was thinking of coming home at lunch today and going to aerobics class tonight.

I have really been terrible on the workout front, eating front, etc. So I have much to work on.

Mostly I am just hoping nothing else falls apart or goes crazy this week. A little too much excitement for my taste.

The latest quote to replace dh's computer: $500.

We'll see...

He did run to Fry's last night and picked up a Processor on sale. He grabbed it though he didn't know much about it - was a good deal. Figure he could return it if need be.

Anyway, looked it up and it was a little higher up than he had been planning to buy (Same price) BUT the reviews said the plus was that it was a low-energy usage component.

Maybe we'll save electricity too!

Will have lucked into that one...

---------------------------

Dh also said the funniest thing to me yesterday. He said, "I don't think there's hardly anything else I want."

I kind of laughed at him and teased him, which he didn't like. But whatevah. I am not convinced.

The thing about dh is it is true - he doesn't really have many material possessions. BUT the stuff he happens to like is technology. Which is ever changing and improving.

So in the same breath he did tell me he wanted to get a HD camera.

So yeah, he has everything he wants, but he wants to upgrade everything too.

Not entirely convinced.

But I'd be happy for him to prove me wrong!

---------------------------

Well, I actually signed up for a CSA - buying directly from a "local" farm. I say "local," because for all the farms in our backyard (we can literally walk to a few), the only CSA programs I found were a couple of hours away.

But this one delivers to our front door, and today is our first delivery.

Also, they have quite a few farm tours throughout the year, which I know the kids would LOVE.

It's not the best deal ever, but it is certainly not a cost-saving move. It is to try something new and to improve our diet. It will be $29 per delivery for about 10 pounds organic fruits/veggies per delivery.

So we are starting every other week to give it a whirl.

They have a package that is more fruit which I think would fit us more, but dh wanted to get the even fruit/veggie mix. We'll see... We can always change to the fruit if we find we don't use it enough.

Today we should get tomatoes, eggplant, grapes, squash, peaches, cucumbers, pears and peppers.

We don't eat a lot of eggplant or squash (or peaches for that matter). So we will have to try some new recipes. But I am all in. I will be eating some peaches this week, for sure.

I am terrible with eating fruits/veggies but I hear the stuff straight from the farm is just so divine. I will make an effort. Whatever dh cooks up with the eggplant or squash, I will eat.

Financially we are essentially trading in our diaper service for fresh produce service. The part of our budget that is more of an ecological statement, I guess. The part that says we will pay a little more to leave diapers out of the landfill or to support a local farm. (& yeah, the convenience is nice too).

Bah!!!!!

Hey, are you all sending me thoughts, prayer, vibes or whatever for my new car?

I think you may be, because everything else is falling apart. I always notice when something good happens, something bad happens, the yin and the yang.

So that is what I am holding out hope for. LOL.

Is it worth winning maybe one of the $1k prizes if I have to shell out $1k in repairs this week? Maybe not. Bah.

-----------------------------------

It started Saturday. I thought our HDTV was broken (barely a year new). I am QUITE relieved to say it was the TV station (CNBC and MSNBC). But holy cow, I almost had a heart attack. I was drifting off to sleep watching CNBC (Suze of course) when I noticed a missing square on the TV screen. I knew it was bigger than a pixel and seemed kind of odd, but the worst was running through my mind.

Changed the channel and looked at older episodes of Suze, and it was gone.

I told dh later and he knew exactly what I Was talking about. Said MSNBC had given him the same heart attack just the other day. But it was definitely not on our end. Phew!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, so, phew, saved by the bell.

But Sunday, dh got some ice cream out of the freezer and it was mushy. Freezer broken!

We ended up just calling Sears out. They tried to sell some extended warranty thing for $250 and I just rolled my eyes. The freezer was cutting in and out, I was sure it was probably something simple.

Anyway, dh was in a panic and I told him just to chill out and call Sears. Yeesh. He was convinced we needed a new fridge!

Wouldn't you know, it cost $250 to fix. Buggers. But it was just the filter had never been cleaned. They recommended once every 3 months and showed dh how to clean it. I think once a year will suffice. (It took over 6 years to give out). A fuse had also blown, so it was more than just the filter.

The guy tried to sell another extended warranty thing to dh. Dh said no and the guy said, "Yeah, I wouldn't bother. Kenmores never have problems."

Well, duh.

So my PSA of the day is clean the filter on your fridge...

(Also cost us a freezer full of food - luckily really not much in there. Some chicken butter, and veggies. & ice cream that was almost gone anyway).

Anyway, we were coming into our super frugal no-spend August, because the last few months have just been a little too spendy. & this is how it starts. !!!

All of this would be fine except dh calls me later and I don't hear anything. I tried to call back and he didn't answer. I wonder if the kids are playing with his cell phone or what. Or if he was in some terrible accident trying to reach me (I assume the worst of course).

What is going on??????????

I finally reach him and he is grumbling that his blue tooth is no longer working on his phone. (He realizes as he is trying to call me).

Okay, no biggie. He just bought it and he can take it back. But annoying all the same.

But the reason he called me is because his computer DIED. Dead as a doornail.

Ugh!

I am cursing myself for jinxing it. It is the computer we leave on most of the day and I Was quite adamant in the forums that we have never had a computer die on us. (We never have, we still have the computers we used in college - for the kids to use and other uses). But we have replaced the power supplies a million times, so I would much rather leave the computer on than turn it on and off too much. Personally.

Oh yeah, was that the jinx of the century. This computer is about 4 years old I would guess? One of our newer ones, for sure.

Dh bought a power supply because it wouldn't even start, and that is the usual repair - have done it a few times on our other computers.

BUT that wasn't it. He had told me when I got home it was fine unless it was the motherboard.

HE eventually diagnosed it as the motherboard. UGh!

Of course, he first postulated he could rebuild another computer for a mere $200 since he wasn't quite ready to upgrade all the other parts. He built this one. But then he remembers he needs buy an OS. Okay, maybe $350, For a new notherboard/processor and Windown Vista or whatever.

Last I heard he may spend $600. We'll see...

Of course, I looked at the bright side. I know he has been chomping at the bit to upgrade his big editing system. So I said, just upgrade it and move your old one down here. It's the logical choice. & he says, no, he's not ready to upgrade.

Whatever. Will save me six figures then. LOL. (It's all I hear about - I need a new computer!!!! But given the opportunity, no he doesn't want one. I don't understand).

Anyway, I know it's a PITA and has thwarted all my Craigslist selling indefinitely because that computer had my e-mail and Craigslist postings and pictures, etc. I feel jinxed on the Craigslist side. I knew I should have used one of my other e-mails. Bah! I had some interested e-mails that are lost in space. At least future ones will get through.

& yes, though it will be a huge PITA for dh to fix and all, he was just going on and on last night.

Seriously, we have 3 other up and running computers. I think he will survive. I kind of roll my eyes on some level. At least it wasn't our only working computer.

Anyway, Murphy has done a job over here, but it's hard to get too worked up. Dh has been making some decent side money, and for the first time since like 2005, I actually have a savings fund for this kind of stuff. I would prefer to move forward at a faster clip, to make up for lost time. But I have about $3200 in there now. Plenty to fix the fridge and replace a computer. We haven't really had anything give up on use since we had kids and cut our income way down. All I can think of is out washer which was 30years+ old anyway. So I think if this was one month sooner I'd be a bit more panicked. But I know we've had quite a lucky streak all the same.

I just hope Murphy is done for this round.

--------------------------------

Oh, the only other thing around here is I am not sure I shared the monster fight I had with dh. He actually hung up on me on the phone. LOL. Yeah, I Can laugh about it now. I honestly think that was a first.

He went to deposit the kids' birthday money in our account (as we always do) so we could transfer it (electronic transfer) into their mutual funds. This was like a month ago.

Anyway, dh called me to tell me they wouldn't take the checks ("third party") and that he was going to open accounts for them. I started griping that was ridiculous since they would charge fees and give miserable interest and I didn't like the idea. I just wanted to put it in their mutual fund.

Anyway, dh got all pissed like I didn't think he knew what he was doing and he hung up on me. !!!!!!!!!!

We talked it out but I realized there are certain things we will NEVER discuss again. I brought up his wonderful bank account with the crazy minimium and how he kept getting $50 fees for dropping under the minimum. He still to this day is annoyed we have a 0% checking account, and I roll my eyes at his 0.5% checking account that needed a $1 minimum and was routinely hit with $50 fees. So I brought that up and that was the hot button that caused him to hang up on me.

