November is probably going down as one of our most expensive months ever.  I don't think that December is off to a great start, either.

I paid about $6K for second quarter college expenses.  Paid the same amount for property taxes.  We drove to the college a couple of times, MH went to Florida and bought a laptop.  Medical expenses, etc., etc.  I was just balancing everything out Dec. 1 and so it looked a little *Yikes!*  But the money Gods have been very nice to us, and so I can probably save MH's next two paychecks (December).   We always pay off the prior month charges and pay all bills the first of the month.  But I am not used to MH working and the extra income (after 18 months off work).  So the money is rolling in pretty nicely.

I got my bonus, but it's mostly going to medical expenses.  My raise (larger than usual) is going to taxes and health insurance increases.  It is what it is.  I pay all the household taxes out of my paycheck (for simplicity).  & I am coming to the realization that it's just always is how it's going to be (my raises will just go to taxes), unless I pull some taxes out of MH's paycheck.  So I am pondering that.  I can keep the simplicity if we deduct a flat dollar amount from MH checks.  That's fine, but we are also coming off of a 18-month layoff and it was nice to just pump up my paychecks with tax savings, same as we did when MH was laid off 20 years ago. Pulling taxes from MH's paycheck will remove some of that "emergency cushion".  But...  I feel like we are ready to graduate into a more relaxed budget. 

Before I realized that my raise would mostly go to taxes**, I was pondering increasing our misc./total spending for the first time ever.  I will have to ponder some more.  If it doesn't pan out, fair enough.  This year has been our most expensive medical year, in addition to paying cash for college.  It might just not be the right time.  I feel so close...  But not quite there yet.  

**Not sure on this yet.  Depends on what they do with the child tax credit next year and why I didn't realize at first that my raise would likely just end up going to taxes.  It seems kind of moot because DL(16) will 100% age out the following year, if not next year.  So I need to start financially and mentally preparing for that big tax increase.  

MM(18) had wisdom tooth surgery this week.  Was not on my radar whatsoever because I have zero wisdom teeth (and MH never needed any removed).  That will eat up most of my bonus.  What was left, will cover our SF weekend in January.  We have a free hotel and my bonus will cover all the shows (SF Sketchfest).  Will have some Christmas/Birthday money to cover parking/meals that weekend. 

Other travels:  Dropped MM(18) off at his college last last last weekend.  (Okay, this post is taking me forever to publish).  We never travel during busy/Holiday times and just weren't thinking.  Had planned more of a leisurely weekend but eventually realized we just had to get out of there and home ASAP.  So we left pretty early Sunday morning.  I think it still worked out pretty well.  We tried a more reasonably priced hotel and went out for a really nice dinner Saturday night.  We were able to beat most of the traffic.  & we did get gas first thing when we got to MM's college town, so that we wouldn't forget.  😉

{That is probably the last gas trip we will take to the college.  Phew!  Our recall number came up and so we get a new EV battery next week.  In the meantime, we've had to limit charging due to risk of fire.  After the fix, should be a useable long road trip car again; can charge and discharge all we want.  Extra bonus: the newer batteries are bigger so we will also get a longer range with this fix.  Merry Christmas to us!}

MH ended up going to Florida to help settle his Grandfather's estate.  He's not the executor, so don't ask me...  ???  Just a weird toxic MIL thing.  By itself, no big deal.  But just the usual over-reliance on MH and no concept that he has a job/family.  & I mean, he's trying to get back to work after 18 months off but it's just been one thing after another.  In the end, MH was able to change to an earlier flight home.  Phew!   

I personally didn't expect to be so knee deep in (estate) details so soon.  Silly me!  I forget why I am always knee deep in everyone's estates.  If nothing else, I will get the tax questions.  But even with friends, they usually deep dive with me because they know I will understand, in addition to wanting financial guidance.  So between that and MH helping with the details, we were both thrown head first into everything.  

I gather that FIL didn't expect to inherit anything (due to a second marriage) and that he is surprised by the size of the estate.  My MIL is being very weird about the whole thing, doesn't want any of the money, wants to pass it all on ASAP to kids and Grandkids.  I'd prefer that they slow down and give it some time.  

I don't really know what any of this means, but it's been thrown out that they want to do the max gift to everyone in my family.  $30K per person, though I wouldn't expect that until 2022.  & I know the gift limits are going up next year, but that buys the in-laws some wiggle room to also do the usual gifts (e.g. the $1K per year/each they have been giving the kids for college). 

Getting into the nitty gritty is another post for another day.  The obvious is the mortgage.  It was our gut feeling as to what to do with our money and it was still the obvious when circling back to long-term goals/plans.  For me personally, I just find it impossible to believe.  & MH is grieving, so there will be more in depth conversations about it all when the money is in hand.  For now...  Yeah, my mind just can not compute.  It's just that past large financial wins have always fallen through at the last minute.** MH's family has always been very generous as opposed to my money hoarding family (we both will meet somewhere in the middle when it comes to our own kids.  Seriously, can our parents be any more opposite??).  Though MH's parents are generous, this is the first time they've had a large windfall.  So this does not compute at all for me and I will believe it when I see it.  But at some point I will do a more in depth post of our current financial position and our thought process on the windfall.

In the short run, all I have left in cash is our emergency funds.  (I just peeked to see exactly where we were at.  6-month emergency fund + $33?  That's where we are at).  + probably $1,000 MH's paychecks this month (no further expenses to pay until January).  Plus some Christmas money.  Will see...  MH's work is busy (way busier than I realistically expected) so that is another windfall of sorts.  I don't feel financially stressed whatsoever, because we are saving so much.  Cash is dwindling because it was such an expensive medical year.  

So there's that.  But then I received a $100 check for my birthday (from my parents) and I couldn't even fathom what on earth to do with that.  I ended up donating to a homeless family. 

Obviously, the financial wins currently far outweight the financial challenges.  I guess that sums it up pretty well.

**Surprise surprise, this windfall fell through and did not come to be.  No explanation.  I knew it sounded too good to be true.

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I don't have much to say about Christmas.  Our focus this time of year is charity (versus consumerism).  Time flies.  I was looking up in my blog and this is the 5th year that the in-laws gave us $1,000 to donate.  I would have guessed maybe the third year.   But it's the 5th year!

I hadn't looked at things yet, where we donated everything to last year.  But looking through prior Christmas posts, I forgot we also came up with about $500 last year.  *sigh*  Wasn't on my radar at all with mega medical expenses and paying cash for college, etc.  But I can see that I will probably use $500 of the windfall to do that.  I will want to donate to a lot of the usual places:  DL's school, food banks, animal shelters, etc.  

(Usually I earmark some of my bonus for charity, but just didn't have any bonus money left after paying for the surgery).  

We actually were able to donate a $500-ish piece of furniture (misdelivered, we paid -$0-) to that homeless family and I had a new pillow & blanket that I gave them.  (They just got into an apartment).  Based on dollars/value alone I would feel good about things, but I don't want to skip some of the charities that we always donate to.  The list seems to just be getting longer every year.

MH found out that someone who helped with his movie passed away.  😞  He's taking his $250 (1/4 of $1,000) to give to this person's chosen charity and a scholarship fund in their name.  The kids haven't decided yet, where to donate.  

Stuff with MH's movie continues to be interesting.  That just reminded me.   I guess he had committed to paying everyone?  I had no idea! (I knew he wanted to, but didn't know he told everyone up front).  For reference, MH has never recieved a cent helping out with small/independent movies.  The interesting part is that he started to dole out money this week and probably roughly 1/3 the people are refusing to take payment.  ???  Told him to keep that money for applying to festivals, etc.  But I guess that's the bigger value for the actors, if the movie gets some exposure.  & like the donors for this film, there seems to be a mix of "starving artist" and "lots of money to throw around" types.  I am just used to the starving artists (and the general broke-ness of our peer group).  Though even some of the starving artists have been generous with donations.  I continue to be surprised. 

First, I just want to say that the theme here is OMG, life is crazy but money things are very very good.  This is just getting magnified (the money part).  This week was so busy I feel like I am 10 posts behind on getting caught up.  (& I am determined to get caught up, on some level.  Especially because of all the money stuff.  If I blog about nothing else, will get to the money stuff). 

Money stuff to follow in future posts...

We got MM(18) back from college.  Woohoo!  

My last post:

MM(18) is not spending any money on campus.  He is enjoying the all-inclusive lifestyle.  He's traveling to LA some weekends to work on a joint project with another college.  So he does spend some money on food on the road.  I expect he also has to contribute some to gas.  I've seen a couple of ATM and venmo withdrawals but haven't asked him about those in any detail.  I know he had some club dues to pay, and I just presume he is contributing gas when he gets rides to LA.

We get him home for Thanksgiving break, so we are excited about that. 

In the end MM(18) told me he had more cash now than when he started.  ???  I guess Grandma slipped him $40 when she visited and maybe gave him $30 for Halloween.   He had $80 of club dues to pay, but hasn't really spent any money otherwise.  (Because he withdrew the club money from the ATM, he now has all this extra/new cash).

