So it looks like I may win $5 or $10. That was easy peasy money. Good to see more people participating in this newest blog competition though. I think they're fun, though I am stumped on Top 10 for now, may sit this one out.

I moved $500 over from bonds to stock. Everything is doing good I guess, but getting way too bond heavy. So did the shift. I just did a big shift a couple of months ago - yeesh. Keeping on top of allocations. Plus it looks like we are up 8% for the year. Not bad, not bad. Cash, bonds, stocks and all... I am still amazed how much we are beating ex-broker's butt, but I guess not having to pay an inordinate amount of fees makes ALL the difference. All that being said we have another 1-2% to beat 2004 & 2006.

I would really like to do some ROTH conversions right now. I keep thinking what if dh gets some giant windfall from this movie and we get pushed to a higher tax bracket? What I should really think is, so what? Like it matters. So we will have that much more money to pay for the conversion. I should just bite the bullet and do it! What are the odds anyway - pretty slim. I have to jinx it to get a big windfall, so be it. That would be quite a jinx. I can't contribute to any of my funds right now because I guess for the same reason - it is iffy if I am entitled to a tax-deductible IRA contribution if any extra money comes in. I should just start the paperwork - lord knows it takes forever. Waiting so far just means a bigger tax bill - all my accounts are doing so well. I don't think I have any bond funds right now either - dh has them all - since we have so little to work with individually I just consider it all one - our money. I have some cash, he has the bonds, we both have everything else I guess. But yeah, I should start paperwork and start converting. Every $100 gain is another $15 tax due to the Feds when I finally do it. It would be nice to be able to add some money to my accounts!

Oh, I tried to move the $115 sitting in my Fidelity cash account to my mid-cap fund, but I guess I need $250 minimum. Now that is a conundrum. I am not sure if I can add any money. All the more reason to convert that and contribute the token $135 so I can invest the cash. I was wondering if I sold $135 from the mutual fund and then bought it back with the $250 if that would work. It probably would, but would they rather me go through all that? Gah. Why are these things so dang complicated!

I kind of laugh at myself reading some of the blogs because I pride myself on being a simple person and leading a simpler lifestyle (I guess in comparison to city folk). But I guess you have to keep in mind is I am usually a go go go person, and I have REALLY slowed down since having kids. Then again, maybe it is the kids that make life crazy. I don't know. But I think back to the days I worked and had school from 6am to 10pm and you know, these days are simple if you ask me.

It is also funny because I ran to my friend at preschool the other day and told her that things were slowing down but BM was in karate and I just started aerobics, and all our evening are tied up, and she called me a soccer mom or something. Oy Vey! I think I took offense to it - LOL. But after karate class BM and I sat and watched the ducks at the pond for a good 1/2 hour. I thought soccer moms don't this. I need down time too much I guess. I don't want to push my kids. Though I guess my problem, which I get from my dad, is I want my kids to experience everything there is to life. Honestly I want my kids to take piano lessons, and BM to continue karate if he likes, I want to take him roller skating and bowling on the weekends, all the stuff my parents exposed me to. But it is all to overwhelming all at once. One thing at a time I guess. I am sure at some point it could be translated into the crazy soccer mom lifestyle I imagine, but overall I just want the kids to know there is much out there. & frankly I wish there was enough hours in the day to have 1000 hobbies, but I realize there isn't. I am content with aerobics class for now as raising kids takes 99% of my time.

Anyway, in financial news I now make enough money to qualify for $4k/month disability benefits through my professional association. Awesome Possum since I have been using this as a benchmark for our basic expenses. So I will up it from $3500. IT is only like $200/year premium. I keep hearing how disability is so expensive and so I wonder if this is another one where being young paid off. OF course then I wonder if I should have locked it in in our 20s. For now it is such a good rate though and I am already 30, I Am sticking with it. Though I will start shopping around, would be willing to pay a bit more to lock in a rate for 30 years or something. I could kick myself for not doing that in my 20s. Our life insurance was an incredible deal since we locked in the rates while young and healthy. Then again it is such a bargain through my association. Decisions decisions.

I also tried to up my credit limit online on the citi card (like I want to call them and sit through their high pressure sales tactics - could I call a credit company without a protection package spiel - oy very - Chase has been super obnoxious and Citi doesn't seem much better. Now I do not need protection in case of loss of work - that is what my efund is for!!!!). Anyway, they denied me because I was a new customer, but I tried for dh too on a whim that maybe he had been a customer of Citi before. Well, lahdedah, I just got an e-mail that they approved him a $4k credit line increase just by simply asking online, a couple of weeks after he applied for the card originally. It means we have $16k to BT fee-free between the 2 of us. I am happy. Means around a $500 return - much more worthwhile now. I will call and ask - with my credit score I really can't say they would say no - we don't have much credit to our names overall and I have been reading some people just called and got $25k. That's what I want - LOL. Well, I'll try, inconvenience and all.

I also applied for the WAMU card out of curiosity. Plus it was cute. LOL. They gave me $6k I think - and are transferring it to my Citi Card where I can online request a refund of the credit balance! This BT had a $75 fee and mostly I just wanted to try it out. I am lucky they gave me $6k. If they gave me much less I am not sure I could even come out ahead - but the BT 0% rate is for around 14 months... I now see why Citi is such a good deal, because you can utilize the BT later after you ask for a bigger limit. I knew WAMU wasn't the best deal, but offset against the others, it will up our returns a bit. mostly I wanted to experiment with the whole process. Though it would be FAR easier to just have one card with $25k or something. But I like paying bills and paying with Quicken, and for the first time, will set all these up to pay automatically anyway (keeping a close eye). I think it won't be so bad - just have to be organized and remember when each needs to be repaid in full. So I'll keep you updated!

Today I am meeting some girlfriends for lunch. IT has been too busy but finally just said screw it. I need a life - LOL. & I also have a movie night with my mom's group the week after the cruise. It seems during tax season all the working moms dropped off the face of the earth, but hoping if I host an event or 2 maybe we can move forward. Just happy I can make an event. They have been having a lot of marykay and tupperware parties - blech! I just want a nice cheap playdate for my kids - not be sold crap. & then they are always pushing for pricey weeknight dinners which many of us can't afford. Someone had the suggestion that we meet for a lunch on a weekend - now that I could jive with! We just don't do dinners except that is the ONLY time we can generally find babysitting - but saving big pricey dinners for dates with my hubby myself.

Which reminds me my cruise is in less than 3 weeks!!!!!!! I thought it was 4 weeks away. I am so happy though lord knows where my passport is. Keeping my fingers crossed I get it in time - oy vey. Now I Read that an expired one would suffice just dandy. But I mailed it off to the terribly slow passport agency. Worst case I guess is I can drive to SF the week before and demand my old one back or something - LOL. I just do not like things last minute and mail has been awfully slow so I am terribly antsy about it. I should have lied and said my trip was much sooner - silly me. But I wanted to be fair to the last-minute applyers. *sigh*

Oh yeah, and I have bunco tonight. I felt silly when I realized - meeting my friend for lunch and will see her at bunco tonight too - but it has been too long. Nice to be getting a semblance of a life back - phew. THough lunch and bunco is not cheap either.

Send me money vibes - win win win!!!!

Oh yeah, I am still planning to do Kiva, and maybe Prosper. Kiva soon, like this month. Prosper, I will probably wait until I get my efund to where I want it - plus some ROTH conversions. So maybe in December or next January.... All things on the back burner for right this moment but I want to get to!

I got a wonderful article idea because I keep replying to posts and blogs about usual rules and assumptions about finance and how they don't really apply when you start young/are young.

Like am I worried about paying off the mortgage before retirement? Not exactly. If I take the full 30 years from my last refinance it will be paid off 10 years before traditional retirement age. & neither of us really has a burning desire to retire early. We own our dream home with a fixed low rate. I really don't foresee not having our house paid by 55, nor having the desire to move up.

Today I was commenting on the faulty logic of ROTH IRAs being less favorable in today's dollars. I have a 40-year investment horizon. I should be able to put in $4k/year and take out $1 million plus tax-free in 40 years. Hello. In the meantime I am young and my income tax rate is nil now too. win-win. If your ivvestment horizon is only 10-20 years and you are at the peak of your career income-wise, well then it makes little sense. I'll agree. But as usual I see huge exceptions for being young.

I find myself over and over saying yes, these financial principles make sense when you are in your 40s or something, but the ball game is completely different when you are in your 20s. Of course I would rethink ROTHs if I were in my 40s. OF course I Would work harder to pay off the house sooner if I bought a home in my 40s. Etc., etc.

But I find having a LONG investment horizon changes all the rules.

So is there anywhere else any of you have noticed this?

I think overall I am going to turn this article into more reasons to start investing and taking charge of your finances while you are young!!!

The other obvious one is you can invest less, on an annual basis, for retirement, the younger you start, due to the power of compounding, which really ties into the rest. Why pay off the mortgage early when I have such a long investment horizon, is really what it comes down to. As does all of these. But I figure there are some other things I haven't though of - always helps to have more brains to pick.

Thanks!

ETA: I thought of a good one in the middle of the night and completely forgot. It figures - LOL. Maybe insurance - how you can lock in low rates in your 20s.

I am getting another niece around October - woohoo!

The funny thing though is we gave so much stuff to family being the first to have children. At first we gave freely because it was family, but after a while dh and I started to conclude, this sucks. LOL. We have spent so much on baby stuff and everyone else gets a free ride. Plus we have started selling bigger things. Luckily no one seemed to need them. But we visited his cousin one day and when we got home dh says to me - there is no way we are going to give them any more clothes - they do not need them in the least. Yeah they live in an expensive area but they seem to be doing quite well. & plus BIL's family is large and they have hand-me-downs galore from them too - more to the point. So we were kind of excited to start selling some of this stuff instead, and then dh tells me, well what if SIL has a boy? She'll need boy clothes. & of course she already asked me what I have available to give.

So anyway, the boy clothes I have to sell and donate aren't much, and won't make us rich or anything. But it is kind of nice all the same to not feel like the sole support of all things baby in the family any more.

I think more of my bitterness set in when SIL could not even loan us one item when we had my second. Heck I think she wouldn't give me back some stuff when I asked!!! So I got really annoyed. But I would still feel obligated to help all the same if it was a boy. We're just stupid like that - LOL. Of course anything for a 1-2 year old already resides with dh's rich cousin, so not much we could help her with now anyway.

I shouldn't get too excited though because you never know. I have a couple of friends who were having girls that ended up being boys, so you know, nothing is set in stone I guess.

Oh, but I have to tell you a cute kiddie story.

I remember it was around May 2 years ago when I was shopping at Target for some maternity bras, and I Was with my son, and all of a sudden he starts exclaiming (he was about 2) - "Those are so cute!!!!" To the bras. Well, they were just plain and white - nothing really cute, but all the ladies around started laughing. Was just So Funny.

So over the weekend I had LM in the shopping cart and was wheeling him around in search of the adorable monkey doormat I saw in the sales ad. I told him to keep an eye out for monkeys. So we went down a bath aisle with little monkey bath accessory sets and I exclaimed how cute they were. So we kept rolling and he saw more monkey stuff so he exclaimed in his little baby voice, with much excitement, "That is so cute!!!!!!" Of course again the other ladies in the aisle start cracking up. IT was really funny to me because I immediately had deja vu.

& well I guess I have to admit that I must exclaim, "how cute!!!!!" a lot. LOL. It's something about this particular age that both boys picked up on it though. Hehe.

I think for the most part I feel blah due to the lack of sleep. I concluded this because I had a wonderful productive weekend, went to bed very happy and just wokr up feeling like crap this morning. Slept maybe 11 - 6, but I like need 8 hours to function, and the whole getting awakend 100 times in between is the biggest problem.

& of course the only reason I got so much done this weekend was I didn't take any naps, which usually I thrive on. Well, maybe next weekend I can catch up around the house, and then resume naps after that. The 4-day weekend I have should help too - phew.

I swear - I never missed a glorious full night sleep in my life, before kids. I value my sleep very highly. I was actually surprised how well I adjusted to the sleepless nights when I had kids. But a mere 4 years later (almost 5 years when you realize pregnancy as well makes it impossible to sleep), I think I am done with it - I want my sleep back. IT doesn't help when older/wiser parents say your kids will always keep you up (with worry if nothing else). I can't even fathom a life of this. LOL. At least once these evil molar finally break through it will calm down for a bit. I hope...

In other news we should find out today if SIL is having a boy or a girl. Yes, I know it is not 1000%, but I am excited anyway. Very very very excited. I kind of hoped its a boy, but then I realized there are 3 boys in the family and only 1 girl, thus far. Either way a healthy baby is most important. But I can go buy those adorable little baby outfits once I find out - woohoo. I have to admit I really enjoy having a niece because I love buying those cute girly clothes I will never get to for my own children. Then again it has been so long since I have had an infant, well I will enjoy regardless, all those little bitty baby things - how fun.

Anyway, things accomplished this weekend:

* Cleaned out kitchen cupboards and threw away so much old food I am embarassed to admit. Some stuff that expired 2000 - 2003. Blah.

*Worked a bit

*Went to to realtor's house for dinner. Had shrimp! Kids met and had an absolute blast. I think it will be great to get the kids together more but not sure how well the adults jived. A little too hoity toity for me which I find ironic since I never got that impression from me. realtor before going to his home. Interesting though. I guess I got tired hearing about how their beautiful upscale home was in the "ghetto." LOL. Oy vey. To their credit, they didn't clarify until we were leaving that a horrible shoothing that took place a few months back happened 2 doors down from their home. Oy vey. But you know, idiots are everywhere. One shooting does not a ghetto make.

*Cleaned up the bedroom - had dh move his dresser to its new spot (displaced by his beloved TV) and set up my shelves and anchor them. We have boxes to unpack from when we were thinking of moving. Now I Can unpack some boxes.

*Added some more things for the freecycle and donation piles. One thing I found in the cupboards was baby food. Also bibs. At least the baby food didn't expire yet or I Would feel really bad.