Yeah, something I will never mention again. Yeesh! (But I am right - you understand!!!)

Dh also tells me he is annoyed I locked up all the kids' money for college.

Huh? I told him it was in a UGMA mutual fund where it would actually GROW, but they could use it for whatever the hell they want. That's the point.

So, oh boy, we obviously have some communication issues. I guess he thought it was all locked up in a college fund. We rather see eye to eye on that one since neither of us spent much at all for college. But for whatever reason since I call it a "college fund" he thinks it can only be used for college. More just a term I use for their long-term savings. At this point, yeah, most of it is for college. What else are they going to need it for in the next few years????? But if they want to use it on a car or house, whatever. That's why I didn't put it in a 529.

So, there is a point to this story.

We tried to open these savings accounts for the kids multiple times and each time have had a brick wall. We need to bring x,y, and z. Oy vey. IT's easier to get a passport.

so dh made the trek yesterday for another attempt, BM in tow (thought he may enjoy the process).

Anyway, so dh called to tell me that the deed was done, and I log online to look at all those lovely accounts. After our fight dh had assured us there was NO FEES. Whatsoever. I said, yeah, they'll stick you somehow. & dh thought I was insulting him. I told him I would never argue with him over TV setup so why is he arguing with me in my area of expertise? LOL.

So I log on yesterday and their accounts have $44 instead of $45.

Dh failed to mention the fee they stuck him with. LOL.

So I am like, um, was there a $1 fee? He's like, "Yeah, yeah, I don't want to talk about it."

LOL.

It was just funny.

I was right, but I Can live with $1. It is a CU after all. The bank would be much worse.

But this is the point I tried to make to dh all along.

The nice thing is now we can transfer the money to our account, and then into their mutual fund.

Hallelujah. What a lot of PITA for that. Geez. But it's all set up now, the fee is paid, and life moves on. (Doesn't seem to be any other fees so we'll survive).

I don't care if BM wants to keep some money in there, but I think LM hardly needs $44. (He's 3 - what is he going to buy?) So I will try to convince dh to let me transfer that to his mutual fund. We still have some talking to do about it all.

But yeah, about the biggest fight we ever had - & what a stupid fight it was.

I asked earlier (I got the idea from Paulette, as far as new job vibes). To send me vibes for a contest.

My CU is having a 75th Anniversary contest and they have about 160 prizes. (10 being brand new cars!)

Their was one entry allowed per person. (But multiple per household - yay). So though I think 2 new cars would be even better, I don't exactly want to be greedy either. Though maybe dh can win a lesser prize too.

LOL.

Anyway, send me those vibes. The drawing is tomorrow.

I keep telling dh I am gonna win a car and he keeps rolling his eyes.

I just don't think I will ever enter a contest with such good odds again.

I had to submit a crossword puzzle, and it was a little hard. I can't imagine that many people bothered - it was a rather short time frame for the contest.

I mean, what were there, 1000 entries?

We'll see. Maybe I am way off!

The prizes of $1000 IRAs or $100 gift certificates aren't half bad either. I just want to win something/anything.

But hey, send me vibes for a car.

2008 $20 challenge:

$3,512.00 - 7/1

100.00 - ROTH Contributions - August
77.00 - July Interest
------------------
$3,689.00 - Balance 8/1
------------------

One thing that has always struck me about my parents is that they have never spent much on cars.

2 exceptions.

They bought a brand new Toyota in 1981 or so. They've never bought a brand new car, before or since, but I don't think they regret it at all either. I ended up buying it from them when I was a teen and retired it when the engine gave out in 1999. The car got well enough use. (Almost 20 years. I would have driven it longer if it hadn't of just DIED one day. Well over 200k miles).

AND, my mom bought some really fancy car around 1997.

It was a car that was $50k brand new, but she found one a couple of years old for $20k.

Anyway, these were the car splurges my parents did over the years - one for each (the Toyota was my dads).

There's no other reason so obvious why they have been able to save so much over the years. They have never really spent much on cars. (I doubt any of their other cars cost more than $10k and they tend to drive them for a couple of decades).

So my mom tells me yesterday that she ran into a neighbor and my mom said, "Nice car!" I forgot what make she said it was, but something fancy.

They guy says, "Yeah, but it's OLD! It's an '05."

Pfffffffttttttt!!!!

Telling my family that an '05 is an OLD car? Puh-leeze.

My mom said, "Well my car (fancy as it is, mind you) is a 1995."

My mom said his jaw just dropped.

"Wow!!!"

Almost in a good way, like "I can't believe your nice car is 13 years old."

It actually looks rather modern.

-------------------------------

Of course, I notice this really in particular as a young person. You don't know how many people who have told me about their piece of crap 2000 or 2005 cars while I was driving a car from 1992.

I just roll my eyes.

Since we have 2 relatively new cars I haven't gotten it so much lately. (2001 & 2005 - might as well be brand spanking new to me).

But I am starting to notice this with the 2001 Ford. We have got about 90k miles on the Ford, and it seems like everyone I know is hitting 100k miles and freaking out. Time to buy a new car!!!!!

I'm just like thinking, are they kidding? This car is such a BABY to us.

Not planning on willingly trading up any time soon. No thanks. 5 more years at the least! (The car cost us a whopping $7888 in 2002. & it gets such stellar gas mileage it is going up in value all of a sudden. I wrote it off as worthless, suddenly it is worth $4k? So bizarre. Talk about a deal on a car. One of our better purchases, yes).

The 2005? I have 10 more years in mind (at the least). Since it is the newest car, by far, I have ever owned, I would have never thought of it as old.

I guess this is a warning that the old car comments are coming for the 2000 decade of cars. Yeesh. IT was kind of nice for a while not having all my friends insult me so indirectly. (So whoa is me with their "old" cars, while my car was a decade older).

---------------------------------

Reminds me of another funny car story.

My in-laws have an old Geo MEtro (1990 or something??????) that their niece gave to them when she retired it. I have no idea what the story is on that - just know they ended up with it (though had never seen them drive it - they already have 2 cars).

Maybe they are saving it as a gift for BM some day or something. Seriously. They are kind of weird like that. LOL. (Whereas I'd sell it and invest the proceeds so I could buy a nicer car in 11 years when he turns 16. They are the types to save something for 16 years, yes).

I am kind of kidding, but as I said it, I start to wonder. LOL.

Anyway, I guess FIL has taken to driving it a bit more with gas prices (I didn't even know it still run!)

So some random guy asked him if he would trade his little old Geo Metro (teeny-tiny car) for his SUV. LOL. He was total serious - gave him an offer in the parking lot.

Honestly, it probably would have been a good trade. I am sure the SUV was worth far more than the car. Could have sold it perhaps?

Will never know I guess.

It is just amazing to me. How many people I know who wouldn't get caught dead in anything but a SUV? Now reduced to such desperation.

Kind of sad really.

But yeah, not really feeling very sorry for them either. Hehe. It's nice to see some sanity return to the masses. Then again I still can't believe people are going so extreme. (It really is the desperation). From the SUVs to public transit. & little Geo Metros. I never would have guessed it. So bizarre.

& it is extra bizarre to have so many people who thought we were just cheap suddenly jealous of our little Ford subcompact. LOL. People are just so weird.

We've been enjoying a bit too much so am keeping it low key this weekend.

Tonight we went to a local park for the unveiling of their yellow brick road. We bought a brick last year with the kids' names engraved. They are just starting construction.

It was CROWDED, but they had an awesome spread. We had beef, corn on the cob, salad, hot dogs, etc. After the line thinned out dh went back for seconds. So we made out well. (Couldn't let that food go to waste anyway. I was actually surprised they had enough food, with some to spare).

They also had a cute little puppet show.

That was a good start to our attempt at a no-spend weekend.

BM is with grandma so dh will have to pick him up Sunday, and did buy gas today.

I think somehow I got out of the loop. Grandma always asks to keep the kids way too many days and I always say no. I was so busy with work I just didn't get very involved in the arrangements. Next thing I know BM will be gone about 90 hours. How the heck did that happen?

Oh well, I will try to enjoy the peace.

Next time I will pay more attention.

