http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/04/10/advice-from-the-top...

I came across this post and found it very relevant to my experience. I left a comment - for now the last one on the page.

I wonder how much more money I make in my career because I have a house hubby and don't have to worry about a lot of the household crap. Probably a lot.

I think I get the best of both worlds in a sense. Because I am a woman, no one blinks when I demand more flex time to spend with my kids. When my kids were younger I would often take time off during the day to do activities with them. No one blinks at that. I think a man would, in most cases, be harder pressed to enjoy that same freedom.

Of course with promotion and responsibility I find it harder to take advantage. I find I prefer to work hard 9-5 with the least interruptions so I can enjoy my nights and weekends. So I don't necessarily take as much flex time as I did when the kids were newborn and when they were small toddlers.

On the flip side I have a tremendous advantage that FEW working moms do. I stay-at-home spouse. The benefits there are both financial and non-financial. You can't put a price tag on it. But my life is tremendously easier. I know on these boards and in real life I leave an impression of "doing way too much." The thing is I don't have a lot of responsibilities at home. & I find few people really understand how freeing that is to me.

Like yesterday I Was changing the cat litter when I realized we were completely out. It was actually around 9pm and I had just enough to cover the bottom of the box. I asked dh to run to the store in the morning and get some littler. In any other scenario I would have had to wake up a 1/2 hour earlier and run to the store and fill the cat box before work. Little stuff like that just adds up big time. There is always someone home to take care of household stuff and the mundane. Which gives me a LOT more time to focus on my career.

& yeah, people say FUNNY things to me as well. I remember I met a lady when LM was newborn and I mentioned I was returning to work in a few months. She told me I would never make it - that working would be miserable. I was like, "Excuse me? I have been a working mom for 2 years - I am sure I will be fine." She didn't know I had an older son (because incidentally he was home with hubby at the time). Anyway, I told her working really wasn't a big deal because my spouse stayed home with the kids and they were very well cared for. She looked at me appalled and then told me how her husband was not fit to watch any kids and I pretty much must be insane to think my hubby could take care of this little infant. I told her again, I Wasn't worried about it, he took care of our 2-year-old quite well. But I have these conversation all the time with people. I have no idea why women delight in telling me that their husbands are helpless morons who would never lift a finger in child rearing. Gee, great for you. Sounds delightful! (Not!) LOL.

Likewise, I have to hear a lot how horrible it is that women work and can't figure out how to stay home. LOL. But yeah, the best was when LM was newborn and I would take him out to the playgroups and such. Dh and I would split up the kids so I could focus on LM's needs, and the women would just say the stupidest things not knowing I Was an experienced mom. I would think, did people say this stuff before and I just didn't know any better? I had many a women tell me they would never leave their kids with their husband. I just think that's sad... & yeah, that I would fail as a working mom. I am thinking, well someone has to pay the bills. They want me to stay home with my husband?

------------------------------------

I was revisiting our Disney budget and whittling it down...



Prices have come down at the amusement parks, a good $30 total since when I last looked. WOW! I will probably buy tickets online soon at these prices.

I also noted that a lot of the food places in Disney have AAA discounts. Will have to remember. I noted on my spreadsheet as a reminder.

In the past BM was so young that we avoided the characters and a lot of the hype of paying extra for character meals or waiting in line for pictures with them, etc. BUT LM is Disney crazy. So I Was looking at the character meal buffet - for dinner. Looks a tad pricey (Maybe $60 for the 4 of us - buffet dinner) but so is all the food there. We'll get 10% off and I think the kids will LOVE it. So something I think we map splurge on.

I also looked at my gas budget. I had already read about $4/gallon gas prices this summer when I cooked this up a few months ago, and my gas budget looked pretty reasonable. We will do a little research for where the cheaper places to buy gas are. Will make a HUGE dent in the budget. When I told dh he said something like, "yeah, but how will we know when we will need to fill up." LOL. Dh is such a dork. I was like, I don't think it is that difficult to plan fill ups. ??????? I think we can figure it out.

Anyway, the trip is 400 miles, straight shot down the interstate. I think we will be best to fill up early in our drive so we can make the last 4-5 hours without a fill up. Gas will be way more expensive in the middle of nowhere and in LA proper. We may look for a Safeway a couple of hours south to fill up at.

Unfortunately, we'll probably have to gas up in LA once or twice. I am not going to waste a lot of time down there searching out cheap gas.

Anyway, I asked dh when he thought we should leave - early or late - to avoid traffic hell. HE said early. I thought leaving after lunch might be nice since it is nap time anyway and the kids could sleep a bulk of the trip. We can get in after night rush hour (6 hour drive, maybe 7-8 hours with stops). Could roll in around 8pm.

But dh says he wants to leave early; at 10 :00. LOL. I laugh because he missed the point. I don't want to roll into LA at 5pm. Is he crazy?