*Moved old/ancient/horrible recliner out of baby's room and put the toddler bed in there. Will recycle chair. It did us fine through 2 babies with a nice blanket to hide the fact it is completely falling apart. Was a hand-me-down. Will freecycle it. I don't want to think about the crib to bed transition with nights as they have been. Then again he's not sleeping anyway, so why not. We would have to do significant babyproofing to his room though. It was easier with the eldest, we moved him into an empty/bare room. LOL. We'll have to move the diapers and babyproof and yadda yadda. Then again he might sleep better in a bed instead of a crib. WHo knows...

*Light cleaning

*Took the kids to the park Sunday. There is this really cool/big park by BM's karate class with a pond as well. We saw some baby geese there the other night after karate class and just sat on a bench 1/2 hour watching the birds. Someone had thrown food on the ground before we got there but the birds didn't notice until we sat down, so a ton of birds came up to us and BM was just in heaven watching them all. OF course he wanted to hug them all and was upset I made him sit, hands off and all that - LOL. The baby geese were actually kind of ugly, but fun to watch. A bunch of baby ducks too - very adorable. So I drug the family out Sunday. LM loves the birds, but was too enamored by the park to really be bothered by the birds. But a nice park, will have to frequent that one more.

*Ate out Greek Dinner last night. Well ordered in actually. That place is just too good - too addicting...

*Dh went rock climbing (indoor) with some movie buddy - was glad he got out though worried it is an expensive hobby to persue. He keeps telling me how much I have to try rock climbing on the cruise ship. IT doesn't sounds fun to me in the least - I don't like, well, heights. I'll try it but don't expect to like it - LOL. Even worse his best buddy has been doing REAL rock climbs and he wants to go. If you haven't noticed I am not much of a risk taker. Doesn't sound fun to me. Blah. Oh well, it could be worse...

*Oh yeah, went shopping. Spent too much money. What a spendy weekend. We went by Target because they had a sale on some nice duffle bags I had been looking for on ebay. I figured the sale was about the same, but I could check them out in person as opposed to the stab in the dark it was going to seem on ebay. So we all went and dh stocked up on sale items (laundry detergent and such), and I stocked up on bags (found a nice backpack as well since I finally just threw my old one from college away - the thing was thrashed. The new one is 10 times nicer though, and we have some nice bags for our trip. The best part is the duffle has rollers (my other one well it still works fine but it is big and gets heavy - the rollers are a NICE touch), but even better it came with a free smaller bag. Dh has a nasty old little holey duffle bag that has got to be since he was a baby or sonmething. IT's either the bag or me. It has to go. This one is 10 times as nice but he still wants his old one. I just can't take it anymore - LOL. Last time we visited his mom I had a plastic bag and dh had his holey bag and the kids had all their nice bags and I told MIL - such is lif e- the kids have way nicer stuff than we do. But now we are all on par. It is nice to move beyond the plastic grocery bags, personally. LOL. Next on the list is his jacket. I think I even replaced it once since I met him - this old gray hooded sweatshirt. But I don't know what he does to these things - it is just nasty. Washing doesn't seem to help. I guess for his birthday or something - LOL. But I conquered the duffle bag and am very happy.

Oh yeah, but my impulse buy was a giant monkey doormat. Too cute!!!!!

So it was a very busy weekend.

I felt bad we spent so much money, but today it evened out. I just realized preschool is out (& don't have to pay) lasy week of June!!!!! The payment for June is in my May budget, and I was pretty dead on for the month. So now I suddenly have $70 extra. No mind that with the car I didn't put a dime in savings (long-term) this month, and we had a spendy weekend. I told dh we should use the money for a night out. So I reserved a night our next week for Ms. preschool to babysit and we are going on a date.

Actually my boss took us to the fanciest restaurant last week and OMG it was SO good. I told dh what I really wanted to do was take him there. (Plus the lunch prices really weren't that bad - though I guess I have to wonder about dinner). When we couldn't decide what to do I think partly we realized we were kind of sick of going to the same place for dinner whenever we catch a break. At least I am. SUre, it's rare enough, but boring all the same - LOL. So, with babysitting and the fancy dinner will probably spend a little more than the $70 saved. But I REALLY look forward to it!!!!

Oh yeah, but though I did so much and all is well, still feeling overwhelmed. Have to scrub all the bathrooms, get the freecycle/donate/sell piles out of the house, scrub kitchen, pick up the lving room (looks like a tornado has been through). I just want my house back - I hate living in a sty. It was too overwhelming so I just started small with the kitchen cabinets, but it really helps. I didn't realize how bad they were for one!!!! But if nothing else want the house hospitable for dh's family - they are staying to watch the kids when we go on the cruise... I know for a fact MIL will about faint when she sees the cabinets. She knows we are slobs and plus it bugs her.

Oh yes, I also bought some canisters to set out on the kitchen counters, to free up cupboad space - which spurred the cupboard cleaning frenzy. IT didn't free up as much as I had hoped, but will probably buy more. I think it is a good idea overall - we have tons of counterspace but the cupboards seem cramped. Dh and I also got into a great debate how to store spices. I hate how they are stored now and I can't find anything, but he resists change. YEah, sure, I do never cook because I can't find ANYTHING!!!!! LOL. He does get a little possessive of the kitchen, but I do enjoy cooking it would like to do it once in a while too. That whole thing is on hold until one of us devises a compromise. I saw some cute wall spice racks until I realized our kitchen has NO wall space either. Bummer. Dh resists everything that I think is useful. Even a nice drawer organizer would work, but he resists - because the kids would get into them. Whatever. The kids don't get into the knives. But he doesn't seem worried about that one. *whatever* Which reminds me we should probably move them since BM has mastered the child locks. But that's the thing, clearly hte knives are off limits and the kids don't mess with them. I am not sure why dh has no faith in his parenting skills when it comes to spices. LOL. Knives yes, spices no. Sometimes he is really frustrating!

1. Going to Private College will make you more successful than Public College

Some quotes from an interesting series Laura Rowley did on the subject:

"Research shows that 20 years into their careers, highly motivated students who don't attend the most selective schools earn roughly the same salaries as those who do."

"Studies show the ranks of CEOs, at least, are not dominated by Ivy League grads. Spencer Stuart, the executive search firm, found 11 percent of CEOs at Fortune 500 firms had Ivy League degrees -- down from 16 percent in 1998. A survey by the Wharton School found that in 2001, 10 percent of CEOs received undergraduate degrees at one of the eight Ivies; 48 percent earned them from public colleges and universities."

http://finance.yahoo.com/expert/article/moneyhappy/4665

Granted, there are some situations, maybe many, where a private university will give you a leg up. But is it always worth it at any cost? I would not agree in the least.

By the way, most of the people I know from high school blew too much money on fancy private colleges right away, then returned to public education (then out of money) for their real degrees and/or Master degrees. This always seemed REALLY backwards to me. So I have to add, if you must go to private college, make sure you have picked the degree/career you are going to stick with. That's pretty hard to do at 17/18.

2. Colleges that cost More are Better

Unfortunately I can't find any links to the articles I have seen on this subject. But there was a really interesting article I read a few months back how many colleges would raise their tuition (& accordingly their financial aid packages) to increase interest in the college when enrollment was down. It really worked. If tuition was perceived to be too low, enrollment would drop. Often raised tuition was all it took to spur more interest.

We are smarter than this. Much as many of us here are not too big on brand names in general, why settle for a brand name college that just costs 10 times as much as the others? Substance should be far more important.

3. You have to go into debt to get through College

As with anything, there are shades of gray here. I know plenty of people who needed to take on a little debt to get through college. Sure. The problem here is too many people look at it as an all or nothing proposition. If you can't afford college, and have to throw it all on a card anyway, why pay attention to the budget? I remember getting so sick of people in college who had to pay their own way through who racked up a lot of debt and whined about it while living lifestyles 10 times as grand as those of us quietly working our way through college, working many jobs, and budgeting and cutting expenses. I wasn't really convinced that large car payments and party lifestyles were necessary to get through college.

But mostly my point is, if you think something is impossible it will be. IF you think it is impossible to get through with no or little debt, well it will be. Consider changing your thinking.

At least make an effort to make the debt hurt as little as possible!

4. You can't work while you are in college

Okay okay, so there are some degrees and some people who can not work while going to college. I get it. Go take out some reasonable loans. That doesn't bother me. But too often I see very able-bodied/smart people who would never consider working in college. IF nothing else, is it really that impossible to work a couple of jobs in the summer and earn some money when school is out? I pretty much worked full-time all through college and had a 4.0 GPA. IT took me 5 years instead of 4. Hardly worse for the wear. What do you think looks better on a resume? Someone who didn't work a day during college, someone who worked summers only when school was out, or someone who balanced work and school at the same time. #3 will win by a mile but I don't think #2 will do half bad either. #1 - I don't know. The only exception being lots of extra-curriculars, which if necessary, maybe time to hit the student loans. There are exceptions to the rule, of course, but for the most part I see too many "I can't"s where there really shouldn't be.

5. You are a Horrible Parent if you don't provide a College Education for your Kids (particularly expensive ones at any cost)

I think #4 kind of leads into this one. That parents forget their children are able-bodied adults who can help pay for their own college. Really, it won't kill them!

Anyway, I just had to share my experience, and I guess why I feel so strongly that most college talk is a lot of hype. The downside is people get SO emotional about this issue their brain really goes out the window. You don't know how many times I have been called names and considered a moron because I don't intend to save up 1/2 mil to put both my kids completely through medical school, like it is their god-given right. But most of the time I have to admit this kind of response comes from people who resent the fact their parents weren't there for them for college. I understand that gets emotional. But look, there is a huge difference between not being prepared, not supporting your kids, etc., versus just expecting the kids to pull their weight a bit, and not putting college in front of all other financial goals, illogically.

As for my family, my father came from an extremely poor family and had no help with college. He went to state and worked through college, coming out with no debt. Having done so he was able to, through his career, move from the lowest social class to pretty much upper-middle-class. Obviously my father values a college education dearly as it made a HUGE difference in his life.

However, my parents didn't save a dime specifically for my college. I am not saying they didn't save a dime. They had plenty of money to finance my education if they so choose. But they didn't earmark a huge chunk for college or expect me to get a free ride. They wanted me to work as hard as they did for their education because they knew I would appreciate it that much more. Plus the difference here is night and day. I had a middle class family to fall back on which my father never had. They helped me a bit. But they sure as hell refused to pay a dime for private college as mostly they just saw it as a waste of money. If I Wanted something like that, that bad, I Could figure it out. I needed to contribute heavily to my education at first, and then completely after the first year (As well as move out and support myself as an adult. Why not, they had done it from day 1).

Fast Forwarding to today, I have too many friends who can't pay their bills, but have thousands and even hundreds of thousands saved for their kids' college. That is just crazy! Because my parents managed their money much better I don't expect to be supporting them in old age. I truly appreciate that they did not go broke over my college. I have too many friends who had expensive colleges paid for who are now cleaning up the financial mess their parents made.

My point being overall, if you want to save for your kids' college, so be it. It will be a great gift. Just keep in mind that it will not be a great gift to your children if you go into financial ruin over it. Also, keep in mind having parents who made me work a little harder for my college degree was the best gift they ever made me. IT made me a very strong, self-sufficient person. Plus I sure as hell learned to live on a shoestring which is invaluable.

I haven't saved a dime for my kids' college yet, and likely will never earmark a dollar specifically for college for the kids. BUT I can guarantee that they will have opportunities tenfold the opportunities that either I or my parents had. Before you throw stones just know my oldest son already has more in a college account started by grandma than my entire education cost. I think it is pretty overkill. But since they have more wealth to share now, and we are so much further ahead of the game than they were at this point in the game, I am not too worried about it. Even without grandma's money I would feel the same. But it brings a point that someone not saving money for their kids' college and not intending to finance it all, does not a bad parent make. Too often this whole thing is seen as so black and white. There are many shades of gray.

& obviously, I get a little emotional on the subject too.

So there you have it. I think all these myths can really be summed up in one main rule - don't get too emotional about college decisions. That's when you pay far more than you should for your child's education. Look at things a little more critically, do your best, know your child can survive as an adult, be confident that you raised them well, etc., etc.

If you really wanna pay for the best schools and not have them work a day, go for it. Just please don't sacrifice your own life for something that may not be appreciated, or even used. I have too many high school friends who turned their fancy paid-for educations into minimum wage retails jobs. Too many parents are blindly financing educations for just that - minimum wage dead-end jobs. IT seems to be an epidemic in the middle class society I grew up in where parents valued fancy educations beyond everything else, including the outcome of said education. Hopefully my experiences can help other parents avoid the same mistakes.

Man, am I burned out. Work is crazy, feeling behind. I think the worst is everyone else thinks I should be free and have tons of time, but I don't. My boss reminded me he would pay me another bonus if I worked more overtime. LOL. Is that a hint? Well, I always look at the bright side. Though I wanted to cut back my hours, I guess doing the opposite and working more isn't the worst, if it means more pay. I really could squeeze out another $400/month or so if I just went to work an hour early every day. THat is what I really should do.

The thing is that is not a terrible schedule overall, but the baby has just been so difficult and not sleeping well at all. IT comes and goes, but this was not a good week. If I could actually get a decent night sleep on most nights I could probably accomplish twice as much as I have been. Instead I am in a fog and just too behind and overwhelmed. I have been pretty miserable and not very posty. I think mostly I Am spread too thin. I don't like feeling like I am doing a half-assed job everywhere. Ever since I had my second child I just don't handle stress very well - still hormonal stuff I guess. So I am frustrated I don't feel like myself either. I find myself vegging a little too much and feeling a little too sorry for myself which just pisses me off more, because I am becoming what I hate. I just need to get off my butt and do more, but I just haven't been very productive, because I am a little depressed, and just doesn't help the cycle.

I also skipped aerobics class all week -- my word. I told dh I was so excited that I only had to pay when I show up, but he pointed out yesterday maybe that was bad - LOL. It really is - the reason I signed up is I figured if I had to pay I would go. I really wanted to tone up a bit and shed some pounds before the cruise. Instead I think I am gaining weight. But again, obviously sitting around and skipping aerobics is not helping me.