& that reminds me, his books cost 97% less than when we were in college.  😱  For his degree, they mostly don't use books.  To be honest, the '97% less' was "this is chaos, just order new books at the book store your first quarter and we will pay for them."  That was 97% cheaper.  (MH and I didn't move out of town for college and we found it very overwhelming, getting him moved into dorms, moving 5 hours away, etc.). MH initially didn't agree that he should buy his own books, but he quickly came around, when he realized it will cost pennies.  MM(18)'s problem to figure out in the future.  He is frugal and will figure it out.  He only had to buy books for an english class.  He probably won't need to buy any for his all-science load this next quarter.  The science/math profs just give them pdfs of what they need.

I have the week off.  I was more than happy to drive to paradise to pick MM(18) up and to do the same next weekend to drop him off.  😁  

As to forgetting to refuel...  LOL.  

MH's car is still on recall (it will be a while) and isn't a useful roadtrip car in the short run.  So we are driving the hybrid on longer trips (this is pretty much our only "long trip").  We had the nicest day yesterday.  We stopped by the beach and ate lunch at our favorite little cheapie place by the beach.  The weather was perfect.  We had planned to get gas while eating but didn't pass the gas station on the way in to town.  All *3* of us promptly forgot.  MH and I 99% of the time just plug in our cars overnight to fuel (we've gone 100% electric, except for "long trips during recall").  It's no wonder we forgot.

Fast forward a few hours later and thankfully my car beeped at me and flashed the low fuel warning. !! Thank you newer/fancy car!  My first thought was literally, "But we just got fuel!"  Then quickly, "Oh....  Crap, we were going to but we didn't!"  We were about 30 miles from the next gas.  Which took a while to figure out because we had no cell service.  What I don't like about the newer cars is they just switch to "low fuel" and no longer give you an estimate.  But at that point I had about 30 miles left on gas (& surely an extra gallon of reserve above that).  & I had about 20 miles on electric left.  I had wanted to conserve it for some of the bigger hills but we let it go.  Figured it was better not to run out of gas.  😉  (The car is desgined to be driven with no electric fuel, but I think it needs *some* gas to function.  We erred on draining the electricity first).

That just added a little fun and excitement to our day.  It's been so long since I've had a gas car (er, regularly used gas), that it didn't even cross my mind that we obviously have some gas reserve.  Until I just typed this out right now!  

{Actually, now I am second guessing that last thought.  If it says "low fuel", is that the extra gallon of reserve?  I think it is, with newer cars.  I just looked it up and it's a 8.9 gallon tank.  We used 8.4 gallons.  So we were running as low on gas as we thought we were.  In the old cars, they'd go down to "empty" and you'd still have a gallon.}

In the end, we found cheaper gas anyway.  In the middle of nowhere.  It all worked out. 

When I thought that MM(18) would blow through his college dining dollars too quickly, I decided to cash out the kids' high school lunch money.  I had about $250 prepaid.  MM(18) never went back to school (in person) and so I transferred his money over to DL(16).  But he's getting free lunch indefinitely.  Initially I liked the idea to have senior year just paid for (while also having big expenses like college).  But I don't even know if DL will have to pay for lunch next year.  It took me a few tries to reach someone but just got confirmation that they are mailing me a check.  Yay!

In the meantime, MM(18) has things figured out pretty well.  The max college dining plan came with coffee and soda bonuses that seemed pretty useless (MM is not a coffee or a soda drinker).  But he figured out that he could buy food at the coffee shops and it counted as "coffee".  So he has an extra $300 to spend down.  It sounds like he will probably squeak by this first quarter.  

My very rough estimate from grocery spending at home was that MM(18) was about half of our grocery spending.  How did this shake out in October?  We spent $550 of our $850 grocery/household budget, allowing me to save $300 towards college food expenses.  I am very pleased with this first month.  That $550 included some food bought for MM(18), feeding a film crew, and also a *lot* of food waste.  We are figuring it out but it will take some time to adjust to our eating habits.  Plus, we've just been in survival mode and will continue to be for a while.

I think that $500/month will be a good estimate going forward (saving $350/month to offset college food costs).  But it will take many months to average out.

MM(18) is not spending any money on campus.  He is enjoying the all-inclusive lifestyle.  He's traveling to LA some weekends to work on a joint project with another college.  So he does spend some money on food on the road.  I expect he also has to contribute some to gas.  I've seen a couple of ATM and venmo withdrawals (from his money/accounts) but haven't asked him about those in any detail.  I know he had some club dues to pay, and I just presume he is contributing gas when he gets rides to LA.  

We get him home for Thanksgiving break, so we are excited about that.  

Blogaversary post from 5 years ago (well, some bits and pieces from that post):

We just happen to be on track to hit $1 Mil when our kids should be finishing up college. I am not comfortable dropping down from full-time work until I have a really clear picture of college plans. So I think it works out that those two goals will be hit around the same time. ($1 Mil will be plenty for us to retire on).

I expect that by 50 we will be financially independent. At that point we will just have to regroup. I am not planning to shift to part-time work the day I turn 50 or on the day my kid graduates college. But I think that is just the point in time where we will be running the retirement numbers and fine tuning the final plan. Retirement has been our only substantial financial goal since our kids were born, but in our 20s it was just so far away and nebulous. I think we are allowing that at age 50 it should be a lot more clear and turning into a much shorter term goal.

We also have to decide where on earth we want to live. We know we want to downsize and move. That's all we know. I suppose it depends where our kids and parents are at that time. It's important for us to be near family. I expect the "where" to impact our working/retirement plans in our 50s. 

Other than trying to save up as much as possible, the next 10 years seem pretty nebulous. I don't know that I know much of anything. I expect a lot of change. We've been really boring and stable since having kids, but when I look beyond their high school years we are pretty much open to anything. We don't know where we are going to live. Our kids aren't on any set college path yet. My job is very finite. MH still has no idea what he wants to do when he grows up. I have *no idea* where we will be in 10 years. I'd just like to be on very solid financial ground, and if we achieve that then the rest doesn't matter. The rest is whatever we want it to be.

Things have progressed pretty steadily.  I posted recently that we hit our "financial independence" number (or would likely hit the number this year), but it is kind of useless at this point with the real estate market.  We will need to revise our number upwards as real estate just gets more expensive.  The overall goal is $1 Mil + a paid-for home.   We can achieve this in the next 5 years.

The biggest thing that happened these past 5 years is that my job ended.  I hadn't searched for a job in 17 years and felt a lot of stress about it (I knew I would never stay once my employer retired).  But I knew my job was too good to leave early.  Hindsight 20/20, glad I held on to the bitter end.   I mean, until a reasonable bitter end.  It was difficult to find work/life balance I had become accustomed to and also was difficult to find anything near what I had been paid before.  But it ended up all falling into place.

With the job change, I was just very open to anything.  Mostly wanted to dip my toes to see if the grass was greener.  The grass is *way* greener.  I no longer work in tax, so I no longer work OT hours whatsoever.  I really wouldn't have been surprised if I went for a higher power higher paying job for a few years to get my kids through college (though otherwise so NOT me).  But I was able to find a much easier job with less hours, and I am happy with that shift at this point in my life.  The grass is *way* greener.  Overall compensation ended up the same, but hours/responsibilities decreased.  

We also figured out one half of the college equation.  MM(18) ended up going an extremely practical route, choosing a very low-cost public in-state college that will open up a lot of doors for him.  

DL(16), I have absolutely no clarity on that and will have to let that sort out over the next few years.  

I think the one surprise and big question mark at this point is the health of my family.  Not only is my parents' health declining rapidly (which is a possibility I hadn't thought much about, that they'd need so much help at this point in my life, as I expected in the short run that one could take care of the other).  Not only is that quickly changing, but my BIL has some mystery illness now.  I never expected my sister to still be alive, but with everyone else not doing well, it is for the first time crossing my mind that I might need to eventually be a caregiver for my sister.  I don't know the odds of that, but was nothing that had ever crossed my mind before.  I expect this "last 6 years of getting our kids through college and reaching financial independence" to become more challenging on this family/health front.  I don't know if I might have to take some time off work before crossing that finish line or how things will play out.

What a week!

So...  After breaking the record streak of no rain.  We immediately broke the record for the most rain in one day.  ???  This caused much chaos.  There's 7 whole people in my office and 3 of them had leaks/issues.  (Our region is not prepared for that kind of weather).

I felt lucky I was able to make it to the hospital for my appointment (with all the flooding and fallen trees).  Phew!  That went as well as could have.  I've got better answers for medical problems I had this year (should be fixed now).  & I had a biopsy done that came back benign early in the week.  Phew!  

{This will be our most expensive medical year ever.  We've all had random health things this year.  Plus MH and I both have had cosmetic cyst removals/biopsies.  The icing on the cake is that MM(18) was referred for wisdom teeth removal.  All of these are extra on top of our health insurance/deductible.  But we did max out our deductible already with all our other medical stuff, so my procedure this week and MH's annual MRI should be $0 or a small co-pay}.