Anyway, but this is where dh had a good idea. I worry that food is the most expensive part of the trip. Food prices always SHOCK me when we travel since we usually feed our entire family on $400/month wit careful grocery shopping and planning. So I just assumed $100/day at worst. I am sure we will spend less some days. But they days we are in Disneyland park? Easily $100/day.

So dh said we should pack a picnic lunch and stop and have a picninc mid way and let the kids run off some steam.

Excellent idea!

I think with this we will keep food costs down considerably on day 1.

Then we can stop for a leisurely dinner somewhere and wait out the traffic, if we hit it bad.

I also like the idea of not having to wake up at dawn and rush rush rush. 10am sounds like a much better vacation-y time to leave.

So yeah, we are saving around $100/month for vacation AND I will get $250 cash rewards in May to pay for our vacation. So overall we have a budget around $1500.

OF course, this does not consider that we will not buy groceries, commute to work, or use much home electricity for a good week. Which kind of offsets the costs. The $1500 must stretch for our camping trip too.

I completely forgot in July I am paying pretty much nil for childcare, so that childcare savings will fund the rest of our camping trip.

Dh and I could always swing a trip to Disney on a few hundred dollars. IT is amazing how much the cost explodes when you consider adding kids (& taking more time; feeding more mouths, paying for more admissions, etc., etc.). We are extremely lucky we have a free room though.

Gas prices don't help either, BUT the transportation will be the cheapest part of our trip. I can't really complain. We're taking the car that gets close to 40mpg.

Anyway, we are going on a weekday because I HATE lines. I worked at an amusement park many years and only went on off hours (perk with the job I guess). & so I have little patience for lines. They are probably good for the kids' character, but mommy is way too impatient. Thank goodness for the invention of fast trak and such.

Anyway, so I told dh I wanted to go for 2 days (have never been to Disney more than one day - always rushed trips). My dream is to take our time and spend 2 full days - Tuesday & Wednesday in May - days I know will not be so crowded. Last time I believe we went in a Saturday in September, and it really wasn't that bad until after dinner. IT was bizarre. But we had left for dinner and we came back the place was a complete mad house. I mean I never expected a Saturday day to be so pleasant.

So I expect a VERY good experience. Don't expect too much in the way of crowds...

My experience when I worked at Six Flags was middle of the week was always dead. Middle of the week when school is in session? Even better. Which is also why we are going. Last year before school schedules dictate our vacation. Blech.

------------------------------------
Beyond all that, kids' birthday is coming up in July.

I don't know, I am kind of birthday partied out. I am thinking of just making it a family affair. We usually don't do much for their birthdays, but this year I feel like doing less than much.

They are turning 3 & 5.

I wonder if just having a small family affair is preferable because BM starts public school in the fall and then that probably takes birthday parties to a whole new level.

Then again, since they have summer birthdays, I wonder how the whole birthday party thing will work. We'll never feel obligated to invite the whole class! Maybe they will always feel gyped in that regard.

His birthday also coincides with his last week at preschool. It may be nice to have a big party and invite all the preschool kids. Kind of a last hoorah.

So yeah, it will be one or the other. There is a bounce house place that I took him to a few years ago - and they opened up one by our home. I know he would LOVE a birthday party there and this is the first year I would consider something of that nature. That he can actually enjoy and may even remember.

Either that or we'll just have a small family party. He has 2 new cousins so it could be pretty fun if all the cousins came. I guess I have to keep in mind the baby cousins would not enjoy the bounce place either. Ugh. Maybe we'll have 2 parties in that case. The more I think about it the more complicated it gets.

Well, staying home and eating pizza sounds pretty good with all the babies. More of what we usually do...

The other problem with their birthday is it is hotter than hades, so no outdoor activities. No matter what day the party falls on it will be guaranteed to be 110 degrees. I have that knack of picking the hottest day of the year, but hard to avoid mid-July. I remember giving birth on the hottest days of the year too. Which makes the whole birthday thing kind of a bummer. I would LOVE to just set up kiddie pools and let the kids splash int he backyard, but yeah, we'd all DIE probably. LOL. So limits birthday party options...

I guess I probably won't give it much more though until after our Disney trip though. One thing at a time. I just saw the thread in the forums and started thinking about it.

I chalk this a benefit of big house. We always just have the parties here, and plenty of room. But the kids are getting older and getting to the age where they probably could use something a little more exciting, once in a while.

They are still at the age where they will share their formal party.

BM will probably get his own party next year. As he'll probably have more school friends that aren't shared with LM. For now they have all the same friends, and not even family would drive up here twice - so shared it is. Logistically that is the only way it works. Until they have their own friends... But for now, makes it easy on me. One party every year.

Their birthdays are like 5 days apart...