I think mostly I am stressed about work. I was very happy to have an easy job and little responsibility. I am resigned to the fact that more responsibility is probably best for my career, and my income. & my boss needs help, too bad I am the only reliable one. I think I am mostly frustrated though because I wanted to be cutting back my hours and not doing so much at work. But my boss needs me, what can I do. HE is trying. He is hiring a CPA in North Dakota and even looking into outsourcing lower level work to India. The shortage of qualified help is insane. The good side of ever increasing pay and incredible flexibility has reached the tipping point. The flexibility only works when other employees shoulder the burden. I got paid $35/hour to play receptionist on Monday because I was the lowest level employee available when 3 people called in sick. LOL. My boss and his wife were appalled when they got back from lunch - where was everyone. Everyone was home sick and the receptionist had to run client stuff to the post office. But that's how it's been. We have 10 employees today. I think we had 15 when I started 5 years ago. Monday there were only 2 of us in the office at 2:00, that was when I got reception duty.

The workload may be down a bit, and efficiency may be up a bit. But then again we have more less qualified employees today as well. Oh well, I don't know if I can ever slide along at easy 40-hour weeks again. Just too much to do, not enough people to help. Still way better than any other CPA firm I have ever seen (most tend to push 60-hour weeks easy). But all the same I have gotten used to a pretty easy work schedule the last few years, as has the family got used to it. THey really resist me working more, which of course stresses me out too.

So that's everything here.

Pretty much blah.

I have been trying to get together with our realtor for about 6 months since he has kids our age. A simple playdate at the park would do. ANyway, they invited us to a BBQ today. IT should be fun. BUT I am tempted to cancel because I feel so behind. But I resist the urge. IT is ridiculous we met him about a year ago - we were looking at houses last year. & only now we get the kids together. Actually, it was kind of funny, I met his wife separately and didn't put 2 and 2 together right away - and yeah we have all been saying the kids need to meet one of these days. We'll see if they hit it off. We need to resume some socialness. I think we usually find we get so exhausted with life we rather hang around home. Then again dh and I are big homebodies. It is BM who is Mr. Social Pants and we try to be more social for him. But it is good for us too. We need to get out more, no doubt. SO hopefully today will be fun!

Oh yeah, and neighbors sold their house. I am dying to see what they got for it. They said they took a knocking, but knowing they paid closer to $300k and asked for $625k (5 years later), I am not too worried about them. Will be curious though as it was only up about a month, if that. I Tell you the 3-bedrooms here SIT - many on the market for more than a year. Neighbor's house is 3000sf, sold without a prob... Who knew... The old adage that small houses always sell is just so not true around here. I am relieved we have a more high-end house because what it comes down to is only move-up buyers are buying right now. But we'll see...

Oh yeah, but I forgot to say - I am taking next Friday off. Good or bad - I don't know - depends if I feel more caught up. Have to get my filling back home. So will probably spend the morning with family and then drive down alone. I really look forward to it (well except for the whole dentist part - drilling, expenses and all) - will probably spend the night with my parents since the drive was so pleasant in the morning last time. I really look forward to a good 24 hours away from it all - ALONE! & a 3-day weekend after that as well. I Would like to just be home, 3 days, no work. Catch up around the house - just behind on everything.

& our cruise can not come fast enough - I am just ready for a vacation!!!!!!! Dh and I are salivating at being away from the kids for about 5 days - twice as long as we ever have. We'll miss them terribly. HEck, we'll probably be bored out of our minds - LOL. But look forward to it all the same... The cruise ship seems to have PLENTY to keep us occupied - that is for sure. But you know, 24 hours a day with no responsibilities, I am not sure we will really know what the heck to do with ourselves. Overall though I expect the break/refresher will be really nice and we will be happy to get back home too. I think I will be content to eat to my heart's content and spend some time in the gym. Luckily my 2 favorite pasttimes are pretty complementary - I usually work out enough to allow extra eating - just not so much lately with kids and family to tend to. But I hope to be active and enjoy, and spend some time lounging on the beach too - nothing I love more than a nap on the beach... Just 4 more weeks......

Which reminds me I want to spring clean and ebay and craigslist and all that, but nothing pays better than my job - - so I think I will survive (& said overtime). I just look forward to cleaning out the house a bit is all...

Well, I peeked yesterday and my IRA transfer has not gone through. As you will recall, Fidelity was so difficult I just bought D&C through them, $75 fee and all, I was tired of being out of the market. Bruce Fund was much nicer and willing to send a request 3 times in a row (as opposed to DC's 1 whimpy failed attempt). But when it hadn't cleared yesterday during the day I started to fear the worst. This internal battle if I should just keep my money at Fidelity for a while for ease (though resigned to the fact I am p.o.ed and likely to move my money down the road) or if I should leave immediately in protest or what. But none of this matters now because I was updating Quicken this morning and a $4500 left my Fidelity account last night. Woohoo!!!!!!!!!

& so go my adventures in investing in the Bruce FUnd. VEry interesting little fund - had to invest through them directly I believe.

Now my conundrum is I have a Traditional IRA account at Dodge & Cox with NO money in it. I was considering contributing $1k just to keep it open. & when the smoke clears, and now that I know I can do a transfer, and I know how to now without getting rejected, LOL, eventually I would probably transfer from Fidelity too. But in the meantime I have a conundrum. Sure it is aggressive to move the money from the efund for that, but it's good. So we get $15k in our retirement this year instead of $14k, nothing wrong with that. But, all the same, my ability to contribute to a traditional IRA hedges on the outcome of the rest of the year. Plus I wanted to convert all my IRAs to ROTHs this year anyway. So can I make a traditional IRA now and then convert it? Maybe, I guess, but so many what-ifs about the year.

I think my best bet is to call D&C and see if I can convert the account to a ROTH before I send in money. Tell them my conundrum and my intentions and that I no longer want to transfer assets from Fidelity. We'll see.

Plus if I use that money it lessens the money I will have for taxes for a ROTH conversion. So I may be best off just closing the D&C account and forgetting about it this year. Why does it have to be so complicated?

I also got a BT offer in the mail yesterday from WAMU. They said they want to give me a $30k credit line. IT does sound interesting, I want to research it a bit more. Of course in fine print they say the average CL is $4k. So what are the odds? If I could get $10k+ I am so in though. Considering asking for $15k BT and see what I get - will research a bit first. This one would have a $75 transfer fee, but seems not too bad, since it would be interest-free for 1 year. Would make in the realm of $500. I don't mind $75. Plus interest on the $75 for 1 year - it couldn't be that bad could it? Of course maybe I should just ask for $30k - then it would really be worth it.

Oh, but back to retirement, it has been hovering around $53k. Not bad. If I can just keep my job another 7 months or so I get a $10k contribution this year as I fully vest. It's exciting as we near our first six figures in retirement! 2-3 years off, and depends on the market, but getting there!

YEah, they installed this giant ride right off the freeway that is REALLY distracting when you are driving down a very busy stretch. but when I was in San Jose last weekend I was reading this funny article, in the paper, about a ride that looked exactly this same - this monstrosity that just spins around. & then when I looked closer I realized the article was about the Sacramento one - LOL.

The gist:

"The Scandia Family Fun Center, which operates a super thrill ride (168 feet high, spinning at 60 miles an hour, pulling 3.5 g’s) called the Screamer, in Sacramento, Calif., decided in March that because of neighborhood residents’ noise complaints, riders would be prohibited from screaming (and subject to ejection from the park)."

The article we read didn't say anything about expulsions from the park. Dh and I were joking how would they enforce that rule. Seriously? No screaming? LOL. I guess they enforce it with expulsion from the place? LOL. That's just too much!

No screaming on the Screamer... What next.

Which reminds me, I am kind of crazy. LOL. I told dh I want nothing for mother's Day. You notice we will go out and buy what we want - like a HDTV - hehe - on ocassion, but most holidays we really don't buy each other much or even want much. I think for the most part we are just happy with what we have overall, and can afford what we want in a sense, holidays really annoy me when people start asking me for lists. I frankly would be more pleased if everyone would donate in my name than pile on the material goods that I don't want anyway. We can be a little scroogey I guess. But I don't really remember the last time dh or I bought each other a gift for a particular holiday or event. So we were arguing because I Said I really just don't want anything. Like peace and quiet would be the nicest - LOL. Nothing material though PLEASE!!!! & he was going on and on he has to get me something. Maybe joking. But anyway, I decided roll up gym mat might be nice for my aerobics class. Something I really couldn't justify otherwise, but could make a nice gift - so I told dh that was what he had ot get me basically. LOL. Well, either that or nothing.

Then I decided it had been a LONG while since we had a date night and maybe we could try a night next week. OF course when I think about it I do just cringe. In the range of $35 for a night away with the kids. Blows our budget out of the water before we even decide what to do. But figured it had been a while and maybe we should splurge this month, in the name of Mother's Day - sure - why not. So I mentioned it to dh last night and he says, well what do you want to do? I said well, my first instinct is to go to the nice Indian place, but no way it will fit int he budget. It is ridiculous that with dinner out and babysititng the night could top $80. That is just insane. We'll go for Indian next time the grandparents visit - free babysitting. Then we were talking movie. Still a good $50+ night, but a little more easy to stomach. Thing is all the movies out there suck. I really don't want to watch a movie. All dh wants to see is GrindHouse and I sure as hell don't want to see that. LOL. So then he says, how about GolfLand? Eh, it just doesn't sound very appealing to me. Now you must know he proposed to me at Golfland and was one of our cheap date hangouts in college - LOL. But, I don't know, just doesn't sound very fun. IF we were back home we would have the nostalgic factor, but eh, not here. & then he mentioned bowling. Which again, I don't know why, sounds bad. We were like, well we could just enjoy quiet time at home. IT doesn't even have to be scandalous - LOL - just a quiet dinner at home. But we realized we just have so much to do without the kids around, around the house, we would not spend any time together. LOL. So it's official, we are pathetic. I am like, we don't know how to get out of the house any more, do we? Nope. LOL.

WE will probably just got for a more affordable dinner out in the area of the babysitter, but I don't know. It doesn't even sound that appealing. We go out a lot with the grandparents watching the kids. Well usually anyway. But when you got to shell out $35 for a night out it suddenly doesn't seem that important I guess. But it is important, and we'll figure something out. One of these days. NExt week is shot so we will try the following week. We are still so particular with babysitter and Ms. daycare only does Tues - Thurs night (but donates the money to a family in Africa which I have to keep in perspective - it's more than just paying for care) and then a friend we trade with on occassion, but it is just so exhausting when it is our turn to babysit - LOL. & the grandparents are always great but I think with tax season and all we just haven't got out much. Sounds like it is time to ask them for help with a night out!

Weird. I think that I REALLY underestimate the amount of exercise I do with 2 small kids - LOL. All the heavy lifting and such. I got in such a funk during tax season where I would just go home and veg, I felt like I did so much sitting which in general is not what I do - I am generally quite active. So I figure I must be in horrible shape and the usual 5-pounds from tax season arrived. I generally gain a few pounds Jan - April, and then work it off the rest of the year. So it goes, except I have a good round 20 pregancy pounds too - 10 from each baby.
I worked off an additional 10 I gained from whacked out hormones and PPD after my second was born, which is great, but I still have 10 pounds from him all the same - which is depressing. If I was toned and in shape though, would be better. I don't get too hung up on weight. But I am horribly horribly out of shape and not eating great either - that is the bad.

Well, so I thought.

I went to aerobics the other night and it seriously kciked my butt. I mean it was intense, and last week I Was sore all week (only went once). But since the next morning I haven't felt a pain. Really weird. Not sore at all. Anyway, I was trying to tone it down and go slow as not to hurt myself, but I am thinking maybe tonight I should just push myself more. LOL. I expected more pain. All I Can figure is I am in better shape than I thought.

I would really like to get out and walk more too. Been so busy and also the weather has been horrid (HOT). Which reminds me the pool will open in a couple of weeks too. Will have to do more walking and swimming in the coming months. I worked off those last 10 pounds by walking mostly. As only now I can bring myself to spend so much time away from my family working out. But it has been so WONDERFUL just to do something for myself. The ladies joked that they didn't want to come to class this weekend because it was Mother's Day. But I feel different. I would consider it a gift to go to class - hehe.

We've had the a/c running the last couple of days. Ugh. IT is BAD news when it gets this hot so early on. I am not looking forward to another Sacramento summer. BAck home the weather rarely wavered below 60 or above 80 year-round. I miss it terribly. I really want to get a convertible one of these days but I Can't say I would really get much use of it. Out of the question in the 100 degree heat. Oh yeah I see people driving on the hottest days with the tops down but I think they must be insane. LOL. Back home I drove with the top down almost every day of the year. So sometimes I wonder if it is really worth it - if I would really use it. The weather this year has been particularly extreme, for the area.

Oh anyway, I was watching Work Out last night (reality show) and a girl around my weight anyway (not necessarily my shape or size overall) had lost 10 pounds and the difference was amazing. That is the kind of motivation I need. If 10 pounds would transform my body that drastically, then I am sold. I just haven't been very motivated. I thought my cruise would motivate me more, eh. Before I could eat whatever I want and exercise and be good to go. This is not the case anymore. Old age and hormones working against me. I have been eating in, eating dh's dinners, working out. Hopefully I will show some progress, but I probably need to do more. #1 is cut back the soda. Dh insisted on buying me full cans and 2-litres out of saving money. I Was doing so good drinking a little can every day, but since the switch and stress of tax season I have spiraled to 1-2 full cans a day, maybe more. I am so annoyed with dh - I kept telling him the expense meant nothing compared to my health and I would work on cutting back further in the summer. Now I am eons behind. I am doing better, slowly but surely. I guess my first goal should be to get down to 1 can a day, and less from there. I Can't do things cold turkley - it just doesn't work for me - slow and steady always wins the race. Anyway, I keep telling my brain to stop drinking so much soda, probably my only real obstacle at this point as I am doing so much better than usual on everything else. But it is really a psychologoical crutch. Food is my issue and always will be. I have been eating better but I have replaced it all with soda - soda feels good! LOL. But I did read JEffrey said he drank 1 glass of water whenever he craved soda. Would not deny the soda, he would just have to drink a glass of water first, and then he would want the soda less. I will have to try that. Going back to smaller cans would help too. I feel bad wasting things and so basically I would never throw out a soda. I got those toppers but they don't work so well in keeping the carbonation in. I am trying 2 litres but they disappear real fast - but might be the way to go. Oh really I should just go out and buy myself some small cans. Dh will just never understand. IT may be crazy and psychologicical but all I know is it works!! The cost is nothing compared to my happiness, health and peace of mind. But this is my big true battle right now. Hopefully a few weeks in aerobics though and I will start to see a difference and get motivated.

