Gosh, we have had quite the week. But QUITE the Saturday!

I mentioned briefly we went to San Francisco zoo this last week. We actually went during the week and had a blast. All in all it was not a pricey trip. The zoo is excellent (as opposed to our local zoo which has issues). It only cost $13 for all 4 of us to get in, with our local zoo membership. I remembered last time we were there the food was INSANE. So we stopped at BK on the way and splurged on a $10 meal. It was probably more food than we needed but sure beat the $50 we'd pay inside the zoo. As dh says, well at least it is for a good cause. That would be fine if I had $50 to spare. But not really. So it worked out quite well. It was my mental health day and we decided to be spontaneous (which we pretty much never do - we are anti-spontaneous). So when dh started talking about packing a lunch I was like, "no way!" Was ruining the spontaneity of the moment. & I remembered well. BM really wanted cotton candy but it was $3.50. Dh and I looked at each other - No Way!!!! By the end of the day we gave in. Being spontaneous I guess.
I regret it now because I now know I could have gotten free & colored cotton candy at that. Yesterday. Oh well. So we bought that paid a $4 bridge toll and spent a lot on gas. But way under budget anyway for the month - so woohoo.

We were also spontaneous and drove to see grandma (it beat sitting in commute traffic for 3 hours+ to get home - so we drove 1 hour south and grandma treated us to dinner. We drove the 2 hours home at bedtime). Much more pleasant than toll bridge/commute hell - plus no toll on the way home. We called grandma an hour before we got there and she absolutely did not believe we were coming down. Dh had wanted to surprise her but I wanted to make sure she was home and we didn't surprise her too much. I think it worked well. Great day. I made the entire trip on almost a 1/2 tank of gas - so the van was a little more generous on mpg than usual, to boot. Woohoo.

Bunco was canceled this week because the organizer of the group left her husband and he drained her bank account. Oy vey. Bummer. One more night out for me ruined. I just don't get out anymore. & well I mention because it is a good financial lesson. Don't put yourself in a financial situation where you rely on someone 1000% for money AND they can leave you penniless. I told dh I could never understand in a million years. No matter what he could have done and how mad I could be at him, if he was caring for MY child - I can not imagine not giving him any money to live on. It's sad. It's the third friend this has happened to in the last year. Interestingly I worry about my SAHM friends who has ass husbands and no money to their names. But it is always the ones that seem together on the outside who have the serious issues at home. I guess the ones who are more honest about their situation work it out? I don't know. This woman told me some of her issues but I had the feeling she could take care of herself just fine. She probably could, but I am shocked she did not have a private bank account somewhere - seems like someone who would - it was her second marriage after all. Perhaps blinded by love...

Yesterday was a little crazy but we had a nice day. Boss invited me rather last minute to the baseball game, no kids. I felt obligated from the way he asked and he REALLY wanted my spouse there too. I guess it was a couples thing. Well we were driving home to San Jose anyway for a family party so we arranged to leave the kids and come back in time for the game. It worked out rather well. We may be a little sick of driving and not big sports fans, but we got a no-kid night out of it. Woohoo. So yesterday we drove to San Jose in the morning and had lunch at grandma's house. We had pizza and spaghetti and soup and you name it. We then went to the adoption party. Oh I have a story about this one too - hehe. But first the boring stuff. We went and just hung out for a while. They had a ton of food but we didn't eat much. & we left for home. Traffic was absolutely horrid but we still made decent time - took a few shortcuts. Arrived at the game around 7:30 or about an hour late. We had free dinner plus $20 spending money (only redeemable at the stadium). The game was kind of fun - better than I expected. It went fast because the away team got no runs until the last inning. Fine because it seemed long enough. LOL. We had all this money to spend but I was just stuffed. Dinner was for a king as is. But after digesting for a couple of hours we settled on ice cream sundaes in little plastic baseball caps that we saved for the kids. We had $10 left so we bought them each a baseball. Dh was wary but I said hell, I could sell them or use them as gifts or something. I can't say no to free stuff! They were really nice baseballs. Once we bought them we realized they are WAY too heavy for the kids to play with. So who knows what we will do with them.