Of course, if I want him back Saturday, I have to say Friday. She always comes up with an excuse. Dh told me Sunday morning and she told me sunday night. Whatever. Soon enough he starts school and won't have endless days to spend with Grandma. & when the kids are older and she takes them both for a time, I don't think we'll complain.

We'll go through this next weekend with LM though. She's taking him next Friday or something. I should demand him home Saturday, to be on the safe side...

The weekend is my time for my babies. But it is nice to get more one-on-one time with them.

Anyway, tomorrow I will probably go to aerobics and dh has a long volunteer shift.

Sunday we'll probably go swimming and may get a free meal when we pick up BM. Another perk.

Gas usage will be high, but don't plan to spend any cash this weekend.

The credit card closes Sunday night and we have no more money to spend - so why we are heavy on the no-spend weekend. Which is fine. We have been enjoying a bit too much lately.

------------------------------

We have our new e-mail set up and I put a lot of stuff up on Craigslist that I Was shocked to get NO responses on. I wondered in the back of my head, all along, if something was wrong with my e-mail. But a couple of interested parties did get through (though I made NO sales).

Anyway, my gut was right. Should have trusted the gut.

Anyway, yesterday I forwarded a paypal notification to dh from my ymail account, and happened to tell him over the phone, and he said he never got it. So I sent it again, and to my home e-mail. Never came through.

So dh called AT&T today and turns out the standard setting on the spam filter was high. It was so high that if dh e-mailed people and they wrote back it would go to the spam file (lost in space). !!!!!!!!!!!

Lord knows how many lost Craigslist sales we both had with that crap.

I feel better though. It explains MUCH. Dh uses another e-mail to post on Craigslist but said he generally replies to them using the ATT account. & many never got back to him.

I can't help but wonder how much more money he would have made this last month if his e-mail was actually functioning properly.

& me too!!!!!

I couldn't understand why no one would buy our strollers. I was wondering what the heck we would do with them.

Yeesh.

--------------------------------------

As far as insurance, I generally do not shop around for insurance. I have had the same insurance since I was 16, (auto and home) and I have shopped around a couple of times.

I feel strongly there is more to an insurance company than good rates. (For sure). But I also have a strong loyalty to my company because it has always been the cheapest of any company I would consider. (Not that I shop OFTEN, but have a few times).

So I barely even bother anymore. I am one loyal customer.

We actually have State Farm, but they treat their long-time customers with multiple lines, rather well. People always have told me they are so expensive, but they shopping around proves otherwise.

Anyway, but today I received a quote from Mercury mortgage. Not sure how I feel about them on the home front, but have heard good things on the auto front. Dh used to have them, but when we got married, State Farm won on price. We consolidated our insurance.

I got an e-mail from my professional association today that Mercury offered 10% off auto insurance to its members.

What the heck? That's what I thought. Sounded rather promising.

Anyway, so I entered a bunch of information, and after the 10% rate cut they offered me higher auto premiums than we already pay.

Bah.

They also offered a multi-line discount if we added our home. But my State Farm loyalty discount, on top of that, blew them out of the water.

State Farm it is.

In the process, when I was looking up some of the limits on our policies, I noticed our auto insurance is going down again. My car insurance is due in a couple of months and they had already calculated it. 3% discount over last time. Woohoo.

So I did my good duty and shopped around a bit. But you can see why I rarely bother...

------------------------------

Well, wish us luck, but I think we are DONE with diapers.

LM has been doing amazingly well 24/7. Not that I expected it at all, but both kids just migrated to meeting this milestone at 3. Exactly 3.

LM hasn't soiled a diaper since his birthday 3 weeks ago. So dh told him if he made it through the 31st we would switch him to underwear at bedtime, and take down the safety gate from his doorway. (So he is free to use the potty at night).

He made that milestone today. Took down the gate. IT was a big day for him.

Not that we have been buying much diapers anyway, in recent months. But this is really quite a milestone.

I will be happy if I never see another diaper again.

We had the diaper service so long, at $50/month, that it is just really nice to be rid of that expense. & though we have mostly been using disposables this year, and not spending much more than $20/month, it's just one less thing to buy.

Of course, there are plenty of other things the kids need, and where that money will go. There always is. More food. More education stuff. More dental care. Always something...

But I think officially our lives got a little simpler. Anyone with babies dreams of this day, right? LOL.

In 2006 the median monthly mortgage payment was $2291. (In Sacramento).

!!

Egads.

On one hand, I am not surprised. I remember marveling at the fliers when our neighbors sold their homes in 2004 - 2006.

"All this yours, for a mere $3k/month."

!!!

& I certainly know a lot of people in the area, with bigger mortgage payments.

But when I think to shortly before we moved here I think of house payments in the maybe $800 range. (I still can't get over how dh's cousin paid a mere $100k for his 4-bedroom home here, in 1999. If only we were 2 years older - our house would be paid off).

I saw some statistic somewhere, that I can't find now, that the median mortgage payment was about $1100 in 2000.

I am surprised it was that much. But the median can be hard to measure at face value. $1100 seems fair.

So that's 110% increase or so, in 6 years???

I will be curious to see where that median figure settles, once all the dust settles.

Maybe in the $1500 range.

The foreclosure rate is something like 100% for people who paid above a certain threshold for their home (over $475k in our neighborhood - every single last one fell. Though some had paid up to $650k).

I imagine all those foreclosures have got to bring down the median a lot!

Our mortgage was in line with the median when we bought, but since we have never increased our loan amount or interest rate, well, we can brag our payment is 50% of the median today.

Though it doesn't exactly mean much.

Then again, we could have maybe stomached a $300k mortgage or so - that was always rather our limit. If we had been looking at houses here in 2005 we just would have rolled our eyes. No thanks! Those were the kind of prices we were running from.

I was just thinking the other day that if we had a crystal ball we could have sold our house in 2005 for the realm of $650k (boy were we close to selling it anyway). & then if we got home sick or whatever we could have just moved back and scooped up the same house early this year for $350k again. Just waited for it to foreclose...

That would have been pretty sweet. Hell, we could have paid cash.

If only we knew.

I do know a lot of people who fled up north in 2004 - 2006. I haven't heard of them swooping in and buying back their houses at a fraction of the cost. Though I wouldn't be surprised if there is somewhat of a phenomenon of people moving back with prices settling so low again.

Then again, maybe they just move on. We have talked much about if we would move back home if it were suddenly more affordable. The decided decision is "hell no," but I must admit that comes with a fair amount of certainty that the area will never be near what we consider "affordable." I do admit closer proximity to family would give us second thoughts. But seems to nearly impossible, why even think about it.

But people who fled Sacramento at the peak clearly have that luxury to return. IF they wanted to.

It will be interesting to see how it unfolds.

I was invited to Poland!

Something I will have to think about. I am not really much into traveling so I admit mostly I will probably wuss out. Then again, if I can talk my friend into going with me... The idea of traveling to a very foreign country alone is just a little daunting to me. Doesn't sound very fun.

But I have a friend there for about a year and just invited me to visit and stay for free.

An interesting offer.

For now air fare looks in the range of $2k.

!!

So I was just thinking to myself, eh, it's not on my list of places to travel. BUT if I have some windfall between now and then (next summer) I will take it as a sign. & I will kind of leave it at that. Many other things I rather put my money towards, but if I have some extra, it is an opportunity to strongly consider.

& maybe I can find some more reasonable travel arrangements - just what I saw on first glance.

We also need to save our pennies for Hong Kong! Dh's aunt lived there many years and is returning in the near future. I know it will be a wonderful opportunity to take the kids. (Dh was able to go as a kid and had a wonderful adventure there).

My adult life of travel is so night and day how it was as a child. My parents never traveled much before my dad made a very good friend with someone in Japan. (Now he travels often to visit, and really enjoys Japan). A lot of my friends traveled Europe in college but I Was too busy working and paying my bills.

But no matter, I have seemed to catch up enough. In adulthood my parents took me to Europe and Japan. & Hong Kong and Poland are on my horizon now! I think I am feeling more brave after my trip to Japan. So it feels rather unlike me. I guess I am usually a little too practical too. But suddenly the thought of Poland sounds rather adventurous and fun. What the heck?

Though practical Monkey Mama has other financial goals to tackle first. & since I am not really huge on travel I am not going to cry if I miss the opportunity now. (There will always be others).

