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May 19th, 2007 at 08:03 pm

Man, am I burned out. Work is crazy, feeling behind. I think the worst is everyone else thinks I should be free and have tons of time, but I don't. My boss reminded me he would pay me another bonus if I worked more overtime. LOL. Is that a hint? Well, I always look at the bright side. Though I wanted to cut back my hours, I guess doing the opposite and working more isn't the worst, if it means more pay. I really could squeeze out another $400/month or so if I just went to work an hour early every day. THat is what I really should do.

The thing is that is not a terrible schedule overall, but the baby has just been so difficult and not sleeping well at all. IT comes and goes, but this was not a good week. If I could actually get a decent night sleep on most nights I could probably accomplish twice as much as I have been. Instead I am in a fog and just too behind and overwhelmed. I have been pretty miserable and not very posty. I think mostly I Am spread too thin. I don't like feeling like I am doing a half-assed job everywhere. Ever since I had my second child I just don't handle stress very well - still hormonal stuff I guess. So I am frustrated I don't feel like myself either. I find myself vegging a little too much and feeling a little too sorry for myself which just pisses me off more, because I am becoming what I hate. I just need to get off my butt and do more, but I just haven't been very productive, because I am a little depressed, and just doesn't help the cycle.

I also skipped aerobics class all week -- my word. I told dh I was so excited that I only had to pay when I show up, but he pointed out yesterday maybe that was bad - LOL. It really is - the reason I signed up is I figured if I had to pay I would go. I really wanted to tone up a bit and shed some pounds before the cruise. Instead I think I am gaining weight. But again, obviously sitting around and skipping aerobics is not helping me.

I think mostly I am stressed about work. I was very happy to have an easy job and little responsibility. I am resigned to the fact that more responsibility is probably best for my career, and my income. & my boss needs help, too bad I am the only reliable one. I think I am mostly frustrated though because I wanted to be cutting back my hours and not doing so much at work. But my boss needs me, what can I do. HE is trying. He is hiring a CPA in North Dakota and even looking into outsourcing lower level work to India. The shortage of qualified help is insane. The good side of ever increasing pay and incredible flexibility has reached the tipping point. The flexibility only works when other employees shoulder the burden. I got paid $35/hour to play receptionist on Monday because I was the lowest level employee available when 3 people called in sick. LOL. My boss and his wife were appalled when they got back from lunch - where was everyone. Everyone was home sick and the receptionist had to run client stuff to the post office. But that's how it's been. We have 10 employees today. I think we had 15 when I started 5 years ago. Monday there were only 2 of us in the office at 2:00, that was when I got reception duty.

The workload may be down a bit, and efficiency may be up a bit. But then again we have more less qualified employees today as well. Oh well, I don't know if I can ever slide along at easy 40-hour weeks again. Just too much to do, not enough people to help. Still way better than any other CPA firm I have ever seen (most tend to push 60-hour weeks easy). But all the same I have gotten used to a pretty easy work schedule the last few years, as has the family got used to it. THey really resist me working more, which of course stresses me out too.

So that's everything here.

Pretty much blah.

I have been trying to get together with our realtor for about 6 months since he has kids our age. A simple playdate at the park would do. ANyway, they invited us to a BBQ today. IT should be fun. BUT I am tempted to cancel because I feel so behind. But I resist the urge. IT is ridiculous we met him about a year ago - we were looking at houses last year. & only now we get the kids together. Actually, it was kind of funny, I met his wife separately and didn't put 2 and 2 together right away - and yeah we have all been saying the kids need to meet one of these days. We'll see if they hit it off. We need to resume some socialness. I think we usually find we get so exhausted with life we rather hang around home. Then again dh and I are big homebodies. It is BM who is Mr. Social Pants and we try to be more social for him. But it is good for us too. We need to get out more, no doubt. SO hopefully today will be fun!

Oh yeah, and neighbors sold their house. I am dying to see what they got for it. They said they took a knocking, but knowing they paid closer to $300k and asked for $625k (5 years later), I am not too worried about them. Will be curious though as it was only up about a month, if that. I Tell you the 3-bedrooms here SIT - many on the market for more than a year. Neighbor's house is 3000sf, sold without a prob... Who knew... The old adage that small houses always sell is just so not true around here. I am relieved we have a more high-end house because what it comes down to is only move-up buyers are buying right now. But we'll see...

Oh yeah, but I forgot to say - I am taking next Friday off. Good or bad - I don't know - depends if I feel more caught up. Have to get my filling back home. So will probably spend the morning with family and then drive down alone. I really look forward to it (well except for the whole dentist part - drilling, expenses and all) - will probably spend the night with my parents since the drive was so pleasant in the morning last time. I really look forward to a good 24 hours away from it all - ALONE! & a 3-day weekend after that as well. I Would like to just be home, 3 days, no work. Catch up around the house - just behind on everything.

& our cruise can not come fast enough - I am just ready for a vacation!!!!!!! Dh and I are salivating at being away from the kids for about 5 days - twice as long as we ever have. We'll miss them terribly. HEck, we'll probably be bored out of our minds - LOL. But look forward to it all the same... The cruise ship seems to have PLENTY to keep us occupied - that is for sure. But you know, 24 hours a day with no responsibilities, I am not sure we will really know what the heck to do with ourselves. Overall though I expect the break/refresher will be really nice and we will be happy to get back home too. I think I will be content to eat to my heart's content and spend some time in the gym. Luckily my 2 favorite pasttimes are pretty complementary - I usually work out enough to allow extra eating - just not so much lately with kids and family to tend to. But I hope to be active and enjoy, and spend some time lounging on the beach too - nothing I love more than a nap on the beach... Just 4 more weeks......

Which reminds me I want to spring clean and ebay and craigslist and all that, but nothing pays better than my job - Wink - so I think I will survive (& said overtime). I just look forward to cleaning out the house a bit is all...

1 Responses to “Blah”

  1. pjmama Says:
    1179603710

    Sounds like you have a lot on your mind! I say enjoy that cruise when it comes! It seems to me you need a little break. Hope all improves Smile

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