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The Secret of Success

June 2nd, 2007 at 03:02 pm

The Secret of Success is really simple at face value, but sometimes it is really hard to implement. I am one of those people who truly believe you can be successful of your own true will. Too often people like to write off success to luck, and I take it very personally. I know too many people who are successful because they worked extremely hard. There have been studies done on what makes people "lucky" and it is actually in people's habits that tend to make people lucky in general. I definitely can say I have noticed these same traits in the successful people around me. So what do you need to be successful?

1. Worry about Yourself, Not Everyone Else

I notice over and over people who are constantly comparing themselves to others and worried about what everyone else has, will never be happy. They will also not be successful because they will be too busy worrying about other people and/or putting their time and resources to impressing their "friends." Imagine if you took all that energy and channeled it into yourself; into what you want and what you want to be. IT makes all the difference. Sure, I compare myself to others at time, as I am always looking for a measure of my progress, and where I am at, etc. But it is not the be-all, end-all for me. I could really care less if my next door neighbor has a fancier car or if my friend is going on a fancier vacation. The reason I Could care less is because I live my life the way I want to lead it, in a way that makes me happy. It means I have no need to worry about everyone else and what they think. I realized very young everyone else wasn't going to make me happy. Only I can do that for myself. On the flip side, I will compare myself to successful people and look at my habits and see what they are doing differently, and what I need to do to achieve that success. Again, it's not the be-all, end-all. That kind of comparison can help you. But for the most part it is better not to worry about everyone else. As soon as you wish you were someone else, you aren't going to be successful. Striving to be as successful as someone else, now that I Can go for. But you still want to be "you." You don't want to be that person. I guess the true key is being happy with yourself. Everything else kind of follows from that.

2. Be Positive

Always try to be optimistic. For the pessimist, when things don't go their way, it's the end of the world. Or at the least it is a very difficult event. For the optimist, it means either it wasn't meant to be, or a better opportunity will present itself later. Case in point, you get fired or don't get the job you applied for. The pessimist gets discouraged much more easily and equates the job difficulties with their own abilities. An optimist will assume that it just wasn't meant to be, that something better is out there. An optimist can usually turn anyway situation into their advantage. Another key to being an optimist is always to imagine how things could be worse. When you imagine things as how they can be worse it is easier to see how a bad situation isn't so dire.

3. Always look for Opportunities

Most people miss opportunities because they are too busy looking for something else. Successful people see what is there rather than just what they're looking for. For example, in business, my husband is interested in video work and becoming a film maker. He could be hellbent on becoming a film maker and get that tunnel vision as he tried to get into the industry, which is a hard way to get in. But he also has marketing experience, and started noticing that a lot of the local film makers need a lot of marketing help. HE is starting to find a little niche for himself that he hadn't even thought of before. But I think this is a prime example. Unsuccessful people tend to get too caught up in exactly what they want and disappointment when they don't get it. Successful people tend to keep their options open and remain flexible. Sometimes success comes where they didn't expect it, but being open to slightly different routes makes all the difference. Successful people are also usually more willing to try different things, which means more opportunities as well.

Another way to look at it is that sometimes it is more about the journey than the destination.


4. NEVER say "I can't."

The second you say "I can't" to something, then you might as well forget about it. The next time you come up against an obstacle and start to say "I can't," change your thinking. Start to think "I can." I See too often people think they can't do something (I am talking simple things here) and just get stuck in a rut. It really is true for the most part that anything is possible if you think it is possible. The successful people that I know rarely say, "I can't" but the friends that I have that are struggling with the basics of life say "I can't" way too much. They are unwilling to try new things, to learn, to push themselves, or to even just work a little harder.