Oh thought this looked fun. I guess I have never left the states except one trip to Europe when I was around 21. Some near opportunities that I missed were an opportunity to travel a month in Europe, a month in India, and most recently my dad invited me to Japan but couldn't leave the little one nor take the time off work after so many months of maternity leave. He has been to Asia many times, as my hubby has, and so I hope I will get an opportunity some day. I probably regret missing India the most as such a unique opportunity.



My dh has actually done a lot of traveling because his aunt is a nun who has been stationed all across the world, and he also worked for a Malaysian company for while. As for me I have many friends who love to travel, but the timing never seems to work out - the downside of being too responsible too young - - kids and work always in the way.

Well, next month I will get to add Mexico to my map - woohoo. I have no idea why I have never been to Canada. Gosh, it seems like I should have, but I haven't! I do have a few friends up there... Will make it some day.



As far as states I am sure I forgot a few - had to stop and think on a few since I have visited so many cities, without much thought to states. I love New York and had a friend whose mom lives out there in NJ so have made the trek a couple of times with her. I also took a Greyhound from Tennessee to NY once which I would not recommend - LOL. Went to New Orleans once. DC once (Virginia, Maryland, etc.), Florida once. Boston from New York once. Absolutely loved Boston. I think I could live on the east coast. Except for the cold anyway - hehe. Family in Coloroado and Kansas, which we drove to from Cali MANY times so included all those states. Been to Las Vegas a few times, and on some road trips up through Washington & Oregon a few times. Oh yes - Hawaii twice! Finally, have a couple of friends in UTah - so been there a couple of times. & California I have just been all over - I love road trips in general. Just hard to leave the state because it is so big - LOL. A 6-hour drive to southern california. Going east is just desert and boring for the most part. Though Tahoe & Sierra Nevada is beautiful, I can admit that. I guess I Drive over that border often as well.

Oh yeah and my sister moved to NC a few years back and the airfare is cheap so we tend to go quite often - at least once a year anyway.

I don't think I have much else on my list to see but Alaska. I would love to go on an Alaskan cruise some day. Maybe Texas to knock out the south, and maybe up north. I should have been able to go to Chicago for my first job but got passed over the first time, slipped through the cracks because I switched departments, and then I left like 1 month before some big Florida trip. Figures - LOL. All the accounting firms though seem to have training up in Chicago - bummer I didn't get the chance to go. But due to my adversity to cold weather none of the northern states really draw me in I guess. I don't really have a burning desire to go north, but Alaska just sounds so interesting I guess. The exception.

Asia, Australia, Africa (the As) would probable be next on my list, but not for a long, long while. Dh and I have more domestic destinations planned to share with the kids, and figure maybe in retirement, or at least once the kids have flown the nest, we want to do some more foreign travel.

Got a $15 check in the mail. Probably a rebate. Rebates don't go to my challenge (I am a rebate hog from way back). I must admit this was a slow rebate though - I think it is from January. I don't know about idiots though wanting to reform rebate rules and change them. Duh - the reason they take time and effort is so few people use them, and the rest of us profit. Start demanding easier rebates and they'll just disappear. Can't say I have ever had a problem, not exactly rocket science. Fill out the form, send it in, wait. Make copies just in case there is a problem - though I have never had to use said copies myself. Anyway, my rant for the day I guess. In better times I would get $20-$30 a month in rebates. But dh has been curbing his electronics spending so not so many of late.

I paid all the bills for May, all I knew of. I lucked out and the Community Center class charges didn't hit the card before closing, which means I basically had the cash to pay all bills, including unexpected $800 car repair bill, just about down to the penny. No savings this month, but it is a small miracle I don't need to pull from savings for the car. No complaints here. Funny how often things just work out. Since I tend to pay the preschool after the first of the month, I am still considering giving $100 to kiva.org this month. Can do that with cash on hand for now. With that and my impending dentist visit, I don't expect to save much next month either.

Paid the credit card bill - well - set it to pay electronically after my paycheck on the 15th. I don't like paying so close (1 week) before due date. I, um, I don't know. Things won't turn around for while - next month is shot. It was a problem getting my deposit in last week as well, in time for mortgage payment. BUT I noticed that my credit union is open until 5:30 so I ran to the bank around 5 - not even that crowded. I think that will save me - I can do that in the summer. Sometimes I send dh to the bank for me, but BM was home sick so not an option last week. I really usually just mail my deposits - but not an option with bills due so close to pay day. I just don't like it, it puts me on edge. I may just withdraw the money from savings after all (means it will sit in my checking at no interest, but will give me more peace of mind and ease - I like not worrying about depositing my paycheck for weeks if I don't have to! ). Anyway, I may just do that once I get the credit card balance transfer earning interest.

Oh yes - but back to my credit card statement I just got - I am just $3 away from a $250 cash back reward. Woohoo. I think I will just earmark that for fun money for the cruise and hope it is enough. Hey - all we had to do was spend about $300 more to make it this month. I think if I hadn't paid off the TV already it would have been a $4k bill - believe me - didn't need another $300. But we are so close! Heck, I should earmark that for the dentist and try to save my earmarked $450 next month. I'd probably happy just to sleep and eat on the cruise - LOL - just be nice to get away and have no worries for the week. But I thought it might be fun to splurge on an excursion or something. I guess we'll see...

Amazingly enough, I had a most marvelous weekend. Lord knows how because it was also quite trying - LOL. I also have a number of pictures to share, but will get to that later.

Wednesday dh threw out his back. I was just packing up at work around 4:45 thinking I was ready to go when dh called asking when I was leaving, because he threw his back out around 3:00 but the kids were waking up and he think he needed some help. Lucky for him I was on the way out. He might have been okay Thursday, though completely unable to pick up the kids, so I just called in sick. My vacation day was Friday and long overdue, I figured I'd extend it a bit. Sure I could have tried to go to work at nap time or bring some work home, but frankly, wouldn't have been very productive, probably more in the name of feeling better than really getting any work done. So I eagerly took the day off. Of course it has been so long I took a day off without much dh help, and I had forgotten how exhausting a day with kids was - LOL. They wore me out pretty quick.

Friday we went to Monterey. I was going with or without dh. In fact I really encouraged him not to go. But he really wanted to go. The car ride was absolute hell. Dh had taken the baby seat out when he got the t.v. and was in no shape to put it back in. But I was insistent on driving the van, terrible gas mileage and all. It has built-in car seats. The seats are great except for the fact that there is no head rest. So the kids hadn't slept much the night before (BM was too excited and LM sense it I guess). So they were exhausted. Talked BM into the booster seat with head rest, but LM had little option. I brought a blanket and a towel to help his head but he wasn't having it, so I sat next to him while he screamed his head off. HE finally fell asleep and I made a nice pillow with the towel, but I was getting SO car sick and dh was really in no shape to drive. So we switched places (3rd or 4th stop at this time - 3 hour drive) and so of course he woke up when we stopped, etc. I think I stopped to pee too but forgot to ask BM if he needed to use the potty (doh - obviously we don't do this often) so we had to stop again for him soon after - LOL. So anyway, most of the last hour LM whimpered as dh was of little help with his inability to move his back much - but we FINALLY made it. Kids were not on much sleep and not much of a nap in the car - but they had an aboslute BLAST - so I guess the trip was a success. The coolest thing too is the Aquarium long ago had a big round pool the bat rays would swim around and you could pet them, but was gone last time. Dh said he thought they were coming back, but weren't on the map so I just thought he was crazy. But they were there. The kids got soaked reaching in their arms trying to pet them, but got a couple - a very good experience. They are just so friendly, they come over and pop their head out - kids just loved it - so did the adults. The last time we went BM was 1 - we went because they had a great white shark on exhibit, and it was just a crowded mess. But going on a Friday was absolutely MARVELOUS. Not too crowded, and just very pleasant. I think after a while BM got sick of all the fish, but LM could have stayed their for days - he loved it. They had lots of interactive exhibits for the bouncy one.

We splurged on lunch, and dessert, before we went home, at Ghiradelli. Between that and gas and aquarium, gosh, we spent around $200 I am sure. A very spendy day, but once in a while you just got to do something like that.

We had a miserable 1-hour car ride back to MIL's where we ate Chinese and went to bed. I had to get up with LM twice but was the best night he has had their in ages. We just try not to sleep anywhere but home lately, he has been so bad, but luckily there is a bed next to the crib in the spare room, so when he got up, I just laid on the bed next to him and he went back to sleep. Would have just stayed there but worried I would keep him awake with snoring or something - hehe. So anyway, what this means is the last few times we have visited the fam we have been miserable and we are always trying to time driving with naps and such. This trip was opposite. We actually got a good nights rest and then we decided NOT to drive home at nap time with the car seat situation - LOL. So in the morning we went hiking. It was an interesting experiment is BM LOVES hiking, but we have held off as LM (who is quite big and heavy) wasn't even walking a few months ago, and certainly not ready for a big hike. So we had the idea to try this nice little park in San Jose foothills, something very easy. So we went with my parents in the morning and worked out because LM had an absolute freak out. BM is running way up ahead - nothing will stop him, and LM refused to walk after a point - LOL. Going with my dad I figured at least we could take turns carrying him if it was too much for him, but he refused to let anyone but I carry him - dh couldn't carry him. Ugh. So my mom and I quickly turned around. I finally lured him with fruit loops - told him if he would walk I would give him "candy" and he liked the fruit loops and accepted them as candy. So he actually walked down most of the way until a wind came up and freaked him out again. He is almost 2, and a little sensitive, but a little overboard yesterday - think he was just exhausted, maybe not feeling well. So of course we went home only to find my mom didn't have the keys to the house - LOL - so we went to 7-11 and I bought some milk and gave LM a bottle, trying to calm him down. Then we picked up the herd and went to lunch! We treated my parents to buffet (least we could do) and gorged ourselves. LM was a little moody through lunch but the funniest thing was he smeared beans all across his face and hair. He ALWAYS gets food in his hair so nothing new, but I took him to the bathroom for a scrub down and some lady asked me what happened to him - LOL. Food - silly. Food happened to him - LOL.

Anyway, after lunch back to my folks place, where usually the point in the trip where dh and I feel like collapsing and my parents aren't really sure if we should drive home. But I was feeling pretty good. We succeeded in getting the kids down for a nap and had some nice quiet time with my parents, and it was a really pleasant time.

Kids probably woke up at 5, but my grandma called and we chatted for a long while, and we didn't end up leaving until 6. Kids sat together in the back for the 2-hour drive and had a blast together - just so cute - getting so interactive - LM was in the best mood he had been all weekend - phew. Came home, ate dinner, bed, and kids did not wake up once - so I am feeling even better today - actually got some sleep!

Anyway, the crazy part is while we were there I saw some Festival is going on next weekend that every year I see the signs, and I always have conflicting plans. This year I don't have any, except with gas prices, and after such a spendy weekend, I am not sure I want to add a 3rd trip to the month of May. But dh got all excited about it, a day alone with BM to do big kid things. Who knew. So anyway, I am thinking of going down alone with LM next weekend. Only if it seems he will be in a better mood though. & I will have to take dh's car for gas economy AND a good carseat - hehe. Well, something to think about.

Oh yeah - I did do my aerobics class and also had quite a workout Friday and Saturday so dh had a point - maybe just getting out and getting some fresh air energized us a little. Getting a 4-day weekend certainly helped I think. I just really needed it. Phew.

I just saw Jeffrey's post on KIVA, which was great because I had seen that before and thought it looked great, but so busy paying off the car and building up e-fund, etc. Put it on the back burner for later. I think now is time, as we have met many more goals than intended already for the year. Will probably start with $100 for now. & at the end of the year see if we can up it. I will also have to send the link to BM's preschool, the lady there, I think she would love something like that, if she hasn't heard of it. I just thought of her because they donate all their extra babysitting income to a family in Africa, and go on a lot of missions, etc. I think she would enjoy giving through that channel. Will spread the word, indeed. For me, so interesting to give in a way that is so renewable. I love the idea that $100 can go on to help many many people. But if I don't get it back, is for a good cause...

Hmmm, I think I will go back to tracking spending here/sharing more, now that I have more time.

Well, just put almost $150 on the card. Paid the diaper service. (I put everything on the card for rebate money - am due $250 in just a month or so - woohoo!!!).

& since we decided to sign up LM for toddler class this month when I looked up the # I saw the community center had the summer catalog. So I looked through and found oodles of classes for the kids. Good thing so cheap.

One thing BM has been wanting to try is MArtial Arts, and gymnastics. When he turns 4 in the summer there will be lots more options, but there is a little Toddler one, one night a week, we will give it a whirl. Will make it a hectic day, but oh well. I also saw the swim catalog and surfed the web a little as I wasn't as pleased with the community center's swim lessons last time. He's turning 4 and I think really he should know how to swim this summer. The plus side is his preschool got a pool late last summer, and worked with him, and we have a community pool. So we can work with him, and his preschool will too. But I looked up the YMCA (where I learned to swim at 4 or 5) & it was insanely expensive!!! Wow! I think the private lessons offered at our pool are cheaper, and I think it is a very important skill so maybe I will call the homeowners association and see if they are offering lessons this year or what. May be worth it. Or we will just take the cheap community center ones, watch what they are attempting to teach, and work with him I guess. We could do that. We can work with him a lot this summer, it is nice having access to a pool just down the street!

I also have pretty much avoided gym memberships and workout classes since having kids due to time and costs. Last year I was still breastfeeding (hard to get away much more than for work), spent 18 months pregnant the last few years, etc. But the aerobics class is only $2.50 a class or $30/month for 12 hours a month. So I called dh and asked if he would mind terribly if I spent 2 nights a week at aerobics, and a saturday morning too (usually let him sleep in because I am an early bird - well he can still sleep in sundays).