Oh yeah, speaking of medical...  & then MH fell.  So that's more medical stuff in addition to wondering if he'd be able to work, etc.  Just more roller coaster.  He did go to the Doctor mid-week and things seem okay as of today.  He's moving slowly and in pain but is working through it.  Nothing serious.

MH's Grandfather did end up passing early this week.   It sounds like it went about as well as these things can go.  There was time enough to say good bye but not enough time to linger/suffer.  

To be clear, my last post was more about how I am relieved I don't have to drag my entire family to the east coast (and pull MM out of college, etc.).  & most especially when I had that conversation (in the past) re: much younger kids.  Whatever MH wants/needs to do, will just take some time to sort out.  Money is no object, nothing is more important than family.  

The peace was nice while it lasted.  Will take it whenever I can.  It was nice being able to post daily minutiae and not have any major drama in my life, for a few weeks.

That said, MH is out of town and I have a medical procedure next week.  The chaos is just increasing and I was feeling "meh" about getting through the rest of October with sharing daily expenses.  I guess also work has been pretty busy for MH and so we are no longer in "one income" mode.  

MH's Florida Grandfather ended up in the hospital last week.  Initially he seemed to be doing well and I wasn't overly concerned.  He turns 94 this next week, but we are used to the medical professionals under-estimating our 90-something Grandparents.  MH then talked to his parents Friday night and they said they were basically sending him home to die.  It doesn't sound like he is expected to even make it to his birthday.  But I don't know any details and presume we will get more.  They were trying to fly out yesterday (not sure if they made it with all these canceled flights).

I knew it was likely that this summer's Florida trip would be the last one, but I didn't think that MH was cutting it quite this close.

We are waiting to hear more from his parents before deciding how to proceed, but I am guessing MH is going to leave it that he will just be grateful to remember him the way he saw him (more healthy than this).  & I was wise and asked MH's family at some point about funeral expectations in his family and they were very much, "Funerals are for the living" and, "We'd rather you spend your time/money enjoying relatives while they are alive."  Today I am grateful that we already had those conversations and I am not left wondering if we will all be obligated to attend some funeral.  (Meaning, having to drag my kids and everything).   That's how my family is (not much for funerals, and never expected to attend the ones that were had thousands of miles away), but this is the only one of MH's elderly relatives who doesn't live close.  Heck, there hasn't been a death in his family the 26 years we have been together.  This is probably why I asked.

October 18

$11 Lunch

$80 Groceries

Dinner:  Leftovers

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I have to preface this post with the fact that MH is a, "Hell would freeze over before I eat out" personality.  Most especially when it comes to lunch at work.

Anyway, this is what I come home to today:  A bag of chips in a brown paper bag.  MH is asleep.  I don't think he did the grocery run he had planned today (a small one).  I look on the dining card and there's a $11 charge at a Taqueria.  My presumption at this point is that he worked a *long* day, didn't make it to the store.  He was called back to work 5 hour days; has mostly been working 6 hour days.  I guess he worked longer today.

This is what I am presuming with the clues I am left with.  

{MH just woke up and confirmed my conclusion.  He just went to the grocery store.}

Groceries ended up being $80.  This is an expense to feed people on the movie set this week. Will just absorb in our grocery budget. 

So the rain yesterday broke a record 7-month dry spell? The sky was amazing today (it's bee a while since I've seen clouds?).  You can see from this picture the day had a fall vibe to it.  The red tree and the sky was just so pretty. 

October 16

$97 Groceries

$1 Movie Prop

Dinner:  Cheeseburger Pasta

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MH picked up a prop at a thrift shop today.  $1 for a "creepy doll".   Might pick up a couple of other options.  The original prop was lost to the big/recent fire. 

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October 17

$65 Allowance MH

$40 School Pictures

$12 Home Depot

Dinner:  Potato Soup

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Spendy day.

MH purchased a weighted blanket.  He went "cheap" for proof of concept.  He might want to get a nicer one if it works for him.  He sleeps terribly and I am sure is a good investment for either him or DL(16).   I probably won't put it in the "allowance" category with my bookkeeping, but is the best way to describe it at this point.

MH did go out to lunch, met with another film backer.  In this case they wanted to make it this whole expensive double date restaurant thing.  I resisted when MH brought up a while ago.  When he mentioned again last night, I said nope.  No way.  I probably would have sucked it up if he gave me more notice.  Anyway, I don't see this charge anywhere.  Did MH have some cash or pay with venmo??  Will ask him later. 

Edited to add:  He paid cash.  He told me he had "too much cash" in his wallet.  I have no idea from where.  I told him to give it to me to deposit next time.  Yeesh.  But for today, it's a budget cheat.  I don't have to figure out how to pay for it, so whatever.  Now that I type this out, it explains better how he spent $20 on those last couple of dinners.  Probably was paying the tab and getting reimbursed cash.  (Probably anything more than $0 is "too much cash", for reference.)

On the way home MH picked up a pack of light bulbs.  One of the kitchen lights went out a few days ago.

Some strange wet stuff started falling from the sky.  MH is *freaking out* because is supposed to get this movie finished this week.  After all the COVID/fire delays.  Rain wasn't on our radar whatsoever.  Unfortunately, during the last few apocalyptic fire seasons, the rain has been very "too little too late."  So we might cancel due to rain this week and it could still be the fire apocalypse the next week.

The in-laws drove down to see MM(18) this weekend, and brought him more food.

Oh yeah, I didn't clarify when I mentioned that he is sick.  There are virtually no COVID cases on his college campus.  He is vaccinated and he hadn't been exposed, so he wasn't required to test.  But he did take a test on Thursday out of curiosity (it was easier to get a test when he felt better and wasn't blocked from going everywhere on campus).  I presumed it was negative because he did meet with his grandparents.  He confirmed today.  Everything else is going around.  The dorm plague, as they call it.  

2021 TALLY:

$800 Cash (Chase Sapphire Quadruple Dip, MH) 

$30 Venmo ($10 x 3 Sign Up Bonuses)

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$830 TOTAL *ONE-TIME REWARDS*

**In addition, various monthly rewards that I will tally at 12/31

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I don't personally have any reason to use Venmo.  I tested a free $10 bonus at some point, just for opening an account.  Was more just testing it out for MM, before he turned 18.  

MH was intrigued since money is flowing around (reimbursements and payments) for his movie project.  So he also signed up for the free $10 and has been using Venmo.  This was probably smart because one of his relatives Venmoed a Graduation cash gift for MM, when MH saw this relative in Florida.  It was very random and unexpected, but doubt he would have bothered if he couldn't just send a Venmo.  (& literally, no one has *ever* asked us to Venmo before.  Talk about timing).

I had MM(18) sign up for Venmo when he turned 18.  I just noticed that he used it for the first time (saw a withdrawal from his bank account).  I figured he'd get some utility from Venmo as a college student. 

October 14

$70 Target (Groceries)

$20 MH Allowance Spending

$0 Movies

Dinner:  Leftovers

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I guess my boss didn't realize I was working yesterday and is out of town Thursday through Friday.  Makes for a *very* quiet week.  👍  

MH is off seeing a "free" movie with his unlimited pass.  & he went to Target after work today.  Not sure what all he got, but probably just groceries.  We were out of cat food.

Edit:  Found the receipt later.  Dishwasher detergent, granola bars (lots on sale), cat food, soap, etc. 

& later I saw $20 spending pop up.  I will confirm with MH that it's legit, but was some sort of movie spending (which pretty much sums up all of MH's spending).  I did think, "whoa, MH is getting spendy this month."  Probably spurred by being back at work.  But I glanced at our spending for the year and we are both up to $500 of our $600 annual allowance spending.  We both seem to be on track.  I usually do little more than glance at my accounting software at the end of the year.  We have the same personal spending budget from 20+ years ago so we just subconsciously seem to be aware. 

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October 15

$12 MH Allowance Spending

Dinner:  Indian Butter Chicken

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Yeah, MH is definitely enjoying a little extra cash flow.  More movies.  

I couldn't remember which weeks MH gets paid (every other week), after having 18 months off.  I didn't really care enough to figure it out.  But I just had this lightbulb moment today.  I still had his paychecks set up in Quicken (it pops up every 2 weeks and I have just been clicking on "ignore").  So I peeked and payday is next week.  That's nice because I pay all the bills the first of every month.  October is done and paid for.  But he will get one October paycheck.  It won't be enough to pay for our vacation last week but it will cover most of it.  I will just send his paycheck to the credit card when it arrives, to cover vacay expenses.  

October 12

$9 Car Wash

$25 Toll Tag Refill

Dinner:  Leftovers

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Today was a mixed bag.

We live in a community with a high number of retirees and self-employed.  If I want to go wait in a really long line, I do anything on a weekday.  (Sounds counter intuitive I guess, but how it has always been for me).  Today ended up being very hit and miss.  I alternated between no lines (flu shot and car wash) and excruciating waits (1 hour in a pharmacy full of sick people.  Ugh!)  The credit union (I had cash to deposit) was so crowded I just left and thought, "nevermind."  

