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Falling Into Place, Falling to Pieces

September 3rd, 2016 at 08:01 am

MH got his work schedule sorted out. They are working around whatever he needs. I am not surprised, but just feel better that it's all nailed down.

The final pieces (of crazy school year 16/17) are falling into place.

We've had many discussions as to pros/cons of different strategies for school drop off and pick up, and other scheduling matters, so I am glad we aren't back to square one. We were presuming a lot about his work hours in the process.

I still have to figure out what I am going to do with DL's late start Wednesdays. But I think we will play some of that by ear. I *can* drop him off early those days at school. & maybe once he makes more friends that is what he will prefer. Just hang out with his friends before school? But for now, I think I can oblige the weird start time.

MH is going to handle Wednesday minimum days for MM. It might be the most sensible otherwise to just find him a ride. But we don't want to deal with any more flakey carpools. I think it's also for the best that MH gets a (very short) break on Wednesdays.

Drama Llama started at the new school. I am not sure yet of all of the after school music options. But I guess some of the high school classes are open to the middle schoolers as an extra period, since the high school goes for an hour longer. (Their school day is long because they require a lot of art electives). So DL was offered to take a beginning orchestra class, for free, since it was a high school class. Sweet!! In the end we decided against it though. He was feeling overwhelmed and I know it was a lot of extra driving for MH, who can otherwise pick him up on the way home from the high school. So... We let that go. The opportunity will still be there in the future. That & many other opportunities. It just wasn't right for the here and now. But we had a lot of back and forth before we came to a decision on that.

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Other than that, this week has been trying. Drama Llama(11) had a very rough week.

I never expected him to have anything but an easy transition and to love the new school. I think that mostly this is true and things are going well.

But, I've been really concerned about his mental health this week. The back story on that is that mental illness runs in my family and I've always been a little concerned about DL. Maybe hyper vigilant given my family history. That said, the only feedback I've ever gotten over the years is that I over-worry. We've been complimented many times (by teachers or other parents) about how emotionally mature he is, which always throws us off. He seemed to be mellowing with age and I started to reason that *anyone* would seem emotional compared to the three of us. Maybe I wasn't being fair to him. Everything is relative and he otherwise lives in the house of Stoic.

But... with all the change and the stress, he had a mental breakdown this week. Between MH and I, I think we were able to work through it. But it's clear to me that this is not *normal*. I expect that his teen years might be very trying. *sigh*

Anyway, one of the selling points of sending him to school with a bunch of artsy teenagers is that I've heard really good things about their counseling services. (I remember thinking that we may really need the help in the future). I didn't expect to use it like the first week of school! But, it's there. We are going to start with that. I presume they would have a better idea if we should seek out further medical help or not.

I don't know much at this point. Given past history, he may shrug this off and may not have another episode like this for many years. I don't know. Or maybe we will just have to be very gentle with him for a while. He's maybe never gone through such a big change before. I am just a little more concerned now about how he will manage the hormones of teenagerhood.

Next week is a short week and I am optimistic that it will go well. Especially now that we know how he is feeling and we are being very gentle with him. Will see... (What seemed to snap him out of it was giving himself permission to be much more gentle on himself. He is being more gentle on himself as to his feelings and as to both his school workload. It's okay to feel stressed and overwhelmed and it's okay to blow off your homework when you can't mentally function).

3 Responses to “Falling Into Place, Falling to Pieces”

  1. Bluebird Says:

    I think it could be the hormones starting up already. My 11 year old had a couple overly emotional episodes in the last few months. In talking to his friends' moms, their boys are experiencing the same thing.

  2. tabs Says:

    Just wanted to say I love that title! Otherwise, I got nothing.

  3. frugaltexan75 Says:

    {{hugs}} for you/MH and DL.

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