The Secret of Success is really simple at face value, but sometimes it is really hard to implement. I am one of those people who truly believe you can be successful of your own true will. Too often people like to write off success to luck, and I take it very personally. I know too many people who are successful because they worked extremely hard. There have been studies done on what makes people "lucky" and it is actually in people's habits that tend to make people lucky in general. I definitely can say I have noticed these same traits in the successful people around me. So what do you need to be successful?

1. Worry about Yourself, Not Everyone Else

I notice over and over people who are constantly comparing themselves to others and worried about what everyone else has, will never be happy. They will also not be successful because they will be too busy worrying about other people and/or putting their time and resources to impressing their "friends." Imagine if you took all that energy and channeled it into yourself; into what you want and what you want to be. IT makes all the difference. Sure, I compare myself to others at time, as I am always looking for a measure of my progress, and where I am at, etc. But it is not the be-all, end-all for me. I could really care less if my next door neighbor has a fancier car or if my friend is going on a fancier vacation. The reason I Could care less is because I live my life the way I want to lead it, in a way that makes me happy. It means I have no need to worry about everyone else and what they think. I realized very young everyone else wasn't going to make me happy. Only I can do that for myself. On the flip side, I will compare myself to successful people and look at my habits and see what they are doing differently, and what I need to do to achieve that success. Again, it's not the be-all, end-all. That kind of comparison can help you. But for the most part it is better not to worry about everyone else. As soon as you wish you were someone else, you aren't going to be successful. Striving to be as successful as someone else, now that I Can go for. But you still want to be "you." You don't want to be that person. I guess the true key is being happy with yourself. Everything else kind of follows from that.

2. Be Positive

Always try to be optimistic. For the pessimist, when things don't go their way, it's the end of the world. Or at the least it is a very difficult event. For the optimist, it means either it wasn't meant to be, or a better opportunity will present itself later. Case in point, you get fired or don't get the job you applied for. The pessimist gets discouraged much more easily and equates the job difficulties with their own abilities. An optimist will assume that it just wasn't meant to be, that something better is out there. An optimist can usually turn anyway situation into their advantage. Another key to being an optimist is always to imagine how things could be worse. When you imagine things as how they can be worse it is easier to see how a bad situation isn't so dire.

3. Always look for Opportunities

Most people miss opportunities because they are too busy looking for something else. Successful people see what is there rather than just what they're looking for. For example, in business, my husband is interested in video work and becoming a film maker. He could be hellbent on becoming a film maker and get that tunnel vision as he tried to get into the industry, which is a hard way to get in. But he also has marketing experience, and started noticing that a lot of the local film makers need a lot of marketing help. HE is starting to find a little niche for himself that he hadn't even thought of before. But I think this is a prime example. Unsuccessful people tend to get too caught up in exactly what they want and disappointment when they don't get it. Successful people tend to keep their options open and remain flexible. Sometimes success comes where they didn't expect it, but being open to slightly different routes makes all the difference. Successful people are also usually more willing to try different things, which means more opportunities as well.

Another way to look at it is that sometimes it is more about the journey than the destination.


4. NEVER say "I can't."

The second you say "I can't" to something, then you might as well forget about it. The next time you come up against an obstacle and start to say "I can't," change your thinking. Start to think "I can." I See too often people think they can't do something (I am talking simple things here) and just get stuck in a rut. It really is true for the most part that anything is possible if you think it is possible. The successful people that I know rarely say, "I can't" but the friends that I have that are struggling with the basics of life say "I can't" way too much. They are unwilling to try new things, to learn, to push themselves, or to even just work a little harder.

5. Don't Complain about Things you can Change

I am not much of a complainer and if I see something that can easily be fixed, I find it far more useful to fix it than to whine incessantly about it. I have a really silly story to share though that brings this point home though. I started a new job a few years back and the microwave in the kitchen was really slow and ancient. I remember it took like 10 minutes to heat up my soup. The funny thing is I remember thinking man, it was really bad, but it wasn't until a few lunches of hearing everyone complain incessantly about the microwave that I had finally had enough. I figured a new microwave was $50 or something and I would be willing to shell it out personally for a quicker lunch. But I just went up to my boss and asked him if we could get a new microwave. The next day we had a new microwave. I had even asked a co-worker if this would be taboo because I figured the only reason no one else had mentioned it was because it was like a taboo thing and the boss was known to be attached to the microwave or something. Anyway, I thought gosh, maybe I am just a dumb newbie here, but this is ridiculous. I don't think I ever told anyone else I had been key in the new microwave, but I was certainly glad when the whining stopped. Over the years a few other incidents have happened though where a simple conversation with the boss would clear things up. One thing I see too often lately is fear and stress over unreplied e-mails, when again a simple face-to-face conversation would clear it up. E-mails get accidentally deleted or overlooked. IF you are that worried about it, pick up the phone or go chat with the person to make sure they got your e-mail. It really is that simple!

Once you can make the little changes it is easier to see how you can make bigger changes. & I guess what I notice is successful people are more likely to find a solution and move on, and also be willing to accept that which they can not change. I think most people though have problems with this and create more obstacles in their life than their needs to be, wasting too much time on what can not be chaged, and worrying too much about stuff that doesn't matter (like slow microwaves).

6. Talk to Other People

#3 was about looking for opportunities. The truth is that the more people you know and talk to, the more opportunities will present themselves. If you have ever gone to a networking seminar you have seen this point hit home. Next time you are on an airplane strike up a conversation with your fellow passengers. Time and time again business contacts are made in places you don't expect. Keep in touch with your old college buddies and your ex-co-workers. The more branches of contacts you can keep, the more opportunities you will find in life. IT is amazing the opportunities you miss by not talking to people. One example for me is a neighbor who I had met on a few occasions, who I never told that I was a CPA. My work just never came up in conversation. A few months later, she actually called me at my office as she had been referred to me by a mutual friend. It wasn't until we started talking until we both realized who the other was. How silly that a third party had to inform her that I was a CPA.

I have also seen it recommended to break routines in order to meet more people. Shop at different stores, take different routes. The more people you come across, the more opportunities you will have.

7. Keep True to Your Word

I remember when I started my first job out of college my dad said something to me like 90% of success on the job is just showing up. I didn't think much about it at the time, but he brought it up again recently, asking me if wasn't he right. I thought back to how I was probably most appreciated by all my employers because I showed up on time every day. That's it. To me this has always been a simple concept. If I agreed to do something, I will do it. If I Can't keep my end of the bargain, I won't do it. To me what is obvious, I notice with time is really rare in people. It is rare that people will finish a task that they commit to, that they will show up for work on time every day, that they will meet all their deadlines, etc. If you can just commit to keeping your word, you will notice a huge difference in your life.

It is amazing to me how sometimes the simple little things can make all the difference. Of course as a whole, if you are not used to leading a successful lifestyle, it can be hard to implement. But you can take it one baby step at a time. Start by honoring all of your commitments (even if it means taking less commitments) and thinking more positively. You will notice changes in your life. From there start networking and keeping your eyes peeled for opportunities. Think hard before you say no to any opportunity that presents itself. Maybe most importantly, remember to stop saying, "I can't" in situations where you can and should. I guess that goes along with the positive thinking.

I think I can sum all of this up by simply saying don't get too wrapped up where you are (and where your peers are), but instead start focusing on where you want to go and how you are going to get there. Keeping all of these points in mind will get you there.