I just wanted to say I have been happy to see so many people returning to the blogs. Yay to the New Years!

& I feel terrible I haven't really had time to read any or participate more. Feeling very one-sided these days. Such it will be for the next few very busy months. But I will try. LOL. It's no fun to just blab blab blab and not read other blogs. I could blab less. But it is therapeutic.

Anyway, this topic has been rolling in my head since the SA blog had a topic about luck. & then since Broken Arrow mentioned how his friends called him "lucky" for paying down his debt. You know, after sleeping in the closet and putting 40% of his salary to his 401k. You have got to be kidding me. I was insulted for him.

But I also wanted to make very clear the other side. I feel very blessed for all the luck we do have. I try to embrace it and appreciate it and even give thanks daily. Sometimes I Care little more than for our food and shelter. & health. The rest really is gravy. But in the rantings of a blog that always doesn't come across.

Anyway, so when I take offense to being called lucky, these are the stupid things that come to mind from over the years:

1. I am lucky I have disability insurance

Yes, someone told me this when I took disability insurance on maternity leave. A state employee who opted out of the state insurance. regular employees don't have that option (state disability is mandatory).

Do you think with a family to support, that I would have opted out of short-term disability insurance if I was a government employee? Are you out of your mind? It cost um, about $400/year (I am sure optional plans are about the same) and I took about $25k benefits over 2 years. If I had a problem and was put on bed rest I could have continued to support my family. Benefits were around $3k/month. What a load off if I got stuck on bed rest for a few months. I could not imagine NOT having short-term disability insurance when it came to pregnancy.

2. I am lucky that my parent's paid for my college.

Well, um, they didn't. I went to state and worked my butt off to get through. But people always assume I had it real easy, my parents paid. When I was in college I went to a commuter school. Lots of older students. I always remember the few who would gripe on and on and on very loudly how they didn't have a free ride. The rest of us would roll our eyes. Who did? Not many. Most in my accounting classes were single mothers or young parents switching careers, etc. A few of them would gripe because I was young and obvious carefree. LOL. The gripers were usually the young ones. Some of them would obviously hint they thought I Was getting a free ride. Because I got good grades and didn't gripe? I Was working 3 jobs.

I also have a friend to this day that I never had the heart to tell that I pretty much did college on my own. Since I have no student loans and don't see the point, obviously I had an easy road paved by my parents. That's her assumption. She is 40 and gripes endlessly how her parents ruined her life (20 years ago by not paying for her college?). I really like her otherwise and I know she supports her parents financially so probably why I didn't have the heart to tell her. At least my parents don't ask for handouts. Yeesh. I think she has some right to gripe. But over the years it is funny how many people have made similar assumptions. A lot of the time, I don't know, you don't even see the point in saying anything. Whatever.

3. I am lucky to own a home

Well, um living on a $10k wage for a year or 2 out of college and saving the difference for a down payment. If that's luck, then so be it. I chalk it up to hard work.

Starting small with a condo. Most people I have suggested that to look at me like I am crazy.

Or working extra jobs to save money. More crazed looks.

That we moved somewhere where homes cost 1/3 where they did back home (though it broke our hearts to feel like we had to move. )

All things we did.

4. I am lucky to have such a good job

I don't think there is anything I have worked harder for towards in my life and the most frustrating thing to me. When people chalk it up to luck.

For one, when considering careers at age 18 I made a point to choose a career that I loved, would cost little to get into, and would have some measure of job security. Accounting came to mind. This could have backfired because I really had no idea what an accountant did. But I knew I loved numbers and that it seemed like the kind of job that would bring much stability and security to my life. That is exactly WHY I chose it. I didn't want to be in debt up to my eyeballs either, when I graduated. The public college in my home town had an excellent program that was really dirt cheap. & I could springboard that to a six figure career. (As my dad did in the 70s - he is an engineer - went to public school. He wanted to be a TV repairman but a community college school counselor told him to shoot for the gold and it changed his life. & he told me to do the same. Shoot for the gold. Where I got my degree would matter little as he just didn't have the means to pay for more college and he did fine in an industry where they say it couldn't be done. Yes I was lucky to have such wise parents...).

So anyway, I worked very hard, was very calculated in my career choice, and got my CPA license when I was 25.

Of course I just sat in my duff in my youth and it just all fell into my lap. Yeah, sure.