Anyway, he didn't really care or mind, so I signed up and start tomorrow. I have been wanting to get back into it and get in shape, but just no motivation. Shelling out the money and having to go to class 3 days a week, is the motivation I need. $2.50/class - can't beat it. Hopefully it works out!

So 1 class each for us was about $30 each - so just charged almost $150 to the card with that and diapers.

I think for BM we might try gymnastics and martial arts this summer. Most of the classes we have taken through the community center have been so excellent and affordable, I hope the martial arts is the same - he will be so excited. & he can try out the gymnastics too later in the summer. Plus we will be working on some swimming. Busy busy busy I guess. For the long run probably make him choose one or the other, but he has seen karate on t.v. and thinks it is way cool. Of course he tries to imitate crazy gymnastic moves too, sometimes worry he is going to break his neck, so that will be a good outlet too. There's a nice kid's gym down the street from my work, but it cost twice as much. & the martial arts is even worse. So we'll give the cheaper option a whirl and see how he enjoys. As long as we're paying for preschool is probably the best he will get.

Gosh, I don't remember the last time I did something so for ME! 3 days a week for me, to get in shape. Hehe - I am excited. I kind of miss just going to the gym - I love working out and am a gym girl, etc. But just hasn't been in the cards for years. So something like a cheap aerobics class makes me giddy. I have to get on my neighbor's case too. She has a dance studio in her home and offered to teach aerobics to some of us moms on the weekends. I should bug her too, to get on that. Now that would be convenient!

Before forget, you knew I was perusing craigslist the other day (was looking at cars - well at least dh and I both have our own downfalls - which we really do keep to a minimum - I swear - LOL). But while looking at the convertibles, and even considering going for something cheaper and lesser quality so I can buy one sooner (eh, decided against it) I started perusing rest of Craigslist and skimmed the want ads. There were a handful of adds offering $65k to bookkeepers. What in holy hell??? That's how much I made last year 5 years as a CPA - LOL. Anyway, I am looking at the ads and scratching my head. But the interesting this is most of the ads were from CPA firms, and in fact we have been looking for some experienced bookkeepers as well. We just can't find enough CPAs, and well, if we can find anyone who can do the work, as long as the CPAs oversee it, is all that matters. But with not enough interest, we are really upping the ante.

So what does my CPA license and degree buy me today? Maybe a few thousand a year for now, which is good. Definitely a lot more with time and more responsibility. But in the interim, I just have to say if you didn't go the CPA route and you enjoy bookkeeping, go check the want ads. Holy cow! You aren't doing 1/2 bad. I was just telling my mom last night about this since my sister just got her AA degree in accounting. Of course, with no experience, she won't get any of these jobs. But it is interesting. The industry is just crazy right now - and they keep saying like 1/2 of the CPAs are retiring in the next decade. I think it will be nearly impossible to strike a work/life balance in this unfortunate set of circumstances. Sure the pay and job stability is amazing, but the lack of qualified workers is pretty hard to work around all the same - my boss says this was the WORST tax season he has ever had in 30 years, and he lost a lot of clients to retirement these last few years. Of course maybe as so much of the workforce retires, it will kind of work itself out. ???

But anyway, I am not big on lots of responsibility. I would love to just drop back and be a bookkeeper. Frankly, is why I love my job. I have felt like a glorified bookkeeper - paid very well for easier work - in years past. But these days more and more responsibility pushed my way. As long as I have a CPA designation there is probably no way around that - I just have to get used to it. I expect a big raise next year thought - wow! I didn't see anyone paying my job more (in the ads) than $75k which is about what I will gross this year with my bonus. But it is kind of cool to know I could downgrade my job and not lose much income. Makes me wonder if we should demand bigger raises still in coming years. The industry has just been in overhaul, I have hardly had anything less than a 5-10% raise as is, and it doesn't seem to be slowing down - that is the crazy thing.

Well, today is the first day of "normal" in months. I am going to take BM to preschool and leave early to pick him up.

I don't plan to work past 5 all week!

I may even come home for lunch 1 day this week.

& I will sign up baby for his toddler class this month. Might as well, I can break away from work and go with him.

Ah, back to normalcy.

& if the week goes well I might even take Friday off!!! Woohoo. Still have to see how the workload and deadlines go. I have a tax appointment tomorrow too - ugh - procrastinators - LOL.

I think I am going to bite the bullet and apply for credit cards and see how it goes. I am going to apply for one with 9-month free balance transfer and $100 in gift cards and dh is going to apply for a 12-month 0% BT & $50 gift card. I am going with citi card because it seems they are the EASIEST to get a check, and they definitely have no fees, etc.

My plan is for next year for both of us to apply for Discover cards so we can do a BT to the old cards and extend it out for another year.

Then we're going to pay them off AND cancel the cards, and see what that does to our credit score. & then cool it for a while. I couldn't play that game on and on and have a ton of cards. We were originally going to just test one of our credit scores, but we decided it really didn't matter. I don't know. Last time we borrowed a lot of money, paid it off and closed it in a short time our credit shot up to the 800s so overall I am not too worried. But we'll definitely keep an eye on the score and proceed slowly. The gift cards (Target!!) will be a nice perk! I was going to let dh use one to get a game controller for the PS3 ($50?) but he just found a way to get one for free - so go dh.

The unfortunate thing is that I have to apply for the cards, get them, and make a purchase, to get the gift cards. Then will pay it off and do the BT. So no cash for a couple of months. I read the blog instructions and the fine print on the cards like 100 times to be sure, and now I am ready. How exciting! I hope we both get $5k - $10k, but who really knows... I'll let you know!

I used to think it was so awesome to be debt free, and lately I keep saying, well "I am debt free except the loan that I choose not to pay because I make more in the bank." But you know what - I am just going to say I am debt free. This does not count - LOL. I am going to borrow the money, put it in the bank, and not touch it. Or should I just start saying I have all good debt for leverage. It's funny when I joined here I was like, I don't want to be wealthy, I just want to live and retire comfortably. I guess that is still my goal, but I am sitting back and thinking about the big picture more. Where once I would not consider carrying any debt it is quite a mind-shift, and wealth-building attitude, to use low interest debt to our advantage.

I feel confident as I have never paid a credit card fee in 14 years of card ownership. Pay the bills on time, read the fine print, just doesn't seem very hard. All the same I still have a fear, what if I screw up - the fees could be nasty. So we'll see. At least we'll get some gift cards - LOL. I even told dh I was going to put the BT transfer info with our will stuff so if something happens it gets paid right away. I can just imagine our family's surprise if they found we had $20k in cc debt - what the heck??? LOL. & I will make sure dh knows when the bills are due and where the money is in case something happens to me. Maybe a little overkill, but just don't want it to bite us in the ass for ANY reason. Not even to our estate if something happens to us- wouldn't give the credit card companies the satisfaction of squeezing a dime from us for any reason. Oh yeah, I probably hesitate because of my overall disdain for them, but all the more reason to take free money from them I guess.

Um, apparently the freeway melted and collapsed from a giant tanker truck fire. Who knew that could even happen? Luckily was 3am - sounds like so far no one was hurt?

http://www.pleasantonweekly.com/news/show_story.php?id=134

Yikes!!!!

ETA: Still say no one was hurt or killed (except truck driver who walked away from the scene - he isn't so bad off...).

Amazing.

Oh yeah, it is a bad sign when you have to turn on the a/c in April. Yikes. It was a hot weekend and we waited it out, but last night it was up to 85 in the house so I turned on the ac for a bit to cool off the upstairs for the kids, before bed. Good move since I later opened the window but the neighbors were LOUD last night, and quickly closed the window - hehe. The 10-15 minutes of a/c did the trick and kept the house comfortable for the night. It's 77 in here right now and quite comfortable, as long as I don't do too much work in the house. Was over 90 outside yesterday - ick. The summers where it doesn't hit 100 degrees until July, I can deal with. But sometimes it starts hitting in May, and I am getting scared it will be one of those LONG summers. Hopefully it will cool off for a bit - I really rather have 1 more month of no a/c! The electric bill has been so nice and low!

Yesterday was REALLY nice. Dh had wanted to go to the Scottish Festival, which was quite expensive really. I told him I didn't want to be too stingy and cheap, but since we are going to Monterey next weekend... So we decided to go to the zoo and Fairytale Town which we have memberships too. & you would be proud of us. We packed up a lunch. There happens to be a pond and park between the zoo and Fairytale Town and so we decided to hit FT first, stop and eat lunch ,and maybe run by the zoo for a bit - it is very small.

Anyway, the heat was a bit much as the day progressed, but overall a very cheap and fun day. Kids had a blast.

The little FT also had a promotion where they are going to put in a "yellow brick road" and you can buy an inscribed brick for $100. Would love to to so - I think that is cool. Will have to think what we want to inscribe in it. For a good cause and all.

Anyway, for the ever present truth that less is more to kids, I had to share this. Fairytale Town has a few farm animals and slides and stuff to climb in. A fancy playground I guess. But they have this thing called the "crooked mile" which is basically a little raised path that winds round and round. So when we got there I plopped down and let BM run through it about 10 times. It might as well be a fancy roller coaster as far as he is concerned - the kids just LOVE it. Dh and I have always scratched our head on that one - who knew something so simple could be like the main attraction? LOL.

Here's a glimpse:



& then where we had our picnic lunch:



& the big duck who tried to grab my food. I was a little scared of him, but started snapping his picture and he ran off - he didn't like it - LOL. I guess he was a duck - I don't know - some big fellas.



We figured we wore out the kids real good and they would nap all afternoon and maybe even sleep well at night, but the plan backfired. They went on nap strike and were extra grumpy to boot, plus we were exhausted. Oh well. Baby had another awful night. Ugh.

We actually went to the SF zoo last year once and it was quite cheap, but the food did us in. So we are thinking about it for this year - we just need to pack up a lunch and go enjoy - the zoo even has free parking. I guess gas will be the pricey part, but is such a nice zoo. All we have to do is rein in the food costs to make it a pretty affordable excursion.

I have learned a couple of big lessons lately that are leading me to tweak my goals again.

I think I can sum them up into 2 lessons:

1 - The answer to most financial questions is: it depends. No one-size-fits-all!!!

2 - Doing something without truly thinking it through and looking at the big picture (like doing it on a gut feel) is not smart.

My gut feel used to be I wanted a lot of cash and no mortgage, etc., etc. But I was falling behind on all my financial goals by being so short-sighted about the BIG picture.

I've been coming to this realization slowly over time, but I finally gave into the other side of the great mortgage debate and completely change my tune. I no longer am paying an extra dime to the mortgage. I don't see the point. I decided to change my tax withholding because I was a little behind. At first I was frustrated as it significantly compromised my savings goals. & then I looked at the stupid $30 extra mortgage payment and decided I would commit that to retirement instead. Much smarter! Before I looked at it as a forced savings, a small amount I wouldn't bother with otherwise. But forced with such a huge budget change, I thought, gosh, I have been saving that $30 no prob - why not just put it to retirement instead. I can commit to save a small amount. & that is huge - a huge change in my thinking just over the last few months. Getting away from the so all or nothing thing.

We also have formulated a plan for our cash savings. We are going to keep 3 months bare minimum expenses and that is it. The rest - again to retirement - much better returns in the long run. We are losing out on so much earnings potential wanting a lot of cash in the bank.

In my new thinking I am just able to weigh everything with our goals and make decisions now. Vanguard dropped their fees so the $50/month I have been adding in a slow attempt to erase the fee of 1 fund (thought it was screwing up my allocations - and was why I was doing it slowly) - well I no longer have that need. I dropped the investment plan yesterday. By doing so we are on track to meeting our 3-month EF by December, $1k to invest, and the $1500 to do my final ROTH conversions. No more money to retirement this year, but with a $13k contribution from my job this year, just makes sense. We can go into 2008 with a full e-fund, an investment account started, all ROTHs, and can contribute heavily to the ROTHs in 2008. Woohoo.

Anyway, many circumstances have changed this month, but having the big picture in mind it was easy to make the appropriate changes and work with them.

Anyway, besides 3 months in expenses we will be adding $100/month & my overtime to savings for bigger purchases (cars and house maintenance) but should be plenty, with these interest rates anyway. We will start investing a very minimal amount in a balanced fund, since my new-car horizon is so far away. & for longer-term stuff. & then hoping to set aside about 8% to ROTHS. But of course, any unexpected windfalls will got to max those out. So I think the odds are high we can max out next year and still make decent progress on our savings. My gut wants to max out the ROTHs, but realistically, we don't need a 25% retirement contribution next year. Not at cost to all else. We'll get there in a few years. No hurry for now. Having more than enough for my own ROTH, on one income, sounds nice and dandy. But if anything extra comes along... It is reachable to fund both, all the same!

Some reasons I have changed my tune:

1 - thinking about our time horizon and how we have a 40-year plus investment horizon for investments. Longer horizon means more time to ride out the wave.

2 - Even if we take the full 30 years, the house will be paid off in our young 50s or well before retirement, no need to stress about it right now. It will be so much easier to make extra payments in a few years and will still have a significant impact - if we our making all our other goals.

3 - Our interest-rate is low and we will have the mortgage deduction (effectively making it lower) for years to come.

4 - I feel confident in the ability to earn twice as much over the long haul - 8 - 10% vs. the effective 4-5% mortgage interest rate.

5 - Yup, 8-10% because in the ROTHs it is all tax free earnings! Makes it the no-brainer.

6 - Over 90% of our net worth is in our home - we need to spread out our investments.

7 - Our mortgage is very reasonable and low-cost for the area. If I had a huge windfall I would have NO urge to pay off the house. I find small monthly payments much more manageable. I NEVER got the idea to pay off a house with life insurance, but I guess being the sole breadwinner I wouldn't - LOL. I look at life insurance as more of the retirement contributions that my dh would have made in life. Of course if something happened to him I would downsize the house anyway, may be able to pay it off in that case. On the flip side, the mortgage is quite huge at $215k. It would take a big effort to significantly pay it down early, at all costs to retirement. Instead I expect we will have the income in a few years to pay it down faster and in the end will still pay it off just as fast as originally planned. But will have lots of money in the bank, earning a nice return, to boot.