--------------------------------

Last night dh dug out some old rare coins he had kept. None of them are worth very much (we looked up a few last night) but he had his coins stored with his old concert tickets. Like every concert he had ever been to.

It's kind of funny because when we were teens we both learned to manage our money when it came to tapes and CDs and the like. I found an old journal where I bought insanely cheap music on a weekly basis with my dad. It was our thing. But really how I learned to manage money.

Once college hit I could no longer afford CDs. They just went through the roof and I didn't have the budget. I buy one occasionally now. VERy occasionally. & I roll my eyes when music artists gripe about napster and the like. Give us some affordable options and I would gladly buy more music, but it has just gone through the roof rather quickly. (Though the MP3 thing is a step in the right direction - we buy a decent amount of MP3s).

& of course we feel much the same way about concerts. Somewhere between dropping to one income and having kids, concerts have become completely unaffordable.

Occasionally we will price a concert, and then cringe. Say, nevermind. It's something I have noticed over the years, but thought it could be somewhat us.

BUT I do remember when I was a very broke, struggling college student, going to many many many concerts. So it kind of puts it in perspective.

So yesterday dh found all these concert tickets and starts reading them off. He was laughing because we were going to concerts like every weekend for a time - sometimes 2.

So it hit me. I asked him if the prices were on the tickets.

Um, yes. 1996 - most were under $10.

!!!!!!!

$20 for the BIG names. He had one $25 ticket and a $36 ticket for Lollapalooza.

The rest were in the $9 - $20 range.

Seriously!

We tried to buy a ticket for some show recently where the tickets were something like $15 each, but the fees to buy the ticket were $20 each. I think that was the last straw for us.

Whatevah!

So now I remember why I could afford to go to 4 concerts in a month when I was broke, and why now that we maybe make 3 times the income, combined, we can't even justify the cost more than maybe once a year.

Bah to the music industry.

There's some inflation factor there but most of the tickets had been purchased 10 years ago. Inflation has not risen that much, overall.

I can't help but wonder if the overall debt nation has contributed as well. Who buys these tickets? Who can afford the $75/pop for nosebleeds at a so-so concert (with all the fees and everything)?

Oh well, I won't sweat it. We certainly have other priorities these days. But it was really interesting to see all those ticket prices. Kind of what I had been feeling, but was nice to see my memory was correct.

It's kind of a bummer though because though we would love to take the kids to some more benign concerts (maybe when they are older) I think it's rather out of the question with modern prices. It will be more rare than common, which is too bad for this musical family.

In the forums I just answered a question on the topic, but figured I'd post here too.

Annually we use 303 therms of gas. For the past year we paid $437.

Annually we use 5473 KWh of electricity. For the past year we paid $605.

Average = $87/month total.

I figured I'd update since I had even better numbers to share before, and then we learned our electric meter was
"off." LOL. Not so well as we though.

But still, over a year later, nothing to get worked up about.

In addition to that we contribute $5/month to a Green energy program (through our utility).

I don't like PGE's programs, but we have a city-owned electric company that has made much more progress with green energy - so I contribute through them.

We have 2600 square feet, someone is always home, and no we don't sacrifice COMFORT when it comes to hot water or air temperature. Though our 68 degrees in the winter and 80 degrees in the summer may be a bit conservative to some, we find it very comfortable.

& I LOVE HOT water - LOL. We are a bit of hot water hogs.

I had to share because AGAIN - just last week - someone asked me if our bills were $500 in the summer.

We do have a large home, yes. No, I have never had a bill near $500. OMG!

I found out a couple of years ago that my MIL Was lamenting to everyone about our gigantic utility bills. (She never bothered to ask). Funny enough, I found out because I always bragged to my mom about how low are bills are. Sometimes I will get a $5 gas bill in the summer. & of course I have to brag to my mom.

So, one day my MIL said in front of my mom about us poor kids and our hundreds of dollars in monthly utilities. My mom was like, huh? LOL.

I never set MIL straight - whatevah. She still never bothered to ask us. Just assumptions.

But it really annoys me about the stereotype of larger homes. So I set it straight every chance I get. (Well, except with MIL because I think that whole thing is kind of funny. Though if she ever said anything like that to my face...)

Did I mentioned how energy efficient newer homes were? With energy efficient appliances???

I've already said it before, but I will say it again. Since we moved somewhere with a considerably lower COL, our insurance, property taxes, and everything are the same (if not cheaper) in our current home than they were in our old condo in the Bay Area.

The utilities were the icing on the cake. Lower!!! Twice the space, and way lower utility bills.

So yeah, I know a lot of people think at face value that our home is not very financially sound. But it costs little more, in every way shape and form,than a condo half the size did, back home. Eh.

You could argue we put too many of our eggs in the house bucket in our 20s, but I have no regrets. Doing so, for one, means we aren't in the mess most of our fellow young Californians are in. (We put a lot of cash down but refused to pay $600k for a home, all the same).

But even as housing tumbles and rents are rocky, we still pay far less for our home than it would be to rent something comparable (always have).

So there is a large measure of method to our madness.

BUT, I am pleased to report that I was glancing at my net worth schedule, and as of July we have only $1k more in cash equity in our house than we have in cash and investments.

!!

Which means, by the end of the year, we should have more cash/investments that cash paid on our home.

I think that is an interesting milestone. For the longest time it seemed most of our assets went to our home... We saved dh's salary for years, to pay off as much as we have.

It runs something like $91k in investments and $92k cash paid on home. Today.

For the long run, I expect our investments to blow the mortgage out of the water. I am only 30. (TIME is most definitely on our side).

You could argue if we should have paid down more aggressively, or invested more instead, but I am VERY happy with this balance. I think we did the right amount of both.

I am also pretty darn close to hitting six figures in my savings and retirement, which is another neat milestone.

But anyway, though we felt it was important to load up the house basket while we were young, I am glad to move past that. I didn't want all my net worth made up of equity, forever. Though there is little I can do as far as equity equity. If it wants to stay super high, I won't stress that my investments are less. Worse problems to have. (We still probably have a solid $150k of equity in our home, today. But for measuring purposes I am more concerned what we paid on the home, particularly since there is a risk the value of our home will fall significantly more).

P.S. I do look REALLY forward to when my mortgage balance is LESS than my investments. Have a ways to go on that one...

-----------------------------

July is VERY spendy!!!! Ugh...

$85 to school for supplies/field trips
$100 on uniforms/backpack/start up costs
$105 Indian cooking lessons
$110 Swim Lessons
$75 new cell phone (rebate to come)
$30 Hands free head set (new law)
$200 Birthday Party
$100 Car Repair
--------
$805

These are all under the Misc. category which I usually budget something like $150 for.

The rest would be covered under short-term savings (birthdays, car repairs and such) but it seems like I have been pulling more out than I have been putting in lately.

All this would be fine, for one month, but I have some potential, very unexpected, dental bills for BM. Ugh!

So I am feeling the pinch this month.

I was really looking forward to saving $200 this month - portion of preschool savings. But I have decided to put that savings off one more month. For Kindergarten start up costs. (I did divert $100/month to the short-term fund for this kind of stuff, so will be prepared next year. Just not prepared coming immediately off pricey preschool/daycare).

I keep telling myself that the extra $3600/year will help. I just have to give it some time to build. (No plans but to save it all).

Also, I am eyeing the medical deductible fund, as far as dental expenses, to ease my financial stress level. Our HMO is terribly slow to bill, and though I am quite sure we will hit our full deductible (murphy's law of course), it isn't set in stone. There may be some extra cash there. In the meantime there is plenty of float. The $1k cash I have should cover the dental.

These are the budget gymnastics I am going through to make July work.

Dh's extra money has helped much though. I don't want to rely on it, but it helps in a crazy month like this.

Extra money to the ROTHs? Yeesh. One of these days...

This was, thankfully, an extraordinarily spendy month. Not the norm! It just feels a little overwhelming.

I am ready for a slow/calm spend month. Here's to August.

Yesterday we ate very cheaply.

My parents picked up a pile of bread products at the Day Old Bread Store. A whopping $2 for a giant bag of bread. The GOOD stuff. English muffins, dinner rolls, giant onion rolls, etc.

Anyway, they gave us a pile of it when we were last in San Jose.

(We need to find one of those - we have a wonder bread place but it is a bit out of the way).