After the game they had a pretty spectacular fireworks display. So good food and good fun - a really good day.

Oh but we were going to drive the compact car (we are going to the Bay Area next week as well). But just as we were leaving dh's mom calls and says she needs a ride to this party thing and to bring the van. We were kind of annoyed and I knew if she needed a ride that bad she could squeeze in the back between the carseats. But I have done it and it is REALLY uncomfortable. I had mercy. But maybe I shouldn't have. So we drove the gas guzzler. Bah. Means compact car next week for sure.

Anyway, as if I haven't blabbed enough. I guess just lots of stuff going on. The interesting thing is dh's cousin adopted a boy and had a party. Dh and I are rather against giving cards (environmentally) and giving gifts (feeling obligated). She has given plenty of gifts to our kids, but if she never gave another gift again I would be fine. We have cut obligations for gifts with most friends and family. Meaning we can truly give gifts when we want to, not because we feel we have to, and all that keeping track, blahblah. So we were discussing the etiquette for this adoption party. Seems like gifts may be involved but we were just stopping by for a bit, not staying for the whole party. The other thing is we have given tons and tons and tons of hand-me-downs to this person. I could have whipped out one of my ebay items to sell (new clothes with tags - a regift) but I wasn't really sure if it was necessary. I guess it would have been nice but dh was rather against it. We figure we could buy him a nice birthday present instead at his birthday. I don't know. I don't want to be a cheapo but there is more to it. We had been giving them hand-me-downs and we went to their place for a party and also heard they had WAY more hand-me-downs than they needed. As evidenced when we went to their home and saw the abundance of baby stuff and toys. But not only that - they have every electronic toy imaginable. Dh's cousin is VERY frugal but they make GOOD money, and since she has been married they have bought just everything imaginable. So dh turns to me after that visit and says - you know what - no more hand-me-downs. They don't NEED ANYTHING. He has a point. I'd rather give a lot of this stuff to people who need it more.

So in this spirit we didn't do anything. But it feels a little tacky. I am thinking of making a contribution in the boy's name to charity. She is actually the kind of person who would appreciate that over all. So it is what I am thinking of.

Anyway, depending on the day, according to MIL, everyone is either rich or poor. There are times she has lamented on how poor this family is. But most of the time how rich they are (salary details and everything, though you have to question the accuracy of said info). As we struggle in our own role in all of this, MIL exclaims to us that she just got them a card, because they don't need anything. She says she asked what they wanted and they asked for cash. We all laugh at that. I think that is WAY tacky. Well, we all do. She said fine, I think she bought the kid a book at the dollar store or something.

I think the whole charity thing is a good resolution. I kind of cringe at MIL's stance. Like you shouldn't have to buy a gift for a milestone because you perceive someone is rich. Particularly someone like your own NIECE. That seems pretty tacky to me as well. Dh and I came to a similar conclusion, but gosh, I can't imagine feeling the same way about a CLOSE relative. I don't know.

That is the family money drama over here. Remind me not to pretend like we have any money in front of MIL - yeesh. LOL. Of course maybe we should. Maybe she would curb the wild spending on the kids. She told me that she was only getting our kids books too for their birthday. I honestly hope she MEANs it. Not exactly holding my breath.

Anyway, I we are meeting 1/2 way to exchange kids today. 2-hour drive roundtrip for each of us then. We have NEVER done this before. But I hope it works out - seems like a good solution. She is semi-retiring this next school year and wants to take the kids more. So we'll see. We're meeting at a restaurant for lunch on her. More abundance of food. Woohoo!

I am going to go work on that donation. I can't in good conscience not give anything. I don't care how rich they are. LOL. If they don't like it they can shove it, but I truly think they will appreciate it. Unlike most of my "friends" who would view that a gift to charity as cheap and tacky. Well, we'll see. We'll certainly get feedback through the grapevine. Ain't family fun??? LOL.

ETA: I donated $20 but I should have made it $25. I'll save $5 in taxes. Just an idea I had after - and a tip!