I am still feeling a little overwhelmed.

Dh took the kids to San Jose to surprise his mom. She is now officially RETIRED. His dad will work a few more years to secure his pension.

So they went up to surprise her and take her to dinner last night.

So I am feeling very relaxed.

I am getting better at nights alone. I lived her a good year pretty much alone and really, before marriage and kids, I was quite happy to be alone.

BUT I find since having kids, the whole thing about being alone is very WEIRD.

I just remember like a year ago they went to San Jose without me (a very rare deal) and I looked very forward to my quiet night. Instead, I was so lonely I almost drove down late at night to join them. !!!

So even now I still find myself about the same. Looking forward to my time alone, and certainly planning to enjoy, and then it not being near as enjoyable as I imagined.

Today was a little better.

Last night I just vegged out. Got a really good night sleep too. But felt lonely.

I woke up and was feeling rather lazy so watched a movie. I then turned the TV off and got into gear.

I've had a few days alone, even an entire week, and I have found myself entirely unproductive. Just exhausted I guess. I generally collapse in a heap of laziness.

Today I was feeling much more motivated.

In my quest to clean the house, I decided to hit the theater room. Dh has a lot of crap in there, that I wouldn't know where to start, and that he would be angry if I went through. So I didn't know how useful this task would be, but the room has been bugging me.

I went through and found a lot of empty boxes and trash and stuff. So I cleaned up, vacuumed, and dusted in there. Not a lot to the room, and still cluttered with all his crap, but look SO MUCH better.

In the family room I also deep cleaned. Not a lot to it in here. Dh peeves me because he piles so much stuff on top of the entertainment center. So I went through and re-arranged some things. Left a few things and toys up there, but it looks much nicer.

I went through all the drawers in the kitchen and made a half-hearted attempt to clean out some old crap. I need a solid DAY to do a good job. But it was a start.

Found some interesting stuff...

So ended up with a large bag to donate and a large bag of trash (not to mention 2-3 bags of recycled paper. Yikes).

I feel overwhelmed, because this was the kind of work that felt good, and really needed to be done. BUT there is little to show for it. It looks slightly better, but not "worked for 3 hours straight" better. Bah.

Likewise, I am thinking about all the work I want to do in the kids rooms and everywhere else in the house. Just feeling overwhelmed.

Most of this stuff has taken a huge backseat with the kids. With small kids I struggled to get much of anything done around the house. So I know logically, when I get a little more caught up, it won't be so bad. In the meantime, just feel very overwhelmed with my "To Do" list.

Paint/Fix Kids' Rooms
Camping trip coming up
Kids' Birthday Parties
Swim Lessons

On & on & on...

June & July will be a bit crazy.

Part of me just wants to relax and enjoy the summer, but I also know I usually don't get this much time, and I have much else to do.

Anyway, even with all this running through my head, I feel quite RELAXED. A day with no kids or husband was quite relaxing. So that is the good. In the end I feel this strange mixture of relaxation along with my feeling overwhelmed. Since when could I just veg out all night and have a couple of hours peace to enjoy a movie. (Or to clean house - which was why I took advantage).

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Well, it is HOT here. It was about 82 last night when I got home, and I was quite proud I didn't need the A/C.

Of course, I went to bed and it felt rather hot, so I flipped it on. Wouldn't you know, it was 87 up there??? Hottest day of the year thus far. No idea how hot it was outside, but 87 was pretty sweltering inside.

IT took a good while to cool off the upstairs to 80. I turned it off and worried I would wake up sweating, but it cooled down enough overnight. Woke up and it was below 80. Phew.

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Tomorrow is Father's Day. I thought it was next weekend for some weekend (assumed). So an entirely unprepared.

For my dad, we paid for his camping trip. We are going with both our parents.

I don't know what dh has in mind for his dad.

I bought dh a T-Shirt. One of his stupid shows had a "T Shirt of the Month" club. Something like $250 for 13 shirts. For one, 13 shirts is like more than one would ever need (I'd be fairly certain more than the number he owns tight now. His wardrobe is very small). So though he could use some shirts and was tempting, it was a bit pricey. He just thought the idea was cool anyway.

So I decided I would buy him the first one, maybe pick out a couple more (you can pick and choose if you prefer - no discount for the bulk anyway - so why bother).

Anyway, but the shirt hasn't arrived yet. I thought I had another week! Bummer.

The kids made him the most adorable cards at preschool though.

I was thinking tomorrow taking the kids to the park or out so dh can sleep in and enjoy the peace and quiet. I had asked him if he wanted us to disappear for the day, but I think it is less of a luxury now that he gets 2 free days a week with the kids in school. He was kind of like, he'll get Monday off, so why bother. He'll be fine.

But I will probably take them out in the morning for a bit. He likes to sleep in and the kids can be rather loud.

I also think I will cook dinner.

Something I haven't done for a LONG while. I rather enjoy cooking, but since I have 1000 other things to do, and dh does it so well, it's just something I never really do any more.

I also haven't been perusing our new cooking mags so much. But one arrived yesterday so I perused it in the peace and quiet vegging state I was in:

http://www.tasteofhome.com/simple-delicious-magazine/archive...

Oh my! Where to begin.

Spicy Hummus
Beer Cheese Bread
Blueberry Poppy seed Cake
Salami Pasta Salad
Corn on the Cob butters
Berry gealtin mold (beautiful - perfect for party)
peanutbutter cup s'mores
ice cream cakes/pies galore

The kids' birthday party is coming up and we made some ice cream cakes from this mag last year. So easy and what a HIT! We got the idea after being turned off by the high price of ice cream cake. But it is always 110 degrees on the kids' birthday. & making them ourselves ended up pretty easy and cheap.

So anyway, those were a hit, and we have some new ones to try this year.

They had one where it looked like watermelon (ice cream was layered with green, and red ice cream with chocolate chips. So CUTE and easy.

Cutest berry gelatin dessert thing. (Simple but looks like you slaved over kind of thing).

So I am getting LOTS of ideas for the party.

Lots of simple appetizers, as usual I guess.

Anyway, they had a great looking spicy chicken recipe as well. So I may be brave and cook dinner tomorrow night, for dh. The chicken looks awesome. I guess I will peruse the website to find a pasta dish to go with it. Didn't really see much in this issue. But some pasta and chicken sounds great. We'll let dh have a break from the cooking tomorrow.

But yeah, we heavily relied on these magazines - subscribe to 2 - to transfer to home cooking from more of a fast food household. The first thing we did to revamp our budget when I became pregnant with our first at the same time dh was laid off. More home cooking. Saved tons of $$$$$$$$$.

So I mention them as much as we can. For now we have a huge arsenal of tried and true recipes, but love trying new things too. It is never boring at our dinner table.

Our other mag (a gift actually) is "Light & Simple" which has all the healthy meals. This other one is clearly not the "healthy" mag. Probably why I likey so much.

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Aside from gas for that long drive, I don't expect to spend much this weekend. The fam no doubt had a few free meals with the fam yesterday and today. Tomorrow we have a BBQ to go to (just walking there).

Dh is volunteering tonight and I may take the kids downtown, so a wee bit of driving around here too. But otherwise don't foresee forking over any cash. Phew.

ETA: Dh is home and his dad gave him $40 for gas.

Well, okay then! That makes $100 gas money they gave him for 2 trips.

We are spoiled.