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Surviving

July 17th, 2015 at 05:51 am

**Today dh will be 90% done with radiation treatment. Phew!

The medical stuff alone has been fine, but it's just so much else going on.

We also squeezed out the kids' birthday parties last week. It was a crazy week and I did not agree on rushing it (BM could have certainly waited until after dh was done with treatments). But, that is what dh wanted to do and it's done.

As is, last week was pretty crazy. This week has been a little more calm and dh seems to be feeling better accordingly. I wish he could relax in a calm oasis, but it doesn't seem meant to be.

**Among other things, I was also shopping middle schools last week. We've had a million meetings, so it feels like, with the school. But it came to a head last week when dh had a short phone meeting where they were just, "No we won't do that". No explanation, and just the polar opposite of the spirit of the school and why we choose to keep BM there for middle school. There is another middle school (that just opened) that looks like a better fit on paper, but also lots of unknowns. Instead of looking forward to a unified campus and schedule the next two years for the kids this would mean the polar opposite. It gives me a headache just thinking about it. But if it is the better school for BM...

Dh has since had an hour phone conversation with the executive director (current school) who is our friend and neighbor. At least with him there is reason and compromise. So as of today I think we are probably going to stay. Thank goodness. This is still the last thing dh needs right now and is so frustrating. We tried to resolve things the last week of school. As thankful as we are to administrator friend there is no reason he couldn't have replied to our e-mails a full month ago, and it felt like he never read e-mails. Of course, he is probably expecting the principal to do her job, which she is not doing at all. Just so frustrating!

It does look likely we will end up in a compromise and this probably means red tape hell. BM will likely take a class at the community college this year. IT's red tape hell if you are in high school so you can imagine if you are in middle school. I'm at the point where I'd probably throw my hands up and give up. We have math people in the family who can tutor him and he can take a college class for credit next summer. It really seems the easiest route. I guess that is what I would do. (He could take a youth summer program at local State college but it just was like our last choice because it would be so rushed. But the plus is that it gives him high school credit for his transcripts AND would be a class with peers). If we have to rely on family help for one year out of twelve then we will have made out extraordinarily well. (BM is an extreme outlier academically. His school has always catered to his needs and kept him challenged. I think in almost any other situation he would have had to have been homeschooled. I know we have been very lucky and if this is the worst of it... Timing just sucks!).

But anyway, if I had to sum up the theme of 2015 it would be "Red Tape Hell". It's just been something at every turn this year.

**I can't talk about all that without talking about dh's job situation. Since we live in a culture obsessed with "paid work". (I have no idea. I think humans have much value beyond their paid work). But whatever, it's where our culture is at. We had been talking about next year being a time to actually consider going back to college or looking for work. My dh has often worked nights and he will be able to sleep in next year; I can take both kids to school. Maybe he has any chance in hell of getting a night job? (Day jobs don't exist, for the most part. Too much unemployment here). The thought of investing a little money in college isn't quite so horrifying with more time and money. (If waiting out the economy we'd probably still wait, but you know, it just doesn't feel quite as futile and useless as it did a few years ago). So anyway, that is where we were at. But life has 100% been a full-time job this year for dh, we are now taking a step backwards on the medical front, AND our parents want to give us all kinds of money. The last part just erases any minimal financial motivation we might have had on this front.

As of this very moment in time, the very last thing my spouse needs is a job. That is where we are at.

I don't know why this bothers other people so much. But since I am on track to retire by 50, I am not losing any sleep over it. *shrugs* It's something other people have problems with. We are perfectly content.

**I guess that plays into a financial update. Our net worth is up $42k this year and so we have achieved our net worth goal.

Payday was this week and I was able to put most of paycheck into savings. Nice to have a little boost in such a spendy year. I still have to buy Hawaii airfare and will have some medical bills next month. (I think I can maybe charge most of that up in August and pay off in September, but means I probably won't increase savings much the next two months).

We have enough assets to pay off our mortgage and keep $100,000 on hand. How awesome is that?? We had enough assets to pay off the mortgage in 2013 and I just wanted to get "well on the other side of that goal". Since then we have paid down the mortgage about $20,000 and increased investments by $80,000. I think we are well on the other side now? Big Grin

I know there will be some crossover point where we just pay off the mortgage. I think we are a LONG ways from that crossover point, but we are getting there. (Assets are earmarked for college and retirement and all that jazz). We might not get there until kids are done with college. I don't see the point in being mortgage free and borrowing for college. So don't want to be too aggressive on the payoff. Life goal is that the mortgage is our only debt ever and when we are done we will be DONE. As I have kids nearing college and driving age we are playing it safe and bulking up savings and investments instead. Hoping to eventually redirect a lot of that to mortgage payoff. Of course, if the stock market keeps on a bull run for another 5 years or so... We can revisit this conversation. But I expect for it to adjust at some point in time and don't expect every year to be this good.

Tons of work to do so will try to update more later. But I guess this is kind of a big picture post of where my head is at these days.

3 Responses to “Surviving”

  1. LuckyRobin Says:

    I am glad you guys are coming out of such a stressful time on such good financial footing. As for what other people think of the job situation, it doesn't really matter. You guys have always done what is best for your family and you always will. No one else is in your exact same situation and they simply cannot know anything true for what is of value in your lives and what is not.

  2. frugaltexan75 Says:

    Sorry for the troubles you've had with BMs school - hope it all clears up soon!

    That's good your DH is almost through with his radiation treatments. I bet you'll both sigh with relief when they're done!

    There's only two people's opinions that matter in your/DH financial/job/life living situation ... yours and your DH's. Nobody else knows the whole picture and therefore is in no place to make any kind of judgements. My two cents for what it's worth. Smile

  3. monkeymama Says:

    You are both preaching to the choir! It's hard to care less, when dealing with this kind of medical stuff. But I guess it also gets even more irritating on some other level. & lord knows my patience is a little thin right now. For that, it's nice to vent.

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