My car badly needed a wash after 1000 miles driven in 4 days; the last trip was in the woods and on some dirt roads. 

MH is off at a concert in Oakland, with DL(16).  They found some all ages place where one of DL's favorite bands was performing.  I am trying to think of what expenses they might have.  Sounds like the parking was free.  Tickets were paid for a long time ago.

Oakland was 170 miles round trip.  That's about $4 in electric fuel.

Edited to add:  I figured there'd be a toll but it took several days to process.  I'll just put it here because it was re: the concert.  The toll was $6 but it triggered a refill on our account.  It took us 13 months to get through the last $25.

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October 13

NSD

Dinner:  Chile Rellenos

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MH got a free meal at work today. 

Dribs and drabs of money rained down from the sky.  I received a very small refund for MM's auto insurance.  (Kind of pitiful, if that was the "away from home" discount).  I will follow up later.  I also received $7-ish from some milk settlement.

Wednesday is my work-at-home day and DL's short day where I drive him to school.  This year he starts school at 10:30.  Work was fine.  I felt like everyone was giving me space and probably figured I was more busy than I was (after a week off).  It's always crazy busy, but I don't get a lot of emails in general.  Will see how tomorrow goes.  

MH drove about 40 miles east to work on his movie.  They were doing some voice over?  I don't know.  MH told me at some point (last week) this week would be crazy busy.  Indeed. 

October 10

NSD

Dinner:  Greek Chicken Penne

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Another No Spend Day.

Things that would have been nice 10-20 years ago:  MH's cousin just made the lower-cost move to our locale.  This was always their plan, to move here when their eldest started high school.  So it wasn't pandemic or recently motivated.  But the pandemic probably made it an easier transition.  They both have kept their mega high paying Bay Area jobs, for now.  

They moved here a couple of months ago but are just finishing up their move and getting more settled.  So we went over last weekend to see their new home.  They have chickens, so we scored some fresh eggs.

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October 11

$9 Groceries

$10 Donation

Dinner:  Burritos

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MM(18) was radio silent over the weekend and then late Sunday told us he was sick.  I have been pretty zen about him going off to college, but *this* I am not zen about.  😔  That said, I instantly felt better because he told me his high school friend (one of his best friends) was bringing him hot tea.  She brought him meals a couple of times and he is clearly being well cared for.  Phew!  That makes it so much easier.  

I did recall that the local synagogue delivers free soup to sick college students (other parents have brought up in the parent group).  I made those arrangements on Monday.  Isn't that the nicest thing?!  I left a donation.  

I've got two days off of work.  Which is helpful, and gives me some extra time to make arrangements if he does need anything.  (I took a whole week off, but straddled weeks because DL was home last week and we both wanted some quiet time).

I was envisioning some more leisurely time off but then everything got crazy last week.  I was going to run some errands today but it was crazy windy here.  To the point I didn't want to risk damage to my car.  Decided to keep it mostly inside today.  But MH went back to work and asked me to take DL(16) to school and make dinner.  So that is how my quiet day is going.  I decided to put off some other errands until Wednesday when I am working from home (and driving DL to school).  I was able to get an appointment tomorrow to get my new glasses adjusted.  I will get my flu shot while I am there.  & if I remember, I also have a store return to do in that area.  It will be nice to kill all those birds with one stone.

Hell has frozen over and I have the house entirely to myself.  It may be the first time in 18 months!  

I did stop by the grocery store on the way home (from dropping DL off at school).  I told MH I'd rather just make burritos (an old family recipe).  MH told me we had everything on hand for that.  But later figured out that we needed tomato sauce.  I picked up some almonds for $5 (I am not sure MH knows those are on crazy sale on Mondays.  We already had two bags, but it was 50% off!)  Sunflower seeds were 60% off so I picked up some of those.  Got a few cans of tomato sauce, some sourdough bread, snacks, and some flowers.  Spent $9.  Yup, I used up the quarterly grocery store bonus/reward of $19.  That was a nice surprise!

MH asked me to cook dinner because he had a focus group.  It was $65 for about 1 hour.  Definitely a good money day.

This was the first time MH has been back to work since May 2020.  He said it was definitely a smaller crew but it was busy.  I am still not holding my breath.  Not expecting great hours or consistent work until things get more "normal". 

It ended up being a very good day.  I just needed some leisure and quiet.  I was skeptical early on how "leisurely" it would be, but a quiet house and an extra 8 hours goes a long way. 

October 9

NSD

Dinner:  Burrito Bowls (chicken, black beans & rice)

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First No Spend Day (NSD), this month.

We drove up to camp and spent the day cleaning cabins.  It was good to go up there, it wasn't quite the hellscape we imagined.  & at work everyone was telling me (based on their own personal fire experiences), "Will never get the smoke smell out!"  

The camp itself (all of the buildings) were spared but the sewer lines and water lines were damaged.  I guess it sounds like maybe they got that fixed (had to get fixed before winter).  They had one bathroom up and running.  Ash had blown into all of the buildings and there was smoke damage.

We volunteered to help all day.  It was not bad at all.  Just more of a thin film of ash on everything. I personally did not smell smoke.  After we had cleaned out one of the cabins and locked it up, MH went back at some point to get something.  He said it was already starting to smell smokey inside that cabin, after locking it up for maybe an hour.  But we got the sense that it will at least air out quickly. 

The region in general did smell very smokey.  On the road, we smelled a lot of smoke.  I don't know how long that will last.  It's just the lingering smell of smoke.

Holy cow, it was *cold*.  I did check the weather and we wore appropriate clothing.  Phew!  They told us when we got up there that it had snowed the day before.  The water was not useable until around noon (pipes were frozen). They are just rushing to get everything cleaned up before it gets colder.

We left camp feeling like it's feasible it will be open next summer.  Open and a pleasant experience.  

October 8

$24 Dinner Out (MH)

$15 MH Allowance Spending

$12 Groceries

$21 Gas

$0 Electric Fuel

Dinner:  Sausage Sandwiches

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MH had another dinner out.  I was confusing people (that I've never met).  He's meeting up with his crowd funding backers and distributing swag.  If the contribute X dollars they get a movie poster, stuff like that.

So this guy wants to hear all about how the movie is going.  MH tells him his crowd funding didn't go as well as he had hoped, but he is terrible at asking for money.  Mentions he may spend $1,000 of his own money.  This guy offers to pay for it.  !!!  Which of course just weirded MH out.  No way he is going to ask for that kind of money from anyone, much less someone he barely knows.  As he tells me this I am just, "Wait, is this the young retired guy?"  Nope, some other young guy who apparently has money to burn.

MH met this guy at a pub.  He was planning to get there early (between appointments) and had some time to kill.  So how happy was he to pull up into the parking lot to find free chargers!  I think he got about 75 miles of free charge.  

Earlier in the day, MH told me that we were dumb and that we needed gas for this weekend.  We had plans but I thought we were taking the electric car.  He also asked me what I wanted to make for dinner, since he was busy.  He ran out to get gas and groceries.

We recently rediscovered sausage sandwiches.  I used to make these all the time and then just lost track of this meal, I guess.  The kids *love* it.  We already had some sausage in the freezer but MH went to pick up some bread rolls and some other random groceries.

October 7

$247 Hotel

$43 Lunch & Gelato

$11 Gas

$10 Electricity (Fuel)

Dinner:  Out

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This is all vacation spending.  I am coming up with a grand total of about $450.  We had $9 left in our vacation budget for this year.  I was planning originally to just take DL(16) on this trip and to use MH's income to cover this.  It sounds like it will probably work out.  MH should be working next week.  (We have more than ample savings if MH's job falls through again).

We've stayed at this hotel a bajillion times over the years and have never had any problems.  But in this case, they didn't have our ocean view room.  They initially told us they downgraded us to a regular room and we were mostly *shrugs* about that.  Given the increased spending with bringing a third person on the trip.  But we stood around waiting for a long time, and they found us an ocean view after all.  Of course, this all seemed to come down to "lack of staff/new employee" issues, as with everything these days.  MH got the impression they were giving us a bigger discount but as far as I can tell they just dropped $10-$20 for the trouble.  But there were a few charges/credits on the credit card so I can see maybe we didn't receive the discount they were attempting to give us.  It's been a few days and it looks like $247 is what came through.  In addition, they gave us $50-off our next visit.  Which is really more than necessary for a little bit of standing around.

Of course, we had just had this whole talk on our beach walk in the morning.  It was never my intention to go back to this hotel after move-in.  It's just that DL(16) specifically wanted to stay here and it was going to a mom/son trip.  As we walked on the beach that morning MH said we should really just stay in Solvang the next time.  I told him, "Or the hotel right by the college."  Both of which would cost about half as much.  This beachfront hotel has free public parking and a lot of surfers park here.  I was telling MH, "We could always come over here for a beach walk, charge up the car, eat at our favorite resaturant."  Saves $100 for much of the same experience.  So of course, now we are tempted by that free $50.  We *may* use it during Thanksgiving break.  We've stayed there a couple of times after Thanksgiving because it was such a good deal.  & now we have the double reason of dropping MM(18) back off at school.  We don't have any firm plans on that though.  He has so many friends he can catch a ride from and the grandparents seem really keen on picking him up and doing most of the driving.  (They also want to keep him all week but clearly that is ridiculous.)  