5. Don't Complain about Things you can Change

I am not much of a complainer and if I see something that can easily be fixed, I find it far more useful to fix it than to whine incessantly about it. I have a really silly story to share though that brings this point home though. I started a new job a few years back and the microwave in the kitchen was really slow and ancient. I remember it took like 10 minutes to heat up my soup. The funny thing is I remember thinking man, it was really bad, but it wasn't until a few lunches of hearing everyone complain incessantly about the microwave that I had finally had enough. I figured a new microwave was $50 or something and I would be willing to shell it out personally for a quicker lunch. But I just went up to my boss and asked him if we could get a new microwave. The next day we had a new microwave. I had even asked a co-worker if this would be taboo because I figured the only reason no one else had mentioned it was because it was like a taboo thing and the boss was known to be attached to the microwave or something. Anyway, I thought gosh, maybe I am just a dumb newbie here, but this is ridiculous. I don't think I ever told anyone else I had been key in the new microwave, but I was certainly glad when the whining stopped. Over the years a few other incidents have happened though where a simple conversation with the boss would clear things up. One thing I see too often lately is fear and stress over unreplied e-mails, when again a simple face-to-face conversation would clear it up. E-mails get accidentally deleted or overlooked. IF you are that worried about it, pick up the phone or go chat with the person to make sure they got your e-mail. It really is that simple!

Once you can make the little changes it is easier to see how you can make bigger changes. & I guess what I notice is successful people are more likely to find a solution and move on, and also be willing to accept that which they can not change. I think most people though have problems with this and create more obstacles in their life than their needs to be, wasting too much time on what can not be chaged, and worrying too much about stuff that doesn't matter (like slow microwaves).

6. Talk to Other People

#3 was about looking for opportunities. The truth is that the more people you know and talk to, the more opportunities will present themselves. If you have ever gone to a networking seminar you have seen this point hit home. Next time you are on an airplane strike up a conversation with your fellow passengers. Time and time again business contacts are made in places you don't expect. Keep in touch with your old college buddies and your ex-co-workers. The more branches of contacts you can keep, the more opportunities you will find in life. IT is amazing the opportunities you miss by not talking to people. One example for me is a neighbor who I had met on a few occasions, who I never told that I was a CPA. My work just never came up in conversation. A few months later, she actually called me at my office as she had been referred to me by a mutual friend. It wasn't until we started talking until we both realized who the other was. How silly that a third party had to inform her that I was a CPA.

I have also seen it recommended to break routines in order to meet more people. Shop at different stores, take different routes. The more people you come across, the more opportunities you will have.

7. Keep True to Your Word

I remember when I started my first job out of college my dad said something to me like 90% of success on the job is just showing up. I didn't think much about it at the time, but he brought it up again recently, asking me if wasn't he right. I thought back to how I was probably most appreciated by all my employers because I showed up on time every day. That's it. To me this has always been a simple concept. If I agreed to do something, I will do it. If I Can't keep my end of the bargain, I won't do it. To me what is obvious, I notice with time is really rare in people. It is rare that people will finish a task that they commit to, that they will show up for work on time every day, that they will meet all their deadlines, etc. If you can just commit to keeping your word, you will notice a huge difference in your life.

It is amazing to me how sometimes the simple little things can make all the difference. Of course as a whole, if you are not used to leading a successful lifestyle, it can be hard to implement. But you can take it one baby step at a time. Start by honoring all of your commitments (even if it means taking less commitments) and thinking more positively. You will notice changes in your life. From there start networking and keeping your eyes peeled for opportunities. Think hard before you say no to any opportunity that presents itself. Maybe most importantly, remember to stop saying, "I can't" in situations where you can and should. I guess that goes along with the positive thinking.

I think I can sum all of this up by simply saying don't get too wrapped up where you are (and where your peers are), but instead start focusing on where you want to go and how you are going to get there. Keeping all of these points in mind will get you there.

5.70%!