8 - I still can't get past the idea that my house could flood away or we could get sued for something stupid and have it taken away, but that our retirement is so safe from creditors, bankruptcy, lawsuit, etc. I just do not feel warm and fuzzy about having a $600k asset paid off. Frankly, it scares the hell out of me to sink all our cash into the house. If it was a $200k or $300k house I would feel differently. It's all in the sheer size and weight in our overall wealth I guess.

& as far as cash:

1 - job security out the ying-yang

2 - Plenty of insurance on all fronts

3 - Plenty of 0% credit options as well as plenty of well-off family to fall back on (loans) if we hit some really horrible times like the house flooding away or major medical bills.

So though I really want to hoarde a lot of cash, we probably could hardly be in a better position to not really need it. We just have a lot of options. So we decided to stick with the 3-month expense thing. The odds I will be out of work for more than like a day are just really slim to none in this market, and my job is quite recession-proof to boot. ( I exaggerate a tad, but not really, I could go find a job in a day - it is just crazy in my field right now). Disability actually would cover all of our bills - both the short-term and long-term (disability), and we have plenty of life insurance and all that. Medical is the big unknown for now, but we have low deductibles at least. I am starting to think we should keep a little less in the bank and try to pay for the higher premiums again next year. Might just be worth it to keep the costs controlled, even if the premiums are insane. Something to consider.

Anyway, overall it is amazing to me how much my thinking has changed in just the last few months. But I think we are looking at the big picture a lot better and are maximizing our wealth.

I still can't believe car is paid and we are so on track to so many goals this year. Though the year is young and anything can happen, all the same.

All that and a HDTV!

But setting goals and being focused has sure paid off tenfold... I had the focus before, just really not any tangible goals. What the hell were we doing anyway? LOL.

Hey, I went to get my car yesterday and no charge - they'll just bill me when they finish the work - how nice. I called to ask if we could cancel the part order and call around some of the dealers and at first he said yes, but called later to say it was too late. I figured we'll just replace it. But maybe a good lesson to call the dealers for a second opinion at the least, you never know. Maybe this is a common problem with a quick fix.

Anyway, reminds me how this mechanic has annoyed me in the past with annoying assumptions! He'll look at the car, fix what I bring it in for, have it all ready, and then when I pick it up he says "you need this and this done too. Bring it back later." But not knowing us better I guess made the sweeping assumption (maybe the more common choice) that we rather wait and save up the money and bring it in later. In reality I want it taken care of while I went out of my way to go carless for a day or 2. Gah. It's just my pet peeve. In some cases maybe it paid to wait. But anyway, after a few times I told him, look, I rather get it all done now. We have such a great long-standing relationship with our mechanic back home and he is very honest about what is critical and what can wait, etc. So I have been trying to get this info more out of him. But if it really can't wait more than a couple of months - please just do it now!!!! So I think he is getting it. Of course, he still hasn't 100% learned. Am I sure I really want to fix my power locks now? Um yes - it is driving me batty - I left all the doors unlocked yesterday because I completely forgot - at work - not the best area. I need my locks!

Anyway, this also happened at the hospital. We were in for dh's ear appointment after he started losing his hearing suddenly. Overall something big and major - right? But the doc looks at our chart and says, oh, I would usually send you to the PT, but looking at your high co-pay plan, oh, you are just better off waiting a few days first - it might go away. In the end that was better advice, and it did. I am glad we didn't output the money. But the assumption that we should put off some procedure because we probably don't have the money? Ugh. There it goes again. It's his hearing!!! I will pay good money to get it fixed!

Geez.

I just find it interesting the assumptions made. If we had a better plan (which by the way cost another $300/month!!!) and were wearing expensive clothes would we have had an unnecessary PT appointment? Hmmmm. It only would have saved us $25 on the co-pay but we'd be out another $3600 all year for the premiums. So yeah I would rather have that advice on the other plan - LOL. People are funny.

Every time I see "Money Karma" it reads "Monkey Karma" to my eyes - always cracks me up.

Anyway, dh needs to fiind the money for the t.v. & well, he just got a video job - woohoo. Out of nowhere, didn't have to look or anything. Well, he did some work for a client of mine last year, and they want him to do some more - editing some old videos, transferring to DVD and putting on a continuous loop so they can play in their lobby. Will probably net $200-$300 for that, whenever they get the details worked out.

My mom also offered the same when I told her about the t.v. purchase - they have a lot of old stuff to move to DVD. But you know, it's fam, you don't want to charge them. But I am starting to think he should take up the offer. He hasn't done anything yet and won't be a priority until cash is a reward. Just the way it is. Ask how far he is along on OUR own home videos - LOL. We got a "first year" video for child #1 & that's about it. Which reminds me though he did say he wanted to devote some time to that this summer. Hopefully he can make progress on all of these things now that I am much more free!

In other news, my dh is quite happy to spend his days playing video games and watching t.v. He is a real homebody. I am pleased that is changiing (maybe he is a little stir crazy - I don't know). He wants to go to the musemum and a Scottish festival this weekend. ???? Who is this guy and where is my hubby? Hehe. Well, we'll see...

http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/cheap-versus-frugal

I thought this was an excellent article (on cheap vs. frugal). An old article, but got directed to this website by househopeful's blog yesterday, and enjoyed.

Anyway, part of the distinction between cheap and frugal, in this article, is that cheap people will screw people over for a few bucks and frugal people in general are a little more generous, and have more to give. I thought it was a very interesting addition to the cheap vs. frugal list. I was also thinking about it in terms of us. We used to be very generous with our money. We used to donate all of our used stuff, and be generous with gifts, etc. Anyway, in recent months we have moved to the opposite end of the spectrum. I honestly can not say this has made me very happy. & reading this article kind of nailed it on the head for me. You know, maybe we were stupid with our money before, but I have been thinking of those studies where they show money makes people more mean. LOL. I have been really grumpy lately, thinking about money too much, etc. I think middle ground is probably good. So thinking through all this, I just agree. For the most part the frugal definitions in this article describe us to a tee and I think is something more to strive towards. Anyway, I also looked at this extreme penny pinching as pretty temporary to get back on track. & as we near our goal, we'll probably do what we can to get there. But once we get there I think we really just need to chill out. I find us spending an inordinate amount of time to save a few dollars, in a few cases, which just does not make any sense to me. When we made minimum wage it made sense. It no longer makes sense. Not worth the time and stress I guess, we have the luxury to let it go. I can't say we are any happier becoming extreme penny pinchers, actually, quite the opposite.

Anyway, just kind of my thoughts of late that I haven't really formulated into a blog yet. But reading this made me ponder it a little deeper, and find the words to what I had been feeling on some level.

Oh yeah, and I am enjoying this guy's blog too:

http://www.mymoneyblog.com/archives/2007/04/our-spending-bre...

I really enjoyed the comments on this post, because the guy started getting reamed for not having the "10
% tithe" category which I moan and groan about lately myself. I have argued that for myself, giving to my friends and community and such is so much more rewarding than setting aside a cash percentage for charity. But anyway, someone really echoed my thoughts here - they thanked the guy for his blog and what a great public service it is. I guess to me it just angers me that such contributions are written off as not important. Just giving of yourself in any way, shape or form is just very important. It does not have to be with cash. I guess for me putting a percentage to tithe just, I don't know, it doesn't jive with me. & it is amazing to me to see so many in the personal finance community make such a large commitment with their income. Anyway, I don't want to start a debate or seem judgemental. If you are happy with your tithing situation so be it. I almost don't even want to go there. A very personal/touchy thing I guess. But I think it is important for people on the fence, or are unhappy with giving so much cash, well, to know that there are so many other ways to give. & in the great debate if a blog is a charitable cause, I would argue it is. But seriously, try it, help a neighbor, a friend, acquaintance, and see how enjoyable that is. It does not take a pile of cash to be a giving person. Ah, quite the contrary. I guess too I like the flexibility of giving when it feels right, rather than some sort of obligation. If I had given the token 10% I could not have helped a dear friend financially last year. But when the time arose I was able to help. & I know the money went to a wonderful cause, whereas with charity it often gets fuzzy. I know devoting my time to certain charities I can see the difference it is making, where it is harder to see with the cash contributions. & so it goes, I guess my attempt to reinforce the value of giving in any way, shape or form. If you don't have the cash to give, there are other ways to be a giving person.

I guess it is all a big balancing act. When you get too extreme, it just gets ugly. I think we will work on some middle ground between frugal and giving, and not cheap - LOL - in the times ahead. Still working on that right balance I guess.

$20 challenge:

$6,863.14 - Balance 4/16

$ 62.38 - Interest for April

------------------
$6,925.52 - Balance 4/16
------------------

This is how much money I have accumulated since 1/1 by doing things a little differently. Gosh, it is amazing.

Starting to accumulate significant interest. Gosh, wait until I cash out a credit card for the interest too.

Everyone around here is burned out and doesn't intend to work this weekend. But frankly, I am so behind AND I want next Friday off, I didn't mind coming if for a bit. Though I was worried it might be a long saturday of working.

Anyway, all the problems cleared away and I have been whipping out payroll stuff left and right - more caught up than I imagined I would be today. Monday is the deadline!

Basically, I don't think I have to work Saturday!!!! Oh my. I don't think I will tell dh yet (just in case something comes up). A nice surprise for him and the kids. The kids have been very patient and well, but I think they are getting pretty sick of me working long saturdays.

Anyway, honestly, I probably rather come in a bit and get a bit more caught up. I don't have to work a monster day or anything. & even if I stay home I am WAY behind in my writing for the week.

But if no one else is going to be here, why should I? I think I will just be lazy, take Saturday off. & hope I can get a lot accomplished Monday through Thursday next week.

Ah, a 5-day work-week. WHat's that????

I know next week will be a little crazy, maybe the week after with 5/15 deadlines (gosh, these deadlines NEVER end). But I am hoping to work out a schedule with more free time to do some writing during the week and some exercise and such. So the weekends can truly be enjoyed. We'll see...

Yup, property tax returns due May 7 (ugly since I am behind on some of the accounting which would have the info I need) and I have 1 audit in particular I have to square away by May 15 so I can do their non-profit tax return. Yikes. Since I have been kind of pushed more into a management role I guess there is no escaping the endless deadlines!!! In the past many would pass without me having to break a sweat.

I am still dreaming of cutting back my hours. We'll see, hopefully I will catch up significantly in May and then take a breather. I can definitely say the WORST is over for the year - phew. That's something!

I came to the conclusion a while ago that our very old cars were much better purchases because we could afford so much more quality.

& anyway, today I am left feeling really annoyed with our van and wondering if we sacrificed too much quality for something "newer."

I am just aggravted. I am not sure what the final bill was - should have asked - but fixed the window and the mirror. & the oil change for convenience. But the power locks is something entirely different (I figured it had been related). Though I am glad it is not an overall electrical system malfunction, the part that needs to be replaced still is about $350. Mechanic said maybe I should just take it in to the dealer, might have to anyway to program it. But the principle really gets to me, that they make cars these days that only the dealer can fix. I ain't playing the game. I discussed it with dh and he said, well, odds are the dealer will screw you over. True. Kind of my feeling. Mechanic is old friend of family, on the contrary. So we will have him try to fix it - but the part won't be in until next week. In the meantime it is such a PITA to not have power locks. I would not mind so much if there was keyed entry on the passenger side, but there isn't. & we can't really figure out how to keep the back locked, without power. Considering we live in auto theft central, I really want my door locks back!

I think the grand total when all is said and done will be $1k. Absolutely ridiculous. I have just never had such a new car before and NEVER had these kind of stupid repairs. Is it too much to ask that the power windows and power doors last more than a couple of years? Have I ever spent $1k on car repairs in one service? Probably not? My last cars were old, but they had power doors and windows that worked for decades!

Overall I guess my standards are pretty high. HAven driven a 20-year-old Toyota with little problems, and the same with our Saturn, and our cheap little Escort, I am just not pleased with the Dodge Caravan thus far.

Oh well, at least the mirror is my fault - I broke it. There is something.

Well, we'll see. Have to take it in again next week when the part arrives. & then schedule for service at the dealer too. Times like these it is just nice to have a 2nd car and a spouse who doesn't work - to chauffer me around and overall not too much nuisance to my work day.

Well here is to better car days...

I haven't completely ruled out selling it, pocketing the change, and buying my camaro instead. LOL. Or even just an older Japanese model.

ETA: Since I can't comment I will comment here - LOL. Thanks for the tip - yup - we have the 05 Grand Caravan. Very Interesting. I will have dh call around and see if we can hold off on the part in the meantime - if he can cancel the order!

& that's what I mean - what's the point of buying new if you can't afford quality? Or you don't want to spend it anyway. Oh well, I feel we are on track to buy better next time. I should just feel lucky the Ford has held up so well, it was dirt cheap! Helps offset it a bit.

I need to log into my online MMA more. GMAC is now paying 5.3% APR!

I've been looking at c.d.s and treasuries now that our e-fund is about at its goal, and well, don't see the point for now.

I tried to pick a bank this time around that had a longer history of good rates. So far very proactive in raising rates (from 4.97% in just a couple of months). Since high yield is not everything to me (much weight on history/security of institution, FDIC, cusomer service, etc.) I am pleased I found a decent compromise for all that I wanted in a bank. For now anyway. Yeah, the subprime whoas are something to consider, but for now I will take GMAC any day over most the fly by night online banks. I do wonder if that has anything to do with more attractive rates though - haven't been keeping a close eye on rates overall...

I really wanted to take my car in next week, since it is crazy this week, but I started worrying as the electric problem seems to be spreading. Fearing if it got worse if it would cost more to fix.

Who knows, but we dropped it off today. Usually when the car goes in the shop I Tend to drop off the fam, go to work, then pick them up and get the car in the evening. But I thought, this is dumb, they probably need the car more anyway, I'll just be at work. So we dropped off the car and I got dropped off at work. Plus since I usually have to leave 4:30 to pick up BM (have not done so in months), it isn't so bad if dh picks him up first and then gets me - will be closer to 5:15 or so - buys me 45 minutes at work - which is good. Anyway, crossing my fingers the diagnostic is not too bad. WIll replace the side mirror and get an oil change while it is there. Not very frugal or cheap, but it is convenient and that wins hands down - LOL. Said I'll get it back tomorrow (unless it is something REAL bad). Oh yeah, fingers crossed. Of course mechanic looked perplexed as car is so new. YEah, that is what I was thinking. "New" car, already screwed up. Bah!