We were able to charge our car overnight at the hotel.  Most these electricity providers just charge $10 at a time and then refill when you use your $10.  I just see a $10 charge.  I am looking it up and we spent $12 on electric charge ($6 x 2).  That was for 100 miles of range; 50 miles in Solvang and another 50 miles at the hotel. 

{We drove 800 miles total on this trip, about 150 miles on electric and 550 miles gas}.  

We did eat lunch and dessert at our favorite Pismo Beach place.  MM(18) was too busy with classes, so we didn't see him again or have to feed him.

We drove for 3 hours towards home and then took a break for MH's movie.  DL(16) and I spent some time with GMIL and then my parents.  We ate a late dinner with the in-laws and then got home around 10pm.  This became a more rushed trip when MH joined us.  I wasn't going to board my cat for this trip and we really needed to get home to take care of the cat.  Our original plan was to keep it looser and maybe stay another night.

We did stop for gas where we always used to stop, about half way home from the Bay Area.  We stopped to fill up at a 7-11.  We maybe haven't been there for a year?  I noticed some "7-Eleven" electric chargers.  They were comparable to gas prices, but I just thought that was incredibly smart.  I would 100% just stop and charge there.   

We were just cutting it close on gas (and had used up the electricity) so I asked MH to just put in two gallons.  Is what I like to keep in the car.  Electric vehicle recall aside, I never use gas any more.  2 gallons seems to be a sweet spot where I'd otherwise just get gas once per year.  (It will burn off a little gas in more extreme weather or during maintenance mode).  To explain why we only spent $11 on gas. 

This trip ended up being interesting in that I was feeling bad I just had no mental energy whatsoever to take DL(16) on any college tours.  Probably should have because it's his fall break this week.  But. So. Exhausted. with everything college.  Anyway, it worked out pretty well.  DL(16) viscerally hated absolutely everything about MM's college and dorm.  After about 5 minutes he just wanted to leave.  MH tells me this at some point.  MH and I never did the dorm thing, we somewhat understand.  We just aren't as moody and dramatic as DL(16) is. By itself, was probably a good experience to get him thinking more realistically about college.  He wants to go away (somewhere less urban and more rainy).  I highly doubt he will be up to that at 18, but also figure it's a bridge to cross in another couple of years.  A lot will change in 2 more years.

Anyway, MH's aunt was with GMIL (when we visited) and she used to work at a community college.  She goes on some community college spiel and DL(16) is intrigued.  She's also excited about the possibility of community college becoming free.  I guess that's being discussed politically.  I am just, "Um, it's already free."  Has been free in our state for a couple of years, and before that it cost pennies.  We have always been very pro community college but I can tell from this conversation that no one has ever really explained community college to DL.  He's kind of just, "I didn't know that, I didn't know that's how it worked."  Which I guess is where we failed, as clearly no other adult (in his life) is particularly pro community college.  Anyway, while MIL is like readying his room for him (he can live with her while he goes to college!) - she's a *lot* - I expect he may change his mind a few times during these next couple of years.  But I think it was a really fruitful trip in that I think he's getting more realistic about college options (re: what will actually work for him).  & he is intrigued by the middle ground of maybe going away to college in more of a "baby step" kind of way.  Up until this point, he's only been talking about going to college out-of-state. 

So I guess we got some serendipitous college exploration out of this trip.  

October 6

$68 Dinner/Food

$31 Gas

$20 Souvenirs

$4 Parking

Dinner:  Out

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This is all vacation spending.  

We spent $4 parking on the college campus.  First stop was the college/dorms.  Parents eat free at the dining hall, so we figured we'd just take advantage of that.  DL(16) wasn't hungry, just had some of our food.  The food was pretty terrible, I can see why everyone is complaining about it so much.  & it's compunded by the supply chain disruptions and lack of workers, etc. 

Then...  We tried *again* to make it to Solvang.  My friend told me about it a few years ago.  She called it "Free Disneyland."  😁  It's a little Danish town.  That said, every time we try to get there, the trip is canceled!  So I wasn't holding my breath, but the third time is the charm.  Finally made it.  

Gas ended up being cheapest in Solvang.  A note for next time.  So we pretty much filled up the tank when we got there, which should be enough to get us home. 

I spent $20 on souvenirs (very rare for us) and even DL(16) spent some of his own money on a couple of things.  

We tried some food at a couple of bakeries and then went for a walk to a park and a small hike.  Killed some time since we aren't big shoppers and weren't particularly hungry.  For dinner we went to a sausage/beer place that was very good. 

We did find a reasonable place to charge the car (the parking was all free) and so we charged up enough electricity to get back to the hotel.  It was probably equivalent to gas prices, but the electric drive is just so much better overall.

After that we checked into our hotel and went for a night walk on the beach.  Eventually we had to let go of MM(18) and take him back to school. 

October 5

$27 Lunch (2)

$25 Gas

Dinner:  Leftovers

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MH generally *never* eats out.  So it's a big deal that he has been out socializing/networking a bit with his film group.  He met up with a mentor of sorts for lunch.  They went to this restaurant that is getting a lot of attention in recent weeks for best mexican food in the U.S., something like that.  I texted him at some point how lunch was.  He said, "meh."   MH spent $22 on this extravagant lunch.

I felt terrible on this day but had to push through and wrap up work, and then hit the road for our trip.  Dr. Pepper is my magic "settles the stomach" food and so between that and feeling pretty terrible, I decided to just order out.  I had this thought cross my mind that I hope it wasn't a cluster.  I generally never go into stores (except very rarely), that was long before the pandemic.  MH does most the errands and grocery shopping.  So it was interesting the two times I went into a store this summer, the cashiers were walking out (of the job) both times.  !!  So that is why I had this fleeting thought that I hoped I could pick up a decent meal at Burger King.  Nope!  I am 3-0 at this point.  I went just for the Dr. Pepper basically but they didn't have any.  I was kind of flustered and asked for a coke (no coke either) and settled for the Root beer she suggested (maybe all they had).  I usually pop my burger in the microwave for a few second when I get back to work.  Ugh, it looked half burned and so unappetizing.  It was okay but wish I hadn't looked at it closer.  Hindsight 20/20, I should have abandoned ship and just gone to Taco Bell for a Dr. Pepper.  I stopped eating there though because they keep changing their menu.  I didn't think about it until afterwards.  

DL(16) is a bit of a health freak and was excited that I stopped eating fast food during the pandemic.  I assured him my "once in a blue moon 400 calorie meal" wasn't going to make a difference in the grand scheme of things.  😉  I usually just order off the value menu.  I spent $5 with the soda.

After dinner we packed up the car and headed out.  I mentioned briefly that our electric car is under recall.  The super short version is that we will get a new battery/warranty (will take a while because replacing batteries in every single Bolt).  In the meantime we are parking outside and still using the car for 99% of our driving.  We just can not take it on long road trips.  Full charges and deep discharges increase risk of battery fire.  I expect this would not affect us at all if it wasn't for the "kid at college" thing.  But we are sticking to the hybrid car for college trips, until we get either the newer software fix and/or a new battery. 

Thus, we had to put gas in the car.  !!   It's an 8 gallon gas tank, already has some gas in it, and MH got a 50-cent off coupon (per gallon).  

What we packed up for MM this trip: Some homecooked food, mail, vaccine card, binder paper, light jacket, ceramic bowl, mugs, more soap, graham crackers, nuts, string cheese, granola bars, popcorn, wheat thins, bananas.  We also delivered some fresh baked cookies and home grown apples from MIL.

We left Tuesday night but stayed with in-laws, just to break up the drive a little bit.

HOTEL:

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$50 Hotel Coupon

MOVIES:

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$100 Regal

$50   Tower Theater

RESTAURANTS:

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$50 Cracker Barrel (small balance left)

$50 Olive Garden

$25 Chili's

$5   Jamba Juice (Gift)

$ 25 x 3 Jamba Juice (Gifts)

RETAIL:

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$100 x 2 Target (Emailed/paper gift cards)

$25  Kohls Gift Card (DL Christmas Gift)

Note: Edited over time to remove used gift cards. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Long story, but I got a $50 credit for the beachfront hotel by MM's college.  I don't want to forget about it, so am adding it to my list.

October 4

$159 Groceries/Household

Dinner:  Crockpot Chili

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I don't know what to say about grocery spending.  I asked MH if he got food for two weeks or what.  He said not much food for dinners, was mostly a lot of "little things add up."  Will see...  Was hoping for a $500 or less grocery month.  Not at this rate.