June 2nd, 2007 at 02:38 pm

Good timing! I was just thinking that all those promotional deals are great, but not worth it with CDs, as sometimes it can be difficult to get your money back out, making sure you don't miss the deadline, etc. Regardless, moving my money around a bunch of banks is not my thing. BUT I just got an e-mail that my local bank is offering a promotional 5.70% c.d. for 8 months. Woohoo. I noticed interest rates were really up yesterday (treasury bills) and was wondering if GMAC would raise their rates again - they have stayed very competitive. But the timing of this is just PERFECT. I have a $6k balance transfer in process right now. So I just pretty much drained most of my savings - about $10k. I will replenish it and then some with the balance transfers that last until next July or so anyway. The only regret I might have is I could renew the c.d. in 8 months at the same rate, if rates drop. Which I may consider because it would really only tie up my cash for 3 months or so beyond the final balance transfer payment. But not sure I want to tie up most of my savings all the same. Then again we have many options. So it could be worth it. If not for the balance transfers I am not even sure if I would bother. OR maybe I would just put a token amount in. But it is pretty sweet to up my return almost 1/2 percent. Going by the bank today anyway for a deposit so I can see if I can open the account today and transfer the money in when it arrives back from GMAC.

& you know GMAC can go up tomorrow, but I have a c.d. in my IRA at 5.50% that I am still pleased with. So I guess it is always a gamble, but locking in a good interest rate for the credit card arbitrage sounds mighty fine to me.

In other news we went for a nice walk around the lake last night. It has been a while, will have to remember to bring the camera. Plus there are 2 new parks along the way. So we went to our 1/2 way point and the kids played at the park for a while. There was a kite there flying and for the life of me I did not see who was flying it until I finally realized it was tied to a tree - LOL. OF course BM wanted to run home and get his kite then. There is certainly hardly ever a lack of wind. Well, it was a very pleasant evening but soon enough it will be hotter than hades and the bugs will be out in full force.

I am also very pleased with LM - he got my tanning genes. As a child I would be so dark most people assumed I Was mexican. WE really don't know my grandfather's ancestry but we always assumed native american, as he had very native american features. I never wore sunscreen as a child (which could have been bad - and means the tanning gene has its downside as I find I forget to sunscreen the kids too since they don't really burn). Anyway, my mom who is pretty much lily white always told me she was very dark skinned until she had children, around the same age I did. I always thought that was a bummer, but in my teens I got my first sunburn and once I was in college, I lost my extreme tan. As far as tans go I can lather up in SPF 45 and go lay outside and look like I have been laying outside all summer, in just a week of tanning, so I still have an edge as for as tanning for beauty I guess (which I Really don't do). But for the most part after years of not needing sunblock, I go for a walk outside or something and then get burned, and for the most part I am pretty lily white. Dh on the other hand is a sunburn machine. If he goes outside for 5 minutes he will turn into a lobster - very fair. So the kids came out blond/blue-eyed/fair I am thinking dear lord, poor kids, we will have to buy stock in sunscreen! But BM seems to have my skin genes and I am very very pleased. As long as he gets sunblock on he will turn 50 shades of tan in an instant. But LM - LM seems to be more a mini-me, and he went to the park one day this week and I Came home and did not recognize him - he was a tan monster - 100 shades of tan after an hour in the sun. I Was shocked. & then I said - well now THAT kid got my genes. LOL. I am just so happy both my boys aren't lobster!!!!! Like I said, I think it is great that they have their own protection form the sun. Phew! But all the same it makes it really easy to forget the sunblock for short jaunts outside. But hopefully I can give them better sun habits than I had growing up. OF course it will be interesting to see how the whole blond/blue-eyed/tan thing works. I wonder what nationality they will be assumed to be. PEople will probably just think they lay out in the sun 24/7 and we are every active because I think the blond/blue-eye thing precludes a mexican heritage. LOL. But we'll see.

