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Roller Coaster Week

December 3rd, 2009 at 07:13 am

I only have one word for this week - CRAZY!

I am actually at work 3 days, but it is filled with meetings and such. I am starting to feel "behind." Ugh. Maybe next week will be normal, though I may take a day off to meet with the Bay Area surgeon, with dh.

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My mom's health has been going downhill a bit.

I am not sure how much of this I can take. Both my folks, and dh.

My mom called me yesterday, sounding somber. I asked, "Who is it now?" I figure someone was in the hospital or something. Why not? Why not make it one more person to worry about?

In the end, she had her own rough week, and I wouldn't be surprised if she was holding back since she knows what I time I am having.

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I mentioned earlier, this whole trial has been life-affirming on some level.

For all the negative, I am just glad dh can look back so positively on his life. & like I said, he is expected to live, but still, it gets you thinking. Many deep discussions around here of late.

I feel moreso than ever, that we made the best financial choices we could, to move here. I have considered opening a HELOC, if it comes to borrowing money for surgery outside of our insured options. The thing is, we have that option. Back home, we would both be working, and could perhaps have over double the mortgage. (Or just be paying 2-3 times as much to rent). We likely would have much younger children, if any. Putting more important things on hold, for insane cost of living. Are we more glad than ever, that we thought outside the box in that regard.

On the flip side, it has been important to be close to family. We have needed each other a LOT this year. Since we had talked so much about moving out of state, I am glad in the end, we stayed. & yet, moving to our low-cost haven gives us so much more flexibility and financial options, as we face crisis.

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My birthday came and went, and I was spoiled rotten.

I also got to see dh's MRI - and it was hard to see. Just, wow! His tumor is quite large.

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I have greatly welcomed the chance to return to work and to have other distractions. Phew!!!!! Maybe the timing of all this is a blessing in some regard. Work will keep me busy!

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**In financial news, I got our new bank account, in Trust, all set up and funded. Getting 2% on our cash, now.

**I am not sure what our HELOC options are, if so needed. Thing is, it goes against every fiber of our being. But I suppose I could consider up to $250k in loans against our home, to save dh's brain. (Thing is, we never take ANY debt lightly). Leaves us about $40k to borrow ($250 was just the max we said we would ever borrow for a home - we ended up closer to $230k when we bought this house). I am not sure we have the equity to borrow that much though. Lord knows - the market is so wacky here. The thing about this year is just nothing has sold. Nothing has particularly sold less than $300k. But, who knows.

**Last I looked, my perspective was that the school daycare was EXPENSIVE.

I guess perspective changes? It is $6/hour, $24 max a day (holidays and such), AND full-time is about $330 per month. I won't stress about it - easy/convenient/affordable/good option.

These are the kinds of things I am looking at. I guess, trying to prepare for the worst. I hope none of this stuff is really needed, of course.

We've been told that dh could "recover" in 2 weeks. Or he may have balance issues and be unable to drive, for many months. So many unknowns at this point. I am just trying to think ahead and be prepared as possible.

11 Responses to “Roller Coaster Week”

  1. momcents Says:


    (hugs) is all I can say. I think you are amazingly equipped to deal with things!

  2. Maismom Says:

    I've been super busy and haven't had time to read blogs in this site for a while, and just read about your DH's condision. I'm sorry about all the things happening to you and good for you to be so strong. I'm sure things will turn out just fine for you guys. Take care.

  3. creditcardfree Says:

    ((Hugs))

  4. John DeFlumeri Jr Says:

    Yours is the health care nightmare that this country is famous for.

  5. financeaholic Says:

    i just got caught up on all of your posts and all i can say is WOW. your family is in my thoughts!

  6. Analise Says:

    So sorry to hear about your mom... I am sure she was trying to spare you more worry.

    Sending you my best wishes for it to soon get better for your dh and your family.

  7. monkeymama Says:

    Though I have certainly griped enough about Healthcare being out financial achilles heel over the years, I would hardly call this a healthcare nightmare. The most we have been quoted is about $80k (negotiable) for one of the best brain surgeons in the world. & it is likely we will find a way to have our insurer pay for most of it anyway.

    I think this whole experience will leave me feeling like I am getting my money's worth, and feeling that it was smart to stick with private insurance, all along. My employer's insurance cost MORE, has benefit limits, and some ugly annual deductible (like $20k). This would be a nightmare if I settled for the status qou, yes. (For perspective, I know a brain tumor can cost millions to treat).

    As is, the $6k out-of-pocket we are looking at, seems like a "big whoop." Dh and I haven't looked outside out HMO yet - that's a MIL thing. Meaning, I highly doubt we will go the "surgeon out of pocket" route anyway. Dh and I are happy with our options.

  8. frugaltexan Says:

    I'm glad you were spoiled on your birthday - you deserved it.

    {{{{hugs}}}}

  9. thriftorama Says:

    My father-in-law went through something similar. We had the same warnings about driving and after-effects, but he was back to his usual self in no time at all. I hope it works out the same for you.

    It's funny. I worry a lot about success and accomplishing things and my hubby always has to remind me that those things aren't the most important things, that we should just enjoy each other and our children and live more in the moment. He is right, and you are reminding me again of that.

  10. Teri Says:

    I just wanted to give you encouragement with the MD's my now 21 year old son was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor when he was 8, he also had balance problems and was actually at one point paralyzed on the right side, BUT after 6 weeks of radiation (his tumor was in-operable) he completely regained all of this back. He does still run oddly and now after 13 years he is doing great although he does have thyroid issues due to the radiation. Please keep positive thoughts going and I'll keep you and your family in my T & P.

  11. monkeymama Says:

    Thriftorama - It's all about balance. We tend to be extremely goal-oriented. But at the same time, we try to live in the now as much as possible. i.e. The idea of early retirement has never appealed to me. The concept of being miserable now - and working twice as hard, and being twice as deprived, just to possibly "retire early." I'd rather focus on doing whatever I can to enjoy my life NOW! But without neglecting the future, either.

    It's often helpful to have a spouse as a balancing force.

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