Crockpot chili was requested by the college student.  We brought him 2 (teen-sized) servings of leftovers.   Oh yeah, and some of those groceries were for the college boy.  Stocked up on some snacky food that he can keep in his dorm room.

I did also make some pumpkin bread (mostly for MM).  Was my contribution for something more home-cooked.

Edited to add:  We just went over meal planning and MH has like 7 dinners to cook.  This is 4 days after shopping *& will probably last two weeks.  Plus we were gone a few nights.  I know we will need some groceries but I think we will be set with dinner for at least another 10 days.

October 3

$3 Car Wash

Dinner:  Leftovers

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MH was busy volunteering all day. 

I made a small list of chores.  First and foremost, I took MM's car to the car wash.  The car wash was broken last I tried.  This time I succeeded.  We moved the kids' car into the garage.  Ugh.  Super long story.  But will just say that our electric car is under recall and relegated to the outside.  (One of these days, I might get to that post).  The silver lining is we can easily garage car #3 while it is mostly unused.  There is no way we would otherwise drive the gas car or put it in the garage.  But it's just one less thing to deal with and keep track of, if we can garage it.   The car has like a rack on top and the top of the car still looked pretty dirty (the car rack clearly impeded the car wash).  I had rinsed a bunch of ash off the car (when the car wash was broken) and put it through the car wash today.  & the top of the car still looks dirty.  We will put the car outside when MM(18) is home.  Will add it to his list to wash the car when he is here.  He can reach the top of the car way more easily than I can.  (We really don't wash our cars very much, but the outside cars get so much more abuse).

I was also going to put air in the tires, but his tires were okay.  So I might also put that on MM's list when he is here.  Or whenever it's not 90F degrees.  🙄  We just put air in our (newer) car tires, because the air sensors were freaking out with the cooler mornings.  

Driving the old gas car was a painful experience.  I hated everything about it.  (My freeway acceleration and braking were more reminiscent of my "learning to drive" years.)  & I didn't even think to look at the gas tank.  I am used to my car always being charged (I plug it in every night).  I just didn't think about it.  Hopefully MM(18) left some gas in the car.  😁  (It did occur to me a few hours after I got home.  I expect I will forget to check by the next time I drive it again).  

I left this post (draft) for a couple of days and I don't remember what all I did Sunday.  Mostly a weekend of rest.

October 2

$18 Fandango (movies)

Dinner:  Falafels

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The plan today is for a NSD.  Will see how it goes.  MH has another volunteer shift today.  I certainly have no plans to leave the house.

Edited to add:  Money was spent.  See below.

We spoke to MM(18) very briefly today.  He squeezed us into his busy schedule.  My heart is very happy.  He was always so bored with school and so I am just crying tears of joy after talking to him.  The workload (very easy freshman schedule, assigned by the college) is easy and that part is probably boring to him.  But he's joining several clubs and getting a variety of hands-on engineering experience.  He was basically planning to spend the day in labs and machine shops, learning a lot today.  & was very excited about some math/physics project he is working on for one of the clubs.

We did discuss the food last week.  After seeing his food spending detail and seeing other parents complaining about "airport food prices" at the college dining halls, we told MM(18) to just eat out if it was better/cheaper.  That we'd cover it, if it saved us money overall.  So I was surprised he hadn't eaten out at all.  Anyway, we talked to him today and he told us he was figuring it out.  Was telling us he had found $3 potatoes.  & I mean, cooked/prepared potatoes in the dining hall for $3. & I am going to bring him some ceramic bowls for oatmeal, stuff like that.  He's getting a feel for what is filling and some of the better values.  I'll probably give it another week or two before I look at it again.  We have a "redo" end of October where we can change the dining plan.  But my crystal ball says he will still run out of money before the end of the quarter, and that we won't be changing his plan downwards.  We've already chosen the max dining plan.  (I figured that was a safe bet).

My trip is getting complicated with the change from 1-2 people to now 3 people.  MH had movie plans (free with his pass) to see the new James Bond movie.  We re-arranged those plans today.  Which was really irritating me for a while.  But we finally just re-arranged the puzzle pieces and got it all figured out.  Phew!  Once we figured it out, everything fell into place.  We are splurging on the hotel and dinner out (x4) one night, but that should be it.  MH used a Fandango gift card (that I won) to get a free movie ticket for himself, but he's going to the movies with his Dad (a stop on our drive home) and he picked up a ticket for his Dad.  Thus, $17 spent today.  In turn we will get a free place to stay for a night and a free meal. 

October 1  

$7 MH Allowance Spending (Patreon)

$0 Target (Groceries/Houehold)

Dinner: Leftovers

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Well this will be interesting.  Because any time in the past I have recorded daily exenses in blog, our biggest spending was generally groceries and gas.  No longer feeding an athlete teenager at home, the grocery spending should change drastically.  Also, we are driving 100% electric.

I just perused the credit cards and a patreon charge posted today.  Might have been initiated another day but today is when it showed up.  That's an MH allowance thing.  

MH was planning to make dinner tonight, while at the same time complaining about people not eating leftovers.  ???  I told him I would be happy to eat leftovers (have been all week) and maybe he shouldn't cook dinner.  Still majorly adjusting and it sounds like probably some food waste in the process.  Anyway, we had that conversation in the a.m. and he decided not to cook dinner. 

MH is volunteering at the public TV station tonight.  It's the first time since the pandemic started?   They were having trouble getting volunteers so he probably over-volunteered.  But I guess it works out.  I am sure when he committed he expected to be working during the week.

Oh yeah, and MH did a Target run.  He used a gift card; about $40 remains on Target gift cards.  He picked up a couple of grocery items, some laundry detergent (will last a year?) and some cat litter.  He went yesterday because I asked him to wait until October after putting cat litter and laundry detergent on the shopping list.  Our grocery budget is $850/month but September ended up being $900.  I tried to absorb film crew food spending into our grocery budget but it was just one of those months.  

MM(18) switched to tide pods a while ago (the sport version) to get the stink out of his athlete teen boy clothes/sheets.  So I don't expect our laundry detergent usage to change.  I just mean that the family size Tide laundry detergent we usually buy and keep a year, it's still going to last a year.  Strangely, we only discovered the family size recently, versus when we had kids in cloth diapers and did laundry several times per week.  (We used a laundry service for diapers but it was still a lot of laundry!  We had to wash all the diaper covers plus babies make a lot of mess).  I can still see buying the family size when it's just the two of us.  Just so we don't have to go to the store as often.  

The big excitement this week is that MH received a 24%-off offer to renew his movie pass.  When "movie pass" went defunct he signed up for the Regal annual pass (truly unlimited movies).  They extended that with the pandemic and his one year pass just expired this month.  He might have ended up having that one pass for two years.  He was going to renew anyway, but jumped on the deal.  For someone who will easily go to the movies three times per week, that works out to about $1.28 per movie. 

I am not worried about one-income mode whatsoever.  MH has always saved 100% of his income.  We have always budgeted off of my income alone.  It's just that we are coming off a few very robust financial years and are used to having a lot of buffer/extra.  So it will be an adjustment as we get back into that one-income mode (without any buffer).  But as long as I have library books and MH has a movie pass, all will be fine and well.  We do also have a museum membership (reciprocal with other museums) and an electric car that costs pennies to run.  That last part makes traveling anywhere pretty easy (other museums, the beach, the mountains, etc.  Various low cost activities that weren't so low-cost when you factored the cost of gas).

Wednesday was a good money day.  MH got an focus group (about electric cars!).  It's next week? & will pay $65 cash.   I don't remember the last time either of us did a focus group.  

I was craving pizza and was surprised to see I had a free personal pizza at Round Table.  Woohoo!  It seems to work out generally buying one large pizza equates a big reward like a free personal pizza.  We had kind of made a big deal about getting a Large pizza before MM(18) left us.  But if we average one pizza out every other month, that's probably going to remain the same.  MM(18) will be back in November and December, and March.  I can probably squeeze some more free personal pizzas out of my big eater.

I dragged my feet for about 10 days but finally contacted our auto insurer to get an "away at college" discount for MM.  I don't know how much that will be but I am going to pocket the money.  MM(18) paid the full cost of the car age 16-18 (license, insurance, gas, maintenance, etc.).  I decided to pocket the insurance savings since we will be covering the insurance/registration in the meantime.  It will probably be at least a year before DL(16) gets his license.  In turn, MM(18) will continue to get free use of the car when he is home.  Should only be a week or two here and there.  He can pay for the gas.  I doubt we will pay for gas.  My gas budget is $0, we are driving 100% electric.   The 20yo gas car is *very* unappealing to drive, but we will do shorter trips to keep the car in good condition.  Which means probably just 4-mile round trips because I can't imagine where else we might drive it but the grocery store or maybe to DL's school.  

MH was told that work should pick up next month and that they will probably need him the week after next?  Not holding my breath, but that's the latest.  The silver lining is that MH can go with us to visit MM(18).  Of course, the whole point of that time off work was to give me some quiet time.  So much for that!  I have mixed feelings about it all because I was going to feel bad visiting MM(18) when MH was really the one having the harder time with him leaving.  Another adult on a road trip is not a bad thing.  Especially with my very moody teenager.  I was surprised that DL(16) even agreed to go with me (but expected very likely it would end up a solo trip, which sounded pretty divine).  