Which reminds me something else I failed to mention. I have been getting a lot of compliments on my hair lately. IT is usually pretty flat but after I Wash my hair I twist it up all day and usually only wash every other day. So on the other days I Can wear it down, and my usually limp, lifeless hair actually has some body. Plus I got a really good cut, LOVE my pantene, and don't do anything else to my hair. So I have been getting lots of compliments of late. THen I read how people can't do their own hair and it looks crappy without a salon, etc. & I just roll my eyes at that. (Same with my home done nails which I am always complimented on as well - and I think they look better than plastic nails myself). But I just realized the irony in some of the flack I get about my hair. I have always been told by friends and such that it is so horrible to twist up my hair while it is wet, that it damages the hair. I do it about every other day of the week, and does my hair look damaged??? Not in the least. But I don't know why I was so dumb before. I had a friend telling me this again this week and I Was looking at her as she goes to a salon every few weeks or so. Her hair is dyed around once a month, hairspray and products galore, plus the occasional perm. I don't know why I never put 2 and 2 together before but I am just wondering how you can do ALL that crap to your hair but not twist it up in the name of damaging it. PEople are SO funny. Anyway, next time anyone says anything I think I will just have to say "bite me." LOL. The other funny thing is my hair has settled on a very dark brown color. It has always been rather dark, but I did the whole perm thing throughout the 80s, and into the 90s so with 50 perms yeah I KNOW how damaged your hair gets with those. & my hair in the end was getting to the point I would sometimes be called blonde. A little extreme, but it was getting light. Then I went through a phase where I died it a few times, and one final perm around 2000 before I got too lazy and stopped caring. & now I am disgusted by all the chemicals I once put on my head. So anyway, my grandma tells my mom recently that I most definitely dye my hair. I was like um, okay, did you tell her that all those perms and peroxide bleached my hair my entire teen years? Oh yeah, but my grandma thanks I am full of it and I dye my hair. Okay then - do I have any roots? LOL. I just think that is funny. I am blessed since gray hair seems to hit my family young, that I haven't had many grays yet, and maybe she is just assuming I couldn't be so dark-haired otherwise. Which mostly tells me I better enjoy this small window of opportunity for beautiful dark hair because it will turn gray soon. My mom has beautiful silver gray hair that I always thought I wouldn't mind on black hair, but how gray can look so crummy on brown hair. But the other day BM told me the other day that I have black hair, and it does seem my hair is getting darker with time. Maybe I Can pull off the silver look - time will tell. IT is funny because I always thought my mom had black hair and she would ALWAYS insist it is dark brown - hehe. So I figured I would embrace it - sure - black is my favorite color anyway. I much rather not dye my hair to hide the gray but I am realistic with myself - I won't know until the time comes what I Can or can not live with.

Anyway, lord knows what I am blabbing on and on about. But yes, today is shaping up to be quite busy. I Was telling my mom a little about that movie - Little Miss Sunshine and like homebody said - some of it hit a little close to home I think. I mentioned the van that had to be pushed to start and my mom said - oh we had a car like that once. LOL. So yeah, I Think they will enjoy. They are coming up today and I am all excited. My mom visits often, but not my dad. As far as me, I have aerobics in a couple of hours, hit the bank, and I brought a ton of work home. Brought stuff I can work on a little mindlessly so I can setup the laptop downstairs and be a little social. & I guess I will try to whip out an article before aerobics class.

Anyway, work was hell yesterday. I just wanted a good 8-hours to make progress on a big project (not done yet with the constant interruptions of late). & well by 2pm I hadn't even started because everyone wants everything yesterday. I am just so overwhelmed I Can't really look beyond tomorrow. I just tell myself it all always gets done - it WILL get done. I have no idea how, but it will. I brought a lot of work home, but I keep telling myself I can work every day until my cruise if need be. I just don't want to come back to a landslide, but I think it is inevitable. blah. Plus another coworker is on vacation next week and I have to get some of her work out. Figures. Is this payback for all my maternity leaves? Wink OF course honestly last time I Was on maternity leave I swear they just left stuff for me. LOL. Now that was a nightmare - coming back to stuff that hadn't been touched for months. Yeesh. But I am sure they did a lot of scrambling to make my clients happy too. So here's my payback. Wink Oh but anyway, I only got a couple of hours on said client but I made significant progress. Phew. I am not sure if I will have a finished product before my vacation, but I can get the difficulties out of the way at least. I feel like this is my biggest obstacle to catching up for now. But I will be raking in some overtime which is not all bad at all...

May Roundup

June 1st, 2007 at 02:53 pm

Well, May was not a great month here.