So yeah it is crazy here but I have "senioritis." I am SO itching for vacation and time off I guess. I am a little bummed because I have been ITCHING to go to Monterey and do something fun with the kids, on a Friday to avoid crowds. So I was thinking weekend of 11th, but BM got invited to a birthday party he really wants to go to. I vote Monterey still - LOL - but dh and BM vote party. Bah. So my first FREE weekend we will probably be driving and all that. Though I really look forward to the idea of a 4-day-workweek next week all the same. But then again, just so behind, wanted to have a nice full week to catch up a bit after this deadline. I could postpone Monterey to the following weekend, but I am driving down the Friday after that to get my tooth filled and want to avoid 2 weekend trips in a row. Oh well, decisions decisions. Regardless, no Saturday working in May, 1 holiday, and probably 2 days off to boot. One for as filling, but I tacked it on the holiday weekend so I could still drive back home and bum around for 3 days - LOL. Monterey will probably be decided at the last minute. I just don't know if I can take next Friday off. ???

I really wanted to lose a good few pounds before the cruise, but ain't gonna happen - LOL. Then again, weather has been nice, things have been slowing down, have been resuming the afternoon 1/2 mile walk at work in the afternoon. Maybe it is only 1/4 mile, but whatever it is is better than nothing. Last year I was a lot better about walking to get the mail and walking to the park/pool in the evenings. We have started resuming that somewhat, but after this week when I resume a more normal work schedule I can commit to more walking, and add some video workouts to the mix. I think I weigh about the same as last summer when we went to HAwaii, but I was in much better shape. I just feel flabby. I still have a good 18 baby pounds to attack, but have just been so wound up in financial stuff and work. HEre's to summer. Hopefully I Can tone up a bit so I Feel less self conscious come cruise time. I actually look forward to the amenities on the boat though - I love gyms, I just don't find them worth the expense these days, especially knowing I really don't have the time. But maybe the cruise gym will motivate me. & I want to be a little more in shape so I can maybe go on a bike ride or a hike, or hit cruise gym without keeling over - LOL. It was funny Sunday but we went out shopping and such and I Was exhausted. I frankly couldn't remember the last time I did much more than sit at a desk. So it is nice to get moving. Well needed.

Today I paid off the TV and its new beautiful stand. Dh picked one out and it is absolutely gorgeous - I love it. He did good. I was wary I would hate it - LOL. Anyway, between the 2, and taxes, $1300. I paid it. I also have to transfer $500 out of savings to pay the dental bill. (planned, short0term savings, actually $75 under budget which will help for filling). & after that we are at about 1/2 our budget for the month. Lord knows how. Dh did STEALLAR on the groceries this month and driving his car more has paid off in the gas department. I have had leftovers out my ears too - just lots of leftover lunches - no sandwhiches or BK runs. At this rate (knock on wood) I think that we will have enough extra in there to pay the mechanic. ???? I have about $350 set aside for that and my filling, before this great under-budget month. I think in the end it might buy me another $200 at the least. We'll see. I know I paid one grocery charge and one gas charge on the other cards already - ahead of schedule. But still, doesn't explain how we are having such a good month. Last day of credit card cycle is Thursday, all the bills are paid, dh knows better than to spend another dime on anything other than necessity - LOL - etc. But then again anything can happen. But I am in a good mood about it all. Just hoping the car isn't so bad...

I will have to dig out old invoices and see how much my last filling cost. Hmmmmm. I had one replaced a couple of years ago. I just don't remember it being that much.

Oh yeah, in other news, the fam may go to Florida in October. Another all-expense paid trip. Spoiled spoiled. As it turns out, dh told his mom about the windfall from my parents, which I was not happy about. So great, he didn't say how much, but his mom guessed upwards of $20k (I guess assuming the free gifting thing). So I was REALLY annoyed with dh. His parents are really generous, and nosy. None of their business, and I can just see then getting on our case about our finances if they think we just received $20k and are still budget like we are broke -LOL. (Oh yeah - and the TV to boot does not HELP!). So we had been discussing Florida next year to visit his grandfather, at an age the kids could enjoy Disney World. But he brought it up one day and his mom got on a kick they need to go throw a big 80th birthday party for GrandDad. Great, that is nice and all, but not in our budget in the LEAST. & it just came so out of left field. Why not until we brought it up we were planning a trip? I don't know. So I was really resisting. For one, it is a big deadline at work and they wanted to go for 6 work days. I guess I am just mean, but dh's sister has a baby due that month. I don't see why we just can't wait until next year - so they can go - and we have more time to plan, etc. I mean I need more than 6 months please to plan for a trip for 4 to Florida. Pricey! I don't care if we all crowd in Grandpa's house - the flight will still cost an arm and a leg - LOL. So anyway, I Was resisting because I figured MIL gravy train was out in light of recent events, and also because I refuse to use 6 days vacation - I already got my vacation planned for the year. So I pretty much told dh if he wanted to go AND his mom would pay, fine. I didn't want to be the 80th birthday scrooge. I kind of just wanted him to leave the baby too - but part of the thing is they have never met him. So anyway, in the end it all works out because dh's mom said if I didn't go, they could all share a timeshare condo ("free") and she had 4 free airline tickets anyway. (baby can take a lap). So trip is paid! To boot, we have Disney World tickets from 2000, our honeymoon, we bought a 4-day pass and I hurt my necj - don't ask - LOL. I think we only used 1 day. ?? So dh and BM basically have 3 days of park hopper tickets to use, and frankly I Am glad to be rid of them. Right now they are just sitting in our safe saying we need to fly to Florida to use them - LOL. So they will probably fly to Florida and all that and leave me, but I Am okay with it. The tickets though are just the icing on the cake - FREE trip. LOL. Of course, I know better. A few hundred dollars probably in eating out and expenses and such. But oh well, sure beats flight and hotel for 4 for a week - my word. I am also kind of annoyed because they just have to be there on the day of his birthday. I just don't get it. if they postponed it a little bit I could have flown out for the weekend or something, but has to be the weekend I have to work - just a big deadline - there is hardly a way around it. I just don't get the draw of the exact day. If someone wants to throw me a big bash the week before or after my birthday, okay with me! But I am not really feeling the trip all the same. HEck I might get a week all to myself at home. Crazy! I wouldn't know what to do with myself. & well if I we don't have to save our pennies for a Florida trip next year, what a load off for me. Phew. I think this could work out nice.

http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2007/pf/0702/gallery.median_i...

I don't know why, but looking at this article made me want to make a pie chart of my own - LOL. I play with percentages a lot, but never thought to put in chart form. I played with excel and figured it out pretty quickly (learned how in college, haven't done a pie chart since I believe - LOL).

Anyway, I cam up with this.



I think it's perty. Some things to note, housing includes the gardener and other maintenance. Not all fixed expenses. Haven't had the gardener long and would be the first thing to go if needed. I am impressed with the auto percentage - gas, insurane and budgeted maintenance on 2 cars. No payments (as of last week!). I laughed at the thread in the forums about the 8yo car with 85k miles. I think dh's car is 6yo with 65k miles and I figure it has a decade left in it, easily. I still consider it brand new, but I guess for me it is pretty new. But though we don't plan to replace either car soon, most of our 4% savings (and interest it earns) is earmarked for future car purchses, so you could consider our car % at 10% or so (7% + 3% - most of savings).

It surprised me what a chunk our taxes are since we pay so little in income taxes these days, but most of it is social security/payroll taxes (about 8%). I put the property taxes (& insurance & HOA and all that) with the house.

"Other" is all of our other insurances, gifts, donations, medical co-pays (can get pricey), subscriptions, clothing, our allowance (I should have put that in - it's about 1.4% of all expenses for our own splurges). We rarely have enough for ALL this stuff, but I based this graph on my wage alone. Making extra money on the side helps us to find money for all this stuff which we could otherwise live without I guess. Well, ideally we like to divide extra money between the "extras" and adding more to savings.

I didn't have the time to pretty up this one as much, but decided to do a graph about where we were at when we had our first child.



It's interesting how different it looks. Housing was a big chunk, but less than we thought it would ever be growing up where we did. I notice over time as our health insurance skyrockets, we shift a lot that was our mortgage % to taxes and health insurance. I expect our taxes to get pretty ugly in the future.

Today we have A LOT more for both savings and retirement. I think that is why when my dh first stopped working we looked at it as very temporary. These days I feel more and more we can do it for the long haul. I never expected to get such large raises in such a short amount of time, so we have definitely upped our lifestlyle and tried to enjoy a little as well.

I figured I would share. It is too often that people will look at someone and say, oh they had it easy. I think I get that a lot more since we have suddenly found a lot more financial comfort. Bigger wage, sudden influx from our parents, etc. But this was not what our situation is when we first made the 1-income leap. It was pretty dang tight. There were many years we never considered having cable or a gardener or the like. But with time I guess things change. I just hope all of us can say the same. With time we should all find more comfort in our life, by taking care of our finances. Slow and steady wins the race!

Of course I miss these days (DINK = double income no kids), but saving heavily when we could, really paid off.



Of course I'll take the kids, and added financial strain, any day...

ETA: Oh yeah - sorry I can't seem to reply to my own blog from my work computer - lord knows why. So though I tried to comment on the comments I couldn't. Please forgive me - I'll try again from home (keep forgetting).

Well you might want to skim my last post/rant to get up to speed. But this is where I admit I can be a little jekyl and hyde - LOL.

I called my mom and gave her the spiel. & she was like, righ on sista - what is wrong with your hubby? & then after ranting and raving for a bit I said, you know, I hate to admit it but I am kind of excited. Dh kind of sold me on the HDTV a long time ago and I have been wanting one. It is not ALL him. So I kind of admit that and our conversation was so funny. From "what a doofus" and "what is he thinking???", to us being kind of excited. My mom said, yeah, she can't wait to see it - LOL. & then she said, "you know, I know you will enjoy too, just take the money we gave you to buy it and don't worry about it. Would you like a loan even?" So from what a bum - to offering a loan. LOL. I said no. But it was kind of funny. I even admitted to dh I wasn't all that upset - as long as he makes an effort to pay for it on his own accord. I know he could bring in some money if he tried. For one he still has an old projector to sell. Is all I really ask. Maybe this is the kick in the pants that he needs. But I didn't let on that much either - he needs to know I Am serious - we can't just do this all the time. I can pretend he is really in the doghouse for a while. He is in a sense. These t.v.s are coming down in price - other sales will pop up - he could have waited, honestly.

AH, you see he has wrapped me under his spell. I actually just have rolled my eyes at his precious t.v. through the years, but a few years back (2003?) his uncle got a big fancy HDTV and I was awed. The first time I really *got* any level what is so special about an HDTV. I think it was then he sold me. Thought back then he wanted to spend $10k on a HDTV and we compromised with the projector which is twice as large as the biggest t.v. & cost 1/4 as much. So has been our compromise through the years.

Anyway, we had been talking about buying a $700 or so t.v. for upstairs - a more modest t.v. - dh has been manipulating me because I am blind and we have tiny old t.v. up there - so he has been pushing the angle of getting a nice, much bigger HDTV up there, one I can see and read without my glasses. & the t.v. signals are all converting to HD in a couple of years anyway, so he was selling me. We were considering it with Christmas money, keeping an eye out on a deal for this particular t.v. - he already had one picked out. So in the end just $300 more for the perfect main t.v. Not the worst. He did offer to sell the old one and I said no way - we should move it upstairs so I can see the t.v. in bed. Then we just won't have to upgrade that one. Makes more sense. The other t.v. is his baby and he made a really good purchase he is still pleased with - only thing wrong is it is NOT HDTV. LOL. It was the first big purchase we ever made together. Well, after our first home. & well it cost about $1500 - so much more than this HDTV which is about twice as big - too funny once I think of it that way. That in the end his first HDTV costs less than that baby.

Of course downstairs renders our old entertainment center null and void. So we still have to work it out. & I have a fear it won't be too long before there are talks of upgrading our free TIVO to HD. Which is another reason why we have passed so long on uphrading the main t.v. to HD - in no hurry to upgrade our TIVO since it is free in the interim - and is mostly how we watch t.v. - through the TIVO.

So, many problems are presented. But hopefully dh will get a job to pay for all this crap. & I have to admit I am kind of excited we now have a 50 inch HDTV. It is pretty sweet. I have been surfing the web and they generally run $1600-$3k so I kind of see dh's angle on the deal. Believe me he has been waiting years for a deal like this. & to have the windfall to pay for it. It isn't all bad. I guess.

Oh yeah my only other concern is that it is rear-projection as well. So I was asking if that meant it had bulbs that burn out with time, like his projector does. Yes, the bulb should last 10k hours. He cracked me up though becuase he said he thinks it will help him watch less t.v. Yeah right, who is he fooling?????? Whatever!

Anyway, the kids are ALL excited. My eldest keeps telling me that daddy bought a GIGANTIC t.v. LOL. He thinks it is pretty cool. All I have to say to that is I apologize in advance to my sons' future wives.

Okay, he has only done something SO stupid once in our marriage.

Anyway, irony is I was teasing him about his stupid PS3 and how he just had to have it and wouldn't spend a dime otherwise all year, but well he has spent a few dimes otherwise - LOL. So I already blogged, that I am sure he could do it, he doesn't usually buy much at all. BUT at the same time, how long until the next best thing? He got super aggravated with me for teasing him...

Well anyway, it was 2000 when we were getting ready to move into our big house, and saving our pennies for a down payment, wondering if we would be able to sell our old home, etc., when he went out and bought a $2500 projector. We had only been married a little over a year but I thought we were seeing pretty eye to eye. But honestly, I don't even think he asked me. It was like, BTW I ordered a projector. BEcause it was a deal TOO GOOD TO PASS UP!!! He was sure it was a typo and he didn't really think it would go through or something (ordered online). Yeah, I Was livid. Anyway, back then we really had more money than we knew what to do with. So as annoying as it was. Mostly the principle that he made a $2500 purchase without telling me. Whatever. Believe me he has done nothing like that anywhere close since.