MM(18) continues to be uber frugal.  I don't know all the details but he stumbled upon a Rite Aid and got a $2 ice cream cone.  We used to do that all the time with our kids.  I am glad that could translate into a frugal find in his new locale.  As far as I can tell, that's all he spent his first 12 days of college.  

So that's a wee little bit of what has been going on the last week or so.  

I don't know if I will be able to keep up with it because it always seems to get very time consuming.  But I don't really know what October will hold on the grocery spending front and as our household changes.  So I decided between that and just diving back in with some minutiae posting, I will record daily expenses in my blog this month.  I always track every penny we spend (with accounting software) but this is just sharing in my blog.

I'd say overall our goal for October is to do a more frugal reset.  But that is offset by a trip we have planned to visit MM(18).  It is what it is, we have the savings for it, however it pans out.  & if MH's job comes back with decent work hours, then we might not care so much about a reset.  So I guess October is just a big mystery.  Will see how it plays out.  Mostly I am curious how the grocery spending shakes out and how much money I can shift to college food.  Oh yeah, and the other splurge-y thing is we are going to be dipping into savings probably to get this movie done.  Fingers crossed, anyway.  Yeah, October is kind of a crazy month, now that I think about it.  But through all that we are going to be figuring out how things shift with the smaller household.

We've got MM(18) all moved in at his college.  Phew!  The first week was pretty much a vacation for him.  Orientation week, with some practical orientation stuff but also a bajillion activities.  Some highlights were crawdad fishing and beach bonfires.  Classes started last week.  All my fingers and toes are crossed that the kids can stay on campus this year.  

MM(18) had never gone back to school after the pandemic started, so I can't even imagine the stimulation overload he is experiencing. 

I am personally very zen about the emptier nest.  Probably for many reasons.  MM(18) is very independent and will be just fine.  My bff attended this college and I spent many a weekend there during my college years.  So it helps that it's very familiar to me.  Also, my parents never really took us anywhere, *but* for this incredible deal of a beachfront hotel they found in the 1980s, that's about 10 minutes from this campus.  I think the whole thing would have been a lot harder if we didn't have such a familiar place to go to that first night.  We gave MM(18) about 24 hours to get settled, before we left.

I am planning a trip in a couple of weeks.  Ideally will be taking DL(16) with me.  He has never been to the college/town and would be good for him to see where his brother is living.  He asked to stay at the usual hotel and so I obliged.  But that necessitated a mid-week stay at $200+ per night versus a weekend stay at $400+ per night.  (Yeah, it's not the insane deal that it once was).  In the future we will be finding other places to stay.  In fact, MH wants to be cheap and not stay at a hotel at all (during move-in, when we visit, etc.)  I told him we were too old and well off to make that a day trip (10 hours round trip, just for the drive).  I said something like, "We aren't 18 any more."   😉  But we could probably stay with our parents for a night and make a day trip of it.  I basically set the college travel budget to -$0- once MM(18) accepted at this college.  The costs are very minimal (especially with the electric car) and can be absorbed in our regular vacation budget.  

I may be zen, but MH Is not zen at all.  He was the one home with kids, and both MM and MH have been home together mostly 24/7 the prior 18 months.  On top of that, MH just had a really rough week.  His coping clearly improved after a couple of days, even as things continued to go to heck.  *sigh*

Oh yeah, and MH was called back to work a couple of weeks ago but then that got postponed indefinitely.

I guess it's just a lot of limbo at this point.  Considering October a bit of a limbo month.  

One of the big things is figuring out the food situation in our household.  I would have guessed that MM(18) was about 50% of our household grocery spending.  I am not quite so sure now.  Besides DL(16) being picky and looking starved...  Any extra junky food I brought home has disappeared in a flash.  So I am thinking that DL(16) is just more of a stealthy eater.  Still, he is pickier with dinners.  We clearly no longer have to make dinner every night *and* double batch everything.  It's been more cooking every other night.  We are probably going to do some major revamping of our meals.  I mean if DL(16) seriously won't eat what we cook, then we will drastically change our cooking.  Feeding two middle aged people is entirely different from feeding "5,000 calories per day teenager athlete."  We don't need all the calories and so we just have a lot to figure out.  Maybe starting to mix in our future empty nest diet with "still have a very high calorie teenager" diet.  Alternating days. 

I am just waiting to see how October shakes out.  How MM's spending shakes out at college, how our grocery spending shakes out here.  If we notice any difference in our utilities, etc.  Once this starts to sort out then I can make sense of our budget going forward.

MM(18) is pretty much on his own, financially.  & I mean, we are covering tuition/room/board/medical.  I just mean anything above and beyond that.  But on the flip side, his job fell through last month and he ended the summer with about $3,000 less than we expected.  So that is why I am anxious to see how much spending he ends up doing and what he needs to cover.  Also, still trying to decide if we help him with groceries and stuff like that.  It just depends how much he is spending and how much we are saving.  If our grocery spending literally goes down by half, I could probably send him some grocery money.  It is our preference that he does not work this first quarter.  Something else to just re-evaluate mid-year.  

MM's first impressions are that he can remain uber frugal.  He's already told us he won't need a bike and that he doesn't see any reason to spend money.  It will be interesting if this still stands in another month or two.

MM has been okay with the food so far, but he also started up long distance running.  I honestly don't know if he will have enough food for that.  At home, he'd eat 5 large meals a day.  I guess that's the other thing we will have to figure out.  See if he has enough dining dollars (I already bought the biggest plan and am doubtful it will be enough).  There will be lots of tweaking everything "food" in the next few months.

& then of course, figuring out what the heck is going on with MH's job.  It is not surprising at all that is up in the air (with the pandemic) but the timing (and indecision of his employer) just sucked.  He was looking forward to going back to work and having the distraction.  

Will see how next week goes but if MH is still unemployed as of October 1, I guess we will also be going back to one-income mode.  & some of that might be shifting more financial responsibility to MM(18).  I don't know how it's all going to shake out. 

As always, the work situation is complicated.  I'd say that MH will be pretty picky until the pandemic eases and DL(16) gets his driver's license. The bottom of the barrel jobs are opening up yes, but then there's just more competition for better jobs.  His job is worth waiting out the month of October for.  If they are still delaying indefinitely or telling him nevermind, once October is ending, then it will be back to the drawing board.  Which may likely just be taking another year off.  I don't know.  I am probably more of the "screw this, just retire" mentality.  MH thinks the grass is greener and idealizes full-time work to help him deal with the emptier nest and the impending empty nest.  He is also extremely financially conservative and so wants to be working while we are paying for college.  Because of this I am sure my blog is confusing as we vacillate between these two extremes (retire or work full-time).  

Fire blew through camp last weekend (our city's family camp, in the Sierras).  The firefighters were camped out there and not a single structure burned.  🤯  It's still touch and go.  But maybe feeling a little more hopeful at this point.

By some miracle, the family cabin still stands.  It's on the west border of the fire, about one mile from the flames.  & I mean, they have that side pretty well under control at this point.  The cabin might live to see another day (or month, or year). 

The flames have blown about 30? miles east, to Tahoe.  I am looking at a map and it's about 40 miles on the twisty roads.  Maybe 30 miles as the crow flies?

The east side of the fire is about 3-4 miles from some homes we built in Tahoe (my job).  A homeowner stopped by the office this week.  He was very matter of fact about it, but said his home would probably burn down and asked if we would rebuild.  I don't know when I would have even thought about it.  Probably someone in the office would have brought up at some point.  I told MH it would be fitting, because that was some project from hell.  Between all the Tahoe red tape and the whole "Lake time" vibe when trying to hire people there.  Wouldn't that be icing on the cake for all that work to just burn up in smoke?  

Hope everyone else is hanging there with the various disasters.

The theme continues:  Life is chaotic and difficult, but finances continue to be doing great. 

Mortgage dipped below $130K, into the 120Ks...  Woohoo!  Next year we should drop below $120K.

We also officially hit our $500K retirement goal (one year ahead of schedule).  🎉🙌🥳  Actual retirement balance is something like $505K.

I am still resisting thinking about the big picture and coming up with our next goals.  Taking a break for a year or two, still.  But we will keep on track with the goals we already had.  It's just going to take some tweaking and rethinking at some point.  In addition to waiting for more clarity re: MH's employment and DL's college situation.  At that point, we can better decide our next steps.

Goals we already had:  Want to be financially independent by the time the kids are done with college.  Will continue to max out IRAs and take my employer match, to get to this end.  (Would do this anyway probably, because it's very fiscally efficient).

So we will stay on this course.  This is a fine one-income goal.  I do not know if I can literally keep putting away 20%+ of my income into retirement funds, with just my income alone.  But I expect I can continue to do this, and pay cash for college (x2) if we do just plan to shift our taxable investments into retirement accounts.  