5. I am lucky my spouse can stay home

Yes I am lucky we planned from the day we met that one spouse would stay home. When we combined incomes we always made it a point to live on only one wage. We waited a few years to have kids until we felt financially ready.

All luck???????

Mostly we did the math anyway. One small wage minus daycare and payroll taxes and income taxes amounts to a hill of beans.

I'll take the random focus group money any day.

I don't think most people really think it through. What are they working so hard for? A lot of meals out and money for the IRS?

So those are my main gripes. I think I have heard a lot more stupid things.

& you have probably heard these gripes before.

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Of course a lot of the time I do say little because I do feel very lucky.

I have said many times my parents never handed me a wad of cash (well before this year anyway). & I believe that is a principle in the "Millionaire next door." Most of those millionaires were not spoiled or handed much. Which makes it easier to fight on their own, rather than sitting around waiting for handouts.

But having been raised very middle class I don't discount my luck in the least. I know the things that I had that my parents didn't. Lots of hand-me-downs. Many 0% interest loans throughout the years. Help purchasing my first car (help finding a deal I should say). HAving health insurance coverage through them through college.

Just ALL of the little things that they could not say they had when they were in college. The things their impoverished parents could not do for them. & it all makes a huge difference. That is why I cringe when I read in the forums that you have to pay your kids' college. There is so much more support to give them and to be had that will be appreciated even if you can't foot the entire bill. PArticularly if you raised them to be appreciative of what they do have. There are a million little things my parents did for me that I will always be grateful for.

I appreciate probably the most that I shouldn't have to support them as they age. BEcause they didn't go bankrupt for me.

But I know I am lucky I always had an abundance of food and shelter.

I know that we are extremely blessed to have had kids when we wanted them. I know few who do the same. 1/2 our friends are desperate to get pregnant, the other 1/2 have had 1 or 2 or 3 mistakes. I know that a good measure of planning went a long way for us, but there is so much more to the plan. The powers that be could have had very different plans. A broken condom or years of infertility. I am very humbled to that ever since the friend who bragged she could never get pregnant again, quickly ended up pregnant. LOL. I made a mental note never to get overly confident about good planning. I am all too aware of that .001% chance even with sterilization. I just chalk it up if that happens, I guess it was meant to be.

I also feel blessed we had kids when we wanted them and close in age. If it took a while for the 2nd it could have caused much financial strain. But I think we spaced them pretty well. I always felt like we would try our best though I am all too aware that we don't control the whole game. So I just feel very blessed everything went as we had hoped. I know very few who could say the same.

It doesn't help to this day to hear people criticize the fact that me and my sister are spaced 6 years apart. I just don't know what people are thinking sometimes. & yes my parents hoped we would be closer in age and suffered MANY miscarriages. People need to think a little more before they open their big mouths. !!!!!!

Anyway, moving on. I feel very blessed to be in my career. Yes, I choose a smooth and steady job with little threat of layoff like ever. BUT it has turned into a dream in recent years. With the extreme shortage of CPAs I have job security (& raises) out of my ears. I never dreamed it would be this way. & I really can't say how long it will last. Which is why I am extra appreciative it is like this in my youth. When I have small kids to raise. So it made it so I could take as much maternity leave as I wanted (maybe even years) without any worry of job security. Just how it is. I know this can't last forever and is something to be treasured while it lasts.

Though we grew up in the land of insanely expensive I feel we were very blessed that we were able to move a mere 2 hours away to start over. We at least are still close enough to family. IF we had to move farther out it would have been a much harder choice.

& of course this is without all the obvious stuff. I am lucky that our parents do just fine for themselves and have taken to spoiling us of late. That is the obvious luck. That we are healthy and all that too. (We just found out our neighbors' infant has had 2 heart surgeries already. ! I couldn't even imagine going through that).

I know we are very lucky and I try to be thankful for our luck every day.

But people say really stupid things and sometimes I have to gripe about it. LOL. I just wanted a post that said how I Feel. Somewhere in the middle. We all have a certain degree of luck and we all make much of our luck too.

Reminds me of the Serenity prayer,

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."

You can't waste your time worrying about that in your life which you can not control. But there is much you can control. & take responsibility for that part of your life. Amen.

I am not religious by any means, but I think those are the wisest words I have ever heard.