Anyway, dh told me a little bit back he had some extra ground beef in the freezer if I wanted to use it for anything. So yesterday I figured a hamburger sounded mighty tasty, but knew I wouldn't get away with it while the kids ate other leftovers. LOL.

So I pulled 2 mini-hamburgers out for the kids, and saved myself a few calories I guess. I was thinking of the nice onion rolls we had from my parents (which were very fresh even 10 days later).

We also still had some dinner rolls, so I put the kids minnie hamburgers in those.

What a hit!

That was my cheap meal of the week since it was all leftover/free stuff.

Today I got a little letter from a mortgage broker about HELOC. How now is a good time to borrow up to 90% of my equity in the form of a HELOC.

Anyway, it said in various places in the letter that there were absolutely NO FEES.

In fact after one sentence how there was NO FEES, there was a sentence how there were minimal closing fees and an annual fee.

What are we? Idiots?

Puh-leez.

That's my interesting tidbit of the day.

(Yeah, this guy was recommended by a somewhat financially savvy friend - I didn't want the mortgage brokers who screwed over almost everyone I know. The guy seems nice enough but he really wants us to buy rental real estate. Good Lord. But yeah, the letter about no fees, when clearly there are lots of fees, is not a warm fuzzy for me).

P.S. My wallpaper at work is a gorgeous picture of Bryce Canyon, that my father shot. I had never been there or seen anything quite like that. I do notice now that I stare at it every day it's not so fascinating. LOL. But I usually cycle between pictures from my dad and pictures of the kids. Which says, my kids are #1! But sometimes my dad sends me an awesome picture.

I just booked a flight to Denver in September.

Finally talked my Grandma into letting me visit. My parents are going and though she has been very resistant to my family visiting too (just overwhelming) we finally talked her into BM & I visiting for a day while my parents are there.

So, yes, rather random and last minute. For the likes of me anyway.

The funny thing is I cringed at the thought of airfare and didn't think it was a terribly practical idea. But I discussed it with my mom today when she told me they had set dates for their drive to Denver.

LM and Dh can be difficult, cranky travelers. (So could I be, probably). But I thought the idea of just bringing BM along was rather refreshing. My mom agreed. & even more importantly, my Grandma did too!

I am not sure we were totally set on the idea. But she has never met my kids, her only grandchildren. I just felt it was important. For her to at least meet one of the kids.

My mom kept trying to talk me into driving and I told her either we couldn't justify it or I would prefer to pay a premium not to lose 2-3 days driving. (They wanted to take 2.5 days each way to drive). & though BM probably travels well enough, not so thrilled being crammed in a car with him 3 days.

So I took a deep breath and searched the airfare, expecting the worse.

Instead I found $200 round-trip, non-stop, door-to-door.

I didn't even look further. Nice airline. Convenient. I'm set!

My mom hates flying, so I Can't fault them for not even pricing airfare. (Though I can assure they will pay more for gas than our flight for 2 will cost).

BUT my MIL is also going to Denver in September. She hates driving, but is driving.

I am just wondering if in general people are making driving arrangements for longer than usual, and not even pricing the airfare?

You could have blown me over when I saw how affordable our flight is.

So I Am rather excited about the whole thing.

What an adventure for BM.

I hope we don't regret not spending more time there, but this is probably really the best way to do it.

We're flying in a Wednesday late afternoon and will be back Friday morning.

My parents of course INSIST on paying everything, but I Was just very pleased to find travel arrangements even I Could both stomach and afford. It would have been hard for me to accept something like $1k for airfare. Instead they will probably pick us up at the airport, and pay the $600 or so for flight and room.

I am pleased to say I would have gone and paid my own way, regardless. Though the help is nice, self sufficiency is nice too.

& instead of writing off airfare as some crazy insane thing we can never afford again, maybe I will price things once in a while.

Anyway, my friend just told me she was waiting for her 6 & 8-year-old to age and be better travelers. I kind of laughed ( she probably knows something I don't know). All I Could think today was what a breeze it should be to travel with BM now, as opposed to past years with diapers, bottle, baby car seats and the like. I guess we'll see how I feel after this trip, but the flight is only 2 hours. HE did well enough on the 6-hour+ drive to LA, and he is rather adaptable. I guess we'll see. Will go good or I will be like my friend, forever waiting, I guess.

I just pretty much refused to ever travel again with the kids while they needed kiddie car seats. The very portable booster seat I can handle. BM is amazingly mature for his age and I think he will be Fab travel companion.

In other news, I just wanted to share an interesting post from MMND. On How To Live a Resort-Type Lifestyle:

http://millionairemommynextdoor.blogspot.com/2008/07/how-to-...

Interesting to think about.

I just have one caveat to add. Well 2.

I am not so sold on the "renting is better" but we have only owned our home here a few years and rents are double our mortgage. (Was triple in expensive land - Bay Area). So though I understand how renting is often cheaper, I still can't wrap my brain around it. Nothing I have ever experienced. But it is California...

My second caveat is that once you get used to resort living, there really is no turning back. It sets the bar rather high, and with time you do kind of get bored with it. So for that reason it may not be so ideal.

But if it's affordable, then why the heck not?

I think we are rather pro resort living because we lived in a condo back home with a lot of amenities (as all we could afford, but we did get accustomed to the amenities). & then when we moved here in 2001, resort communities were all the rage. We went with new construction, which I am not sure existed without a resort sort of plan. So we just went with it. What the heck. The move meant our lifestyle went up tenfold while our expenses actually decreased a bit.

As such, I have never been particularly big on vacations. Like my own Fri-Sun thoughts, I think it is kind of pathetic to live for one week out of every year (or something along those lines). I know when we moved here we thought very much like we would be on vacation every day. OR every week. OR at least once a month.

But that is also where I come with the wise words that the novelty most certainly does wear off. I remember being giddy when we moved here, but now it's just kind of, eh. We see it every day. So I do appreciate the "novelty" of a vacation - keeps it fresh. (There is a psychology to the idea of "vacation").

The community we live in isn't particularly grand, but we have some nice public parks and tennis courts, etc. Three parks easily walkable for us.

We also have a private lake in our community, and a private clubhouse and pool.

We have homeowners fees, but they are quite small and actually have gone down with time (thus far). The lake is really the expensive part to maintain. So we'll see how that pans out in the long run.

One pool to maintain divided by 1000 homes? Pennies compared to owning our own pool. We luck out though in most of our neighbors don't take advantage of the pool or the lake. So we QUITE enjoy the peacefulness of both.

Anyway, it's not something I talk about much, but I feel we live a resort lifestyle in a sense. In addition, it's just a couple of hours drive to anything we would want to do in the state (beach, mountains, Tahoe, camping, hiking, etc.). & it is just a short walk to a fair amount of leisure (parks, pool, lake).

I also notice, too, living in an area where most people prefer to keep to themselves, the lake and pool do give us an area to connect with our neighbors. As does the homeowners association. So they are kind of nice perks in their own rights. We have actually made a few friends by the pool.

Anyway, dh and I so enjoyed condo living when we were young and childless that we have thought much of going back to condo living once the kids were grown. We figured we could probably downsize and simplify at that point.

We hadn't really thought much about where we would maybe downsize to. I guess we mostly figure that is so far in the future. We probably just want to settle where our parents settle, or our siblings. & who knows, for now. We get the feeling they all may leave the state eventually. (Too expensive!)

So I hadn't really thought about it, but MMND's post got me thinking. I think I would definitely push for a resort-type condo. Whether we rent or buy - depends on a lot of factors. We'll just have to see.

I just had to add too, I have seen the few articles about people who rent mansions on the beach for short bouts of time. You know, the ones who move every couple of months (what are they, house sitters maybe?)

Ugh. IT was kind of the same vein - live like a millionaire for pennies. BUT I couldn't take all that moving!

I think this is a more realistic way to achieve much of the same kind of goal.

**Dh got a new cell phone. $20 after rebates and all that stuff. It's NICE too. We generally buy the nicer phones with rebates and deals, since we prefer not to replace them every 2 years (the crappy freebies). In the past I would keep my cell phone 5 years, easy. BUT we may have to rethink that going forward. Technology just seems to be speeding along at warp speed. Where once I wouldn't mind holding to a cell phone 5 years, I Feel strangely out-dated (my phone having been bought exactly 3 years ago).

Well, I'll keep my eye out for a similar upgrade deal. In the meanwhile, I will survive.

