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Horrible Week

July 22nd, 2018 at 09:11 am

We were blindsided last week when we learned that MH has a second brain tumor. My first impression is that the odds of this happening are extremely low. & I'd say he has a pretty rare health diagnosis with just the one. Lucky him! We are anxious every year as we monitor tumor growth on tumor #1. I can't say it ever occurred to us that they would find something new.

For the short run, it was good news as could be I guess. Tumor #1 didn't grow. We will consider that a win.

Tumor #2 seems to be of little concern. But it's one more thing to worry about. I don't remember what kind of Doctor MH has at the moment. He was the cyber knife Doctor. I just call them brain doctors. But cyber knife/brain Doctor was going to consult with some neurosurgeons. We are waiting to hear back. He's been so dismissive that we will probably get another opinion. We have a million questions. (Silver lining: He isn't too concerned?)

If that's not enough bad news for one week...

My co-worker told me she gave her notice around 5pm on Friday. I am beside myself with this news. Frown

She was the one who was optimistic about the whole thing and talked me off the ledge. In the end, I think it just comes down to commute. From what she told me about the job, I am surprised she took it.

Awesome Admin left right after tax season. She was very conflicted about quitting, but she lowered her commute by about 1/2 hour (if not more) and her husband was going back to school and she needed to get a job with her degree. It took her 5 seconds to find a job. I am definitely not concerned about finding *a* job.

This co-worker (leaving now) is my "twin". I think we are just very similar in personality, experience, work style, etc. Everyone always confuses us though we look nothing like each other. I've been blessed to work with her for 15-ish years.

That said, she was part-time and never quite put in the effort/hours I did. She went full-time for 5 years to get her kid through college but never really got into the full-time mentality. For this reason, I am rather shocked she took a FT position at a very high hours firm. ??? We only talked about it for a few minutes, so maybe we will talk about it more next week. It's right by her home and her current commute sucks, so that honestly might be most of it. (Beyond that, she wasn't even looking for a job. They matched her current salary). It could be she just took it as an opportunity to shorten her commute and to get the heck out of here. Maybe she is hoping to turn it into a part-time position eventually.

It's back to the drawing board for me. She left me in a HORRIBLE position. I don't blame her and it's not her fault. I really never thought she would leave before me (or without giving me more of a heads up). UGH!

Silver lining? It sounds like this other firm is interested in hiring me and willing to pay very well. For now, it's a longer commute and more hours so I am not interested at all. But, I welcome that she is willing to test the waters. If she is really happy there, I would consider it. I don't think I would seriously consider this other job until after tax season. When I told MH about this other job he said they sounded a little desperate. Um, yeah, they are a CPA firm. Of course they are desperate. They promised her the moon. Will see what they actually give her.

Before all this she had talked me off the ledge and we had kind of agreed to stick it out one more tax season. I would say that my "old employer" has bent over backwards to take care of his employees, and it would help him a LOT if we stuck it out one more tax season. My loyalty does not go beyond that. (& I don't know if it even goes that far. But I am trying).

I think the problem is that this is more my ideal job so it's a higher bar for me. The only feedback I've gotten is that my salary is very high and most likely won't be matched (looking at job postings and talking to recruiters). & I mean when it comes to matching my current work hours and job duties. Yeah, I am not surprised my co-worker got a salary match for a management position with crazy hours. Not apples to apples.

Where does this leave me? I don't know. I think a lot of clients will leave, and so I don't really know how to gauge the futility of staying for one more tax season. Clients will leave regardless. Clients are leaving regardless. (If they are leaving, then work hours will be reasonable). Honestly, maybe she saved our jobs. I just don't know.

I don't have a commute (nothing I'd call a commute), so all I am looking at is longer commute, more traffic, lower pay, etc.

The pressure on me is tremendous. MH told me "that place will fall apart if you leave." It's true. I think it would have fallen apart anyway (if just I left). But with both of us gone...

I think I am going to give it a minute. We are going on vacation in a couple of weeks, so I won't do anything until I get back. But it's time to seriously job hunt and see what else is out there.

It will be interesting to see how "new employer" responds to all this. They are completely MIA and I know nothing more than I last posted on the subject. While searching jobs (about a month ago) I did notice they are hiring a management position (to replace "old employer"). That is going to be make or break for my job. My expectations are low. (My expectations are low if they will react at all to the latest news and also as to the quality of any new hire).

Will see...

For now, I think I am willing to take a significant pay cut just to jump off the sinking ship. Until Friday, I felt like I should just keep the good pay/PTO/flexibility (for 9 more months, or as long as possible). Now I don't know if this job is worth any of that. So if I get offered a job that looks good but pays 20% less tomorrow, I think I'd probably take it. I have a job in mind that is close to home. I think I will finally pull the trigger on applying.

Edited to add: It's not cancer (MH's tumors). Thank Goodness! (Hence, the very unexpected new tumor. But I guess I could have clarified). & trust me, brain tumors SUCK and are deadly (if you don't treat them). But, cancer is just another can of worms.

& please no unsolicited medical advice. I don't even know where to begin with that, so... please don't.

11 Responses to “Horrible Week”

  1. Wink Says:

    I am so sorry about your DH. I would certainly be exploring a second opinion. Your work situation sounds so incredibly stressful. Hopefully something else (better) will surface when you start seriously job hunting. And thank goodness for vacation!

  2. rob62521 Says:

    So sorry about the news for MH. Hopefully it will not be a concern. We can pray that is so.

    Your job situation sounds pretty stressful. Maybe the new job you are thinking about will be a blessing.

  3. latestart Says:

    Sorry about your DH's health issue. Prayers for a good outcome.

  4. CB in the City Says:

    OMG, my heart dropped when you said second tumor. I hope it will be of little concern, as the doctor seems to think.

  5. My English Castle Says:

    oh my word, MM. Thinking about you and hoping you can find the best solutions for your DH and your job.

  6. miclason Says:

    ((hugs))

  7. Tabs Says:

    Wow, I am very sorry to hear about this. I hope things will work out for you and your family.

  8. LuckyRobin Says:

    I think it is always good to get a second opinion. Sorry your life is so topsy-turvy right now.

  9. MonkeyMama Says:

    Reminder #2: Please no unsolicited medical advice.


  10. MonkeyMama Says:

    Thank you everyone.

    The news is mixed. They think it's always been there (since his first MRI scan in 2009) and that it hasn't grown at all. Phew! But it is apparently in a horrible location and that part is kind of horrifying.

    For now, we just keep an eye on it. We are relieved that there are no talks of surgery or anything like that. "Waiting and watching" is probably as good as it gets with these things, as we already know all too well.

  11. Thrifty Ray Says:

    Oh friend, I am so sorry for all that youre going through and that MH has yet another health scare. Youre def in my thoughts. XO

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