Aaaaaahhhhhh...

I am not quite sure why the last couple of months have been so crazy. Like the starts aligned. In a bad way.

But this week, I find myself with nothing but free time. How the heck did that happen? I had a very relaxing weekend!

Not much planned for the next 2 weekends, though BM does have a soccer tournament.

I find myself feeling so relaxed and content when I went to bed last night. All I could think was, "What next?" Life - there is always something.

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LM is doing better with school than I ever could imagine. He is in such a GOOD mood. I am furrowing my brow because Mr. Extrovert wild child had a rough adjustment with school. Just a few weeks of being overly tired. Then he adjusted, and that was that.

LM is the complete polar opposite. HE is so sensitive and shy - and obviously he thinks school is the best thing ever. (I've never seen him happier!) I kept telling dh we would have to put him to bed earlier! But no - he is just fine. ???????

Again, what next?

Going from home full-time to school full-time should never be this easy. But, I will enjoy his chipper mood and excitement about school.

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This week will probably go by fast. I have a seminar in San Francisco tomorrow. Will stay with my parents tonight, and probably visit with friends or family for dinner before driving home tomorrow night. I am just winging it.

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The kids have dental and doctor visits this month, and the cat has a follow up appointment (more tests to make sure her infection has cleared). HEck, dh is due for another MRI. We are putting it off a month - until we get back from Hawaii. Didn't want any bad news to put a damper on our trip. Plus, regardless, we have to talk about this whole radiation thing. His doctor thinks he should get it anyway. We just wanted to put it aside for 6 months and regroup. Boy did that 6 months go fast!

Anyway, not something he will talk about in Hawaii!

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I am doing just dandy on my goals. Haven't updated much on them because I am not thrilled with the bigger picture.

I will hit $11k in savings in September, which means I can easily put $4k away in my IRA, as was my goal. (I already put away $1k, so leaves $1k per month for the rest of the year - to meet my goal).

That said, I haven't really increased my savings balance.

About $5k in medical bills, $1k vet bills, $2k to paint house, $1k for dh's TV, $1k for Denver, plus some smaller Hawaii expenses and a mattress for LM.

Yeah, that all adds up to about the $11k I saved. Gee, no wonder I am not getting anywhere.

Boy, this year has been unusual. We just haven't had anything in the realm of this spending, like ever. So, I just have to keep telling myself that. We may have easily had 5 years prior where we didn't have any big purchases. & in the grand scheme of things, it's not horrible. It's just really setting me back on my goals. I just want to get cash to a comfortable spot (for us) so we can move forward with everything else. I feel the cash is an extra pressing goal with the economy. We've been feeling it at work this year, for sure (cut benefits, a layoff, etc.).

I am trying to be patient. Dh tells me that he will probably look for work in one year. I am trying to tell myself that most of my perceived money shortfalls are moot if he is working in the year anyway. But, at the same time, he has spent about 2 of the last 8 years looking for work. So, being ready to work doesn't really mean a lot. (Couldn't find a minimum wage job when the economy was good??? Was very disconcerting. Before getting a degree, finding a crap job was never a problem). We have always realized that he may have to return to University to get his foot in the door. So, in one year's time, will we be flush with income? Or deep in University bills? Or just spinning our wheels some more.

I can't talk about most of this stuff with anyone. To my friends? "You have no non-mortgage debts, and your spouse hasn't worked in almost a decade? What are you worried about????" Plus, we are rare with home equity. Their answer would just be to borrow from the home, in emergency. (That's not "real" debt!)

Of course, if I wasn't worried, I could quite easily fall into financial disarray. Trying to stay where I am at. It's not easy as it looks, I suppose. I don't think most people realize that life isn't all roses and peaches just because you make certain financial goals. It's always work. IT may be easier, but it will always be work to strive for financial comfort. Plus, since having kids, we have mostly slid backwards. Have always considered this rather temporary. I am used to saving more, and more cash in the bank! It's hard to slide backwards once you are used to a certain level of comfort.