**Dh and I had our lunch date at Round Table yesterday. BM tagged along. $12 for all-you-can eat for the 3 of us (with coupon). Not bad. DH and BM certainly ate their fair share!

**BM has his last private swim lesson today. We'll play it by ear. In 7 short lessons (will 6 down, 1 to go) he has gotten comfortable with dunking his head, jumping into the pool and swimming, and well, he can swim quite well.

I hope and assume his teacher will work with getting him to jump in the deep end and swim. He can certainly do it - he just needs the confidence.

In the meantime, he has no fear of the deep end otherwise. We were in our community pool over the weekend and someone challenged him to a race across the deep pool and he just took off (with his kickboard). I was like, "hold on, wait a minute, I do not know if I can save you if you fall off!!!" I am not so strong in the water and the pool was quite long. (Plus I had LM in my arms). But it was nice to see no fear there. He just needs to know he can jump in the deep end and swim just like he does in the shallow end.

So, I am pleased. Will probably take him practicing this weekend and see what we think. If we can just commit to practice a couple of times a week the rest of summer, and his skills don't slide, then I think that will suffice. May be ready for intermediate lessons next year. OR we can just resume private lessons again (even better).

$110 well spent!

**Work is crazy!! (Mostly why I have been MIA a bit). 7/31 is a big deadline for me.

**I am in love with Facebook.

I have been having so much fun over there. A friend invited me a while ago and this quickly led to a reunion with a childhood friend (last weekend). This week I stumbled upon two of my very best friends from middle school.

Anyway, it has just been very fun, and I think Facebook is 100 times better than MySpace.

I realize too I miss the diversity of my childhood friends. With age I hung around a lot more accountants (college, jobs). & moving to Sacramento I mostly hang around older, white accountants. LOL. It's just nice to experience a slice of that diversity again. It feels oddly comforting. None of my childhood friends are accountants. & yeah, it's refreshing to talk about things besides diapers and sleepless nights, as well. (As I run across more childless friends).

I think also as I struggle with friendships as I age, it is nice to know somewhere along the road I made very strong friendships.

Don't ask me why we didn't keep touch. I think a lot of it was I worked so hard in college. I kept in touch and hung out much with a few great friends, but grew apart from many of the rest. IT was hard to see so many people skate through college, completely paid for, and go off to school, while I Was working so many jobs and trying to make it on my own (Sticking around close to home; too broke for dorm life). As I find my friends from the past I am making a mental note not to let them go again, not so easily anyway.

**I perused online (should have done this sooner) on a fix for my car door lock problems. I found a quick, easy FREE fix. I printed it out and put it in my glove box for next time. Now I feel stupid paying the dealer $100 to fix. (& my mechanic $500 last time!). The fix was to literally pull out a fuse and put it back. I think we had looked closely at the fuses when it came to the windows, but not the doors (since those went next and we thought it was an electrical problem at that point).

As an aside, I Was also looking up quick fixes for the sticking window. No one else had figured it out it was simply a "grease" problem. I have to grease it up in the winter. Well, my mechanic has to, but I think he largely did it free. Which we did not have the right tools to get to the mechanism, so will have to bug him again I am sure.

SO A+ to my mechanic for the window fix.
F for the door lock fix. C- to the dealer for charging $100. Ack! I am sure they just did the fuse "pull out and replace."

I am learning it is good to get other opinions, even when you have that "ideal" honest mechanic. They just don't know everything (too much to know). But at least I know he would never charge me $100 to pull out and put back a fuse. YEesh.

The internet is such a great tool in that regard though.

**Dh and I are going on a date this weekend to see the Dark Knight.

It just occurred to me that this is the only forum/space that has not been inundated with the Dark Knight! (Don't think I've seen a mention).

Kind of sick of hearing about it, but want to see what everyone is talking about.

Editorial: California as No. 1 Tax Jurisdiction

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121625150189660215.html

Lucky us!

We will quickly surpass NY as highest taxed state. As if the high cost of living just wasn't enough.

Very will written editorial though.

If this passes, the income tax rate (top tier) will jump from 9% to 12% in just a few short years. The business climate is already terrible here with the high taxes. It was before they bumped it from 9% to 10%. Since then it has certainly been downhill.

Reminds me of that little story about how when you tax the wealthy too much they stop coming to the table. California is illustrating this quite beautifully.

I know people probably roll their eyes when I say that I would rather live on less and keep more, than make twice as much and pay ten times the taxes. I am just now *getting* that maybe other people don't get that so much because they are in other states and making a decent wage doesn't mean 50% to the government.

Around here? Literally if I made $200k (easy enough if dh and I both took management level jobs), half would go to the government.

I am quite happy to make more like $75k and keep most of it.

It's a LOT less effort.

As such, I will stick around. If I ever made real money though, not sure I could take it any more. I'd flee the state too.

Anyway, I've had a few clients with New York income and I always cringe at all the taxes. (Isn't there a city income tax too - in NYC?).

So it's just extra crazy to think we want to be worse than that. Ugh.

Dh has been doing well with the selling Wiis. Though this market largely depends on Nintendo under-stocking their product. They seem to be doing quite well at this, so other people can make easy profits. (Wondering in the wisdom of their business model).

So anyway, we enjoy, but dh figures eventually the Will will lose favor or be stocked in the stores, and it won't be so lucrative.

On the other hand, he is also making a killing on all of the old Nintendo game systems.

He keeps buying them up in bundles with games, and turning around and selling for double.

Yesterday was a good day on ebay. He thought he may bring in $40, at least, and sold a few games for about $70. He thinks he will sell the system for $50 (has in the past weeks). So he paid $60 and turned around everything for $120. (Well, ideally).

I am still giving dh space, but I hinted yesterday that I may need some of that money for dental bills. He is at least forewarned.

It's also been very helpful because this month has been rather expensive, between school expenses and swim lessons, etc., etc. I was okay to take the first month out of preschool savings to cover this one-time stuff, but with dh's money I think I will just go with the status quo. I had wanted to set that $200 aside, and for now I think I just will.

If dh keeps this up, there is little to stress about financially.

On one hand, this is a great business because it is so time flexible. I mean, what is the alternative? Minimum wage for many hours? On evenings and weekends? I think this is much more lucrative. BUT it is also much more expensive as far as taxes. He hasn't even cleared $1k cash profit yet, and so I haven't thought much as far as taxes. But once he clears $1k, we will definitely have to set aside about 1/3 for taxes. {I just expect enough tax refund for now, to cover the first $1k}. That dang self-employment tax! It definitely stings. Since I get to keep 85% of my check, it just stings that much more.

On the plus side, they just raised the gas mileage rate for businesses. Since he has been driving so much in his 40mpg vehicle to pick up games and such, I guess we will probably have much less tax profit when we consider the mileage expense. Something to consider. Though we don't really spend much to run or maintain his car. So that helps lower the effective tax rate in a sense, I guess.

Trying to look at the bright side?

Well, the bright side is having extra money. It's entirely weird. & nice!

Dh does not take the kids on his Craigslist runs, so since BM is home for a month with him, he was just telling me he didn't expect to buy much this month. BUT he has been picking up so much stuff on the evenings and weekends, I doubt it matters. I realize he may have an advantage being home during the day and having a couple of days a week he can run out and grab stuff (be the first!). So he may lose a bit of an edge for the next 30 days, but I am sure he will still buy and sell a few.

------------------------------

I got the sewer bill and it was about $5 higher. Ugh!

I read the fine print. It is going up $2.25 a month.

It seems worse since we only get billed every other month.

That is an 8% increase! Like the $90 or so we pay for water/sewer monthly wasn't enough... (We pay more for water than for energy).

I have been in some weird void where all of my bills had been going down. Our cable bill went down "just because." The city allowed us a metered water option late last year, which was cheaper than the flat rate we have been paying. All of our insurance has gone down, etc.

This year hasn't been so lucky. Our cable company went out of business and we couldn't find such a cheap alternative. So our cable bill is now up.

& now our sewer bill is up.

I am sure there is more to come...

I am moving rapidly into the realm of big kids stuff. I don't know if "big kid" is the appropriate word. But compared to my toddler, yes. Big Kid!

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ALLOWANCE

I briefly mentioned yesterday that we started BM on an allowance yesterday.

Dh and I talked and reminisced much over the weekend about our own childhood money learning.

