1. Going to Private College will make you more successful than Public College

Some quotes from an interesting series Laura Rowley did on the subject:

"Research shows that 20 years into their careers, highly motivated students who don't attend the most selective schools earn roughly the same salaries as those who do."

"Studies show the ranks of CEOs, at least, are not dominated by Ivy League grads. Spencer Stuart, the executive search firm, found 11 percent of CEOs at Fortune 500 firms had Ivy League degrees -- down from 16 percent in 1998. A survey by the Wharton School found that in 2001, 10 percent of CEOs received undergraduate degrees at one of the eight Ivies; 48 percent earned them from public colleges and universities."

http://finance.yahoo.com/expert/article/moneyhappy/4665

Granted, there are some situations, maybe many, where a private university will give you a leg up. But is it always worth it at any cost? I would not agree in the least.

By the way, most of the people I know from high school blew too much money on fancy private colleges right away, then returned to public education (then out of money) for their real degrees and/or Master degrees. This always seemed REALLY backwards to me. So I have to add, if you must go to private college, make sure you have picked the degree/career you are going to stick with. That's pretty hard to do at 17/18.

2. Colleges that cost More are Better

Unfortunately I can't find any links to the articles I have seen on this subject. But there was a really interesting article I read a few months back how many colleges would raise their tuition (& accordingly their financial aid packages) to increase interest in the college when enrollment was down. It really worked. If tuition was perceived to be too low, enrollment would drop. Often raised tuition was all it took to spur more interest.

We are smarter than this. Much as many of us here are not too big on brand names in general, why settle for a brand name college that just costs 10 times as much as the others? Substance should be far more important.

3. You have to go into debt to get through College

As with anything, there are shades of gray here. I know plenty of people who needed to take on a little debt to get through college. Sure. The problem here is too many people look at it as an all or nothing proposition. If you can't afford college, and have to throw it all on a card anyway, why pay attention to the budget? I remember getting so sick of people in college who had to pay their own way through who racked up a lot of debt and whined about it while living lifestyles 10 times as grand as those of us quietly working our way through college, working many jobs, and budgeting and cutting expenses. I wasn't really convinced that large car payments and party lifestyles were necessary to get through college.

But mostly my point is, if you think something is impossible it will be. IF you think it is impossible to get through with no or little debt, well it will be. Consider changing your thinking.

At least make an effort to make the debt hurt as little as possible!

4. You can't work while you are in college

Okay okay, so there are some degrees and some people who can not work while going to college. I get it. Go take out some reasonable loans. That doesn't bother me. But too often I see very able-bodied/smart people who would never consider working in college. IF nothing else, is it really that impossible to work a couple of jobs in the summer and earn some money when school is out? I pretty much worked full-time all through college and had a 4.0 GPA. IT took me 5 years instead of 4. Hardly worse for the wear. What do you think looks better on a resume? Someone who didn't work a day during college, someone who worked summers only when school was out, or someone who balanced work and school at the same time. #3 will win by a mile but I don't think #2 will do half bad either. #1 - I don't know. The only exception being lots of extra-curriculars, which if necessary, maybe time to hit the student loans. There are exceptions to the rule, of course, but for the most part I see too many "I can't"s where there really shouldn't be.

5. You are a Horrible Parent if you don't provide a College Education for your Kids (particularly expensive ones at any cost)

I think #4 kind of leads into this one. That parents forget their children are able-bodied adults who can help pay for their own college. Really, it won't kill them!

Anyway, I just had to share my experience, and I guess why I feel so strongly that most college talk is a lot of hype. The downside is people get SO emotional about this issue their brain really goes out the window. You don't know how many times I have been called names and considered a moron because I don't intend to save up 1/2 mil to put both my kids completely through medical school, like it is their god-given right. But most of the time I have to admit this kind of response comes from people who resent the fact their parents weren't there for them for college. I understand that gets emotional. But look, there is a huge difference between not being prepared, not supporting your kids, etc., versus just expecting the kids to pull their weight a bit, and not putting college in front of all other financial goals, illogically.

As for my family, my father came from an extremely poor family and had no help with college. He went to state and worked through college, coming out with no debt. Having done so he was able to, through his career, move from the lowest social class to pretty much upper-middle-class. Obviously my father values a college education dearly as it made a HUGE difference in his life.

However, my parents didn't save a dime specifically for my college. I am not saying they didn't save a dime. They had plenty of money to finance my education if they so choose. But they didn't earmark a huge chunk for college or expect me to get a free ride. They wanted me to work as hard as they did for their education because they knew I would appreciate it that much more. Plus the difference here is night and day. I had a middle class family to fall back on which my father never had. They helped me a bit. But they sure as hell refused to pay a dime for private college as mostly they just saw it as a waste of money. If I Wanted something like that, that bad, I Could figure it out. I needed to contribute heavily to my education at first, and then completely after the first year (As well as move out and support myself as an adult. Why not, they had done it from day 1).

Fast Forwarding to today, I have too many friends who can't pay their bills, but have thousands and even hundreds of thousands saved for their kids' college. That is just crazy! Because my parents managed their money much better I don't expect to be supporting them in old age. I truly appreciate that they did not go broke over my college. I have too many friends who had expensive colleges paid for who are now cleaning up the financial mess their parents made.

My point being overall, if you want to save for your kids' college, so be it. It will be a great gift. Just keep in mind that it will not be a great gift to your children if you go into financial ruin over it. Also, keep in mind having parents who made me work a little harder for my college degree was the best gift they ever made me. IT made me a very strong, self-sufficient person. Plus I sure as hell learned to live on a shoestring which is invaluable.

I haven't saved a dime for my kids' college yet, and likely will never earmark a dollar specifically for college for the kids. BUT I can guarantee that they will have opportunities tenfold the opportunities that either I or my parents had. Before you throw stones just know my oldest son already has more in a college account started by grandma than my entire education cost. I think it is pretty overkill. But since they have more wealth to share now, and we are so much further ahead of the game than they were at this point in the game, I am not too worried about it. Even without grandma's money I would feel the same. But it brings a point that someone not saving money for their kids' college and not intending to finance it all, does not a bad parent make. Too often this whole thing is seen as so black and white. There are many shades of gray.

& obviously, I get a little emotional on the subject too.

So there you have it. I think all these myths can really be summed up in one main rule - don't get too emotional about college decisions. That's when you pay far more than you should for your child's education. Look at things a little more critically, do your best, know your child can survive as an adult, be confident that you raised them well, etc., etc.

If you really wanna pay for the best schools and not have them work a day, go for it. Just please don't sacrifice your own life for something that may not be appreciated, or even used. I have too many high school friends who turned their fancy paid-for educations into minimum wage retails jobs. Too many parents are blindly financing educations for just that - minimum wage dead-end jobs. IT seems to be an epidemic in the middle class society I grew up in where parents valued fancy educations beyond everything else, including the outcome of said education. Hopefully my experiences can help other parents avoid the same mistakes.