But this morning I Was laying in bed. I had gotten up and done my "How To" post at 4am because I couldn't sleep. & then I tried to go back to bed (felt pretty wide awake) around 6 because had gotten no sleep the night before (baby had a horrid night). I figured I really needed sleep. Well, I did. Dh came and tried to wake me at 7am, and I said no way. So he woke me up again later and I was pretending to sleep - I just did not want to wake up - LOL. But oh yeah - he had a way to wake me up. HE says, "How much do you love me?" Oh lord, I am thinking. I am awake now. So I open one eye to show I am awake. "What now!?!" So he proceeds to tell me there is a HDTV on sale at Fry's for $1k and he HAS to have it because there has never been such a deal on such a t.v. Being a realist I am just like, no way in hell. In 2 years we can buy something twice as good for 1/2 as much. But then he keeps insisting that no - this t.v. is such a good deal, we will never find a t.v. anywhere on par for this cheap ever - not even in 2 years. I am just rolling my eyes at him. But clearly something in his being has to have this t.v. and I do love him. So I told him pretty clearly he could buy his precious t.v. but he has to get a job to pay for it because my wage simply can't support it. I told him, he was killing me, on top of my job and overtime I was bringing money on the side. & I Was frankly tired of doing all this not to get ahead but just buy him more crap. When was the last time he brought in a dime?

So he runs off to the t.v. store and I am just annoyed right now. Then of course he starts saying we need a new entertainment center and blahblahblah. IT never ends!!! My god!

You know if he would get a job it wouldn't be as big a deal. HEck, I would like it if he would. If he would keep it to fund our retirement a little too. But today I am just really skeptical if he will come through. He insists if he buys it he should be able to sell it at a profit if we change our minds. So whatever. I know the odds are slim he would give it up. But the clock is ticking on the best deal ever had, so it is buy now, think later.

& you have to understand projector #1 was to curb his appetite for HD? IT has, but so did projector #2 which is barely 2 years old!!!

I am just extra annoyed because we just paid off the car. I just wrote the check. Could this have come up a week earlier? We just came into a lot of money. But why does he get to spend it all and I am left to square one, worrying about how to fund our retirement?

Mostly I think this means that preschool is entirely out the window for the little one. I had set aside about $1k for that, to give dh a little break. But uh uh. HE doesn't deserve it. I am sorry that LM can not go hang out with his brother and all one day a week, but apparently a t.v. is more important than anything. Gah.

I only hope and pray it is such a good deal there that there are no more left when he gets there. So he doesn't have to work a job all summer to pay for a t.v. when he couldn't even get a job to pad our retirement a little.

Apparently he has the 7-year itch. 7 years since he pulled this crap. Anyway, I know I have been very, oh ,we always see eye to eye and discuss things. I think this is just a little bit much because he just got his stupid very expensive PS3 too. It is just too much right now. He is driving me absolutely insane! Thank god he doesn't always pull crap like this. But well, he is wearing on my last nerve.

The thing about us is that through college I lived on my own and footed most the bill. He didn't work any less hard - he was always working many jobs, but he stayed at home and had no bills, so had completely 100% disposable income. & he really got to keep up a lot of that lifestyle when we first married. But frankly, he just doesn't *get* that he has to choose. That is what it comes down to. We agreed to live on 1 income and have a more relaxed lifestyle. But suddenly the rules are changed. Suddenly he wants to spend his nights and weekends working so he can keep up this lifestyle. & though I would feel better if he would just get a job. IT aggravates me all the same. Sometimes I wonder if he could really live through tight times. He is frugal, he works hard, he never buys with debt, etc. But he is not getting that though cash is in the bank, it is not there to spend! Sometimes I am amazed he did not come out a bigger spoiled brat the way his parents handed him so much, and times like these I see that he has - he is a big spoiled brat. He got a lot of the work ethic, be frugal, buy cash, etc. But mix that in with a little spoiled and there you have it. A guy I can live with on a tight budget 90% of the time, but who every once in a while, his brain goes entirely out the window. Seriously this is the guy who nagged me about eating out at Taco Bell last weekend when we could pack a lunch and I told him not to start with me, if I wanted to spend $10 at Taco Bell for a family meal I darn well was going to - LOL. I was annoyed he as nagging me baout a small splurge when he had just bought his PS3.

So I don't know, could I have said no? Well, I did try to say no. We'll see how it turns out.

When shopping for a used car you can take two very different routes. In my younger years with much less cash I always bought used from a private party. But you can also find some pretty good deals at the dealer as well.

When shopping for a used car you could start with your newspaper, or better yet try something like Craigslist. Don't limit yourself to your immediate area if you travel often or have family in areas a little farther out. Increase your options.

Secondly, you need to come up with a list of questions to ask about the car. Some things that are important:

1 - Condition of Car
2 - Does it have a salvaged title?
3- How many miles are on the car?
4 - What are the features on the car (sound system, type of engine, power doors and locks?, etc.)

This is usually my preliminary list. It is impossible to tell if a used car listing is a good deal until you gleam this information. If the deal still looks good after these questions are asked, then make an appointment to see the car and do a test drive.

Two notes. I would never buy a salvaged car. The reason though is in this area there are plenty to choose from at very low prices that have no dings in the title. Just keep in mind even if you are willing to buy salvage, how will it affect the resale? If you have no other options you might find a steal. But I don't know much about salvaged titles than that I personally steer clear.

Secondly, in California a car has to pass Smog inspection before it can trade hands. Other states may have similar rules. In California that is one of the first questions I ask - if a car has been smog checked recently. If not, it's okay, as long as the seller takes responsibility to get it done. & then before the car trades hands I Would personally get it smog checked again myself. It is easy to fake a passing and one of my worst car buying experiences involved a fake smog check. But it was our follow up that helped us to decide that we didn't want to do business with his character. Never buy a car from someone once you find trickery is involved. I made this a simple rule in the future to help not to fall for a bad car deal.

Anyway, what kind of car should you look for? When going used there are two very different angles you can go. You can buy a really old Toyota, Saturn, Honda with a lot of miles and get a really nice car in the $1k-$3k range. The two best cars I ever owned were a Toyota with well over 150k miles (lasted 7 years with very minimal repairs) and a Saturn with about the same amount of miles (this one I used as an interim car when I wasn't ready to shell out the big bucks on a large family car, which was a long-term goal, but when I finally realized convertible and new baby don't mix). Those are the car brands I lean towards due to longevity and relative lack of repairs. When you can buy a $1k car for a few years and sell it for $500, never having spent more than a couple hundred of years on a repair, you have it made. These cars are of the safest and most reliable. Plus, if you do get a bad deal, you aren't out too much money.

On other end of the spectrum you can find a car that is a lot newer. A particular steal I always look for is a car that is an older make, but a car that has been mostly garaged and has few miles. I bought a 1992 Ford Mustang convertible in 1999. It had been driven so little it still had a new car smell and as absolutely immaculate. At $5k you can't find a much better deal for an all but brand-new car.

Once you pick out a car that sounds good on paper, make that appointment and test drive it. For the convertible I took it through the car wash to test for leaks. I generally found car sellers were fine with you taking the car for long test drives and visits to your mechanic. Any seller who isn't is one I would not deal with.

If the car drives well, check the car inside and out with an eagle eye. Always check the oil and fluid levels. Look for obvious signs that the car has not been maintained. I generally have found over the years that people that maintain their engines also keep their cars immaculate. The more immaculate the car inside and out, the better you can assume it has been well taken care of. I have looked at cars that had little (very old) oil but the car was trashed anyway. The two really seem to go hand in hand. But if you come across someone who is a neat freak but not big on maintenance, a quick look under the hood will give you some clues. Also, check the body very carefully. Body damage is often obvious if you just look closer. Always ask if the car has been in any accidents too. This is a huge area to consider and to have your mechanic look at (hopefully one who specializes in body work).

Of course the next step is to ask how many owners the car has had and if the seller has repair and maintenance records. & ask if you could take the car to a trusted mechanic (or something like AAA) to have a once over from a car professional. I have never had anyone say no to this.

Generally, from there, if the car is good I would negotiate a price, dependent on outcome from my mechanic's check. Just keep in mind that people selling cars are usually asking too much. Before you look at the car you should look up the blue book value (www.kbb.com) and see what a good price is dependent on the information you have. In years past a general rule of thumb was an average between wholesale and retail, but these days kbb.com also shares private party values, which is where you want to look. The general rule of negotiation is they start high, you bid low, and a compromise is made. However, not all car sellers are negotiators. I have had many people tell me what the least amount of money they would accept was (well below blue book or asking price). If someone tells you that, jump on it. In the end though, ask a price that is reasonable, but keep in mind that if there are 50 cars for the same make and model and year listed in the paper that the seller has to be pretty desperate. Adjust downward a bit if you get the feeling the car has been sitting a long while. & if you just can't agree, walk away. Either it isn't worth it or you may just be able to call a bluff. For a rarer car of course, you may have to offer a little more. My general experience is sellers like to act like they have buyers lined up and the reality is they don't. Living in the big city myself, there are just way too many used cars to go around.

The final step once you agree on price (& after the mechanic check) is to exchange money and transfer title. In California you can not sell a car without a "pink slip." So make sure they have the proper title and documentation and are able to sell their car. Go as far as to check their ID, that it matches the title. You can never be too careful when buying used. Whenever we have bought a used car we have always written up a small contract with the purchase price and had the seller and buyer sign. Doesn't have to be anything fancy. But just something in writing to defend yourself. A written contract is better proof than an oral contract if a dispute arises from the sale. I find it best to do an initial contract, and probably redo it if you have to further negotiations after a mechanic check. Regular repair and maintenance is not a reason to walk away from a deal, but you can have the seller pay for the work, or adjust the price downward. After my bad smog check experience I usually rather bargain on the price and let my trusted mechanic do any work that may be needed.

There you have it, a used car on the cheap. Our family has bought so many used cars using this method and have been blessed with many great deals, so I generally don't have the fear of buying used that most do. But of course, by being slow, careful and methodical you can weed out most of the bad deals pretty easily. I think the biggest rule of thumb is just never rush into anything. When a seller is rushing you, something is wrong. Don't fall for it. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.

If you really want to buy a car at a dealership, I have actually found a way to save a significant amount of money going that route as well. We have found that in the spring, the car dealerships are big on clearing out old models to make way for the new. I am quite wary of car dealers myself after having many bad experiences walking into a car dealership wanting to pay cash for a modest used car and being run out because I could not get talked into buying much more than I could afford. Dealers would seriously rather not take your business than let you pay $10k cash for a car, often times. But my husband has always been pro-dealer (while I have much disdain) so in the spring of 2001 we were car shopping, and ran out of many dealers with our cash, when we came across a dealership trying to unload all of their old Ford Escorts. The car was absolutely made for my husband, one year old, and had a "1 at this price" listing in the paper for $7999. Where we had been willing to spend $10k on a more used cars, we jumped on the deal. We have never had such a new car and the car has yet to have a repair nearly 6 years later (knock on wood). Being skeptical I would still see this as a fluke, but we tried the same angle at a different dealer last spring. We had a particular minivan in mind and kept an eye in the paper, and around spring of last year it was clear the dealerships were clearing them out for the newer models. So we went in, had about 5 identical models to choose from - "5 at this price deals" - and to top it off we were able to negotiate a tad on the price. Nothing to write home about, but if you have ever asked about those cars you know the dealers always say, "oh, this is the LOWEST we can possibly go - we're losing money!!!" The truth is they want those babies off their lot to clear room for the new ones. You would think there would be mad rushes for such deals, but there really isn't for most used makes and models. So with time my husband has taught me that you can find a good deal at a dealership. Both these cars were well under warranty and had little in miles. I also had a couple of friends I have talked to since who did the same for brand new cars, just waiting for the ones from the last year that never sold, then the price came down significantly. & that is for a brand new car! As for our used car purchases, they were prior rentals, which I hear good and bad about. For us they have been great cars, and I like knowing that the cars were well maintained by the car rental companies. I guess time will tell if the car renters were perhaps too rough on the cars initially.

Finally, some reason why I like buying used cars, and think they are safer and better overall than going new:

1 - Everyone I know personally who had a "lemon" had a brand new car. I like letting a car be driven a while and the kinks worked out. Going used you are less likely to shell out a lot of money for a car that is bad off the assembly line.

2 - Back to #1 - most warranties are over-rated. I hear too many stories about things not covered (when it comes to a lemon) and an expensive repair and maintenance schedule to keep up the warranty. I've never regretted not having a warranty, and have saved a lot of money not paying big bucks for "new" and "warranty." Having a trusted mechanic keep up our cars is a much better dealer than going to a dealer for regular maintenance as well.

3 - The more used a car is the more information is available. I personally wouldn't buy a car that hasn't regularly lasted 200k+ miles on the road. A car has to be a couple of years old before you can get a feel from the super-commuters how well the car holds up with time. The longer you wait, the more information you gleam.

4 - I always find it ironic when people tell me used cars are not safe. I always wait for extensive crash testing data before buying a used car. I am very particular on this. There just is not a lot of info on a brand new car, but with time more info emerges about the quality and safety of the particular make, model and year.

5 - Insurance is less expensive, and if the car is cheap enough you may find you won't even need collision insurance.

6 - You worry a lot less about dents and dings, and auto theft, when you drive a 15-year-old car you paid $1k for.

7 - It's a lot easier to avoid debt and save up the cash to pay for very used cars.

Hopefully I have knocked down some of the usual myths about buying used cars. I can never wrap my brain around the idea that my friends will regularly spend $20k+ on a new car every few years while turning up their nose at the idea of how expensive a used car can be with repairs and maintenance. Of course, at the end of the day it bothers me little. The less people buy used cars, the better deals to be found for those who do. I always say that not driving new cars has afforded us a much more grand lifestyle than we could afford otherwise. Now that we are 30 and have built up some significant assets we felt maybe we were ready for some newer cars, but frankly, I just find them overrated. I wouldn't be surprised if the resort to a really used car for our next car. Better yet, maybe we just won't have to upgrade for another 20 years.