MOVIES:

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$100 Regal

$25 Fandango

RESTAURANTS:

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$50 Cracker Barrel

$50 Olive Garden

$25 Chili's

$ 25 x 2 Jamba Juice (Birthday Gift)

RETAIL:

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$ 100 x 1 Target (Emailed/paper gift cards)

$20 Target gift card (loaded to online account)

Note: Edited over time to remove used gift cards. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I won 3 gift cards at a work event.  It was actually kind of funny because MH is lucky and always wins everything.  Apparently I stand a chance when I go solo.  MH was in Florida and DL(16) was working at my office at the time, so DL went with me.  I think technically he won one of those gift cards.

Two of them were Starbucks gift cards that I immediately gave to co-workers.  No one in my house likes coffee at all or shops at Starbucks.  But the Fandango card was a really nice and appropriate win.  Well, for MH.   Maybe he was really the lucky one after all.   Doesn't even need to be present to win.  Obviously I gave the gift card to him (the cinephile).  

I did a gift card update because I had new gift cards to add, and had removed a lot of gift cards with dorm shopping.

Restaurant/Food gift cards will languish for a while.  We went through them very slowly in the best of times.

I posted recently that we had a dramatic week.  It's only gotten worse from there.  Ugh...

A lot of mini dramas.  But the large drama is one of the big fires in our state.  I expected last Tuesday night that our family cabin was long gone.  The cabin still stands because...  The wind has been blowing (for a whole week) in the opposite direction.  Of course, now it is looking like it will be a miracle if either the cabin or our family camp site survives.  Camp is about 30 miles away, but the fire is raging in that direction and getting very close.  I never in a million years imagined a fire so big/fast that would knock out both at the same time.  😱

I looked it up, the last big fire that threatened our cabin lasted for a month.  It seemed to drag on forever.  I don't expect to have any finality to this situation for a very long time.  

Oh yes, and the miracle did not happen, MH's movie shoot got postponed indefinitely.  His filming locations are all under threat of fire.  That's a super bummer and a huge blow to MH, but a small loss in the grand scheme of things. 

This is not the stuff I want to blog about, but I did want to touch on.  I just wanted to dive back into the minutiae and try to get back into blogging. 

Had some new dramas after starting this post, so I think I will just stop here and work on a new blog post.  I will update on fires when I have anything to update.  

I finally got confirmation on the final piece of financial aid.  

I never expected any need-based financial aid whatsoever.  But our State has a middle class grant (if you attend a public college).  It just takes forever to process.  & the whole thing seemed very vague, but the dollar amount showed up in MM's 'financial aid' stuff this week.

This confirms free tuition for Year 1.  Woohoo!

I had actually just left it very "whatever" because I hadn't realized you had to pay tuition to get college tax credits.  So either he had free tuition or we had a college tax credit, it was going to all be the same in the end anyway.  I was guessing he'd get $2K-$4K for this State Grant. 

In the end it works out to: $6K scholarship + $2K Grant + $2K tax credit = Free Tuition Year 1.  

As to room/board...  The dining plan is a wash with what we already pay to feed that kid.  So I am not expecting to have any added expenses on this front.  

Dorms were a big question mark due to the pandemic.  They've gone back and forth if they will do full capacity and I didn't know where things landed.  Less roommates would equal more cost.  I personally would prefer less roommates and more cost.  (The dorms are far below market rent, and it's pennies more to get a solo room.  Not literally pennies, but when it comes to the market cost of housing it's just like nothing).  We were able to state that preference on the housing application.

The dorm ended up being much lower than I expected (probably went back to full capacity, after quoting us up front with 'half capacity' costs).  I had also completely forgotten about the deposit I paid with stimulus/unemployment money.  The total cost is $9,000.  He ended up with the cheapest option, and more roommates.   That does include utilities, laundry, everything.  For reference, is cheaper (substantially) than the rent I paid in San Francisco when I was 18. 

I decided to pay quarterly (this school is quarter system) because as much as I prefer to pre-pay things, there was no financial benefit to doing so.  Keeping track of a monthly bill would drive me crazy.  So quarterly will end up being the sweet spot.  First quarterly payments will be due September 1.

It works out to the following (after deposits already made):

Tuition $700 (will save this in taxes, but have to pay it up front)

Dorm $2750 

Dining $1050

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Total $4,500 1st Quarter

So I will be draining $4,500 from the $12K I have set aside for College Year 1.  That looks more like $15,000 Total (for the year), but will be offsetting the $2K tuition with a tax credit.  & I expect to save $5K-ish in groceries over the next year.  So really I was estimating $12K for dorm when it only ended up being $8,500 (after funding deposit with other monies).  Which leaves a lot of cash to throw at food, if my grocery estimate is way off.  If we still have 'Year 1' money left over, that's a good start to 'Year 2'.  We will spend the next 12 months coming up with the money for Year 2. 

Our credit card bill is absurd, at $4,000 already for the month.  That's roughly $2K medical + $1,200 laptop + $500 auto insurance.  Plus regular spending.  I am going to pay off $4K-ish this week.  Was just waiting to nail down college costs before I start pulling money from savings (wanting to transfer just one lump sum).   I'd say on an average month we spend about $700 on this card.   So seeing that $4K balance like 5 days into the month...  I need to pay it down for my sanity. 

Edited to add:  Finally, I saw a tip where to figure out this CA financial aid stuff.  MM(18) had a login and so we just looked at it.  They are only rewarding him 3 years of the CA middle class grant, because he is starting technically as a sophmore.  (Which might be useful for other majors, but he can't apply any of his one bajillion credits to his engineering degree). I am writing this down here because I will never remember this.  Jotting it down for now, and will get more organized later.

July was a crazy expensive 'low spend' month.  It did work out pretty well that we were so busy spending down buckets that we didn't spend money on anything else.  Thus the 'low spend' but expensive.  

MH and MM are back from Florida.  Pulled $365 from vacation fund to cover Florida expenses.

Movie filming is about 60% done.  Pulled $330 from film funds.  Reminds me, MH received some more donations and has raised $1,500 to-date.  One of the biggest expenses was going to be feeding 15 people for two days, but MH knows how to feed a crowd very well and cheaply.  I was hoping to just absorb in our grocery budget and that worked out pretty well.  Of course, this only worked because MH/MM were out of town for a week. 

We did the first round of "should buy way ahead of time" spending for college.  I pulled $300 from Grad gifts, for dorm expenses.  Fans in particular, sell out during fire season.  Laptop was ordered a while ago due to production delays but I got lucky and that didn't ship until August 1.

I've probably reached the peak of my savings for this year.  Will pay off the laptop charge September 1 and I just charged up some medical bills, in addition to a bunch of medical bills I paid off August 1  (more savings drain).   Credit card is already absurd for August, I just charged auto insurance. & we will probably be paying some big college expenses (room/board) this month, cash.

We did attempt to splurge on a couch/bed for DL(16).  Long story.  In the end, I found something kind of perfect in the $600 range.  I also randomly received an IRS refund.  I know what it was, but I thought I would have to amend my tax return and wait 12+ months to get this refund.  It was only as I sorted out July and reconciled everything that I realized that perfectly covers this splurge (the IRS refund was maybe $5 more than the couch).  

I was so relieved to cross that amended tax return off my To Do list.  Phew!  July was just...  Crazy.  In addition to a lot of medical appointments and all of the above, our parents were very needy last month.  It's been so calm (relatively) compared to recent hell years that I didn't think too much about it.  But as I was compiling in my blog one day (a draft I ended up tossing), I told MH, "No wonder we are exhausted."  I didn't even really appreciate why I felt so exhausted until I saw it all written down.  & this is not everything.  My employee is going through 12 weeks of medical procedures (I seem endlessly jinxed on this front; whoever I hire will mostly end up in the hospital and their life is a disaster).  That was while MH was gone so it was a really rough week covering for both MH and my employee.

So...  I scratched any half written blog posts (I give up) and thought I would just start over today.  

I was so wrong about being *shrugs* about DL getting a job in my office this summer, if he might just have to wait until next summer to get a job.  We made room for him in my office and he is loving the job.  I don't think I have ever seen that kid in a better state of mental health.  Phew!  I am so glad that it worked out.  Not only has it been good for his mental health, but it's very different than it was for MM(18).  MM 1000% wants to do math/science.  This job was just a means to an end.  For DL(16), he will be able to do a lot of career exploration in my office.   

That said, my schedule has been topsy turvy, carpooling with him during his shorter work days, and trying to keep him occupied.  I am relieved this is the last week.  DL(16) is back at school next week.   Fingers crossed, anyway.  (For his mental health, he needs to be there in person, and very much looks forward to it).  

This reminds me of the other thing, MM turned 18.  That's just been a lot of paperwork and stuff like that.  

Edited to add:  This week has been pretty dramatic.  It will be a miracle if MH can get his movie shoot finished this weekend, between COVID and all the fires.  😞  Crossing my fingers.  So close to that finish line...