In the grand scheme of things, wasn't the worst. Our net worth went up $1300. From our current setup I am unclear where the $1300 came from. About $250 mortgage paydown, and the rest is probably divided between retirement and short-term savings. Probably mostly retirement. Have been saving $800/month for short-term expenses, but had a lot of dental bills and insurance to pay, so was probably a wash. Was a good investment month and I accrued $500 employer match, so that makes up most of our net worth increase. Dissapointed that little of it was actually money saved.

Investments are up 7.50% as a whole (cash and all). Not bad, but the year is young. Anything can happen.

Glancing at the budget and the credit card - oy vey. Lord knows why but the credit card has like $1900 charges. Our budget is more like $1200, but we splurged a bit and had some expenses from last month pop up late, which explains $200 or so of the excess. Groceries look okay, but gas is over $100 because I insisted on driving the van 2 times to san jose, mostly. The good is all we have planned in June is the LA trip but we'll take dh's car - it will hardly put a dent in the budget. Oh plus $100 extra we spent since our preschool bill was low. So a $1500 bill would probably be in a good range, but we are over $400 still. Well $100 is the gas. $100 dining out - we had our date out saturday and we treated our parents a couple of weeks back (long overdue). Still $200 over. Minus $130 to the dentist. LEaves $70 over budget still unaccounted for. In addition to our gift budget for the month, dh bought some birthday gifts for the kids, and he went rock climbing twice. & that pretty much narrows it down. Plus I prepaid the diaper service to up the rewards on my card. So we probably had a little room for the last stuff all else being equal. But all the eating out, dental bill, and the overage on gas pretty much reamed us this month. Oh well, it was a nice month.

I decided not to put any money into long-term savings last month with the $850 car repair, and the same this month with dentist (Expected it to be more) and cruise and all that stuff. So with that we will probably squeak by. But, um, I think it will leave much less money to splurge on our cruise overall. We have been having it way to good. June is going to have to be a little more low key!

Anyway, I don't mind relaxing a bit with a lot of unexpected/one-time expenses, and definitely wanted to get out a little more and enjoy since work was (supposed to be anyway) less busy. But on the flip side I don't want to get into the habit of being $500 or over budget every month. Not pretty. So we have work to do.

Not to fear since I intend to work this weekend and put in some overtime next week. I am just so swamped there is no denying it any more. I know dh will flip out, but I have to work this weekend. I figured if I squeezed in 10 hours overtime was a good $250 take-home, so I will work on some overtime this month and will still be able to make some long-term savings contributions for the month. Even if I don't get it for a while. Might as well take advantage since it is so busy anyway. 5 hours a week will make up the shortfall and let us add $500 to savings for June. It is just up to my boss if he wants to pay it out sooner or wait to christmas, but either way is fine with me. Will get it eventually and straight to savings.

Well, that pretty much sums up my month. Can't say we have any plans for June. So we'll keep it low key. Well, we'll try anyway. Wink May was just a month of enjoying luxuries we usually can't, and it is time to get back to reality!

On the other hand, we have already made significant progress on our net worth this year. 1/2 way to our net worth goal, and it is only May 31. Big Grin

It's been baby steps here. I wanted to get our short-term savings squared away (no prob at all here) and then I wanted to pay off the car and get our savings up to 3 months expenses. So so close ($1300 away on the efund?). Then do the ROTH conversions. I just wanted to clean up everything so that by the end of the year we should be starting to put 10% to retirement consistently. & then save my next raise, as my goal is 15% retirement. We are getting so close to all of this. So it's like I am not too worried about retirement right now, but at the same time taking steps to get it back up to par. & I guess the fact I am getting $500/month anyway from my boss makes it a lot easier to put it on the back burner. I was just thinking I have often put retirement on the back burner for other goals BUT I have always either had 10% from my check or a 10% match. I guess to me that is just not trying very hard so I don't count it or something. LOL. So it sounds way worse than it is. But I just want to get to the point on 1-income where we can pay all our bills, have ample savings, and contribute 15% to retirement. Really it's all I want, and we are getting so close I can almost taste it! Wink Of course I honestly only expect to get up to 8% or so in 2008, but it depends on my pay raise. Getting there slowly but surely... 10% is okay but 15% is what I really want to aim for, for the long-term.










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