They funny thing was his parents were much better about teaching him about buying used. I got much the same lesson when it came to cars and appliances, but funny enough, not the little stuff.

Well, since our kids have become garage sale junkies, no need to worry, they have already learned.

We discussed giving BM a $1/week allowance and a pile of chores. But we finally decided on $2/week since it actually gave him room to learn something. (I just didn't feel $1 was enough).

Looking online I saw at this age the average was $2.50/week. Since I don't want to deal with the change, $2 will do. Maybe we will up it to $3 next year, and up by a dollar every other year or something. Though I mostly just wanted to get an idea what other people were doing. Not that I care. I guess it is more important what works for us!

So, we'll see.

We gave him after-dinner clean up duty and gave him more responsibility for making his bed and cleaning up his room. & he will help us vacuum once a week.

He is at an age where he LOVES to help. & though we arbitrarily picked age 5 as the start point for allowance, it really seems he has been really ready of late. The timing is just good.

We don't tie the allowance to chores. The allowance is to learn to manage money (I've heard the negative but dh and I always had a small allowance - until we had real jobs anyway - and we are great with money. So why mess with what our parents did).

The chores are just his responsibility as part of the household. Sort of tied, but sort of not. There is certainly no option to opt out. But now that he is older and more responsible he has both chores and an allowance. Just how it goes for us.

I have one thing to work out with dh. Our parents never emphasized long-term savings or charity. & I feel these are kind of our downfalls. So I think we should take an automatic portion out to college savings (like 10%). To mimic retirement savings. I don't think dh agrees, but that is something we need to work out. I think it is a good principle to learn young. Always set aside a small portion for the long-term future... & I will talk to him about charity. I don't necessarily agree to tie up a percent of income. But I think we would improve in that area as well.

We'll also open a savings account for him, for when his piggy bank gets full. & teach him how we move most our cash to earn high interest when we aren't using it. So will get well into the financial education very quickly.

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The other side of the big boy coin is school.

I just paid $85 to the school. $25 for supplies (they provide - we just pay them) and $60 for field trips. Though any unused portion will carry forward to next year.

School uniforms is another story. I have issue with them. BUT my biggest issue is that they really push them as a measure to "help the poor."

Puh-leez.

They picked Land's End which is like $100 for a full uniform (shirt, pants, socks, shoes, whatever). They recommend $75 jackets. ????

Likewise, my usual thrift shopping is thwarted. MUCH harder to find what we need.

So I am not exactly happy. I am not poor, but I don't see the point in spending hundreds of dollars on clothes that will fit my kids for 3 months. They grow like weeds at this age.

& I am completely insulted for those who are poor.

Anyway, I found affordable alternatives at WalMart (no where else really) and that is allowed. But I generally wouldn't buy clothes there. I think the quality is crap - it's just the only thing in my budget.

Anyway, so I roll my eyes as I feel backed in a corner to shop Wal Mart. & I think those parents are morons if they think the Land's End kids aren't going to make fun of the kids who go for cheaper alternatives.

If I could just go Thrift, they wouldn't even know the difference.

I'll keep my eye out - I might found something else - but it is just far more work than I care for.

Anyway, as I roll my eyes at the principle and see little how it will make a difference, I am also just disgusted with how plain and boring everything has to be. No individuality. Poor kids...

So I do have to buy a backpack still, and a plain little lunch box. & shoes with no logos, characters or lights. Bah.

Thank goodness for MIL. She bought a pile of clothes. I still need to get a jacket and sweaters and all that. So I have to go through and see what the damage will be.

I am just not happy to spend all this money.

The plus is LM will get use of out of this stuff in a couple of years. So there is some saving grace...

I guess we have been on a game kick, as we realize BM is quite adept at playing many of our favorite family games.

So my dad got all excited and brought out SET over the weekend. I know BM is rather smart for his age, but he kicked our butts. LOL. I looked at my dad and said, "I think this is a game where kids are better than adults." Indeed, it is.

But anyway, I think it is more rare and I wanted to share.

They do sell on Amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/SET-Enterprises-4098363-Game/dp/B00000...

A very nerdy/genius type friend showed us this game, probably when I was in high school.

My dad enjoys it so much he made a computer program of it. OF course, he said he would give us a copy, but we need a LARGE computer screen. Which we don't have.

I doubt it is something we'll see at the garage sales, but we'll keep an eye out. We may buy it new down the road.

But it is a really good thinking game for kids. & yes, they do quite well with it. I am even impressed they recommend for ages 6 and up. Seems like we have been playing so many games with both our kids that are recommended ages 7 & up. You just roll your eyes. The 4-year-old loves all these games... So SET is a little more realistic on the age level, but I think most 5-year-olds would enjoy it as well.

Oh. I also found an online version to try...

http://2n1.org/applets/set/

I've been quiet because life has been BUSY. But mostly in a good way.

First, for the stressful stuff. A lot of my friend's kids have had cavities very young, and this is very odd to me. I cam attribute all of my cavities in life to braces and pregnancy (maybe?). LOL. I had one rather recently, and I blame pregnancy. Hehe. But it can hurt your oral health - all the hormones.

Cavities as a kid? No. I have very good oral genes in that sense. I had braces for a million years and many surgeries, so got some bad genes there, but cavities overall never had been a problem.

So I turned to dh rather recently and griped about why so many little kids got so many cavities. When he admitted he had them too as a child.

I just didn't know that it was so common. That their enamel is so thin.

Anyway, so we went to the dentist Friday and BM had his first x-rays. My dentist hasn't really wanted to take him on, but he LOVES the dentist and did quite well. They really could have done x-rays on visit one. Wish they had...

This was his third visit and they finally braved x-rays.

& the poor kid has a plethora of cavities.

At first I was just very concerned for him. BUT I am also a little stressed financially, about it.

Of course they are talking to us about eating sugar and all that.

What sugar?

Our kids just eat so well.

I blame dh's genes. LOL.

It gets better. The dentist starts going on how we should really get insurance. I had really concluded we should just self insure. Even though I know my kids will need lots of work, since they have obviously inherited my mouth.

So any input on where to get good insurance is welcome. I haven't found anything useful, nothing offered through my job or professional organizations, etc. Something through my health plan but it is mostly more expensive than it is worth. Maybe we could add the kids on a trial basis. I do admit I thought in terms of an adult before. The kids might need a lot more work. See if we come out ahead at all...

Anyway, I think he was exaggerating a bit though, PHEW. BEcause as we walked out they mentioned we really needed panoramic x-rays, and handed me an estimate. They just blindly assumed we couldn't afford it Friday (my HUGE PET PEEVE).

How much is a panoramic x-ray? $90.

Could I have swung $180 on Friday? Um, yeah!!!

But they handed it to me all apologetically, like they knew we could never afford it. ???

It made me feel a little better when he was trying to freak me out about insurance. I think he was exaggerating a bit. I do realize orthodontia is far more expensive, but I also realize you end up paying a chunk out of pocket either way.

Anyway, of course he didn't want to touch any of that with a 10-foot pole. (The cavities). I have mostly pushed taking BM there because I TRUST him. But we have found a good/reasonable pediatric dentist here in the area (LM needed one). So I feel a sigh of relief I have somewhere else to take him. He recommended we get him over there since they may want to get started on preventive things, etc. He has a lot of overcrowding as did moi, as a child.

The financial stress is I thought I had a few more years to save up for this stuff. But it is coming on rapidly. !!

Our dentist did tell us to start flossing because he had over crowding and it is just something that fell by the wayside. I feel terrible now. We had the warning, he said all his cavities could have been avoided with flossing. All between the teeth! So I learned something new. & feel terrible if we had taken it all more seriously, this could have been avoided.

I am not sure how much longer he will LOVE the dentist. But I know the pediatric place is excellent with kids, and he will probably be just fine.

& it's nice we still have our dentist for the second opinion. I think we will need it much in coming years.

---------------------

Yesterday I met up with some old friends. One I have kept in touch with regularly but maybe have grown apart from a but the last few years. The other one was a wild child I had not seen since high school.

It was a VERY interesting meetup. Had a great time. It struck me how much the one I hadn't seen in 14 years had grown and matured. She actually married right out of school and was for almost a decade. She got divorced and decided to turn her life around and go to med school. So as I remembered her as a very wild child, and was rather cautious to meet up with her, I was actually very surprised how much she had changed over the years.

