Happy Mother's Day!
Today is divine because we have absolutely no plans. (It's been a while!)
Though I think a do-nothing day is rather divine, we mostly celebrated yesterday (took my parents out to dinner), and plan to go on a beach hike next Saturday. Next weekend just worked better for the hike.
Going out to dinner was certainly nicer the night before the big day!
Dh and I had an interesting discussion yesterday which I think clarifies our experience.
I don't remember how the topic came up, but I mentioned that several of the kids' friends had 7:00 bed times. (For reference, we are lucky if our kids sleep 9pm - 6am! & it's better now that they have school - they slept even less at night when they were little).
Anyway, I was telling dh that was probably why one of BM's friends had quit track (they practice until 8:00, and the mom had told me many times it was a bit late for them). I rattled off names of kids who sleep at 7:00 - because was skeptical that kids really go to bed that early.
Then he says - "Wait - all those parents work. Yikes! They really don't get to spend a lot of time with their kids during the week. Dinner and then bedtime?"
Seems like a simple observation, and probably something I have thought of before in past instances. But, it is an interesting point. I get such weird reactions often, to being a working mom. I try to be positive and think that people are pushing back to their own negative working experiences. Otherwise, it is really easy to take offense to the endless stupid comments.
But dh is right. It's more than just negative working experiences. Here I am thinking that people are just insane and condescending, but maybe their kids go to bed at 7pm too, and they just can't wrap their brain around working and spending quality time with their kids.
I think it's important to remember that in the future.
It relates to my whole experience as a working mom. I have no idea what everyone else is freaking out about, most of the time.
On the flip side, I think this story illustrates the point that you often have to be flexible and creative as a parent. Because if your kids go to bed at 7pm or 9pm, each sounds like a VERY different experience. If you think I Could simply will my kids to stay up late or go to bed early - HA! If they were "7pm bedtime" types, I'd probably push for an earlier work schedule, myself. It's always been a fine balance of molding them to our schedule while being cognizant of what kind of schedule they thrive on. I don't think either of us likes the fact that they are usually wide awake before 6am, but they sleep well and are well adjusted. & I need that 9pm-10pm hour to unwind, myself. (Though often I go to bed before the kids do!) Which is how we settled on 9pm. Any earlier and they wake up to dang early! So, is what works for us, for now.
When BM was a baby, he just slept most the time that I was at work. I never *got* what all the other moms found so unfortunate about my schedule. I never felt like I missed anything. No doubt he slept while I Was at work because he preferred nursing to the bottle. So it just kind of evolved. The whole experience to me was always, "So what's the big deal???"
Thoughts on Motherhood
Happy Mother's Day!