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To the Moms - Slow Down...

October 2nd, 2008 at 01:56 pm

I watched Oprah last night, and sort of regretted it.

It was about a mom who had left her daughter in the car all day, in the summer, and who of course didn't make it.

My heart SUNK when I watched it. It was really hard to watch.

This happened to a friend of a friend, in 2006 I believe. Before that time I don't know if I would have thought much but, "How on earth could you do that?????"

But at the time this happened to the friend of the friend, it was VERY unsettling. I had a 9-month-old and was completely sleep deprived. We had just started taking BM to preschool. IT was a completely new routine and there were days I forgot he was even in the car. I remember for weeks and months after this tragedy thinking, "He was so quiet. I am glad I was awake enough to remember to take him to school."

When I heard this happened, it was unsettling because I knew the exact same thing could happen to me, quite easily.

For me, it was the sleep deprivation more than anything. & these days, though I am more well rested, I am grateful LM is very loud in the car. He talks non-stop. He wouldn't be forgotten. Phew!

Anyway, the interesting thing on Oprah was the woman did come on the show to get the message out - that this can happen to you.

But not in the way expected.

The sleep deprivation was mentioned off-hand towards the end of the show.

What they were really focusing was just on women who did too much. Their brains were too full of to-do lists, they had taken so much on, and they felt such a strong need to be perfect, that they were putting their children at risk.

The show became more about how overwhelmed women (moms)as a whole are feeling.

So really the message of the show was slow down and ask for help.

& I have blogged quite a few times about that, in a sense. You don't have to be super woman and you don't have to do everything. I have blogged many times how I know a LOT of women returning to work this year. Most of them are doing too much. For various reasons their husbands aren't helping. (Some don't have husbands, some of them work out of town most of the time, some of the husbands are just a$$e$). But a lot of them have been coming to me on advice how to juggle it all. Because I am the experienced WORKING mom, and I seem to have it together, I guess.

Honey, the reason I seem to have it together is because I don't do half the stuff that you do!!!!!! I mean, that's what I have to say most of the time. It's kind of like, "Hello. Do you remember my husband? The one who stays home? Do you think I let him play video games all day and I run the entire household?" I honestly have to figure that's what they think. YEah, sure, since when do men help with the domestics?

I guess it gets under my skin. That I have a full-time-at-home spouse, and women still ask me how I have to make dinner, bathe the children, blahdeblahdeblah after work is over. How do I manage doctor appointments?, and on and on and on...

Are they serious?

So in the past I have kind of said to the young women, you know, you don't have to give up yourself to have children. Demand the help you respect and reserve. & just don't take on too much.

But I had to share. I think this is an important message. Disasters happen when you try to do too much. So slow down and take care of yourself and your children.

& give them extra hugs today. Life is short.

4 Responses to “To the Moms - Slow Down...”

  1. mom-sense Says:

    Your post hit a chord with me ... I was pregnant with #3 and plagued with morning sickness, so I laid on the couch and watched Court TV for about two months. One case was a mother who was a hospital admin who deviated from her normal routine and dropped the preschooler off at school, then didn't take the baby to the babysitter. Of course, the baby died in the car where the mother forgot her.

    And the thing that irked me is the babysitter tried calling the mother at work but there was no voice mail and the mother was in meetings all day. The jury found her not guilty. She quit her job. I wonder if she had more children after that.

    I will hug my kids today.

  2. creditcardfree Says:

    Your are right...we all need to slow down. There is so much more to life than to-do lists and soccer games.

  3. homebody Says:

    Just had a local child die at the babysitters house, so it can happen anywhere. Details are sketchy, but really horrible story.

    Monkey I know what you mean. I do not know how women "do it all". My husband did the food, all shopping all cooking, which was a lot. I never thought about food at all when the kids were growing up. Of course he spent WAY too much money, but we were well fed.

  4. reginaastralis Says:

    So, I just wanted to let you know that my friend was Anissa who was featured on the show, her daughter Peyton has cancer. I know we don't "know" eachother, but isn't the seven degrees of seperation a little ... creepy.

    She and you, and Oprah, were all right. We all have to take the time to SLOW down.

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