Even my "best friend" who I felt had been going down a very different road, seems to have grown up a bit the last few years. I am hoping we can get together more. Since we have moved to Sacramento, it has just been so much more difficult. The public transport between here and San Francisco just sucks. & the drive is even worse. So when we moved here though I felt we weren't much farther away, we really are. When we moved here is when we REALLY lost touch.

Anyway, it was interesting because my sister has followed much the same path of my wild child friend. We talked about her a bit and she just said, "Your sister is young. She'll outgrow it." I guess she speaks from experience. So it was rather enlightening.

I told my mom that my friends were growing up. & probably me too. She noted that there was a HUGE difference between her 10 and 20-year high school reunion. I guess there is a certain amount of maturity that comes from graduating from your 20s.

Anyway, I went to a high school with about 1000 in the graduating class. (Yes, one thousand!) Likewise, no one is about to take on a reunion on such a large scale. Which I have always found rather disappointing.

I guess with the likes of MySpace and Facebook I get a taste of reunion that I would probably never get otherwise.

----------------------------

We ate way too much food and spent way too much money. Dh hung out with his friend and had a sit down dinner, as did I with my friends. & all the gas and everything. But yeah, we also had dinner with my folks yesterday. They paid, but I am sure I gained 5 pounds yesterday. !!

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Because we spent too much and ate too much, dh decided not to do Garlic Festival this year.

Phew.

He had been wanting to go, and since it is rare he chooses something like that, I was fine with it. BUT not looking forward to the heat. & also realized it was hard to justify financially.

So I am relieved he decided against it. It is last July of every year so we just decided we had to set our next dental appointment for that weekend. Could become a tradition. Get our teeth cleaned and go to the Garlic Festival.

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The rest of the weekend was mostly spent in MIL's pool. Had a swim "party" with the cousins and ate pizza. & we went swimming twice yesterday at MIL's insistence that we use the pool. (Since it never really gets used any more).

------------------------

It was the most marvelous weekend because we didn't have to pack a caravan, and because they kids were so easy. We have never had such a simple trip. They are getting MUCH easier with age. Bed time was a breeze and we went diaperless for the trip. No one woke up freaked out in the middle of the night (in a "strange" place). Yay yay and yay!

--------------------------

Today we probably will take BM down to the pool to practice more swimming.

I should probably go to the gym.

Oh well, I don't think we have much to do today. Just, recover from a busy week. Phew!

--------------------------

I need to do some Craigslist listings.

The one stroller I had hope would sell well, was taken by dh's sister. Oh well. Still glad to be rid of it!

BM told me he had wanted to sell something of his (no doubt watching our habits very carefully. We have been selling MUCH in recent weeks). I mentioned he should ask his brother if he wanted it first. He was not happy about it. I told him we totally knew how he felt, but it was the nice thing to do. Might as well get used to it...

BUT reminds me, since he is 5, we are starting the chore and allowance thing, as of today. He is VERY excited about this.

& yes, that is a glimpse of busy busy here...

Not much to report here.

So I figured I'd go off on a tangent, though it is largely related to our approach to personal finance.

It has struck me lately that the blogs and forums (here and elsewhere) are full of talks about how impossible it is to have both kids and financial freedom. & a lot of the times these discussions tie in with how impossible it is to balance motherhood and a career.

I guess I am saddened to see, for all the strides women have made over the years, that so many women still feel they either have to work or stay home. There doesn't seem to be much consideration of some sort of middle ground.

Likewise, through all the discussions I realized a few things about myself.

For one, I don't really identify, for the most part, with young working moms. I have always identified more with older people, and I guess funny enough, that still holds true as I age. I think I identify more with older childless women. More than younger women with children. Mostly because I just can't take all of the "I am miserable" and the "I cant's." More on that later...

Likewise, I am tired of reading how one spouse has to sacrifice everything when you have children.

Don't get me wrong, having children is not an EASY road. We have certainly had our moments. We have certainly sacrificed some amount of freedom we had before kids.

But when I look at our lives I don't feel like dh and I particularly sacrificed much for our kids. My dh is degreed and has much work experience. He is perfectly capable of standing on his own financially. Likewise, he gave up a career he hated and got the guts to pursue his starving artist pursuits. Something he was far too practical to do before we had kids and he was home anyway. I encouraged him many times before kids to quit his job and pursue his dreams. Having kids gave him the guts.

Likewise, having children was more his dream than mine, and he does quite well with them. I got to keep the job I love. & yet I have plenty of time for my children because my spouse does so much to take care of the house and such. My experience is largely that of a very involved working father. I'm generally not worried about the household or how my children are taken care of. I know they couldn't be in better hands. & I know dh is much better with the raising them than I would be. It's just much more his *thing.*

Thus, we play to our strengths and neither of us has sacrificed very much in the process. There is certainly compromise, but there is always is compromise when you share your life with someone. Or when you bring other people into this world.

Of course, our life could be better and more balanced. Probably anyone's could be, but it gives us something to strive for.

Anyway, I share all this because not only have I noticed all this chatter on the internet lately.

BUT this topic came up quite heavily at the kids' birthday party. Whereas when the kids were infants we found plenty of peers home with their kids, we are starting to feel like a dying breed. At the party almost every mom there had announced that they had returned to work rather recently. & they all commiserated with each other greatly. Going on about their 20-hour days between their inflexible jobs and not-so-helpful husbands.

Then they all kind of looked at me in pity. "Poor MonkeyMama, she has done this for FIVE years!!!"

& my response was, "Huh?"

I just don't identify with their plight in the least.

I have concluded, for the most part, that people assume my spouse is a leech who does nothing. He is a man after all. & I am often quite insulted at what people have to say. But it's like, wait a minute, my spouse is home full-time taking care of the household and the child rearing. No, thankfully, I have not lived your miserable existence for the last 5 years. !!! If so I would have gone quite mad by now.

Of course, on the flip side, as we pass the ages where daycare is no longer more expensive than a second income, we have discussed the future and reveled in the idea of a second income to save. At some point down the road anyway. A lot of the times we look to this route quite cautiously, knowing it will bring great stress and work. Much more than we are accustomed to. We also champion the money we save with a spouse at home and are well aware a second income will have its share of expenses.

But spending a day with those moms? I am happy to stay on our current path. The second income just doesn't sound so grand, if that is the baggage that it comes with.

I told dh whenever I was down about our own financial situation I just had to spend 2 seconds with those moms. OR just about any working mom.

In comparison, both my spouse and I have plenty of joy and leisure in our lives. I am not even entirely convinced we have that much less money. LEss money, yes. But THAT much? Not really. The taxes on that second income always make me cringe. I know it will be much harder to stick to a tight budget when you consider a second commute and the loss of all that time shopping for deals, etc.

Anyway, in recent months I made a not so conscious decision to exit out of the mommy crowds. A lot of it was just the rude RSVPing and all that I had griped about. But I kind of just realized, I just don't really identify with the other moms. I think I am tired of them all pitying me as a working mom. IT just gets old. Who said I needed any pity? Likewise, I am tired of hanging around so many people who are just absolutely miserable. & my conclusion is that most moms are absolutely miserable. IT's kind of sad to say. I have been making an effort to hang around with my less miserable mom friends. & it has been a lot nicer. They are out there. Just harder to find.

But yeah, if nothing else. I am not sure I Can get across that I never had to pack up my children for daycare or communicate to another caregiver outside the household what they needed. I understand this an extremely unique position to be in. Likewise I Don't have to spend my evenings prepping them for the next day or whatever. Our evenings are for fun. Dh takes care of the work they need during the day.

You could argue I am lucky to have such a spouse. But it works both ways. HE is just as lucky to have me.

& I think I mostly put this out for the "independent" women of the world who are scared having children will ruin their lives. You know, it just might if you sacrifice your own happiness or principles in the process. But there is not only 2 ways to do things. There are a million shades of gray in between. I think that is what happy moms realize and practice. So I just had to share.

I am one mom who is not miserable in the least, and though children have set us back financially, I still think it is quite possible to do quite well financially, even with children.

I think if nothing else we have both give ourselves much more permission to slow down and enjoy, now that we do have children. & there really isn't anything wrong with that. IT is rather freeing. IT's kind of nice we can slow down, enjoy, take on much more financially, and still do okay, in the grand scheme of things.